An American Geek in a Halkeginian Court

by Inner Legions

An American commits cultural appropriation against a hapless Japanese youth. Typical, just typical. WARNING: CONTAINS RAW, GRAPHIC KIPLING. May only be suitable for mature readers.

16. Rumors of War II

Rumors of War, Part II

"Where's the nearest birdhouse?" Louise asked Jessica the next day, as soon as she and Jason had made their way downstairs.

"Tired of us already?" the head faerie asked lightly.

"No, no, I just thought it would be best to let someone know I'm safe, that's all. They won't send anyone to drag me back to the Academy."

"If you say so." Jessica lifted up one arm to point. "If you go two streets past the teashop, you'll find one. They have good rates, too, and they'll hold a reply for you for up to a week, or even deliver it for an additional fee."

"Thank you!" And with that Louise dragged Jason out the door.

[a-r-e w-e c-o-n-t-a-c-t-i-n-g h-e-r h-i-g-h-n-e-s-s o-r t-h-e a-c-a-d-e-m-y][?] he sent as they walked down the street in the indicated direction.

[h-e-r h-i-g-h-n-e-s-s] Louise replied. "I'll be coy tonight, so I'll be able to listen more, so I need to let her know that I've found a place."

"Makes sense."

Then, as they passed the teashop, Jason gave it a lingering look.

"What's wrong?"

He shrugged. "Just wondering if the tea is anything like the tea back home. I kinda miss it."

Louise looked thoughtful. "If it's not too expensive, I can buy you some to try it."

"No, we don't want to waste mission money-"

"I'm not wasting money!" she protested. "I get tips, remember?"

"Oh. Right. Okay."

"Besides," she reached out and grabbed his arm, leaning in and almost cuddling against it for a moment, "you did rescue me last night. A cup of tea is nothing."

He chuckled. [a-l-r-i-g-h-t][,][l-i-t-t-l-e m-i-s-t-r-e-s-s]

She smiled, then suddenly frowned. "That still takes too long, thinking at each other."

"Well, we'll only get faster through practice."

"I suppose. there's the birdhouse, come on!" She shifted her grip from his arm to his hand, and pulled him with all the force she could manage. (Which, in the absence of magic, wasn't a whole lot.)

Their destination was proved to be a small building attached to an aviary. There was a distinct odor inside the birdhouse, likely of the birds themselves and their droppings, and Jason did his best not to wrinkle his nose as Louise wrote out her message on some bark paper that the birdhouse provided.
Oddly enough, while the words were intelligible the sentences his little mistress wrote down made no sense whatsoever.

Eh, ask her about it when she's done, and we're alone.

"And where would you like the bird sent?" the attendant asked. "We have linked birdhouses all over Bruxelles, even one at the palace-"

"Is it fine if I handle that?" Louise interrupted to ask.

The attendant's eyebrows rose up. "You can supply the Name yourself?"

She hesitated, then nodded.

"Very well, Miss." He bowed. "I'll see myself out, then, if you wish discretion."

Jason waited until the man left. "So he must be a hedge-mage?"

Louise shook her head. "All he needs is the right nobilum." She went over to one of the birds and, drawing her wand, began whispering to it. The bird – too big to be a sparrow, not an owl or an eagle, and that was about the limit of his practical ornithology – cocked its head, listening, before accepting her rolled-up message and taking off. The attendant returned, she handed him several small coins of silver and copper, and the two were soon retracing their steps towards the Inn.

"Couldn't help but notice we were the only customers," Jason observed. "How do they stay in business?"

"I'm sure they get more customers later," Louise replied. "Aren't commoners busy working during the day?"

"Hmm. True enough." And this isn't the slums, but it ain't a noble neighborhood, either. [c-a-n i a-s-k w-h-a-t y-o-u t-o-l-d h-e-n-r-i-e-t-t-a][?] "That was a cipher, I'm assuming."

She nodded, and a distinct tint of nostalgia entered her voice. "When we were learning Old Romalian, we made up our own cypher using Tristainian words that rhymed with the Old Romalian words, or at least sounded alike. So we could talk with each other even when grownups were around." Louise shrugged. "I told her we'd found a place, we were doing well, and I'd contact her again this weekend."

She stopped abruptly, and Jason nearly tripped over his next step trying to stop with her. At his inquiring look she nodded to the tea shop that they were now next to. [D-i-d y-o-u s-t-i-l-l w-a-n-t t-o t-r-y s-o-m-e t-e-a][?]

"Oh, right, yes. Thanks for reminding me."

The interior of the tea shop was dim compared to the full light of day outside, but as Jason's eyes adjusted the proprietor approached them. "I am sorry," the man said, his voice heavily accented but nonetheless easy enough to follow. "We do not expect customers this soon after luncheon. There is only a pot of black tea available right now."

Black tea? Is the translation getting it right? Please let it be right. "A cup of black tea would be perfect, actually."

"Very well, sir." The proprietor bowed, left, and soon returned with a pair of steaming earthenware cups on a small tray. He led the two of them to a small table where he sat the tray down. "Please be careful, the tea is hot."

Jason nodded and sat down. He picked up one of the cups and took a careful sip. Then he set the cup down, smiling. "It is black tea."

"Is it good?" Louise asked. She picked up her cup, smelled it, and eyed it dubiously.

"It's popular where I'm from," he replied, taking another sip. "You won't know if you like it until you try it. But you probably want to blow on the top a bit, he wasn't kidding about it being hot."

She gave the tea another dubious look, but then blew on it and took a tiny sip. Her eyes widened a little as she swished it around her mouth before swallowing. "That is hot," she agreed. "And bitter."

"Black tea has a sharp flavor," Jason agreed. "I like it, though."

There was quiet as they sipped their way to the bottom of their cups.

After paying and leaving, Louise had a pensive expression on her face. "Should we be spending time there? Scarron says it's competition, and-"

"You're probably right," he sighed. "Pity. Hmm. I wonder if we could find the supplier? A block or two of tea leaves shouldn't be too expensive, and then I could make my own."

"You can?"

"With black tea? Sure. You don't need to keep the water from boiling while you brew it, so it's easier than other teas. And letting it steep longer just means you have a slightly stronger tea."

"That was plenty strong already," Louise muttered.

"Heh. Tell you what, if we can find a supply of tea leaves I'll see if I can't reinvent sweet black tea."

"Sweet would be better." She looked up at him as they approached the Inn. "How would you do that?"

"I dunno. Honey for sweetness, and maybe something to smooth out the bitterness. And of course you could provide the ice."

"Ice?"

"Yeah, it's best served cold."

"What's best served cold?" Jessica asked from the doorway.

"Uh-" Think fast! "Just about anything, really. Like how the nobles enjoy sherbet in summer." They entered the Inn, one after another. "With a source of ice, you can chill drinks before you serve them, make ice-cream, even put cubes of ice into drinks to keep them cool for longer." He paused. "If, that is, you can trust the water in town. Uh, can you?"

"Have you gotten sick drinking the water here?" she asked. "This is Bruxelles. Maybe other cities have befouled water, but we don't."

"Ah. Good point."

"Anyway, those are ambitious ideas. Do you even know how to make ice-cream?"

Bless you, Boy Scouts. "I've made it a few times. If you want, I can write down what I remember of the recipe."

Jessica shot him a slightly bemused look. "Growing up on a fiefdom, I suppose you might have had the opportunity to learn, at that. For now, let's just see what Athena can do to make the kitchen a little less warm tonight."

"Just the kitchen?" Louise asked as they all headed there.

"Oui, we must see if the idea is a good one!" Scarron exclaimed, from where he was nudging a large pan, filled with water, under the table that the faeries used for chopping, mixing, and so on. "The ice, will she last long enough? If so, we must contrive to hide bowls in the taproom, oui?"

The 'incognito' noblewoman shrugged. "Are you ready?"

"Oui, oui."

She drew her wand, pointed it at the water in the pan, and cast Arise. The water rippled, and a chunk of ice rose to the surface, bobbing up and down.

Louise glared at the chunk of ice. "I can do better than that!" she declared, and this time cast the spell nearly at a shout. The water frosted over all at once, then rose up above the lip of the pan and burst, scattering shards of ice all over the kitchen.

She stared at the mess. "T-that, that wasn't s-supposed-"

"Non, non, it is fine, ma petite fée," Scarron reassured her. "We can sweep it up-"

"No!" she snapped. "It's my mess, and I'll clean it up!"

With that she began casting Levitate, and a small group of ice shards rose into the air and made their way back into the pan.

"Let's sweep it all in one pile, at least," Jason suggested, and she nodded grudgingly.

She didn't say anything else until all the ice was back into the pan, and the room was already starting to cool off a bit. "I'm sorry," she apologized in a mutter. "It's still hard, and . . ."

"That's not a surprise," Jessica eventually stated in a gentle tone. "Siesta's mentioned that classes for you nobles start at the beginning of Spring, so that's not very long for . . . First Form, is that the correct term? The students who haven't summoned their familiars yet?"

Louise looked pained, then lowered her head to stare at the tray of ice. "T-that's, that's right. But my parents are . . . I should be better at this!"

"Not everyone can be good at everything," the head faerie continued in the same gentle voice. Then she continued a bit more cheerfully. "But if you're serious about wanting to be better, you can make all the ice you like while you're at the Inn. I can already tell that working in the kitchen will be easier with the ice cooling it off."

His little mistress smiled up gratefully at the other faerie through her green hair. "You don't mind that I can do magic?" she asked in a surprisingly shy voice.

"I'd love to be able to do it myself," Jessica acknowledged, a wistful look crossing her face for a moment. "I think most of us commoners would, even if it was only enough to become a hedge-mage. Or have children who might be able to learn magic, that'd be almost as good." She smiled. "But a girl can do worse than build up a sound dowry, learn her way around a kitchen, and get experience in managing overgrown babies, so the Inn's still a good place for us."

She then looked over at her father. "Jason says he's helped make ice cream before, and thinks it might be a good idea to put ice in the drinks to cool them off."

"Chilled beer and wine?" Scarron frowned consideringly. "After the heat of day, oui, that might be welcome."

"Have it be like a drink from a mountain stream, since you've got the whole faerie theme," Jason suggested. "Speaking of cold beverages, you wouldn't happen to know where the tea shop gets their tea from, would you?"

"Oui, there is a market with wares from Rub' al Khali," Scarron replied. "Why, s'il vous plaît?"

"Brew up some tea, but add honey and . . . I dunno, mint or lemon. Maybe a few other things. Then chill it down. It should be smooth and sweet and not at all like copying a competitor who's been stealing business."

The proprietor gave him a narrow look for his smartassery. "This I do not like so much. We do not serve anything so foreign as tea here."

"Ah, but everyone knows that tea is hot and bitter. This would be sweet, smooth, and by Athena's blessing, cold." Jason nodded to Louise. "If you think you can make enough ice."

She smiled. "Arise is more draining than most cantrips, but I'll be fine."

"So tonight, maybe figure out how to pack ice around the casks of beer and wine without making a mess, and how about I experiment with tea on my own time? If I come up with something good, you can pass judgment then."

---

Packing ice around the casks – which required no small number of bowls set to catch the melt-water – proved its worth when the customers started coming in, and were soon ordering drink after cold, refreshing drink. The volume of which was why Jason was not all that surprised when Louise sent [Trouble][Urgent] his way.

He swung the revised Brute outfit on and dashed out the washroom, through the kitchen, and into the taproom to see two men taking swings at each other, despite Scarron holding them apart. So he hurried over to the quarreling pair and grabbed the closest from behind, locking the brawler's arms up in a wrestling hold (hopefully, one of the ones that wasn't kayfabe). "Belay that, ye bilge rat!" he snarled.

"Let go of me!" the man yelled back, trying (and thankfully!) failing to break free. "That bitch is supposed to be serving me!"

Jason glanced over at the pair of faeries who were standing there, watching. One of them, he hadn't caught her name yet, but the other was Elena, face pale and eyes wide.

Right. This guy again. He made eye contact with Scarron, and jerked his head toward the entrance. The proprietor nodded, and they hustled their protesting prisoners out of the Inn and cast them into the street.

"The air, she is too warm tonight, oui?" Scarron commented as he and Jason stared down at the offenders. "Best to go home and settle down, oui?"

The men glared, but both slunk away rather than try to force their way into the Inn again.

"A sad business, oui?" Scarron shook his head as they made their way back inside. "Elena? Nicole? To the kitchen, s'il vous plaît."

Jason took a stand just outside the kitchen, where he could keep an eye on the taproom but still eavesdrop.

"Mes fées, we do not want the customers fighting over us, non?" Scarron began, his voice not particularly loud but still audible, at least from where Jason was standing.

"I haven't had anything to do with Gaston Aubin for a month," came Elena's voice, "not since he started having those crazy ideas-"

"And if you hadn't been stepping out with him," by elimination, this voice had to belong to Nicole, "he wouldn't have any-"

"I did not!" the blonde faerie hissed. "I don't care what lies he's telling, I was just being nice so he'd tip better-"

"We're all nice so they'll tip better. Even the noble girl's learning how! But Aubin doesn't think he has a claim on any of the rest of us, he doesn't get jealous when we smile at other men-"

"Mes fées, s'il vous plaît, calm yourselves!" Scarron broke in. "You have not sought Mssr. Aubin out, Elena?"

"He thinks he can control me," she declared through what was obviously gritted teeth. "I don't want anything to do with him!"

"Then we will make sure he does not trouble you again, oui? Now run along, there are tips to be made!"

The two faeries emerged from the kitchen, and Jason watched them go back to their customers.

"Listening in?" He jumped as Scarron's voice was suddenly right behind him. "Not the best of habits, mon ami."

Jason turned to look the older man in the eye and shrugged. "Just trying to learn what serious trouble looks like, since I'm helping out."

"Oui, that is good to know."

"So, Elena – was she breaking the rules, like Jessica warned Athena not to do?"

Scarron shrugged back. "Who can say? If she was, she has clearly soured on Mssr. Aubin, and hopefully will take that as a lesson."

Jason nodded. "Right. Back to dishes, I guess."

---

[h-e-a-r-d a-n-y-t-h-i-n-g i-n-t-e-r-e-s-t-i-n-g][?] he asked Louise a little while later.

[No] she sent back. [j-u-s-t l-e-w-d b-r-a-g-s]

"Damn," he muttered. "Would have been nice and encouraging if she'd found something right away." [e-a-r-l-y d-a-y-s y-e-t].[k-e-e-p a-t i-t]

[i k-n-o-w]

---

Jason was still musing on the issue when Margaux came into the washroom to get some clean dishes.

"I'm out in the taproom tonight." She smiled up at him with a hopeful expression. "Do you have any new rumors for me to spread?"

"No, I-" He froze for a moment. "Actually, yes, I have thought of something: Tell them you heard I was an Albion naval officer, and that I was cursed by a Reconquista priest to drown if I ever took ship again."

"Ooooh!" she shivered. "That's good. Thank you!" Then she grabbed her dishes and was gone.

[s-t-a-r-t-e-d n-e-w r-u-m-o-r] he sent. [m-a-y-b-e t-h-a-t w-i-l-l h-e-l-p]

---

"It helped, yes," Louise told him, once they were alone in their bedroom. "People started arguing over whether or not Reconquista could curse someone like that, and then whether they would, and then they got to talking about whether it was right for Reconquista to try to overthrow the Blessed Realms." She scowled. "As if a bunch of commoners slinking around in the slums is proof that her Highness doesn't deserve to ascend to the throne!"

"Okay." Jason rubbed his chin. "So why are they slinking around?"

"Because apparently the slums are crowded, and there isn't work for all of them." She scowled again. "And it's not like anyone would want to hire an obvious slum rat."

"Yeah, I've seen that problem before. Bravos unable to find honest work, because everything about them screams lawbreaker."

"And some say it's Queen Marianne's fault! It sickened me, to hear that kind of talk." Louise paused, then shook herself. "I don't want to think about it anymore tonight. Let's practice with the letters, instead."

"Alright."

---

"The chilled drinks were very popular," Jessica opened with, as soon as the two came downstairs into the kitchen the next day. "So how do we make ice cream? Only nobles can afford it, so I never learned any recipes."

"We're going to need a lot of ice to freeze the cream," Louise said, and took a deep breath. "That's good. I can use the practice."

"Or we can just add rock salt," Jason pointed out, eyebrow raised. He'd ransacked his brain while waiting to fall asleep the previous night, and was pretty sure he remembered what to do. "You don't need nearly as much ice, that way."

"You can?" his little mistress responded in a surprised tone. Then she glanced over at Jessica and hastily added: "I never bothered to see how it was done, I just assumed-" She broke off and shrugged.

"We'll want a big earthenware pot to hold the ice, and a smaller metal pot inside it to hold the cream while it's freezing. It'll needs to be constantly stirred. A crank works well, or Athena can practice Flow, or we can all just take turns stirring."

Jessica looked surprised. "You mean to say that ice cream doesn't have any ice in it? It's just frozen cream?"

Louise nodded. "If it has ice in it, it's sherbet. That's much easier to make. At home I had permission to have it prepared for me whenever I felt like, but only Mother and Father could decide when we would have ice cream." [b-e-c-a-u-s-e w-e n-e-v-e-r u-s-e-d r-o-c-k s-a-l-t]

[o-h].[n-o-w y-o-u d-o] "Of course, that's the last step to ice cream. The first part is to make the cream itself."

"I think I know how to make cream," Jessica said, eyebrow raised. "Or does it need to be special?"

"Well," he shrugged, "there's a couple of different options. You can cook the cream long enough to dissolve honey in it, or you can make custard. When you're done with that, you want to cool it off. If you made custard, stir in some heavy cream at that point, but either way, once the cream is cool but before it's frozen, that's when you add whatever flavor you're going to add."

"Flavor?" the head faerie repeated.

"Yeah, like lemon juice, or mint extract, or chopped up fresh fruit, or whatever you feel is best." Jason paused. "But not beer or wine, 'cause it's harder to freeze something with alcohol in it and we don't need the extra difficulty for our first try. And that's about it, I'm afraid. I don't remember the exact recipes for the cream, but if you already know how to make that . . . do you want to give it a shot today? If we get started cooking now, we should have some ready to serve tonight." He paused again. "If it turns out to be palatable. This is something of an experiment."

"Mint and cream? That might be interesting," Jessica allowed, eyes narrowing in thought. "And I know a Romalian merchant who'll have dried lemons, so we can make lemon custard. A little expensive this time of year, but frozen lemon custard with extra cream . . . I think it might work, if we don't have to charge too much." She cupped her hands to her mouth. "Margaux!"

A few minutes later, the zaftig faerie came down the stairs, rubbing her eyes sleepily. "Yes, Jessica?"

"I need you to go visit Signor Ampelio. I'll make a list of what to buy, but we need it now." She paused, then added, "and not too expensive."

Margaux did a double-take, then shook her head. "If you want me to haggle that man down in a hurry, I'm going to need to promise free meals for him, and for his nephews."

Jessica grimaced. "I thought so. Do it. The faeries who have to serve him will have their tips made up."

The other faerie still looked dubious. "You know the younger nephew just turned fifteen, right?"

That got a further wince from Jessica. "No, I hadn't been keeping track. Fine, they'll have their tips made up double."

"Double?" Margaux smiled faintly. "For double, I might serve him myself."

She waited while the senior faerie quickly wrote out a list of things to buy, then headed out at a jaunty pace.

Jessica watched her leave, dark eyes scowling after her.

Eventually, Jason dared to open his mouth. "Um, what just happened?"

The head faerie shook herself. "Signor Ampelio is Romalian. An exemplar of Romalians, even. Especially what they're like when they manage to get away from the watchful eye of their priests."

"Oh," Louise said in a tone of repulsed enlightenment.

"And his nephews are worse, especially here at the Inn." For a moment, Jessica actually looked haunted. "Oh, Brimir, little Davide is going to be impossible until he finds someone willing to hold her nose long enough to bed him."

The hell? "Uh-"

"You don't happen to have a spell to clean things, do you?" she asked his little mistress urgently. "Even a pannus has trouble getting rid of the smell of the half-rotten olive oil they use when they don't feel like bathing."

"I'm working on Scour and Freshen," Louise admitted, "but right now they're more likely to break one of your chairs than clean it."

"We'll risk it," Jessica immediately replied, apparently needing no time to weigh her options. "And you are going to be in the kitchen when they come in for their meal."

"I don't think I'd want to serve them," his little mistress replied.

"Yes, but you're the only faerie as young as Davide, so if he's feeling nervous about seducing an older woman . . . no."

"Question," Jason broke in. "I thought we didn't let faeries get seduced?"

"We don't," Jessica agreed, "but that doesn't mean they don't think we 'licentious' foreigners spread our legs for nothing more than a wink, a gap-toothed smile, and a pinch on the bottom." She rolled her eyes. "With that attitude, he should have set up shop in Gallia, but maybe he did and they already ran him off."

Jason nodded helplessly. Okay, is this normal pre-global national semi-racism, or do Gallians just have different enough customs to cause that much friction? Or is this merchant just a piss-poor ambassador of his people?

"Who do I approach to handle them? Margaux can handle Ampelio, he may like her figure but she's too fast for him to grab . . . Elena can't stand any of them, I doubt she'd do it even for double tips. Felicia might be willing. Nicole won't like it, but it'll add to her dowry . . ." Jessica trailed off. "Well, I'll figure that out later. Let's get started with the cream and custard." She looked over to Jason. "This had better work out. I didn't think we'd need to butter up any Romalians when we started this."

He nodded again.

---

Ice cream was hardly the only thing that needed to be prepared that afternoon, so Jason and Louise did their best to avoid disrupting the organized chaos in the kitchen as they nurtured the pots, one full of mint-flavored, honey sweetened heavy cream and the other of lemon custard, towards the desired frozen state.

Finally, about an hour out from opening, he set down the ladle he'd been using to stir. "I think we're done," he said, rubbing his shoulder. "Can I get a small dish, and maybe a butter knife?" Thinking about it, spoons had to have been invented before ice-cream became popular. Still seems weird how the presence of magic kept that from happening here.

Louise nodded, and Levitated both over to him. He ladled a small portion of the mint ice-cream into the dish, and looking around . . . ah, there was Jessica!
He walked over and presented it to her. "Here you go. Time to decide if it'll work out or not."

She took the dish and the knife from him, then took a small bite. Her eyes widened slightly as she swirled the ice-cream around it her mouth, and swallowed.
Everyone had stopped and was watching, waiting for the verdict.

She walked over to where Louise still stood over the lemon custard ice-cream. "Some of the lemon, if you would."

Louise nodded, and a small blob of the requested ice cream was Levitated to join the dab of mint ice-cream already in the dish, and soon the head faerie had sampled it as well.

After Jessica had swallowed the second bite of ice-cream, she turned to the rest of the faeries, still waiting for her judgment.

"Well, this is one more reason for nobles to prize ice," she finally said, smiling. "It won't be cheap, but I want you all to try just a little bit, so you can tell our customers how good ice-cream is when they're wondering if they should buy any."

The other faeries smiled back, and pressed forward, eager for a bemused Louise to serve them their samples.

"So it is good?" Jason asked quietly, making his way back over to his little mistress.

Jessica's smile turned a bit wry. "Are you saying you had doubts?"

"No, I figured you'd use good recipes. But it's the first time I've been the one supervising the process, rather than helping out under someone else's direction. I'm glad I didn't forget anything important."

Louise, having finished serving the other faeries, smacked her lips thoughtfully as she tasted her own sample. "It's not quite the same as what we make back home, but that's probably just a different recipe. It's still very tasty," she assured Jessica.

The head faerie nodded. "I think . . . we'll get started on another batch now. If we don't sell it all, you can make enough ice to keep it frozen overnight, correct?"

Louise nodded back.

"Good." She looked down at the lemon custard ice cream and grimaced. "I thought it would prove more difficult than this. If I'd realized just how much of the secret was in having enough ice . . . do you think a black currant preserve would be a good alternative to lemon?"

Jason and Louise looked at each other. Then they looked back at Jessica.

"It should work," he agreed.

"It'll be tart, though," his little mistress pointed out.

"And tartness is what makes lemon custard good," Jessica replied. "We'll use up the rest of the dried lemons tonight, and tomorrow, if the black currant doesn't work, we'll at least have the mint."

"Sounds like a plan."

"So." She smiled at Jason. "When are you going to try your ice-cream? You haven't had any, yet."

"Mysterious pirates don't need ice cream to growl at people." He shrugged. "Besides, I'm trying to get into shape. No desserts for me."

"That's just silly. Everyone else got a little-" Jessica broke off as Louise rolled her eyes and Levitated a bit of mint ice-cream to smear all over her familiar's lips.

"There," she declared. "Now you have to try some."

"Or I just clean my mouth off," Jason pointed out, trying not to taste it too much . . . but it did taste good.

"He has a point," Jessica said, smiling impishly. "He shouldn't have too much trouble convincing someone to lick his lips clean for him."

Louise's head snapped around to stare at the raven-hair faerie, blushing brilliantly. "W-what d-do y-y-you . . . I-I-I- h-he's m-my-"

Jessica's smile widened. "Oh, Scarron~" she called.

Jason immediately sucked his lips into his mouth and hastily cleared them of ice-cream before the other man could show up.

"Well played," he then said, chuckling.

"I thought so," but she was still smiling, and somehow the situation felt no less dangerous. "Here, you didn't get it all."

"What do you-" He broke off as Jessica reached up with a forefinger, wiped a spot just to the right of his mouth, then stuck the finger in her mouth to suck it clean, and followed that up by winking at him.

"Uh-" The way his cheeks felt, he had to be blushing pretty hard, and the reboot switch for his brain didn't seem to be working right at that moment.

Jessica laughed. "You go wash the dishes, and I'll get started on the next batch of cream and custard."

He nodded, feeling dazed, but when he made his way into the wash room he found that Louise had followed him.

"I-I, I wasn't-"

"You be quiet," she said in a flat tone. Then she sighed, and continued in a low voice. "I know you're not pressing them for anything. But you're my retainer, and we obviously get along well, and Jessica isn't going to be the only one to realize that being the wife of a half-noble would make for a better life than they could dream of, and with the possibility of magical children besides."

"Uh-"

"I said be quiet. I could see that was an ambush. But you need to be careful around the faeries, understand?"

Jason nodded quickly.

"Good." Then her eyes narrowed, and Louise smirked. "Now hold still, you've got a bit of ice-cream left."

He lifted an eyebrow, and rubbed the skin to the right of his mouth. "I don't feel anything."

"I didn't say it was there." With that she Levitated herself up about a foot until she was eye-level with him, put a hand on his shoulder, leaned in until her lips made contact with the skin to the left of his mouth, and he felt himself blushing even harder as his little mistress's tongue laved the dirty spot on his cheek clean.

Then Louise set herself down, still smirking. "You should see to those dishes," she told him, and left the wash room before he could muster a reply.

---

The ice-cream proved to be at least as successful as the chilled drinks had been, and had the advantage of not getting customers drunk while they savored a treat that was normally restricted to the nobility. It made for a quieter evening than the previous night.

"Anything new about Reconquista?" Jason asked that night, rubbing his shoulder as he sat on the bed in his commoner nightclothes.

Louise paused, looking thoughtful. "Maybe not about Reconquista, exactly. But there was some grumbling about how the nobles get all the best things in life."

He rolled his eyes. "As much as I might sympathize, in this case ice is a result of magic. Of course mages have more access to it. You'd have to make it a major project, to build an ice-house big enough to store ice for an entire city, and . . ." He trailed off for a moment. "The crown has a wand that allows for a lot of healing. Are there wands that would be good for ice?"

"I'm sure Dame Tabitha has one, she's said to favor ice for combat." His little mistress frowned. "If I could find some holly harvested during winter, I could . . . I'd have to think about the formulation, to be sure I did it well."

"Um, not quite what I mean. If Princess Henrietta or Queen Marianne could fill up a massive ice-house, they could sell it to people. Hell, harvesting ice used to be a major industry where I'm from. Get enough commoner demand for it and it could be harvested from any mountain that's covered in snow year round."

"Mm." She stepped over to him and put a hand on his right shoulder, where he was still rubbing it. "Are you really that sore?"

"A little. Stirring the ice cream is work, especially as it starts to freeze. Flow isn't just good practice for you, it's also a lot easier on the muscles."

"Well, I'm sure Scarron and Jessica think it was worth it. The customers loved the ice cream." She sat down and grabbed his right arm, leaning against him. "You didn't come out into the taproom, so you didn't see it, but everyone was flirting outrageously, 'cleaning up' ice cream on lips and cheeks."

"Huh. Maybe I should come in as a customer some night."

Her hand tightened on his arm, and she glared up at him. "Explain what you mean by that. Now."

He grinned. "Well, I hear there's this cute little verdetresséd faerie, who hasn't quite mastered dodging away from grabby customers. Maybe I could get her to share a dish of ice-cream with me."

Her expression didn't change.

Oh, shit, was that too far too fast?

Then she snorted, relaxed, and leaned against him once more. "No one will believe you're my brother if we do that."

"True."

"Besides, the other faeries are starting to talk about you."

"Huh?"

"How you're a little scary in the taproom, but more like a mastiff, guarding sheep, than a wolf. Sonja – she's the Germanian-looking one – says her father's like that. Fierce, but gentle to those he protects. She says her mother's the envy of all her neighbors, having such a good husband. That got all the faeries thinking."

He rolled his eyes. "So Jessica's little display today was only the beginning. Well, I suppose it's good to be forewarned. Any of them not acting interested?"

"Margaux says she has her eye on a boy back home. And Nicole – she's the tall, skinny one? – wants a bigger dowry before she steps out with anyone. But the rest could be trouble."

"Lovely. For the record, you can feel free to play the part of the overly-protective little sister." He leaned over and kissed the top of her head. "But we should get to sleep, now."

A little later, as they were settling in and Louise was again making herself comfortable against his shoulder: "You aren't planning to do anything tomorrow, are you?" she asked.

"No, not so far."

"Good. We'll go find an apothecary so I can make some purchases. That'll keep you out of danger tomorrow."

"Alright."

It wasn't until he was drifting off to sleep that he connected the dots: She didn't have to kiss our face clean today. And she didn't actually say she'd refuse to, ahem, share ice-cream with us if we wanted to. Just that it'd blow the cover story that Siesta and Jessica created for us. And she's planning to drag us along when she goes hobby-shopping tomorrow. That's a date, almost.

Does she realize that? Maybe, maybe not. And if she's not calling it a date or whatever the medieval term would be, maybe we shouldn't either. Don't make her feel like she has to nuke what's between us.

---

His arm was still twinging when he woke up, got out of bed, and started doing the exercises that he had room for, in the loft. About midway through his routine, Louise was sitting up and watching him, idly tossing an explosion or two when the spiders and bats happened to show themselves.

"You're almost done, right?" she asked when he finished marching in place and started doing squats (albeit without weights).

"Yeah," Jason replied as he lifted himself up and down. "Not quite – sure these do much – good, but they feel like – exercise."

He kept going until the burn in his legs was downright unpleasant, then stopped and started stretching. "Just about done. Are we heading to the apothecary, now?"

She nodded. "If we get back soon enough, I can make that muscle tonic for you, now that I can cast Mix."

He blinked. "That . . . sounds rather nice, actually. Um, how tired and sore do you faeries get, at the end of the night?"

"Not very sore," Louise replied. "Everyone is tired, and I know I'm upset sometimes, but even a full meal for a customer isn't all that heavy. The faeries who have to work in the kitchen, on the other hand-" She broke off. Then, hesitantly: "It'd be nice to make them some too, wouldn't it?"

"If it's not too expensive, as compared to what you make in tips."

"It shouldn't be. Now let's hurry up and get dressed, so we can be going."

---

"You want how much for this!?" Louise practically shrieked, perhaps an hour later, when the apothecary presented his bill to her.

Said apothecary adopted an air appropriate to a master having to explain matters to a tyro. "I assure you, miss, these prices are entirely reasonable. We take great care to provide only the best, the most well preserved, the most potent reagents-"

"No. You. Don't!" she snarled. "The verbena was clearly picked four or five years ago, and poorly stored after it was dried. The aquamarine and the alabaster have been stored together, not even silk between them for insulation . . . I picked everything here because I don't need the best reagents for what I'm doing today!"

The apothecary's face grew even more pained. "If you would like to put back some of the reagents you've selected, in favor of ones better aspected to your purposes-"

"You aren't listening," she cut it. "I'm willing to take the trash that you should have discarded years ago. This is not worth what you're asking. None of the specimens here are worth what you're asking, but these most of all!"

"I assure you, Miss-"

"I assure you, I know exactly what I'm talking about. And if you think you can cheat me? Jason!"

"Yes?"

"We're leaving! We'll find somewhere else."

"Alright."

To give him what credit he was due, the apothecary waited until they were almost out the door. "Please, Miss, wait."

Louise stopped and turned her head, giving him a disdainful look.

"Perhaps we could negotiate a different price? Since these reagents might need to be discarded soon anyway?"

She smiled thinly, and stalked her way back to the counter.

000000000000000000000000000000000000

"So, was that a haggling ploy on your part? Telling him his reagents were nearly worthless?" Jason asked as he carried a surprisingly heavy bag.

"I wasn't just telling him," she replied, looking a little smug. "But like I told you, Mother's tonic is a minor potion. Potent reagents would be wasted on it, so I might as well use up what needs to be gotten rid of. And you don't pay for trash as if it were freshly harvested and expertly stored. That would be like, oh, buying gravel but paying as if it were expertly-cut stone blocks."

"Ah."

"Of course, now we need to find another apothecary."

"We do?"

"Yes," she said, as if it were obvious. "I'm not going to buy material and reagents for a wand from someone who handles their wares so sloppily."

"Mm. That could take awhile. Maybe Scarron or Jessica knows where to find a good one?"

Louise looked thoughtful. "If they've ever had to procure reagents for a potion, maybe."

---

So as soon as they returned to the Inn, she sought out Jessica. "Do you know where to find a good apothecary? One that doesn't try to cheat customers?"

"Is that where you've been? Mercer's Apothecary?" the head faerie asked in return, smiling faintly. "I could have told you he's a cheat, if you'd consulted me before disappearing at noon."

"I found the reagents I needed, and Mother would agree that I got them at a fair price." Louise waved her hand at the bag Jason was carrying. "Reagents gone half-bad and ready for the rubbish heap are all you need for minor potions, and I know Mother's recipe for a tonic that's good for sore muscles."

"Oh?"

"Such as Jason's shoulder from stirring the ice cream, and maybe the other faeries in the kitchen?" She ended the sentence on a questioning note. "I haven't cooked yet, so I don't know, but-"

Jessica nodded and smiled. "The kitchen will wear you out more than the taproom, that's true." She paused. "How much did you have to spend?"

"Just over a pennyweight in gold, for everything he's carrying." Louise smiled back, looking a bit shy. "It's not a strong potion, it merely helps your muscles recover while you sleep, but I think I have enough for a week or more, for everyone helping out in the kitchen."

Jessica's smile widened. "Then I'll let you get to it." She paused again. "Do you know, I think I like having a noble faerie who isn't hiding who she is from me. None of the others ever offered to use magic to help out."

His little mistress looked even more shy. "It's only what we're supposed to do, using our Brimir-given gifts for the good of all. Here," she hurriedly continued, "let me make the ice for the ice-cream before I get to work on the tonic."

---

"What is it?" Louise asked Jason, as he helped her set things up for her initial foray into potioneering. "Why are you smiling at me like that?"

"Something I just realized," he replied. "You like using your magic to help out around here."

"I-" She stopped short, then flushed. "It's not like the Academy, or back home. I can use magic, finally, and no one here tells me that I should be able to do more than I can. They're, they're-"

"They're willing to take you as you are, while you're here?"

Louise nodded. "And besides, using our magic to bless the commoners around us is why Brimir gave us nobles magic in the first place. It's . . . nice, being able to finally do that."

"It certainly can feel good, being able to help." He looked down at the setup. "Speaking of which, unless you need me to stick around I should get back and start stirring the ice cream as it freezes."

"Once I'm done here, I'll be out to practice Flow," she suddenly looked up at him with narrow eyes, "but you need to be careful until I'm able to come out!"

He laughed, then bent down kiss her forehead. "Don't worry. We'll be making ice-cream, not licking it off each others' cheeks."

"You'd better not be," she muttered as he left to go back to the kitchen.

When he got there, Jessica looked up from the bowl she was stirring. "Do you know how long Athena will need for her tonics? Scarron finished making the ice-holders he's going to hide in the tap room, and she'll need to fill them before we open for business."

"I don't think it'll take her too long. Uh, should I help him set them up, or-?"

"No, come over here and take over stirring this. I have other things I need to make sure are prepared for tonight." She handed him the ladle as he stepped over to the bowl, then she looked to the faerie stirring the other bowl, a girl with dark purple hair and probably about 5'5". "Therese, keep stirring 'till you tire, then have Elena take over."

The other faerie nodded, simpering. Then, as soon as Jessica left, she glanced over at Jason and let out a short giggle.

"Uh, hello," he said, which made her blush and giggle even harder. So he focused on stirring, to give her a chance to cease such alarming behavior.

Unfortunately, she did not, her giggles renewing every time she glanced up at him through long eye-lashes.

And we don't really have a way to figure out if she's as empty-headed as she's presenting, or if she just thinks that's what all guys want. Gotta pity her, either way. Calculated or not, it'll bore any man looking for substance behind a pretty face. Although the dimples are cute. Well, faerie. Cute's expected.

"Hi there, handsome." A hand trailed lightly across his back as Elena came up behind them. "Therese, you're slowing down. Go help Jessica."

The plumlocked faerie pouted, but handed off the ladle and moved away.

"She doesn't say much, does she?" he asked in a low voice as the blonde moved her bowl so that she was standing right next to him, her arm 'accidentally' brushing his from time to time as they stirred.

"Therese? She's Gallian." Elena shrugged, her shoulder nudging his side. "They have a hard time getting their words in the right order. She plays that up for customers, to sound exotic."

"Mm."

They stirred quietly for a few minutes, listening to the noise of the preparations around them.

"This isn't lemon, today," the blonde faerie eventually said. "Do you know what Jessica's trying?"

"She was planning on trying out black currant, so that'll be it unless she changed her mind."

"Oh." Elena looked up at him. "That's very tart, you know. Maybe you should try some, to make sure it'll be fine for our customers?" Her finger descended into the bowl.

"No." Her finger froze, and her eyes widened at his denial. "Best to wait until it's frozen, and let Jessica decide. I don't think she'd like the thought of some of it vanishing as 'taste tests'."

"Oh. You're probably right." She sighed mournfully and looked down, her head slumping against his side as her finger retreated from the bowl and she resumed stirring. "Do you think she'll have us try a little, just to see how it tastes?"

"Possibly." If this is how you flirt with customers, ma'am, then we're not surprised you get rumors started about you sleeping around for better tips. "If she wants you to sell it, you'll need to be able to describe it."

"Does that mean you won't get any, since you aren't a faerie?" She looked up at him, the very picture of earnestness. "I'll save you some of mine, so you can try it."

"Just like half the customers last night?" came a cool, mocking voice behind them. Elena flinched so hard she practically jumped into the air, and Jason turned to see the other faerie – Nicole, that was her name! – that had been involved in the fight two nights previous. Tall and willowy, as Louise had noted, with rich, glossy brown hair that fell in ringlets past her shoulders.

"I'm not-!" Elena started, before Nicole cut her off.

"If you're more interested in flirting than stirring the ice-cream, then shoo. Go find something useful to do."

The blonde looked furious, but then smiled up at Jason apologetically, gave him a quick hug, and headed off.

"I trust you aren't expecting more of the same," Nicole stated drily, taking the spoon and standing far enough away to allow some personal space as she began stirring.

"To be honest, it's a bit of a relief," Jason muttered quietly enough that only she could hear him. "Wasn't looking for a wife when I showed up here with Athena."

"Neither are our customers," she replied in that same dry voice

"Yeah, well, kinda scummy to try to lie with a woman if you aren't prepared to support her when she conceives. Doubly so if it's a threat to her job."

The brunette gave him a sidelong glance, but didn't respond.

---

"And what are you two up-" Louise started to demand as she marched into the kitchen. Then she froze, as the two simultaneously looked up from where they were stirring their respective bowls.

"Suspicious, isn't she?" Nicole asked in the dry, cool tones she seemed to favor.

"Well, we've got some sisters, but I'm the only brother," Jason shrugged. "Besides, I'd probably be just as protective if this were an establishment where bare-chested men, clad only in loincloths, served an exclusively female clientele."

She snorted. "In that case, Athena, you don't need to worry. I won't change into my costume until just before we open."

"Yes, but when you do-" Louise broke off, flushing. "The boys would go crazy at the Academy, if the maids dressed like faeries."

"Yeah, that's for sure," Jason chuckled, shaking off a quick vision of a certain maid dressed in the same skimpy garb that her cousin.

His little mistress turned narrowed eyes on him. "And now you're thinking of Siesta, aren't you?"

"Ah, yes?"

Her glare intensified.

Playing the jealous sister over our 'lover'? Alright, we'll go with it. "Look, I know you aren't entirely happy with my relationship with her." [c-o-v-e-r s-t-o-r-y] "But she's a nice girl, and she'll be your friend if you'll let her."

Nicole looked between the two of them, one eyebrow raised. "You don't approve of Jessica's cousin, Athena?"

Louise gritted her teeth. "I brought Jason to the Academy to be with me, and he started spending time with her almost immediately!"

"And you know it's my pleasure to help you any way I can. But let's not fight right now, please?"

"Fine," she grumbled. "Nicole, I'll take over stirring-"

"Uh, not quite yet," Jason interrupted.

Louise gave him another flat stare. "What now?"

"Scarron's got his hidden pots and whatnot ready and in place. He needs you to go freeze the water in them to start to cool down the taproom."

"Fine!" She whirled around, and marched out of the kitchen, drawing her wand as she did so.

"She's jealous of your sweetheart, isn't she?" Nicole commented quietly as soon as his little mistress was out of the room.

"Uh, yeah. I think she is. She hasn't gotten along too well with the other students, and I think she might feel like I'm the only one in her corner, sometimes." He shrugged. "It doesn't help that she badly misses one of her older sisters, I'm sure."

Nicole was quiet for a very long moment. Finally: "It must be nice, to be able to miss family."

He winced. "That sounds like it's a sore subject. Sorry to tread on painful ground, there."

"Not really painful, anymore." She shook her head. "My oldest brother was recruited for a shield-line, clearing orcs, but he died before earning hardly anything. That was when I was not yet three years old, and I can't even remember him. My other brother cares for my parents in their old age, and barely brings in enough to support them and his family. They've no room for me. And my sister died in childbirth. Her dying wish to her husband was that he marry me even though I was barely sixteen, so he would have someone to look after her son, but her child died the next day and he broke all ties to us in his grief. The only family I have will be the one I eventually make, for I've none left to miss." She delivered this tale in a voice of calm dispassion.

"Oh," Jason replied faintly. "Jessica mentioned in passing that you were saving up a large dowry. I can see why."

"Whatever inheritance my parents may still have, I am sure my brother's wife will convince him to keep, for their use. She doesn't care to see coin go to the support of any but her own." Nicole's lips twisted into something too bitter to be called a smile. "Even with what I save, I dress and eat better than I ever did during the brief periods I spent under her roof."

Um, help? What do we say to all that? "My mother and her husband love each other dearly, and raised me with tender care. But several years after I was born, they had twins. They still care for me, but, well, the more Athena draws me into her life, the more I leave them behind. It's-" He broke off as a pair of slender arms clasped him from behind.

"I haven't even thought about your parents!" Louise almost wailed into his back. "I'm so sorry, I-!"

"Shh," Jason shushed, pulling her around to his front and hugging her back. "Shh. We both know they want what's best for me, and they still have my brothers to finish raising." He offered Nicole a grin. "Trust me, those two need all the attention they can get. I might have had to deal with trouble as a boy, but they like to go looking for it."

"That's what my oldest brother was said to be like, and why he went to clear orcs." Her return smile was subdued and bittersweet. "Why weren't you ever recruited for that? You have the size for it, like Scarron. And Alain, Brimir rest his soul."

He raised an eyebrow. "Let's just say, Athena put her foot down."

Louise pulled her head out of his chest, nodding and looking smug. "I already had him in my service. No recruiter was going to steal him away, no matter what they promised."

"Yeah, so here we are. You can imagine the strange looks we get at the Academy, with me following her around and making sure she takes care of herself when she gets a little too focused on practicing, but, eh. We make it work."

Nicole nodded, looking bemused. "I take it you conjured the ice that Scarron wanted?"

"It didn't take long," Louise confirmed. "And then I came back to take over stirring, but you two were talking about your parents, and . . . I'm sorry. I won't have the inheritance my oldest sister expects, but I'm sure I'll be left enough to support me and my family, even without my husband's properties. Not even expecting a pittance . . . I'm sorry," she repeated.

The taller faerie shrugged, her face carefully composed. "Thank you, but I don't need sympathy. I'm earning what I need here at the Inn." She set down the ladle that she was stirring with. "If you're done with the ice, I'll leave stirring the ice-cream to the two of you."

His little mistress gave Jason a helpless look as Nicole walked off. [i d-i-d n-o-t m-e-a-n t-o u-p-s-e-t h-e-r] she sent.

"In the future, I wouldn't bring up the subject of inheritance," he quietly replied. "She's taking care of herself, and I'm sure she's proud of that. It's her victory over the misfortunes of her childhood. Let her have it."

Louise nodded, and they turned their attention back to the ice-cream.

---

"I know you hate to show weakness," he told her said quietly, taking his little mistress aside after she refreshed the ice in the taproom, around the casks, in the kitchen, and in the ice cream pots just before the Inn opened. "But you said Arise uses more vis than most cantrips. How are you holding up?"

"I'm fine," she assured him. "This isn't as intense as drilling cantrips in class. Now, are you going to be fine? You keep rubbing your shoulder."

"I'll be grateful for your tonic tonight, that's for sure. But I'm good, washing dishes isn't nearly as strenuous as stirring ice-cream as it starts to harden." His shoulder chose that moment to twinge, and he grimaced. "I wish I had access to Mr. Colbert, though. A stirring mechanism driven by a hand-crank would make things easier."

Louise nodded. "Stay alert tonight," she cautioned. "We're serving chilled drinks and ice-cream, so we might need the Brute to help Scarron."

"Yeah, I know. Jessica already mentioned it to me. We'll see how it goes."

---

"Avast, ye landlubber, 'an lay off the grog, 'fore I send ye t' clean the poop deck!"

Damn but we could use some internet access. Pretty soon we'll have to start recycling pirate threats.

Customer properly cowed, Jason sauntered back over to the entrance to the kitchen, then turned to keep an eye on the taproom for a little bit. There weren't that many dishes waiting for him, right then.

"'Come all ye young fellows who follow the sea,'" he sang softly, eyes roving across customers and the faeries flirting with them.
"'Yo, ho, and blow the man down!
It's time to be bathing Lieutenant Marty,
Yo, ho, and blow the man down!

"'Oh give me a plank that looks down on the sea,
Yo, ho, and blow the man down!
It's a short little walk down to eternity,
Yo, ho, and blow the man down!'

"Arr!"

---

Jessica took him aside after the last customers staggered off into the night, supporting each other and singing off-key. "Athena will return to the Academy at some point, won't she?" she asked quietly.

Jason nodded. "Not yet, though. We'll be here at least a few more weeks, if you'll have us."

She boggled. "If? You haven't been paying attention to how much the customers are spending, have you?"

"Uh, even if I was, I don't know what the normal take is, versus what you've made the last few days."

"Well, the word is starting to spread, and we're seeing more business. And they're happy to pay a premium for cold drinks and ice-cream. We're going to need a hedge-mage with an affinity for ice to take over when Athena leaves, if they aren't too expensive."

"Yeah." His expression grew pained. "People might not take it well, if you have to drop the ice stuff when we leave. If there's anything we can do to help you find someone . . . How common are hedge-mages?"

"I've heard that there are more than most people realize," the head faerie replied. "But if you don't know what to test for, someone might not ever realize that they're a mage. Although wouldn't Athena be more likely to know?"

"Huh, you're right. I'll check with her, maybe we can figure something out."

Jessica nodded. "But not for tomorrow, though. The start of the weekend is our busiest day. We're closed the day after, of course."

---

"The most important test is summoning a familiar," Louise said, grimacing slightly. "That proves you're a noble. But for the rest? Mother is of Wind, and Father is of Earth, but Cattleya is of Water, and she tried to help me see if I could get a start on Water cantrips before I went to the Academy. I'll write down what I remember."

"Do you think one of the faeries could have the potential to be a hedge-mage?" Jason asked, sipping on the tonic that Louise had prepared for him and the two faeries who'd been cooking all night.

"They might," she admitted with another grimace. "They're all pretty, so their mothers and grandmothers were probably pretty, and they might have caught noble attention some time in the past. It happens, and some nobles choose to disgrace themselves in the sight of Brimir by refusing to acknowledge their bastards. Who knows where their blood might sleep?"

---

He'd entertained a notion of going out to the market the next day and trying to find some tea to experiment with, but the preparations for the anticipated busy weekend were so extensive that he soon abandoned the idea. And the night proved to be as busy as Jessica had anticipated, so that by the end of the night he and Louise collapsed into their bed with hardly any words exchanged between them.

The day after that they were woken up by a knock on the door. "Athena?" Jessica's voice called on the other side. "There's someone to see you."

Master and familiar blinked sleepily at each other, then blanched almost simultaneously and tumbled out of bed. "J-just a moment!" Louise as she and Jason hurried to change into their day clothes.

"Take your time and get washed up." The head faerie's voice was distinctly amused. "She's in the taproom, waiting."

Jason made his way over to the door and opened it as Louise collected her soap. "Do you know who it is?" he asked, stepping to the side as Louise rushed out and headed downstairs to the washroom. (Which for very good reason was not the same room where the they kept the toilet.)

Jessica shook her head. "All she said was that Athena should be happy to see her."

"Uh, okay." The princess got whatever Louise wrote down in her letter, then.But it can't possibly be the princess, can it? Surely anyone living in Bruxelles would know what Henrietta looks like. Could it be someone from the Academy, sent by Siesta? But who would Louise be happy to see? She doesn't really have friends there.

A cold wave swept over him. Could her family have found out about this? Given the irregular nature of having an adult male as a familiar, this could be very bad-

"Come on, Jason!" His little mistress called, poking her head up from the staircase, having apparently washed up in record time.

Crap. Time to face the music. He took a deep breath, then followed her down to the kitchen and out into the taproom, feeling quite nervous.

A cloaked and cowled figure stood waiting for them, and upon seeing Louise it pulled the cowl back, revealing a tall blonde, maybe five-foot eight or nine, that he didn't recognize at all.
"'Athena'?" the woman said, pulling out a sealed letter. "I am commanded to deliver this into your hands."

His little mistress took the proffered letter, looking nervous but hopeful, and unsealed it. Her face blossomed into a smile by the time she was halfway done, and Jason breathed a quiet sigh of relief. At the very least she doesn't think she's in trouble, so we probably aren't in too much trouble either.

"I'll be happy to go with you," she told the woman. "But, I don't have the right things to wear-"

"That's been taken care of," the woman assured her. "And we will be discreet, so that your stay here will not have to be cut short."

"Thank you!" Louise turned to Jason. "Everything's fine." [h-e-n-r-i-e-t-t-a s-e-n-t h-e-r]

He nodded.

Then she turned to Jessica. "I'll be visiting a friend this afternoon-"

"We customarily have a large 'luncheon' a little after nightfall," the head faerie replied, smiling faintly. "I can set a place for you, if you plan to return by then."

"That would be wonderful!" She turned back to the messenger. "Should we-?"

"We should," the messenger nodded, and then they were out the door.

"Hmm," Jessica mused, "You two can say a lot to each other with a look and a nod, can't you?"

Jason shrugged. "We've been close for as long as I've known her, although that was some years after she was born."

"I take it that this messenger woman was from whoever Athena contacted to let them know that she was well?"

"Uh . . . yes. And I need to ask you not to inquire further. Please."

Jessica gave him a narrow look, then her lips quirked. "As you wish. Come with me: Since you're up, you can help with the cooking."

Just then, Louise rushed back in, the still-nameless woman following behind her and looking bemused. "I'm sorry!" she exclaimed. "I forgot about the ice!" With that, she dashed around, using Arise on all the hidden vessels in the taproom, then into the kitchen for several moments, then back out into the taproom and out the door with the messenger once more.

Jessica stared at the door for a long moment, then shook her head and laughed. "That was thoughtful of her," she commented. "And now we'll be able to have ice-cream tonight."

"She does like to help out with magic." Jason grinned. "Alright. To the kitchen!"

---

"This seems like a lot more leftovers than normal," he commented, looking at the substantial pile of food that had been stashed in the storeroom overnight.

"That's how it is on the weekend," Jessica confirmed. "We're so busy that we make more mistakes than usual, and there's always a little too much made at the end of the night. So now all this goes into the stew-pots for ragout. If Scarron can catch enough pigeons, I'll also make a fricassee, and in a little while we'll make some bread." She smiled. "It was nice of Athena to come back and make ice for us. The kitchen would be almost unbearable while we cook everything, otherwise."

"Even moreso than usual?"

"Because we're cooking for everyone, all at once, and getting the ragout started for the week. Anyway, start carrying all this up for me, while I get things set up in the kitchen."

Jason nodded and got to work.

"Now we'll let the ragout simmer." Jessica looked out the nearest window, then smiled at him. "We're a little early, thanks to you carrying everything for me. You said you knew a little bit about cooking, so are there any dishes you'd like to show off?"

He blinked. "Uh, I don't . . . well, do you have any sauces that go well on bread?"

"You mean like a preserve? We have several."

"No, uh, I'm thinking more like something that you can put on top of bread dough before you cook it."

"Something to cook with the bread?" Jessica looked thoughtful. "We have plenty of basil and pine nuts. Do you think a pesto would work?"

"We can try and find out." Jason shrugged apologetically. "If you don't mind the chance that it could go horribly wrong."

She smiled again. "We've made a little extra money this week, so I don't mind taking another chance on another of your notions. And cooking basil pesto into a bread roll sounds interesting, at the least."

"Er, not quite a roll. What we'll do is shape some bread dough into, well, basically a large platter. Brush some garlic butter and maybe some diced basil all along the rim. Then we'll spread some basil pesto in the middle, and on top of that we'll sprinkle vegetables, and maybe some chopped meat and bits of cheese. Cook it in the oven until the bread is done, bring it out, let it cool until you can touch it without getting burned, then slice it into portions and serve."

Jessica's eyebrows rose up steadily as Jason went through the explanation. "I don't think I've ever heard of anything like that," was all she said when he finished.

"It's called 'pizza'. I think it's Romalian," he offered. "Something I saw at the Academy. I spend some time every weekend helping the chefs and learning what I can."

"And it's good?"

"I've had it a couple of times. It's pretty good, yeah." He rubbed the back of his neck. "As long as I didn't forget anything important about the recipe, it should come out okay."

"We'll give it a chance, then. And if it works, perhaps we've found something else we can do with leftovers."

---

[h-o-w i-s t-h-e r-e-p-o-r-t g-o-i-n-g][?] Stirring the ragout while Jessica worked on the bread dough didn't exactly require his full concentration, making it an excellent time to check in.

[g-o-i-n-g t-o s-m-a-l-l c-h-a-p-e-l] Louise replied. [s-h-e i-s b-e-t-t-e-r w-i-t-h d-i-s-g-u-i-s-e-s].[w-o-u-l-d n-o-t r-e-c-o-g-n-i-z-e m-y-s-e-l-f]

Aha. They do have some sort of religious observances on the weekend. [t-a-k-e c-a-r-e]

[a-g-n-e-s i-s w-i-t-h u-s].[s-h-e i-s d-r-e-s-s-e-d] She paused. [d-r-e-s-s-e-d l-i-k-e a m-a-n].[l-o-o-k-s l-i-k-e a m-a-n] Yet another pause. [d-o-n-e t-h-i-s b-e-f-o-r-e].[g-o-n-e o-u-t a-s b-r-o-t-h-e-r a-n-d s-i-s-t-e-r].[l-o-o-k l-i-k-e s-i-b-l-i-n-g-s[,][r-i-g-h-t n-o-w].[h-a-v-e m-e d-r-e-s-s-e-d a-s c-o-u-s-i-n]

[c-o-o-l][,][p-r-i-n-c-e-s-s c-a-n v-i-s-i-t p-e-o-p-l-e i-n d-i-s-g-u-i-s-e].[h-o-p-e a-g-n-e-s i-s g-o-o-d w-i-t-h w-a-n-d][,][j-u-s-t i-n c-a-s-e]

[a-g-n-e-s n-o-t m-a-g-e] came the reply. [b-u-t h-a-s p-i-s-t-o-l-s]

Jason stopped stirring for a moment. [k-e-e-p w-a-n-d r-e-a-d-y][Caution]

[Agreed]

---

"Scarron should have been back by now," Jessica said, frowning at lengthening shadows outside. "I'm going to go find him. Are you going to be able to put your 'pizza' together by yourself?"

"I think so." He smiled sheepishly. "Assuming I can spread the dough out without tearing it. And if I can't I'll try again until I get it right."

As it happened, the trick where chefs toss pizza dough to get a large circle proved elusive that afternoon, so after a few failed attempts Jason gave up and simply flattened the dough until he had a large, square shape. Well, mostly square.

He was bent over the table, applying garlic oil, when a hand lightly brushed along his back just above his buttocks. This made him jump, and by the time he recovered, Elena was up against his side, inside his arm and with her arm seemingly casually resting across his back.

"Steady there, pirate," she grinned up at him, tossing her head back with a little jerk that made her blonde hair seem to shimmer. "What's all this?"

"Trying to put together a pizza," he replied. "It's a Romalian dish I saw at the Academy a couple of times."

"A large bread platter with garlic?" Elena looked dubious, then quickly smiled at him. "I'm sure it'll be delicious!"

"Don't worry, the bread's just the start. Next I need to add the basil pesto."

"I'll help with that!" she volunteered, beaming. "Two sets of hands is better than one, right?"

Of course, if you stick to our side like that, we've only got two hands available between us, which kind of defeats the purpose. But he couldn't think of a way to break away without saying something hurtful. Possibly because the blonde was pretty, and female, and standing in Louise's spot . . . but Elena wasn't a late bloomer, definitely not, and he didn't really have anywhere to put his hand that wouldn't be possessive or predatory (or both!) and-

"Jason?" She was looking up at him again, with an expression whose innocence was marred only by slight smile and the laughter in her eyes.

"I-I'm fine," he stammered. "Uh, two sets of hand would be faster than one, but I'd need my arm back."

She pouted, then gave him a final squeeze and moved to the side, her hand once again trailing quite low across his back as she stepped away, and he did his best not to blush.

---

"Do you think the meat is still good?" Elena asked a little later, looking down at the leftovers that Jason and Jessica had set aside for the pizza.

"Should be. It was cooked and everything."

"But should you taste it, just to be sure?"

Hell, I give up. "Alright, alright." He started to reach for one of the smaller bits-

"No, not that one!" She swatted his hand away and picked up a somewhat larger piece of meat. "You should try this one."

"Okay." Whatever.

He reached out for it, but Elena stepped up close, tilted her head up towards him, and stuck the morsel between her lips.

Jason stared down at her for a moment, then started to blush furiously.

"That's supposed to be for luncheon, you know," came a voice from kitchen entrance. They both whirled to see Jessica standing there, several pigeons dangling by their feet from her hand.

The blonde spat out the meat. "You could have waiting a little longer," she grumbled.

"I think I interrupted at just the right time," smirked her raven-haired boss. She held out the birds. "Here, since you're up and ready to help, take care of these while I prepare the sauce. And when Scarron comes back you can take care of his birds, too."

Elena glared, but took the pigeons as instructed and left the kitchen.

"Now, Jason?" Jessica said as she came over to where the pizza was half-done.

He swallowed and braced himself for the incoming lecture. "Yes?"

Her smile turned truly evil. "If you wanted something to nibble on before luncheon-"

With that she picked up one of the larger pieces of meat, unbuttoned the top of her blouse, and tucked it into suddenly-visible cleavage. "Help yourself."

He blushed even darker then before, before face-palming. "Have you all forgotten that I'm seeing your cousin?"

Jessica gave him a skeptical look. "Are you, after that little display with Elena?"

He looked back at her, happened to glance at the offered meat – still snug – and quickly closed his eyes. "Never thought I'd be in a position to say this, but I swear, she's the one chasing me."

There was silence for a moment, before the head faerie laughed softly.

"That's Elena for you. She's impatient to settle down." There was the sound of a single step forward.

He opened his eyes to find that Jessica had, indeed, closed the space between them, and was looking up at him with an appraising twinkle.

"And by now, everyone's heard that Athena doesn't really approve of you and Siesta together. So don't expect that to stop anyone."

"But-"

His objection was suddenly cut off as she grabbed the chunk of meat from where it had nestled in her bosom and popped it into his open mouth.

"Go ahead and have that, so you won't need any more snacks," she said, finger on his lips and meeting his suddenly-bulging eyes with an impish look. "But then you need to stop flirting so we can get this pizza finished."

Jason sagged, and gave in, chewing and swallowing. "You promise no more flirting?"

"None at all," she breathed. Then she slipped her hand around to the back of his neck, stood up on tiptoes, and pulled his head down to give him a firm kiss-

On the tip of his nose.

Then she stepped away, and turned to the pizza. "The idea is to spread everything as evenly as possible over the layer of basil pesto?" she asked, suddenly all business.

"Yeah, pretty much. With the cheese on top as a final layer. And, please, no more teasing? I can only take so much."

"Jason," she said coldly, looking up with a suddenly flat stare, "I believe I asked you to stop flirting. And you stepping out with my cousin and everything. For shame!"

He gaped at her.

Then she winked.

He groaned, face-palming again, as she laughed.

---

[w-e m-e-s-s-e-d u-p]

[h-o-w][?]

[s-a-y-i-n-g y-o-u d-i-s-l-i-k-e][Siesta][n-o-w f-a-i-r g-a-m-e f-o-r c-o-u-r-t-i-n-g]

Louise didn't respond for a moment. [w-h-a-t a-r-e y-o-u d-o-i-n-g][?][Urgent]

[m-a-k-i-n-g l-u-n-c-h].[j-e-s-s-i-c-a s-h-i-e-l-d-i-n-g f-r-o-m o-t-h-e-r-s][,][b-u-t f-l-i-r-t-i-n-g h-e-r-s-e-l-f].[g-o-o-d a-t i-t][,][s-c-a-r-y][Help, I need a rescue!]

[s-u-n-s-e-t][,][s-t-a-y s-a-f-e][Urgent]

[w-i-l-l t-r-y]

---

"This is heavy," Jason commented, hefting the sack that Agnes had given him just before leaving to return to the palace. "That woman's stronger than she looks. What's in it?"

"Her Highness gave me some reagents to work with, if I want to try to develop a wand formulated for Arise, like you suggested," Louise told him. "And need to continue your exercise. You're a lot bigger than she is, you should be stronger."

"Working on it."

"I know." She gave him a sudden hug. Then sniffed, loudly.

He looked down at her. "Are you okay?"

She nodded. "And it doesn't smell like you had your way with anyone, either."

"No." He rolled his eyes. "And it'd be the other way around, honest. It's getting surreal."

"Well, I'm here to protect you now." There was a gurgle from her belly, and Louise flushed. "I-It's almost time to eat, too."

"About, yes." Jason frowned. "They didn't feed you?"

"Her Highness didn't have a heavy luncheon prepared," she admitted. "But I'm fine. I'm just hungry."

He smiled. "Well, we'll have to see what we can do to fix that. But let's get these up to your room first."

They headed inside the Inn, then towards the kitchen. As Jason went through the doorway, he was immediately embraced by a short figure with golden hair.

"Back so soon?" Elena asked excitedly, snuggling in close and nuzzling his side. "Does that mean Athena's staying the night with her friend in town?"

"No, it does not," Louise said flatly. "Will you let my brother go? We have some things that we need to store in our room before we eat."

"But he's so cuddly," the blonde protested, smilingly sweetly. "It feels like I'm right where I'm meant to be, deep in his-"

"Stop trying so hard and let them go on their way," Nicole's cool tones broke in. "Right now you're delaying luncheon for all of us."

Elena shot the brunette a glare, but gave Jason one last squeeze and released him. He hurried to catch up with his little mistress, who was already stomping her way up the stairs.

"You were safe, you said," Louise growled under her breath.

"Safer. Not safe from an ambush, obviously."

"Hmph. Next week, you're coming with me."

He waited until they reached the door to their bedroom, opened it, and were inside. Then Jason set down the reagents on the bed and knelt in front of Louise, so that they were nearly eye-to-eye. "Come here," he told her.

"What are you-" She started in a dubious tone.

"Just come here," he interrupted.

"Fine!" she said, and stepped close enough so that he could take her in his arms. She stiffened, then relaxed and hugged him back, their cheeks brushing.

"I'm still yours, little mistress," he murmured. "This is where I'm meant to be, in your embrace."

She sighed, relaxing further.

"And very cuddly, too."

That made Louise pull back, an oddly hurt expression on her face. "Don't mock me," she grumbled. "We all know I'm the skinniest one here. Even Nicole has something."

"Ah-" There was a fair degree of validity to her complaint, he had to admit. The faerie costumes left little to the imagination, and if the tall brunette's bosom was less substantial, it was high and firm, and suited her willowy frame very well withal. Somewhat like Louise, and they were both 'smaller' than all the other faeries, but Nicole had already filled out and his little mistress hadn't yet, much.

"It's true that you're later than most, growing into a woman," he admitted. Then he traced a line down her side, making her shiver as his finger followed the inward curve of her stomach, stopping just as her hips began to curve back outward. "But you're already starting to show a woman's curves, and Jessica wouldn't put you in a costume that draws attention to your chest if you didn't have at least some bosom."

Louise looked at him suspiciously, then leaned in and buried her face into the hollow of his neck and shoulder. [j-u-s-t d-o n-o-t e-v-e-r l-e-a-v-e m-e] she sent.

[n-e-v-e-r]

---

"Alright, Athena's things are put away. Anything we can do to help before dinner?" Jason asked once he and his little mistress returned to the kitchen.

"We're just about done here in the kitchen," Jessica replied.

"The 'pizza' smells delicious!" Elena piped up with a smile.

"Yes, it does smell nice. Scarron's moving the tables together in the taproom, so why don't you go help him with that?"

The individual tables were not very big, but between Scarron, Jason, and Levitate, they soon had the equivalent of a long, rectangular table in the middle of the room. Then Louise went around refreshing the ice that had melted during her visit with the princess while the other faeries carried the food in and set it up on the table.

The proprietor took the seat at the head of the table, with his daughter opposite him. The rest of the faeries – dressed in a colorful array of clothing that was nonetheless far more modest than what they wore as costumes – sat themselves up and down the table in no particular order. Except, that is, that Louise made sure that Jason was sitting next to her, and then Elena nipped in to claim the other spot next to him.

Once everyone was seated, Jessica ladled out bowls of ragout and passed them down until everyone had a bowl in front of them.

Glancing left and right, Jason noticed that nobody had picked up their bowls to drink from them yet (and between that and the ice cream he was once again starting to think about introducing the spoon, except then he'd be the one to have to wash them), and he waited despite a rumbling stomach to see what the local equivalent of saying grace was going to look like.

Once she'd served the stew, Jessica then poured wine and passed the cups down. Then Scarron bowed his head, and everyone immediately copied him.

"Most Exalted Brimir," he began in a serious tone, every trace of his colorful personality absent for the nonce, "we bow our heads to give you thanks for the blessings of the day. We acknowledge our fortune in living in Bruxelles, under the inspired reign of the Throne of Water. Bless us with continued health, that we may prosper under the guidance of the Lords of Water, and be welcome among us as we feast this day in honor of your holy Void. Always and forever."

"Always and forever," the faeries responded, and Jason managed enough savvy to say it along with them.

Then Scarron picked up his cup of wine, and again everyone copied him. "My faeries . . . and pirate," he quickly added, and a titter went up and down the table as the faeries glanced at Jason, "to Queen Marianne! May she be favored in health, and comforted in her bereavement!"

"To Queen Marianne!" they all repeated, and everyone lifted their cups high, then drank. Jason, upon tasting the wine and realizing that it was undiluted, limited himself to a small sip.

"And," Jessica said, in what was obviously part of the same weekly ritual, "to Princess Henrietta! May her future reign be long and blessed!"

"To Princess Henrietta!" they all toasted, drinking again. Then they set their wine down and picked up their bowls to begin eating.

There was no conversation at first, as everyone worked their way through a bowl. Or in the case of Scarron and a couple of the faeries, two bowls. When they were finished, the bowls were passed back to Jessica and she ladled out fricassee, sending two small rolls on a plate with each bowl.

"Pardon me for asking," one of the faeries (Jason hadn't managed to get her name to catch in his mind yet) said, before picking a bit of pigeon meat out of her fricassee, "but I thought nobles all used their wands to eat?" Then she popped the meat into her mouth and began chewing.

Louise, already chewing the meat that she'd likewise picked up with her bare hands, blushed as all eyes were suddenly on her.

"She's right," Nicole added. "That's one way we can tell when nobles slum here as faeries for a lark: They all have trouble with the notion of picking up their food with their hands the way we commoners do."

Uh-oh. Hope nobody's noticed us. Jason quickly picked up a largish bit of meat and began chewing. Really could use a fork right about now.

[w-h-a-t d-o i s-a-y][?] his little mistress sent, along with a pleading sidelong glance.

He quickly swallowed. "It's not something we like to go around talking about, but Athena's struggled with control for as long as she could could cast. So, yeah-"

Louise swallowed and picked up the thread. "My sisters never had trouble, and El-" She stopped, grimacing.

Jessica smiled. "You have't come up with false names for them, yet?"

Louise's eyes widened. "What?" she squeaked.

"Ma petite fée," Scarron laughed, once more in his usual mode of speech, if thankfully not his bouncer falsetto, "no noble working here has ever given us her real name. The chance of scandal, oui?"

"You've done better then most. You always respond to 'Athena', and I don't think Jason's slipped up more than once or twice by starting to call you by your real name." Jessica's smile grew gentle. "Don't worry. Not all of us are using our real names, either."

"Oh."

"What I'd like to know is," one of the other faeries broke in with, "do nobles really have servants to feed their children when they're too young to use a wand?"

Louise nodded.

And that is enough pieces of the puzzle to make an educated guess."'Alexia'," Jason broke in. "The older sister? We'll call her that. She'd mock Athena for not being able to Levitate her food. The other sister, call her 'Kat', was a bit nicer about it."

His little mistress gave him another sidelong glance. [h-o-w d-i-d y-o-u k-n-o-w][?]

[l-i-k-e-l-y g-u-e-s-s]

"When I refused to be fed like a baby, and I couldn't feed myself with a wand," Louise frowned at what was most likely an unpleasant memory, "'Kat' would wait until I was hungry, and feed me then. She was being nice, even though I pitched a fit about it, and . . . Mother made me apologize, of course, but I also went back and gave her a real apology later. But Mother forbade Kat to feed me anymore, and when I was hungry enough I learned to eat with my hands."

"It's better at the Academy," Jason pointed out. "Not everyone attends knowing how to cast Levitate, so there isn't much mockery at meals."

[i-s i-n 2-n-d f-o-r-m]

[s-o-r-r-y]

"I should practice Levitate at meals," Louise admitted, "but it's still easier to use my hands."

"Well, at least the next dish seems ideal for eating like a commoner," Jessica said lightly. "Is pizza popular at the Academy? Everyone agrees that it smells good, and we're all interested in trying it."

"'Pizza'?" Louise repeated the word, sounding puzzled. "What's pizza? You mean the giant half-sandwich that you cooked today?" She pointed to the waiting pizza, already cut up into thirty-two slices.

The head faerie's eyebrows rose. "You don't know what a pizza is?" She turned her gaze to Jason. "What's going on?"

Oh, shit, what do we . . . of course! "Pizza's for leftovers," he pointed out. "I don't think they serve those to the students."

"Hmm." She nodded, looking reasonably satisfied. "And a 'sandwich'?"

"Oh, that. Something I came up with one time, when Athena had skipped breakfast. Cut a roll in half, put meat, cheese, and vegetables in between, and you've got a quick meal. It's handy, for all that it's not fine dining. Don't need to clean your hands as much after, either."

Louise smirked. "What Jason isn't mentioning is that when the chefs at the Academy found out about it, they insisted on teaching him so that he wouldn't waste his obvious culinary genius."

He rolled his eyes. "Believe me, those chefs completely outclass me. Really, they've mostly just been making me learn the basics at a more professional level."

Jessica nodded. "The more people you cook for, the more valuable the basic skills are. And I've thought about what we might be able to do, cooking things into the dough. If the pizza is as good as it smells, we'll want to try some more experiments. I can even see selling it to our customers."

"Something else you could try is to take a roll, cut it in half to make a sandwich, and then toast the sandwich. A bit of cheese works well to keep the toast from getting too dry." Jason shrugged. "You could probably even wrap it in paper for customers to take with them when they leave."

"Like a street vendor in a market square?" The head faerie looked thoughtful. "It's true that sometimes our customers don't have time to sit down and eat properly. If they had the option to take their food with them, it'd certainly be better than only selling them a cup or two of wine. And they tip better for meals, too."

"That's why I'll still order a meal for my regulars if they're later than usual," Margaux put in. "Then when they show up they have a meal that I know they like waiting for them, and they're usually so happy that they tip even better than normal."

"And if we use rolls that are already cooked, then it would only take the time to put everything into the sandwich and then toast it," Nicole mused. "Cooked bread toasts quickly, so it wouldn't take very long at all to make, for a customer in a hurry."

Jessica nodded. "We'll see if we can toast some 'sandwiches' this week," she decided. "If they're good, we'll start offering them to customers."

"If that's decided," Elena spoke up, sounding like she was trying not to sound impatient, "can you tell us more about what it's like, growing up on a noble estate?"

Jason and Louise glanced at each other.

"Might be a little hard to describe properly," he replied. "What you grow up with is what seems normal, after all."

"Yes, but you're half-noble, right? So you've seen both sides."

"Somewhat." He shrugged. Okay, time to be vague as possible. "One of the things about growing up was, everyone knew I was my father's son. And Mother was determined to make sure I learned enough to do him proud. Of course, it turns out I don't have magic, but I was a good enough student that I was allowed to keep studying for as long as I put the effort to keep learning." And strictly speaking, none of that was a lie.

He looked down at his little mistress and smiled. "If I hadn't, I'd probably have been sent into ranks as a recruit. Six months to sweat off the fat and put on some muscle, and I'd be fighting orcs."

"Are they a threat, where you live?" one of the faeries asked breathlessly. "You hear about them destroying towns, but the cities have always been safe."

"They aren't a threat, not to us," Louise responded, "but that's because Father makes certain to keep them at bay. And you wouldn't be in the punishment platoon for six months," she smirked up at Jason. "Mother would see to it that you were fit in no more than three, if not two."

"But I was a pretty good student, and that's a big part of why I was allowed to serve Athena. And she's been careful to make sure no one recruits me away from her." He shrugged again. "And that's my childhood, really. Farm chores to help put food on the table, study hard for a chance at a good life, and now I'm in Athena's service."

"I didn't have farm chores," Louise said, "but studying is most of what a young noblewoman does, too. There's time to play, but if you expect to help manage an estate or demesne when you grow up, you need to learn a lot of different things."

"That's not how city nobles seem," Nicole commented in a dry tone. "They act like they have all the time in the world for revelry."

"Yeah?" Jason smiled crookedly. "Betcha those are the relatives of the landed nobles. Cadet lines, stuck with an allowance and not a whole lot to do. Maybe not even enough magical talent to earn a place at the Academy."

"A safe bet, oui?" Scarron put in, smiling. "A noble who speaks loudly of his prowess may be living up to a family name – I saw Sturmhart von Zerbst in action, many years ago, and he was as grand a braggart as any – but the noble who speaks loudest often has the least to speak of." His smile faded. "But it's not safe to say so, where they can hear. Even the weakest spells can be deadly."

"Yeah. So that's us. What about y'all? Where did everyone come from?"

There was quiet for a moment.

Then Margaux laughed. "We're all different. My parents sent word around, asking after positions, and Scarron gave me a chance. But that happened because my sweetheart's parents didn't approve of him stepping out with me, so they sent him to be a soldier."

"Oh. I'm sorry for asking."

"It's not a problem," she assured Jason. "He's been fortunate enough to stay whole and hale, and he sends his pay home to my parents, to save. When his term's up, with his savings and mine, we won't need his parents' approval at all! We have an option on some good land when the current renters retire in a few years, and then we'll be set."

"My uncle works for a merchant who supplies Scarron from Germania," another faerie, said in moderately accented tones, when Margaux finished. She tossed her head, her straight brown hair rippling. "There was no one to marry – all are kin to within four degrees in my village – so I came here to work, and maybe find a man. It is scary, to be so far from family, but Scarron is a good man, and Jessica cares for us all."

"Thank you, Sonja." The head faerie smiled. "I try my best. Therese, you don't have to say anything if you don't want to-"

A slender faerie with dark purple hair – the one who'd been giggling at him non-stop – shook her head. "Fled home," she said, in an accent that sounded a little like how Scarron liked to speak. "Was this, or whoring. Better here."

"And no need to say more," Jessica said gently. "Eugina, why don't you go next?"

"Alright," said a faerie with dirty-blond hair and hazel eyes. Jason couldn't tell for certain, since she wasn't standing up, but she looked taller than most of the faeries, except maybe Nicole. "My two younger sisters are being trained by the hedge mage in our town, so the family needs all the money we can raise. This turned out to be better money that seamstressing."

Huh, Jessica's acting a bit like she's conducting . . . actually, that's exactly what she's doing. And with sixteen of us around the table, someone needs to.

But the head faerie was interrupted before she could call on anyone else.

"Me, my mammy's a whore, my sister's a whore, an' they both made come here!" announced a third brunette faerie loudly, looking sulky. "Won't catch a man just by smiling and flashing leg, but no, little Ima has to work for a living."

"The men your family catches never stick around," Jessica told her gently, albeit with slightly gritted teeth. "They're hoping for something better for you."

Ima looked even more sullen and sulky. "Whole lotta nonsense, I say. 'Least a man's honest about what he wants, in their line of work. None of this prancing around and making nice, just lie there and let him stick-"

"Thank you, Ima, we understand. Felicia, why don't you go next?"

A faerie with light greenish hair, presumably Felicia, smiled. "My parents are happy that I'm earning more for my dowry, when I marry. Nothing complicated here."

"Me too," another faerie, a fourth brunette – albeit light enough that she probably edged over into blonde during the summer – put in. "There's too many of us to feed, let alone set aside for dowries for me and my two sisters, so a job that can pay well is Brimir-sent."

"You're lucky to have a family, Safira," yet another faerie, a coppery redhead, stated. "I had to beg on the streets before Scarron found me, and I would have laughed if you'd talked to me about needing a dowry."

"You've heard my story, Jason, so you know I'm not quite as badly off as Roxane," Nicole said, then shrugged. "But my earnings are the only dowry I'll have, so I'm making sure it'll be a good dowry."

"Is that all everyone wants?" Louise then asked. "A good dowry?"

"It's not a bad thing to have," Jessica pointed out. "But then there's people like Liliane." She nodded to a faerie almost as tall as Eugina.

Liliane tossed her head, sending bright purple locks bouncing. "It wouldn't be too bad to marry, I suppose. If I found the right man. But the one my parents picked out is not that man, so I'll stay here until they see reason. I'm thinking about studying at a university, once they're willing to pay for it."

"And that finally brings us to Corine."

The final faerie was a blonde like Elena, but a bit taller and not quite as curvy. "I'm another dowry chaser," she admitted cheerfully. "I don't have a specific man in mind, though, unlike Margaux."

"The ones who do don't last long as faeries," Nicole noted. "Once you have your man, best not to give him reason to wander, and that leads to babies soon enough."

"So you're just building your dowry, and hoping everything will work out?" Louise sounded confused. "How do you find husbands?"

There were smiles all around the table.

"You've just been coy so far, Athena," Jessica said, "but once you switch over to flirting, don't be surprised if you start having men ask you to marry them."

"What?!"

"They aren't serious," Nicole said. "If they were, I'm sure Elena would be long gone by now."

"That's not true!" the blonde protested, scooting closer to Jason.

"What is true is that some customers are happy to propose, just to have their way with you," Jessica warned. "So don't take it seriously."

"Then what do you do?" Louise sounded even more confused, now.

"Once one of us picks a man, the thing to do is lead him on until he gets it into his head to be serious, then let him start courting." Jessica smiled and winked. "Usually they think it's all their idea."

"And you have to know what you want to look for," Nicole added, nodding. "I'm going to find a journeyman who doesn't have a hope of opening his own shop, but who does all the work while the master reaps the benefits, and I'll pay for him to have his own shop, once we're married. We'll be partners."

"Nicole's plan is more ambitious than the rest of us – except for maybe Liliane and the university – but that's the general idea for us all," the head faerie stated, still smiling. "Beauty to catch a man's eye, a good dowry to strengthen the new family, and the household skills to run our part smoothly. It could be worse, and for many commoners it is worse, so a few years of being trifled with by silly drunks is worth it, in my opinion." She paused. "How does the future look for a young noblewoman? You said you were being trained to run an estate?"

Louise nodded. "I'll marry after I leave the Academy, and my parents will give me some lands of my own. It's not just about having a single demesne, though. Small estates can be scattered all over Tristain, or even in other countries sometimes, and you have to be able to manage them all, or at least know when something isn't right, so you can investigate and figure out what the estate manage may be trying to hide from you.

"But we're landed nobles. There are a lot of petty nobles who don't have any title, and they mostly serve whoever they can. So Squares and Triangles usually have several Lines and Dots serving them, which strengthens the demesne."

"What happens if there isn't a Triangle to inherit a title?" Margaux asked.

"Well . . . my sister Alexia will probably inherit, and she's only a Line right now. But she'll be a Triangle by then." Louise took a deep breath. "A Line or even a Dot can still inherit a title and demesne, though. It's just dangerous, because everyone around them will be eager to carve estates out of the demesne, until it shrinks to nothing more than an estate itself. A weak noble needs to find the strongest husband or wife possible, to try to strengthen the family again. If they can't, over two or three generations, they probably lose the title when their demesne falls apart."

"But, my sisters say that the Queen will take back a title, if the family can't produce a strong enough mage," Eugina protested.

Louise nodded. "That's if the demesne is a grant from the crown. A lot of them are like that, but a lot of them aren't, too. And a demesne doesn't have to be farms, either. They can be mines, or forests, lake or stretches of rivers to fish or collect tolls from, and so on."

Several of the faeries nodded in comprehension, but nobody asked anything else for a long moment.

"Well, this has been interesting, but it looks like everyone is about finished with the fricassee," Jessica then said, looking around at the table where, indeed, everyone was mopping up the sauce and remnants of meat with their rolls. "So it's time to serve the pizza and try it out."

Thirty-two slices meant two slices apiece, and soon the bowls were set aside and each faerie was face to face with her very first pizza.

"Jason, since you're the only one who's had pizza before, why don't you show us how it's eaten?" the head faerie suggested.

"Alright." He picked up one of his slices and held it up. "As y'all can see, once it's cooked everything tends to stay on the pizza, so you don't have to worry about stuff falling off unless you do something silly. Which means," he took a bite, chewed, and swallowed, "all you have to do is eat it."

Then he picked up the other slice of pizza and put it upside down on the first. "Or you can do what Athena was thinking of, and stack them on top of each other. Like a sandwich where the bread is a pair of slices from a large roll rather than a smaller roll cut in half." He bit into the pizza-sandwich, again chewing and swallowing, before setting the second slice back on the plate in front of him.

"Now, it is possible to end up pushing the toppings off the other end as you eat the pizza, if something goes wrong. All you have to do then is just turn it around and start eating from the side where things are starting to pile up. All in all, pizza's pretty easy to eat. Usually, the only thing you have to watch out for is maybe some of the sauce managing to drip off." He took another bite and this time chewed slowly, savoring his first pizza since his graduation. Okay, the basil pesto sauce isn't what we used to, but it's still good. Maybe we should suggest tomato sauce at some point, but this will more than do for now.

Some of the faeries still looked a bit dubious, but Elena, after a sidelong look at him to see if he was paying attention, quickly picked hers up and took a bite. "This is good!" she exclaimed with a smile once she'd swallowed, and immediately took another.

Louise, stacking her slices into an impromptu sandwich, was the second to try the pizza, and when she expressed similar sentiments the rest of the faeries weren't far behind.

Jessica took longer to eat her pizza than the rest, finishing her first slice around the time everyone else was done with their second. "We can make this with leftovers," she mused thoughtfully, picking up her second slice and giving it a considering look. "So it only costs us the price of the bread and sauce to make. We won't have to charge nearly as much for pizza as we do for ice cream."

"Have there been complaints about that?" Jason asked.

"A few. Not everyone can afford the more expensive items, so this will be something for everyone."

"Heh. During busy times, you can probably just sell it by the slice, as it comes out of the oven."

"That is an idea. Jason, since you've finished your pizza, why don't you and Scarron go get the ice cream and bring it in?"

He nodded and stood up, but waited until the two men were in the kitchen before he spoke again. "You own the Inn, but your daughter is really the one who manages it, isn't she?"

Scarron chuckled. "It is so, mon ami! Her mother was better than I at handling the details, and when she passed I tried to be both father and mother-"

"Wait, is that what the voice is about, during business hours?"

"Oui. She was always better at calming down a rowdy taproom." The proprietor sighed. "Playing both parts was too much for me, but Jessica was eager to help, and took some of the burden on herself. Then more of it, and more still. Now she is faerie and manages things as her mother did, and I will be relieved when she stops playing both parts. She will make a good wife and mother, I am sure."

"Uh, yeah." Jason quickly picked up one of the large bowls of ice cream, suddenly eager to escape from the man-to-man talk.

"Of course, she knows that her best choice, at the Inn, is a man with presence in the taproom, but a gentle heart. A keen wit in addition would be most welcome, mon ami."

One week. One friggin' week, and Scarron is giving us his blessing to pursue Jessica. Where were all these girls and approving parents back when we were in college? "Sir, at the very least I need to see how things play out with Siesta."

"Oui. A man should not be inconstant with his regard. But if matters change, mon ami-"

"If matters change, then things are different. But maybe we should be bringing ice cream to the faeries?"

"Oui, oui." Scarron clapped a hand on Jason's shoulder approvingly, picked up the other serving bowl, and they exited to the taproom.

Once they set down their burdens in front of her, Jessica ladled out two large scoop of ice cream – one from each of the serving bowls – into the much smaller bowls that were then passed around to each place. "Don't worry about enjoying the ice cream," she said. "We had a good week this week. Scarron?"

He nodded and headed back into the kitchen.

"Not something I thought I'd have, 'less a noble took a shine to me, slummin'," Ima admitted, using her knife to dig in to her scoop of mint ice cream. "Preserves are good an' all, but this's-" She lifted the dollop of ice cream she'd carved out to her lips and closed her eyes in bliss.

"Are noble estates like this all the time?" asked Elena. "Ice cream with every meal, and ice everywhere to ward off the heat?"

Louise shook her head. "No. A manor is much larger than the Inn, so cooling it all isn't worth the effort. We do make a lot of sherbet in the summertime, though."

Jessica tapped her knife on the table to call everyone's attention. "Faeries . . . and pirate!"

There was another titter.

"You've probably been wondering when we'd do it, or even if we'd do it, with how business has been worse lately-"

"Not anymore!" Corine grinned, and the other faeries cheered.

"Exactly," Jessica said, smiling, once the cheers died down. "Athena, this is a tradition we like to do once a new faerie finds a place here. We might not have, unless things improved, but thanks to your brother they have!

"There's a tradition in my mother's family that, centuries ago, the Faerie King fell in love with one of my ancestors."

[f-a-e-r-i-e k-i-n-g][?]

Louise glanced at him, and shrugged very slightly.

"So heartbroken was he, when she returned to her kinfolk, that he sent her a memento of his regard."

"That memento," Scarron broke in, returning from the kitchen in one of his bouncer outfits (although this one covered more skin than any Jason had yet to see him wear) to stand behind Jessica, "is the Charming Faerie Bustier!"

With that the proprietor pulled his outfit off in one practiced move, revealing the black velvet-and-satin-looking bustier underneath.

My eyes! Someone get me bleach for my eyes!

Scarron went into a body builder pose, incidentally thrusting his loins out – and thank all the angels of mercy he was wearing a codpiece! – and Jason cringed as this image seared itself into his brain.

This is sexy, it seemed to say, and then the man went into another beefcake pose. This is sexy!

Not to us it isn't! He squeezed his eyes shut, then dared a peek at Louise.

His little mistress was staring at Scarron with a luminescent blush and dilated eyes. A glance around the table show similar fascination from the other faeries. Some were even drooling. The only one who wasn't affected was Jessica, and she was probably cheating by sitting with her back to her father.

She noticed Jason's horrified expression and grinned. "This is why I'm facing away when he shows off the Bustier. He may be a fine figure of a man, but he's still my father." She then raised her voice. "Scarron, you can cover up again now."

Her dad laughed, bent over to pick up his outfit – the faeries let out a synchronized sigh – and was soon safe to look at. Well, safer. Jason was still debating the merits of clawing out his eyes, or maybe burning them with a hot poker just to be sure.

"It is a most peculiar nobilia – perhaps even a relic! – for it resizes itself to fit the wearer," Scarron said, sitting back down. "And there is the dweomer of attraction on it, to draw the favorable attention of all who see it."

"This week, we'll have a tip race," Jessica announced. "Whoever wins, is allowed the use of the Bustier for a day. And yes, the tips you get from wearing it can be incredible.

"Now," she said, shifting gears, "let's all finish the ice cream before it melts. After that, the rest of the night is yours to enjoy."

---

"You know, there's one good thing about Scarron being the one to pose in that damned Bustier," Jason confided as he and Louise sat down on their bed. Margaux had brought out a bowl of punch, and he'd thought it best to retire after a single cup revealed that in Tristain, punch apparently meant 'wine diluted by fruit juice' rather than anything non-alcoholic.

"What's that?" his little mistress asked.

"All eyes were on him, as we finished the ice cream and they brought out the punch. Even Elena forgot to flirt with me."

"Oh." She blushed and looked down.

He let himself fall backwards, angling so that he just barely missed the wall as he flopped down onto the bed. "So, attraction. Kirche pulled off something quite a bit more intense, but she had to be close enough to deliver the spell with a kiss. How does this one work?"

"I don't know," Louise confessed, falling backwards to lie next to him, their legs and feet still danging over the side. "I don't think a dweomer should be able to work like that. When do they have it Empowered? And I've never heard of this 'faerie king', either."

"It clearly does. And somehow, the effect is carried through vision," Jason noted. "Jessica was able to stay unaffected by keeping her back to him." He rolled his shoulders and arched his back: Trying to lie on the bed at an angle was turning out to be less comfortable than sitting up.

So he sat back up. "Well, we know what the faeries will all be trying to do next week."

"Elena's going to try her hardest to win the tip race," Louise said darkly, grabbing his arm and pulling herself back up to sit next to him.

"Yeah. Pretty sure they're all going to be motivated to win it." He put his arm around her and gave her a quick squeeze. "You think she's a particular danger?"

"Of course I think she's dangerous! She won't stay away from you." She scowled. "And you said you like blue eyes, didn't you? So you like it when she flirts with you."

"I also said that I'm not going to get hung up on any one feature, if I recall correctly." Jason shrugged. "Besides, she's going to be too busy this week trying to win the use of that damn bustier to have much to do with me."

"And then what if she wins it?!" Louise demanded. "You didn't see it, with Scarron-"

"Yeah I did. And I hope I never see such a disturbing thing again." He shuddered in memory. The muscular sexuality of the other man didn't normally register with him, but apparently the way the dweomer imbued the rays of light bouncing off the wearer with the essence of sexyfine worked no matter how your brain was wired. "At least the effect wears off once you're out of the line of sight."

"Not that much." She gave the door a longing look, then blanched and buried her head in Jason's side.

"You're still affected by it?" He looked down at his little mistress and stroked her hair. "I'm not, particularly, but . . . did you think he was handsome before?"

Louise mumbled something into his ribs. He raised an eyebrow, then pulled her away until he could see her rather flushed face. "Well?"

She blushed a little deeper. "He's, he's like you said, when we arrived. He's 'beefcake'. He could be the villain in one of Siesta's b-books!"

"Ah. Well, you'll just need to keep me out of sight with whoever wins. Anyway, Elena's not going to be a problem for me."

"Good." Louise resumed her snuggle into his side. [w-h-y n-o-t][?]

"Well, doesn't help her efforts that you don't approve. We're in each others' heads, you and I, and what you care about does matter to me."

"Mm." [b-u-t y-o-u d-o n-o-t o-b-e-y m-e]

"I do what I think is best, and no, I don't always agree with you." He put his arms around her and leaned down to kiss the top of her head. "That doesn't mean I'm not loyal to you."

"Hmph."

"But with Elena . . . she didn't try to get to know me before starting to try to catch my eye. So she's not in love with me, she's interested in what I represent. A quick marriage to a man with good circumstances, and if he's the sort to cherish his wife, so much the better."

Louise pulled back just enough to speak clearly. "Isn't that what all commoners want? You heard them at luncheon, it's all about getting married on good terms."

"Yeah, except that Elena's trying to short-cut the process. If she's only been here a little while, her dowry isn't much to speak of, compared to the ones who've been here for a year or more. So she needs to find someone who cares for about her beauty and her pleasant nature than any wealth she could hope to bring to the marriage."

"Someone like you, as part of my household."

"A well-regarded servant to a noble, yes, that's likely to be her best bet. You realize that there's a decent chance she was putting the moves on that one Gaston fellow a month ago, before she decided he wasn't what she wanted?"

"That's what everyone else thinks, too."

"Here's the thing, though. I've got no clue what she likes and doesn't like, aside from a man in good circumstances. She's been very careful to do nothing but agree with me. Even if she was willing to do that all her life, what good is a sycophant?"

"A pretty sycophant."

"Granted. All of you faeries are pretty, after all. But if all she does is echo what I think, she's not the mother I want for any children I'm father to."

"Oh." Louise looked very relieved.

"But obviously that's not actually who Elena is, or she'd still be with the Gaston guy, and quite possibly with child by now. That is the customary use for a pretty girl with an empty head, after all."

His little mistress glared up at him. "I should bite you for that."

"I didn't say I followed that custom, but there's a reason for the joke about a girl finding a man by yelling, 'I'm so drunk!' Again, I want a better mother for my children, but the tale of an easily-seduced woman will catch the attention of no few men, that's for certain. Anyway, like I said, that's not actually Elena.

"Which means that her agreeableness is a mask she's wearing to catch the regard of her target. Me, at the moment. And if she keeps doing that, then I have to pity the man she ends up marrying."

Louise's face grew puzzled. "Because she'll stop being agreeable? Wouldn't that put her husband off, if that's something he likes?"

"Yeah. Exactly. If marriage is a partnership, and with commoners it usually has to be, because you can't afford to keep a ton of servants to handle all the details of running a household. So if marriage is a partnership, then sooner or later, the masks come off, and you each find out what the other person is.

"Which isn't to say that you have to inflict the worst parts of yourself on your spouse. But whatever you keep close to the surface, they'll see, and probably sooner than you'd expect."

He shrugged. "There's a saying among my people that men go into marriage hoping their wives never change, and women go into marriage knowing how they're going to fix their husbands . . . and both end up disappointed. But I suspect that the women don't change nearly as much as they simply let the mask slip, and sooner rather than later. And, heh, fixing anyone, husband or not, hardly ever works."

Louise looked down and didn't respond for a while. Finally:

"So you don't want Elena."

He shrugged again. "I can't trust her, for all that she likely means well. But notice how she and Nicole don't like each other? We need to be able to get along with the faeries while we're here at the Inn. Flatly refusing her advances could lead to a big fight, and a feud, and the easiest way to solve that would be to ask us to leave. So I'm just trying to get through each day without causing trouble."

She frowned. "And you don't think there's anything you can do?"

"As long as I'm the prize to be won, and I can't risk cruel? No, not really. If I were friends with Nicole, she could probably deflect Elena – she seems to be the smarter one of the two, anyway – but she's going to be suspicious of me if I start acting friendly, simply because I am a prize to be won.

"Now, Jessica could keep Elena off me easily enough, but she's made it clear that she wouldn't mind winning me for herself. To put it bluntly, the easiest way for her to hide me behind her skirt is if she has me in her bed."

Louise looked up, met his eyes, blushed, and quickly looked back down again. "W-why can't sh-she help y-you for S-Siesta's sake?"

"Because you're on record as not approving of her – sorry, when I improvised that I was not thinking the implications through – and no one will believe you're that sincere if you suddenly decide that Siesta's the perfect woman for me." He chuckled. "Or, rather, they'll decide that you think the 'perfect' woman for me is whoever happens to be too far away for me to spend time with. Aside from you. And then they might start wondering why a little sister seems so jealous."

"You're supposed to be my only brother. Isn't that enough?"

"Brothers eventually leave and build their own families. That's the way of the world, and necessary for the next generation."

Louise's face scrunched up, like sucking a lemon, for several long moments. Then her eyes widened, and she looked up hopefully. "What if . . . you said on the carriage that maybe we should have pretended to be lovers. What if we do that, admit that you're not my brother and everything?"

He reached over to her face and softly traced her lips with a fingertip, feeling her shiver. "Are you saying that you're prepared to do what lovers do, to persuade the faeries that I'm unavailable?"

His little mistress took a deep breath. "I-"

"Everything?"

She blushed a brilliant red, and shook her head in denial.

"'Cause I don't think that they would take anything less than that seriously. This isn't the Academy. Holding hands and quick, stolen kisses would barely count as flirting here at the Inn. So, no. I suppose I could write to Siesta, asking her to ask Jessica to rein everyone in, but remember that Siesta is not actually my lover. So if one of the faeries pulls me away and claims me as her own, that won't actually get me in trouble with Siesta."

Louise pouted for a moment as her blush slowly faded. Then her face cleared. "What if-?" she asked hopefully, suddenly blushing again. "What if . . . Siesta had this book that she let me borrow, where a boy fell in love with a girl, but the girl loved her sister so dearly that she demanded the boy win both of their hearts, and marry them both like the heathens do. You could, you could tell Jessica that you like her, but you still love Siesta, so she has to persuade Siesta so that both marry you, and-"

Louise trailed off at the look of utter shock on Jason's face, then rallied. "But first you'd send a letter to Siesta, telling her what you're doing, so she can refuse to help Jessica!"

"Wait!" he interrupted. "Are you . . . you realize that at the least I'd have to steal a few kisses with Jessica, to sell my interest in her."

Once again, his little mistress looked like she was sucking on a lemon. But she slowly nodded. "She wouldn't believe it, if you didn't. So I suppose-" She broke off and gave him a worried look. "You think she's prettier than Elena, don't you? Even though she doesn't have blue eyes?"

Little mistress, this a dangerous line of-

But he'd paused too long, and Louise scowled. "You do think Elena's prettier!" she accused.

"No, I-!" Jason paused and sighed. "Alright, if you want me to admit it? Siesta – and Jessica, 'cause they could easily be sisters, maybe even twins – look damned close to perfect, with the shape of both their eyes and their figures. Make 'em as tall as Kirche, get them to take a potion that gives them blue or green eyes and strawberry blonde hair . . ."

He trailed off at the betrayed look his little mistress was giving him.

"I'm sorry." He sighed again. "You do have a prettier face, though." And your ass is a tiny bit cuter than Siesta's, from what we saw, but there's no way we can say that without getting killed. "I'm not falling in love with Jessica, any more than I am with Siesta. But if I had to pretend, and I'd have to start sneaking around with her and stealing trysts when I could, to convince her enough to protect me from the rest of the faeries, I'm not sure I'd be pretending, after very long."

Louise was still giving him the stink-eye. "I would be sure to keep interrupting you!" she pointed out in a growl. "And we'd write to Siesta before Jessica had a chance, so she'd know how to respond-"

"Maybe, but this little farce you've thought of just has so many ways it could go wrong," Jason pointed out. Then another thought struck him. "And even if we wrote her, she's got to be aware of the advantages of marrying well just like her cousin is. Especially after that audit fiasco. So what if we try this, and even manage to pull it off at first, and then everything goes horribly, horribly right?"

"Horribly right?" she repeated. "How could it go-?"

"They're cousins. If Jessica and Siesta agree to share me, they wouldn't be starting a feud between their families. And if Siesta was the one who gave you that book, Jessica might convince her that it's something they could manage in the real world."

"She wouldn't do that!" Louise protested. "Would she?"

"She was waiting to see when I'd try to lie with her as my reward for saving her from Count Motte, and as far as I can tell she'd decided she'd let me rather than risk losing her sanctuary." He shrugged. "She might, even if she's not in love with me. You're my master, so presumably I could afford to keep them in better style than they're accustomed to."

"That's true." His little mistress looked rather disgruntled as she grudgingly agreed with him.

"And then I'd have Jessica and Siesta pressing me between them." Which is quite the flight of fancy, and we're going to stop picturing it right now. Bad imagination! Bad!

Jason shook his head, then turned enough to face Louise and pull her into a hug. "I like having room for you in my life. I don't think there'd be enough of me left over, if I had one of them on each arm."

"So what do we do?" she didn't quite wail into his chest.

"You had the right idea about playing the protective little sister. Just help Jessica keep the rest off me, then make sure to keep her off me as well. Do our job for the princess, don't get entangled, go back to the Academy in a few weeks."

"Then what?" Louise countered, her voice a little muffled and suddenly surprisingly bitter. "Wait for the next girl to try to catch your eye?"

"It's not like I go looking for them, or that I even have time for anyone right now."

She shook her head into his chest, but didn't respond.

Are you upset because you'd rather there notever be another girl? Gotta be willing to reciprocate, then, little mistress. Ready to? Doubt it.
So how do we reassure you, love, whenthe two of us can't pretend to be lovers right now and we don't dare come out and declare ourself to you?

Jason held Louise for a moment longer, casting his thoughts about, and finally an answer presented itself. He cupped her cheek and applied some gentle pressure until she was looking up at him. "Here's a promise for you. When I start seriously courting someone, the very first thing I'll do is ask for your approval."

A mix of emotions crossed her face too fast for him to sort out. Then she closed her eyes for a moment and put her hand over his. "What if I don't approve?"

"When I tell you my choice, if you say 'no, not that one'?" He gave her a wry smile. Which is to say, when we tell you that you're the one we love? "If you say no, I'll take you seriously, even if it breaks my heart."

She looked up at him with enormous, sad eyes, before nodding and burying her face into his chest once more.

"Let's start practicing, now," she finally mumbled. "Even with trying to keep things short, it's taking too long to send each other messages."

"We can do that," Jason agreed, grateful for the change in subject. "Maybe start by doing speed drills on the individual letters, then try to practice some of the shorter words so that we can send them in one burst. If that works, try it with the names of . . ."

---

A/N:
Magic Items: Charming Faerie Bustier – utter bullshit that ought to have been confiscated generations ago. Gonna call it a minor relic, so that even if Jason draws attention to it (inevitably getting it seized) no one will be able to duplicate it.