An American Geek in a Halkeginian Court

by Inner Legions

An American commits cultural appropriation against a hapless Japanese youth. Typical, just typical. WARNING: CONTAINS RAW, GRAPHIC KIPLING. May only be suitable for mature readers.

17. Rumors of War III

Rumors of War, Part III

"Ready to go downstairs?" Jason asked the next morning, once he and Louise were dressed.

She shook her head. "I need to spend some time experimenting with some of the reagents that Princess Henrietta sent with me."

"How come? I thought you had the theory already worked out. Winter holly, and so on."

"The theory, yes," she agreed. "But the more reagents you combine, the more likely you are to get an occulted reaction. If you're lucky, those can be good, but they're more likely to result in side effects, or even be opposed to what you're trying to achieve."

"Then what? I mean, how do you deal with those reactions?"

"If you have a laboratory to work in, there are processes you can use to prepare the reagents to try to reduce a reaction you don't want. Or you try to find a counteractor reagent for the unfortunate reaction, but the new reagent can have it's own occulted reactions." Louise shook her head. "In theory, my design for a wand formulated for Arise should amplify my casting several times over, but I'll be happy if there's any noticeable improvement."

"Really? Why?"

"Because it would mean that the design is likely sound, and then I could work on improve the process, determining the best ways to prepare and refine the reagents to get closer to what's theoretically possible." She frowned. "Except I won't have time for that, so what I'll have to do is turn the project over to Princess Henrietta, and she'll have someone else work on improving the wand design."

"Okay. Hey, why hasn't this been done already? You'd think the ability to have more ice on demand would be something people would want."

"Going to the trouble for a cantrip?" Louise shook her head again. "A noble can have an icehouse constructed on his manor – if his ancestors haven't already – and fill it up during the winter, when it's easier to use Arise to make ice. There's not much point, unless you're trying to make enough ice for commoners as well, and who does that?"

"A regime worried about Reconquista infiltration, apparently, given that Her Highness gave you that bag of supplies to play with." Jason paused. "Does that mean that nobody bothers with wands formulated for any cantrip?"

"A mage who has trouble with Air might have a wand formulated for Levitate, but they wouldn't go out of their way to tell people about it, unless it was because their affinity with another element was a strong one." She frowned, then continued in a grudging tone. "Like how Zerbst has trouble with Water cantrips, even as a Triangle. It's no shame for her to admit it, because it's due to her strong Fire affinity."

"So there are formulations for Levitate, but not for other cantrips?"

"Of course. Who would bother?"

"Seems to me that hedge-mages would find them useful. Like the one Scarron will need to hire when we leave here."

"That's . . . true. Anyways, I need to focus on these reagents, so why don't you head downstairs and see what you can do to help out?" Louise paused, then quickly added: "But stay out of trouble!"

"I'll try to."

---

"Athena let you come down by yourself?" Nicole asked lightly, already working on mixing bread dough. "She must have realized you weren't in any danger today."

"I . . . sorry, I don't follow."

Her smile was sardonic. "Whenever Scarron poses in the Bustier, all of us spend a day or two mooning over him. And then we'll be too busy competing with each other for tips to do anything else."

"Oh."

"Disappointed that Elena won't be clinging to you like a limpet?"

"Since that means Athena won't be upset, no, not really." Jason tilted his head. "You don't seem to be mooning over Scarron. What gives?"

"I've come too far to let a bit of foolishness wreck my life at this stage." Her smile turned a bit salacious. "Even if he does look good enough to eat right up."

Bad mental image. Bad! "Ugh, please, don't say stuff like that."

Nicole gave him an odd look, then smirked. "Were you bothered by looking at him, last night?"

"I don't normally pay attention to other men. So, yeah, having it demand my attention like that was a bit disconcerting." He raised an eyebrow. "It doesn't bother the rest of you faeries when one of you wears the Bustier?"

"We're always comparing ourselves to each other. Who looks the best in her costume that day, who has something out of place, who manages to get through the night with the least muss. Having one of us be impossibly pretty because she's wearing the Bustier?" Nicole tossed her head, sending her rich, brown curls bouncing. "It's annoying to compare yourself against someone like that, but I just remind myself that the next day she'll be back to normal. And none of them, not even Jessica, do what I do in the taproom."

"Um, sorry? Keep in mind that I'm either in the back doing dishes or playing the pirate to quell the rowdy. What is your strategy for tips?"

"In a word, refinement," she replied in a cool, lofty voice. "I act like a lady of quality, a queen among faeries. It work on customers who fancy themselves of higher station than they really are, and they'll tip heavily to try to pretend that they're well-off, when they'd normally refuse to tip by claiming inferior service."

He blinked. "Does that happen a lot?"

"A customer who thinks having a wand means he's more cunning than any silly commoner?" Nicole's expression turned cynical. "What do you think?"

"I'd figure bad tippers would find themselves getting bad service, eventually."

"True, but we commoners can only go so far when it comes to mages. None of us have noble half-sisters looking out for us."

"Yeah, but so far she hasn't had to protect me from the nobles."

Nicole didn't respond for a moment, then smirked again. "True enough, and it has been most diverting to watch."

"What's been diverting?" Louise asked, coming down the stairs, a frown upon her face.

"Watching me try to keep my virtue intact when I'm surrounded by a bunch of husband-hunters," Jason said with a wry smile. "I suppose, from the outside looking in, it would seem kinda funny."

"Quite farcical," the brunette agreed.

Louise looked thoughtful. "It could almost be a setup for one of the books the maids read, now that I think about it."

"Not really," Jason shook his head, still smiling. "I'd have to have bedded at least three of the faeries by now, for it to be one of those books."

She giggled. "I did say 'almost'." Then she sighed.

"The experiments didn't work?"

"No, they worked. But they worked by showing that there are about twice as many occulted reactions as I hoped there'd be, and that's just when I was testing three reagents together at a time. I'll do what I can, but this formulation will need a proper alchemical lab before it's done."

"What's this?" Nicole asked. "Is something going on that doesn't have to do with the tip race?"

"I won't be here forever," Louise pointed out. "I'm not saving up for a dowry, after all. And a hedge-mage won't be as strong as I am without a lot of practice. So I'm trying to create a wand formulated to enhance Arise."

"'Arise'?"

"The spell that makes ice," Jason clarified. "It can make both ice and steam, and they both rise above water, so that's the name for it. Speaking of which: Nicole, have you been tested for magical talent before?"

"What?" She asked, looking confused for a moment before she got her expression under control. "No, why would I?"

"Dunno, but . . . okay, people with obvious magic become nobles, but there are still hedge-mages, right? So there's lesser levels of magic talent that are useful. And with all of you faeries as a random sample, I'd expect to find at least a couple of faeries with trainable magic."

Nicole's eyes shot up. "They say hedge mages might test dozens of prospects to find an apprentice, if they don't hear of someone who awakened their magic on their own. Why would there be two hidden here?"

Louise grimaced. "They're probably looking for apprentices who match their own magic, since those would be the easiest to train. I'm going to look for any magical talent, and I probably have better training in magical theory." She paused, then added: "It'd be best if we could find someone here who can learn to cast Arise, though."

Nicole tossed her head once, brown curls bouncing again. "I wouldn't mind finding out I could learn magic, even if it's just a thing or two. I daresay that's true for all of us. What do I need to do?"

"I'm going to ask Jessica to let me set up in the taproom, then I'll test everyone who wants to be tested. We should be done in time to open up for business."

"Well, you do that, then."

---

"Jason, can you come into the taproom?" Louise asked a little while later.

He looked up from the ice cream he was stirring. "Uh, Jessica? Can I get a substitute?"

She nodded. "Sonja, take over."

The Germanian faerie stepped in, and he was able to follow Louise. [w-h-a-t is it][?]

"I need to calibrate the circle," Louise replied, pointing to a large circle she'd drawn in the floor. Various designs – presumably arcane – decorated it. "I've already tested it for myself, now I need you to try it. Just like when you tested for magic as a child." [i will g-u-i-d-e you t-h-r-o-u-g-h it]

She handed him a wand that was noticeably fancier than the one she normally used.

"When did you get this?" he asked. "I haven't ever seen you use it."

Louise glowered at the more ornate wand. "A couple of weeks ago, at breakfast, as a reward for improving. Mother and Father don't have my Name yet, so they weren't able to send it to me directly. It's supposed to make you stronger in all of the elements, but it doesn't like me, so I've just been using my old wand."

That got a raised eyebrow. "It doesn't 'like' you?"

"It doesn't want to work for me." She growled. "It works for every other mage who's tried to use it, but not me!"

"Ah. Uh, did they happen to say anything about me?"

Louise winced. "It's . . . good that you've been able to help me."

And good that we're not humping like rabbits, presumably.

"That's all they said about Jason?" Jessica's voice came from the doorway. They turned to face her, and she smiled sympathetically. "I'm sorry. Not being properly acknowledged because you can't use magic must hurt."

"I . . . would like to be on good terms with him," he replied, doing his best to sound wistful. "If only because it affects things between Athena and myself."

"And with who Jason is, he should have his own magic," Louise said. "Even if we haven't been able to find it. But sometimes it takes time to awaken, so we'll test him again, and if he still doesn't show anything I'll at least be able to calibrate the circle properly."

---

The series of exercises that he performed at her promptings did nothing, as he'd half-expected. For while discovering that his familiar powers was magic would have been nice, and it would have made a certain amount of sense for a human familiar's magic to be human magic, it seemed that was not the case.

Once he was back in the kitchen, stirring ice cream, the faeries went one by one into the taproom, standing in the circle and doing as Louise directed them, and last of all Scarron stepped in to try his luck. Then everyone gathered to hear the verdict.

His little mistress frowned at the sheet of bark paper she'd been taking notes on. "Scarron and Jessica, I'm sorry, but there doesn't seem to be any magic in your family. Not even a hint."

Jessica looked a little disappointed, but not particularly surprised.

Scarron shrugged. "My father was not of Halkagenia. Little surprise that we lack the blood of nobles, oui?"

"Wait," Jason said. "You're Siesta's uncle by blood? Sorry, I don't mean to be rude, but your eyes aren't-" He broke off. "Sorry."

"Non, non, it is well," the proprietor assured him. "The eyes that are so exotic, they missed me, but my daughter has them. Thank Brimir, it quieted some old gossip about my paternity, when she was born. Athena, if you will?"

Louise nodded. "Eugina, you have some talent with Air. Enough that you should have been noticed, along with your sisters. Does their teacher have an Earth affinity?"

The tall blonde nodded. "Is that important?"

"Yes. Mages often struggle one of the elements, usually the one that opposes their affinity, and hedge-mages don't have the best training." Louise grimaced. "They often don't have much training at all, from what I hear. Just practice the few spells they can cast, and-"

She shook her head. "You probably can't afford it right now, if all your tips have to support your sisters, but once they're done you should see about getting trained yourself. I – I can tell you some good books to buy, if you want to make sure you know what you're doing better than most hedge-mages. And we can see what cantrips you might be able to start practicing on your own."

Eugina nodded thoughtfully.

"Ima, Roxane, you both have some affinity with Water. Not much, but we'll want to test to see if either of you can manage Arise so you can make ice. If you can, you might not even need to be a faerie anymore, if you don't want to."

Both girls looked surprised, but not at all displeased.

Jessica nodded. "Athena's right. We need someone to make ice more than we need any one faerie. Athena, you don't even need to be a faerie anymore-"

Louise shook her head. "Like Jason said when we arrived, it's good for me to learn this, so I'll keep doing it. Liliane, I think you have some traces of Fire, but not enough to learn more than a cantrip or two."

The tall plumlock smiled. "Even that much will help, persuading my parents."

"Then we'll test to see if we can figure out what those cantrips are. Therese, I think you have a little bit of Earth. Enough for a cantrip or two, like Liliane."

The Gallian girl nodded. "Useful," she said in her accented voice.

"That's everyone I could find," Louise concluded. "The rest of you might have some potential, but you'd have to be tested by an expert, maybe someone from the Academy, and at most you'd be able to manage a cantrip or two after a great deal of practice."

There was a low murmur of disappointment from the faeries who hadn't been singled out, until Jessica clapped her hands.

"No complaining!" she chided. "We've lived without magic all our lives, we can keep on living just fine. And even Eugina isn't going to be joining the nobility, or am I mistaken?"

Louise shook her head. "No, you're not. Eugina, you could attempt the Summoning Rite if you want to – the Spring Equinox is best for it – but I don't think you'd be rewarded with a familiar. Still, you can try it next year if you like."

"I might," replied the blonde, with a small smile. "It'd make for an even better surprise for my family, that much is certain."

"It's up to you. Now, testing for which cantrips you can learn-" Louise bit her lip, looking uncertain. "I need to do some figuring. I'll want to design a different circle for each element, so I'll work out the best circle for water and we'll test Ima and Roxane once I'm ready."

"Why doncha have circles like them already worked out, comin' from th' Academy?" Ima asked, sounding a mite suspicious.

She responded with a pained smile. "Because if you're going to the Academy, you aren't limited to just a few cantrips. Even someone like me, with control issues, can learn any cantrip if I spend enough time practicing it."

"And that's the dividing line between hedge-mages and nobles," Jessica nodded. "Nobles get to learn all the spells. My cousin Siesta sometimes writes about the things she's seen, and I don't know what to believe or not, they're so incredible."

"The first week we were there at the Academy," Jason put in, "we saw some Second Form students practicing the Fireball spell, casting up into the air. It was quite a sight. The teachers are even more impressive, when they want to be. So Siesta's probably not making very much up, if at all."

The head faerie nodded. "Alright, everyone, this has been very informative but we've got a tip race to prepare for. Hop to it!"

Scarron and the other faeries scattered.

"Jessica?" Louise then asked, before she could leave the taproom.

"Yes, Athena?"

"Why was everyone dressed up yesterday? Those weren't the faerie costumes, but everyone was still-"

"Colorful?" Jessica smiled. "When we're not working, there's not a one of us who doesn't like to dress up a little."

"But, in the kitchen-"

"When we're preparing food we wear clothing that we don't mind getting a little dirty. Haven't you noticed that we wear nicer clothes when we go out?"

"No." Louise scowled. "You mean I don't have to wear this?" She plucked at her peasant dress.

"A dress that belongs on a country commoner? Not if you don't want to, and I can't imagine you would. Fabric tough enough to wear on a farm itches, after all."

"Yes. It does."

Jessica laughed. "Come with me. We'll go unpack the dresses I wore when I was younger, and see what you can borrow today. Tomorrow you can go shopping for something a little less obvious."

"Obvious?"

"That you're a noble trying to disguise yourself, and not comfortable with what you're wearing? Let's go, Athena, we'll have you feeling better about what you're wearing in no time. Jason, I'm sure the ice cream needs some prompt attention."

---

When Jessica and Louise came back down the stairs, the latter was clad in a light brown dress, with green ruffles on the sleeves and collar. Jason raised an eyebrow. "Going for more plant colors?"

"That's what works well with green hair," Jessica said. "Green, brown, and lighter grays. That white peasant dress worked well enough, but forest colors are what truly suit a verdetress."

"Ah." He shrugged. "Me silly man. Me no comprehend color schemes."

"We already knew that," she smirked. "If you did, you'd be wearing forest colors yourself."

Jason blinked. "Seriously?"

"With dark brown hair? You want fall colors, brown and orange and red, but it's still based on trees and their leaves. That white shirt of yours just makes your skin look blotchy."

"Eh, that's also from me getting some sun, but not enough to turn my skin olive."

"Oh? Is that how it works for you?"

"Yeah, ruddy and blotchy when I'm avoiding the sun, olive when I'm not."

Jessica nodded. "You still want the same colors. Maybe tomorrow the two of you should go to the market and see what you can find?"

"Uh, okay."

---

"It's not just the extra tips the Bustier brings in, you know," Margaux confided cheerfully, hands flying as she prepared her ingredients for the expected opening rush with practiced skill.

"What is it, then?" Jason asked, when it was clear that the short verdetress was waiting for either him or Louise to take the bait.

"Why, it's a chance to impress a man that you've got an eye on!"

His little mistress stiffened, and stepped a little closer to him.

He rolled his eyes. "Yeah, we kinda figured that out already."

"Aw! That spoils the fun."

"Fun." Jason rolled his eyes again. "I'm guessing you have some gossip to share?"

Margaux grinned and nodded. "We had a faerie named Madeline up until a little while ago, and she won the last tip race. Well, came in second behind Jessica, but no one beats Jessica, so she always passes the Bustier to the runner up. Anyway, Madeline had her eye on a boy, and she thought he might like her, but he was always polite. Never grabbed, never presumed – and she wouldn't have turned down some presumption, at least from him!

"Then the tip race happened, and Madeline used every trick she'd ever learned to cadge tips." Margaux winked. "Late in that week, Nicole and I agreed with each other that we'd let her get ahead of us, since she wanted it so much, and she managed to take second behind Jessica. So she had the Bustier for a night, whenever she chose it.

"It was great fun to watch, too! She saw him come in with his friends, and hurried to put on the Bustier before anyone else could claim their table. Although Jessica made it clear that we weren't going to poach them from her, even when a couple of them started to get impatient for service.

"Then she came out, and in a snap everyone had their eyes on her. The taproom was actually quiet as she glided over to his – what was his name? Raoul? I think Raoul – to his table." Margaux laughed. "You could hear groans of disappointment from half the tables when she stopped next to him and asked how she could serve him."

"Asked how she could . . . oh, dear." Jason shook his head. "Bet that got ribald quick."

"Well, his friends made some suggestions, but Raoul himself was tongue-tied and blushing, and couldn't manage to stammer out his order unless he looked away from her. And she was very attentive. Merciful Brimir, half the taproom was wishing he'd pull her into his lap just to get it over with, but he never did. The most he did that night was give her a quick kiss on the cheek when she got up into his face and asked him if he had anything else for her before he left . . . but the very next day, before we were even open, he came back to see her, and they started stepping out together."

"It was adorable," Jessica commented as she entered the kitchen and looked around, "watching him work up his nerve to take any kind of liberties. And a little frustrating for her, I think. But she did convince him in the end that she liked him just as much as he liked her. I hear they just had it confirmed that their first child is on the way, too."

"That's . . . they're still happy together, right?" Jason asked.

Jessica nodded. "From what I hear, very much so."

"That's great, then. Good to hear of something like that working out."

"Yes," Louise agreed in a flat tone. "Jason, come with me into the washroom, I need you to help me fix my costume."

He allowed himself to be dragged into the washroom, ignoring the amused looks of both Margaux and Jessica.

"Your costume's fine, Athena. So what did you really want?"

"Did you hear that?" Louise hissed.

"Yeah. Makes sense, too. If Jessica keeps winning these things, pretty soon the other faeries would just see it as a sham, and no one would care about the tip race."

"No, not that! This Madeline used the Bustier to catch the eye of her husband-to-be! And now you're going to be here, and-"

"I doubt we have anything to be worried about. Didn't we just find out that Margaux and Nicole the two best faeries, after Jessica?"

"You think Elena won't be trying her hardest this time?! We talked about this last night."

"Well, maybe . . . okay, probably. But they all will, just for the hope of good tips. And even if half the faeries have an eye on me, Margaux and Nicole don't, and they're still the two best after Jessica. Do you really think Nicole's going to stand aside for Elena, the way those two dislike each other?"

Louise scowled. "That's not good enough." She stood up straight, to the full height of her . . . well, it was possible that she was making progress towards 5'1". "I'm going to have to make sure I'm in second place, so I can keep them all from abusing the Bustier."

"Okay, if you want to. I hope you do well."

"I'll have to." With that, she stalked off to change into her costume.

"She's getting into the spirit of the competition, isn't she?" Jessica commented, stepping into the washroom.

"I guess." Jason sighed. "Don't tell me. This is one of those times where faeries are more prone to getting into fights with each other?"

"It's happened, yes. And the taproom will be rowdier in general, with how hard everyone will be trying to cadge tips. Scarron will keep alert, of course, but I think it's a good idea for the Brute to be a presence in the taproom this week as well."

He rolled his eyes. "Alright, makes sense. And at least I won't be sweating as much in the taproom, with all the ice hidden around."

"Oh, we're all happy about the ice," Jessica assured him.

---

You're staring, fool. Stop doing that.

Jason deliberately turned his head, looking over the rest of the taproom from his position by the kitchen door, before his eyes were inevitably drawn back to Louise. Who, if she wasn't quite draping herself over the customer that she was attending to, nonetheless was acting friendly in a way that he'd never seen from her. Except, that is, with him sometimes, when they were alone together.

You're doing it again. Stop acting the jealous git and look somewhere else!

"It's a good thing that mask hides your expression," Jessica commented, coming out the kitchen and making him jump. "Glaring like that would be a problem if you didn't have something to hide it."

"Sorry." Busted! He looked down at her. "Was I being that obvious?"

"No, only up close."

"Yeah." He sighed. "Well, at least Athena's learned how to do it well."

"What have I learned?" Louise asked, approaching the kitchen.

"Oh, we were just commenting that all the time you've spent in your bedroom with Jason, practicing flirting, has clearly paid off."

Louise stared at Jessica for a moment, then at her familiar, blushed furiously, and fled into the kitchen.

"Hmm." Jessica smiled up at him with an amused, speculative look, before sauntering off to her customer, putting an extra wiggle into her hips that in her sheer faerie costume he could not help but notice . . . along with a good quarter of the customers, by the sudden cheers and whistles.

Argh! This week is going to drive us crazy!

---

"Well, that's certainly a bigger pile of coins than you get when you're being coy." Jason smiled, standing next to his little mistress as they looked at her take, piled on the small table in their bedroom. "How's your rank?"

Louise looked like she wanted to spit. "Twelfth," she muttered, then continued in a snarl: "And that's with Margaux and Therese in the kitchen! I'm in last place!"

"Oh." He winced. "But this is more than you were making by being coy, so flirting with customers is working."

"Not like it is for everyone else!" she practically wailed.

He reached out an arm and pulled her in for a quick hug. "Yes, but they have more practice with it. You're still learning, you can't expect to match people who've been doing this for anywhere from months to years."

Louise stiffened and shrugged his arm off. "No! That is not acceptable! I'll have to practice harder. Jessica gave me two more things to work on, and we will practice them tonight until I get them right!"

"Uh, okay. But will one night of practice be enough?"

She hunched inward. "No," she said in a sulky tone, "but I won't be in the taproom tomorrow. Jessica wants me to do my day in the kitchen. I'll be even farther behind!"

"Yeah, but everyone does a day in the kitchen, right? So you should have time to make it up. And isn't the last day the busiest? Won't that be the best day to make up tips? So you'll have your chance like everyone else, and now you have an extra day to practice."

"That's . . . that's a good way of looking at it," Louise admitted. "Sit down on the bed and let's get started."

That's what she . . . no, no, let's not joke about that right now. "Hang on a bit. Did you hear anything that needs to be reported to Henrietta? You know, our actual job?"

She stopped short. "There was a man who was telling me that I wouldn't have to debase myself like this for much longer. He didn't say why, just that things would be exciting, and I'd like it much better. That could be a plot to overthrow the throne, right?"

"Um, I suppose. Or it could be that he has a taste for girls who look young. Jessica thinks you're about fourteen, after all." Jason flushed. After all, unless the length of the local year was long enough to make a difference, at sixteen Louise was still young enough to be jailbait back in Texas. His parents were not likely to approve. Hell, Dad would probably kick our ass. And this doesn't seem like a good time to ask.

Louise shuddered, shaking with such fervor that her green tresses swung back and forth. "He looked twice my age! If not older!"

"Yeah. Point him out and I'll keep an eye on him. Anyone else?"

"No. But the other faeries say that there are some new faces, now that we're selling ice cream. Maybe they'll say something I can report. Anyway, on the bed!"

No, no, she isn't trying to practice innocent-sounding innuendo. Ignore it, it'll pass.

He sat down. Louise stood in front of him, and closed her eyes for a moment. When she opened them, she opened them as wide as she could, staring at him, with her mouth also slightly open.

"I-is everything okay?" Jason asked, after she stayed that way for several seconds.

She scowled. "No! It was supposed to seem like I was completely absorbed in you!"

"Oh. Wide, shining eyes, and all that?"

Louise nodded.

"A little too wide, I think. Like you were staring, rather than gazing raptly."

She scowled again.

"Also, with me you just have to bury your head in my side to have my full attention. Anyway, I, uh, I think maybe you need to practice that one in front of a mirror. The changing rooms have them, right?"

Louise sagged. "Fine, I'll work on it tomorrow. But you can help me work on this next one, at least!"

"By all mean. What is it?"

She stepped forward until her legs were against the bed, almost intertwined with his own. Then she reached out and put a hand on each shoulder, leaning forward.

"Uh, little mistress?" he asked, his voice going a bit high-pitched as her lips approached. Then she ducked aside at the last second, her cheek brushing his with a tingle that didn't seem to want to go away.

"Welcome to the Charming Faerie Inn, Mister DeBrout," she whispered into his ear. "How would you like me to serve you?"

Then she pulled back abruptly. "No, that was wrong," she said in a normal voice.

"Well, I could understand you, at least," Jason said, smiling slightly. "What are you trying to do?"

"Jessica says I should make my voice sound 'breathy'. But that wasn't-"

"That was nothing but the breathy part."

Louise nodded. "She said it's supposed to be my 'bedroom' voice, but that's not what she really means-" She paused, flushing.

"She means the voice you'd use when you're welcoming a lover to your bed."

"Yes. And then she said I needed to practice until I got it right! How am I supposed to do that when I don't have a lover to welcome!"

"By practicing on me or Scarron until we tell you that you're doing it right. And it's probably best to practice on me, since we do have time before bed."

Louise nodded. "That's what she said."

Jason blinked. She didn't just . . . no, there's no way that idiom exists here! He shook his head. "Don't worry, I'm here for you. This may be hard tonight-" No, no, no more sleazy puns! "-but you'll learn it, and by the time you're done you'll have a way to thrill a man in a way that Kirche hasn't ever bothered to learn."

Her eyes went wide in genuine surprise. "I will? Doesn't she – when she dragged you off, she didn't-"

"She goes for sultry, rather than breathy. It works, don't get me wrong, but it's not as subtle as what Jessica wants you to learn. It suits how you look a little younger, for that matter."

Louise was still for a moment, then nodded. "I'm going to try again, now."

Gonna be a long night, Jason thought as she leaned in once more. And lying next to her, afterward, we're probably gonna need every calming technique we know to fall asleep before dawn.

---

"Wake up!"

Louise was shouting in his ear, it felt like. And sounding far too cheerful about it. He groaned.

"Come on!" she demanded, and then he felt his body rise and tilt upright as she cast Levitate.

"Okay, I'm awake, please set me down gently," he said with another groan, cracking open his eyes. "What are you doing up this early?"

"This isn't early," Louise contradicted him, slowly lowering him until his feet touched the floor. "You slept in!"

"Oh." He shook his head to try to clear the cobwebs. "Damn, I should have gotten some tea by now. I could use something to wake up."

"Yes, you could." She scowled up at him, but the corners of her mouth were curled up a bit. "I used Awaken on you twice, and both times you went back to sleep."

"Sorry. It took me a while to get to sleep last night."

"Well, hurry up and get dressed. We need to buy something better to wear, and I still need to practice my face before the Inn opens!"

"Right." He groaned a third time as he started to dress, skipping his morning exercises. We'll do 'em when we get back from shopping. Ugh. Shopping.

As soon as Jason was dressed, Louise took his hand and dragged him (well, she was pulling as hard as she could without using magic, he was sure) out of the bedroom, down the stairs, and out of the Inn into the streets.

"Do you know where we're going?" he asked as they set out.

She nodded. "Jessica told me where there's a market with some second-hand clothing sellers. She says they'll need mending, and maybe even something to cover stains and such." Louise frowned. "I'll see if I can't Scour them clean, but we'll have to trade with Eugina for the needlework. Maybe I can give her some lessons in magic theory?"

"If the mending is simple enough, I should be able to handle that part," Jason offered. "Mom made sure I knew how to do basic repairs, before I left for the university."

"Good! And Jessica mentioned that you should be able to buy some tea bricks there, too. If you still want to try that."

"Yeah, I do. If for no other reason than that I'll need some when we get back, to help me wake up."

Louise nodded again, and at the pace she was setting, they were soon at the market.

---

Purchasing tea bricks had gone quickly and smoothly. The clothes shopping of their second not-a-date, not so much.

He was doing his best to make allowances. Louise would obviously want good clothes to wear, after all, but in a pre-industrial society the natural inclination would be to wear clothing as long as possible. So he'd expected that she'd have to sort through quite a bit of dross, fit only for rags, to find a few worth purchasing.

The process was still mind-numbingly tedious as he followed his little mistress from cart to cart. The only consolation was that she was being picky, so even when she'd finished he wasn't loaded down like some poor schmuck who'd been dragged to the mall by an over-eager girlfriend with a parent-backed credit card. Not even close.

"Only two dresses?" Louise shook her head in disgust as she led him back to the Inn. "Even for commoners, that's absurd."

"That's what we get for buying used rather than new. At least they were cheap, right?"

"There's that, yes. And finding a nicer chemise as well was a stroke of good fortune. I'm sorry we were only able to find one set of clothes in your size, though."

"I'll be fine with that." He hesitated, then shrugged. "I'm pretty sure I can repair my new shirt and breeches. But you're probably going to want to work something out with Eugina for the dresses. My needlework would be . . . fairly obvious."

"Well, I'll see if she'll take magic lessons. She can use my good wand, since it doesn't like me, and I think I can make her one that's good for air." Louise stopped for a moment, then resumed walking before Jason could bump into her. "Or I'll send a bird to the Academy, asking for a copy of Aurius's classic formulation. That would work better for her than anything I could devise on my own, and she'll want to focus on Air cantrips anyway."

"Sounds like a plan," Jason said as they turned a corner and the Inn came into view. "Shall I take all this up to our room while you go practice your alluring expressions?"

Louise looked up at him a bit suspiciously, but then a smile quirked her lips and she nodded.

---

A few hours later, Jason visited the kitchen for some of his honey-water, having just growled yet another overly amorous customer into submission. But before he could make it to where his flagon was kept, out of the way of the bustle of the endless cooking and whatnot, Louise leaning against him like a limpet.

"Something wrong?" he asked as she buried her head against him.

"Too many vegetables!" she half-moaned, half-wailed into his chest.

"We started Athena with scrubbing the dirt off," Jessica commented. "And her cleaning spell isn't quite up to managing it without taking off half the edible part. So she's been having to do it by hand, instead." She bit her lip, clearly trying not to smile. "It's another thing that tends to be a shock for nobles. Holding a wand may keep a hand nice and soft, but-"

Louise pulled her head out of Jason's chest to look up at him mournfully. "I'll need to brew a salve tonight just to fix my hands from all that washing!" she declared, thrusting her wand-hand in his face. Which, yes, did look rather raw and ill-used.

"Like the bruise tonic you made me?" he asked. "Got what you need for it?"

Louise nodded. "But it hurts now, and I haven't even begun to learn Numb."

"Which one's that?"

"It's a Fire cantrip, but it's not one of the First Form cantrips. So I have to learn those first."

"Ah." He looked at Jessica. "She about done with the veggies?" More precisely, are you done hazing her tonight?

The head faerie nodded. "Close enough. I don't want her holding a knife while her hands are sore and clumsy, though. Maybe she can keep the stew stirred?"

"Maybe." But even holding a wand and using Flow, that would be painful for her. He looked down at Louise. "How long would it take you to brew that salve of yours?"

"Not even an hour," she said. "Not even half that. I told you before, it's an easy one."

"Does that work for you?" He asked Jessica. "Give her a break to get her hands fixed up, then carefully show her how to use knives?"

"Oh, we will be careful," she assured him. "Like you said last week, no one wants a finger in their food. But yes, Athena will be a little more use that way tonight."

"Right." He detached Louise, turned her around, and gave her a little push towards the stairs. "You go make that salve. I need to drink my pirate juice and get back out into the taproom."

---

"Are your hands going to be fine tomorrow?" Jason asked Louise that night, as they got ready for bed.

"They're already much better," she replied, then paused. "Were you able to listen to anything tonight in the taproom?"

"No," he shook his head. "When I get close to people, it's to intimidate. They weren't about to share anything to me."

"Then it's good that I only have to do this once a week." Louise sighed. "What if we don't hear anything?"

"You've already heard rumors," Jason pointed out, as they lay down on the bed and pulled the blanket up. "I'm sure Princess Henrietta is having someone look into those. Beyond that, just keep your ears open and we'll see what happens."

"Mm." She didn't say anything else as she laid her head against his shoulder. Tonight, he was tired enough that it didn't take hardly any time at all to fall asleep.

---

"So this is your 'sweet tea'?" Jessica asked as Jason added honey and a pinch of salt to the small pot of water that he was watching.

"Hopefully," he replied, adding the tea leaves as the water started to boil. "Tea is supposed to be a bit on the bitter side, so I'm hoping the salt helps with that. But we'll see."

"Well, just keep stirring the ragout while you're by the stove."

---

"Aha!" Jessica exclaimed. "That's why the tea shop doesn't serve cold tea. They'd have to have a noble to provide the ice."

"Well . . . yeah, pretty much." Jason smiled sheepishly as he set the impromptu teapot into the bed of ice that Louise had just provided. "Sorry, I guess that's one difference it's easy to get tripped up on. I'm used to ice being at least somewhat available."

---

"That's . . . interesting." The head faerie smacked her lips thoughtfully, and took another sip. "Not bad. Scarron still doesn't want to have anything to do with tea, though."

"That's alright," he replied. "As long as you guys don't mind me having tea."

"We don't," she reassured him with a fetching smile.

---

[Jason][Help][Urgent]

He was in the kitchen, sipping on some iced sweet tea that he'd added a lot honey to, when he got the call. Two seconds later he was in the taproom.

There was something going on by the bar, with Scarron doing his best to separate the-

[No][n-o-t the b-a-r][!][the d-o-o-r][!]

He looked to the entrance, to see a man pulling a small, cloaked figure outside.

[Louise][c-l-o-a-k][?] He was already moving, just to be safe.

[Yes][Help][Urgent]

He sped up, no longer bothering to avoid crashing into anything, and was out the door just seconds behind the other two.

Still he was nearly too late. A pair of horses were waiting, and the man now had a wand out, and was Levitating the cloaked figure onto one of the horses.

Lips bared into a grimace, Jason sprinted across the few feet separating them and crashed into the man. The cloaked figure dropped to the ground as Jason bowled the other man over, breaking his concentration.

But not, unfortunately, the man's grip on his wand. "How dare you?!" he snarled as he pushed himself up and got to his feet. "My daughter and I want nothing to do with this house of licentiousness, and you dare attempt to waylaid-"

His tirade was cut short as Jason stepped forward and seized the wand, yanking it out of the mage's hand. "If I'm mistaken, I'll apologize most heartily," he snarled.

"You, you commoner filth, you think you can touch my wand! I'll see you flogged and hung! I'll see you-"

He stopped short as Jason pulled the cloak from the figure on the ground, revealing Louise, gagged, with her hands bound in front of her. She looking spitting mad, and started to try to get up.

"Your daughter?" Jason asked mildly, suddenly so furious that he felt cold. "You try to steal away my sister, and you think to intimidate me?"

"So what if she's your sister?" the mage sneered. "Spending her days being felt up an endless parade of strangers, what kind of brother would allow that? You'll have her spreading her legs for them when she's a bit riper, the way you commoner filth carry on. Better to let me have her, boy. I'll cherish her more than you ever did, and keep her safe from other men. Now hand over that wand, and I'll think about sparing your life."

"Yeah, I'll do that," Jason said, stepping forward.

The mage smiled in triumph and held out his hand expectantly, only to cry out in pain as Jason swung and connected with his nose.

"Agghhhhh!" the mage cried out, clapping his hands to his face and then staring at the blood that dripped on them. "You broke by dose!"

"That's not the only thing I'll break, if you don't get the hell out of here!" Damn but that had felt good, even if his fist hurt a little.

"What is this, mon ami?" Scarron's voice called from the entrance to the Inn. Jason turned to see him standing there in the doorway, with several customers behind him looking on in curiosity.

"He was trying to kidnap Athena," Jason growled.

"I told you filth, I'd take better care of her thad you!" The mage was back on his feet . . . but so was Louise, and she hurried over to Scarron, who produce a knife and began working on her bindings.

"Right. By hiding her away and raping her." Jason snapped the wand over his knee. "Leave."

The mage glared – although the bleeding nose didn't help his attempt to look intimidating – and mounted one of the horses. "I'll have your licedse revoked!" he threatened. "All of you, out od the streets!" With that, he galloped off.

"Mon ami," Scarron said mildly. "It is not wise to antagonize the nobles, oui? I hope you have a clever plan to deal with this."

"Athena?" Jason asked. "Are you all right?"

Louise, now freed, still looked pissed as hell, but nodded.

"Good. Scarron, do you know who that was?"

"Oui, Dion de Sauvage. And yes, he can make trouble for us."

"That's fine. Just write down everything you know about him."

"And then what, mon ami?"

Jason smiled, feeling rather predatory. "And then Athena and I will go send a letter." If that doesn't work, we'll simply have to be Christlike and find a millstone!

---

[d-i-d not h-a-v-e wand][,][why][?]

They were making their way rather quickly towards the birdhouse. And Louise was most definitely carrying her wand now.

[h-a-v-e not n-e-e-d-e-d it in taproom][,][h-a-b-i-t]

"I think that from now on, you need to start carrying even as a faerie."

"Oh, I will."

"Good. Now, seriously, are you all right? That had to be a shock."

Louise stopped, and glared up at Jason as he stopped and looked down at her.

"H-how d-d-dare he?!" she snarled, but at least it was clear that she was shaking in rage and not fright.

"He's a noble, you were presenting as a commoner, and he likely figured that once he had you out of sight he was away free and clear." Jason paused. "Just to be sure, because I am foreign – trying to kidnap a commoner would be illegal, right? Without any contract shenanigans to provide cover?"

She nodded curtly.

"Good. Figured as much, but good to be sure." He hesitated. "You're not panicking. And that's great, but what was your plan? How were you going to deal with this?"

Louise took in a deep breath with flared nostrils. "As soon as she got her hands on a wand, Eléonore would drive a spike through his loins, and Cattleya would conjure acid. Mother never trained me for kidnapping attempts, because I couldn't cast before I summoned you, but an explosion should work just as well."

Jason grinned toothily. "Ah. Now that is a proper attitude for a young lady. Anyway, come on, we need to report this."

She gave him another curt nod and they resumed their fast walk.

[l-e-t-t-e-r to Henrietta to s-a-v-e Inn][?]

[yes].[and Reconquista l-i-n-k]

[what l-i-n-k][?]

[r-a-p-i-s-t][,][bad][,][s-e-c-r-e-t].[b-l-a-c-k-m-a-i-l][,][r-e-c-r-u-i-t for Reconquista]

"Oh." There was a pause, although Louise didn't slow down. "You think so?"

"If you're going to infiltrate, true believers are best, but people who have something to hide are easier to recruit once you know their secrets, and they usually have fewer scruples." Jason smiled grimly. "In my homeland, there are certain sects that encourage ascetic lifestyles, and our rulers tend to prefer them as functionaries and agents. It's much harder to blackmail someone when they refuse to indulge whatever vices they're inclined to. You can't do that with mages, because magic is something you're born with, not earned or granted."

She grimaced, but before she had a reply worked out they were at the birdhouse. She quickly wrote down her message, including the mage's name and family, and once the bird had flown off they started back to the Inn.

"What if she doesn't find anything?" Louise asked. "Your guess is just a guess, even if it makes sense."

Jason shrugged. "Doesn't matter for us. He needs squashing on general principles. And the Inn needs protection, if for no other reason than because we're staying there and using it as cover."

"Mm."

---

Jessica was standing outside, looking concerned, as the Inn came into view. "Sweetie, I know you're trying hard this week," she started as they came up to her. "Everyone is! But after a shock like that, it might be best to take the rest of the night off."

"I'll be fine," Louise insisted. "Especially if I can have my wand with me."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

Jessica nodded slowly, despite her uncertain expression. "Please don't use your wand unless you need to. Remember, it's Scarron's job – and Jason's – to confront customers when needed."

"I will, but Jason was in the kitchen and Scarron was busy with that sudden fight-"

"I'll keep my flagon of sweet tea out in the taproom," Jason interrupted, "behind the bar, so I'm not out the way when I wet my throat. But that fight? That may have been deliberate. Cast a spell to start a fight when one of the bouncers steps out for a moment, so that both are distracted, then hustle out the door in the confusion."

Jessica's eyes widened. "That . . . you think so?"

"Maybe. Athena, how long did it take him to have you bound and covered by that cloak?"

"No time at all." Louise's eyes narrowed. "Y-you mean h-he-"

"He's maybe had practice? Yeah, I think it's likely. Jessica, any other faeries go missing recently?"

"No, but we hardly ever have one that looks as young as Athena. If that's how his tastes run-"

"Then he'll have gotten his practice somewhere else. I think it's a very good thing we sent that letter."

Jessica looked from familiar to master and back again. "Your friend that Athena visited? Does he have enough clout to deal with the problem?"

Jason and Louise looked at each other for a moment, before he smiled and nodded.

His little mistress smiled back, and when she turned to Jessica it was her grin that was predatory. "Oh, I think she does," Louise breathed.

The head faerie's eyebrows shot up. Then she nodded slowly. "Well, in that case, go wash up and get in there. You've tips to make!"

---

"Should I sleep on the floor tonight?" he asked as they got ready for bed. "I mean, even if it didn't last long, you were-"

"Jason," Louise growled.

He shut up.

"When I was in trouble, who did I call?"

"Well, yeah, but-"

"And have I ever ordered you from my side?"

"No, but . . . I've overpowered you before. Take away your wand and-"

"You were under the influence of a lust spell." Louise rolled her eyes. "Zerbsts!"

"And again when the Staff of Destruction was stolen."

"That was-" He broke off, flushing. "You were right about needing practice with my aim. But now that I'm better-?"

"I'd still like you to learn Shield before you go rushing off into danger."

"I- you- argh!" She grabbed his arm, buried her face against it, and-

"Ow!" he yelped as she bit down. "Get off! That hurts!"

"You big baby." She pulled away and smirked up at him, before closing in again and kissing the sore spot. "Everything you've done, you've tried to do for my good. And it's helped, especially since I don't know how long it would have taken anyone to think about how I managed to cast the Summoning and Binding Rites, and apply that to cantrips."

"Yeah, but, we've been sleeping next to each other for a week now. That's not very-"

Louise sighed loudly enough to interrupt him. "You don't paw at my bosom, or try to steal kisses, or pinch my bottom-"

"I do kiss you."

"On the top of my head. It's . . . nice." Her flat stare as she looked up at him was betrayed by the smile curling at her lips. "You're mine. The one thing you must never do is leave me. Understand?"

"Alright." He smiled back with a twinkle in his eye, before wrapping his arms around her in a sudden bear hug. "Here's another, since you like hugs and kisses so much."

Louise wiggled her face free, to look up at him with that same little smile. "If they're your hugs and kisses."

He nodded, leaned down and kissed her forehead, but straightened up with a surprised grunt when she put her arms around his neck and jumped. Catching her before she could fall back resulted in one hand pressing against something that she'd just said she didn't like people grabbing at, but she was nearly eye-level with him and she was still smiling.

She leaned in and nipped his ear. "Even with no training, you've become a good protector," she murmured in her husky bedroom voice, and she'd improved enough in the last couple of days that Jason stiffened, suddenly very grateful that neither of her legs happened to be up against his-!

Then she pulled back, kissed him on the cheek, and slid down. "Let's go to bed. It's been a tiresome day, and I've always slept better when I'm next to someone, so don't even ask about the floor again."

---

"That woman who escorted you away came back this morning, and she left this letter for you." Jessica held out the letter, looking a trifle bemused. "She says it's from Ann. Your friend?"

Louise nodded, took the letter, broke the seal, opened it up, then after a few moments snorted in amusement.

"What's up?" Jason asked.

"Ann is concerned, but there were already rumors about that man, and even his family is disgusted by him. So having him put to the question won't be a problem." [l-i-k-e-s Reconquista t-i-p]

"So all in all?" Jessica asked.

"You won't need to worry about him, not one bit," Louise assured her.

"That's wonderful, but – how does your friend-" the head faerie trailed off. "Does she work with the Queen? Is that-?"

"We really can't say." Jason smiled wryly, and traded a knowing look with his little mistress. "But she has enough pull that one useless fop of a noble is nothing to worry about."

"That's . . . good to hear," Jessica said slowly. "I hope we aren't putting her – or you! – to too much trouble."

"You aren't!" Louise was quick to assure her.

---

"These are the dresses you bought?" asked Eugina, looking them over critically. "I think I can do something with them, yes. Do you want me to add colors for your element? I know that nobles are particular about that."

Louise shook her head. "I'm pretending to be a commoner, even if everyone at the Inn knows otherwise. So just use the leafy colors Jessica recommended. And, do you want to start with air cantrips? It may take you some time to pick them up, but the theory truly is easier to understand once you've cast spells for yourself."

The tall blonde smiled shyly. "If you think that's best."

---

[w-o-u-l-d like to g-i-v-e her s-o-m-e trouble][!] a thoroughly disgruntled Louise sent to Jason that night, as Jessica sashayed off from yet another table of quite satisfied customers, judging by the apparent weight of the pouch of coins they'd put together for her.

[she r-e-a-l-l-y is the b-e-s-t][,][is she not][?]

[she g-e-t-s m-o-r-e t-h-a-n Nicole and Margaux c-o-m-b-i-n-e-d][!]

He waited until Louise was near the bar before gesturing her over to where he stood, watching the taproom while sipping on his sweet tea (or rather pitch caught from the tears of the damned, which was the latest rumor he'd started, mostly for sheer amusement).

"What is it?" she hissed.

"Remember, Nicole and Margaux aren't a threat. So you don't need to worry about anything. Besides, haven't you been doing better in the tip race these last couple of nights?"

She looked away for a moment. "Yes," she finally muttered. "It's been . . . I don't know why, I'm still trying as hard as I can, but-" She broke off and shrugged.

"You've seemed more confident, now that you're carrying your wand. Maybe that's the difference."

"Having my wand . . . it does feel better than going without one. That's true." Louise took a deep breath. "I'd better get back to the tables."

"Good luck."

---

The next two days passed without serious incident. Louise threw herself into practicing the techniques that Jessica demonstrated for her, and slowly clawed her way up the rankings until she was 7th out of the fourteen faeries.

"There's just one more day!" she very nearly wailed that night. "One more day and then it'll all be over, and whoever wins that Bustier-"

"Which is going to be a toss-up between Nicole and Margaux," Jason pointed out yet again. "They keep switching the lead between them, and they're noticeably ahead of the rest of the pack."

"I know, but Felicia told me that the last day always has the biggest tippers, that anyone in the top half can still pull ahead. I'm going to win it. I have to!"

He very carefully made sure she wasn't looking at him when he rolled his eyes.

---

"Athena? Jason?" Jessica's voice called to them from the other side of the bedroom door the next morning. "That messenger woman is back, and she says she's here to escort both of you to see Ann."

He sat up, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. "Shouldn't she be coming tomorrow, like last week?"

"That's between you and her," Jessica pointed out. "If I were you, I wouldn't keep your friend waiting too long."

Louise nodded, also sitting up. "We're getting up. If Ann needs to see us, it must be important."

And just as Jessica said, Agnes was again waiting for them as they descended the stairs and entered the taproom. This time, however, she was carrying a large bag with a harness.

"You're as tall as I remembered," she commented, nodding sharply. "This won't be as easy, but we can still manage."

"Manage?" Jason asked.

"Moving around as someone of normal height without being noticed can be as simple as changing clothes. Someone as short as 'Athena' can even do things like pretend to be a boy of eleven or twelve. But a man who is nearly a head taller than most people will stand out, simply for being so tall."

"Oh. Uh, how are we going to fix that?"

Agnes smiled thinly. "By giving them something else to look at."

She pulled a hat out of the bag and offered it to Louise. Said hat was peculiar by way of having a chin strap, and also by having several branches stuck to it. "'Athena', you'll wear this and hide in this sack. Jason will carry the sack and walk leaning over, as if he were a hunchback. Now, Jason, can you sound like a dullard?"

"Er-" How did the peasant speak in Warcraft II again? "'Ready to serve.'"

The agent nodded again. "Good enough. Keep it short and simple and you'll do."

"'Yes milady.' Athena, better go make ice right now. If this takes as long as it took last week, they'll need to get started before we return."

Louise nodded, set down the hat, and darted into the kitchen. After a minute or two, she came back out and picked the hat back up.

Agnes watched this all expressionlessly. "'Athena', make sure the chin strap is tight."

"I don't think I can get it tight enough," Louise confessed, moving her new headwear around. "With the weight of the branches, it won't stay still."

"We'll need it tighter than that." The agent stepped behind her. "Close your mouth. Once this is tight, you won't be able to speak until it's loosened."

Louise didn't look entirely happy with the notion, but she shut her mouth and stood still while Agnes tied the hat on to that worthy's satisfaction. Then Louise stepped into the bag and crouched down. When Jason picked it up, it did look like someone had stuck a bundle of branches inside.

"Remember to lean forward," Agnes reminded him once he pulled the harness on. She pulled out a wand. "Now follow me, boy, and be quick about it!"

"'More work?'"

"And no complaints, unless you want another taste of the Water Lash. Come!" she barked, and set off at a fast clip.

Good thing our legs are longer. [she is an a-l-l-y yes][?][c-e-r-t-a-i-n of that][?]

[yes] Louise responded. [Henrietta t-r-u-s-t-s her]

[i h-o-p-e her t-r-u-s-t is w-e-l-l p-l-a-c-e-d]

---

Agnes led them through several streets, castigating Jason several times in a very convincing imitation of a high-handed noble unhappy to be dealing with such a trivial task and one miserably inadequate servant. He chose to be amused by it all – the peasant quotes helped – but his back was starting to complain by the time she led the two of them down into what was apparently a maintenance tunnel for the sewer system (at least by the smell). She stopped just short of the total darkness of the interior.

"You can let her down now," she said calmly, all trace of imperious noble vanished from her voice. "Miss Vallière, we'll need some Light from here on in."

Louise forced her way out of the bag as soon as Jason set it down, then cast Light. She looked around and wrinkled her nose. "Why are we here?"

"The same reason I came for you today," Agnes replied drily. "Her Highness can't afford to be be missed in the royal cathedral two weeks in a row, so she's meeting you now, instead. Come, we need to go further into the sewers before anyone notices the Light and wonders about it."

"Are we heading to the palace?" Jason asked, rubbing his back, as they began moving again.

"Hardly. We're going into one of the slums. I have a hide prepared there." She eyed him, then remarked in a somewhat sarcastic tone: "Was your load heavy, then, to strain you so?"

His little mistress stiffened.

"Heh, no. Louise is as light as the proverbial feather. I'm just not used to walking bent over like that."

The walk through the sewers was not terribly long – no more than fifteen minutes – but Jason was glad to be rid of the smell when Agnes finally stopped at a blank section of wall, stuck her hand through a missing bit of rock to fiddle with a hidden latch, and led them through the resulting secret door up into a room that, for all its sparse furnishings, was clean and didn't stink of sewage.

"Her Highness is in a nearby townhouse. I'll return with her shortly."

Jason waited until after she left. Then: "Keep your wand handy, just in case."

"You don't think she'd betray Princess Henrietta?!"

"I hope not. But right now we're in the slums, we don't really know where we are, and we're waiting for her to come back with only her word that it's the princess and not, say, Reconquista agents."

Louise shook her head. "You're being paranoid. Everyone who serves the royal family is loyal, from the maids to the Captain of the Guard."

"I certainly hope so," Henrietta's voice came behind them, and they whirled to see her and Agnes enter from another secret passage. "If Reconquista can recruit agents from within the palace, we shall be in dire straights indeed."

She stepped forward and caught Louise before the smaller girl could kneel. "Louise, you're here as my friend. I told you last time, don't stand on formality."

Louise winced. "But what if Mother somehow finds out that I'm not-"

Henrietta giggled. "I see your point! But please, let us consider all formalities to be satisfied. After all," she continued, her eyes sparkling with mischief, "we haven't had a chance to work out the proper protocol for familiars who address royalty."

Louise giggled back, and Agnes rolled her eyes.

"I had Dion de Sauvage arrested as you asked, but while he confessed his crimes against young commoners readily enough, he had no contact with Reconquista." Henrietta sighed. "Still, his uncle offered discreet thanks for blotting out the shame on the family name."

"Damn," Jason replied. "It was a shot in the dark, although a man who kidnaps little girls would be vulnerable to blackmail." His eyes narrowed, and his voice roughened to a growl. "And he did try to kidnap Louise."

"I'm not a little girl!" scowled Louise. "I'm old enough to marry as soon as I leave the Academy."

"Yes, but he preferred girls as young as ten, and he's been doing this for over twenty years. To think that someone blessed by Brimir would dishonor his station so." Henrietta shook her head sadly, but then smiled. "Although at least you've learned that Jason has instincts to protect you. That should help you discover his auxilia."

Louise smiled back. "He helped me discover my magic, we may develop his universal auxilia, and he did act to . . . well. I think Jason may prove to have auxilia for finding, scouting, and protecting, if we could only discover them." Then she scowled. "But I don't look ten!"

"Yeah, but you could pass for fourteen or so. You're probably right at the upper range of what he liked." Jason paused. "What's going to happen to him?"

"That is now in Brimir's hands: He expired under the question," Agnes quietly said. "I was there as her Highness's representative when we unearthed the pit where his victims were hidden once he was done with them, and afterward I relayed her Highness's command to the interrogator to be rigorous."

"Oh." And doesn't that just reek of a Star Chamber.

"I nearly threw up, merely from Agnes's description of the charnel pit," Henrietta said in a quiet voice. "And a trial would have been a public embarrassment to the de Sauvage family. I was not surprised to receive their thanks. Cardinal Mazarin even complimented me on my discretion."

"He knows?" Jason asked.

"He's my regent. Anything I do officially, he finds out. And Mother knows whatever he told her. But the Regency Council wasn't informed, so this will not be whispered to one and all at Court." Henrietta focused on him. "Don't be troubled, Jason. I was able to keep Louise's involvement hidden, even from the Cardinal. Your master is at no risk of scandal, either."

"That's-" He froze. We want to say how barbaric that is, but it wouldn't be prudent. Besides, pedophiles don't exactly do well in American prisons, do they? Besides, if Dion the kiddy-diddler had remained alive, we were going to look into the millstone market.

And when it comes to Star Chambers, what exactly was the third degree, if not that? And what does modern custodial interrogation amounts to? Especially since, once the Miranda warning is given, an arrested suspect has to invoke his right to silence and to an attorney, without saying anything else of import, to actually enjoy constitutional protection he should be entitled to automatically.

And that doesn't even get into armed robbery by policemen via civil forfeiture, corrupt land grabs via eminent domain, summary execution of cigarette smugglers via New York cops-

"Jason?" Louise asked, starting to look concerned.

"Sorry." He shook his head. "I've not had to be involved in matters of justice before. Just had to think things through." He smiled grimly at Henrietta. "Good work, your Highness. If he wouldn't keep that locked up, Tristain's better off without him."

Each of the three women had slightly different reactions. The princess blinked, her face growing still. Agnes merely looked shocked. His little mistress, however, flinched, looking appalled.

"Jason," Henrietta said, slowly. "I do accept that you're Louise's familiar, and feeling protective of your master is precisely how you ought to feel, much as a hound might growl at one known to be a threat. But as a commoner, even a foreign commoner, it behooves you to take care in how you speak of nobles."

"Thank you for your forbearance, your Highness!" Louise quickly responded, before he had a chance to speak. She grabbed his arm, tightly, and hissed to him: "Jason, you musn't say things like that! I may be lax towards you out of sentiment as your master, but you must be respectful towards the nobility."

He looked down at his little mistress. "I think we have a category error. I wasn't talking about Dion de Sauvage as a mage, I was talking about him as someone who rapes little girls."

"But no matter his crimes, he was chosen by Brimir to wield magic," Henrietta responded gently. "It's not a commoner's station to pass judgment on a mage. That's our duty, not yours."

Jason's eyes narrowed as he turned back to face the princess. "Really. Permission to speak freely, Highness?"

Louise shook her head frantically, and squeezed harder on his arm.

Henrietta, however, held up her hand to forestall his little mistress's impending rebuke. Then she opened her mouth, but hesitated.

"Very well," the princess finally said, somewhat warily. "I'll make allowances for you as a foreigner. Speak."

The pressure on Jason's arm loosened slightly, and he glanced over to see that his little mistress was already wincing in anticipation. [Be c-a-r-e-f-u-l]! she warned.

"Highness, commoners have the same mental potential as nobles. Which is to say, it varies from person to person, some having more and some having less. It's upbringing, training, and education that give nobles any advantage they have in thinking." He paused. "That's leaving aside magic, where it seems to be impossible to delve into the theory of it without having it."

Henrietta stared at him for a long moment, before she started laughing. "And I thought to hear nothing more than Protestant heresies!" Then she looked to Agnes. "I know your sympathies, even though you've been careful not to voice them. How would you respond to Jason? Speak freely, as he has."

Agnes grimaced. "Your Highness, I would not offend-"

"At this moment, you can only offend by remaining silent! Truly, I wish to know how a Protestant would respond to Jason's observation."

"Very well." Agnes drew in a deep breath. "If he had not already condemned Dion de Sauvage, I would say that his words are far too sympathetic to the nobles. Although," she continued grudgingly, "he has a point about the advantages that nobles enjoy, to be able to strengthen their minds.

"But even so, there are many, many nobles who squander those advantages in a way that no Protestant would tolerate!"

"Mother-" Louise started, the flinched when the other three turned to look at her. "Mother wouldn't tolerate squandering those advantages either," she said in a very small voice.

"No, she wouldn't, would she?" Henrietta asked rhetorically. "She certainly never permitted us to." Then the princess smiled impishly. "Although, even as much as your mother despises the courtiers of Her Majesty's Court, I would never suggest to her that she would be in agreement with a Protestant!"

Louise shook her head vigorously.

Henrietta paused again, then continued in a musing tone. "I recall that you said you've had two decades of schooling, Jason. So you claim to have a mind equal to that of a noble, for the most part."

"I'm not a complete idiot, at least not all of the time" He smiled thinly. "But here's the thing: A large amount of moral behavior is in learning to restrain one's impulses and desires when they aren't appropriate, and to act on them when they are.

"I hold – and if this seems offensive, please remember that I am a foreigner, with foreign notions – that inborn talents may be a sign of divine approval, but if they are such then they are the sort of approval where the Almighty is saying, 'I have given you much, and so I expect much from you, that My works may continue.' If magic is given from heaven, then it's not a noble's place to be free of commoner scrutiny, but rather the exact opposite."

Upon hearing this, Agnes's mouth gaped open, and Louise buried her head in her hands. [i told you not to]

"Brimir gives magic to those who are chosen to care for commoners," Henrietta said slowly, unknowingly interrupting his little mistress. "So more is required of us. That much is entirely orthodox. For the rest . . . your notions would be condemned by any priest – even the Protestants would be appalled! - but I cannot immediately dismiss the logic of what you have claimed.

"But commoners live simple lives, for the most part. They are not trained as you are, so they cannot be expected to understand the complexities of ruling."

"A Protestant might, if they agreed to have nobles living among them," Agnes said, sounding a bit stunned. "But they'd never agree to something so perilous!"

"Okay, okay, Protestants. How do they live? The word I'm hearing means religious dissidents, but the translation, my only known auxilum, isn't perfect. So-?"

"Protestants have charters from the Crown to live in their own towns, independent of noble protection," Henrietta told him. "Their taxes are high, but not impossible to pay, and they provide for their own defense. Granting Protestant charters was not the most popular decision the Crown has ever made, but after the last crusade there were too many estates that would fall to ruin if someone did not defend them." She smiled wryly. "And they've proven a more reliable source of tax revenue than the nobility, so Mother continues to honor their charters, despite their heresies. As shall I."

Agnes nodded. "A fair summation, Your Highness."

"Okay," Jason replied. "Think I got it, at least well enough to go on. Now, getting back to the idea of rendering judgment, what kind of 'complexity of ruling' justifies kidnapping and raping little girls? Highness, do you really want to stand there and tell me I'm not qualified to pass judgment on the crimes of the late, unlamented Dion?"

The princess stared at Jason, before bursting into laughter once more.

"No, no," she said once she'd gotten herself back under control. "You have persuaded me. His deeds were such that anyone of sound mind, commoner or noble, would condemn them. But I must caution you that it would still be considered unseemly to say so to another noble."

"So I'll have to persuade y'all one at a time?"

"No, Jason!" Louise moaned, finally looking up from her hands. "They'll have you executed for heresy if you go around saying that!"

"Your master is correct, I fear." Then Henrietta again smiled impishly. "But when we are alone, please do speak your mind. I would not wish valuable counsel to go unspoken, and a foreign perspective might perceive what would otherwise be missed. Agnes?"

Agnes quickly stood at attention. "Yes, Your Highness?"

"That goes for you as well. Your life is hardly a simple one, after all."

"I . . . I will try, Your Highness."

"So, Dion didn't didn't lead to Reconquista," Jason noted. "Pity, that. But like I said earlier, people with something to hide like Dion does potentially lead to Reconquista."

"Yes, Louise suggested as much, in her letter. If Reconquista discovers their crimes before the Crown does." The princess looked pensive. "And Dion de Sauvage managed to go unnoticed by us for so very long."

"Exactly. This moral divide your society has between nobles and commoners? If a commoner's complaints are dismissed, because it might be awkward to punish someone with high status, then soon the commoners don't bother to complain without damning evidence, a friend at Court, or some other reason to expect that they'll be listened to. And it sounds like it's become entrenched in the culture over the generations. So it's far easier than it should be for nobles with vile appetites to indulge them secretly, rather than keep those appetites locked away in denial. And everyone has something bad that they'd like to do."

Henrietta's face had grown still again, and Louise's face was once more buried in her hands.

Then Agnes spoke up. "Your Highness, am I to speak freely?"

"I know I said so, but . . . these are hard words to hear."

"Does that make them untrue? Your Highness, what Jason has said is much of why Protestants cling to our charters. The Crown has proven that it will honor them, for the most part, and they are little more than a formalized statement of the covenant Brimir established between nobles and commoners. Why, then, do we dare not trust other nobles to honor that covenant?"

Henrietta's face tightened. "I have given you leave to speak, Agnes. That does not mean I give you leave to preach Protestant heresies to me."

"Perhaps we are too cautious, too unwilling to trust all of those chosen by Brimir." Agnes didn't sound like she agreed with the perhaps that she'd offered, but the princess relaxed slightly, and the tall blonde continued. "It's clear enough that there are some we cannot trust. And it did require a complaint by a noble to bring Dion de Sauvage to your attention."

"That is true," the princess admitted. "I pray that men like him are few. But here is a complexity of ruling that you might not have considered, Agnes, Jason: If I begin a campaign to root out all noble corruption in Bruxelles, the innocent are far more likely to be punished than the wicked. So it has proven, in the past."

Jason winced. "That's known as a 'witch hunt', back where I'm from. I hope the term translated correctly?"

The princess shook her head. "No. I don't believe the term for the thing you spoke of hunting translated at all."

"Well, never mind. It is a problem, yes. I'm glad Agnes found proof of his crimes."

"It made my decision an easier one," Henrietta agreed. Then she gave him a challenging look. "You say everyone has something bad they'd like to do. What would you say my bad thing is?"

Jason blinked. "Highness, the worst I know of you is that you were a trial to your caretakers as a child, with your taste for getting into mischief. And yet here you are, putting that taste for mischief and adventure into use to try to discover if your nation is threatened or not. That's . . . some people are fortunate enough to discover a good way to use wicked desires.

"Want to know what one of mine is? It's a common one, but it's still bad."

"A common one?" The princess snorted. "You're a man. Does it involve women?"

He grinned. "How did you ever guess?"

"Jason," Louise began warningly.

He cocked his head to look at his mistress. "Fine, I won't go into detail. But I think we can all agree that it would be bad to leave a trail of women behind me in the family way, with no regard for their futures. So I restrain my immoderate desires, even though at the Charming Faerie Inn I'm surrounded by over a dozen beautiful women."

"If you tried to act that way, I would punish you!"

"And if I was determined to act that way, I'd find a way to sneak around you."

That only made Louise glare harder.

Henrietta looked from master to familiar and back again with a faintly speculative air. Then, in a clear bid to get back on track: "Louise, why don't you tell me about what else you've learned of Reconquista this week?"

Louise took a deep breath, then let it out, before pulling out the sheaf of notes she'd taken that week, and handed them over. "More of the same," she sighed. "There's rumors of Reconquista, and there's discontent about people not finding work in the city, but no one is saying anything that we could try to investigate."

"Even with the outside of the city walls clear of development, the population of Bruxelles has increased over the last 50 years," Henrietta said thoughtfully. "I looked up the records, just to be sure. So people are starting to be crowded out of work?"

"It happens, if people keep having children," Jason pointed out. "I take it that potions to keep women from conceiving aren't widely available."

Agnes snorted. "Not at the prices that commoners can afford."

Henrietta nodded in confirmation. "A woman's body is intended to bear children, if it hasn't grown awry. Persuading the body to not conceive is delicate work if the woman is to remain healthy."

And prior to latex, they used to make condoms out of sheep guts sealed with wax. Doubt there'd be enough of that to go around. "Well, if the population is going to expand, the obvious solution is to expand the city, so that there's more room for everyone, but to make sure to expand it properly, so that there's no outbreak of plague."

Henrietta nodded again, looking sad. "Five years ago, that would have been exactly what we needed to do. But now Reconquista is active, and if they seize Albion soon, open war may be upon us before Germania can come to our aid. Therefore we must look to defense before embarking on civil projects, and so I fear there may not be time to make more room for the people of Bruxelles."

She paused. "In addition, it's only the certainty of open war that would persuade the Regency Council to raise the taxes to the level that Protestants pay. Without a means to pay a sufficient number of Earth mages, expanding Bruxelles properly would require decades, but even if the taxes were raised the funds would be spent preparing for war, not for construction. And my only hope of convincing the Regency Council to prepare for war now is to show that Reconquista has become active in Tristain."

"At least a war would also be a way to relieve the population problem," Agnes said in a dark tone.

Henrietta winced, but didn't chastise her bodyguard.

"Except that if Reconquista is active in Bruxelles, sending recruits off to die is exactly the sort of thing they'll use when they're persuading people to support them," Jason pointed out.

"That just another reason Princess Henrietta needs to find Reconquista and clean it out, before the war starts," Louise told him.

Henrietta winced again. "I may not be a Protestant, but I don't like the thought that I am seeking to root out Reconquista merely to be able to send my subjects off to die."

"Yeah, but the logic of the situation is cruel no matter how you look at it," Jason frowned. "You need to lower the population levels in the city, and the people in the slums, as a category, are the ones who contribute the least and . . . well, perhaps not quite."

"Perhaps not?" Henrietta looked curious. "Who else would you condemn as having less value to the city?"

"Well, we were just talking about Dion the kiddie-diddler, right? I doubt too many people would mind if you sent the villainous off to die."

The princess looked thoughtful. "I am not certain of how we would winnow them out."

"If they're hiding their vices? Yeah, that'd be tricky. Of course, you could just sweep up all the courtiers who don't have anything better to do."

Louise looked aghast once more, and the princess looked looked rather more openly perturbed than before. "Jason, I bade you speak freely, and I am trying to become accustomed to listening to wise commoners, but I think you need to explain yourself."

He shrugged. "If I'm mistaken, disregard that. But I've heard that there are any number of petty nobles who dwell in Bruxelles because they have relatives here who serve the Crown. Who hold no position themselves, but rather live on allowances provided by those serving relatives. Or because they're the cadet lines of landed nobles, kept out of the way unless the chosen heir dies."

Henrietta's expression cleared. "That's not an inaccurate summation. You think they are of less worth, then?"

"Well, I'm assuming that they engage in criminal mischief to add some excitement to their lives, as they wile away the years. Especially if those allowances aren't enough to support families in the style to which the cadet nobles were raised. And if I'm right about that, I'll go further and wager that they get off lightly when caught, as no slum commoner would."

He shrugged. "I can't remember where I heard it, but someone long ago once remarked that an unmarried man above the age of twenty-five was most likely a menace to society."

"You do like to say dangerous things to Her Highness," Agnes commented, sounding faintly impressed. She turned to look at the princess. "He's right, though. Discreetly cleaning up the messes of courtiers who live, as he says, off the allowances of their relatives, is far more work than dealing with the same number of slum scofflaws. And an allowance from the head of his family was how Dion de Sauvage kept himself."

"And so you would send them all off to fight and die against Reconquista?" Henrietta asked, looking nonplussed once again.

"The knightly orders wouldn't take them, and it's not as if you'd be able to do it over the protests of their relatives," Agnes replied. Then she smirk. "But it's a nice thought to have."

Henrietta nodded.

"Okay, why can't the Crown recruit the cadet nobles?" Jason asked. "Into a regular army, say?"

"Because the point of attending court is the hope of improving your prospects with a good positions and a good marriage," Agnes retorted. "If a courtier's head of family has already given up on a given relative, then that noble won't have an allowance to be able to afford to live in Bruxelles. And the families with traditions of military service, like de Gramont and de Vallière, already send their sons into one of the knightly orders."

"The sons?" Jason asked. "Not the daughters?"

"Not . . . normally," Henrietta replied, after a quick glance at Louise. "It's believed to lead to bad discipline."

"Mother was a Manticore Knight," Louise told Jason, sounding reluctant to even mention it. "She's said there were problems with men fighting over her, and if she'd ever found enough noblewomen who wanted to be knights, she'd have petitioned Queen Marianne to let her form a new order. But most noblewomen don't want to. Anyway, it's not good to let estates languish without noble attention."

"Uh, okay." Social engineering later, if we decide it's needed. "But the courtiers are still an embarrassment, right? And cleaning things up discreetly . . . doesn't that still require talking to the relatives who do the actual work? Letting them know that their wayward kin have been up to no good again?"

"Usually," Agnes agreed.

"So what if her Highness changed things? Either the cadet nobles join the military, or they face the full penalties for their crimes? Back where I'm from, we used to do something similar when war loomed. So the serving relatives, protecting their wayward kin, they get to decide whether or not to send them off right when they've gone and embarrassed the family again. Frame it the right way and they might even be grateful that her Highness has given them the option."

"Unfortunately, I am not yet in a position to order the raising of an army," Henrietta pointed out. "Even if military service might be of benefit to some."

"Tristain is under threat from Reconquista," Jason said, raising one eyebrow. "I know you said that you can't get the Regency Council to raise taxes, but even without that you should be cutting unnecessary expenditures to get ready to start raising armies anyway."

Henrietta grimaced. "Unfortunately, it's the collective view of the Regency Council that there are no unnecessary expenditures of significance. Or rather, it is agreed by most that some expenditures may be safely reduced, but there is no agreement on which expenditures to reduce. And there are many who feel that our military expenditures are best reduced, for my betrothal ensures that we can count upon Germania to shield us."

Jason face-palmed. "Let me guess. They have other things in mind that they'd like the treasury to fund, and those things just happen to benefit their relatives or allies."

The princess blinked. "Has Louise has been telling you about matters on the Council?"

"No, but crony politics, piously speaking of the public good while doing its absolute best to stab said public good in the back? Highness, the exact forms may change, depending on what you have to do to get funded, but the overall theme is the same just about everywhere. You said in your letter to Louise that you didn't want to let your future husband hold all the power, right? The weaker Tristain is, the more power he'll have over us all, no matter what the treaty details are."

Henrietta's grimace was back. "I agree, but it is a popular view among those on the Regency Council that since we're the Blessed Realm, and Germania is not, our prestige ensures our primacy in the alliance to come."

Jason resisted a sudden urge to go bang his head against one of the walls. "Seems to me like that would last right up until your husband brings in an army and carries you and all of Tristain's relics back to Germania. Suddenly they've got the line of Water and the relics of Water and whups! Who's the Blessed Realm now?"

Henrietta and Agnes glanced at each other.

"Jason is foreign, like he said," Agnes commented. "So perhaps it's easier for him to see it. And you've spoken with your betrothed, so you know what he expects. The Regency Council only sees that Germania has always been inferior, and so they expect that to continue."

"You don't think-!" Louise began, sounding horrified.

"It was hard for me to credit until I visited them, but Germania doesn't respect nobility the way proper Halkagenians do," Henrietta said softly. "Jason's scenario is in concordance with my own worries."

She smiled sadly. "But I am disregarded by the Council, and it's clear enough that they will continue to disregard me unless I force them to see otherwise. Finding Reconquista would have done that, but if all you have heard is rumor, then perhaps this search is doomed to failure."

"Hang on! Now isn't the time to be giving up," Jason urged. "We've only been doing this for a couple of weeks. We might still catch a break. Besides, with the rumors Louise has been writing down? Agnes, if you look them over, couldn't you check with some of the people you know, to see if those rumors have any substance to them? Louise and I are amateurs at investigation, after all."

"I have been checking the rumors," Agnes confirmed. "But nothing yet. I'll do the same with what Miss Vallière collected this week, as well."

"So we'll keep listening, and maybe we'll get lucky. And in case we do, may I offer some more foreign perspective on raising armies?"

"You should, yes," Agnes urged.

Henrietta's eyebrows shot up. "Agnes?"

"Remember the reports we've heard? That in Albion, Reconquista has been recruiting cadet nobles with nothing to do but idle away their lives in dissolution? Nobles who are much like our own courtiers here in Bruxelles? Your Highness, if his perspective illuminates a to use the courtiers first, you'll disarm one of Reconquista's weapon before they can even begin to forge it."

"Ah." Henrietta nodded in comprehension. "I hadn't noticed the parallel, since Albion doesn't have a capitol where nobles gather, but I think you're right. If they are infiltrating, Reconquista will recruit those they can with promises of a better life, should they win."

"Everyone promises that in a civil war," Jason noted. "But if you can get the recruiting going, and if you do it right, you shouldn't have to worry too much about some of them bringing Reconquista sympathies with them."

"What do you mean?" Louise asked sharply. "Rooting out Reconquista is the point of all this."

"Yeah, but recruits always have foolheaded notions. Here, lemme see if I can remember how this goes:

"'The young recruit is haughty, he's come from who knows where
They bid him show his stockings, and lay his mattress square
He calls it blooming nonsense, he doesn't know, no more
And then up comes his Company and kicks him round the floor!

"'The young recruit is hammered, he takes it very hard
He hangs his head and mutters, he sulks about the yard
He talks of 'cruel tyrants' which he'll swing for by-and-by
And the others hear and mock him, and the boy goes off to cry.

"'The young recruit is silly, he thinks of suicide.
He's lost his gutter-devil and he hasn't got his pride
But day by day they kick him, which helps him on a bit
Till he finds himself one morning with a full and proper kit.

"'Getting clear of dirtiness, getting done with mess
Getting shut of doing things rather-more-or-less
Not so fond of 'not now', 'later', or 'tomorrow',
Learned to keep his rifle and himself just so!'

"The poem goes on to describe his career once the recruit's trained, but this was the part about going from a foolheaded recruit to a soldier."

Agnes's face assumed a slightly gleeful look. "You're saying we should treat courtiers like commoner conscripts? Oh, Your Highness, we must make this happen."

Henrietta looked just a bit stunned. "Treat them like . . . was that supposed to be a poem?"

"From his native language," Louise rolled her eyes. "Like trying to translate Gallian into Germanian, only worse."

"Oh. Louise, I know your parents involve themselves in training their soldiers. Is your familiar's poem correct?"

His little mistress's expression turned inward for a moment. "Recruits can be very silly, it's true. Some of the stories we heard around the dinner table, just listening to Mother and Father discuss discipline . . . you'd probably need to take away their wands most of the time."

"They could still cause trouble at mealtimes," Henrietta pointed out.

Louise gave her an annoyed look. "Don't you remember how I fussed when I was too old to be fed, and I couldn't cast Levitate to eat with. If I could learn to eat like a commoner, so can they." Then she blanched. "I'm sorry, that was disrespectful, please forgive-"

"Gladly," Henrietta hastened to reply. "I'd rather hear what you think, Louise, than have you watch what you say for fear of offending me. If I want your familiar to speak freely, of course I want you to do the same." She giggled. "And making them eat with their hands? They way they put on airs, that would be the greatest prank we've ever pulled!"

"Uh, what?" Jason asked. "It sounds like you don't like them too much yourself."

The princess gave him a level look. "They flock to Court, and the men are each convinced they're the most handsome, charming, and clever people in all of Halkagenia. They think I ought to be impressed, rather than merely gracious, when I've seen the best that entire nations have to offer!

"And even if I were as foolish as they would like, to be easily seduced, I have Agnes's reports from under the stairs about their skills, or rather lack thereof, in bed."

"Your Highness!" Louise gasped. "You don't . . . they-!"

"Of course I don't!" Henrietta all-but-snapped. "Nonetheless I am the greatest prize they can dream of winning, no matter how foolish the dream."

Jason and Louise glanced at each other, and both started to laugh helplessly.

"I'm not jesting with you," Henrietta said, sounding cross. "And it's not funny to have to put up with them."

"No, it's not," he agreed, with a chuckle still on his lips. "But remember those dozen beautiful girls at the Inn? At least some of them see me as the greatest prize they can dream of winning, since I'm serving Louise."

Henrietta blinked. "You weren't supposed to let them know that you're noble," she pointed out.

Louise scowled. "I didn't tell them. They just knew, from watching me. It wasn't . . . it's hard, acting like a commoner and pretending to be nice for tips."

"Apparently it's easy to tell when a noble wants to draw her wand and blast an impertinent customer for trifling with her." Jason shrugged. "I'm guessing something about hands twitching. I dunno, I'm foreign and we don't use wands where I'm from.

"In any event, put the more troublesome nobles through what my people call 'boot camp' and you not only make it easier to keep order in Bruxelles, you have that much more trained wandpower pointed at the enemy when Reconquista invades. Turn a source of trouble into strength, hopefully." Jason took a deep breath. "Unfortunately, emptying the slums won't be nearly as easy."

"Because there are more of them?" Henrietta asked, looking curious. "Or something else?" Then she made a frustrated sound. "And this . . . Brimir be thanked that I chose to listen, for this is the kind of discussion I've wanted to have with the Regency Council for months! To speak freely of the troubles of our nation, and give serious thought to how we might best ameliorate them! But they say I am too young, too inexperienced, to waste my time pondering such things!"

Jason smiled cynically. "Well, they do likely have vested interests of their own, and their plan is for you to hand over all power to your husband once you marry, right? So I'm guessing they're stalling you until then, because your opinions aren't ever supposed to matter."

The princess froze, and Agnes took a slow, deep breath.

"Jason," Louise said in a small voice. "You just accused the Regency Council of treason."

"No, I'm accusing them of politicking, like her Highness said in her letter."

"Well," Henrietta declared firmly, "I am not Mother, and I will not turn my responsibilities over to another. So let us continue this ad hoc council. Jason, your concerns about the slums?"

"The slums. Emptying them out. Yeah, the problem is that there's a lot more slum rats than there are misbehaving nobles. Of course, as long as you've got the nobles solidly backing you, a commoner revolt isn't nearly as much to worry about. Training with long arms is too visible, so the most that Reconquista partisans from the slums might have are pistols. And pistols don't have the range to be a threat against trained mages except at the skirmishing level. But you want to be a good Queen for all your subjects, right?"

Henrietta nodded. "In the sight of Brimir, how can I do less?"

"If you conscript them and just send them off to war, they'll die in droves. It may be effective, but it'll be cruel, like we already agreed. And you can't just send them off to repopulate empty farms across Tristain, either. Not only would the orcs kill them, but they'd die in droves again simply because growing up in a city doesn't teach you what you need to learn to survive in the country." Jason sucked in air through his teeth. "Had a king named Pol Pot who did that back where I'm from, not even fifty years ago. We don't even have orcs to worry about, but he still managed to kill at least a quarter of his nation as a result of forcing people to leave the cities to work the farms.

"But there is a tradition in the military where I'm from, where even the enlisted – the closest we have to commoner conscripts – are taught skills that are valuable in the civilian world. I don't know what would best to teach them here – like I said when we met, there are tools back home that aren't used here – but that's something you could find out easily enough. And if you make sure that each recruit is familiarized with more than one skill – from tanning and tailoring to carpentry and blacksmithing – you give them a much better chance of being able to find a worthwhile place for themselves once they're civilians again."

"And what then?" Agnes asked. "They would come back to Bruxelles and there would still be no work for them. If there was, the slums would not be more crowded every year."

"Yeah, but . . . expanding Bruxelles will be a massive undertaking, right?"

Henrietta nodded.

"So make sure that a lot of the conscripts are taught how to craft with stone and metal. Quarrying, stone-cutting, metal-working, masonry, and so on. Once the war is over, they can help. Less of a need for mages to do the work, and some of the pay can be in the new homes that they'd be building for themselves. 'Cause people who know how to work? Generally, they'll work the hardest for something that's going to be theirs when they're done.

"Another thing is, some of the people in the slums are there because they don't know any other life. Get them out and give them a taste of the wider world, and they might not want to go back. Especially if they've fallen in love with someone close to where they were sent."

Louise frowned. "If they'd be accepted. Mother and Father don't have much use for city commoners. They say that they don't even make good soldiers."

"They don't?" Henrietta looked troubled.

"Louise," Jason said, "do your parents get most of their recruits from farms?"

"Yes, why?"

"Because there are few better childhoods for good soldiers than growing up on a farm. But getting the best possible soldiers isn't the reason to conscript from the slums. It's to empty the slums and relieve the pressure in the short term, and in exchange for risking their lives in service to the Crown, they get a fair shot at much better lives once they're released.

"Speaking of which, if you're able to set this up, Highness, you need to make sure that the skills the recruits are being taught are mixed around."

"What do you mean?" the princess asked.

"I mean . . . look, when the soldiers are released back into the civilian world, ready with new skills to seek a better life? There are going to be gluts in particular skills. Too many who can do it, and not nearly enough demand for it. Whatever it turns out to be, and there's no real way to predict that.

"Now, if everyone who learns, say, carpentry, is also taught cobbling and tanning, and it turns out that there's a glut in trained carpenters, the excess labor try to go into cobbling or tanning, and suddenly there's a glut in those, as well."

Henrietta nodded thoughtfully. "Brimir, I can see that being a problem. And if we can't know which skills there will be too many of-"

She paused.

"Then you mix them around, like he said," Agnes continued for her. "One carpenter learns cobbling and tanning, and another learns chandlering and tailoring, and yet another learns baking and ropemaking-"

"Then a glut in one skill doesn't lead to a glut in the others!" Henrietta concluded excitedly. Then: "That would be a great deal of record-keeping, to ensure everyone learns different things."

Jason shrugged. "Let every recruit pick one skill that they'd like to learn, then assign the rest by picking lots. A few duplicates won't matter so much.

"Hell, when they aren't too busy with fighting, give 'em a chance to learn more skills, if something catches their interest. In fact, the smarter ones, the ones who are going to get into trouble because they're bored?"

"Oh, Brimir, the officers had better know to keep those ones busy," Louise broke in. "That's half the stories Mother and Father speak of, when discussing soldiers being silly."

"A keen mind with nothing to do will figure out something," Jason grinned. "That got me into some trouble until Mom told me to study ahead if I grew bored in class. A lot of teachers hated it, but it's not my fault I ended up knowing what I was studying better than some of them. And since some of the conscripts will be bored, tell your officers to find those and have them trained in the skills of making complex devices. 'Machines', they're called where I'm from. There's a bit of research into those going on at the Academy, and believe me, it's a good field for people who get into trouble because they're bored and looking for something interesting to do."

"You think machina are a worthwhile field of research?" Henrietta asked. "When I visited Germania, it seemed as if their only use was to make toys for the amusement of the Emperor."

"Like what?"

"The one he currently amuses himself with is a metal tiger that has a throne built on its back, that he can ride around on and cause it to roar whenever he pushes a lever. It requires half-a-dozen slaves constantly turning gears to keep it functioning."

Wait, when Mr. Colbert said present methods were inefficient, was he talking about slaves?! Jason winced and shook his head. "Oh, no. There are, believe me, much better ways to run machines than having a bunch of slaves turning wheels to provide motive power. And having it all be focused on the Emperor . . . or Empress, once your husband-to-be takes the throne-"

"Imperial Consort," Henrietta corrected. "I will not be crowned Empress, just as he will not be crowned King of Tristain."

"Oh. Good for you. Stay independent as long as you can. Anyway, machines are better put to use in the day-to-day business of the people of the realm. A water-wheel of the sort that powers a mill can provide motive power for machines better than any team of slaves, and if you have something that needs to be mobile, there are ways. Again, the Academy is doing research into it. Uh, are machines really just used to try to impress the Emperor?"

Princess Henrietta nodded.

"Alright." Jason shook his head. "It's a waste of talent and skill, but if that's where the money is? Well, what I said earlier about politics. That.

"On the other hand, it also means there are going to be people with the training to create machines who don't have an imperial patron. Maybe even some of the best, if they spent their time perfecting their skills rather than learning to play the political game. So you'd hire some of them, and have them train the soldiers who need to be kept busy."

"It might be done, if I manage the rest," Henrietta replied, "but to what end? As I said, they make toys for the Emperor. I've no need of such, myself."

"Today they make toys for the Emperor. Tomorrow, who knows? But do you remember the little device I had, that copies your voice and image?"

The princess's eyebrows shot up. "That is something machinists can produce?"

"It's a machine, yes, but it took hundreds of years to go from making toys to amuse the powerful to devices like my phone. It's a very long path, Highness, one that they'll not be able to walk the full length of in our lifetime. But these are the first steps on that path. And along the way, there are a great many machines that will turn out to be valuable indeed."

He smiled sheepishly. "Also, I'm going to be working with the Academy to see what we can come up with, and if we have any successes then it would be good for Tristain if there are a lot of machinists around."

"Then if I can, I will see to it. I must be still proven right about Reconquista first, so that I will have influence with the Regency Council. But you have just, at least in theory, removed the most likely troublemakers from Bruxelles." Henrietta shook her head. "This will require great consideration."

"One more thing, Highness. If you're able to get the army raised."

"Yes?" Henrietta looked both curious and amused. "What new marvel would you propose now?"

"There are commoners with enough magic to train, but who can't summon familiars. They're called 'hedge-mages'?"

"That is the common term for them, yes."

"It turns out they may be a lot more common than nobles. That a quarter, maybe even as much as half the population might be able to do something with magic, even if it's just a single cantrip."

"I've heard theories that the blood of the nobles is more wide-spread than most people realize," Henrietta agreed. "But what of it? If they follow the pattern of nobility, where Triangles outnumber Squares, Lines outnumber Triangles, and so on, then the most common case would be a commoner who can never hope to utilize more than a cantrip or two, and which cantrips they might learn are entirely a matter of happenstance."

"Yeah, but that's still up to half the conscript army, if you decide to raise one. If you test them all as part of their basic training, then the ones who show some promise with useful cantrips can be trained in them. And seriously, anything that helps keep barracks or field camps functioning, clean, and free of disease will be incredibly valuable, especially if Reconquista doesn't bother to attack this year.

"And the conscripts who aren't just limited to a couple of cantrips? Who can learn all the cantrips of their elemental affinity? They'll be able to fill any military need that cantrips of their element can help with, once they're trained. Then once their terms of service are finished, they'll be able to make their way as hedge mages, instead of wasting their lives in the slums."

"He's right, there are never enough hedge mages," Agnes agreed. "Mages don't serve commoners, but there's always a need for potions and nobilia, and . . . your Highness, if it becomes known that joining the army means being tested for traces of magic? And that many commoners are finding out that they do have traces of magic? People will volunteer for that hope alone. Even some Protestants."

"Especially since you don't need to be the most powerful of hedge mages to make a good living," Jason nodded. "Someone with just the barest trace of Water can still make their way with it if the cantrip they can learn happens to be Mix. Or Arise, even."

"Arise?" Henrietta asked. "I suppose making ice is useful, but not to the level of Mix."

"Well, no, but . . . hang on. Louise? You didn't mention the salt thing to her Highness?"

She shook her head. "It's just one trick. I didn't think it needed to be brought to her attention."

"The salt thing?" Henrietta asked.

"It's a trick with ice: You add salt to it, and it starts to melt faster, but the ice that's left over is a lot colder. So you can use it to make ice cream with a lot less ice than the conventional method." Jason laughed. "I introduced the idea when I mentioned maybe making ice cream at the Inn as a way to get more customers, and I think maybe they now think it's how all nobles make ice cream.

"Beyond that, Highness, ice in the summer is one of those things that's just nice to have. Especially if you've worked long hours in the heat of day. And anyway, for those with several cantrips, they might prove even more valuable to Tristain still."

Henrietta blinked "How so?"

"Louise told me that four hedge-mages working together could ennoble an emblem, if they knew Mark, Mix, Name, and Empower between them. Well, that can't be the only nobilum that hedge mages could collaborate together to make."

The princess smiled politely. "Nearly so, I fear. Most nobilia require greater magic than cantrips to ennoble. Even the more potent potions and wards require more than Mix and Mark, I fear."

Jason frowned. "Well, what if they could combine their cantrips, to be equal to a Dot or-"

Henrietta burst out into laughter. "Ah! You've found that out!"

He frowned again. "I'm sorry, what?"

"You've rediscovered group casting," Louise told him, rolling her eyes. "Like every other-"

"No, no, it was clever of him to think of it," Henrietta told her friend. "But I'm afraid," she then said to Jason, "that you can't combine several cantrips into one figura, except for the very simplest figura, such as Ignite. Group casting requires each caster to already be able to use figura, and even then it takes much longer for a group to learn to cast a higher shape together than a stronger mage could learn to cast on his own."

He scowled. "Fine. But you can use Mark to create wards and seals, right?"

"That's right," Louise told him. Then she narrowed her eyes. "Are you thinking about doing the same thing with seals? Are you planning for me to become a 'Seal Master'?!"

Jason blinked. "Uh, do you already have that-"

"Only in the silliest stories!" she snapped. "Mark is useful, yes, but you can't Mark out arrays that loop back endlessly on themselves or anything like that. They grow unstable and collapse quickly."

"Oh." He paused. "Remember my training for artificial minds?"

"Yes," Louise agreed, warily.

"Well, I do want to take a look at what you can do with Mark, when we have time for it. Keeping arrays from crashing is something I know a lot about."

"Be careful if you experiment with that," Henrietta cautioned. "Unstable Marked arrays can fail energetically." She then looked over to Agnes. "I had not expected to hear so many notions presented. Can you remember them all?"

"All the viable ones, perhaps. Misbehaving courtiers trained like commoner conscripts, slum conscripts trained in civilian trades as part of their term of service, train the clever ones to construct machina, and test for hedge-mage potential." Agnes shook her head. "I've never heard such radical ideas presented, even among Protestants." She frowned.

"Do you see a problem?"

"Guilds are much stronger in Protestant towns, but-" Agnes shook her head again. "Even the weaker guilds in the rest of Tristain will not be happy at the prospect of training so many outside of formal apprenticeships. And commoners don't train all their lives with weapons, as nobles train with their wands. I know some soldiers who've retired, and they've spoken of how busy a soldier's life is. Even if the guilds are commanded to teach, will there be time to learn? No matter how skilled he becomes at making candles, a conscript who cannot master the use of his shield has no hope of surviving a serious battle."

"Then, speak with the soldiers you know," Henrietta commanded, "and see what their thoughts are, whether it is possible to train conscripts in civilian trades or not."

Agnes nodded deeply. "I shall, your Highness. Then we come to courtiers. I may smile at the notion of them being trained in humble circumstances, but we are no closer to devising a means of conscripting them in the first place."

"And I will not be able to even attempt it, whatever our plan for the courtiers becomes, unless I command the respect of the Regency Council. Although," Henrietta looked struck by a sudden thought. "The Order of Undine Knights has been disbanded for decades. If Mother agrees, I do have the right to reestablish it."

"A knightly order?" Agnes looked disappointed. "That puts paid to taking away their dignity while training them."

"Why would it?" Jason asked.

"Because they'd be knights, of course! You can't take away the dignity of a knight!"

"You don't have an initiation period, where they're trained in the traditions of the knightly order? Or how to fight, at least?"

"Jason," Louise said impatiently, "we practice how to cast spells for combat as soon as we become Dots! And a candidate will have already studied the glories of their chosen order before they are accepted as Knight-initiates."

Jason shrugged. "So if first-level knights get the full honors of knighthood, make a zero level."

"A nothing level?" Henrietta repeated, sounding perplexed.

"Yeah. A level for nobles who aspire to be knights, until they prove their worth. Don't give them the honors of knighthood while they're being trained like conscripts."

"Yet another radical idea." Henrietta shook her head. "Your familiar quite overwhelms me, Louise."

"He does come up with outrageous ideas," Louise agreed. "But they've served me well, so far. This idea of training commoners in commoner skills, for example. Obviously they aren't supposed to need training, they're supposed to teach each other as they grow up, but if someone is raised in a slum without any chance to learn a profession besides outlawry-"

She paused, then continued slowly. "Is that truly their fault? Their parents' fault, certainly, but would Brimir condemn those with no lawful prospects of their own? Is it not our responsibility to care for commoners, when their own efforts are not enough? Mother and Father have high expectations for the commoners in our demesne and estates, but not beyond what they prove able to do."

The princess nodded along with this, then smiled when Louise mentioned her parents. "They do have high expectations, don't they?" Her smile broadened. "And they are unquestionably loyal. And they've not ceased to train the soldiers that Vallière is entitled to."

"Yes, of course, that's how they've-" Louise broke off. "You want them to lead the Undine Knights!"

"If I reestablish the Undine Order," Henrietta pointed out in a reasonable-sounding tone, "every noble with pretensions to military service will press for the right to head it, whether for themselves or an ally. But if I announce your parents, who would dare put themselves forward as a superior choice?"

"Yes, but-"

"And would this not give us more opportunities to meet?"

"Yes, but-"

"And does your Mother not despise the very ne'er-do-well courtiers we would be sending to her for training?"

"Yes!" Louise shouted. "She does! Why would she agree to it?!"

"Out of loyalty, of course!" Henrietta grinned. "And because I would send her a very definite letter on how I wished the aspiring knights to be trained. Does your familiar have more foreign poetry for me to include?"

"I can come up with a few things, once I get back to the Academy," Jason smirked. Oh, the things you will find in unapologetic military sci-fi. "They're on my phone, which I didn't bring with me."

"Mother believes in tradition!" Louise protested. "This is not the traditional way to form a knightly order!"

"No, but the Order of Undine Knights has lain fallow for so long, that who is to say what their traditions are?" Henrietta's grin broadened. "I believe that would be me."

"And if you make the training of the aspirants rigorous, like we're talking about," Jason added, "then once they're full Knights they'll mostly look back on the whole ordeal with pride. And view other knightly orders with softer entry requirements with a certain amount of scorn."

"Would her Majesty even allow the reestablishment of the Undine Knights?" Agnes asked. "You know her opinion of you is not much better than the Regency Council's."

The princess's grin vanished into a grimace. "I know. I'm not to be taken seriously because I grew up safe, while she had already been threatened by the time she was my age." She frowned fiercely, wrinkling her brow in thought. "What if . . . when I was visiting the Academy, someone jokingly suggested inducting all the students into the knightly orders, since they seemed so devoted to me. I could imply to Mother that I was thinking of that. A toy order of knights for a toy princess," she finished bitterly.

"And what would happen after she found out otherwise?" Agnes asked.

"She'd probably lecture me. But by then the courtiers would be off to the Vallières for training, and I've been lectured before." Henrietta smiled again. "And we're speaking of courtiers who think I ought to be impressed by them. Why, if I appeal to them personally, we might be able to swear them in and send the lot off all at once.

"Although," she looked thoughtful, "I had best make sure the Vallières agree before I approach Mother. It would not do to have the whole plan come unraveled simply because they are hearing one thing from me and another thing from her, and ask her for clarification."

"Mother is used to her Majesty not having the stomach for difficult decisions," Louise said. "If you approach her in that light, and especially if you emphasize that you are seeking to fix a weakness that Reconquista exploited in Albion . . . I think she would be as shocked by the proposal as I was, but I think she might prove willing, after giving it thought."

"Well, then!" Henrietta laughed. "I had not thought this meeting would go as it has, but hearing a foreign perspective has proven most interesting. I see more clearly why you trust your familiar, Louise: He is not merely a jester."

"A jester?" Agnes looked Jason up and down. "In the manner of the King's fool in Albion? Your pardon, but I have a hard time imagining you performing acrobatic feats."

Jason rolled his eyes. "If I did, I would look like a bear trying to dance."

"As a dancing bear you were amusing to watch," Henrietta assured him brightly, eyes sparkling. "But is it not growing late? Won't your Inn be opening for business soon?"

Jason and Louise looked out the windows.

"Brimir, you're right!" Louise exclaimed. "We need to get back at once!"

"Then, Agnes, escort them back swiftly."

Agnes grimaced. "Highness, this place is as safe as I can make it, but-"

Henrietta smiled. "Well, if you're concerned about my safety, I suppose I'll just have to accompany you."

The bodyguard glared, but said nothing and led them out through the secret passage into the sewers. They took a different path this time, somewhat shorter and leading to a different exit to the streets.

"I can get her home safely from here," Agnes said. "And you should be able to find your way back to the Inn if you head down that street," she pointed.

"It won't be any trouble," Louise nodded.

"Then farewell until next time," Henrietta said, stepping forward and quickly embracing Louise. "And don't worry about finding anything. It would be a relief if there's truly nothing to find, and even if I fail to impress the Council I can still do something for Tristain by reestablishing the Undine Order. So no matter what happens, I won't be useless."

"Thank you," Louise replied, hugging the princess back. "We'll keep looking, though. If they are here-"

"If they are, then we need to know that, too."

"And now we need to hurry," Agnes said. "Before we start to draw attention."

Louise looked at the angle of the sun again as Henrietta and Agnes left. "We're late! They'll be opening any time now. We really should have gotten a horse!"

"No, that would have been too much bother," Jason disagreed. "You know the way back."

"Yes, but there's no time!"

"We'll see." He picked her up and set her on his shoulders, ignoring her surprised squawk. "You forget that I've been running for exercise. Tell me when to turn!"

With that, he set off at a not-quite-sprint down the street Agnes had indicated.

---

The Inn had not quite opened by the time they arrived.

Louise slid off a heavily-panting Jason as they reached the entrance. "We need to hurry and get dressed!" she said, dashing through the taproom with Jason following behind. "There's no time to lose!"

"Yes, you should hurry." Jessica waved her to the kitchen, then stopped Jason. "Jason, we're going to be busy tonight. So if the customers aren't too rowdy, we'll want you to spend your time keeping the dishes washed."

He nodded, breathing deep to try to stop panting as quickly as possible. "I can – do that."

---

[no][no][no]

[danger][?]

There was no response for a moment. Then: [no]

Shortly thereafter, Louise trudged into the washroom. "I need a hug," she muttered.

"Gladly," Jason replied, picking her up and letting her droop her head onto his shoulder. "What happened."

"It's Elena," she grumbled into his neck. "She just got the biggest tip anyone's made all week, and now she's solidly up to fourth place."

"Where are you?"

"Sixth," Louise grudgingly admitted. "But I'd almost caught up with her! Now she just has to beat Nicole and Margaux, and then-"

"Shh. It's not gonna happen. You know it's not gonna happen."

"No I don't!"

"Well then, you'd better get out there and make sure she's not taking the tips you're supposed to be earning."

Louise stiffened, slid down, gave Jason a determined nod, and marched back out into the taproom.

He shook his head. Be glad when this silliness is over.

---

The evening wore on, as Louise fought valiantly – er, flirted determinedly – to get to the top, or at least push herself above Elena.

Towards the end of the night, quite possibly after midnight, Jason cocked his head as the noise of a sudden commotion made its way into the washroom. [Status][Query] he sent.

[many c-u-s-t-o-m-e-r-s] came the reply. [big g-r-o-u-p]

The commotion intensified. Yes, that was definitely some anger in those raised voices.

Jason stepped away from the sink with the dishes and towards his Black Brute costume. Whatever was going on, Scarron was sure to need-

Louise burst into the washroom. "I need some clean dishes!" she demanded.

"Okay." He pointed to the stack he'd just finished. "What's going on out there?"

"A noble with a gang of retainers came in, and they ordered everyone to leave! They're my last chance, I have to go out there and-"

Jessica chose that moment to enter the washroom. "I thought you'd ducked in here. Oh, Athena," a note of sad sympathy entered her voice, "don't be a fool. I led the faeries out of the taproom for a reason."

"I'll be fine!"

"No, you won't. That's Turenne de Montferat out there. He's the tax collector for this bourg!"

Louise looked defiant. "That just means he has more money to tip with!"

Jessica's mouth dropped open for a moment. "Him?! He doesn't tip. He doesn't even pay! If you try to serve him, he'll just make you go with him when he leaves! No. Let Scarron handle him."

A feral look came over Louise as her hand dropped to where her wand was tucked away. "Let him try. I'll make him tip me!"

"What, by outing yourself as a noble and forcing him to tip at wand-point?" Jason asked. "It might work, I suppose, but isn't that technically armed robbery? Of a tax collector? Is it really worth that to get the amount you'd need to win?"

"Jason-" Louise began in a warning growl.

"Do you want to be brought up on charges before the Queen? Especially ones that would merit execution?" Granted, that was a guess on his part, but there wasn't a government on Earth that didn't get tetchy about messing with tax revenue, and there was no way Halkagenians were any different. Hell, tax evasion was how they'd put away Al Capone! "Even if Ann might have enough pull to get us off, do you truly want to force her to use it? And would she have enough sway left over to protect the Inn as well?"

[what is w-o-r-t-h more][?][b-u-s-t-i-e-r or m-i-s-s-i-o-n and faeries][?]

That stopped Louise short. Her eyes grew enormous as she stared up at him, her lips trembled, and her whole body started shaking.

Jason smiled sadly, then picked her up again, cradling his little mistress almost as if she were still a child. "I think the excitement's gotten to Athena. Jessica, do you mind finishing up the dishes?"

The head faerie nodded, and he immediately headed up to their bedroom.

---

He sat down on the bed, with Louise in his lap, and held her until the trembling stopped.

"So," and he very carefully did not mention the handful of tears that had leaked from her eyes, "do you need to hit me again?"

"No!" she said, quietly but forcefully. Then she reached up, pulled on his collar to expose his shoulder, and bit down hard.

Jason gritted his teeth and took it, but when she didn't stop he eventually pried her loose. "What is it with you and biting, lately?"

"You don't even care when I hit you, but a familiar who disobeys his master still needs to be punished." She paused, then added reluctantly. "And exploding you would be a little too much."

"Uh-huh." His smile must have looked just a bit predatory, for she leaned backwards slightly, looking slightly wary. "Be careful, little mistress. When it comes to shoulders and reprisals, I know how to do this!"

His head darted forward before she could pull back any more, and his mouth closed on the gap between her shoulder bone and her neck tendons. He suckled her skin gently, probing lightly with his tongue until he felt her shudder slightly, then slump further into his arms.

When Jason pulled back, Louise's face was more crimson than he'd ever seen it. "Feeling a little better?" he asked.

"I-I, y-you . . . that wasn't a p-punishment!" she finally got out.

"No. But seriously, do you feel better?"

She leaned forward until her face was buried in his chest. [m-i-s-s-i-o-n is t-i-r-e-s-o-m-e]

"True. And you've been putting up with the worst of it, no doubt of that." He paused. "Ann did say she was satisfied with our efforts, if we decide we've had enough. Have you?"

[p-e-r-h-a-p-s]

"So, focus on teaching the girls what you can for a few days, so we don't leave them entirely in the lurch, and then head back to the Academy?"

Louise pulled her head back, and slowly nodded. "That sounds . . . nice."

"Right. Let's get you tidied up a bit, and then we'll go explain things to Jessica and Scarron."

---

They were coming out of the washroom on the second floor when Jessica saw them. She had a grim expression. "De Montferat's gone. We're closing early for the night, and everyone needs to come down to the taproom."

Jason and Louise traded looks at each other, but Jessica hurried off upstairs before either of them could voice a question, so the two went downstairs to where Scarron was waiting in the taproom, also looking grim.

"No questions, s'il vous plaît," he said when Jason opened his mouth. "Not until mes fées are assembled."

Said assembly did not take much time at all, and in but a few minutes Jessica had the last of the faeries rounded up and was herding them into the taproom.

"Mes fées," Scarron begin, "oui, it is as we feared. De Montferat had word of our sudden surge in prosperity, and came to collect early."

There were quite a few angry faces, but as he looked around Jason didn't see much surprise.

"The Crown is concerned that there will be war with Reconquista, he said," Scarron continued heavily. "And all her loyal citizens must contribute, that the Royal Treasure will be able to bear the burden of protecting us all." He sighed. "There will be no pay for this week . . . and he said he would be back each week, to ensure we our paying our full share."

There were no small number of gasps at this.

"No pay at all?" Nicole was the first to speak. "We can only count on our tips for income?"

"If that." Jessica sounded coldly furious. "Be very careful when leaving the Inn, faeries. De Montferat had some words about 'appropriate contributions' from all of Bruxelle's residents."

Jason and Louise traded looks again. [t-e-l-l faeries][?] she sent.

He nodded.

"He's lying," Louise said, loudly, and took a deep breath as everyone turned to look at her. "Everyone knows I visited my friend Ann this morning, right?"

There was a pause, and then the faeries started to nod.

"She told me – and she is in a position to know – that the Regency Council is not raising taxes right now. They're discussing it, yes, but unless Albion falls, there's not enough support for it."

That started a murmur among the other faeries, which died down when Scarron spoke up. "And if Albion falls, ma petite fée?"

"Then-" Louise paused. "Even then, several of the Council believe we need not do anything, for Germania is now treaty-bound to come to our defense."

"That would be très bien," Scarron slowly replied. "I would not wish to see the children of my friends go off to war."

"Yes, but in the meantime, if this tax collector is making people pay extra for taxes that haven't risen-" Jason broke off to take a deep breath. "Can you ask around, tomorrow, when everyone is off, and see if he's hitting anyone else the same way?"

Louise looked up at him sharply.

"I will, mon ami," Scarron agreed, and Jessica nodded as well. "If they say they have had enough of de Montferat, maybe we shall petition for his removal, oui? Or perhaps you might petition with your friend?"

"We'll see."

The meeting broke up soon after that, and Jason and Louise made their way back up to their bedroom.

"What was that about?" she asked as soon as the door to the bedroom was closed. "We just had Ann use her position to take care of one problem, but if she keeps on doing this for us-"

"Yeah, I can see that it might be a problem," he nodded. "But I had a sudden thought. Falsely raising taxes, and claiming that it's needed to prepare to fight Reconquista? When the Regency Council isn't actually going to be doing very much in the near future? What if the next step is to then start whispers that the Crown is simply using the threat of Reconquista as an excuse to fill the treasury at the expense of the public?"

"They might start to believe that anyway," Louise said, her eyes widening a little. "But you think that maybe-"

"I think that we haven't been hearing anything widespread about Reconquista, so if they're here they're hidden. But subverting tax collectors, and ordering them to loot the people? That wouldn't just start to spread serious resentment, it would also drain away wealth that the Crown might need to call on when preparations to defend against Reconquista's invasion actually begin. And it fits with how Ann described their operations in Albion."

"So you want to see if Montferat is doing this to everyone, not just the Inn, and if he is we go to Ann?"

"No." Jason smiled. "Montferat's our last, best lead. I want to find out everything we can about him, so that when we go to Ann she already knows what to look for. And seriously, the more I think about it the more likely it seems that he's fallen to Reconquista. The timing is just too good."

"How would we do that?" Louise asked, looking puzzled. "I'm not even allowed to serve him, for fear he'll try to kidnap and ravish me."

"Well, you know how you thought this mission would involve some derring-do?" Jason's grin widened. "Let's give that a try. It'll be . . . fun."

"Fun?" She looked stunned. "You – you think – you always want to do the sensible thing!"

He shrugged, still grinning. "You'll have your wand. And, okay, quick confession: I've read a lot of stories where the heroes have to sneak around to defeat the bad guys. This is a chance to actually try it, and if we do get into trouble you can Levitate us out of most of it, and explode anything between us and safety."

Louise stared at him for a moment, then smiled back. "We would be a little like Pierre the Pirate, wouldn't we? And some of the things Mother and Father used to get up to, before they married . . . they won't share the details with us, but every so often they refer to things that sounded . . . you know there are books about them? Mother refuses to let us read them, because she says the details are all wrong, but-" Then her face fell. "But where would we start?"

"Well, Ima's a whore's daughter, and Roxane's a street orphan, so they both probably have experience with the shady side of Bruxelles. Approach 'em tomorrow, test them for the cantrips they might be good with, and broach the subject?"

Louise slowly nodded. "That's probably the best way to get started. And then what?"

"Whatever we have to do. Up to and including breaking into de Montferat's home, or even following him around to see who he might be meeting with."

"But what if he's getting his instructions through the mail? Like how I've been writing to Ann?"

"Then . . . we'll figure something out. But if he's only recently been subverted, then his contact with Reconquista probably needs to meet with him fairly often, to make sure their control over him is firm and not slipping. So if we're careful about how we do things, we might be able to pull this off. And even if it goes wrong, I can count on you to get us out of there safely."

That last sentence brought an upwards curl to Louise's lips, almost as if she were smiling against her will. "I can, can't I?" she asked rhetorically, sounding almost gleeful. "And you can move quietly, so if you're dressed up as the Black Brute, you'll be able to sneak around more than anyone would believe."

"Yeah, there's that too, I guess." Jason rubbed the back of his neck. "I'm not gonna claim to be any kind of expert burglar, though. Anyway, I guess you should spend the rest of the time before bed calculating the circles and whatnot you'll need for the girls, tomorrow?"

Louise nodded, slid off his lap, and set to work.

---

A/N: Note that the GI Bill was a post-World War 2 thing. It's historically normal for nobles and officers to think of conscripts as scum, to be expended as necessary. And if the Regency Council would listen to Henrietta, she might not be quite so ready to listen to some foreign barbarian spout ideas. But at least Jason thinks she's worth trying to advise beyond, "Don't worry your pretty little head over it."

Oh, and I did warn you that there'd be Kipling in this fic. Won't be the only time, either.

New Spells: Numb – cantrip of Fire, numbs pain.

Water Lash – presumably a real spell.