Rumors of War, Part I

"So, am I reading this right?" Jason asked one evening, about a week later, holding up a text he'd borrowed from Louise on familiars.

"You ought to be, now that you've learned how," she replied as she frowned at the puddle of water she was attempting to Dry.

"Yeah, but is the author serious? He's claiming that even though belua have native auxilia, they don't manifest all their other aulixila immediately, and they need to be trained by their masters."

His little mistress looked up. "Yes, that's correct. If we didn't spend most of our evenings here in my room, you'd see students training their familiars in the courtyards. And yes," she sighed, "that does mean there's still hope that you'll find your own auxilia eventually."

Then her lips twitched. "Although we should be grateful no one's worried about what they could be: Zerbst keeps complaining at meals that they won't let her train Flame without a professor present, just in case."

Jason snorted. "I can't blame them. So . . . have you thought about what you want to, er, train me to do once you've learned all the cantrips?"

"Not all of them," Louise corrected. "There's more than the First Form array. They're just a good foundation for later spells."

"Right. Nit-picking aside?"

"I don't know," she said with a hint of exasperation. "You know that humans aren't familiars! How am I supposed to know what auxilia you might develop if nobody has ever had a human familiar before? And even if I had some idea, how am I supposed to know how to train you?"

"Okay, but these three purposes the author lists: To spy, to seek, to protect." He scratched his head. "The auxilia for them sound a little more distinct from each other than I'd thought. But I'm pretty sure Kirche was possessing Flame that one night."

Louise nodded. "She was. If you read a little further, you'll see that even when a mage looks through the eyes of her familiar, and is directing the familiar towards some task, the familiar's instincts are present. And smarter animals, like cats, take more practice to keep the familiar's mind focused."

"Cats?" Hmm. "What about dogs?"

"Dog-like familiars are easier to work with." She looked a little wistful. "They're some of the most trustworthy and affectionate familiars a mage can summon, and they're easy to train for scouting, seeking, and protection. If I couldn't have something impressive like a dragon or a salamander, I wouldn't have minded a dog familiar."

"Uh . . . sorry."

Louise quickly focused back on him. "I'm not saying I mind having you as a familiar anymore!"

"Yeah, but you were disappointed when I showed up."

That got her to roll her eyes. "Of course I was upset. You didn't look like you could fight, your universal auxilia didn't seem to be there at all, and you don't have any special senses like animals do, so how could you hope to find reagents?"

"Special senses?" he repeated

Louise nodded again. "Familiars can tell the difference between ordinary things and reagents, especially if the reagents are good for their master's affinity. And if they can't, they can be trained, but no one knows what you have to do to train a human to tell the difference."

"I suppose I could, uh, study books, or-"

She rolled her eyes. "I've been taught about reagents all my life, and I have a wand I can channel vis through, so I can sort out what's useful as a reagent much better than you could."

"But if familiars have special senses . . . if I could learn to see magic or something . . ."

"If you could do that," she replied slowly, "it'd be . . . Zerbst would be incredibly jealous."

"So it would be worth doing. Then the question is, how do I go about-"

There was a sudden tapping at the window, and Jason broke off what he was saying to look over at the source of the noise. A small shadowy shape flapped its wings furiously, hovering aloft and beating at the window again.

Louise lifted her wand and Levitated the window open, and in flew what was revealed to be an owl. It landed on the top of one of the posts of the canopy bed and hooted, staring down at the two of them.

"Louise de La Vallière," she Named, looking simultaneously surprised and hopeful. The owl swooped down to her, and permitted her to remove the tightly-rolled up sheet of silk paper that had been tied around its neck. Relieved of its burden, it promptly flew out the window and vanished into the night.

"What just happened?" Jason asked, slightly unnerved by the whole thing.

Louise paused in unrolling the paper to give him a doubtful look. "Don't you remember me making the emblem and showing it to Princess Henrietta?"

"Yes, but . . . I think I need the explanation for idiots foreigners again."

She sighed. "It's not that complicated. I gave her my Name, and her Highness knew I'd be at the Academy, so she sent a bird here, and my emblem told it which window to knock at."

"Oh, okay." He paused. "I'm not accusing the princess of anything, but what happens if someone sends something bad?"

Louise shook her head. "If it's prepared correctly, an emblem won't match a Name spoken with ill intent." Then she went back to unrolling the scroll.

"'My Dearest Friend Louise,'" she read out loud:

"'It truly has been too long since we could speak together as friends. I've missed you horribly, and would have given anything to have you by my side, learning our spells together. For with your mother's legacy, who could deny your right to the best instruction possible? The years have been lonely, and our brief reunions since have been far too constrained by the demands of etiquette and propriety.'"

With this, she paused and rolled her eyes.

"What?" Jason asked.

"The last three times we met," Louise explained, "I had to help her sneak away, and then cover for her absence. We could have spent more time together, if she hadn't done that."

"Well, what was she doing?"

"She-" His little mistress suddenly flushed. "Please don't ask me. I can't betray her confidences."

"Uh, alright," he agreed. "Should you be reading this out loud, then?"

"This is alright, as long as you keep it to yourself. 'Sometimes I feel almost smothered by the demands of my position, especially as the Regency Council insists on trying to shelter me as the child that I must grow out of having been, rather than helping me become the woman and Queen that I must be. Indeed I fear the time is fast approaching: Mother has little desire to continue to reign, and I believe she will formally abdicate as soon as possible.'"

Louise sighed. "That's what Mother was worried about, when His Majesty died three years ago. Queen Marianne's constitution just isn't up to reigning on her own."

"Yeah, I think I remember you saying something about that."

"'And sometimes I can't help but suspect that Mother's counselors would prefer that I marry his Imperial Highness jure uxoris, and confine myself to the bower and nursery while they carry on the business of governing Tristain in Mother's and then my name.'"

Jason snorted. "If that's what they have in mind, they're probably in for a rude awakening."

She looked up from the letter. "Why do you say that?"

"I'm guessing these guys were King, uh, Henry?"

"King Henri, yes."

"King Henri's people, originally. They had his trust, they spoke with his voice, etc. But if Henrietta follows her mother's example and turns over the duties of ruling to her husband-to-be, what makes these guys think that he'll want them to be the ones in charge of Tristain? Especially if it's going to be broken up into individual provinces?"

Louise nodded and smirked a bit. "That sounds likely." Her smirk faded. "I hope she doesn't. I've heard that Atma Tharoor – he's the Imperial Heir – rules the province he's governor of with a cruel and heavy hand."

Jason's eyebrows rose. "Then why is Henrietta marrying him?"

"Tristain needs," she paused and winced, "a secure ally these days. 'They certainly don't trust me with the worries of rulership now. I had to return to Bruxelles and lean on some of the weaker clerks before anyone was willing to admit that Reconquista agents have been infiltrating the capitol. Even now that I am betrothed, Cardinal Mazarin and the rest of the Council believe they're doing best by "protecting" me from such dire concerns.'"

"'Reconquista?'" So who invaded Halkagenia, and where, and how long is it taking to kick them out?

Louise looked at him askance. "You must be from far away. Reconquista is a religious movement, hoping to build up support for the next crusade to reclaim the Holy Land from the elves."

"Uh, okay." Sounds like the translator is conflating the discrete campaigns to retake Jerusalem from the Islamic invaders with the continuous struggle to retake the conquered parts of the Iberian peninsula from the Islamic invaders. If it's choosing 'Reconquista' over 'Crusades', then- "I take it the army that's over there right now needs some reinforcement?"

This time his little mistress gave him a very funny look. "The last crusade against the elves was a hundred years ago."

"Oh." Then why . . . never mind. Translation hiccup. Move on! "How long has it been since the elves seized the Holy Land, then? Two hundred years? Three?"

She shook her head sadly. "You really don't know anything. The elves forced us out of the Holy Land over six thousand years ago."

"Six-?!" Bloody hell, that's like something out of a bad Tolkien ripoff! "More than a handful of crusades taken against them, then?"

Louise nodded, and said in a glum tone: "But they never succeed for very long. Father says we probably wouldn't bother, if we never had any surpluses of mages." She then looked a little guilty, and quickly added: "He doesn't say that where our chaplain can hear, though."

"Is that what happens when there're too many mages?" Jason asked, slightly appalled. "They get sent off to die against the elves?"

"It's not that organized," she hastened to clarify. "But there's only so much good farmland to go around. If there are too many Triangles . . . it hasn't been like that for generations, though. Except now in Albion, I suppose, where Reconquista has focused their efforts."

"Okay, so they want to launch a new crusade. Why do they need agents to infiltrate?"

"They say they need to unite all of Halkegenia together, or at least the Blessed Realms. If that happened, they could probably demand that Germania surrender, and then launch the crusade."

"Okay. Which ones are the Blessed Realms, though?"

Louise blinked. "You don't know . . . Tristain is the Realm of Water, obviously."

"You mean because her Highness is a Water mage?"

She nodded. "The rulers of the Blessed Realms always favor their element. Albion is the Realm of Air. Gallia is the Realm of Earth, and the Principalities of Romalia are united under the Pope as the Realm of Fire."

Jason nodded back. "Okay, I think I've got it. What about Germania?"

Louise shook her head. "Germania's never been a Blessed Realm. They were never part of the Romalian Empire, and after it fell the Relics stayed within the boundaries of the former empire."

"Ah. And what are the Relics?"

"They're-" She broke off and frowned. "Think of them as powerful nobilia, blessed by Brimir. They can't be copied, and . . . Queen Marianne uses the wand Gangsamur every week for the Queen's Mercy, where she visits a hospital and heals everyone who can be healed. You can't-"

Louise paused and shook her head. "Even the most powerful medica would exhaust her vis after a few patients, no matter how good her wand was. Gangsamur is the most cherished Relic of Water, or at least Mother says it's the one that other nations would most want to claim, if they could."

"I can see that." The healing touch of the king, kicked up to eleven. "So if Tristain is dissolved into Germania, then Germania becomes the Realm of Water?"

"And Germania would never support a crusade, of course."

"Of course," he agreed drily, and waited for her to expound on that.

"So if Reconquista wants to claim the Relics of Air and Water, it needs to conquer both Albion and Tristain before Tristain and Germania are united. But if that happens, Gallia and Germania will both try to destroy Reconquista, before it can become any more powerful." Louise paused again. "I think that's how Mother and Father would analyze it, at least. The Academy doesn't offer classes on strategy, so I haven't participated in one of these scenarios since the last time I went home."

"Well, if that letter's right, it sounds like Reconquista wants to try to take over Tristain anyway. Do they think they can play Germania and Gallia off against each other?"

She grimaced. "I don't know. They must think something like that. Anyway, 'When I speak forthrightly, they dismiss me as an emotional maiden, overreacting to rumors. Brimir help me, I almost hope they are correct. It would be a relief to be certain that we will be spared the turmoil currently afflicting Albion.

"'But if I do nothing, I merely prove that they are correct, that I am a cossetted maiden, unfit to rule, suited only to bed and bower.

"'I do not know who I can trust, here in this gilded cage that is the royal palace. I know my letters are opened and read, for my own good (they say!), and so I have not even been able to share my thoughts frankly with you, until now, with your emblem ready to use. By the blue-'"

Louise stopped again suddenly, flushing. "Um, she mentions a prank we did when I was almost eight. It's . . . never mind! 'I have always been able to trust your loyalty, your discretion. If there is trouble with Reconquista, I know I can rely on you to report the truth faithfully, and not try to shield my 'delicate sensibilities' from any unpleasant facts.'"

"Hmm. I haven't noticed any pro-crusade or anti-princess sentiment since showing up," Jason pointed out. "Although I admit I haven't been paying attention and looking for that sort of thing."

"No, there wouldn't be. Not here at the Academy. 'I know you have classes, but this issue is weighing heavily on my mind. I would greatly appreciate it if you would come to Bruxelles and be my eyes and ears, out among the people where I cannot go.'"

He raised one eyebrow. "She's right, you do have classes. How would you justify skiving off?"

Louise looked uneasy. "It's not truly skiving off, if her Highness needs my help. Anyway, she addresses that: 'If you agree, I will send a similar message to your Headmaster, requesting your presence for a few weeks. That will hopefully be enough time to confirm whether Reconquista has truly become a problem for Tristain or not.'" Her look turned thoughtful. "I can practice cantrips on my own, I don't need to be in class for that. And I'm so far behind," she added, a touch bitterly, "that there's not much point in Mr. Colbert giving me the usual examinations before classes let out for the summer."

"The usual-?" A thought struck Jason. "You aren't in danger of being expelled, are you?"

"No, no, not as long as I keep improving." Louise grimaced. "Although if I'm not making progress on Dots by winter, that might . . . never mind."

"You are making progress, though," he pointed out. "Your Ignite causes fire, and your speed and accuracy with Firebolt is a lot better than it was when you started."

"That's not good enough yet!" she snapped. "I need to be able to truly cast them."

Jason raised an eyebrow. "Okay, but it's not like you're going to be slacking off between now and winter."

"No, but-" Louise broke off, sighing. "It still feels like there's something I'm just not getting, some special trick that if I knew, I could . . . never mind. 'If you are willing to seek out the truth for me among the commoners and the nobles for me, send me your reply and I will give you a warrant for enough ecu to cover your expenses. Yours in eternal friendship, Henrietta' et cetera."

"Question," he said. "If you're her friend, wouldn't your face be known?"

She shook her head. "She would always come visit my parents' estate, when we were young. Queen Marianne found it a welcome relief from the intrigue at Bruxelles, and her Highness was less distracted from her studies." She flushed and ducked her head. "When we weren't sneaking out, looking for mischief." Then her head rose back up, revealing the smile playing at her lips. "But Her Majesty was always tolerant when Henrietta was with me, and wouldn't let Mother punish us harshly." She paused. "And later, when we would visit Bruxelles, no one payed attention to me. Eléonore was the important one."

"Alright." Jason nodded slowly. "Next up, I don't think I've seen pink hair on any of the maids. Or very many of the nobles."

"It's not common," Louise agreed, "but I could dye my hair red. Or perhaps just my roots, and make it seem that I'm dyeing it pink."

He looked at her, considering. Aristocratic bearing and a temper. She'd had better have some hidden depths if this is going to work. On the other hand, the princess knows her better than we do. Maybe she does have the acting chops for this.

"Jason? Is something wrong?"

He shook himself. "No, just thinking about things. Well, if it gets dicey, you've got a wand and you've been practicing. If you want to give this a go, we'll do it."

Louise smiled, and retrieved pen and paper to begin her reply to Princess Henrietta.

"You seemed preoccupied this afternoon, even worried," Mr. Colbert noted, after pulled Jason aside after class. "I take it that Miss Vallière's upcoming visit to Bruxelles is not merely a matter of catching up with her childhood friend."

That got a wince. "I don't think I'm supposed to talk about that."

"Indeed? Then you should learn better control over your expressions. I'll not press for details, but if you wish advice, I'll offer what I can."

Jason thought about it for a moment, then shrugged. "It turns out that the relative peacefulness of the Academy, you know, where feuds like Louise and Kirche are carried out with words, rather than assassination attempts?"

Mr. Colbert nodded, smiling slightly. "The worst we must deal with here are the high spirits of youth. Trouble enough, but at least we avoid more serious concerns."

"Yeah. Turns out that's not particularly reflected in the outside world."

The professor nodded again, this time sadly. "Unfortunately, it has been over a generation since the nations of Halkagenia have engaged in serious warfare. Those who understand the high cost and the uncertain rewards are being replaced by younger men and women, who are more likely to focus on the glory they believe they can win."

"So you do pay attention to what goes on outside?"

"Of course. I am not on speaking terms with everyone who survived the misadventures of my own youthful foolishness, but I exchange letters with those I trust."

"Right. And Tristain seems caught in the middle of it."

Mr. Colbert nodded a third time. "Astutely said. Thus the recent news that her Highness will marry the Heir of Germania, and hopefully shelter us all through the coming years. Although," he grimaced, "many are unhappy at this development, with the Empire so much larger than Tristain, and-"

He broke off to peer at Jason. "And that pertains to your master's visit to Bruxelles, I see. Very well, I shall not inquire."

Oh, come on. Are wethat easy to read? "Thanks. But speaking of upset nobles, if the worst happens, and Louise is targeted for removal? What are the options for defending her? Is there a spell or nobilum that will keep someone from sticking a knife in her ribs?"

The professor nodded. "The praestum Shield will do precisely that. But it is a Line, and aspected to Air, so Miss Vallière cannot possibly hope to learn it before you leave. And it will only halt the impetus of a limited number of attacks before collapsing. A mage-knight is considered adequate with Shield if it perseveres through a single attack while collapsing to halt the second."

"Oh. Hey, how does that work in battle? I mean, that snake of yours is impressive, but-"

Jason broke off at Mr. Colbert's pained look.

"A fair question," the professor allowed, after a moment. "But it nearly answers itself. It's much safer to fight through a vernaculum than to match spells against your for directly, and easier to disengage if the battle goes poorly. Indeed, one of the weaknesses of skirmishers is that, no matter how clever the counters they've practiced, it's extremely difficult to fend off properly commanded vernacula at skirmishing distance."

"Oh," Jason said, nodding. "That's why your fight with, uh, Kaiba-?"

"Kaita the Gust."

"Yeah, him. That's why it was so one-sided."

"I did warn him that I don't duel," confirmed Mr. Colbert, who looked very much like he was trying not to look smug. "The spells in his repertoire were genuinely elegant, and skillfully cast, but the professional soldier is not interested in elegance. Rather, he seeks to defeat the foe as easily and with as little cost or greatest gain to his side as he can manage."

"Right. But all this means I need to come up with a way to protect Louise myself, since she doesn't know Shield. And I think I might have a way. You can shape metal quickly, right? For your tinkering?"

"I can."

"Okay. There's this compound made out of charcoal, sulfur, and saltpeter-"

"You're referring to gunpowder, I assume?"

"Uh-" Jason's jaw dropped open. "You guys have gunpowder? Why haven't I seen any guns around here?"

Mr. Colbert raised an eyebrow. "At an academy for magical instruction, where the adolescent are taught how to Ignite combustible materials?"

"Right. Silly question."

"Indeed. And the alchemy of gunpowder is more prone to combustion than most material. There are even a series of spells, cantrip through Square, that were devised to Ignite Gunpowder. Of them, only the cantrip version needs to target gunpowder precisely. At Dot level, the mage may merely target a person, and set off all the gunpowder they might happen to carry, or even gunpowder carried by someone standing right next to them."

Jason's eyebrows shot up. "So, the Square version covers a whole army, or something like that?"

"Just so."

"Meaning guns are useless."

"Not entirely. Ships are already warded against fire elementari, so guns and cannons are popular armaments. Better than the enemy having a Wind mage able to blow arrows or catapult stones off-target, certainly."

"That . . . wait, you can ward against entire elements, but they don't last long enough against specific spells?"

"By warding against the entire element, beneficial effects as well, the protections can be made more durable. They are also more extensive: The equivalent would be a ward Marked across your entire body."

"Oh. And ships need cannons to be able to attack an enemy, so they have to be warded."

"Not quite. Ships have been warded against fire since before gunpowder was discovered, because the pitch that keeps a ship water-tight also makes it very flammable, and thus vulnerable to any enemy Fire mage. The fact that they already enjoy such magical protection simply means that crews also do not need to worry about an enemy wizard setting fire to their gunpowder along with their ship."

"Okay, so firearms don't get used on land."

"They do, but if you wish to Mark them with lasting defenses against fire, it must be done while the gun is crafted. Thus they are far more expensive, and there are never enough mages willing to spend their time Marking weapon after weapon. Guns meant for shipboard use need no such protections, and are thus much less expensive to craft."

"Gotcha." Well, if we can't give the locals guns, do the next best thing and up-gun them. "Okay, moving on, there's this trick where you wet the gunpowder while you're making it-"

"Which causes it to explode better after it dries. Jason, we've known about gunpowder for centuries. Unless it was part of your focus as a scholar, your studies may not have taught you enough to improve on our craft."

He bit back a curse. What the hell kind of sci-fi/fantasy adventure is this, anyway? The locals aren't supposed to already know the tidbits of antique tech that we half-remember! Okay, one more time. And if Mr. Colbert knows this one, we quit! "So you know gunpowder. Do you know about smokeless gunpowder?"

"'Smokeless'? No. Even the best gunpowder leaves behind plenty of residue." The professor looked intrigued. "How do you make it?"

Hah! Score one for the Earth hero! Except, oh, damn-

Jason winced. "I don't know for sure. Look, making gunpowder is a hobby for some of my people, because if you're careful it's fairly safe to make. Smokeless powder, not so much. I know that in at least one of the stages of making it, the stuff is incredibly volatile. Minimum, you'd want to take the same precautions as you would with Louise trying out a new spell.

"Still, it's more powerful than sulfur gunpowder, so it may be worth developing. If you want to try, I think the material you need to start with is gun-cotton, which you make by combining nitric acid and . . . is it wool or cotton? Oh, 'gun-cotton', so it pretty much has to be cotton."

"And then?"

"I'm not really sure, to be honest. This wasn't part of my focus as a scholar."

Mr. Colbert grimaced. "I'm not sure that's enough to go on right now. Maybe if I had more time in the day."

"Yeah, I get that. So, are your firearms muzzle-loaders or breach-loaders?"

"'Breach-loaders'," the professor repeated with a raised eyebrow. "Are you by chance referring to the rogues' pistol design that came out of Germania a little over a decade ago?"

"I could be," Jason replied cautiously. "But I'm foreign, so I really don't know one way or another. Describe it for me?"

"It's quite clever: The barrel unscrews, allowing the gunpowder and bullet to be loaded quickly. Because of which, the barrel is often rifled and the bullet is slightly wider than the inside of the barrel."

He blinked. "I'm sorry – rifling is obviously good, it allows better accuracy over longer distances – but why is it significant?"

"You truly don't know?"

He shrugged. "Most of our firearms back home are rifled, these days. It's entirely routine."

Mr. Colbert gave him a long, considering look.

"Jason," the professor finally said. "Do your people favor these 'breach-loaders' of yours?"

"Uh, yeah. We've gone pretty far with the concept, actually."

"Ah. Then you're probably not aware that it takes much longer for a bullet to be rammed down the muzzle of a rifle than it would take to similarly arm a musket."

"Oh. Okay, so you do still use muzzle-loader firearms. Even though the design of the rogues pistol makes loading a rifle faster?"

Mr. Colbert gave him another raised eyebrow. "The name of the design does not provide you the needed clues?"

"Uh, what, only rogues are so dastardly to use a rifled weapon that can be fired quickly?"

The professor shook his head. "No. The rogues' pistol is impractical for use in battle. It's all too easy to drop the barrel, and then the soldier is left scrambling in the dirt, and likely shot by enemy musketry before being able to discharge his weapon. Furthermore, unscrewing the barrel of a longer firearm is simply not feasible, in battle or out of battle."

"Oh. So it's just useful for civilians, then?"

Mr. Colbert smiled thinly. "The utility of a rogues pistol is in short engagements that will be decided quickly. Especially since the bullet will remain in the pistol and not fall out, and will likewise prevent the gunpowder from falling out. Thus, as long as the frizzen of the flash pan fits tightly on each pistol, it's feasible to load several of them, and conceal them under your clothing. A commoner might keep one for self-defense, by himself in the evening, but they're far more likely to be employed by the robbers who would waylay him. Even a mage might fall prey to such a robber, if his Shield will not protect him from at least two discharges. Thus the need for a mage-knight to be skilled enough with Shield to do precisely that."

Jason nodded. "I think I understand. Uh-" He cast his mind back towards half-remembered websites, you-tube tutorials, and Discovery Channel specials. "What mechanisms do you use to actually fire the guns?"

"Ah!" The professor's smile was now a bit more genuine. "I'll describe them for you, but I think that the latest developments, once again out of Germania, have advanced firing mechanisms to the peak of what's possible." He paused, then admitted: "At least as a combination of simplicity and reliability. I've occasionally tinkered with alternatives, but they've all proven overly complicated, and never enough of an improvement to be worth that complexity."

"Alright, lay it on me." Jason smiled back. "Lecture as much as you want."

Mr. Colbert's eyes glinted in amusement. "A history lesson? Very well. We're not actually certain when gunpowder was first formulated. It was considered an alchemical curiosity during the height of the Romalian empire, and for every task that it might be suited to, it was found that spells and were superior. My understanding is that it primarily saw use during celebrations, as a means of creating flashes of light and smoke, and often mixed with other alchemical formulations to add color and create patterns to please the eyes of the celebrants.

"Likewise it's not certain when the first cannons were devised. Attempts to use gunpowder to weaken enemy fortifications during the collapse of the Romalian empire ensured that the Ignite Gunpowder spells were widely preserved, and so it's likely that cannons were first developed for use by ships, they being already protected from Fire spells. It may even be that they were first developed by one of the pirate fleets that harried Halkagenia during that deadly age.

"But eventually, several hundred years ago, someone had the thought to make a cannon that was small enough to be carried and aimed by an individual soldier or sailor. However, aiming was difficult, since the means of touching off the powder was much the same as it was with cannons: A slow-burning match was touched to the flash pan containing a small amount of gunpowder, which had a very small hole leading to the interior of the gun where the power and bullet were waiting. Despite the difficulties in aiming, it allowed commoner sailors to be somewhat useful as ships closed in on each other, since, like cannonballs, the bullets fired too fast for any mage of Air to counter.

"The first major advance to follow was the development of the matchlock, a trigger mechanism that held the slow-burning match for the commoner. Aiming became less of a problem, although the match obviously needed to be removed while the musket was reloaded, and so they were a bit slower to fire."

"Uh, obviously?" Jason broke in. "Sorry, why was that obvious?"

"There was too much danger of the match fouling, or even a misfire while loading. That was true even after a lid for the flash pan was devised, so that the musketeer might prime the flash pan before loading the powder and bullet down the barrel."

"Okay."

"The next development took place approximately two hundred years ago, and I've always admired it for its elegance. A small steel wheel was loaded with a spring mechanism, and when the trigger was pulled, the wheel turned against a bit of pyrite, creating sparks that were used to ignite the flash pan." Mr. Colbert sighed. "It made the first pistols possible, but a wheellock is quite complicated, and never truly replaced the matchlock. They saw the most use in rifles, used by skilled marksmen to assault enemy mages from long distances.

"Matchlock and wheellock firearms are no longer manufactured, but matchlocks are still used by commoner families, for hunting and the like. And if I understand it correctly, the Crown still has a stockpile that they can use to arm conscripts with, should it be necessary to raise such an army quickly."

"So what's used these days? And why pyrite, instead of flint? Isn't flint and steel easier to use to make sparks?"

"Indeed. Unfortunately, flint is hard enough to wear grooves in the steel wheel over time. In any event, such men as were interested attempted to come up with better, more elaborate mechanisms, but it was Germania, a little over a generation ago, who came up with a true advance over both the matchlock's simplicity and the wheellock's elegance."

Jason raised an eyebrow. "You wouldn't happen to call it the 'flintlock', would you?" Seems like a long time to go from a wheellock to a flintlock, but most R&D efforts would probably go towards magic in a culture where the mages are in charge.

Mr. Colbert nodded in approval. "Just so. A wedge of flint is held in the grip of a small hammer, which in turn is driven by a much simpler spring than the one that the wheellock uses. It strikes the steel frizzen, creating a shower of sparks at precisely the same instant as the flash pan is opened to receive them." Mr. Colbert smiled ruefully. "As I said, I've always loved the elegance of the wheellock, and I'll admit to having tinkered with the design in hopes of reintroducing them, but the flintlock is ultimately the superior mechanism. There's simply no better way to ignite the gunpowder in the flash pan."

Jason nodded back. "Thanks for the history lesson. You studied this all back when you were tinkering with wheellocks?"

"I did indeed. The Romalian empire could work marvels that we've lost the magic for after their collapse. I'd hoped that they might have possessed some relevant technique that I might reinvent, but I never discovered such. So, let us turn away from firearms-"

"Actually?" he interrupted. "I do think I know something that might replace the flintlock."

The professor blinked. "Truly? And what superior method do you propose to ignite the flash pan?"

"Uh, getting rid of the flash pan entirely. I mean, it kinda sounds like those would be vulnerable to rain, right?"

"Very much so, yes. Gunpowder will not ignite when wet, after all."

"Good. Get rid of the flash pan, and you don't have that problem. Uh, the thing is?"

"Yes?"

"What materials are guns made from?"

Mr. Colbert looked thoughtful. "It . . . it depends. Cannon are made from bronze, preferably, but may be made from iron if there is not enough bronze available. Ship muskets are almost always made from iron or cheap steel. Land guns are usually made from better steel, since-"

"Since they're already more expensive to make, got it. Okay. Iron sucks for guns, obviously. It's too brittle. Bronze is fine but not nearly as common as iron. And steel is expensive to make."

The professor nodded. "Ash-steel, made by commoners, is barely better than iron. An Earth mage of Line or better can make good steel if the ore is good, but any mage must be well-compensated."

"Yeah. Hey, do you guys have watermark steel?"

Mr. Colbert raised an eyebrow. "Yes. The ore for it is very rare, and only an Earth mage who's also a master steelsmith is trusted to forge it. And, of course, the best ennoblers will only forge and ennoble weapons using watermark steel."

Note to self: If we get the chance, look this shit up! "Okay. I may be able to help with that, eventually. There are ways to turn lower-grade ore into watermark-quality ore, but again, not my specialty. For now, I think you need an easy way to make good steel. Not watermark, just high-quality."

"Like the 'stainless steel' of the scissors you gave me?"

"Yeah, but it won't have the odd elements that the other teacher detected. Anyway, I'm not sure that's the right kind of steel for weapons. So here's the source, what we came up with a couple hundred years ago."

Mr. Colbert immediately picked up a quill.

"It's hard to heat up iron properly to turn it into steel, but a man named Bessemer found out that if you force air through the bottom of a mass of hot iron, it becomes much, much hotter. Molten, I think. Some of the stuff in air is exactly what iron needs to become good steel, and this process made it much more available."

"Earth, and Fire, and Air to enhance the Fire-" Mr. Colbert had a faraway look for a moment. "I could attempt such an experiment without much difficulty. And with plentiful good steel, well, Tristain presently lacks sufficient cannon to contest Albion's navy. If Reconquista succeed in the rebellion they've fomented against King James, it's only logical for them to strike at us next, once they're certain of the loyalty of their new fleet. Nor will they wish to permit the Academy our accustomed neutrality! But you think this steel is good enough to make cannon from?"

"Pretty sure, yeah."

"If it proves so, this will change matters."

"Yeah." Jason grimaced. "Until someone with Reconquista works out how to duplicate the process."

"That need not happen any time soon. But yes," Mr. Colbert agreed, "this will require no small degree of secrecy. Fortunately I do know how to be careful with military secrets."

"It'll still get out sooner or later. It always did, back home. Still, if the secret can be kept long enough, that might be enough. In any event, if you can figure out Bessemer steel, that stuff's strong enough that I can show you some ideas for guns that'll blow your mind."

"Truly?"

"Oh, yes. God made man and woman, but it was Samuel Colt and John Moses Browning who made them equal."

Mr. Colbert paused. "And how did they manage such a feat?"

Jason shrugged. "Men may be bigger, stronger, and tougher, but a woman who can send enough high-speed lead at her attacker has a pretty good chance of killing him, even if she misses once or twice in surprise at being assaulted."

"The innovations you have in mind improve the rate of fire?" The professor's eyes unfocused for a moment. "That could indeed swing the tide of battle in Tristain's favor. So, what is the secret of removing the flash pan?"

"Well, you know how there's a little tube from the flash pan to where the gunpowder is?"

"Yes."

"The next major thing was that we put a little blasting cap on the action, and the tube was extended slightly, so when the cap met the tube, it set it off and the sparks from the traveled down the tube into the gunpowder. No flash pan, so it's resistant to wet weather, and I'm pretty sure it's easier to load and more reliable than a flintlock. And if you want to improve the rate of fire?" Jason grinned. "How about guns that can be fired several times before they need to be reloaded?"

Mr. Colbert blinked. "I have heard tale of such crossbows from Germania, but they lack penetration against good armor. Are you speaking of bullets that can be fired at their full strength?"

"Yep!" Jason's grin grew a bit wider. "Thing is, some of it probably depends on having steel that's good enough, so we should probably wait until you've got the new steel figured out and the caplock mechanism designed. But then-"

The teacher grinned back. "But then, once you return, we shall see what our collaboration can produce."

"You and Miss Vallière are leaving?" Siesta asked, wide-eyed, as she arrived with Jason's breakfast the next morning.

"Well, hang on, how'd you-!" He sputtered. "Have you been reassigned?"

She nodded. "But nobody would tell me why, until I was chatting with Nellie. She's walking out with one of the stable hands, and she says he says Miss Vallière purchased tickets to Bruxelles." The maid sighed dolefully. "I thought maybe I'd done something wrong."

"No, no, you're fine," Jason said, trying to sound reassuring as he got up and relieved Siesta of his meal. "This is just, uh, noble business."

She sighed again, then nodded and looked up. "Do you mean 'royal' business? Does this have anything to do with Her Highness sneaking off to Miss Vallière's room twice when she visited?"

He sputtered again, this time without words.

"It does, doesn't it?!" Siesta exclaimed in delight. "Are you going to become a pirate, like Pierre?"

"I rather doubt it."

"But then, surely you're not going there to-" She clapped her hands to her face, taking on a gleefully scandalized look. "Is that why she was there? To see if you're to scale?"

The hell does she mean by-? Then Jason's jaw dropped open as he realized what Siesta was insinuating. "What?! No!"

"You aren't? I'm sorry."

"No! I . . . trust me, I have nothing to be ashamed of. But this isn't one of your books."

"Oh, but she still snuck off twice to meet you at night, and now you've been summoned to-"

"No, she met Louise, and she's asking Louise to-" He broke off. "Are you trying to trick me into fueling the local gossip?"

Siesta gave him an impish smile.

Jason sighed in exasperation, then froze. Wait, we can't exactly operate out of the palace. Nobody's going to tell Henrietta's closest friend if they're scheming to rise up in rebellion. So we need- "You know, we could use a place to stay in the capitol, if you know anyone who can be discreet."

Her eyes widened. "You are going to be like Pierre, in The Crimson River!"

"Can't say I've read that one."

"Ooh, you'll need costumes!"

"What?"

Siesta's look communicated very well that he was being silly. "If you're going to pretend to be commoners, like in the book, you can't dress like an Academy student and her outlandish foreigner familiar."

"Right, that kind of costume. Yeah, we probably need some commoner outfits."

"Exactly! And I know who you can stay with, too! My cousin Jessica works at the Charming Faerie Inn in Bruxelles. If I ask her to, she can get her father to let you stay there." She seemed to look off into the distance for a moment. "Or she could even let you work there, if you need to."

"Uh . . . can I get back to you on that? I mean, we're probably going to want the clothes, at least. Who do we need to pay for that?"

"I can arrange it," she assured him.

"Okay. Lemme talk to Louise, first. She's expecting another message, but we'll need to move fast after that. Uh, one other thing. Do you know anything that could be used to dye her roots another color? Make it seem like she dyes her hair pink?"

Siesta frowned. "That might be some tricky alchemy. I'll ask around while you talk to Miss Vallière?"

Jason nodded, and they finished breakfast together.

His little mistress had a decidedly disgruntled look on her face as she read Henrietta's followup letter, prompting him to ask the new difficulty was.

"Her Highness doesn't want me staying in the palace," Louise replied, sounding a bit sulky.

"Well, yeah. Obviously."

She looked up and shot him a glare. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Tiny little rosecrown with Vallière features suddenly shows up? You'd be revealed as her childhood friend in no time. Nobody would be willing to talk to you about anything potentially treasonous."

Louise's face scrunched up. "So where would we stay?"

"Siesta has relatives in the capitol. If we want it, she'll give us a letter of introduction."

"As long as-" She broke off and slowly nodded. "You saved her from Count Motte, and didn't try to . . . anyway, there's probably not a commoner in the Academy we could count on more for aid and discretion."

"Uh, yeah."

"The more I think about it, the cleverer that was," she went on. "We nobles may rule by right-"

Or might, and now is not the time to get into that.

"-but that doesn't always mean commoners like it. If you can get them to like and trust you as a person, and not just their leader? Well, Father says there's no noble more secure than one whose commoners will help him out when he's in trouble."

"That wasn't exactly on my mind, you know."

"Well, you are just a commoner yourself." She smiled at him fondly, and Jason did his best not to look annoyed. "Anyway, we likely can depend on her discretion. Now, for hair dye. I suppose we ought to spend an afternoon in Menenville. We'll need clothes, too."

"Actually, Siesta can provide those. Although we might need to pay her expenses, I'm not really sure." He shrugged at Louise's inquiring look. "Apparently Henrietta's visit-"

"You should use her title, you know. Especially since she's getting married, soon. The Germanians can be strict about titles."

"I'll try to remember that. Anyway, the servants noticed her visiting us, and now Siesta thinks this is all like one of her pirate books."

"It must be one I haven't read." Louise looked thoughtful. "Those were fun. Do you think she'd lend me some more?"

"Uh-" Jason's brain locked up as he stared at her.

She gave him a questioning look, then her eyes went wide and she blushed furiously. "Not those books! The ones about pirates."

"Uh-" he repeated. "You could ask her, I guess. After we get back, anyway. I don't think there's a lot of time to read right now."

"Probably not," Louise agreed, her cheeks still flushed. "Alright, go back to your maid. We'll need all of it, I think."

He nodded and fled.

"How do commoners wear this?" Louise complained as she twitched in her new outfit, standing in front of her vanity and looking at her reflection. The clothes that Siesta had come up with for her were simple, a plain full-length dress over an undyed blouse, but the cloth was considerably coarser that what nobles wore, and the outfit didn't include any of the cushioning underthings. The new hosiery was just as coarse as the rest of the outfit, and she was sans culottes, undergown, and brassiere (not that she particularly needed the latter, yet).

He shrugged. "Itchy, I take it?" His own outfit, consisting of an overlarge undyed shirt, loose knee-breeches, and long johns almost as tight as her hosiery, certainly itched, and he suppressed yet another impulse to scratch. If it wouldn't give us away, we'd say hell with it and at least bring some underwear!

"Yes. And so do these!" she exclaimed, turning towards him and pointing a finger at her eyes.

"Yeah, I-" he broke off, flushing.

"What?!"

"Sorry, I know it's 'cause they're irritated, but-" he looked down at a pale face now framed by light green hair, with large and watery green eyes (both courtesy of potions supplied by Siesta), and couldn't help but smile. "It's a very pretty look on you. You wear it well."

Louise frowned. "So you think I look better in green?"

Oh, come on! We phrased that to avoidthat bullshit! "More like I'm a sucker for someone looking up at me with enormous eyes," he replied, eyebrow raised. "I suppose blue eyes are my personal favorite, but I'm not going to get hung up on any one feature."

"Hmph." She turned back to the vanity. Then she turned her head back to look him up and down. "The hose looks . . . good on you," she admitted slowly, and wiggled again. "Anyway, how am I supposed to get used to this?"

"Heh. Dye your skin brown like tree-bark and you could be a forest spirit, in human clothes for the first time and wondering what the point is." He chuckled as Louise rolled her eyes in response. "Seriously, though? Okay, the coach is going to take, what, two days to get to the capitol?"

She nodded. "We'll leave in the morning, and get there two days later, around luncheon."

"Well then. That's how long you have to get used to it before you have to be able to act like you've worn clothes like that all your life."

In response, Louise just growled in frustration.

"Can I ask you to look after these?" Jason requested of Mr. Colbert, gesturing to his luggage.

"You aren't simply going to leave them in Miss Vallière's room?"

"I'm a little concerned about them," he admitted. "If nothing else I'd like to be confident that Kirche won't ruin anything of mine if she decides to sneak into Louise's room and mess with things."

"Ah," the professor acknowledged. "I suppose it would be difficult to obtain new clothing in the style of your homeland."

"Yeah, and some of the items, the ones that look the most unusual? Part of their functions are extraordinarily delicate, and it's all too easy to ruin them beyond repair if you don't know exactly what you're doing. So I need to leave them with someone who I can trust won't go messing with them, and has enough authority to keep them protected."

"I confess, your warning fills me with curiosity," Mr. Colbert said mildly. "But I'll do as you request. Although I request, in return, that you allow me the chance to satisfy some of that curiosity when you return."

Jason nodded. "I can do that."

"Then we have an agreement."

Jason had expected the coach to be small, cramped, and bumpy. Instead it turned out to be even larger than the coaches heading to Menenville.

"Of course it is," Louise replied when he asked about it, while they waited for driver to set out. "You only have to sit for a few hours when you're going to Menenville. We'll be traveling for days, so be need more space to move around in."

"Okay," he nodded. Might also be because this is the Academy line to the capitol, and expects to see noble use. "So, are the tickets something that commoners could afford?"

"I doubt it." She glanced up at him. "Were you worried I was going to make you walk alongside, or something?"

"No, just trying to figure out how it all works."

"Well, in this case it 'works' because I had to pay the coachman extra, since he didn't have anyone else who wanted to go to Bruxelles this week."

There was a very mild lurch, and the scenery outside began to move slowly.

Jason waited for the expected jolting, but it never began. He opened his mouth, and- Do we really have trouble believing that they came up with some sort of magical shock absorber? They have earth magic, they'd at least try to make things more pleasant.

"Here," Louise said, rummaging through her luggage and pulling out a book. "Siesta had some books she said no one will miss. I want you to read this one to me."

He took it dubiously, opened it up, and- Oh, good. The pirate, rather than the porn. "As you wish. 'Through moonless night, dark as an elf's soul, Pierre made his way, treading catlike across the . . .'"

She stayed awake through the first book, but mid-way through the second she leaned against him, and snoring lightly by the end of it. So he closed the book and lay his arm around her. As if in response, she sighed in her sleep and leaned in just a little bit more.

"How much sleep have you gotten, worrying about this?" he wondered in a low murmur. "Rest well, little mistress. You might need it."

He woke her up for lunch, of course, but Louise had a distinctly grumpy look on her face after they set out for the afternoon.

"So what's wrong, little mistress?" Jason finally asked.

She didn't respond for a moment, then admitted: "I'm used to flying with Mother, for long trips like this. And even if we were on horseback, at a trot we'd have covered at least three times the distance by now."

Can't exactly fault her. If our guess is right, Bruxelles would be less than an hour away by car. If we let ourself focus on that, we'd be even more impatient. "Hmm. Wouldn't we need remounts, if we were on horseback?"

"Of course, but the Crown maintains stables just for that. Not everyone can afford to fly."

"And couldn't that get noticed by someone, if we were constantly exchanging horses?"

"Yes, they might notice." Louise looked even grumpier. "It'd still be faster."

"Well, not much we can do about that now. Just gotta spend the time as best we can."

She gave him a long-suffering. "Doing what?"

"Practicing?"

"Risking explosions in here is not a good idea!" Louise sighed. "I already thought of that. And I didn't bring enough books to last the entire journey."

"Well then, what about training your familiar?"

"How? We've drilled the codes enough already."

"Ah, but we haven't used nearly all the combinations. And did you notice that we've only used sequences that are five elements long?"

She nodded. "It made sense, since it's less confusing that way."

"Yeah. And it also means we've got over two hundred combinations sitting there with the four-element sequences. Which is more than enough to cover letters, numbers, and punctuation."

"Letters?" Louise started to look interested.

"Mm-hmm. I still think the codes were a good idea, but they aren't flexible enough to convey details. I thought of this after we found out my translation auxilum is good enough to learn how to read with." Jason smiled wryly. "Which still feels odd from time to time. It's like I flex something in the back of my mind and what I see on paper . . . changes. Anyway, let's try something. Spell out something simple for me." He shifted his eyes to pay close attention to her mouth.

His little mistress shrugged. "L. E. G."

And now that he was paying close attention, it was rather obvious that her mouth wasn't quite moving in time with the sounds he was hearing. "L-e-g, for leg?"

She nodded. "So if we learn codes for the letters, we can spell things out for each other."

"Looks like. And it'll keep us busy for a little while."

Louise kept rubbing her forehead that night, as they prepared to go to bed, until Jason finally asked her what was wrong.

"It's these letter codes," she replied, rubbing harder. "Just before we stopped for the evening, it was starting to feel almost like you were slowly writing inside my head. It itches!"

"Oh." Maybe try to help her shift it to a different pseudo-sense? "You know, it doesn't feel like anything to me, but it's almost like I can see what you're sending." Which was damned nice of his auxilum, and he wasn't going to analyze the obvious paradox too closely, for fear of breaking something. "Maybe if you try to think of it as seeing what I'm writing, rather than feeling it, it won't itch?"

She looked dubious. "I'll try."

[t-h-i-s i-s t-o-o s-l-o-w][!] Louise complained the second afternoon.

[w-e w-i-l-l g-e-t f-a-s-t-e-r w-i-t-h p-r-a-c-t-i-c-e] Jason replied. "As it is, we're coming along nicely. Faster than I expected, to be honest." Of course, part of that was-

"That might be because I'm barely using the codes anymore," she admitted, looking the tiniest bit sheepish. "I think of them in my mind, and what they signify, but," she shrugged.

"But it's more subtle now than just pushing at each other?"

"Uh-huh."

"Me too, to be honest. I think we've managed to move forward a bit with my universal auxilia."

"Really?" Her expression focused inward, and Jason felt a tiny feather brush across the back of his mind. Then Louise's face cleared. "I still can't make you do anything."

He raised an eyebrow. [s-u-r-e y-o-u c-a-n].[a-l-l y-o-u h-a-v-e t-o d-o i-s a-s-k]

That got an eye-roll. "It's not the same, and you know it."

"Yeah, but you do realize that if our connection allowed you to control me, it'd probably also let me control you?"

"You said that, the second night, but it was just a guess. Other familiars don't control their masters."

"Other familiars aren't sapient."

"Hmph. This is still too slow."

"We will get faster. Experts at this kind of communication, back home, are very nearly as fast as two people talking to each other. So it's just a matter of practice."

"Even still." Louise took a deep breath. "I need a break from practicing. Why don't you give me that letter of introduction Siesta gave you?"

"Uh-" Unfortunately, there was no good reason to decline. So he dug it out and handed it over.

It didn't take very long before his little mistress set the letter down and looked back up at him. "She says my name is Athena, and I'm your sister."

"Er, yes." And if she'd gotten that far, then-

"And she claims to be your lover!"

"Calmly, little mistress, unless you want the driver to hear."

Louise growled, and turned back to the letter. Only to set it down again. "And a hot-headed mage of unseemly appetites is pursuing you, and trying to seduce you, making you sleep with her-!"

"Yeah, she found out about Kirche pretty easily. Hard to hide the exploded door."

His little mistress sat back. "Zerbst!?" She paused, then gave a false little laugh. "Yes, of course she was writing about Zerbst!"

Jason did his best to conceal his amusement, and she finished reading the letter without additional comment. "I've never heard of this Charming Faerie Inn, but she thinks I'd make a good Faerie? What does a Faerie do at an inn?"

"I don't know." And Siesta's expression when he'd asked, amused and mysterious before breaking into giggles, hadn't helped. "But an inn means travelers. And charming girls, faerie or not, make men talkative. And I'm pretty sure she wouldn't send you to someone who'd ask anything depraved of you. If for no other reason than that you have a wand and a decent aim with your explosions."

"So-?"

"So if it's the sort of thing that I'd let my little sister do to help with expenses, then it's that much easier to hide who we are, because we aren't having to pull money out of a stash a pair of commoners shouldn't have in order to pay for room and board. Also gives us a reason to act close, since if we say that I'm your familiar it's pretty much giving the game away who you are."

"Yes, but-" Louise grimaced and looked away. "Your sister?"

"Well, we're trying to conceal that you're noble, right? So retainer and bodyguard are both out. That leaves close relatives, and-" He paused, took a deep breath, made sure his voice wasn't about to crack, and took the plunge: "And lovers."

Louise's face whipped around to stare up at him as she blushed crimson, and just as quickly looked down. "Lovers?!" she squeaked.

Jason smiled. This could end up being a bit funny, as long as we don't say anything stupid. "Yeah. That might actually be a bit better. It'll be easier to keep other girls at arms length if I have a lover at hand to chase them off, rather than on the other end of some letters-"

"T-then, i-if it's the b-best t-thing to d-do-" Fortunately, her voice sounded incredibly nervous, rather than the flat almost-growl that went along with the stutter when she was incandescent with rage.

"Maybe. Although I'd have to explain that Siesta was kidding around. And we'd have to spend the rest of the trip kissing and stuff, so that we won't be nervous doing it around other people."

If anything, her blush intensified as Louise slowly lifted her head back up with what had to be the shiest expression he'd ever seen on her. "O-oh. T-then, w-we-"

He reached out and ruffled her hair affectionately. "You're right. All in all, we should probably stick to the sister thing. Things we already do, like hugging, that's all good for older brother stuff." Then he let his arm drop around her back to pull her in for a hug. She was stiff at first, but soon slumped, almost collapsing against him.

"Fine, I'll be your sister," she muttered, and was that some jealousy in her voice?

"Glad that's settled." Or not. Let's see if we can get away with messing with you just a bit more. He looked down at her. "You seem flushed. Are you all right?"

"I-I'm fine!"

"Uh-huh." He bent down and picked Louise up before she could react, depositing her sideways on his lap. "Here, try to get a nap. If you're still feeling out of sorts tonight, we'll see about maybe finding a medica."

She looked up at him with an unreadable expression, then sighed and settled in against his chest. Soon, her breathing slowed as she began to doze off again.

So she is flustered by us. And shy, instead of grossed out. Not anything like becoming lovers for real, but . . . maybe eventually.

"I have to admit, the city looks bigger than I expected." Jason noted as they drew closer to Bruxelles.

"What were you expecting?" Louise asked with an odd expression.

"Back before railroads, and the other technology we were developing? You couldn't build cities very big, unless they were on a coastline. But we didn't have magic, and I wasn't thinking about it too hard." He shrugged. "Sewage system?"

She nodded.

"Aqueducts leading from water sources known to be stable and enduring?"

Another nod.

"Maybe a river passing nearby, allowing food to be brought in from upland, and plenty of well-watered land nearby for farms?"

"Yes. And?"

"With enough water and enough food, you can support tens, or even hundreds of thousands of people in a city. And a good sewage system means you don't have massive plagues every few years. I was expecting a town of just a few thousand," he admitted, "but like I said, I didn't really think it through."

"And commoners have a good chance to grow up healthy in Bruxelles, thanks to Gangsamur," Louise added, a touch smugly. "We are the Blessed Realm of Water, after all."

"So, what, I'm about to enter a shining jewel of a city where everyone rides rainbow-farting unicorns?"

"Don't be absurd. It's just a good place to live." She frowned. "The Crown did have to seize all the land around the city about fifty years ago, though."

"Had to? Why?"

"There were refugees from the war, and they started building huts right outside the city walls, and-" The frown turned into a grimace. "Commoners, you know? They wouldn't clean up their trash, and befouled the land until Bruxelles had its first plague in decades. So now the Crown owns the land around the city, and the land around that is farmed and hunted, so there aren't any slum villages nearby."

"Oh. I see."

Bruxelles proved a study in contrasts. The main streets were perhaps a bit narrower that what he was used to, but they weren't supposed to be freeways, and they were clearly well-built, easily up to the standards of the Roman Empire back on Earth.

But the side-roads were quite a bit narrower, and the poorer areas that he could see into appeared quite crowded. Slum-like, even, from the ramshackle appearance of buildings and the sullen stares of those looking back.

But the carriage soon moved beyond all that, and soon stopped at a modest station. Nobody was waiting to board.

They probably need to do maintenance first. Maybe take passengers in a day or two.

Louise looked a little uncertain, almost lost, but her expression firmed up when she spotted a sign on a corner, and quickly led Jason to what looked like some sort of tax office. There she produced a Royal Warrant for 400 écu.

The clerk looked at the two of them with narrowed eyes, then grunted. "Four hundred écu it is. That'll be five hundred and eighty pennyweight in gold, and another four hundred pennyweight in silver." So saying, he counted out two pouches of coins and handed them over to Louise.

She thanked him, secured the pouches inside her dress where cut-purses couldn't easily reach, and led her familiar outside. He wasn't entirely sure what she was looking for as she led him deeper into the city, but she seemed to know where she was going.

Until she stopped short, with a disgusted expression.

"What's wrong?"

She didn't say anything, but just pointed down the street, where a pair of men were negotiating furiously.

[s-o-r-r-y][,][d-o-n-t k-n-o-w w-h-a-t t-h-e-y a-r-e t-a-l-k-i-n-g a-b-o-u-t]

"Horses, Jason."

"What?"

"The price that man wants for his horse is too high. We'd barely have any money left over."

"Oh. Yeah, a big purchase is probably something to wait on. Maybe we should go find the Inn, first? Get settled before making plans?"

Louise sighed. "I don't want to have to walk everywhere."

"Need me to carry you?"

She rolled her eyes. "Just pull out that letter and read the directions again."

The Charming Faerie Inn was a fairly large building, three stories tall. If it wasn't in the best part of town, well, it wasn't in the worst part of town, either. Although Jason didn't see any lamppost analogs on the streets, which was a little concerning.

"How do people get around at night?" he asked Louise as they stood there, looking at the building. "It's gotta be pretty dark when the moon isn't overhead."

"You use Light, of course," she replied, then paused. "I suppose for commoners, they'd have to carry around a nocta lux, if they don't just stay indoors."

"That like a lumen lapideus?"

Louise nodded. "Only not as bright, so it doesn't have to be Empowered as often."

They stood there, looking at the building for a bit longer.

"You know, little mistress, we should probably go in."

"I know."

Silence, and no movement.

"Feeling as nervous as I am?"

"I have nothing to be nervous about-!"

The door to the Inn opened, and out stepped a girl who could have easily been Siesta's sister. She had the same straight, black, and almost silky hair, the same almond eyes, the same buxom-

Jason quickly moved his gaze back up to eye-level, and resolved to keep it there.

The girl stopped and smiled at both of them. "I'm sorry, but the Charming Faerie Inn isn't open for luncheon. But if you come back this afternoon we do offer an early supper. I could make sure to keep a table empty for you, if you like."

As she spoke, Louise moved back behind her familiar, almost hiding behind him.

Batter up, then. "Uh, are you Jessica?"

She nodded, with a hint of caution. "Did you hear about us from a friend? If they're a regular-"

"No, um, your cousin Siesta gave us this letter to give to you." He held it out.

Jessica took it, opened it up, and read.

Then she squealed. "She's finally stepping out with someone?!" She paused long enough to look Jason up and down with a critical eye. "You are treating her well, right?"

"I, uh, I'm trying to do the best I can for her," he stammered, suddenly and unaccountably feeling a great deal more nervous.

"Hmm. Well, as long as you're trying your best." Jessica looked back down at the letter, then back up to Louise. Who edged just a little further behind Jason. "And this is your sister Athena? Oh, she's adorable!"

Jason did his absolute best not to laugh at the expression he could imagine 'Athena' fighting to suppress.

"Now, about this request for a job. I don't think we'd be looking for anyone right now, ordinarily. But Siesta's family, so of course we'll give it a try! Let me go get Scarron!" With that, she turned around and vanished into the Inn.

He then turned his head to look back at Louise, still half-hiding behind him, and raised an eyebrow. "Since when do you do shy?" he muttered quietly.

"I was very shy when I was a little girl, and I first met Hen- met my friend. But Mother wouldn't let me hide away, and I got over it."

"Well, you can still do it pretty convincingly. Nice act."

"It's not just . . . I mean, how is a commoner supposed to react to-" She cut off as Jessica came back outside, followed by a man.

And such a man! He stood nearly as tall as Jason, and his black hair was well-oiled, swept back in a style that looked like it needed an entire can of hairspray to keep in place. His mustache was very nearly as wide as his head, and likewise looked waxed into immobility. His head rested on broad shoulders, and he wore a velvet shirt that seemed like it was fighting a losing battle not to rip apart. (And the chest revealed by the open front was in considerably better shape than Jason's.) He swaggered so much that his hips were rocking back and forth, and as he came up to them they were hit by a wave of cloying perfume that was far too strong.

"This is her beau? Petite Siesta?" The man declaimed as Jason tried to recover from the apparent fact that Halkagenia took in refugees from the Rocky Horror Picture Show. "Ah, they grow up so fast! Come in, mon tigre, ma poupée! Come in!"

Familiar and master shared a stunned look as the man turned around and went inside. Then they shrugged almost simultaneously, and turned back to Jessica, who smiled encouragingly and led them in.

"Siesta did not mention Scarron," Jason murmured as they followed her inside.

She turned back to give him an impish smile. "Oh, no one can just tell you about Scarron. You have to experience him for yourself."

He snorted, and looked around at the room they'd just entered. There were several tables scattered around, with chairs and places for up to four people at each table. The back wall featured a bar lined with stools, and behind that space for (presumably) servers to prepare drinks. A staircase leading up dominated the right wall, and a door to a back room was behind the bar at the left corner. The colors and decorations were pastoral and bucolic, evoking a sense of almost being in a hidden forest glade.

"So, Jason, yes?"

"That's my name."

"What exactly can you do?" Jessica was still smiling, but now with an expectant air.

"Um, I can clean things. I'm not afraid of using elbow grease."

"Elbow grease?" Her lips quirked. "That's a new expression. I think I like it."

"Er, right. Anyway, I can cook, or at least the basics. I can follow a recipe, anyway, and I've been getting some extra training at the Academy on the weekends. Obviously I can help move heavier things around, and I'm not a professional carpenter, but I can probably do simple repairs, or at least help out with them.

"I can also read, write, and do basic math, but I doubt you guys need a complete stranger keeping your accounts."

"Non!" Scarron contradicted forcefully. "Siesta's beau is not a stranger to us!"

"But we can handle our accounts already," Jessica confirmed smoothly. "Well, if you understand the use of 'elbow grease', there are always dishes to be washed. And," her eyes twinkled as she glanced over at Scarron, "sometimes we might be able to use you out in the taproom. You two are nearly the same size, and in the right costumes-"

Jason's eyes grew wide, but his panicked response was cut off as he heard Louise giggling behind him. He glanced back at her to see her looking from him to Scarron and back, and as their eyes met, she started giggling even louder.

"Well, that's one voice of approval for the idea," Jessica said merrily. "Now, as for little Athena here-"

Louise's giggles cut off suddenly, as Scarron jumped in. "She is perfect! Ma petite fée, straight from the forest, ready to charm all who gaze on her! Très bien!"

His little mistress edged just a little further behind Jason.

Jessica nodded. "We weren't looking for a new faerie right now, but with that hair and those eyes . . . well, we do have one room available in the loft. If the two of you don't mind sharing a room as siblings-?"

He shrugged. "Shouldn't be a problem."

"Good! I'll lead the two of you upstairs, and you can get your things put away, and then we'll come down and see what we have in Athena's size."

She did not lead them up the stairs, but rather into the back room behind the bar, past the kitchen and over to a different flight of stairs, this one leading both up and down(presumably into a basement). They went up two stories, and at the top there was a narrow hallway with several doors. Jessica led them to the last door, and produced a large key to unlock it.

"You'll want this," she said, handing over the key to Jason. "We obviously don't permit customers into the back, but that doesn't stop everyone, and some people assume that an unlocked door means a faerie who doesn't know how to say 'no'."

He took the key, nodding seriously.

"As you can see, it's a bit dusty," Jessica continued, leading them inside to a narrow room, not even half the size of Louise's room back at the Academy, with a not-particularly large bed up against one wall. "We haven't used this room for a few months, so you'll want to clean it with your elbow grease. You shouldn't have to worry too much about vermin, though: We use a rat's bane and have it Empowered regularly." She looked Louise up and down with a measuring eye, then turned and left the room. "Come down to the basement when you're ready, and I should have some things for Athena to try on."

Jason and Louise waited until the door closed and they could hear her footsteps going down the stairs. Then they looked at each other.

"Scarron!" she exclaimed with a helpless giggle. "He's so-"

"I know." He shook his head. And the translation's hitting coming up with bits of French. How can he possibly be using French? "So he's peppering his Tristainian with bits of-"

"Of Gallian! Yes!" The giggle turned into flat-out laughter.

So the translation is trying to, what, say that the French are all . . . no, no, it's gotta be that he's trying to seem exotic and cultured. Maybe like a San Francisco maître d'. He shook his head again. Do we need brain-bleach? We might need brain-bleach.

"He's so old-fashioned!" Louise burst out, before dissolving into more helpless laughter.

What?! "What?"

"He's wearing the court fashion from Gallia from thirty years ago. From when Mother and Father got married!"

"Wait, so, once upon a time your dad wore something like that?" Well, if it's just fashion, maybe it's not so bad. Let's be honest, some of what men wear back home can be even more blatantly sexual.

Louise shook her head. "Father wouldn't have, no. He was an officer back then, you know."

"No, I didn't. Uh, anyway, are we going to be able to make this work?"

She smiled. "Of course! Didn't you hear Scarron say I was perfect?" She smirked. "Even pretending to be a commoner, my nobility shines through. Any place like this would be honored to let me stay here."

And what was there to say to that? "Okay. So let's put our stuff down and go see how we can make ourselves useful for our hosts."

The back stairs indeed led down to a basement, and just beyond a well-stocked pantry there was what Jason could only describe as a costume room.

"Ah, you're here!" Jessica smiled brightly at them. She was carrying a bundle of clothing, and used it to gesture to a side door. "Come in here, Athena. Let's see what colors suit you the best."

The two girls vanished into what was presumably a changing room, and he was left to sit down on a bench against one wall, and stare at the colorful outfits in front of him.

They weren't arrayed on humanoid models, so it took him a little while to be sure, but fairly soon it was apparent that the Faerie costumes covered rather less than what Louise was used to wearing at the Academy.

We saw her nude that first night. We see her nearly naked every night. So why does imagining our little mistress in one of these make us feel like a pervert?

To clear his head, he looked up at the walls, and for the first time he noticed the other costumes.

Oh, he thought, as his cheeks heated up, it's not just fashion.

You couldn't be a geek in America without running into people who had no concept of public/private boundaries when it came to discussing their kinks. Especially online. And with the widespread female taste for certain types of literature (even if they made him cringe), it had only made sense to learn why so many women found the idea of a dangerous predator to be thrilling, even if the reality would prove to be a nightmare.

But one quickly learned what not to go looking for, and up on the wall were an array of leather and velvet costumes straight out of the kind of image search that he had no intention of ever performing.

Please, please, please for the love of all that is holy don't let Scarron have a private dungeon. And if he does, don't let us ever find out about it!

"See anything you like?" Jessica's voice purred at his side, and his blush became even deeper as he jerked his head to stare at her.

"W-where's L- Athena?" he asked desperately, his voice cracking despite himself.

"Trying on the costume we settled on." She gave him another impish smile. "You won't be able to believe it when you see her. They'll love her in the taproom tonight."

That was a cold dash of water to his sensibilities. "They will?"

"Mm-hmm. And if you put on that costume," she pointed at one of the outfits which, if it concealed nothing else, at least had an executioner's hood, "you could go out there as well, and make sure nobody trifles with her."

"I-is that what Scarron does?" his voice cracked again, dammit.

Jessica nodded. "But can't you just imagine two Scarrons out there?"

Ah. We do need brain bleach. "I, uh, I think that's what going mad would feel like."

She laughed, lightly slapping his shoulder. "You're funny! But at least see what Athena's wearing, before you definitely say no."

"What she's-?"

But then the door to the changing room opened, and Louise stood there, framed by the light in the other room.

He felt his jaw drop, accompanied by more of Jessica's laughter.

"We wash everything before going to bed," Jessica said as she stationed Jason by the empty sink, in a little room off the side of the kitchen. "But the dishes will start piling up soon enough. Here's your pannus," she concluded, handing him a cloth before turning to Louise. "Now Athena, wait here until Scarron calls for you."

Louise nodded jerkily, and Jessica left to go to the front.

[w-h-a-t i-s a p-a-n-n-u-s][?] Jason sent.

[a-n e-m-u-n-d-a p-a-n-n-u-s i-s f-o-r w-a-s-h-i-n-g t-h-i-n-g-s] Louise sent back.

He nodded. They glanced at each other, and then just as quickly looked away, flushing.

He was still in his peasant garb. She, on the other hand, was dressed as a 'charming faerie', and her outfit was cut so as to suggest a naked wood sprite, its shreds of modesty preserved only by the remains of the flower that it had sprung from. And if one could but find the right angle (the shoulders and back, in particular, were conspicuous primarily by their absence), or if the sprite finished waking up with a stretch and a yawn . . .

Fortunately, as Jessica had demonstrated before leading them up the stairs, the correct angle for further peeping didn't actually exist, and the dress would not easily be removed despite its apparent fragility. But that didn't mean Jason hadn't actually considered, for at least a few moments, volunteering to put on one of Scarron's outfits and help play bouncer.

[a-r-e y-o-u g-o-i-n-g t-o b-e a-b-l-e t-o g-o o-u-t t-h-e-r-e][?]

[i-f t-h-e-y c-a-n d-o i-t][,][s-o c-a-n i]

There was a quick rumble of many light feet coming down the stairs, and a small horde of women raced by, each dressed about as much(or rather as little) as Louise. Fortunately none of them looked into the washroom where the two were waiting.

"Mes fées!" soon came Scarron's energetic call. Except suddenly he was using a falsetto to sound feminine. Sort of.

"Mi mademoiselle!" came the response from several actually feminine voices.

"What?" Jason whispered. "What the hell-?"

"What was your maid thinking?" Louise hissed.

"I don't know," he replied, shaking his head and still whispering.

"First, there is the news, so sad! That cafe with its horrible tea is still driving sales down! Très triste!" Then came a loud sniff.

"Don't cry, mi mademoiselle!" several of the girls called back.

"But if this goes on, perhaps not all of you are happy with me, mes fées. Perhaps you'd rather be tea girls, dancing for your customers in those-"

"Non!" shouted one of the girls, and other echoed her.

Tea, huh? Jason thought. Do they know how to do sweet tea? Haven't had a decent cup we flew out of Texas.

"That is précis, mes fées!" Scarron shouted above the girls' denials. "We will not wave the flag of surrender-!"

Aha! See, he isn't French.

"We will not lose to this horrid, newfangled tea! We will remember the code of the Charming Faeries! Un!"

"Service with a smile!" the girls yelled in unison.

"Duex!"

"A clean, sparkling atmosphere!"

"Trois!"

"Earn lots of tips!"

"Très," he replied, then paused. "Très!" Another pause, and then the girls joined with him, all yelling: "TRÉS BIEN!"

Jason shook his head. "Whatever motivates them, I guess."

"Am I supposed to be working for tips?" Louise wondered, whispering.

"Or seem like it, while you listen to what people say."

She nodded, and they both shut up as Scarron resumed:

"Second, I have a wonderful announcement to make! A new faerie will be joining us! She was pursued by a cruel, wicked mage, who sought to capture her and slake his wicked lusts-"

Louise flushed, then went pale. "T-that's n-not-"

"Shh, shh, he's just telling a story. You don't need to make anything explode right now!"

"-and now let me introduce her to you!"

Her eyes widened. "What else did he say about me!" she hissed.

"Dunno, but it's about time to get out there."

"But-!"

"The sprite of sweet springtime, the faerie of the forest, little Athena!"

"Go!" Jason whispered, and pushed Louise out of the washroom and into the kitchen. She kept going on unsteady feet, until she reached the taproom and stuck her head through.

"Welcome, Athena!" came the chorus of the other faeries. She pulled back abruptly, shaking her head.

"No, I can't-"

She cut off with a squawk as Jason, coming up behind her, stopped her retreat with one hand and gave her another push forward. [S-o-r-r-y]

The girls cheered as Louise almost flew out of the back and into the taproom.

"I-I-I-I'm Ath-th-thena," she said, likely sounding nervous to anyone who didn't know her well enough. "N-n-nice to m-meet y-you."

[Louise] he sent, using the older code for her name. [Don't give up, you'll get it done.]

[e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g w-i-l-l g-o b-o-o-m][!] Louise sent back as the girls swarmed her, exclaiming how adorable she was and how the customers would love her. [b-y m-y n-a-m-e i s-w-e-a-r i-t][!]

[y-o-u n-e-e-d-e-d t-o g-o] he pointed out.

[n-o m-e-r-c-y][!][w-i-l-l n-o-t s-p-a-r-e y-o-u][!]

But then the Charming Faerie Inn opened for business, and they had no more time to exchange thoughts.

The first dishes started coming in fairly quickly, mostly cups at first, and back on Earth Jason might have had trouble keeping up with them. But the magical dishrag he'd been given made cleaning things off a lot easier than it should have been.

Louise was too busy to provide any kind of mental commentary, but then there was a raised voice of protest, and a little while after that she marched into the back, spine ramrod stiff, grabbed a bottle of something and marched back out.

Well, she's not trying to destroy anything. Yet. And we haven't been pitched out the door. Yet. Maybe we can make this work after all.

"You've done this before, haven't you?" came Jessica's voice behind him as he finished the latest batch of dishes.

He turned around and cause her expression, slightly bemused. "Places like this, that serve food and drink? Even if they aren't dressing their people up in risque costumes, they still send the pretty people out to deal with customers. So naturally I was always in the back, making food and washing dishes."

"That's what you did before the Academy?"

"A couple times, yeah. Athena never worked with me, though."

"That is obvious."

Jason winced. "Is she-"

"Oh, she hasn't gone into hysterics. But we're going to need to talk after we close for the night."

He winced harder.

[Stop] he sent to Louise the next time she was in the back. [Come][To Me]

"What is it!" She growled, stomping over to him.

"You need to take a deep breath or ten, and calm down."

"I need to-!"

"If you want to keep this job, yes."

Louise looked up at him, hands twitching as if wanting to grasp a wand. "Why would I want that?"

"Because the sun hasn't even gone down, but y'all've already served a bunch of wine? And that loosens tongues pretty well. So unless we want to start over, looking for a better place, this is it."

She glared, but took several deep breaths (which looked good on her in the Dress That Almost Wasn't), and went back out to the front.

He had to pick up the pace as the dishes from supper started coming in, but the load was still manageable. As the wine continued to flow, the sounds from the front became more boisterous, more raucous, but for a while Louise managed to avoid trouble.

Then there was a loud shout of protest, followed by laughter, and shortly after that she stomped into the back to get a new wine bottle.

[Louise] Jason sent out.

[k-i-l-l y-o-u a-l-l][!] she sent back, not stopping as she headed back out into the taproom.

Yeah, that's a 'no' on the hidden depths. Dammit. We're not gonna last here, are we? Hell, we'll be lucky to last the night.

Finally, hours after the sun had set, the customers were sent on their way, the staff had headed up the stairs in back to wash up and go to bed, and the two newcomers were standing in front of Scarron and Jessica, the subjects of a rather uncomfortable scrutiny.

"You must be the two who saved Siesta from having her contract broken," the raven-haired faerie finally said.

"Uh-"

"Because you could be half-siblings," she continued as if Jason hadn't spoken, "if your mother was one of the peasants in your father's fief, but you," she now turned her attention to Louise, "have been wishing you could draw a wand since before the sun went down."

His little mistress looked defiant, but sagged when her familiar shot her a quelling look.

"Fortunately, everyone was too busy drinking and having fun teasing the new girl – yes, they were deliberately provoking you – to notice. Or comment, anyway. You wouldn't be the first noblewoman to disguise herself and slum it here for a few weeks."

"But the other nobles sought to have fun!" Scarron exclaimed. "They did not get angry with every lewd comment. They relished the attention!"

"How could they demean-!" Louise started before Jason put a hand on her shoulder.

"It would be useful if Athena could learn to pass as a commoner," he said. "But it's not vital. If it's too much trouble-"

"For Siesta's friends? Non!" Scarron smiled. "Ma petite fée, you must learn to not be so angry, oui? But it is the first day, and she is rare, the faerie who is not flustered by so much attention."

"Which is not to say that it can continue," Jessica pointed out. "Fighting with customers tends to drive them away, and with that heathen tea shop nearby-" she shook her head. "And you didn't get any tips, either. You're going to want more than just a room to stay in, you know."

Louise looked like she was sucking on a lemon, but held back whatever retort she wanted to make.

"Are you losing business because of us?" Jason asked. "If it can help, we can probably arrange for compensation."

"If we need to, we'll take that out of the tip money. But that depends on Athena. Are you willing to learn to be a properly charming faerie?"

Louise squeezed her eyes shut, then sighed. "Yes," she muttered. "I'll learn how to do it." She opened her eyes, and looked almost pleading. "But I don't know what to do!"

"The wide eyes, they are a good start, ma douce." Scarron gave her another smile. "Tomorrow, I will have my daughter provide you with suitable instruction, oui?"

"That's probably for the best," Jessica agreed. "Now, as for you, Jason?"

"Yes?"

"You do know how to apply your elbow grease, and I'll admit I wasn't quite expecting that."

"Really?"

"A half-noble tapped to be his little sister's secretary-tutor? Even if you don't have magic, if you showed enough promise as a scholar they'd have started teaching you early."

"Oh. Well, my parents, er, Mother and her husband, I mean," Jason smiled sheepishly. Hope this is supporting the cover story, rather than hurting it. "They thought it was wise for me to know how to work, so it wasn't just study."

"Ah." Jessica nodded. "Well, if business was good enough, we'd likely be willing to take you on permanently, but I'm sure that's not much compared to what you earn by taking care of Athena."

"Well . . . yeah." He shrugged. "Where my sister goes, I will follow."

"Right. So! Go get some sleep, and tomorrow you can help with stocking while Athena learns how to get along here." Jessica nodded to them, and she and Scarron swept away, heading presumably to their rooms.

Jason and Louise looked at each other for a moment, before making their way up to their new bedroom.

". . . so I spilled his glass on his lap. And then he demanded that I give him the rest mouth-to-mouth!" she recounted, as she carefully Scoured the dust away from their bed, a bit at a time so the explosions wouldn't damage the floor.

"What'd you do then?" he asked, stretching after having done what exercise he could. Their peasant nightclothes weren't any nicer than the daytime stuff, and he didn't want to get his nightshirt sweaty. "I mean, I know you ended up having to get a new bottle-"

"I poured what was left into my mouth, and when he leaned in to kiss me with those disgusting fish-lips he had, I spit it into his face." She pushed the dust into one corner. "His friends thought it was funny, at least."

"Yeah, I heard the laughter."

"But then he jumped up, and he looked like he was about to grab me, only suddenly Scarron was there, and-" Louise broke off, flushing. "He had the man back in his seat in short order, and told me to go fetch another bottle of wine, and then he served them. He even offered to do the mouth thing."

Jason snorted. "Did the customer take him up on it?"

"No! But it was funny to watch it happen," she allowed.

"Yeah. Kinda clever, if you think about it. The charming faeries are all girls, so that's what the clientele come for. And I'll bet Scarron's gotten pretty good at spotting people who'd also go for beefcake, so he'll have some other method for calming them down."

"What's beefcake?"

"Uh – sorry, colloquial term. Denotes a man who is attractive by way of muscularity. You know, what you want me to aspire to."

"That's not why I-" Louise froze, and after a moment a faint blush colored her cheeks. "I want you to look impressive," she finally said. "If that means you become . . . 'beefcake', I suppose that's fine too. Anyway, we need to get to bed."

"Yeah." Jason looked down at the floor. "Mind getting the space next to your bed? I can wipe it down myself, but if you're trying to get more practice-"

"No, no," she shook her head. "It's too late, and we're tired enough. I'll sleep next to the wall, and you sleep on the other side so you don't accidentally push me off."

"But-" his brain locked up as Louise got into bed.

Then she turned over and looked at him. "Don't be silly. There's only one bed, and after that night with Siesta, I think I can trust you not to do anything improper."

After a moment, he shrugged. "Okay. Didn't really look forward to the floor, I admit."

The bed was narrow enough that their faces were fairly close together once Jason lay down. He smiled. "So, is it too late to ask for some wine?"

Louise gave him a narrow look, eyes glinting. "All out. But I think I can work up a mouthful of spit."

He chuckled. "No need. Good night, little mistress."

"Good night, Jason." She tucked her wand under the pillow, and the Light they'd been using to see by flickered out.

He might have been doing harder work – maybe, perhaps – but dealing with customers had worn Louise out, and she was soon snoring lightly. And snuggled up against him, which was . . . not something he found he minded in the least.

Kinda wish we could protect you from this, little mistress, he thought as he tried to drift off. Knowing how to act like a commoner may be a good thing, but forcing you or anyone else into the service industry ought to be banned by the Geneva Convention. At least it'll only be for a few weeks, right?

Tomorrow, though, we need to make a serious start on cleaning. Is that guano we smell? Guess the flying mice aren't affected by the pest control they use here.

Louise looked at Jason with a slight hint of jealously as he dressed in his commoner's garb the next morning. When he was done, she looked down at her new faerie costume and shook her head. "No. I don't need to wear this if I'm just practicing. Help me put on the dress I wore on the coach."

He shrugged and nodded.

They went down the stairs together, and found Jessica out in the taproom, cleaning part of the counter.

"Oh, good," she said, looking up. "It's just around noon, so we should have plenty of time to go over the basics before we open."

"So, you are Scarron's daughter?" Jason asked. "That wasn't entirely clear, last night."

She shrugged. "I try not to emphasize it. It's all too easy to assume that I'm in charge of the faeries just because of who my father is."

"You aren't?"

"Oh, I am in charge, but if I couldn't do the job, and do it well, Father would find someone else to do it."

"Okay," Jason said. "Should I take over the cleaning, while you get started with Athena?"

"That'd be lovely, thank you." She handed him the rag, then pulled his little mistress over to a table and sat down. "The first thing you need to understand, Athena, is that our faeries are not for sale, nor are they to be hunted for sport."

Louise flushed.

"After all, a whorehouse in this part of Bruxelles would be shut down, and we would be forced to move into the slums. And frankly, the money you can make here is better than what a slum whore can expect."

"Truly?" she squeaked.

"I'm sure life can be more comfortable as the mistress of a rich noble," Jessica noted drily. "But in the slums a girl needs a protector, and he usually ends up with most of the money she earns. So, as one of the faeries myself, let me be clear that we do not want to go to the slums. We faeries do not open our legs for the customers, no matter how much we think they might tip. If you're frugal, you can save up enough for a decent dowry, at least by the standards of us commoners, but once a faerie starts stepping out with her sweetheart, the end of her career is in sight. Especially if she gets in the family way."

"That . . . won't be a problem for me," Louise said faintly.

"Good. The other part of that is that if you're giving favors to a customer, he's likely to get jealous when he sees you being nice to other customers. A little like how Jason, as your brother, wouldn't want to see any man taking advantage of you, but," here Jessica grimaced, "a jealous lover might want to punish you as well. And all he would have to do is smash a bottle of wine against his table to have what he'd need scar a faerie's face too badly to ever work again, at least not without the kind of healing we could never hope to afford. And that leads into something else: Our young, pretty faces are important for getting good tips. If you end up fighting with another faerie, you do not scratch at or otherwise mar each other's appearance."

Louise nodded, eyes wide.

"And fights do happen, from time to time. You'll learn quickly enough who gives the best tips, and everyone wants to serve the good tippers. If someone is having a bad night, and she blames her bad tips on someone else stealing the best customers, well," Jessica shrugged. "But we don't keep faeries around if they make a habit of picking fights with other faeries."

"What this all means, though, is that you are safe here. You will not be raped, or even seduced unless you break the rules and go off with the customer. Your virtue isn't expected to be for sale, and frankly my father and I are more careful about keeping our faeries safe and unmolested than half the girls who work here."

"Oh," Louise said, "But last night-"

"Letting the first night overwhelm you may seem mean-"

Yeah, pretty sure that counted as hazing, Jason thought as he worked his way down the counter.

"-but it also gives me a good idea of what I need to warn the new faerie about. The last time we hired a new faerie, I had to make it clear to her that we were serious about not being whores. But with you, I think it's more important to emphasize that your honor is not being threatened."

"But those men were-"

"Outrageous? Oh, yes. They'll gleefully trifle with you all night, and if you tease them back the right way they'll leave you more money in tips each night than a slum whore could hope to make spreading her legs or on her knees, before her 'protector' takes most of it away. But with the boundaries that Scarron enforces, it's nothing more than a game, and all the regulars know it."

"Oh," Louise said again.

"Question," Jason said, now about two thirds of the way through the count. "If this is truly that profitable for the faeries, why aren't the whores doing something similar?"

Jessica looked over at him. "Because the slums make you older, and worse, they make you harder. I've seen dozens of faeries come and go. Of the ones who took up whoring, three work as discreet courtesans. They are doing better than us faeries, financially. The rest eventually disappeared into the slums, and I pray to Brimir that some of them were sensible enough to return home to families able to care for them while they still could."

"Oh," his little mistress repeated, faintly.

"So, Athena," the head faerie continued, "please understand that this is a game, and like all games, it's set up so the house wins in the end. And you are now part of the house. We're going to teach you how to smile at a man and get him to give you his money for nothing in return, and send him home happy for it."

Louise looked like she was thinking it over, then smiled. "That would be nice to be able to do, to someone besides my father."

"A papa's girl, were you?" Jessica chuckled. "Speaking of which, you're going to need to practice a lot of these techniques. Scarron's a safe target, he's been practiced on by so many faeries by now that he's immune to just about all of it-"

Louise looked like she was trying not to mention a bad smell.

"-but his manner can be a little overwhelming, and he doesn't always have time to spare. But as your brother, Jason is also a safe target, and I'm sure you'll have a lot more time you can spend with him."

She nodded as Jason froze briefly. Our little mistressis going to be practicing what amount to seduction techniques on us? Oh, dear.

"Now, what you were doing last night actually works some of the time, because the men tend to see it as a challenge, and the right kind of man likes a challenge. But the kind of man who likes a sassy woman will also persist in trying to seduce you. They'll start off with wine in the mouth of their faerie, like last night, and try for more from there. Scarron doesn't like it when we get too sassy, but the best tips you'll ever see come from a man who's been well-sassed and is tipsy enough to laugh it off and want more."

"Wha- y-you mean m-men like that?" Louise sputtered.

Jason could hear the grin in Jessica's voice as he finished the counter and approached the two. "Jason," she called out, "would you say that Athena is cute when she's angry?"

He chuckled. "I don't think I'm supposed to admit that around her, but yeah." He held up the rag. "I think I've got the counter done. What's next?"

"Why don't you just stand there for a minute?" She suggested. "Athena, I'd like you to hit your brother in the chest as hard as you can."

Louise looked at Jessica with raised eyebrows, then looked over to Jason.

He shrugged. "Go ahead."

So she stood up, went over, and hit him.

"Now," Jessica said, "did that hurt?"

"A little?" he replied. "I mean, I could feel it, but – no. It barely even stung."

Louise pouted, and swung again.

"Okay, that was a little more noticeable, but-"

"But even if she was angry with you, and hit as hard as she could, it wouldn't be more that a nuisance, am I right?"

"Uh . . . yeah. Sorry, Athena."

"Well, it's not like I wanted to hurt you," his little mistress muttered. "If I did I'd get my wand."

"Yes, and speaking of which," Jessica interjected, "if someone draws a wand while you're serving them, if you grab the wand and hang on, it'll spoil their casting most of the time, and the rest of the time it'll spoil their aim. Don't try it unless you're already at their table when they draw, but it's a good trick to know for when it happens. Fortunately, it doesn't happen often.

"But back to Jason. Boys tussle with each other, growing up. They say it's fighting, but they never do the obvious things like clawing at each other's eyes, so I think it's more like a game to them."

"A test of strength, to see if the other boy's worth respecting," he offered. "That's why we become friends, afterward."

"I suppose that makes sense," Jessica allowed. "But it means most boys grow up a little bit tougher than girls. They'll hit each other as friends harder than we'll hit when we're angry." She paused. "It may be different with nobles, though."

"I'd need my wand to hurt Jason," Louise said. "That much is true."

"So if a drunk man likes sass," the head faerie continued, "he'll just laugh off a slap to the face. And if you're close enough, he can drag you onto his lap and start to take liberties." She grimaced. "And grabbing for you isn't just the men who like sass, either. That's any man drunk enough that he's not thinking."

"Speaking of which," Jason interrupted. "Sorry, you should know this. I get drunk easily. Best if I stay sober. Water and non-fermented juice." And since Kirche won't be here, that should keep us safe enough.

"I'll keep that in mind," Jessica responded. "Now, give me your hand."

"Uh, okay." He held it out for her.

"Athena, it's harder to hurt a man, it's very hard to hurt a man without injuring him, and we don't injure customers here. But if a man tries to grab at you, he's offering you his hand, and-"

"Hold on there," Jason tried to interrupt, not liking where this looked to be going.

"-if you press on his wrist right here-"

"Ah! SonovaBITCH!" He yanked his hand back.

"-they'll almost always do that." Jessica smirked. "What's the matter, big boy? I thought you could handle a bit of pain."

"Boyhood tussles don't involve joints," Jason pointed out in an aggrieved tone as he rubbed his wrist. "Hit the other guy, wrassle him down, make him cry uncle, sure. You show that you can dish out a licking, and take one if you have to, but the worst you go home with is a black eye and some bruising. Going for the joints can cripple someone. For life. That's for slum thugs and river rats, just like gouging out eyes and biting off ears. Or really unfair shit like ganging up on one guy, or pulling out a knife." He blinked, then reached up and scratched his head. "And thinkin' about it, maybe that's the real reason we're taught not to fight girls. For y'all, it's not a game, so you fight like it's for real."

Jessica's gave him an exasperated look. "You never thought of that before?"

He shrugged. "Girls are weird."

Louise was looking at him aghast. "You truly fought for fun?" she demanded, shaking her head and sending (temporarily) green locks bouncing.

"Fun?" he repeated. "Not so much. But for respect? To show that I wasn't a scaredy-cat, and that I wouldn't snitch to grownups? Sure." He shrugged. "I didn't go looking for fights, but I was big enough that sometimes someone wanted to fight to prove that they were tough enough to be respected."

"Men!"

"Boys, thank you. You'll notice I don't get into fights these days."

"Be that as it may," Jessica said firmly, "the wrist press is also something you should practice with Jason."

"If we must," he agreed, sighing. "And we can cover the other four places where a little bit of force goes a long way."

"What other places?" Louise asked nervously, while the head faerie offered an intrigued look.

"For quick, dirty fighting? What you don't do in a spar?" Bless you, Miss Congeniality, and wasn't it a surprise when we found out that her tips were authentic? "Stomp on someone's foot, between their toes and their heel. Hard to be a threat when you can't put weight on one of your feet. Hit someone just below the ribs, and if they weren't tensed up and ready for it they won't be able to breathe for several moments. Hit 'em hard enough to break their nose, and they won't be able to see with the way their eyes will be watering. And, uh, to introduce a man to the true meaning of pain, hit him good and hard in the, er, loins. I think a woman's bosom hurts like that too if you hit it, but I'm not sure."

"It does," Jessica admitted. "And those sound effective, but don't use them on our customers. If they need that much correction, let Scarron or Jason handle it. Now, do you understand what being sassy is? And why to use it, or not?"

Louise nodded.

"Good. It's a lot safer to just be flirty. Do you know how to flirt?"

She grimaced "I've . . . seen it done."

Yeah, after a year of watching Kirche? She's seen it done a lot.

"That's not the same as knowing how to do it," the head faerie observed. "So I'll give you some moves to practice each day. You want them to seem real when you use them on customers, they don't like it if they can tell you're faking.

"Now, being coy is a lot easier to do, so I'll start you practicing that first. You should be ready to try it out in a couple of days. The tips aren't nearly as good, but it'll give you enough time to practice being flirty before you switch to that."

Jessica then tapped her chin thoughtfully. "Some of the faeries specialize in seeming innocent, which lets them get away with some very bold double entendres and innuendos, but that requires even more practice than being a good flirt, and it doesn't work if you're embarrassed by what you're saying. So I don't think that would suit you.

"But there's one thing you already seem to know how to do, Athena."

"There is?" Louise asked in surprise.

"Yes, there is. You know how to act shy, if you want to. Like you did when you two came here."

"Oh."

"There's nothing strange about a new faerie being shy, you know. And it's better than sassing everyone and wishing your wand wasn't up in your bedroom."

Louise flushed. "I can be shy," she muttered. "But it's worse for tips, right?"

"If you keep it up," Jessica agreed. "But you might be surprised at what you could earn tonight, maybe even tomorrow. As short as you are, if you keep a wide-eyed, helpless expression on your face – like you need someone to come rescue you – some of our customers will eat that up. So that's what I'd recommend. Shy for now, coy after that, and flirty as soon as I decide you look convincing at it."

His little mistress nodded, albeit dubiously.

"I'll start showing you some coy moves while your brother helps Scarron do the stocking for tonight, but first, there's one more safety move I need to teach you. Jason, come sit down."

"Uh, okay."

"Now," Jessica said when he was seated, "I'm going to pretend to serve you a drink, and you need to try to grab me and pull me into your lap."

"What-?" he started to ask.

"You want him to WHAT?!" Louise demanded, loud enough to drown him out.

Jessica rolled her eyes. "Just try."

So he did. Hesitantly.

She glared down at him, not even even stepping out of the way as his hand gingerly nudged at her waist. "What is this nonsense? Anyone can grab for a faerie faster than that. You could be drunk and puking all over the floor and still grab harder than that. My grandmother could grab harder than that. Now try for real, this time."

So he grabbed a little harder. Only this time Jessica slipped out the way with a peculiar twist. "Did you see that, Athena?"

Louise nodded. "But I don't understand how-"

"That's what you're going to learn. Between this and the wrist-press you can avoid the usual trouble, without having to get Scarron involved and losing your tips. Try again, Jason."

After several demonstrations – and Jason had not once managed to pull the dark-eyed faerie onto his lap – Jessica declared that it was time to Athena to try it.

And Louise truly looked like she was trying to sidle-step as the other girl had, but Jason still managed to get his hand around her waist and pull her onto his lap.

"A good first try," Jessica allowed. "This time I'm going to do it slowly, and I want you to watch how I've got my feet when I start ducking out of the way."

His little mistress nodded.

A dozen unsuccessful evasions later, Jessica eyed Louise narrowly as the smaller girl sat 'helplessly trapped' in her familiar's lap.

"I'm not sure this is working," the head faerie mused. "Perhaps it's time to send your brother to do some stocking, and have Scarron come up here for you to practice with, Athena."

Green hair flew as she shot up and away from Jason. "I'll try harder!" she promised.

And she did.

Once his little mistress was doing better at evasion, Jessica shooed him on to go help Scarron with stocking what they expected to need that evening, while she worked with 'Athena' on her body language.

After he finished helping, he was headed upstairs to wash up when the head faerie noticed him from the taproom.

"Jason, come out here!" she called, and he shrugged and complied.

The reason was instantly clear: Louise stood there, feet together and hands clasped in front of her, head turned halfway to one side and watching him through wide eyes. "Hello, sir," she all-but-whispered, sounding fearful. "W-what would you l-like to order? Some wine?"

"I think she's got it," he responded, rubbing his chin. "I think she's got it!" The rain in Spain/Stays mainly-

"We had to adjust it a little, since she can't serve anyone if she's hiding behind you or Scarron all night." Jessica nodded firmly. "This will do for now, but make sure you use your free time to practice coy, so you're ready to switch to that in two days!"

Louise nodded back, and joined her familiar as he continued onward, up the back stairs to the first landing, where the utilities for the staff were all located.

"You okay?" he asked quietly, once he was pretty sure they were out of earshot of everyone.

"I am for now," Louise sighed as she splashed a bit of water on her face. "Ask me again tonight."

"Alright. Ready to find out what commoner toilets are like?"

"No." She looked frankly revolted at the thought, but went on: "I'll have to, though. Scour is still giving me explosions, so it isn't safe to use for field hygiene yet."

Then she looked a bit hopeful: "But they did have an emunda pannis for you to clean with, so perhaps-"

But her face fell again as they entered the lavatory. "No, it's just a guzunder with torchecul," she scowled, pinching her nose shut and gesturing with her wand towards the disdained shitter and the cloths kept next to it.

Jason pinched his nose shut as well as the smell hit him. "How cad you tell?" he asked.

"The sbell!" Louise declared. "Add the torchecul," she added, jabbing her wand again at the cloths. She quickly backed out and closed the door, sighing in relief as the worst of the bathroom fecal odor was blocked off. "A proper pot de chambre is ennobled with Scour and Flow so that you don't need to spend your time trying to wipe yourself clean." She shook her head. "I'm going to get plenty of practice with Freshen, at least."

He blinked. "Wait, the cloths aren't ennobled like the pannus? You'd think that'd be the obvious thing to do."

"No." She shook her head. "An emunda pannis is one of the least nobilia, and doesn't even need to be Empowered to maintain the dweomer. It looses things off of dishes, but that's all it does. I don't think an ennobled torchecul could tell the difference between your body and your filth, not the same way. And if it had to be Empowered, you'd be better off with a pot de chambre."

"Right." The coach into Bruxelles had employed the noble version, so this was an unwelcome introduction some of the realities of commoner life. "Well, not gonna be able to hold it much longer. You?"

Louise shook her head again. "But you can go first."

"Alright."

She kept fanning herself, even after they'd escaped the stink. "I didn't realize how hot Bruxelles would be, compared to the Academy!"

Jason emulated her, because moving all that stuff had been enough to get him sweating. "Well, it is a city. They're known for being a bit hotter than the country, what with the buildings and the people all crowded together. And you guys don't have air conditioning-"

"Air what?" she interrupted.

"Uh-" How exactly to explain? "An air conditioner is a device that moves heat from the inside of a building to the outside, leaving the building cooler."

"Oh." Louise waved her hand harder. "I need to practice Breeze, too. If we were home and I was this hot, we could at least get some ice from the icehouse and make sherbet!"

Icehouse? Where have we heard of . . . oh, right. Farmer Boy. "So where do you get the ice from?"

"Father or Mother makes it, usually during the winter when they aren't as likely to need their vis for emergencies."

"You mean with Arise?"

"Of course I mean with . . . oh!" Her eyes went wide.

"So we need to find a water-tight box or something, and you can make sure that our room, at least, stays cool while we're here. Although, don't you need to go get into costume soon?"

Louise nodded. "And I should practice being coy, if there's any time after that before we open."

"Yeah. Hey, I'll be back up in a little bit. Gotta talk to Scarron."

"Ah! The spirit of hard work, she has inflamed you?" The proprietor asked as Jason rejoined him.

"No, not quite. I had an idea, and I'm not sure if it would work, but I figured I ought to share it and let you decide."

"Oui?"

"Yeah. The taproom gets hot, especially when it's crowded, right?"

"Alas, it is so," Scarron agreed.

"Is there a way to find a hedge-mage with Water affinity?"

"It might be possible, oui. What do you have in mind, s'il vous plaît?"

"If someone can learn Arise, then they can make ice. The ice then cools everything as it melts. Set it up in a tray so that the melted water doesn't spill and make a mess everywhere, and you've got a way to cool off the Charming Faerie Inn as summer approaches." Jason shrugged. "If you can find someone, and if they don't charge too much."

"Oui, that would be très bien! But what of little Athena?"

"I'm sure she'd be willing to help while she's here," he agreed, "but we're not going to be around forever." Might even hurt business, if you get a few weeks of air conditioning and then stop.

"Oui, vérité." Scarron twisted one prong of his mustache. "I shall ask around. Sometimes a promising apprentice turns out to be flawed, oui? And in the meantime, we shall devise the proper containers." He clapped Jason on his back. "But now little Athena must have time to practice before we open, oui? Go!"

Louise smiled, ducking her head enough to look up at her familiar through her lashes. Then she straightened up. "How was that?"

"Charming without being blatant about it." He shrugged. "I think. You're probably gonna want to show all this to Jessica when we wake up tomorrow."

"Why?"

"Because I'm rather biased in your favor, 'Athena'. Or have you forgotten what I chose?"

Her cheeks went a little pink, but she ducked her head and smiled again.

"Ah, now that was a good example. Well done."

"I wasn't-" Louise broke off and shook herself. "It's about time to go down, isn't it?"

"Yeah. Let's get you dressed – well, in costume anyway – and head down with the other faeries."

The evening went by without any of the incidents that had marked the previous night: When Louise found herself particularly riled up by her customers, she was able to take advantage of her 'shy' persona to retreat into the washroom to calm down. Nonetheless it was a long slog, and by the end of the night she sagged against Jason as Jessica took about half of her tips to pay for wasted wine and such from the first night.

"I can't believe they'd tip me when I ran away from them!" she moaned, still leaning into him.

"It's why acting shy can work for a night or two," the head faerie noted practically. "The novelty will wear off soon, you won't be brand new anymore, but they are having fun teasing you. And tonight you didn't have anyone demand that you replace anything, so you won't need to worry about making up for anything tomorrow."

Louise sat on their bed that evening as Jason exercised, staring down at the handful of silver in her hand.

"Little mistress?" he asked once he finished, sitting down next to her. "Something wrong?"

"This isn't what I imagined doing," she admitted. "I thought I'd be . . . chatting with dashing nobles and overhearing masked conspirators whisper to each other. Things like that. Instead I'm learning how to smile at men who would grab me and have their way with me, if they thought they could get away with it. And this room is small and stuffy." She leaned against him. "At least I've got you with me."

Yeah. Speaking of men who'd grab you and have their way with you, if we could. "Uh, thanks? I mean, I'm happy to be here for you."

"You are?" She looked up at him.

His felt his cheeks heating up. "Well, yeah." Why does it feel so embarrassing to say that out loud?

"Then," she reached up to put her hand on his neck, and lifted her head a little more. "Jason?"

His heart was suddenly racing as her hand pulled his head down towards her a little. "Yes, Louise?"

"Would you . . ." Her eyes filled his vision, her head had to be less than six inches from his own- ". . . come into the taproom tomorrow night? I'd feel safer."

It felt like a bucket of cold water had been thrown over him, and he jerked back. "Dressed, dressed up like Scarron, you mean?"

She nodded.

"Louise-"

"I told you, it'd make me feel safer."

"Yes, but in those outfits he has-"

"Do you think I like wearing mine?"

"Er, no, but-"

"Besides, you said on the coach that all I had to do was ask."

Jason sagged. Dammit. "You realize that I won't look half so good as you do, with all my fat hanging out on display."

"That just means I'll have more to hide behind. And I'll be glad of it, the way some of the customers act!"

"Alright. I-I'll talk to Scarron tomorrow. Maybe he'll have something that makes me look intimidating rather than flabby."

"Thank you!" she threw her arms around him and squeezed hard.

He hugged her back, then bent down and kissed the top of her head. "We should probably get to bed. Then some practice tomorrow, and I'll go talk to him. Alright?"

Louise nodded happily, and once they were in bed she again quickly fell asleep.

You really are a fool, he thought to himself. Even if she's coming to care for us, she's not going to just kiss us out of the blue some day, not without some sort of figleaf. Hell, there's probably going to be at least a few weeks of, 'no, no matter how I feel, a noble may not defile herself so'. Dammit, there's gotta be a way for a plucky young commoner to at least join the nouveau riche.

"A costume? But here I thought you were too shy, oui?" Scarron's smile was disturbingly broad as he considered the request.

"Yeah, and honestly I still am, but, Athena would feel better if I'm out there tonight. So, well," Jason waved his hand at the leather on the wall. "Gonna need something."

"Ah, the pleading look, the flutter of her eyes . . . très bien that you are not one of her customers, mon ami!" The proprietor laughed. "Your purse would not survive the night, oui?"

Jason flushed. "It's not . . . oh, dammit, she might have been trying that out, when she asked me. Sneaky girl. But anyway, I'm still gonna do it. It's just that, well," he gripped his belly and shook it. "If I'm out there showing off the flab, I won't have the same presence that you do. So, maybe something where I'm a little more covered?"

"Oui, oui, we shall devise something. Now, can you growl? Intimidate?"

"Uh, how's this?" He roughened his voice, and started singing: "'Yo, ho, yo, ho, a pirate's life for me!/We pillage we plunder we rifle we loot!/Drink up, me hearties, yo-ho!/We kidnap and ravage and-'"

Scarron, chuckling, held up a hand to stop the singing. "A pirate? Like the bold Pierre, oui? You enjoyed the books, as a child?"

"Uh, I've read a few of them."

"Then let us assemble the costume! For a man of our height, who wishes to be covered, the Black Brute, oui?" He went over to the 'debauched dungeon torturer' custume – well, they were pretty much all 'debauched' something-or-others – and pulled down the executioner's hood.

". . . Sure."

"Très bien! A true pirate needs his wand or his blade, oui? But the Black Brute, who fought only with his hands-" The older man stepped over to another costume, gave it a considering look, shook his head and moved on to the next. "Much better for our little paradise, oui? No drawing of steel or wood, s'il vous plaît." He stopped and sighed. "Très triste that Pierre is almost forgotten, these past years. So few will appreciate our efforts!"

"You can still find those books at the Academy," Jason noted. "Although they're getting older and starting to fall apart."

"Oui. All common things fade, in time."

"Yeah. Sic mundi gloria transit, and all that."

"Ah, you have the old Romalian, oui?"

Wait, did it just translate Latin as-? "A little bit, maybe?" Or a lot, since Louise probably knows it enough to get by.

"Très bien! Now, let us assemble for you the most perfect Brute costume!"

"Right. By the way, I've never been a bouncer before, so I don't actually know how I'm supposed to go about this tonight."

"Worry not! I shall provide instruction and watch over you, oui?" Scarron grinned. "And with the well-known lustiness of sailors, you shall cut quite the intimidating figure!"

"Lusty-?" Jason rolled his eyes. "Arr! Methinks it be time to plunder booty!"

Scarron laughed, and stepped over to the next costume.

[d-i-d y-o-u f-i-n-d a c-o-s-t-u-m-e][?] Louise sent a little while later.

[Yes] Jason sent back. [Come here][d-o-w-n t-o t-h-e b-a-s-e-m-e-n-t]

He was fussing at the outfit, trying to find the most comfortable fit, when his little mistress entered the fitting room.

She looked him up and down, then put her hands on her hips. "You're letting him wear an awful lot of clothing," she told Scarron tartly.

"But ma douce, the customers, they do not come to see moi, or even your brother! They come for the faeries."

Louise pouted, but didn't argue.

"Besides," he added in a stage whisper. "He will not be so happy tonight. The taproom is very warm, oui? Better to wear less, than sweat more."

Note to self: Prioritize rudimentary AC ASAP.

"Now I must go prepare for tonight," Scarron continued. "A good time to practice the Black Brute, oui?"

After he left, she looked up at Jason. "Who's the Black Brute?"

"Someone in the same books as Pierre the Pirate. You didn't read about him?"

Louise shook her head. "I haven't read that many of those books."

A girlish voice came from up the stairs. "What are-?" The speaker broke off as one of the faeries descended and entered the costume room. She was a few inches taller than his little mistress, probably about the same height as Siesta and Jessica, but her hair was dark green, and she was rather more stoutly built.

"Mi mademoiselle is in the taproom," she stated, looking Jason up and down. "Who are . . . are you the one who was washing dishes yesterday? Athena's half-brother?"

He raised the executioner's hood. "Yeah, that's me."

"You're going out in the taproom tonight?" The faerie pouted. "I'm cooking tonight, and that means I'll miss all the fun, won't I?"

"I'm sure there are people who'll enjoy it," Jason replied with a grimace. "So, some of you cook?"

She nodded and smiled. "We rotate through the kitchen. Working here is the best thing that ever happened to me: We get to save up our own dowries and we learn all the tricks of cooking!" she concluded, almost gushing

"Is that important?" Louise broke in, sounding a little suspicious as she stepped over next to her familiar. "Cooking doesn't seem that hard."

The other faerie laughed politely.

"Well it's obviously elaborate for nobles," his little mistress backtracked impatiently, "but Jason can make a meal in no time at all, with just a breadroll and a few other things!"

"A sandwich is just one kind of meal," he pointed out, ruffling Louise's hair for a moment until she ducked away. "And yes, it's very simple, as long as you already have the ingredients sliced and prepared. Which means someone's been waving around a sharp knife, so you already need someone who knows what they're doing unless you're fine with the occasional severed finger in your sandwich."

That got a genuine titter out of the genuinely-verdetressed girl. Well, unless she's dyeing her hair too.

"But the girls here can tell you as well as I can," he went on, "that real cooking isn't that simple. And rotating through the kitchen? I expect you girls swap recipes, right?"

The faerie nodded. "Sometimes recipes are considered traditional family secrets, but we try to help each other learn to be the best cooks we can, otherwise. I'm Margaux, by the way." She dipped down into an abbreviated curtsey.

"You don't need to do that," Louise said, a bit irritably. "I'm supposed to be a commoner, while I'm here."

"Well, pardon me for saying so, Miss Athena, but you may need a little more practice."

"I know." His little mistress sighed. "And everyone seems to know about cooking, so . . . I still don't understand. What makes cooking so hard?"

"Well, cooking has it's own specialized jargon, just like magic," Jason pointed out, "so a beginner can think they're following a recipe perfectly, and still ruin a meal."

Margaux nodded. "If you're lucky, you can put it into a pot and boil everything down, but don't expect your husband to thank you for it, if that's all you can feed him. Have a cousin, his marriage was broken off because his wife couldn't cook and couldn't learn, and he counts himself lucky for escaping before she was with child. And that's leaving aside the shame any woman ought to feel, having to treat her husband so poorly.

"That's why it's good to swap recipes, too. The more you know, and the more you know how to make do with substitutes, the more meals you can offer your man, so he doesn't tire of your table." She smiled again. "I've been here for almost two years, and I've a decent dowry saved up, but I'm going to stay here until I've learned everything I can."

"And there's the safety aspect to consider," Jason added. "I mentioned knives, but cooking involves fire, too, and I know you remember the lectures on respecting fire."

"Yes, and I'm going to learn Extinguish as soon as I can," Louise muttered. "But for you commoners, can't you just keep a bucket of water nearby?"

The two commoners shared a glance.

"No," Jason said slowly, "that's a bad idea in the kitchen. If things go wrong, it's not hard to end up with a fire that will only get worse if you try to put it out with water."

"Now I know you're teasing me," Louise declared. "That can't be true."

"What can't be true?" Jessica's voice came up from behind them, and they turned in unison to face her.

"They're trying to scare me with a wild tale of cooks summoning up demon fires that can't be put out," his little mistress declared. "That's silly! Chefs don't have magic!"

"We're not talking about magic," Jason corrected, rolling his eyes while Margaux bit her lip. Or even chlorine trifluoride, if you want a real demon fire! "Hazards of cooking. Grease fire."

"Oh." Jessica nodded. "Yes, Athena, a grease fire is a real danger, and if you pour water on it, you just spread flaming grease all over the kitchen. If you get one, the thing to do is smother it with a pot lid. Although I think you nobles have a spell that works just as well on grease fires as it does on regular fires."

"Yes, Extinguish." Louise paused. "Is cooking truly that dangerous, then?"

"If you don't know enough to be careful, and if enough things go wrong." The head faerie nodded again. "The easiest way to learn is as a small child, helping grownups and watching how they do things. But not everyone can do that, especially those of us who grow up in the city, so here at the Inn we make sure we all know how to do it. You're expected to help in the kitchen at least one day a week. We'll start that next week, and I'll have your day be when I'm in the kitchen, so I can make sure you don't get into any trouble."

"Cooking." Louise shook her head. "If Jason and I aren't here for that long, I may not have time to learn enough to be helpful."

Jessica's smile was firm. "Well, you'll at least learn enough to appreciate the effort a chef puts in, making sure you eat like a proper noble."

"Matey, best be calmin' down before I lay ye out and swab yer deck," Jason growled in the ear of yet another customer who'd been getting a little too fresh with one of the faeries.

The customer let out a panicked yelp, the other men at the table started laughing, and the faerie quickly made her escape.

A few minutes later, he was in the back, hood off and sipping from a flagon of water that Jessica had fortified with a bit of honey, once she'd finished laughing at his pirate voice. With all the growling that he'd done so far, he needed it.

"It's Jason, right?" came a voice behind him. He turned around and beheld the faerie that he'd just rescued. She was short, maybe a couple inches taller than Louise, with dirty blonde hair and blue eyes, and while she wasn't quite as round as Margaux – who was still easily pretty enough to be a faerie at the Inn – she was definitely more developed than his little mistress.

"I wanted to thank you," the blonde faerie said, stepping over and giving him a quick hug. (Fortunately, he didn't drop his flagon in surprise.) "That man has been trying to seduce me for over a month, and he's gotten good at noticing when Scarron's occupied. Having two of you out here is wonderful!" She smiled up at him and gave an extra squeeze, before letting go. "I'm Elena."

"Nice to meet you," Jason replied, before taking another swallow from his flagon. "Glad I could help. Um, if he's a problem, isn't there a way to get him disinvited?"

"He says it's just a misunderstanding, and he does behave when someone's watching. Plus he tips well, so the other faeries wouldn't want him to go." She shook her head. "They can have him."

"Well, again, glad I could help."

"But how do you appear like that, out of thin air? None of us saw you coming!"

He shrugged. "You were focused on your customer, and he was focused on you, and his friends were focused on the two of you. It was just a matter of walking softly, that's all." And maybe being all in black helped out too, in the dim and flickering lights that were used in the taproom after sunset.

"Well, it's working." Elena giggled. "And everyone's spooked because of it, too. I heard someone claiming you were a demon pirate from Rub' al Kali, bound to a bottle and traded to Scarron. And that there's nothing but hot fire behind your mask, and that's why your voice is so crackly."

"Well, that's just someone being silly," Jason chuckled. "If I couldn't take that hood off, how would I drink this stuff?" he asked rhetorically, holding up his flagon in a sort of salute.

She nodded. "And you obviously aren't an orc, hiding your face to avoid being hunted down."

He chuckled again. "No, not an orc, either. Have they come up with any other good ones?"

"No, just speculation about where you could be from. An Albionese deserter, or a Gallian Royal torturer, or-"

"Boring stuff, then."

She giggled in agreement.

Jason tilted his head. "So no one's wondered if I stole treasure from a temple to heathen gods, and was cursed to walk the world, caught halfway between life and death, until I recovered every last bit of it and returned it to its rightful owners?"

Elena's eyes widened, and she shook her head.

"Or that I'm on the crew of a ghost ship, harvesting the drowned dead for a demon goddess of the sea, and I'm hunting down a man who tried to escape before finishing out his term of service?"

She shook her head again.

"What about-"

"What's this about ghost ships?" Margaux asked, coming up behind them.

"Oh, just giving Elena a few more rumors to share, since people are already making up stories about me," Jason replied, turning to face the verdetress.

"You are having fun out there, aren't you?" she lamented. "And I'm missing it!"

"Heh." He finished off the flagon. "And I need to get back out there. Don't worry, I'm sure there'll be other chances to watch it all."

"Settle down, ye scurvy dog, 'fore I show ye why it's called the jolly roger!" If there was perhaps a bit more force to Jason's snarl, well, Louise had fumbled the twist-and-evade about five seconds prior.

Her captor flinched, and she jumped out of his lap with alacrity. [Gratitude][!] she sent as she fled to the back.

He moseyed over to the backroom himself a few minutes later, to find her sipping from a glass with fingers that trembled ever so slightly.

"Got her some wine to settle her nerves," Margaux commented, then handed him a refilled flagon. "Here's more of that honey draught."

"Thank you," he replied. "You okay, Athena?"

"I will be." She took another sip of wine. "Being grabbed like that is . . . you don't have to worry about that at the Academy."

"If you're noble, you mean," Jason pointed out.

"The maids aren't attacked at meals," she responded, a little tartly. "And if one of them were as forward and flirty as the faeries here, well, she'd know what she was inviting." Louise sighed. "I wish I could have my wand with me."

"Get a little better at this and you probably can. Although it'd be awkward if you drew it to deal with customers. Better to let me or Scarron take care of it."

"Yes, but I'm getting tired of running."

"Aren't you switching over to coy tomorrow?"

"I am, but that last man-" She glanced over to Margaux. "You know how we learn to avoid getting pulled into laps?"

The other faerie nodded. Then her eyes widened. "Did you mess that up?"

"I stepped wrong." Louise nodded back, then her mouth twisted, and she took a large swallow of her wine. "This time, I wasn't pretending when I ran away. I don't like being that scared."

"Huh." Jason looked down at his flagon. "And here I thought I didn't much like what I was doing tonight."

"You're not having fun anymore?" Margaux asked.

"Well, I was happy to hear you snarling behind that man," Louise said. "And that was funny. Threatening him with a jolly roger?"

"Yeah. And that's what it's been all night, threatening people with buggery and the lash to get them to calm down. It's, well, tiresome."

"I'm sorry to hear that," Jessica's voice came from behind them. They turned to see her standing in the doorway to the taproom. She walked over to Jason, then looked him up and down. "We're going to need to turn this into something you can put on at a moment's notice, so you can come out into the taproom when you're needed. Scarron's been very grateful for the help in keeping order."

"Does he really seem to appear out of thin air?" Margaux asked.

"With how he moves so quietly in the taproom?" The head faerie smiled. "I'm sure he does."

"How do you do that, anyway?" Louise asked. "I didn't even have time to reassure myself that you would save me, and suddenly there you were! And Scarron does it too, and the two of you are both so tall-"

"Ah, ah!" the proprietor said in a falsetto as he passed the doorway. "Call me mi mademoiselle~!"

Jason winced, before shaking his head. "He's better at it than I am. Or at least he can step quietly at full speed. I have to slow down a bit to get it to work."

"But how do you and . . . mi mademoiselle do it?" his little mistress pressed.

"Dunno where he learned it. I had to learn it when I hit 12 and started to grow into a man. The awkward years, they call it, and I got a double dose, being so big. I didn't like crashing into stuff, so I learned how to move carefully. My steps are louder if I'm walking at a full pace, but if I'm just, say, moving around a room, I don't make a lot of noise." He shrugged. "Not every big man bothers to learn."

"Oh." Louise looked to Jessica next. "I'm getting tired of acting shy all the time. Can you check my coy approach after we close?"

The head faerie nodded. "But for now, it's time for you to get back out there. I'll send Jason back out in a little bit."

His little mistress grimaced, but drank the rest of her wine, set the cup down, and marched back out.

He took another swallow from his throat juice. "So, I've been looking for trouble spots, rather than keeping an eye just on Athena. How is she doing?"

"Better than I thought she might, after that first night," Jessica allowed. "And she's starting to realize that a girl doesn't need an ample bosom to be alluring, even if it helps."

"Doesn't she find that disturbing, that the customers are looking at her as, um-?"

The raven-haired faerie laughed. "I'm sure she does! That doesn't mean she doesn't like the thought of being desirable."

Jason opened his mouth, then paused. "That doesn't logically follow."

Margaux giggled. "Sure it does. She'll want her husband, whoever she marries, to look to her and not some other woman. Better to be every man's first hope, rather than be a girl they have to settle for."

"Exactly," Jessica agreed. "Now, time for you to get back out there."

Female reasoning. Girls are weird. Jason shook his head, and headed out.

New Terms: 'Torchecul' isn't new, it's just French for arse-wipe. Or 'arsewisp', which is an authentic 17th Century English term for toilet paper.

'Guzunder' is likewise slang for 'chamber pot'. Mages get to enjoy the version that doesn't stink up the place, commoners generally don't. Which may explain why Louise thinks most commoner men smell like shit.

Magic Items: Nocta lux – lesser version of lumen lapideus, that doesn't need to be Empowered nearly as often. Probably the difference between finding your way in the dark and having enough light to read by.

Rat's bane – some sort of protection against vermin.

Emunda pannus – magical dishrag that cleans absurdly well.

Pot de chambre – French for chamber pot, used here for toilet nobilia that use magical cleaning so that you don't have to wipe afterward or put up with the smell.

New Spells: Shield – Line of Air. Praestum. Protects the caster by protecting them from a blow. At least twice, if one wishes to be accepted as a mage-knight.

Ignite Gunpowder – the obvious counter to firearms in any setting where magic-users can create sparks at long range. A version is available at every shape, from cantrip on up to Square.