An American Geek in a Halkeginian Court

by Inner Legions

An American commits cultural appropriation against a hapless Japanese youth. Typical, just typical. WARNING: CONTAINS RAW, GRAPHIC KIPLING. May only be suitable for mature readers.

18. Rumors of War IV

Rumors of War, Part IV

"Go find Ima and Roxanne while I set this up," Louise ordered the next morning, standing in the taproom and armed with the sheets of calculations she'd prepared. "If either one is up this early. Sound her out and then send her in."

---

"Sneakin', like a burglar?" Ima asked.

"Uh, a bit, I guess," Jason admitted. "I mean, I don't want to be insulting, but I hear it's not entirely odd for whores to do a bit of thieving on the side."

"T' help ourselves to a bit extra of his purse, not to go skulking around his home!" the whore's daughter protested, then paused. "Not that mum would do that, o' course."

He lifted an eyebrow. "Of course."

"'nyways, th' Sewer Lord wouldn't like it. If some nob has a place worth liftin' from, then he'll be on the list, and better get permission first."

"The Sewer Lord? A king of thieves, I'm guessing?"

Ima shrugged. "A lord, 'nyways. If there's not more'n one of 'em. Mammy didn't have much t' do with 'em."

[Ima no help][,][s-e-n-d-i-n-g her]

---

Roxane nodded. "Yes, when I had to beg I did do some sneaking around. I wasn't . . . you had to have clever fingers to become a real thief, and I wasn't good enough. But sometimes they needed someone to case a building or a mark, and they figured I'd do as long as I didn't get caught."

"Did you ever get caught?" Jason asked.

She shook her head. "Jessica found me out when I was begging outside the Inn, and insisted on feeding me and cleaning me up. Then she said I'd do as a faerie, as long as I practiced hard to rid myself of the street accent. It meant regular meals and a place to stay as fall came on, so I stayed around. Now I look . . . the crew I used to scout for, they wouldn't even recognize me today."

"Oh. Think you could approach them anyway, try to introduce me?"

Roxane shook her head again. "They got caught and danced the hempen jig late last year. Their new scout wasn't as good."

"Ah." Well, that put a damper on the conversation. "I'm sorry."

"I'm not. They weren't nice people." She pursed her lips, looking off into the distance. "The crew boss? His girl was part of the crew, until they had a big fight and she disappeared. Except he pawned her things, so I've always wondered if he didn't cosh her one night and sell her to a brothel. And then he started looking at me, as if waiting for me to fill out a bit.

"That's why I was begging outside the Inn. If I could find a new patch to work, I wouldn't have to go back to them, looking for scraps."

"Okay," he said, trying not to look appalled. "The thing is, Athena and I need to investigate de Montferat, find out why he's suddenly squeezing the Inn dry. And maybe I can move a bit quietly-"

"Quietly enough," Roxane agreed. "You could stand to step a bit more smoothly – you'd be faster that way, and no noisier – but quietly enough. And the black leather isn't the worst thing for sneaking through the night in."

"Yeah, but that doesn't mean I know what I'm doing. So I figured I should ask for help."

She tapped her lip for a moment, thinking it over. "I haven't done any of that since becoming a faerie. But I don't want to go back out in the streets again, that's sure and certain." Then she nodded. "Yes, I'll help you two."

Jason smiled. "Thank you." [Roxane will help]

[good][,][a-l-m-o-s-t r-e-a-d-y for her]

"And speaking of help, Athena's testing Ima for the cantrips she can learn easily, but I think she's about done. So if you want to head to the taproom, you can figure out what your magic is best for."

"I'll do that," the redhead agreed. "You should go report to Jessica. She was looking for you when she got up, until she realized you and Athena were doing magic in the taproom."

---

The Inn's 'Sunday dinner' had a slightly different menu this week. The more frantic pace of the tip race had precluded much in the way of experimentation, but with that over, Jessica just about handed the kitchen to Jason to show what he could do with sandwiches.

"Even if you can manage to bring Montferat to heel," she told him grimly, "right now we need more income just to keep afloat. If we start using cheaper, poorer ingredients, our customers will notice, and that will still be the ruin of us. So if you can come up with anything clever to draw customers in, now's the time."

Spurred by that, he made himself a sandwich as a quick breakfast, then got to work. Pizza, they already knew about, but a pizza folded over in half made a calzone, which had obvious utility for people without enough time to stay for a proper meal. Likewise, all he had to do was fold a pizza over into the shape of a bread roll, and there was a stromboli ready to go into the oven.

Of course, there were also the toasted submarine sandwiches that they'd discussed the previous week. Then he showed how small rolls could be shaped into hotdog buns (more or less), with savory sausage filling in for concession-stand mystery-meat hotdogs before being piled high with toppings. If we do the job right, maybe we can prevent the abomination of bland, processed meat from ever taking hold in Halkagenia. It was a nice dream, anyway.

Jessica called a halt at that point on the grounds that they had enough food for luncheon now, which was fortunate because he was starting to run out of things that he knew how to do that were both new and not too dependent on meat. Pot pie, fajitas, chicken fried steak, enchiladas, meatloaf – so many of the things that his mother had made just flat-out assumed that meat was available on an industrial scale.

"There's another version of pizza that's called 'deep-dish'," he mentioned to her while watching his creations cook in the oven. "But it needs to be made in a large, shallow pot rather than cooked on a pan, because the crust all around the rim has to turn up several inches to hold all the ingredients."

"And what ingredients does it use?" she asked in response.

"More of the same. Cheese on the bottom, then meat, then vegetables, and finally the sauce. Speaking of which, tomatoes can be used as the base for a good pizza sauce, although I don't know the recipe, so you'd want to experiment. The thing is, you need a lot of ingredients to fill a deep-dish pizza, so that's gonna make for more a more expensive item on the menu."

"So, something nobles would eat, then," Jessica concluded.

"Something nobles could afford, anyway."

"But Athena never saw anything like it served?"

Oh. Oops. "I guess not," he shrugged. "They must have only served them to teachers."

She gave him a bit of a skeptical look, but about that time everything needed to be pulled from the oven, and she didn't say anything more.

---

Although the 'Sunday meal' had started off with a benediction in the same style (albeit with a rather intense plea for their financial health), and a toast to the Queen and the Princess that was identical to last week's as far as Jason could tell, this time there was no ragout as a starting dish. And while Scarron's pigeon-hunting efforts had been no less successful than last week's, all the edibles thereby derived had gone into the pool of toppings and ingredients for Jason's efforts. So there was no common pot for Jessica to serve everyone out of, just a collection of various dishes waiting for everyone to sample.

Nonetheless the head faerie did impose order, making sure everyone tried at least a sample of each style of dish, on the grounds that they could then better describe them to uncertain customers.

Margaux was the first to pause her meal. "I talked to Alvin Grob yesterday, when he was complaining how he hardly ever had time to sit down and enjoy his meal properly."

"Is he the little Germanian with the mustache?" Louise asked. "The one you always let kiss you on the cheek when he comes in?"

"That's him." The zaftig verdetress laughed. "He's so adorable!"

"Does he still claim that his wife wouldn't mind if he took you home with him?" Nicole asked with a sardonic twist to her lips.

"Oh, that's just teasing, these days. He knows I'm spoken for. Anyway," Margaux waved her hand, "I mentioned that we were going to try cooking things in bread, so that they could be brought along when the customer leaves, and he wants us to have something like that ready for him every day this week. He says business looks to be especially busy, and he won't have time to do more than dash in, have a quick drink, and dash out."

"That's good," Jessica smiled. "We don't want to lose any business right now, so that's something to mention to people. Even if they don't have time to sit down properly, we can still serve them."

"If you get enough people who are interested," Jason put in, "you can keep a bit of a reserve of sandwiches and so on. They'll get cold, waiting, but if someone's in a hurry it's still something to eat. And if the sandwiches don't get purchased, just toss them into the ragout or whatever."

"We'll probably do that," Jessica nodded. "Athena, how did your tests with Ima and Roxane go?"

All three girls scowled.

"Not well," Louise admitted. "They can both probably learn Arise with enough effort, but it will take weeks, if not months. I was hoping that at least one of them would have Arise as one of the handful of cantrips they could easily learn, but . . . I'm sorry."

"So we still need to be on the lookout for someone with Water potential." Jessica pursed her lips. "Well, if that's how it is, that's how it is."

"We can still learn it, right?" Ima asked in a whining tone. "Just 'cause we can't do it right away like the nobles-"

"The sooner you learn, the sooner you don't have to be a faerie if you don't want to," Jessica nodded. "So you'll want to spend your free time practicing, I'm sure."

"Awwwwww!"

Louise's eye twitched, although Jason was pretty sure he was the only one who'd caught it. [she a-n-n-o-y-i-n-g][?]

[c-o-m-p-l-a-i-n-s much]

"Now, I'm sure everyone is interested in the outcome of the tip race."

That got the entire table's attention, although his little mistress slumped a bit in sullen defeat.

"I know everyone was trying hard, especially yesterday. And I won, although-"

"Y'always win!" Ima said loudly. "Who won after?"

"Yes, that was somewhat in contention, with three different faeries all vying for second place."

Elena beamed, and Louise slumped a little further.

"After Scarron and I totaled up the sums, we found that in fourth place was . . . Margaux."

Margaux smiled and nodded.

"Third and second place were even closer together-"

Louise stiffened. Elena looked stunned, and even more hopeful. Nicole kept a look of polite interest on her face. Everyone else seemed to be holding their breath, waiting.

"But after counting twice to be absolutely certain, we found that in this race, third place was taken by . . . Elena, and Nicole took second."

Now it was curvy blonde's turn to slump, while Louise looked relieved. Nicole's eyes gleamed momentarily, but then the mask was back up, and Jason wasn't certain he'd quite caught it.

"Now, it's a long-standing custom at the Inn for me to step aside as the winner and pass on the Charming Faerie Bustier to the second place winner. And no one can deny that Nicole has earned the privilege."

The tall brunette nodded gracefully.

"But just this once-"

Louise stiffened again.

"-I think I will exercise my right as the winner to claim the Charming Faerie Bustier for my own use."

Jessica smiled sweetly as gasps came from around the table, and her eyes twinkled as she caught Jason's eyes. Then one of her eyes shivered in a ghost of a wink, and he suddenly felt like a rabbit in a field, touched by the shadow of the hawk flying above and looking for dinner.

For some reason, Louise decided that she and Jason would retire quickly that night, much as they had last week.

---

"That, that commoner!" she raged up in their bedroom. "That sneaky, conniving commoner!"

"'Commoner'?" Jason asked, a single eyebrow raised. "That's the epithet you're using?"

"She's planning on doing what that Madeline faerie did! She's going to steal you away from me! She has no right-"

"Pretty sure she's trying to steal me away from Siesta," he pointed out.

She glared up at him. "You are mine! And I do not approve."

"I'm not saying I'm interested in marrying her," he replied in a deliberately mild tone, "but you have to admit that a fellow could do worse than marry Jessica. She's practical-minded, she can run a household and ride herd on people acting like a bunch of ninnies, she keeps an excellent kitchen-"

"She has great big udders like her cousin."

Jason coughed. "She is comely. But her family's tied to the Inn, and that's where she'd expect to stay. Louise, she doesn't know that she's not trying to catch the eye of your brother. She doesn't realize that I'm your familiar, and that I will not be separated from you. But I don't think we could explain that without the whole story coming out into the open."

"So what do we do?" Louise hissed.

"Focus on de Montferat. If he doesn't pan out as a lead, and if we don't find any others, then we'll be done here, and can head back to the Academy."

"And what about her?"

"You'll need to stick close and keep me safe. We've gotten through two weeks here, we can get through another week or two." Jason smirked. "Or you could always steal the Bustier for yourself."

Louise rolled her eyes. "That would only make things more complicated."

"Eh, true enough. In the meantime, though, Jessica's only got the Bustier for a day. When that day comes around, we go into full defense mode and wait it out. And if she overwhelms my good sense, you've got magic you can use to pry us apart."

"She'd better not 'overwhelm your good sense'."

He shrugged. "Better her than Elena, though. Pretty sure she'd use any incident as a way to claim I was beholden to her."

His little mistress growled, then sat down on the bed next to him. "Let's talk about something else."

"Alright. Do you have any figuring you need to do, or should we work on our mind-to-mind?"

"Thinking at each other does still take too long," Louise mused. "What words should we focus on drilling next, do you think?"

"It's gonna be slow improvement if we keep adding a few words at a time," Jason replied, rubbing his chin. "What we might want to do is drill the letters until they're more like a burst than a quick series of nudges. Try to get to the point where we're sending each letter in the time it takes right now to do one nudge."

"How would we do that?" she asked in a dubious tone.

"I don't know, but . . . right now we're sending signals one at a time. Much faster, these days, but still one at a time. If we can send them in parallel – next to each other, rather than one following another – then four signals at a time is one letter."

"Again, how would we even do that?"

"Uh-" Jason grimaced. "I'm not sure. But . . . wait." He shook his head and sighed ruefully.

"What is it?"

"We're spelling things out for each other, but each in our own language, and somehow the meaning is translated correctly. Which means we're over-thinking it."

"Very well, but what do we do?"

"We hope that all the work we've done has strengthened my universal auxilum enough to let us rely on the translation even more."

"How?"

"Try this, little mistress: Think of a word that you really want me to hear. Spell it out to me in your mind: Not the series of nudges, but the letters. Think it to me hard."

Louise gave him a flat look, but then took a deep breath and closed her eyes tightly, grimacing in concentration.

There was the faint brush of something against his mind, almost an impression of a word too faded to read.

"I felt something," Jason said. "Couldn't tell what it was, though."

She opened her eyes to give him another flat look. "I thought, 'you are exasperating'."

"Uh . . . yeah, probably. Maybe try a smaller word first? Something simpler."

She rolled her eyes, but closed them again.

The brush was a little more concentrated. [d]

Then [o].

[g]

"Dog? Were you sending 'dog'?"

Louise opened her eyes and smirked. "I spelled it out very clearly, so you'd get it."

"Right." Jason smirked back at her. "Are we revisiting what happened the last time you called me a dog, late at night?"

She stared at him for a moment, then blushed. "L-let's focus on p-practicing. Since we know it can work, now!"

---

"So what's the agenda for today, before the Inn opens?"

Louise pursed her lips. "I've had some ideas about trying to prevent some of the unwanted interactions from the reagents. I'll spend some time testing those. You should go down and see if they need help in the kitchen, preparing for today."

Then she quickly added: "But make sure to look away, if Jessica's wearing the Bustier!"

"Yeah, I was already planning on that."

As he went downstairs, Jason was joined by Roxane, emerging from the washroom on the second floor.

"After you went to bed, I slipped out to see where de Montferat lives," she said. "He's got a townhouse not too far away, but it's got a wall 'round it, and I heard dogs on the other side."

"Dogs?" He winced. "I like dogs, but trained guard dogs aren't gonna like us."

"Uh-uh," the coppery redhead agreed, as they entered the kitchen. "I know a salve that'll keep 'em off, if Athena can make it."

"I'm sure she'll give it a try. What does it need?"

Roxane shrugged. "Not much. Weeds, mostly. It does something with aniseed, but it makes dogs ignore you instead of pay attention."

"Well, talk to Athena when she comes down." Jason looked around. "Where's Jessica? Isn't she usually up by now?"

Arms encircled him from behind in a sudden embrace. "She went to see if she'd gotten a letter," Elena's voice sounded as she pressed her face into Jason's back. "That was so cruel, her deciding to keep the Bustier for herself. Don't you agree?"

"I've never seen her do it," Roxane noted, smirking at the two of them. "But she's always the best. Why shouldn't she get a turn?"

"But not now! Not when she wants to use it on my Jason!"

"If he was your Jason," Nicole snapped, coming into the kitchen from the taproom and looking even paler than usual, "he'd be upstairs in your room and you'd be on your knees, choking on his-"

"You take that back!" The short blonde let go of him to stomp around him and glare at the taller brunette. "Just because no one wants a skinny twig-"

"Which is why I get better tips than anyone but Margaux. Or Jessica."

"I did better than Margaux this week!"

"Yes, by letting them paw at you whenever Scarron was looking the other way. Disgusting. No wonder you haven't gotten so much as a kiss out of Jason."

Elena's lower lip trembled. Then she turned and looked up at him with big, watery eyes. "Jason, you'd kiss me, wouldn't you?"

Dammit, Nicole! He stared back at her, feeling trapped.

"What's this about Jason handing out kisses?" Now it was Jessica coming out of the taproom into the kitchen, dressed as if she'd gone out and wanted to look her best(without causing a riot by dressing as a faerie). "Do we need to form a queue?"

"Maybe we should." Nicole's lip curled. "Get it done while Athena's still in her bedroom, so he's free to kiss whomever he likes."

He groaned. "Girls, I've only been here for two weeks, and I'm probably following Athena back to the Academy in a few more. That may be long enough to get in trouble with someone, but it's not long enough to be serious about anyone."

"I could be serious!" Elena protested.

"Last month you were serious about Gaston," Nicole agreed, "this month you're serious about Jason, next month you'll be serious about the next one. We all know how it works by now."

The blonde stared at the other faerie's sneering face for a moment, then burst into tears and fled upstairs.

"That was mean," Jason pointed out, before glancing upstairs and sighing. "I suppose it would send the wrong message if I went up there and tried to calm her down."

"Not unless you want her doing what Nicole said," Roxane quipped.

"No thanks," he replied.

"Well, at least you have better taste than some," Nicole remarked with a final curl of her lips, before heading for the stairs.

"Wait, are you okay?" Jason asked before she could vanish. "You seem out of sorts."

She turned her head back to regard him through narrow eyes. "A little. But I took a walk to clear my head, and I'll be fine." Then she was up the stairs and gone.

"I doubt she enjoyed losing the tip race." Jessica smiled apologetically. "Especially with her pay cut so suddenly! But I've never used it for myself, and I deserve a turn."

"Yeah. Inconvenient timing, that. So did your letter come in?"

She nodded. "It's from Siesta."

Siesta? Uh-oh. "Really? What'd she say? I mean, if you don't mind me asking."

"Oh, we've just been telling each other what's been going on," Jessica replied airily. "She was kind enough to tell me a little more about how you saved her from that nasty Count." She walked over to him and suddenly gave him a hug, standing up on her tip-toes to kiss his cheek. "Hiding her like that . . . she says the other maids still tease her about what you were doing together!"

"What?! I wasn't-" He froze.

Jessica laughed, and hugged him a little tighter. "Well, I'm definitely looking forward to trying out the Charming Faerie Bustier! How do you think I'll look in it?"

He was already frozen, so he couldn't do anything other than hope that Louise would suddenly come down the stairs.

"Do you know, I think Jason might be a little shy." Roxane's voice was suddenly full of mischief. "Like that boy Madeline liked. Raoul?"

"Is that what it is?" Jessica looked up at him through her raven hair, eyes shining. "Too shy to take what you want?"

"I-" He closed his eyes. "It's not easy to, to think when you're doing that."

"Men think?" Apparently Roxane was on a roll today. "How are we going to get tips, if men are thinking?"

Jessica laughed, but let him go. "Jason's a singular man, then, since he thinks so much."

He groaned. "Seriously, I didn't come to the Inn to look for a wife."

The redhead snickered. "Half the faeries would be tryin' to change your mind, if Elena hadn't nipped in so quickly. They might start, since she's not having any luck."

"But I get the Bustier," Jessica smiled again. "Don't worry, Jason, you'll love how it looks!" Then she winked and sashayed down the stairs to the food stores in the basement.

He groaned again.

"So, what'd you do before this?" Roxane asked curiously. "You act like you've never had to turn down a girl before."

Jason shook his head. "It hasn't been an issue until I came to the Inn. Suddenly, every girl wants what I represent."

"Well, if it helps, I want what Athena represents."

He stared at her. "Uh, what?"

She laughed. "The look on your face! I want magic."

"Oh." You idiot, of course she wants magic. Who wouldn't?

"I want to learn to pay my way with ice, instead of begging. That's what this is, you know. Begging, and getting away with giving them a show because you and Scarron are there." Roxane shook her head. "Don't want that, not forever. And I don't want to settle for a man, just 'cause. With magic, I don't have to. I'll make ice as soon as I learn, and then I want to learn potions."

There was a light patter of feet down the stairs. "What about potions?" Louise asked, coming into view.

"I was telling Jason here, once I learn to make ice, I want to learn to make potions. If I can do that, I don't have to depend on anyone but myself. Won't have to risk trusting a man to keep me."

Louise stopped short. "You don't want to get married?"

Roxane shook her head quickly. "Figured I'd have to, eventually, but I was dreading it. I've seen too much of what men do to their women, and what the women do back."

"Oh. It's not like that, or it's not supposed to be like that."

"Maybe not for nobles, but the streets are hard living, and that's what I know. Worst messes I've seen were when someone thought their sweetheart actually cared about them." She shook her head again. "No thank you. Won't let anyone do that to me. But at least I won't be trying to steal away your brother, eh? Don't gotta worry about him with me."

"Yes, but Jason's the kind who would be true."

"You trying to sell me on him? Thought you didn't want to share. Especially not with some street rat."

Louise grimaced. "My brother isn't looking for a wife. But when he does marry, he'll make a good husband, I'm sure of it!"

"Well, it won't be me. Brimir willing, I'll look after myself."

"My worth as a human being aside," he broke in, trying not to smile like a fool at his little mistress's assessment, "Roxane did some scouting where de Montferat lives. He keeps guard dogs."

"Yep," the redhead agree, nodding. "Knew a hag, on the streets, she had a potion that makes dogs ignore you."

"It uses aniseed," Jason said.

"I was getting to that! Yes, it uses aniseed, but turns it all sideways so that dogs ignore you instead of like you."

"That's . . . not impossible," Louise said thoughtfully. "Changing the reaction that a substance causes can be difficult, but it's not impossible."

"Of course it works! I used it myself, a time or two. Was warned not to get caught with it, though. Anyway, I gathered the ingredients for her a few times, so I remember what they are. I even remember the spell she cast while she was brewing. Nice little rhyme."

"Spells don't rhyme," objected his little mistress. "And she should have been using Mix, if she was a hedge-mage."

"Spells don't rhyme," Jason agreed, "but if you can't read or write, turning a recipe into a poem is a good way to remember it."

"Had to have been a spell," Roxane protested. "I tried it once, did everything the rhyme said to, and nothing happened."

"The spell she would have used was Mix," he corrected. "It's the cantrip Athena's been using for her tonics. Since you don't know how to cast it, doing what the rhyme told you to do wouldn't have done much good. But, Athena, if you can get her started on Mix along with Arise?"

"I can," Louise nodded. "But you'll have to practice twice as much as Ima if you want to keep pace with her, since you'll be practicing two spells."

"That won't be hard." Roxane smirked. "Ima's lazy, if you haven't noticed. She's always looking to get out of working."

"So how hard will it be to collect the reagents – sorry, the ingredients – for the aniseed potion?" Jason asked.

"Not long. I can get them right now, and if Athena can make it today, I'll go see what else I can find out at de Montferat's place after the Inn closes."

"Be careful with that," Jason cautioned. "He's got dogs, he might have other surprises."

"Don't worry," Roxane smirked. "I wasn't the one who got my crew caught."

"Talking about de Montferat?" This time it was Jessica coming down the stairs, in the clothing she preferred to wear in the kitchen. "How much free time do you need for that today?"

"I gotta go collect ingredients," the redhead replied. "Then Athena's gotta mix up a potion for me, so I can go back to his townhouse for more scouting. You can use Jason however you like, though."

"Oh, I can?" the head faerie's eyes twinkled.

"No skin off my nose what you get up to with him." Roxane smirked. "Athena might say otherwise, though."

Louise gave the three of them her best flat stare. "I'm sure Jessica is too responsible to, to carry on with anyone while preparing for customers tonight."

Jessica laughed. "Don't worry. His virtue is safe enough today." Then she winked. "I'm saving the Bustier for later."

"You should find your own man to use it on," Louise grumbled. "Jason's mine."

"Oh, but I don't want to be his sister," the head faerie cooed. "You two can run along and work on your potion, while I put him to good use in my-"

"Stop!" Jason groaned. "Please, don't wind Athena up like that."

"Kitchen?" Jessica finished, suddenly sounding so innocent that butter wouldn't melt in her mouth.

"You know what you were implying."

"And every faerie here enjoys your long, hard-"

"Jessica!" Oh, yes, he was definitely blushing.

"-efforts making ice cream." She looked from Jason to Louise, as Roxane bent over, trying not to laugh out loud. "You two are so red! What could you possibly think I was talking about?"

He buried his head in his hands. "You told Athena about playing innocent that very first night. We already know what kind of game you're playing right now."

"You mean you don't want to play with me?"

Jessica sounded so disappointed that he looked up . . . to see her smiling broadly.

"Well, maybe we can play together another time," she said, still smiling. "But we do need to prepare for tonight, especially with the new dishes we'll be offering. So no trifling around in the kitchen, mister, even when your sister isn't here!"

Jason shook his head. "Athena, go get what you need for the potion. Roxane, we probably need to have you spend a lot of time at de Montferat's place, figuring out who visits him, or where he goes, and so on. I don't want to get you dismissed from this job, but-"

"That's fine," Jessica broke in. "Athena's already said she doesn't work for tips. So if she can support Roxane-"

"I'll do it too!" Ima came racing down the stairs to volunteer. "If you can pay well, and all, I mean. Do we get extra if we find out anything good?"

Jason and Louise exchanged glances.

"Yes, there could be extra pay for interesting information," his little mistress agreed cautiously. "But if de Montferat realizes he's being watched, it'll all be for nothing."

"Don't worry about that," Roxane put in. "He won't notice a thing. Not while I'm there."

---

The two girls returned from collecting reagents with plenty of time remaining to try to brew up a potion, as Jason helped Jessica prepare dishes that wouldn't be too out of place in a pizzeria. Then Roxane left again, this time with Ima, carrying the newly-brewed potion to see if it would work, shortly before the Inn opened for business.

And business itself was fairly calm, after the intensity of the tip race from last week. The faeries were worried, but hid that under smiling masks as they pitched the new dishes to the customers.

Which, by the middle of the evening, set off such a flurry of sampling that Jason had to leave the kitchen washroom for the kitchen proper to help keep up with orders.

"People really liked the ice cream," Jessica pointed out when he mentioned it to her. "They're more willing to give this a try, as well. And the pizza-related dishes are keeping them thirsty, so they're buying more drinks as well."

She grimaced. "It won't help as long as de Montferat's standing by to seize our profits, but if we can be rid of him-"

"We will," Jason promised her. "One way or another, we'll see it done."

---

But finally the night was over, and around that time Roxane and Ima slipped back into the Inn.

"De Montferat's asleep," the redhead reported. "Made sure to check his window and everything."

"And you crept right up to it to check!" hissed Ima. "What if you'd been caught?!"

Roxane rolled her eyes. "I told you on the way back, I took worse risks out on the streets and I never got caught then.

"Anyway," she said to Jason and Louise, pointedly ignoring Ima's look, "he lives alone. Not even a servant to pick up after him. Just his dogs in the yard, and the aniseed salve worked well enough."

"Gotta wonder why anyone keeps dogs, if there's a potion to get by them," Jason commented.

"There ain't supposed to be," Roxane corrected. "Like how you'll be in a heap of trouble if you get caught with a nobilum that helps you escape. Anyone who knows such a potion, they keep their mouths shut if they're canny. Don't want the Crown always lookin' at them."

"Which mean I can't tell Ann anything about it," Louise looked unsettled at the thought. "We'd both get in trouble if it came up."

"But good to know he lives alone," Jason commented. "Might have something to hide, and not want anyone in his business. And if he does have visitors, those are likely to be significant."

"So if he has visitors, should I try to see where they go after they leave?" Roxane asked. "Ima could stay behind to watch the townhouse."

"Hmph!" The other girl snorted. "I could find out more about visitors than you could!"

"Keeping telling yourself that," the redhead smirked. "Should we go back there tomorrow?"

Louise nodded. "At the least, we need to stop him from robbing the Inn again. So go back and keep watching him. And if he has visitors, send someone to bring Jason, so he can listen to what they say."

"Him, already?" Roxane looked him up and down. "Guess you don't move too loud, for someone your size. I'll find a spot to hide you in."

"Alright," Jason said. "Sounds like a plan. Let's all get some sleep, and we'll be about it tomorrow."

---

"Why didn't you wake me up?" Louise asked, coming into the taproom the next morning to find Jason sitting at one of the tables, carving at a block of wood, with a pile of already-carved wood to the side.

"Woke up early," he replied. "Gonna need a nap before we open, and I figured I oughtn't inflict that on you."

"Oh." She picked up one of his discards. "What are you working on, anyway?"

"A hearing cone, if I can actually get the cone shape without ruining the wood." Jason scowled. "It's not easy, and I was good at this back in the Boy Scouts."

Louise laughed, and leaned over to give him a hug . . . then, after a moment, a quick kiss on the top of his head.

He turned to smile up at her. "Trying to copy me?"

"Well, I am the taller one, while you're sitting down," she smirked back. "How does a hearing cone work, anyway?"

"If I can manage to carve it right? Small end goes in your ear, large end goes against the wall of a room you want to eavesdrop on."

Louise blinked. "Oh, you mean an ear trumpet! I hadn't ever realized they could be used like that, but-" She shook her head, then laughed ruefully.

"What?" it was his turn to ask.

"If we'd borrowed one, it would have been easier for Ann and I to listen for anyone coming." Louise shook her head again. "We might not have been caught as often, if we'd thought of it."

"Athena?" Jessica's voice came from the kitchen entrance, where she stood with an armload of foodstuffs from the basement. She yawned. "You're up a little early."

"Jason was gone," Louise replied, then hesitated. "And I sleep better next to someone. At home that was Kat, but here – so I woke up, and came looking for him."

"Well, don't worry, he's been too focused on that carving project to pay attention to me." The head faerie smiled sleepily, but then her gaze focused. "You'll be in the kitchen today. Signor Ampelio and his nephews are coming. Horrible timing, with de Montferat's interference, but-" She paused, then shook her head. "No help for it."

"As long as you don't wear the Bustier while I'm safely out of the way," Louise said, eyes narrowed.

"Brimir, wear the Bustier around them?!" Jessica let out a bark of disbelieving laughter. "There'd be no end of trouble from them. No, your brother's safe from me for another day."

"Good." His little mistress turned back to Jason. "Why don't I just write a letter to Ann, and ask her to send us an ear trumpet? She can probably even make sure it's a nobilum, so it'll work even better."

"That . . . yeah, that's probably a better idea than me wasting more time on this." Jason stood up and started to gather the wood. Yeesh, compared to this the Pinewood Derbies were nothing. "I'll go dump this mess into the hearth, alright?"

Jessica nodded her assent.

"Then you can walk me to the birdhouse," Louise said, "And when we're done with that you can go take that nap of yours. I'll even join you."

"Oh, you don't need to do that," Jessica smiled. "I woke up early myself, and Siesta did mention how cuddly Jason could be."

A tiny sound escaped from a rapidly reddening Louise, and she pointed to the kitchen. "H-h-hearth, n-now! Then l-l-letter!"

---

"You know, winding Athena up like that isn't very nice," Jason commented to Jessica that evening, during a slow spot.

"Yes, but she clings to you even more after someone makes her jealous," she pointed out. "And you don't mind that at all, do you?"

"I do care for her."

"Mmm." She gave him an appraising look, then glanced over as some new customers entered and stiffened.

"It's Signor Ampelio," Jessica warned in a very low voice. "Keep an eye on them, just in case."

---

"More wine, my pretty little whore!" Ampelio told Margaux in a booming voice. "I can still remember the last time I had to confess to a priest!"

"Me too, slut!" demanded the smallest the three youths that had accompanied the Romalian merchant, presumably Davide.

As Margaux went behind the counter, Jason caught her eye. "You don't mind them calling you that?"

She shrugged. "Romalian has different words that mean 'faerie'. Not much different than talking to a Gallian or Germanian, really."

"Huh."

[Louise] he sent out to his mistress, on the other side of the wall. [where did you learn vulgar romalian][?]

(And their new approach to mental texting was a little faster, and less frustrating.)

There was a pause before she replied. [what do you mean][?]

[signor ampelio and his nephews are calling the faeries some rather rude words][.][i can understand them][,][but margaux thinks they're using romalian words that mean faerie][.][if i can understand it][,][that means you understand it][,][unless my auxilum covers every language][.]

[i] Another pause. [the tutor we had for languages][,][every time][Henrietta][and i learned twenty-five words in a language][,][she taught us one of the vile ones][.][she made us promise not to use them][,][but she said it would be good to know when we were being insulted in other languages][.]

[ah][,][thank you for clearing that up][.] Now, do we tell Jessica and the other faeries or not? Leaning towards not, unless we can think of a compelling reason that they'd need to know.

---

The decision was partly taken out of his hands: Jessica had to give her full attention to keeping the peace between the Romalians and the faeries, including making sure new faeries were ready to switch in as the previous ones got fed up and walked away. And the atmosphere among the rest of the patrons noticeably darkened, as time went on and Ampelio's party enjoyed themselves to the fullest.

But Jessica, Margaux, and Nicole stuck it out determinedly, until finally Davide, courage well-fortified by several drinks, reached up, grabbed Nicole's breasts with both hands, and gave them both a squeeze.

The taller faerie went white with shock, as the boy laughed and yanked, trying to pull her to him and making her stumble and half-fall.

Time and past time for us to intervene. Jason started forward, sidling around to where the Romalians weren't looking.

Then Davide said something about 'on her knees', Jason couldn't hear the rest over the others' laughter but he could guess, and Nicole stood up, slapped the boy sharply across the face, and marched off.

Signor Ampelio exploded to his feet, shouting almost incoherently, and then Margaux picked up his flagon of wine and pitched the red contents into his face before she marched off, chin held high. By now the entire taproom was watching the drama.

The man's face turned puce, and he took a step in Margaux's direction . . . only to be slammed back into his seat as Jason grabbed his shoulders from behind.

"Now ye best be harkenin' to me lay, matey," he growled.

"Son of a whore! I'll cut your balls off and feed them to you!" Signor Ampelio started as he shot up once again-

Only to be slammed back down again. And this time Jason didn't let go. "The way ye scurvy swabs be treatin' me beauteous wenches, there's nary a knave here'd not hurrah were I to boot yer sorry dungbies out the door! And ye be tryin' too hard, so methinks ye cocksucking landlubbers be enjoying a taste of the cat'o'nine upside yer arses!"

He paused, and then the first titters started, and soon the whole taproom was laughing.

Ampelio wrenched himself free and got to his feet, turning around and glaring, puffing himself up-

And had to look up quite a ways just to meet Jason's eyes. All told, the man probably wasn't more than about 5-foot-8.

Jason just glared, and after a few moments he thought he could see how the merchant was unnerved by the featureless mask he wore.

"Boys, come! We'll leave these sons of whores to their filth!" Ampelio blustered, turning around and marching to the door. His nephews followed, turning once or twice to try to glare back. Then they were out the door.

A few seconds after that, the cheering started. Cheeks a bit heated, Jason nonetheless smirked behind his mask, bowed, and trod back to his position near the kitchen entrance.

[Louise][tell them they can come back out][,][ampelio and his nephews are gone]

A few moments later, Margaux and Nicole marched back out of the kitchen, to a renewed chorus of cheers, as well as many calls for service. Once he was sure that attention was mostly off him, Jason ducked into the kitchen to take off his mask, empty his flagon of sweet tea, and get a refill.

"I saw the whole thing from the doorway. I see you're rescuing other faeries, now," Louise observed in a voice that would have been tart if she weren't so obviously amused.

"Eh, they were handling themselves just fine. I was merely getting rid of the unwanted element."

"Yes, don't worry, Athena," Jessica commented as she came into the kitchen. "You're still the only faerie Jason has had to actually rescue."

"Come on, Jessica," he responded before his little mistress could. "Quit teasing."

"If you say so," she cooed in response, giving him a quick hug. Which did not do Louise's expression any favors.

"Scarron was about to step it, but your pirating was remarkably popular. Everyone out there is in the mood to keep their throats wet so they can go on about what they saw." Jessica giggled. "Drinking pitch from the tears of the damned? You realize some of them are getting drunk enough to take your rumors seriously?"

"Hey, if it keeps them in line, right?"

"No need to worry about that. Margaux and Nicole are being treated like princesses right now, and the others aren't faring much worse. But I think Scarron will keep your costume intact even after you leave, so he can put it on when he decides the Brute needs to make an appearance."

"Whatever he thinks will work." Jason chuckled. "I'd better get back out there, I suppose."

---

"Sir Brute?"

The speaker was a tall, thin man who had a slightly soft look to him. Jason was guessing merchant.

"Aye?"

"I just wanted to say, um, that I've dealt with Signor Ampelio before. Seeing him taken down like that was . . . Brimir, I've not seen anything so deserved in my like."

"Why, thankee. 'Twas a pleasure."

"Are there any vintages you're fond of? I wouldn't mind treating you to a bottle."

"That's very kind of ye, matey. But," he gestured with his flagon, half-filled with the thick, black fluid that he'd had been sipping on, "ye can see I be a man of . . . refined tastes."

The merchant stared at the flagon, gulped audibly, and hurried back to his table.

It was rather difficult for Jason to keep his resulting laughter inaudible.

---

"She's taking chances she oughtn't!" This time it was Roxane's turn to complain about risky behavior.

"Weren't no chance!" Ima scoffed. "Man'll say anything if he's tryin' to impress."

"As if you were asking questions on your knees!"

Jason face-palmed. "Okay, first? Were either of you spotted by de Montferat or anyone who'd tell him?"

"She was!" Roxane insisted.

"Sure, like a toff's gonna brag about gettin' a bit o' strange from outta the slums," Ima retorted. "'nyways, found out what you wanted. The mark's gonna have a visitor 'round nightfall in two days, like he does every week this past month. Shifty, low-class lookin' fellow, the toff said. Thinks they're lovers."

"You're sure about the visitor?" Louise asked, looking a bit distressed.

"Course I'm sure!" Ima retorted. "He was so eager to prove he lived around there, 'n that he had money, that he told me 'bout half the toffs what lived there. 'N I gave him a right knee-trembler after, so's he won't be thinkin' 'bout what he blabbed."

"Right." Jason shook his head. "Guess that wasn't at the Inn, so . . . even still, you probably shouldn't go back, in case anyone notices you."

"Hmph. I'll say 'e noticed me. Faeries learn tricks o' flirtin' me mammy never knew."

"We just need to go back in two days, when the stranger is going to be there," Louise pointed out. "In the meantime, we'll spend some more time getting you both started on cantrips."

"Yeah, sounds about right," Jason agreed. "Bedtime for all of us."

---

"Do you think that stranger really is Reconquista?" Louise asked, laying her head against his shoulder as they waited for sleep to come.

"We'll find out. Whether or not he is, hopefully we'll also find out why he's stealing from people and put a stop to it."

"Mmm." She snuggled a bit closer.

Suddenly feeling very bold, he wiggled his arm under and around her, pulling her even closer in. Her only response was to sigh and go limp again him, and soon they both nodded off.

---

"Using an ear horn to listen through walls." Agnes shook her head. "Not a trick I'd heard of, although I wouldn't be surprised if the odd maid or footman hasn't stumbled across it." She handed over the package that Henrietta had sent. "It's ennobled to increase the sound you can hear through it: Turn the small ring one way to make it louder, the other way to make it not so loud. Be sure you don't turn it too loud."

"What now?" Louise asked, as the bodyguard left. "We have to wait until tomorrow evening to try – we'll have to tell Jessica we need to be out, and then-"

"Then we find out what de Montferat's up to, if we can." Jason shrugged. "If this doesn't work out, we'll see about breaking into the townhouse and looking for evidence. You'll need to keep your wand handy, if we do."

"Of course I will!" Louise retorted. "You think he won't defend his home from burglars?!"

"If the meantime, we wait. You teach the faeries with magic, I help out in the kitchen, we do our jobs and get ready."

---

"Athena seems on edge tonight. Is something the matter?" Jessica asked during a slow spot.

"No," Jason jerked his head towards the kitchen washroom, and she followed with eyebrows raised.

"We're going to spy on de Montferat tomorrow, just before the sun goes down," he said quietly, once he was sure they were out of earshot of the taproom. "We shouldn't be in much danger, but we haven't done anything risky like this, so I'm not surprised Athena's a bit nervous."

"And you aren't?"

"I have every faith in her ability to get us out of trouble if we get caught." Up to and including her blowing up de Monferat if she needs to – at least then we can look for his loot and scram before anyone official shows up.

Jessica gave him a long look. "Well, be careful. I've grown rather fond of having you around."

---

"You'd best make sure to follow my lead," Roxane told Jason and Louise quietly as they walked down the street towards where Turenne de Montferat lived. "The dogs'll pay you no heed, and Athena, you won't be so remarkable, but Jason's going to be a little tricky to keep hidden."

"Considering that the sun's not quite down, yeah." He looked around. For all that the shadows were lengthening, there wasn't really anywhere someone could hide. At least they'd found him a traveler's cloak large enough to conceal the outlandish costume of the Brute.

"Not to worry, the shadows'll make it easier," the coppery redhead assured him. "But you'd best move when I tell you, else someone'll notice you scrambling over the wall."

"Why can't I just Levitate us over the wall?" Louise asked.

Roxane shrugged. "Could, I guess. The main thing's to do it when nobody'll see. Here, we need to turn down this alley. No magic light, either."

The alley was narrow enough that it was nearly dark, even as Jason's eyes adjusted to the reduced light. He caught Louise as she stumbled on a bit of trash. [take my hand][,][if you are having trouble seeing]

She stiffened, but then her hand reached out and grabbed his.

"Further in," Roxane whispered. "We don't want anyone looking down the alley and seeing us."

She quickly led them all the way to the end of the alley, where their way was blocked by a stone wall.

"Here, these stones are loose. Help me move them aside, and we'll be able to crawl through." She looked up at Jason. "I think you can wiggle through, if we move enough stones."

"I'll do it," Louise said, drawing her wand. She reached out with Levitate, pulling at the small stone blocks, and soon there was a gap at the bottom, large enough for the girls to squeeze through.

Jason looked at the hole dubiously. "I'm pretty sure I can't make it through that."

This started up a quick whispered conversation on the other side that he couldn't quite make out.

[wait] Louise sent, once the whispering ended. [i will make the hole bigger]

Then there was a series of tiny explosions, and one by one, several more stones fell out of the wall. Then, after his little mistress was presumably satisfied, the stones were pulled away with Levitate.

It was still a tight fit, but by getting on his back and sucking in his gut at the right moments, Jason managed to fit through the gap after a minute or two. Then Louise Levitated the stones back into place, so that the wall looked whole once more.

"Right, we're on the other side, now," Roxane whispered. "They can keep watch on the street out there all they like, it don't matter for us. We've just got to be careful going over the wall."

"Are there secret ways like this everywhere in Bruxelles?" Louise whispered back, sounding a little unnerved.

"I dunno," the redhead replied. "The Sewer Lords might, but they wouldn't say, not even to each other. I just found this while tryin' to find the best approach to de Montferat."

She led them down the new alley to a particular spot where someone had left a streak of charcoal on one of the walls, barely visible in the fading light. "Here's his place. I'll go up first, and if I give the clear, you follow."

Jason and Louise watched her as she scrambled up the wall, which looked about twenty feet high.

[for all that she claims she was a beggar who was just the lookout for a group of thieves][,][i am beginning to think she was really part of that group][,][and being a beggar was just her cover]

[of course][!] Louise replied. [she just cannot admit it][,][that might get her in front of a magistrate]

Roxane reached the top, and slowly looked over the edge. Then she quickly pulled her head back down, and slowly raised it again, looking all around. Apparently satisfied, she waved to the two of them.

In response, Louise Levitated them both up to the top of the wall, stopping just below the edge.

"They've got a guard walking up and down the street, but he's past us. Get over, now, before he comes back!"

They did as the ex-burglar urged, and made it down the other side with no shouts of alarm.

Three large mastiffs tussled with one another on the other end of the yard, close to the fence that was in front of the townhouse. A fourth mastiff, lying nearby and looking bored, raised his nose into the air and sniffed, but then settled back down. None of the dogs so much as looked in their direction.

"That's a good potion," Jason whispered. "I see why you'd get into trouble for using it."

Roxane grinned. "Haven't been caught yet. Here, into the shadows before the guard comes back. If Ima's mark was right, that visitor should be coming any time now."

The sun had indeed set, and parts of the small yard of de Montferat's townhouse were now shrouded in deep shadows, and it was to one such patch of darkness that Roxane led them to. With their cloaks pulled up and hiding hair both red and green, Jason could barely see either of the girls, but they all had a good view of the front door.

"Is that the only entrance?" he whispered.

"Yes. Now hush!"

Her warning was just in time, as the guard walking the street came into view, looking back and forth, and even scanning the rooftops. Jason's heart began to pound as the man peered into the darkness, straight at them-

But he turned his head and peered at the dwelling across the street, and kept walking, and soon left their field of view.

They didn't have to wait long after that. The sky had scarcely grown dark, and Jason's heart had not entirely calmed, when a cloaked figure, not the guard, walked past the fence in front, peering intently all around.

Once more his heart sped up, and Jason held his breath, waiting-

And then the cloaked figure reappeared, apparently satisfied itself that there were no watchers. He quickly walked to the gate, unlocked it and slipped inside, offered his hand to a curious mastiff for inspection, and then furtively made his way to the house, where he knocked on the door with a peculiar rhythm that was obviously a code.

The door opened from the inside, the cloaked figure slipped through, and Jason let out his breath in a shockingly loud gasp once the door closed.

Roxane had been shifting, but she froze when he started breathing again. "Don't do that!" she hissed. "Breath even and regular, you make less noise that way!"

He nodded. "Got a visitor, like Ima said," he whispered. "I need to know what their business is."

"Not much point if that one's just a lover, eh?" She nudged him. "Take off your cloak and put your mask on, you'll be harder to see that way. Athena, keep watch, in case anyone else shows up. Wave if they do, I'll keep an eye out."

Now in his black leather, Jason stood up-

"Back down!" Roxane hissed.

He crouched back down, wondering what the problem was-

And then the guard came back the other way, once again looking around for intruders.

"Didn't you hear his steps coming?" the redhead demanded.

"No."

Roxane didn't reply for a moment, then shook her head. "'s what I get for bringing goosecaps on a job. Now come on! Quietly!"

So Jason followed her to the nearest wall.

"We'll want to get to a window. Best chance you'll have to hear what they say."

"Not necessarily," he whispered back. "I just need to be outside the room they're in."

"How do you reckon that?"

He pulled out the ear horn that Agnes had provided. "Nobilum. Set it against a wall, hear what's inside."

"Void Above," she breathed. "Wouldn't have minded having one of those, back in the day." Roxane nodded towards the nearest wall. "Let's see if they're behind that one, then."

De Montferat and his visitor were not behind the wall, or at least not making enough noise to be heard, so they moved along the townhouse, listening every five feet or so.

Then came the footsteps of the guard, and this time Jason did hear them soon enough to freeze without her having to tell him so.

But still they didn't hear anything from inside, and every five feet was that much closer to the edge of the deep shadows they needed to stay in to be hidden. The two were just about to run out of shadows he set the ear horn to the wall and finally heard an audible murmur. He grinned in triumph, nodded to Roxane, and dialed the sensitivity of the borrowed nobilum higher.

"-are a fool, but the mighty hand of Brimir is stretched out before you. And you will find that you may yet shelter under it, when Brimir's wrath is poured out upon the so-called 'Blessed' Realms!"

Jason's eyebrows shot up at hearing the chastising words, delivered in a stern baritone. Jackpot!

"I already told you, this bourg is stubborn!" a tenor replied in what was almost a whine.

"You had no trouble with Dethier," the baritone pointed out.

"Dethier was an outsider," the tenor countered. "You should handle them, like Pirard."

"Handling him nearly exposed us, long before the appointed time, and he was but one! No, the chance of some escaping is too high. Be strenuous, Turenne. They can hardly oppose you, after all."

"Do you truly think I have not been stern?" the tenor cried. "I have dealt them all crippling blows this week, but I tell you they are stubborn! They will hang on with all the tenacity they can muster. It could be a month or more before they crumble!"

"That is far too long to wait," the baritone warned.

"Precisely my point!" the tenor exclaimed, before continuing on in a suggestive tone. "But consider the spoils, if you act now. Surely your associates cannot complain at acquiring such-"

"Shut. Your. Filthy. Mouth!" the baritone ground out. "We are righteous servants of Brimir!"

"Aren't we all?" the tenor said mockingly. "But that doesn't prevent anyone from savoring such delicacies, plucked fresh from the tree."

There was a long moment of silence.

"Take your time, if you must," the baritone said. "A month, or even two, if they prove especially stubborn."

"That's not what you said-" The tenor broke off with a gasp. "No! I won't allow it!"

"Have a care, de Montferat," the baritone warned. "You defy us at your peril."

"Do I?" the tenor asked angrily. "I serve Her Majesty, while you serve Reconquista. What would the Crown give as a reward to one who can reveal the danger you pose to it?"

"We can disappear, and we are not known to the Crown, Turenne. So go to your whore Queen with a wild tale, and invite her scrutiny into your affairs!"

There was another long moment of silence.

"What do you want me to do?" de Montferat finally asked, sounding defeated.

"When all are gathered away in their false worship, as you suggested, we shall send-"

"Impossible!" the tenor snapped. "If you had agreed to undertake that small matter, so I could be quit of this bourg as well . . . But if I am to continue unremarked for another month, then I must maintain my reputation for piety."

"We have already made the arrangements," the baritone stated, sounding impatient.

"And you can still use them, if you'll only undertake-"

"Enough! We cannot afford to take such risks. You will simply have to make your excuses."

"And you speak of not affording to take risks!" de Montferat snapped. "You are certainly keen on leaving me here, facing scrutiny for my sudden impiety!"

"But we must make haste. Would you truly risk having all you have accomplished undone?"

"If I am safe enough, left here for an extra month or more, then delaying for a few days is surely no risk at all."

"I did not say that," the baritone objected.

"Then do as I asked, and send your-"

"No, Turenne!" The baritone paused. "Three days after you make your weekly show of piety. I will send a courier then, at the noon hour. He will have sealed instructions for you."

"A written message? Even if it turns to ash, if he's caught it will lead directly to me!"

"The seal shall be concealed within, of course."

"That . . . seals don't work that way!"

The baritone chuckled. "And still you doubt the authority that Brimir has bestowed upon his chosen prophet. I assure you, Turenne, we have no interest in any tax collector receiving extra scrutiny. The seal shall work.

"Now, do not discuss the contents with the courier. It is not his place to know more than he should."

"Why not simply tell me the details when you visit next week?"

"I may not know them, Turenne. And I may not visit, either. Rearranging everything as you require will be a delicate process."

And again there was a long silence.

"Indeed, I cannot linger," the baritone finally continued, musingly. "I must begin to rearrange matters as soon as possible, so I will be on my way now. Brimir keep you, Turenne."

There was the sound of a door being opened and closed, and shortly after Jason heard the front door open and close as well. He froze once more, praying that the agent would not do a circuit around the townhouse-

Then the front gate opened and closed, and he relaxed.

De Montferat, on the other hand, swore violently. "You sneer at my display of piety, but talk so highly of your vaunted prophet! If it wouldn't ruin my long years of sacrifice, I'd have some of her Majesty's guard here, waiting for your courier!"

He fell silent again, and eventually Jason dialed the ear horn back down and pulled away from the wall. He nodded to Roxane, and she led him back to Louise.

"Did you hear what you needed?" the redhead whispered.

"I think so," he nodded. "But we need to get back to the Inn. I need to ask Scarron a few things, and then discuss it with Athena privately. Still, if all goes well, pretty soon de Montferat won't be a problem anymore."

"Good. May not like begging, 'specially not while they paw at me, but it's a better place to stay than anywhere else I might find."

[truly what we needed][?] Louise sent as Roxane led them back the way they'd came, over the wall, into the alley, and through the hole made by pulling the loose bricks away into the adjacent alley.

[visitor was reconquista][.][courier next week][,][written message][,][hopefully where to find more reconquista]

[Henrietta][needs to know]

[discuss when back at][Inn][alone]

---

Sure, the conversation had been suggestive. That is, if Jason's auxilum hadn't been acting up, and maybe he should have thought of that before and had Louise listen instead. But anyway, confirming what exactly de Montferat and his visitor had been meant by 'handling' people seemed like a pretty good idea before trying to puzzle anything else out.

So the first step was to talk to somebody who'd know. And Jessica was busy with customers, when the three returned to the Inn.

"Scarron, I've got a couple of names to ask you about," he told the older man after pulling him aside into the washroom.

"Ah, ah! The Inn is open for business, you must call me 'mi mademoiselle'!"

At this – spoken in a falsetto, the man was refusing to break character – 'Mi Mademoiselle' pirouetted, showing off the entire expanse of well-muscled, er, 'femininity' barely concealed by a few scraps of leather.

Agh! Where's eye-bleach when we need it! "Yes, ma'am. But about the names?"

"They are in relation to your efforts to handle our sudden difficulty, oui?"

Jason nodded. "There was talk of 'handling' them. I need to know what that meant. I mean, it's easy to guess, but," he shrugged, "given everything, it's best to be certain."

"Oui, vérité. And what names did you hear?"

"First one was 'Dethier', also identified as an outsider."

"'Dethier'?" Mi Mademoiselle looked thoughtful. "There was a man who sought to establish a bakery several months back. His daughter was very beautiful, I recall wondering if she would wish to be a faerie . . . but his endeavor failed, and they left the bourg very quickly."

Jason nodded again, thoughtfully. "That's worth thinking on. And then other name was Pirard?"

Mi Mademoiselle sucked his breath in. "Pirard? De Montferat spoke of him?"

"Yeah. What happened?"

"It was a great tragedy, oui? Not two weeks before you arrived. His shop burned down, and both he and his wife were caught inside and perished before they could escape. And you say de Montferat spoke of handling them."

Jason nodded for a third time, as his eyes widened. "Our esteemed tax collector has a ruthless streak, if he's having people killed."

"That we already knew, mon ami. I do not serve him for the pleasure of it, non?"

"Right. Jessica said what happens if he sees a faerie when he visits."

It was Mi Mademoiselle's turn to nod, and grimly. "Oui. If she is lucky, de Montferat takes her himself. Otherwise she is given to his retainers to enjoy. Either way, shall I permit him to ruin any more young lives in my safekeeping? Non!"

"Thank you. That's what I needed to know. Now I need to talk it over with Athena, and plan out our next move."

---

"Some of that seems awfully vague," Louise said, after Jason recounted the conversation to her.

"Yeah, but you can't expect people to just say exactly what you need to hear when you're eavesdropping," he pointed out. "That's something that only happens in badly-told stories, or maybe if they've got you figured out and they're setting a trap by telling you what they want you to hear."

Her eyes widened. "What if they were doing that now?"

"It's possible, I guess, but that would mean that they expected us to be there, and have a way to keep the dogs from caring about us . . ." Jason frowned and scratched his chin. "Roxane would have to be in on it. Think that's the case?"

"No, but but what if she is?"

"Then we're in a lot of trouble, given how much we're relying on her. I don't think Roxane's Reconquista either, but in case she is? Keep your wand handy, ready to blast us out of there."

Louise put her chin up. "I will!" she said, very firmly.

"And honestly, if I were Reconquista and I were her boss, I wouldn't send us to a real meeting. I'd do everything I could to convince us that Reconquista isn't active in Bruxelles. So this was probably legit, and they probably weren't feeding us information to lead us into a trap."

"That's two 'probably's in a row!" she objected.

"That's the nature of covert intelligence," Jason shrugged. "We have to make our best guess, and pray that it goes more well than not."

"I don't like that, and Henrietta won't either."

"I'd wager Agnes has told her much the same, though."

Louise grimaced, but then nodded. "With what Scarron said about those two men, it does lend weight to what de Montferat was talking about. You say he handled Dethier-"

"Who went out of business. Maybe by being taxed into oblivion."

"But Pirard died in a fire, and the Reconquista man claimed to have handled him."

"Yeah. Ruthless bastards, if they're killing people who're inconvenient to them."

"Not just killing," she mused. "You said De Montferat spoke of dealing crippling blows, and then he tried to offer the Reconquista agent spoils, that were delicacies fresh-plucked from the tree, if Reconquista would handle everything directly."

Jason nodded.

"Do you think de Montferat meant the faeries at the Inn, when they were speaking of 'delicacies'?"

He closed his eyes, trying to recall the exact words. "The Reconquista agent was offended by the offer. If he's a true believer, and follows a moral code that requires chastity . . . it's possible. Even likely, perhaps. But there's no way to say for sure."

"After seeing how the men in this city treat commoner women, I'm sure enough," Louise declared. "The Inn has given us shelter and helped us fit in as best they could. We will not leave them to de Montferat's non-existent mercy."

He blinked. "Thought you didn't like working here."

"I don't!" she snapped. "That doesn't change the fact that they have tried their best to help us."

"Fair enough," Jason chuckled, before turning serious again. "Another thing that concerns me is how the agent said they didn't want scrutiny on any tax collector. Easy to guess that they're busily subverting as many of them in Bruxelles as they can."

"Well then, we'll just have to see that they don't!"

"Right. So I need to write down as much of this as I can remember, so that Henrietta gets it all."

Louise nodded encouragingly.

"After that, we need to get ready to take them both captive when the courier shows up, so that the Princess gets de Montferat, the letter, and the courier. One tidy package, all intact and ready to be interrogated."

That got his little mistress to freeze.

"Attacking a tax collector," she said slowly. "Like you said when I was trying to win that Brimir-damned Bustier, that could be seen as treason."

"Well, if it's treason, it's a good thing that it's being done by a green-eyed verdetress named Athena, and not anyone named Louise de Vallière, right?"

She stared at him for a moment, then at the presently-green locks of her hair, and laughed shakily. "That's true, but attacking him . . ."

"If it's too risky, any way we can intercept the courier and just get the letter? It sounded like there was some sort of security spell on it, but-"

"Yes, it's a way to send messages safely. The seal has the Name of whoever it's being sent to. You can even seal it twice, with your Name and theirs, as long as both of you know them."

Huh. Sounds like they came up with magical Pretty Good Privacy. Neat, if rather inconvenient at the moment. "Cool, I think I see how that works. It proves who the letter came from and makes sure it can only be read by the right person."

Louise nodded. "But hiding a seal," she frowned. "That's not possible. A Name is for declaring yourself."

"Well, obviously I'm no expert on magic," Jason replied, smiling. "But when it comes to machines, when an expert says something can't be done, he usually means it's something that no one's figured out how to do, yet. We've even had machines that people proved couldn't work, but did, because we didn't quite understand the underlying principles at work."

"What does that have to do with magic?"

"Same thing. Maybe someone came up with a way to make seals work a little differently."

Her frown deepened.

"Besides," he went on, "if you're going to claim to be the chosen good guys, divinely favored, it's a good idea to have something to wave around as proof. Some new magic trick that seems to break the rules would be a good one."

"I suppose," Louise replied, still frowning and shaking her head. "But . . . I don't know. And I don't like the idea that Reconquista might truly know some hidden mystery of magic."

"Just because they found something, doesn't mean they got it direct from Brimir." Jason paused. "You know Mark. Any chance you could disarm the self-destruct on the seal?"

She shook her head again. "It'd be a tremendous risk even if the seals weren't hidden. With them somehow hidden? No, I wouldn't even know where to begin."

"So the only one who can safely open the message is de Montferat himself." He smiled grimly. "It sounds like we have two choices. Wait until the target disarms the seal, and attack then, or intercept the courier, take the message, and get de Montferat to disarm the seal afterward."

"Her Highness's bodyguard," Louise said, sounding a bit relieved. "Agnes. She could probably capture the courier easily."

"Maybe," Jason acknowledged. "But then Henrietta would have to negotiate with de Montferat to be able to read the letter. Probably have to offer him clemency to get him to open it safely."

"But the letter is the more important part," Louise pointed out. "After all, it's clear that Reconquista has established itself in Bruxelles, and de Montferat himself is just on the very edge of it. Her Highness needs live Reconquista agents more than she needs one corrupt tax collector. And the details in that message, regarding whatever issue that both of them agreed required swift action? Surely they will lead her to discover more agents. So we ought to take the more sure path."

"Yeah, but her Highness would have to go easy on him. Call it another case of the uppity commoner thinking above his station if you like, but I don't want him to get off lightly. He's been abusing a position of public trust to loot the commoners in his bourg, and – I confirmed this with Scarron before coming up here – to rape the faerie at the Inn as well. Let. Him. Hang."

She grimaced. "You truly must be careful about saying such things."

Jason gave her a hard. "I'll try to restrain myself in public, little mistress, but if caring for the commoners is your God-given duty, then de Montferat hasn't just betrayed his post, but committed blasphe on top of that. And cloaked himself in a reputation for piety as he did so."

She sighed, slumping against him as they sat together on the edge of the bed. "However it works out, de Montferat will be relieved of his position as tax collector. So we'll be protecting the Inn from him, like we promised."

"But not whoever he preys on in his next assignment. That's something that's known to happen, where I'm from. A rotten apple is shuffled from post to post, spreading his rot wherever he lands, ruining the lives of all he touches. Won't help the moral fiber of those moving him around, either For the good of all his future victims, let's stop him now."

Louise's face grew troubled and uncertain. "Maybe we should let her Highness decide how to proceed. It's her mission, after all. And what you've overheard is enough to have de Montferet detained for questioning."

Jason blinked. "Maybe that's true, little mistress, but right now all we have is my word against his, and if we go with that we'll need to explain just how we were able to lurk not ten yards away from where his pack of mastiffs were tussling. And not just to Henrietta, either, but to whoever's on the Council that she'd have to persuade to issue the arrest order. It'd be a betrayal of Roxane if that got out. Remember, her potion's illegal. And we probably couldn't have done this without her."

"That's true." Then her eyes widened. "Brimir, telling Mother and Father about that man trying to kidnap me would be . . . but letting them know how I've been dressing, how I've been acting around men! That might be worse!"

Hah! Persuasion crit! "But if we bring the princess in when we have both the agent and the damning message, it's not the word of a commoner versus a noble, it's physical proof at hand. Something Henrietta can wave around without having to get us involved."

"And Mother and Father won't have to hear about what I've been doing." Then Louise shuddered. "And Zerbst won't find out, either. Can you imagine how insufferable she'd be?"

"Huh." He thought it over. "I wonder if she'd come down to the Inn and demand a place here, to prove she could do it better?"

And as much as he cherished his little mistress, he had to admit that there was a certain something to the thought of Kirche costumed as a faerie.

"Jason," Louise started warningly, "do I need to punish you for disloyal thoughts?"

"Well, it's not like she'd last long. As readily as she takes men who strike her fancy to her bed, Jessica would have to ask her to leave sooner rather than later." Then he grinned down at Louise. "But wouldn't it have been a sight to see her serving Signor Ampelio and his boys?"

Louise blinked. Then giggled. "I didn't get to see that, but with what Margaux and Nicole were saying when they came to the kitchen . . . at least I got to see you settle them down! You looked like a pirate demon ready to drag sinners to the bottom of the ocean!"

Jason shrugged. "It got the job done. And once we get de Montferat taken care of, the Inn should be able to afford to deal with other Romalian merchants. There's gotta be some who don't act like that, even if they charge a bit more.

"Anyway, we will want to talk this over with Henrietta the next time we see, to coordinate everything."

She frowned. "That won't be until the weekend. Brimir, it'll be almost an entire week before we can catch de Montferat and the Reconquista agent."

"True. On the other hand, we can still send Roxane out to keep an eye on things. I'll lend her the ear horn so that she can listen in if de Montferat has any more visitors, and if she thinks she's up to it she might even be able to follow him back to wherever he stays."

"You think so?" Louise sounded doubtful. "Wouldn't he notice her?"

"He'd definitely notice me, might notice you, but from what she's said, she cased targets for the gang of thieves she was with. Following a rich-looking mark home without him realizing it is one of those things they'd have wanted her to be able to do. Maybe even break in and scout out the valuables so that the rest of the gang knew where to find the best loot quickly."

His little mistress gave him a funny look. "You seem to know a lot about how thieves work. What kind of education did you have?"

"Well," he smiled sheepishly. "This is more about those, er, training scenarios I would do with friends. It was all just for fun, though. The closest I ever got to actually doing anything like that was the stage magic my father taught me."

"'Stage-'? Do you mean how you mage that coin disappear?"

Jason nodded.

Louise narrowed her eyes. "We're getting along better than we did, those first couple of days, right?"

"Uh, yeah."

"Then, tell me how you did that!"

He raised one eyebrow, a little surprised by the sudden . . . well, it wasn't quite a non-sequitur, was it? "Alright, little mistress," he replied with a chuckle. "Here, get me a coin from your tips, and I'll show you how I do it."

Once he had a silver penny in his right hand, Jason held it up for her to see. "Okay, now I move it from one hand to the other, right?" he said, making an elaborate grabbing motion with his left hand, "but then," he opened up his left hand, revealing that it was empty, "the coin is gone!"

"I know! How do you make it reappear in my ear?!"

"Oh, that's easy. Like this!" He reached out with his right hand, stroked her ear lightly, making her twitch, and brought the coin into view. All as he had the first night.

"That . . . argh! That doesn't explain anything!"

"Really? Think about it, little mistress. I know you aren't a dullard."

She glared at him, then moved her furious gaze from one hand to the other. "You – do it again!"

So he smiled and did it again.

"You . . . used your left hand to pluck the coin from your right hand, but you used your right hand to pull it from my ear! You kept it in your right hand the entire time!"

Jason grinned. "Well reasoned. Want to test it out?"

Louise nodded, then hastened to add: "But you have to use the same trick!"

"Of course." For a third time, he made the grabbing motion with his left hand, and opened it up to reveal that there was no coin.

"Now show me your other hand."

So he opened up his right hand, still smiling. And there was no coin.

"I said you had to use the same-!"

Louise cut off as he reached for her ear with his right hand, and for the third time seemingly pulled the coin from her ear.

She grabbed her hair in frustration. "How. Did. You. Do. That!?"

Jason laughed outright. "Would you believe faerie dust? We're at a faerie inn, after all."

Her face turned red. "No! Jason, I-I t-t-told you to s-show me h-h-how you d-did that!"

He leaned over and kissed the top of her head. "Want to be able to show Henrietta, next time you meet her? The trick takes practice."

"Aha! There is a trick to it!"

"Yep. Okay, Louise. Look closely. This time I'll do it without teasing you."

For a fourth time, he held the silver penny up in his right hand. This time, though, he held his hand at an angle so that she could see it drop into his palm as he made a grabbing motion with his left hand. "You were right. The coin stayed in my right hand the entire time."

"But it wasn't there when I checked!"

"That's because, while you're looking at the hand that's empty, I can push the coin between two fingers with my thumb." He suited deed to word, and held his hand palm up for her to see. "My hand looks empty, but when I flip it over like this, you can see the coin sticking out. Once you aren't paying attention to my right hand, I can pull it back into my palm like so, and then pretend to pull it from wherever I like."

"Oh."

"The ear's a good spot, because you can't see what my hand is doing." Then Jason smirked. "If I were doing this in front of the customers, to entertain them – and no, I don't know enough tricks to put on a show that would last an entire meal – I'd probably pull the coin from somewhere saucier, like a faerie's bosom."

"From my-" Louise blushed. "You would . . . you dog!"

"What, you wouldn't want to be my faerie? Come on, little mistress, who else could I get to do it with me?"

"You could always get-" Then her eyes widened. "Jason! Stop teasing me!"

He laughed again. "Hey, at least you caught it before you gave me permission to start fishing coins out of the other faeries' cleavage."

She glared, but then suddenly her expression changed, and she was looking up at him with enormous, pleading eyes. "You wouldn't really do that, would you? Even if you tricked me into saying you could?"

"Considering what that kind of intimacy could lead to?" Jason shook his head. "So, did you want to learn these tricks? It takes practice to do them smoothly."

"Tricks? You just showed me one trick."

"Yeah, but each part of the routine is its own trick, that you have to practice. Dad taught me to do them because I was clumsy as a kid, and he hoped I'd be a little more coordinated once I'd learned them." Jason shrugged. "It worked well enough."

"Well, I'll have time to practice. It's almost a week before we can catch them!"

"True enough. Alright, get a penny for yourself and I'll show you the basics."

Once she was sitting next to him again, he held up his penny. "See how I have it? When I grab at it with my left hand, I can just let it fall down into my palm, even though it looks like it's in my left hand. Now you try it . . ."

---

"You don't mind lending me this?" Roxane looked wide-eyed at the ennobled ear horn Jason held out for her to take.

"Well, I'll get upset if you lose it or sell it, and Athena will get in trouble with Ann, but I'm hoping that you're sensible enough that it won't be an issue. Besides, if de Montferat does have other visitors, we need to know what they're talking about."

Roxane nodded. "Might be able to get a handful of gold for it, but training in magic's worth a lot more than that, over time. I won't lose it."

---

"You probably ought to know," Nicole murmured to Jason, as the tasks in the kitchen caused them to end up side by side, "Jessica's planning on wearing the Bustier tonight. She's expecting business to be slow enough that she won't be needed, much."

"Oh." Oh, shit. "Thanks for the warning."

She glanced up at him sidelong. "Thank you for making Ampelio a laughingstock. That put the customers into a good mood for the rest of the night, and we made a lot of tips out of it."

---

Even forewarned, it wasn't enough preparation. Not by a long shot.

"Jason?" a soft voice asked, as he started with the first dishes. So he turned around, and froze, staring.

Instead of her usual faerie outfit, Jessica had opted for a black, ruffled skirt to go along with the bustier that adorned her torso. Said skirt was still short enough and tight enough to show off, as she spun around, the smooth, pale legs that rose all the way up to meet at her heart-shaped derriere.

There was just enough of a gap between skirt and bustier to prove that her belly was still flat and unmarked, and then his eyes traveled up the bustier to – not even Kirche in her trick dress had displayed cleavage so perfectly round, so delectably firm! - before it gave way to the pale, creamy skin of her shoulders and arms.

And then there was her face, again smooth and flawless, her lips with the promise of heaving passion, her dark eyes just the tiniest exotic tilt, her silky black hair cascading down to frame her body-

This is sexy. And he could not disagree.

Jessica laughed, seeing his reaction, and stepped forward, raising a hand to his face.

"You should shut your mouth before you attract flies," she told him, pushing his jaw up until his mouth was closed. And then her hand was cupping his cheek, and he leaned into it, closing his eyes and groaning at the caress of her soft, perfect fingers.

"Feeling lonely?" Jessica asked, and as his eyes opened he wondered when she had closed the rest of the distance between them. Her other hand rose up to lay itself down against his shoulder, and her two perfect breasts pressed against him as she stood close, looking up at him with shining eyes and lips that opened just the slightest bit, enticing, inviting, and then her hand was on the back on his neck, pulling him down to-

"You should be ashamed of yourself!" Louise hissed, before her Levitate pulled Jessica back and toppled Jason, sending him to his knees.

Right. Louise. We love her, we do, but . . . oh, Jessica. A man could drown in that beauty, and she wants me-

"I earned this night," the impossible vision of loveliness reproved. "I earn it every time, but I pass it on to the others. I have the right to have it myself for once."

"Not on Jason!"

"Athena, I rather think that's for your brother to decide. This isn't like a love potion: He still has the freedom to chose what he wants. I'm just showing myself off to my best advantage."

And what advantage it is!

"It's not that simple!" Louise yelled. "That forsaken Bustier gets into your head! It was four days before I could look at Scarron without blushing!"

"Now now, Athena, that's just because Father's handsome. And men think about pretty girls all the time. Isn't that right, Jason?"

He raised his head, and froze again. Jessica was still a shining exemplar of chiaroscuro beauty, and now she was on the floor, leaning towards him, the Bustier framing her pale, perfect-

"You'll be thinking of me tonight, won't you?" she cooed, and he groaned again, shuddering as his body ached to reach out and clasp her to him. Soon their lips would be devouring each other in-

"Jason!" Louise yelled. "STOP ACTING LIKE A DOG IN HEAT!"

There was the sound of a door opening, and Margaux's voice came towards them. "Some of the customers are wondering about the yelling, and . . . oh!"

Louise whirled around. "Go back to the taproom!" she hissed, emphasizing her words with a staccato jab of her wand.

Margaux's eyes were already wide from seeing the scene, but they widened further, and she looked to Jessica with near-panic in her eyes.

"Go, go," the exquisitely gorgeous head faerie agreed. "We'll get this sorted out."

The zaftig faerie nodded faintly, and backed away, slipping through the door to the taproom and quietly closing it.

"You need to calm yourself," Jessica urged, turning to Louise with a placating gesture. "Jason's your brother, not your husband, so if he decides he wants to go courting that's-"

"He's mine, and you WILL NOT steal him from me!"

"But he'll still be your brother. He'll just be spending his nights elsewhere."

Louise squeezed her wand until her knuckles were white. "I-I'll b-blow t-t-this Inn s-straight out of B-b-bruxelles!"

No, she couldn't do that. It'd kill everyone at the Inn. It'd kill Jessica, and he'd never have a chance to taste those lips, to rest his head between those soft-

Louise let out a wordless scream, and when he looked at her she was blinking back what were obviously tears, and it wasn't like he wanted his little mistress to be upset.

"Louise," he started. "It's all right. I'm just-"

"You're just WHAT?!"

"I-" But what was there to say? And it was so hard to think when he just wanted to help Jessica up, and comfort her from being pushed around by his little mistress, and-

"STOP THAT!" Louise howled, and with a smooth casting of Levitate he found himself floating a few inches above the floor. "You can handle the dishes!" Louise snarled venomously in Jessica's direction, before marching off, through the kitchen(and past a couple of faeries who weren't even pretending not to watch it all) and up the stairs, towing Jason behind her.

Once they were inside their bedroom, Louise dropped him onto the bed, then walked over to him, grabbed his left shoulder, and bit down.

He winced and clenched his teeth, determined to wait her out.

She, it seemed, was equally determined to bite until she'd gotten a reaction.

Finally, he gave in. "Little mistress," he started in a pained tone between his teeth.

Louise spat out his shoulder. "Don't you 'little mistress' me!" she snarled. "You want to go right to her bedroom and wait for her, don't you!?"

"I-" But away from Jessica and the Bustier the immediate urgency was lessened. Even if Louise's accusation still sounded like a great idea. But he wasn't in love with Jessica, she was only the most beautiful creature he'd ever . . . no!

"Heaven help me," Jason groaned. "The Bustier really does get into your mind and pull, doesn't it?"

"Are you . . . you're not a dog in heat anymore?"

"I, I can still feel the yearning, but-"

"No! You're not allowed to go to her! She's cheating!" But Louise wasn't screaming any more, and her voice trembled as she started to lose the battle with her tears.

So Jason reached out and pulled her down into his arms. "I can tell she wants to ask me to dance/But that's not as far as she wants to go," he crooned, recalling an old pop country song – from the 20th century, of all things! - that his mother liked, "I need my little mistress/To help me tell her no."

His little mistress slipped her arms around him as she shook, her tears staining his shirt, as he rumbled his way through the chorus, switching out the plea to the angels of heaven for a plea to her to not abandon him.

She was still crying when he finished.

"Louise? Little mistress? I'm not trying to tease you. I truly need you to stay with me, to remind me where I'm supposed to be."

"I know!" she wailed, wiping her eyes, but fresh tears still spilled forth. "I was so furious, but now I can't stop crying!"

"Uh . . . can I do anything? Do you need your things to make a tonic?"

"No!" She buried her head in his chest. "I've been so tired, yesterday and today, and it's been harder than ever to be nice to customers. I know we need to catch de Montferat, but I just want to go back to the Academy! And we have to stay here for another week!"

"I understand," Jason murmured, holding her. And right now we want to be holding Jessica instead, but that's not what we really want! It's just the Bustier! "But we're almost there. Just a little while longer, and her Highness wins against the Council. Isn't that worth it?"

Louise didn't respond.

Finally, in a low mutter: "I don't want to go back down there tonight. And I don't want you to go back, either. She'll just keep talking to you until you're ready to do anything she says."

Jason laughed, despairingly. "I already am, little mistress. I didn't compose the verse I just sang, but I meant it. I can't be alone tonight. If I am, I'll just talk myself into going to her."

The hands on his back suddenly clenched into nails. "Then why don't you, already?" his little mistress hissed.

Jason flinched. "Because I know it's the Bustier, not me. It'll wear off, right?"

"That will take DAYS!" she yelled at him. "By then you'll be mounting her like a dog, breeding a litter of puppies!"

He drew back, breaking their embrace. "That's not fair, and you know it," he retorted. "I'm ignoring the call of the Bustier as much as I can, and part of me is screaming inside at how foolish I'm being, staying here and not going to her. Don't convince me to pay attention to it."

Louise stared at him, then burst into fresh tears and lunged, wrapping her arms around him once more.

He returned the embrace, and looked down at his little mistress and sighed. "This has not been a good day, has it?" he asked, ruefully and rhetorically. "You're off your center, and I can't get my head straight. Let's make an early night of it."

Once they lay down, Jason turned to face hiss little mistress and took her in his arms once again.

She stiffened. "What are you doing?" she demanded suspiciously.

"What do you mean?"

"Last time, with Zerbst-" Louise broke off, flushing.

Jason felt his own cheeks heating up. "Kirche roused my lust indiscriminately. The Bustier's dweomer is more focused that that. I'm holding you because I don't want to lose control, not because I've already lost it."

"Then you won't try to-" She broke off again.

"Not unless you want another excuse to punish me."

Louise didn't reply directly, but she did scoot up a few inches, so that the top of her head was just below his chin. He smiled sadly, then bent down and kissed her soft, green hair, to which she replied by nipping his chest very, very lightly.

They didn't say anything else, and eventually drifted off to sleep.

---

Jason woke up, needing to pee. He'd turned over in the night, and now his back was to Louise, although she was still nestled up against him, arms around his neck. By the look of the sunlight in their tiny room, they'd ended up sleeping all through the night and well into the morning.

He tried to sit up, but she whimpered in her sleep and didn't want to let go.

"C'mon, little mistress," he whispered. "Gotta go pee. As soon as I'm done I'll head right-"

To Jessica's room, came a whisper of inspiration.

He winced. "-back here," he finished after far too long a pause. "Or maybe you should come with me, to play chaperone."

Actually, that's probably the best idea, overall.

"Louise?" he said, louder. "It's time to wake up."

She moaned, not really sounding awake, so he sat up again and this time didn't let her grip restrain him. Once he was mostly upright, his nightshirt slipped out of her grip, and she fell back to the bed. Whereupon she immediately let out a pained cry.

He turned around quickly, to find her curled up, with her back to him.

"Louise? We need to get up."

"I don't want to get up!" she snapped. "Hurts!"

"What hurts?" Jason asked.

"Belly." She curled up even tighter.

"Uh-" That was a dash of cold water. "Do you need to throw up?" Oh, shit! It can't be that, it's impossible, we haven't even been jerking off – but what if we had a wet dream one night, and her chemise rode up and . . . no, no, NO!

"No! Just hurts!"

"O-okay. Let me go get Jessica." He threw on his clothes as quickly as he could, and was out the door before she could object. The toilet could wait.

And he'd just barely knocked on Jessica's bedroom door when he heard Louise's horrified scream.

The door opened seconds later. "What was that?" the head faerie asked, eyes wide, standing there in her chemise. Which was enough to stop him cold, the way the- NO!

He shook himself. "Something's wrong with Athena, I don't know what. Is there a doctor you can send for, or-"

He broke off as his little mistress screamed again. Then: [Jason][help me][Urgent]

"Right," Jessica began walking very rapidly towards Louise's bedroom. "I'll take a look, and we'll send for someone if we need to."

[what is wrong][?]

[bleeding][!][bleeding and i do not know where][!]

She was still curled up when they entered the bedroom, but she'd moved to the side, and that was quite the smear of blood on the mattress where she'd lain previously.

Jessica looked at the blood, then back to Louise, all bent over and whimpering, and shook her head. "That's a pretty heavy flow, especially for someone your size. Is this your first time?"

Louise uncurled just enough to lift her head. "My first time for what?"

"For your monthly. It must be. If you knew it was coming, you'd have made preparations."

"Preparations?" Louise moaned. "I don't need . . . oh, Brimir."

"It's a perfectly natural part of growing up," Jessica held up a hand to conceal her smile. "If rather unpleasant. Is your belly cramping up?"

"YES!"

"So I'll get you some rags, and a pair of culottes to hold them in place, and Jason can carry you to the washroom on the second floor. Then once you're cleaned up, we'll get you a hot pad to hold against your belly." Jessica pursed her lips. "And with that much blood, I think some liver soup would be a good idea."

Louise moaned. "Is this what commoners do every month?"

"Well, that depends on the woman, doesn't it?" The head faerie smiled thinly. "We don't have much magic to help us out, that's for certain."

"Okay, go get all that, and then we'll head off to the washroom," Jason quickly broke in, before his little mistress could bite Jessica's head off.

The head faerie nodded, left, and soon returned with the promised supplies. Then he picked Louise up gently, cradling her to his chest, still all curled up around her belly, and carefully made his way down the stairs to the second floor, finally entering the washroom. "I'll stand guard outside while you clean yourself off, alright?"

Louise tried to uncurl herself, then let out a pained moan and curled right back up. "Can't move! You do it."

". . . What?"

---

Blood was not a turn-on for him. Seeing his mistress in tears brought up all his protective and problem-solving instincts to the fore, but that didn't mean her tears were a turn-on either. And her cries of pain from the cramping throughout the whole process only made him more frantic to help her.

All in all, cleaning Louise up that morning, trying to get all the blood out of her sparse, temporarily-green pubic hair, proved to be the most anti-erotically intimate time of his life to date.

Holding a hungover girlfriend's hair while she threw up was easy compared to this. Biology sucks. Biology really, really, really sucks.

But at least, after finishing and getting her dressed, the borrowed culottes stuffed with plenty of rags to absorb the inevitable renewed flow, finally being able to take a leak – in front of her – just didn't seem that mortifying.

And cleaning her up again after she suddenly realized that she needed to urinate was just more of the same.

---

"Give me my wand!" Louise demanded, once she was back in bed and curled up around the hot pad that Jessica produced after they came back upstairs.

Jason complied, feeling a bit nervous, and got ready to dodge.

But she merely pointed it at the hot pad and cast Warmth several times, before sighing in relief.

"Better?" he asked.

"A little." But it was at least enough to get her to uncurl, even if she continued to hold the hot pad directly against her lower belly.

"Mind if I ask how you handled this at the Academy? You didn't have anything like this happen a month ago."

Louise looked up at him with a glare. "I had a potion, of course. Every two weeks, ever since I was twelve."

"So it . . . takes care of things?" He blinked. "Is that why you don't seem as grown-up? Does the potion slow your-?"

"No!" she snarled. "Every noblewoman takes it. Zerbst takes it!"

"Oh."

"It just means I don't cramp, or bleed, or feel tired and angry all the time-"

Jason very carefully chose not to mention her normal temper.

"-or burst into tears at the least little thing. And now I'm starting to feel hungry, but the thought of bread makes me want to throw up."

"Why don't you see if you can sit up, and try this, instead?" Jessica asked, coming in with a large, steaming bowl. "Bone broth with liver. It doesn't help everyone, but most girls who bleed heavily need something to thicken their blood back up."

Louise took an experimental sniff. Then her eyes widened, and she sat up very quickly. "I don't like liver, much, but that smells . . . Merciful Brimir, that smells wonderful."

The head faerie chuckled. "I'm told it's a little like being pregnant. Your body knows what it needs, even if it's something you usually can't stand to eat. I want fresh meat, barely cooked, when I'm bleeding, but I usually can't get it. Liver is almost good enough as a replacement."

He took the bowl from her and sat down next to Louise, being careful not to spill any. "Are you going to be able to-"

"Jason," Louise growled. "I have a wand. I know Levitate. I don't need help."

"Yes, ma'am."

"You might get help anyway," Jessica commented, looking amused. "Every faerie has different things they do to feel better during their monthly, and by now it's gotten around that this is your first. So get ready for a lot of well-meaning advice."

She looked to Jason. "But you might want to clear out for it. Most men don't care for the bloody details."

"He. Is. Staying." Louise growled.

---

"I always feel dizzy when I'm bleeding." A shrug. "I play it up for the customers, sometimes it brings in better tips . . ."

---

"I'm pretty much stuck in bed for a few days, like you are. That's why you didn't see much of me the week before last . . ."

---

"It's not the cramping or the bleeding, it's the headaches. I always brew up some willowbark tea, it's the only thing I can get that helps, much . . ."

---

"Never been too bad for me. Except I miss my sweetheart." Margaux winked. "When his term is done I'm going to wear him out on my bleeding days. Good thing he's a soldier, so he's had a chance to get used to blood . . ."

---

"I have to wear a special harness, to hold my costume away from my bosom. Otherwise it chafes so awfully . . ."

---

"My temper can be a bit sharp, but as long as I keep everything neat and organized I won't feel like biting everyone's heads off . . .

---

"I can only stand to nibble on bread, I throw up everything else . . ."

---

The anecdotes, at first, weren't particularly awful. Although, admittedly, Jason hadn't ever realized just how varied the symptoms of PMS could be. But then, as Louise's visitors failed to drive him away (not that she was about to let him leave), the tales began to change.

---

"It's the smell. You can't get away from the smell of blood the whole time . . ."

---

". . . and I need to change my rags five or six times a day. Good thing you've got Jason, you can send him to wash them for you instead of having to go do it yourself . . ."

---

"I've always thought that the clots I get look a bit like blackberry preserves . . ."

---

". . . it was as big as my fist! Scared me out of my wits, 'till my mother told me that was normal, how it was for her, too . . ."

---

"If I drink enough water, I bloat to where I can't fit into my costume. If I don't drink enough water, I have these terrible headaches . . ."

---

By the time they were done, the stories ended up blurring into each other, and he was thankfully unable to remember who had shared what horribly intimate detail about how they dealt with or otherwise endured their periods. Louise made him sit through it all, holding her hot pad in place while she ate, and then just holding her, until she was tired enough to nod off, after another trip to the washroom to replace her soiled rags with fresh ones.

Then he had the task of cleaning the soiled rags.

"You're acting like you haven't ever done this before, but the way Athena was clinging to you for comfort, you'd best get used to it," Jessica told him with a smile, when she met him coming out of the washroom. "The first time will likely the worst, at least, since she wasn't ready for it."

"Actually, there's a potion noble ladies take every two weeks, I think with one of their meals, and it makes sure they don't have bad monthlies." Jason shrugged and smiled back. "I didn't even know when hers was supposed to happen, that's how well the potion works. And I don't think she'll ever forget to make sure she has a dose available from now on."

"A potion for monthlies," Jessica repeated, blinking. "I think Siesta dropped a hint or two about that in some of her letters, but she never outright talked about it. If that's something nobles enjoy . . . Athena tested the faeries. Do you know if any of them can learn to brew such potions?"

"Uh, Ima and Roxane both have just enough talent with Water to study all the Water cantrips, even if most of them will take a lot of practice. One of those cantrips is Mix, and it's the basis for making potions. Roxane already said she wanted to learn Mix along with Arise.

"I don't know how hard it is to brew potions in general, or even if all of them can be made with nothing more than Mix and the right recipe. But I'll ask Louise when she wakes up."

"Thank you." Jessica smiled again. "I know Roxane doesn't enjoy working for tips – too close to begging, she says – but if she can brew potions as well as make ice she'll have a place here for as long as we can afford her. Brimir, half the feuds in this place go back to fights when someone was having a bad monthly."

"Huh." Jason tilted his head. "You know, I honestly haven't noticed much animosity between the faeries, aside from the fact that Nicole and Elena can't stand each other."

She blinked. "Hmm. You know, I think we have been behaving ourselves more, since you arrived."

He gave her a level look. "Yesterday was not behaving yourself."

Jessica shrugged. "I've never used the Bustier, except the first time I won the tip race. Why shouldn't I have a turn?"

He suppressed a desire to growl . . . and a stronger one to shut her up by snogging her senseless. "Do you really want to leave the Inn? Because where Athena goes, I will follow."

"Yes, but according to Siesta, the Academy will let out for summer soon. Athena could stay here for the summer, to be close to her friend Ann, and train the faeries in magic. And after that, things might look . . . different. And even if you were determined to stay with Athena, Siesta isn't my only cousin. Someone else might be willing to inherit the Inn."

It was actively painful to continue to meet her gaze, so Jason closed his eyes. "First, as I've said before, a couple of weeks isn't long enough to know someone."

"If you can get Athena to stay for the summer-"

"I'm not about to bring it up with her today. Which is second: Today I need to focus on comforting her as much as I can, so I don't have the thought to spare for this."

"Love isn't something you have to think about," Jessica told him quietly.

He clenched his eyes shut even tighter. "Yes it is. Because that's the third thing: I can't think straight about you as a woman right now. Not after seeing you in the Bustier last night.

"You know I didn't come to the Inn looking for a wife. You know I've been uncomfortable because of Elena's advances, because I don't know how to stay no to her without being cruel, or pry her off me without hurting her. I know you're interested, but it's really hard to separate me, the person, from me, the lucky commoner who's connected to a noblewoman."

"Now that's not fair," she rebutted with quiet intensity. "Open up your eyes and look at me, Jason."

Hesitantly, he complied. Fortunately, she'd adopted a serious expression.

"When you two arrived, we were losing business because of that forsaken teashop. Not enough to threaten the Inn, but enough that Scarron and I have needed to be careful with our revenue. Then, as soon as Athena had to admit that she was a noblewoman, you convinced her to help us out with ice, and chilled drinks, and then ice cream. And then you introduced several dishes we've never heard of-"

Jessica broke off, narrowing her eyes. "And neither had Signor Ampelio. I want to hear the truth of where you came by them, someday."

Jason offered her a pained smile. "That's a rather fantastic story. The kind where you wouldn't believe me unless I had extraordinary proof to offer."

"So it involves magic."

"Oh, yes."

"Then when you're less distracted by Athena, I still want to hear it. But my point is that because of you, our revenues were going up before de Montferat taxed it all away.

"Mother's family has owned this Inn for generations, maybe even as long as the tale of the Bustier claims. Scarron married into the Inn, and from what Mother told me before she passed on, it's because she thought he had a good heart and a sound mind. That's what I want, to be the father of my children.

"It's plain to see that Athena has a girlish crush on you, and doesn't wish to see you leave her and cleave to another. But she must, just as she must someday marry. Will her husband be glad of it, if she clings to you as tightly in that day as she does now?

"Jason, I don't need a noble's money for the Inn to prosper. A hedge-mage for ice, and as I said Roxane has a place here as long as we can afford her, once she learns enough, but that's magic enough for me. The nobles can do as they like. I need a man who will be a good father to my children, and a good husband to me."

He stood there, frozen. Then he started chuckling, tiredly. "Jessica, one of these days I shall have to tell you the story of how I came to be here. Because there're complications you don't know, and I cannot share them at this time. But there is magic in it, and that magic is part of why my future is tangled up with Athena's. I am not as free to marry as I please as it might appear, even if I have earned a place here."

"And if you were free to marry?" she asked, holding him with her gaze. "If you were to untangle yourself?"

Jason drew in a deep breath. Because the future it implied was not one he wished to think on. Except the Bustier-touched part of him did. "When Athena marries, it would not be good for her to so obviously cling to a man who isn't her husband. So that must be resolved, and in the next few years. But I haven't-" He shook his head. "It's up to Athena to untangle me. And until and unless she does, it's foolish for me to seek outside of her influence for . . . anything. As I said, I didn't come to the Inn in search of a wife."

Jessica frown. "And you aren't willing to make that decision for yourself."

"I'm not willing to make any decisions today. The story of Madeline and Raoul is sweet enough, but Raoul was shy, not disinterested. Urging me to make a decision when the memory of you in that damn Bustier is still pulling at me isn't fair. Not to me, not to you."

"What's wrong with me?" she demanded. "You think I'm pretty, even without the Bustier, we've gotten along well, I like your sense of humor-"

"I just said I wasn't making any decisions today!" Jason growled. "And especially not until my head clears!" He took a deep breath, then continued in a calmer tone. "Which Athena said took about four days for her, regarding Scarron."

"So in four days-"

"When Athena's feeling better, go talk to her. And I'm not taking your side. Or Elena's. Or anyone's. I said my situation is complicated. I'm not pledging myself to anyone, and I'm not taking pledges from anyone, until the complications are resolved."

"Then what should I talk to her about?" Jessica demanded. "Without your support-"

"You want to have me around for the summer? Then sell Athena on the idea." Jason paused. "Or not. And are you sure you want someone who clearly isn't very biddable for a husband?"

She smirked. "Are you saying you wouldn't be just as stubbornly loyal a husband as you are an older brother? I don't think I'd believe that."

He groaned. "Enough! No more today, Jessica. Leave me in peace."

So saying, he stepped around her towards Louise's room, and she let him.

This time, there was a notable odor of blood in the room when he entered. And there was his little mistress, looking up at him crossly as she sat hunched over on the bed. "What took you so long?" she asked, after casting Warmth a few more times on her heating pad.

"Jessica stopped me to . . . well, we were talking about potions at first. You can probably imagine, she wouldn't mind at all if Roxane eventually learned to brew up the potion you take to ease your cycle. And then it turned into 'why don't you love me?'"

"And?" Louise demanded with narrowed eyes.

"And nothing." He sat down next to her, and put his arm around stiff, angry shoulders. "It's a bit like choosing to study over playing games, back at the university, even if I have regretful thoughts. And you've seen my phone. We use something quite similar for games, only the screens are several feet across."

She closed her eyes. "I can't even imagine how that makes sense," she said in a pained voice. "Trying to think too hard makes my head hurt."

"Should I see about having some willowbark tea brewed for you?"

His little mistress nodded. "And if I feel better, tomorrow I'll brew some tonics and salves, if I can remember the recipes we went over in First Form."

"Yeah. Or maybe you should just send a message to 'Ann', and ask her for a proper potion?"

Louise looked thoughtful, made as if to stand up, then flinched and curled back up again. [hurts too much to get out of bed]

"Right. We'll see how you feel tomorrow."

"Well, I'm not just going to spend my time moaning in bed," she declared, brandishing her wand. "If this isn't motivation to finish learning Freshen and Scour, so I can clean myself up and air this nasty room out, nothing is!"

Jason smiled and bent down to kiss the top of her head.

"Don't do that!" she said sharply. "I feel dirty all over, you don't need my filth on you!"

"You may be a dirty little mistress," Jason murmured, kissing her again and pulling her in to lean on him, "but you're my dirty little mistress. Don't plan on getting rid of me."

"I'm not!" Louise snapped, but as he straightened up he could see the smile that she was failing to suppress.

---

He spent little time in the taproom over the next couple of days, mostly when Scarron needed a hand or to take a quick break. For the most part, he stayed with Louise, changing her rags, playing gopher for her brewing, helping her to the washroom to clean up, and helping her downstairs to make ice (which she still insisted on doing) and give lessons to the five faeries with enough magic to benefit from them.

After one such lesson, as Jason picked Louise up to carry her back upstairs, Eugina asked, "Will you be down for luncheon, Miss Athena? I mean, if you're feeling well enough?"

Jason blinked. Has it really been eight days . . . yes, it has. Today's the local holy day.

Louise rubbed eyes that had grown dull with pain. "I might," she replied. "If the cramps aren't so bad. But after I make ice for everything, I need to go take a nap, first."

---

There was a quiet knock on the door, just as Louise had nodded off. Jason went to open it with a scowl on his face.

"What's wrong?" Jessica asked, looking up at his expression and stepping back.

"You tell me," he said quietly, stepping forward and carefully closing the door behind him. "But Athena's finally managed to fall asleep, and I'm not letting anyone wake her up."

"That's unfortunate," the head faerie replied. "Ann's messenger is back, and she's expecting Athena."

"Uh . . . aw, shit!" Jason shook his head. "We'd completely forgotten about contacting her. Athena hasn't felt well enough to leave the Inn, at any rate."

"Then you'd better go talk to her."

"Right, right."

So down he went, to see Agnes looking around in interest at the faeries who were still practicing their cantrips. "So many potential hedge-mages in one location. Interesting."

"'S not a crime to learn!" Ima cried defiantly. "I asked Athena myself, an' she said 'twas fine!"

"If I had magic enough, I imagine I'd join in," the tall blonde bodyguard replied drily. "But my family was quite thoroughly Protestant, so Brimir hasn't seen fit to awaken anything that might sleep in my blood." She turned to Jason. "Is Athena awake?"

He shook his head. "I'm afraid not. Her monthly came on without warning, and has been, uh, rather debilitating."

"Not entirely without warning," Eugina contradicted. "She'd been short with customers for a day or two beforehand, but I guess she didn't know her warning signs."

"I understand there's a potion?" Jason asked. "Something that keeps a monthly from being a problem?"

"Lunar Respite," Agnes nodded. "Or at least that's the recipe for the potion Ann uses. She's kind enough to ensure that I have a supply for my own use, and I have no doubt that she'll insist I deliver one to Athena tomorrow morning."

"That's good," Jason smiled, relieved.

"Is the potion a hard one to make?" Roxane asked. "I want to learn Mix as well as Arise, you see, and that's a potion I know I'll be able to sell, if I can brew it."

The others faeries, having all found out about the existence of period-relieving potions within a day, nodded emphatically.

"That, I don't know," Agnes admitted. "But I'll see if I can lay hold of a recipe that a hedge-mage can use, and bring it with me tomorrow."

---

"Athena, how are you feeling?" Jessica asked, when Jason escorted Louise down for 'Sunday' dinner.

"A little better. I've made some tonics, and I'm taking them, but I wish I would stop bleeding."

"Hopefully, it won't last more than a day or two longer. Are you tired of bone broth and liver?"

Louise shook her head, then winced and held her heating pad a little more closely. "Not yet. I never imagined I'd like it so much, but I do."

"That's as likely as not to change back once you're done bleeding," Margaux told her with a laugh. "I'd say it'll come back next month, but everyone's heard what Jason asked for."

"What?" Louise looked up to Jason. "What did you-?"

"Agnes came by, but by then you'd fallen asleep and I wasn't willing to wake you up," he told her. "She says she'll be back tomorrow with a potion from Ann, so just one more night and you should be fine." [so we will need to tell her we need to meet Henrietta in two days][,][and explain our plan for the day after that]

She nodded. [i understand]

Then he looked around at the table, filled with faintly envious faces. "And she said she'd try to find a recipe that Roxane can learn. Come on, ladies, that part had to have spread as much as the other."

"Yes, but we won't get the potions until Roxane learns Mix, correct?" Jessica asked. "So we'll have to wait a while longer."

"I promise, I'm working just as hard on Mix as I am on Arise," the redhead put in. "I'll get them both, in time."

"True enough," the head faerie allowed. "But for now, let's have luncheon!"

---

"You two always disappear up to your room after dinner," Felicia complained, as Jason came back from clearing away the plates to help Louise stand up. "Why not stay in the taproom for once?"

"Uh, because Athena isn't really up for it?" he pointed out.

"That doesn't mean you have to stay up there!"

"Yeah, but-" Yes, Jessica had mostly backed off, and he was starting to regain his equilibrium, but that didn't mean it was a good idea to be the only man, save Scarron-

"I shall make an early night of it, mes fées," that worthy said with a wink, before walking off.

Okay. It's definitely not a good idea to be the only man around thirteen rather attractive women. "Sorry, but I don't want to be absent if Athena needs me."

"It's fine," Louise grumbled. "I'm just going to practice Freshen until the room stops smelling like blood, and you shouldn't have to be stuck smelling it along with me."

He waited until they were up the stairs. "Are you sure about that? Not saying I like the smell of blood, but I'd honestly rather stick with you than go back down there."

She looked up at him with tired eyes. "Jason, you've been gentle, and considerate, and as attentive as anyone could ask for, and half the time I still want to take my wand and explode you out the window and all the way to the palace. Once I get my rags changed so I can practice Scour again, I want some privacy so I can snarl without having to worry about how you'll take it."

His eyes widened a bit at her declaration. "Alright, then. And I'll try to keep them from eating me alive."

Louise rolled her eyes. "You're bigger than any three of them put together. If it becomes a problem, just come back up here. It's not like they'll be able to stop you."

---

"We were starting to wonder if you weren't going to come back down," Margaux said with a smile, handing Jason a glass filled from the bowl of punch that had already been set up.

He tasted it, yep, alcoholic as always, better drink sparingly, and smiled back. "Had to make sure Athena was set up."

Then he looked around at the crowd. "So, me bonny lasses, ye've found yerselves a pirate fer the evenin'! How be we celebratin' this past week?"

The faeries giggled, or in a few cases laughed outright. "Well, some of our stories may be too much for a man's delicate sensibilities," Jessica said with a broad smile. "So do you have any interesting stories you'd like to share?"

"Do I?" Jason blinked, and took another sip of his punch. The slight warmth going down his throat seemed to bring inspiration with it. "How about," he went on in his normal voice, "since you're all faeries, I share some fairy tales that you might not have heard before?" Bloody well sure you haven't heard them, since Jessica's grandad would be telling stories about oni, youkai, kitsune, and tsukumogami.

"That sounds like an interesting start to the evening," Nicole observed. After a moment, the other faeries began offering their consent as well, so Jason sat down and began:

"Once upon a time, there was a boy named Jack, who lived with his mother and the cow they depended on for milk. One day, the cow dried up, and . . ."

---

After Jack and the Beanstalk, Jason told them the story of Rumpelstiltskin, then Goldilocks and the Three Bears, and after that came Puss in Boots.

"No wonder the King accepted his claim!" was Liliane's comment after that one. "If he had a talking cat as a familiar, he was obviously a noble from somewhere in his family tree."

The Cobbler and the Elves (er, Brownies, calling them elves caused a bit of unsettlement at first) was next, followed by The Emperor's New Clothes, then Sleeping Beauty and finally Cinderella.

"I don't think I've heard any of those," Safira said after he'd finished Cinderella, and drained the last of his punch to keep his throat wet. "But I'm getting tired of just sitting and listening. Why don't we do some dances? Jason's here, so we'll have a chance at a proper partner this week!"

This was met with cheers, but he shook his head. "No, that's a bad idea. I don't crash into things 'cause I move slowly most of the time. You can't do that with dancing, and trust me, girls, you don't want someone my size stepping on your feet!"

"If that's a problem," Nicole said, coming up from behind him and offering a new and full glass, "drink this first. It'll help you loosen up."

The punch in the new glass was ice-cold – clearly someone had decided to take advantage of Louise's ice – and the first sip revealed that it had been sweetened and spiced.

Well, if we are going to dance, we'd better be as calm as possible, Jason thought, so he tilted the glass back and drank it all in one long swallow, bringing a flush to his cheeks as warmth seemed to explode through his body. The faeries applauded and laughed, and then Liliane pulled him out to the middle of the taproom.

"I was trained as a child in the classic dances," she murmured as she showed him how to stand, and where his hands went. "So follow my lead, and I promise I won't step on your feet if I can help it."

As they began, three of the other faeries started singing a slow ballad, which was well-suited to the pace of the dance and clearly chosen for that purpose.

Perhaps it was that he'd not had decent instruction back in America, and perhaps it was that the tall plumlock was quite well-trained – and a good teacher besides – or perhaps it was that the wine he'd imbibed had loosened him up. Whatever the reason, Jason found himself having fun in short order, and managed to avoid stepping on her toes entirely.

Kinda wish Louise were down here, he thought as Elena claimed his hand next. Yeah, might look silly, us being more than a foot taller than her. But it'd be nice to be able to dance, and hold each other in public.

Another glass of punch was handed to him after he'd finished with Elena, and he wasn't sure if it was the feeling of warmth that it brought or the chance to dance with Jessica next that made him grin at her. Okay, maybe we're not quite over the effects of the Bustier. And maybe we need to start counting how many glasses of punch we're having. 's like a glass and a half of wine so far.

But the thought was a relatively vague one, and the faeries didn't want to give him any time to sit down, so replacement fluid for what he was starting to sweat out was undeniably vital. The total number of glasses he'd had grew a bit wavery as each faerie claimed their dances with him in turn, until finally Jason stumbled, almost sending Therese, his current partner, tumbling.

He let go of her and straightened up, and the room seemed to spin. "Think I've had enough," he said, thickly. "Feel dizzy."

"I think you might be right," someone responded. Was it Jessica? "Can you make it up the stairs?"

"I'll help him," another voice offered. He couldn't quite say who, though. "I'm about ready to retire myself for the night."

And he needed help, there was no denying it. Getting to the stairs wasn't too much trouble, but slender, steadying arms kept him from stumbling and maybe falling more than once before he made it up both flights of stairs to the third floor where the faeries stayed. And by then it was getting even harder to tell where he was going, so he didn't shake off those helpful arms as they guided him to the bedroom door.

"'ank y'," he told the faerie earnestly, as he tried to find the handle to open the door. "Coudn't h' dn 't-"

"Here, let me," a distant voice said, and smooth fingers trailed down his arm like cool lightning. He turned towards the faerie in shock, to meet large, beautiful eyes, so close to his own, above lips that begged to be-

"Jason?" that voice asked, but he could barely hear it over the sudden roaring in his ears, and then a soft hand was on his cheek, and warm lips suddenly pressed against his own, and-

---

A/N:

Magic Items: Ear trumpet – hearing aids that date back from the 1600s. Presumably the dweomer of an ennobled ear trumpet is of Air.

Lunar Respite – the name of the recipe for a potion that, taken bi-monthly, negates PMS.

Aniseed potion – technically unnamed, does something with aniseed so that dogs completely ignore you. As illegal as a Ring of Free Action would be.