Hello my dears. I would like to thank Elle Light, Meri Ley (Guest), auparrillaxrobbie, OechsnerC and Gingeraffealene for the wonderful reviews. I would also like to thank those of you who have followed and favoured since my last update.
So here is the next chapter, I hope you like it.
Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin.
Merlin and Morgana walked down to the stream that ran close to the clearing, before starting to wander along its bank downriver. They walked arm in arm just enjoying each other's company. Enjoying being able to spend this time with the one they loved.
"Well it seems my plan is working." Morgana said, breaking the comfortable silence that had surrounded them.
"It does indeed." Merlin agreed, smiling at how well she had managed to manoeuvre Arthur and Gwen together, not to mention themselves as well. He was enjoying spending time with this Morgana, the one that was so close to the one he had once known and cared for.
"You were right, they are good together, and they will make a great king and queen." Morgana responded smiling up at him with a look that was filled with affection. There was no more bitterness of hate for what he had done, only thoughts of the future, of the possibility of their future together.
"They will." Merlin replied returning the smile as he looked down at her his eyes filled with the love he had yet to put into words, but knew he felt. Showing his feelings without worry of what she could be plotting behind his back. Truly hoping that those days were done.
Morgana found herself captivated by the look in Merlin's eyes. She wanted nothing more than to fall into them, to fall into his arms, but she knew she couldn't. She needed answers before she gave herself completely over to the man at her side. Needed to know it was real before she allowed her heart to completely rule her head. Needed to know she would not end up hurt and alone once the enchantment was lifted. Therefore turning to look at the scenery around her she spoke once more.
"This is a wonderful spot, I wonder how Arthur came up with it."
"I may have made a suggestion." Merlin replied with his trademark goofy grin. His words made Morgana's eyebrows raise.
"Really? Is this where you take all you lady friends to court them then?" She asked innocently, with a hint of teasing in her voice, though her question was a serious one in her own mind. Not that she was going to let Merlin know that.
But it seemed the man at her side was not so easily fooled, and as such he stopped and turned her to face him, answering her question with complete sincerity.
"I have no other 'lady friends' Morgana, only you."
"But surely in the past there must have been someone." Morgana argued back, not for a minute believing Merlin had lived a life devoid of female company. She had seen the way the serving girls looked at him, surely he had made a connection with at least one of them in the past.
"There was one, but she is gone now, and I never brought her here." Merlin replied, his expression going guarded as turned from her to look out into the distance and he thought of the only other woman he had ever loved. As he thought of Freya.
"What happened?" Morgana asked, gently, placing her hand on his arm to offer what comfort she could. She had seen the flash of pain in his eyes before he turned away, and while the idea of Merlin loving another sent a spear of pain through her own heart, she cared enough for him to want to help. To understand why he was not with the woman who had obviously captured his heart.
"She died." Merlin replied simply, not elaborating on the how's or when. There was no need. Freya was gone, and Morgana was here. He needed to concentrate on the woman in front of him, not the memory of past love.
"I am sorry, Merlin." Morgana responded sincerely. The death of a loved one was never kind. And while she had never felt the kind of pain he had, she had lost her family.
"It was a long time ago." Merlin replied with a smile. He wanted to change the conversation to something more light-hearted, but he knew if he and Morgana were to have the future he hoped they would, they would need to discuss these things. Would need to know each other's pain, and help each other recover from it.
"And since then, there has never been anyone else?" Morgana asked casually, starting to walk forwards once more, her hand back on Merlin's arm.
"Why are you so interested in my history, my love? Surely you have had more than your fair share of beau's." Merlin replied deciding to turn the tables on the lady beside him. Decided to find out what he could about the lady Morgana, other than what he had heard in servant's gossip at any rate.
"Not ones I cared anything for I assure you. They never saw me, just my position and what they could gain at my side." Morgana answered, bitterness present in her tone as she remembered all those who had fawned over her hand hoping to get Uther's attention. How she hated each and every one of them.
"I always saw you." Merlin murmured quietly at her side, not looking at her as he said the words. He had never voiced the feelings he had once had for the lady she had been, though there were those that had guessed, Arthur and Gwen being at the forefront in his mind.
At his words it was Morgana's turn to stop and turn him to face her. She wanted to know if he meant what she thought he did. That maybe there was a time before… before everything had happened. A time when he cared for her the way she wanted him to now. Needed to know if there was a chance that she could make this real if she could ignite those feelings in him again. Needed to know if it was possible that she had somehow already done so.
"What do you mean?" She asked breathlessly, her heart aching to for him to explain.
"You have always had a place in my heart Morgana, a place that no one else could ever remove you from." Merlin replied honestly, looking deep into her eyes. He wanted to tell her he loved her, but he knew now was not the time.
"And yet you tried to kill me." Morgana responded softly. Not sure why she brought that up now, but thinking back to how they had been, always led her back to the memory of lying dying in his arms after he had poisoned her.
"I had to choose, you or the kingdom." Merlin replied without contrition. He had made his choice, and no matter how much it pained him, no matter how much he regretted having to do it, he knew he would make the same choice again, if he had to.
"You mean you had to choose me or Arthur." Morgana responded deliriously. Of course he choose Arthur over her, he would always choose Arthur. She knew that, but it didn't stop her wishing things could be different. Wishing that for once, he would choose her.
"Yes. It killed me to do it Morgana, you have to believe me. I never wanted to hurt you." Merlin explained, reaching out to grab her hands in his hoping that this time she would give him forgiveness. Hoping that this time she would understand why he had done what he did.
"And yet you did." Morgana whispered looking deep into his eyes.
"I am sorry." Merlin said, voicing the apology though they both knew it was for causing her pain, rather than doing what he had done.
"But if given the same choice again you would make the same decisions." Morgana replied, putting words to what they both knew deep inside. That Merlin would always choose Arthur over her.
"I would." Merlin agreed, not bothering to hide the truth. They both knew it, so why lie? She needed to know that if she ever choose to fight Arthur, he would not be at her side to do it. He would always side with his king.
At that Morgana nodded, turning away from Merlin so that she could get her own emotions under control. She had not realised how much it would hurt to hear those two simple words from him, but it did. It hurt more than she could possibly imagine.
"Morgana." Merlin said, reaching out to cup her cheek, hoping to turn her face back to his. Hoping to turn her eyes back to his, not that he knew what he could say that would help her in this moment.
"I do not want to talk about this Merlin, not anymore." Morgana replied moving her face from his touch and walking forwards, without touching the man at her side. The man who caused such conflictions in her mind.
"But-" Merlin started to say only to be cut off when Morgana whirled round to face him, her eyes blazing.
"I said no." She snapped, sure that was the end of it.
"Please-" Merlin begged, reaching for her once more, holding her face in his hands as he looked deep into her eyes, wanting to do anything he could to get her mind away from the past and think instead of their future.
"Stop talking, Merlin." Morgana interrupted once more, her own hands raising to grip his wrists as if to remove his hands from her face. But before she did something occurred to that caused a frown appeared on her face as she looked up at him and muttered to herself. "You should have stopped talking."
At that she looked down at the bracelet her hand was wrapped around. The one that was meant to bind him to her will and she wondered why it was not working. Why it was Merlin kept on when she told him to stop, and thinking back she remembered all the other times he had gone against her. He shouldn't be able to do that. so why was he? What had gone wrong?
Merlin for his part stared down at the woman staring at the bracelet and he knew she was figuring it out. It was time to tell her the truth, that the spell had been broken by their first kiss, tell her that he loved her with all his heart. So he opened his mouth to say the words, but before he could a sound came from the bushes beside them. They both turned as one to see Arthur running towards them, hold Gwen's hand with one of his own a sword in the other. In fact Gwen also had a sword. It made Merlin go on high alert.
"Bandits." Was all Arthur had time to say before more peopled could be heard running towards them.
Morgana grabbed the sword from Gwen's lax grip as Arthur pushed the maid behind him hoping he could protect them all. With that thought he turned to see Morgana was standing at his side, weapon in hand. Where the hell was Merlin? Turning back he saw him standing behind Gwen with a look of a warrior waiting for battle in his eyes. It was enough to make Arthur to turn and face forwards again. With Merlin there, surely they could win this fight? If what he believed to be true was real, then Merlin would protect them just as much as Arthur himself would. And for the first time in his life Arthur found himself hoping he had magic on his side.
Merlin moved to stand behind Arthur, wanting to make sure he could use his magic without worry, even if he was sure Arthur knew the truth. They had not spoken anything out loud, and he did not want to be 'caught'. Didn't want to put Arthur in the position where he knew for sure exactly what his skills truly were. He felt a presence at his side, and turned quickly, wondering who it was and how he was going to hide his actions from them. But when he saw it was Gwen, and she was looking at him, begging him to save them with his eyes, he knew he was safe. She would never betray him, though this would be the first time she actually saw him use him magic, even if she claimed to know what he had done for Camelot. He hoped she would not be too disturbed by his actions, but he needed to protect Arthur. He needed to protect his friend. With that thought he turned back to enemy before him.
The force coming towards them was one they had no way of beating. There were at least ten bandits streaming into the area weapons raised, and Arthur knew he would never be able to fight them all. But as they charged his position it seemed as if some invisible hand came down to pick them off one by one. Some would stumble to the ground, rolling under the feet of others though Arthur knew the ground was clear. Others dropped their weapons as if they burnt them, holding their hands as if in pain. And yet others seemed to topple backwards as if they had run into an invisible wall. In fact out of the ten bandits that had started towards them, only three made it to their line. Three was a number Arthur could deal with, even if his only backup was Morgana at his side. At least she could swing a sword.
The remaining bandits were dealt with quickly by the royal siblings. The fight short enough that Arthur barely found himself breaking a sweat. Once the three were down he turned to the rest, to see them retreating back the way they came, a wary look in their eyes as they ran from the four in front of them. As if they were not sure how they had been defeated, but conscious of the fact that they had. Arthur smiled at that. Because he knew what had defeated them, or rather who had been once more orchestrating everything from the shadows. Once the area was clear of the enemy Arthur turned to Merlin, giving him a nod of appreciation in the place of the words he couldn't say. He still did not want his friend to answer the question with words, even if he had just done so with deeds alone. Those Arthur could pretend not to see. Could pretend ignorance if ever the suggestion was raised by someone else.
And Merlin seeing the nod returned it in understanding as well as appreciation for the role Arthur himself had played in the fight. After all he alone would not have been able to save them all, but together he and Arthur could do anything.
Morgana had fought as she had been trained to do, both in Camelot and by her sister whilst she had been away. She was surprised when only three bandits reached them, but she thought nothing much of it until they had been dispatched and she was able to look over the field. It was only then she realised that something else had helped them here. She could feel the signs of magic in the air, and as she watched the bandits retreat she had to wonder who would risk discovery to help Arthur Pendragon… though maybe it was less him and more herself they had helped. Had this been Morgause's work? No. Surely if the high priestess had done this the bandits would not have remained alive. She would have killed them all for daring to try and harm her. She did not know what was going on, but as she pieced things together in her mind she had to wonder if this magical assistance had been there for longer than just this fight. That maybe it was that rather than Merlin who had thwarted all their plans. Maybe there was someone else out there who knew what Arthur would do, knew of the king he could become, knew that someday he would accept magic. And if there was she needed to find them. Needed to hear why they thought this, and needed to see with her own eyes that there were others of her kind that sided with Prince Arthur. But first she had to see how said prince would take this obvious use of magic.
Therefore turning back to the three with her she was about to speak, to try and ask the questions that would hopefully raise the possibility of good magic in Arthurs mind. This was not an opportunity to be missed. But as she opened her mouth she saw her brother nod to Merlin, and the look in his eyes said more than his actions ever could. He was thanking him for what he had done. But what had Merlin done but cower behind them? Why was Arthur thanking him? She turned to Merlin, hoping to see him as baffled as she was, but instead she saw him repeat the action back to the man he followed… the man he followed. The man he was more loyal to than anyone else. The knowledge hit her right between the eyes. There was no one helping Merlin defend Camelot, he was doing all by himself. Because he was the one who was using magic to protect them. He was the one… Merlin had magic. Merlin had magic.
"No. No. No, no, no. NO!" Morgana screamed as the scales fell from her eyes and she saw everything in a clarity she had never done before. It was him, it had always been him.
Merlin heard Morgana's repeated denials and he knew what she had just worked out. Damn it, this was not supposed to happen now. How would this change things? How would this change her agreement to stand by Arthur's side? How would this change the love they shared? "Morgana-" He said as he reached for her, hoping that if he could hold her close he could explain. Hoping that he could get her to understand why he had never told her his biggest secret.
"Don't you touch me! Don't you dare to come anywhere near me. You betrayed me." Morgana spat before turning and running, not paying any attention to where she was going or what she was going to do when she got there. She just needed to be away from Merlin. Merlin who had magic and yet had left her alone and afraid when she had confided in him about her own powers. Merlin who had poisoned her to protect the man who wanted him dead just as much as her. Merlin who sided with her brother against his own kind. Merlin who had betrayed her heart by convincing her to love him.
"Morgana!" Arthur shouted after her retreating figure. He swore quietly under his breath when she didn't stop, and moved to follow her only to find and hand on his arm stopping him.
"I'll go. You get Gwen back to Camelot." Merlin said in a voice he rarely used, it was one that that held power, yet was still respectful to the one he was speak with. With that said he was moving, following the very obvious path Morgana was laying for him. Followed her trail and hoped with everything in him that everything had not just been destroyed.
Arthur stood and watched Merlin run after Morgana and wondered what to do. He wanted to follow, but Merlin had been right. He needed to get Gwen back to the castle. But before he could decide he found a small hand in his pulling in the direction the other two had gone.
"Guinevere?" He asked in confusion as he turned to her.
"If you think I am leaving them here alone Arthur Pendragon, you are wrong. Come on, or we'll lose the trail." And with the Arthur found himself running alongside the woman he loved. Running after the woman he thought of as a sister and his servant who was his closest friend.