Hello my darlings. I would like to thank lauparrillaxrobbie, OechsnerC, NotNecessarilyInThatOrder, Elle Light, Arwen (Guest), Mersan123 (Guest) and septimusromanseverus for the wonderful reviews. I would also like to thank those of you who have followed and favoured since my last update.
For those who have asked, Arthur and Gwen's relationship will be a background story. Now this chapter is set at the beginning of season 3, episode 10 'Queen of Hearts'. Again the bits in italics are dreams. I hope you like it.
Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin.
Guinevere walked up the aisle towards the throne of Camelot, her stiff purple grown trailing after her, and falling perfectly as she knelt at Arthur's feet. The room, while decorated in Camelot's finest glory was silent, as if the walls themselves held their breath, waiting for what was about to happen. Then Arthur stood before the court, a crowd on his head, and another held in his hands.
"By the sacred laws vested in me, I pronounce you Guinevere, Queen of Camelot." He said as he placed the crown in hand upon the lady's head. With that they both turned towards those in front of them, a collection of knights and nobles, and Merlin standing tall with a look of such pride in his eyes.
Morganas eyes flew open as she gasped. What she had just seen, Gwen sitting on a throne at Arthur's side, she wasn't sure how to handle that. Of course if she had considered it, she would have realised that that would be the outcome of all that was happening now. That Arthur was already leaning towards making Gwen his queen when he told her that he supported her and Merlin, when he told her he loved her maid. But for her to see it, for the goddess to want her to know of this outcome so strongly she broke through her protective bracelet… Morgana didn't understand. Why was she seeing this? Was she supposed to stop it, or help it to happen? And then there was Merlin. He had been standing next to Gaius, and she couldn't help but wonder where she herself had been. Because she had not been at his side as she assumed she would be in the future… unless. Was this less about Gwen becoming queen and more about her and him? Was this vision a sign to show her what would happen if she broke the enchantment that held him? Was that what the goddess wanted her to know? That if she succumbed to her weakness to have Merlin love her for herself and not because he had to, that he would turn away from her? She didn't know, and she had no one to turn to to ask.
Well that wasn't true, she could ask her sister, Morgause would surely know, but to ask her she would have to tell her of the agreement she and Merlin had made. Would have to tell her of her decision to give Arthur a chance to prove he is not their father. Would have to tell her about her other vision, the one where Arthur repealed the ban on magic. And she couldn't do that. But there was no one else she could talk to. No one else who would understand.
Gwen was smiling as she made her way towards her mistress's chambers. After her talk with Arthur the previous day and her realisation that Merlin had magic, she had felt something ease inside her. Knowing now that Merlin loved Morgana and would help her made her more inclined to trust her friend again. Made her no longer afraid of what Morgana would do with the powers she had suspicions she processed. Yes, everything was good now. Making her way through the door of Morganas chambers, breakfast tray in hand, she was surprised to find the lady up and sitting staring out of the window. She had been doing that a lot of late. Was she thinking of Merlin? Was that who distracted her so? Gwen hoped so. It was so nice to be in love.
"Good morning my lady. Is everything all right?" She asked with a smile as she put down the food and made her way towards Morgana's bed to start straightening the covers.
"Yes, Gwen, its fine. I just… I did not sleep well." Morgana replied turning from the window to look at the woman she had seen in her dream. She barely looked any younger than the one who had the crown placed on her head. Which could only mean that Arthur's time to be king would soon be upon them. But the how's and why's eluded her. All she could think about was the fact she had not seen herself in the crowd, watching the crowning of the queen.
"I'm sorry to hear that my lady, can I get you anything? Maybe a tonic from Gaius? I could ask Merlin to bring it." Gwen suggested boldly, hoping Morgana would realise from her words that she knew about her and her friend. Knew and supported them just as Arthur did.
"Thank you, Gwen. You are so kind." Morgana replied not agreeing to Gwen's suggestion, though she did not say no either. Instead she turned back to looking out of the window, staring over the citadel, trying to figure out what it was her dream was trying to tell her.
Gwen for her part curtsied to her lady before leaving quietly. She knew something was troubling Morgana, and while the lady did not seem to want to talk to her about it, maybe she would talk to the one she loved. With that in mind Gwen set out to find Merlin. It was time for them to talk, and hopefully he would be able to help her friend.
Merlin was making his way back from the princes chambers, he'd been wary that morning at how things would have changed due to the conversation they had had the previous evening, but it seemed he had nothing to worry about. Arthur had been his usual pratish self, refusing to get up and throwing things at him when he made him. Yep, everything was as it should be. He couldn't keep the goofy smile off his face at the idea that Arthur knew of his magic and accepted him. That everything was going to turn out all right. He was just about to head out towards the stables when a hand shot out to grab his arm. He stiffen instantly, already preparing for the snide smirk and whispered threats that were Morgana's stock in trade now-a-days, before he remembered that wasn't how they were anymore. And not a moment later he saw who it was who had grabbed him and his smile returned.
"Gwen." He said before remembering how she and Arthur had gone off to talk yesterday afternoon before the prince had told him of his idea to have him work for Gaius. He couldn't help but wonder what it was the prince had said the woman who held his heart, what he had told the one who was one of his closest friends, nor could he stop himself from wondering just what she thought of him now.
"Merlin, can we talk?" Gwen asked looking round to see if there was somewhere they could go so that they wouldn't be overheard. None of what she wanted to say to her friend would do well if it got the wrong ears.
"Of course." Merlin nodded, before leading her towards his and Gaius' chambers. It was the one place that they were least likely to be interrupted as the physician was out on his rounds and everyone knew it.
They said nothing until they were both standing facing each other in the centre of the court physician's room, the door closed behind them. Even then Merlin had no idea what to say to his friend. Luckily for him it seemed she was not so tongue tied.
"I know, Merlin."
"Know what?" Merlin asked cagily, there were so many things she could know, about his magic, or him and Morgana, or even Morgana's magic. He needed to know which of the secrets he held close she had discovered.
"About your magic. About all you have done for not just Arthur but Camelot itself. I know how you have been protecting us all from the shadows, and I know we owe you a debt that can never be repaid." Gwen responded with absolute sincerity, reaching for and taking a hold of Merlin's hands, holding them tight so he would understand she meant every word that she spoke. That she was thanking him for all those who didn't know who it was who had saved their lives time and time again.
"I don't want repayment, Gwen." Merlin replied with a soft smile as his eyes twinkled with unshed tears caused by a rush of feeling running through him at her actions more than her words. The fact she had reached for him, was holding his hands, it showed him that she trusted him more than any words she could say ever could. It was humbling to feel such acceptance for the part of him he had kept hidden for so long, from so many people. But it was also freeing. He felt as if a weight he had never realised was there, was slowly, bit by bit, lifting from him. It started with the conversation he had had with Arthur the previous night, and was now continuing with this one he was now having with Gwen. It was… there were no words to describe how he was feeling right then in truth.
"I know that, too." Gwen answered with a smile in return, her own eyes starting to tear up at the emotions she saw in her friend's eyes. She couldn't imagine how it must have felt to live while hiding such a part of who he was, live with a death sentence hanging over his head. But now was not the time for such thoughts. No, now was a time for looking towards the future. As such taking a deep breath she stood up straight her smile widening as she spoke once more, in a more playful tone. "I also know about you and Morgana. About the love you share, and the dreams you have for the future."
"Gwen-" Merlin groaned rolling his eyes at her for bringing that up. He really didn't want to discuss his relationship with Morgana, mainly because he knew it was so very different to what everyone thought. So much more complicated than just a difference in their status.
"Do not try and deny it." Gwen scolded him gently. She would not stand there and listen to him trying to tell her he didn't love Morgana when she knew he did. There would be no more secrets between them, not now.
"I wouldn't. I do love her, and I hope we can have a future together." Merlin replied completely serious. It was all he hoped for, that he and Morgana could change their destinies', rewrite the path they were supposed to walk and forge a new one together. He knew they had taken the first steps, he just hoped they continued… and that the secrets he had kept from his lady did not destroy all he was hoping they could build.
"Of course you can Merlin, Morgana loves you too. And speaking of the lady, she had a bad night, is there anything that Gaius has prepared you could take to her?" Gwen asked turning her mind to the true reason she had come to find Merlin. That she wanted someone to be there for the lady who was her friend.
"A bad night?" Merlin asked instantly going alert at the words. He was pretty sure he knew what that meant, but if she had had a vision even while wearing the bracelet given to her by Morgause… well he dreaded to think about what she had seen.
"Yes, I think her nightmares have returned some. I had hoped they had gone, she seemed to sleep much more peacefully of late but-" Gwen started to explain, getting worked up with worry that her mistress former malady was returning. She remembered all the nights she had stayed awake at Morgana's side as she cried and saw things no one should ever have to see. They had been terrible and violent and she didn't want her to have to go through those again.
"I will go to her, Gwen. Leave it with me." Merlin interrupted firmly. He needed to know what Morgana had seen, and what he could do to stop whatever terror was heading towards Camelot this time.
"Thank you Merlin, I knew I could trust you." Gwen replied smiling up at him once more and giving his hands a final squeeze before she let them go.
"Always." Merlin answered with a quirk of his eyebrow, making Gwen think he looked like he was trying to imitate Gaius and failing miserably, it made her chuckle as she turned towards the door, knowing Morgana would be in the best possible hands soon enough. And with that she left to start her daily chores, not seeing the knight who stood in the shadows of the corridor as she made her way down the stairs from Gaius' rooms.
Leon had been planning to see Gaius before training, hoping to get an update on the knights under his care. But he had woken late, though once he was dressed he realised he still had time to make it to the court physician's chamber if he was quick. Therefore he hurried across the castle to those rooms. He had just raised his hand to knock when he heard voices on the other side of the door.
"Gwen-" that was Merlin's voice. Though that was not unexpected considering he lived there as well. Again he went to knock only to hear clearly a voice he knew well from his own youth.
"do not try and deny it." Gwen. But what was Merlin trying to deny? Leon waited a heartbeat running through possibilities in his mind. He didn't mean to eavesdrop, but that moment he had taken to ruminate had made it already too late for him not to hear the next words spoken from Arthurs servant.
"I wouldn't. I do love her, and I hope we can have a future together." Merlin was in love? With who, and did Arthur know? Was that what had changed between the two of them? That Merlin had found himself a woman he wished to court? Though he couldn't see how that would affect the friendship between servant and prince. Of course the next words Gwen spoke cleared that one up for him as nothing else could.
"Of course you can Merlin, Morgana loves you too…" Leon heard nothing more of the conversation after those words. Instead he found himself retreating to a darkened corner of the corridor trying to process what he had just heard. Merlin and Morgana loved each other? Merlin and Morgana? They could never be together, Uther would have the servant's head if he even so much a suspected he had such inappropriate feelings for his ward. Suddenly Arthur's behaviour made so much more sense. Though not all of it. Leon suddenly remembered how the previous day when the prince and his servant had escorted the lady to her rooms as she was feeling unwell, remembered how it had been Merlin at her side and not Arthur. That made him think that the prince wasn't against the match. But then why was he not talking to Merlin after the battle with the bandits? Though if Arthur was for a connection between the Lady Morgana and Merlin, it did explain the sudden respect he was showing towards the man. But still… there had to be something more here, Arthur's behaviour was to contradictory to be only about developing feelings between Merlin and Morgana.
Leon had no idea what to do with the information he had just discovered, if he should try to talk to Merlin or Arthur about it, but he knew one thing, and that was he must make sure that no one else ever found out. Morgana had been through enough after being held for a year, and as for Merlin, well, Arthur would be lost without him. No, this was information he would take to his grave if needs be. No one would hear anything from him, and he just had to trust Merlin and Arthur would sort everything else out between themselves. He already knew too much, he didn't need to know anymore. No one needed to know he knew. Yes, he would pretend he hadn't ever heard that conversation and carry on as he always had. Watching and helping to protect the kingdom he loved. Because that was what he did, and if he now felt that meant protecting Merlin and Morgana's possible relationship, no one needed to know.