Stoick had the village mobilized before it became apparent who exactly was coming for a visit. Hearths were lit in the Mead Hall, meat and alcohol brought from the storage rooms, people instructed to keep their valuables under lock and key. The common folk was happy – the arrival of Bog Burglars promised a feast, tales of heroic feats and lots of friendly competitions. It would be a big, loud warm-up before the upcoming Winter Holiday.
The real uproar rose the moment the ship appeared on the horizon. A sailing vessel with two square-rigged masts, definitely not propelled by traders or tourists. As it neared itself to the harbor, it became apparent that it was indeed the Sparrowhawk – a part of the Bog Burglar fleet. Just as Hiccup had claimed.
The chief and his family came to the docks to greet the guests, looking as presentable as the time allowed. Armors wiped clean, hair comber and re-braided, heads held high. Dragons were instructed to keep the distance, so not to intimidate the Bog Burglars.
Valka was slightly nervous. It's been ages since she last had to fulfill a representative role beside her husband. Back before she was taken by Cloudjumper, her job was mostly to look good and keep her mouth shut while Stoick handled everything. This time she would be expected to take on a more active approach.
"Bloodybee and her crew will be all over you," Stoick warned her. "Like a swarm of bees, really. They will be asking inappropriate questions, making inappropriate jokes, and gods only know what else. If they ask you about the dragons – and I'm sure they will – be very selective about what you tell them. We don't want all of our secrets out just yet."
"Of course," nodded Valka, doing her best to keep her anxiety in check. A whole flock of curious dragons she could manage just fine. She's had young hatchling nib at her hair, lick wax from her ears and startle her when she satisfied her physiological needs. Surely a crew of Bog Burglars couldn't be more nosy than this?
"Outta my way!" yelled Snotlout, violently showing Hiccup aside. The bigger boy rushed to the front, his gaze on the approaching ship. He was wearing all of his medals and his most excited expression. He was immediately joined by his father, who looked just as excited and even more festive. Ceremonial belt, scabbard of exquisite workmanship, even his best cape – which he hardly ever wore, as it got in the way.
"Oh, nice outfits there, guys," commented Hiccup sarcastically. "One could think you were the chief and the heir of this tribe."
"I know, right?" exclaimed Snotlout joyfully. "These Bogs will be gathering their jaws from the floor! Just watch!"
The boy spat into his hands and wiped his face with them. Hiccup rolled his eyes.
"Careful not to overdo it, Spitelout," Stoick teased his stepbrother. "Bloodybee just might think you care about her."
Spitelout waved his hand dismissively. "Neh, Bibi couldn't care less what I look like. She's still going to make a show out of praising me in front of her crew. The thing is, if I don't look my best, well, those girls just might think their Captain is swept off her feet just like that," he snapped his fingers for emphasis. "It would be a shame if her reputation suffered just because she's SO into me, you know," he grinned, full of himself.
"Oh," Stoick grinned back. "So you DO care about her."
The remark did little to deprive the younger man of his confident smirk. "The way I see it, Stoick, a woman who churns out such strapping heirs deserves SOME consideration," he said, petting his son's shoulder. "Wouldn't you agree?"
"Oh, but of course," said Stoick. "But a woman, mind you, who churns out such one of a kind heirs…" he playfully ruffed the hair on top of Hiccup's head, "…deserves a ballad be composed to praise her achievements," he regarded his wife with affection. "How would you like that, Val?"
Valka forced a smile. It irked her to have herself and her child objectified like this. Judging from the discomfort on Hiccup's face, he shared the sentiment. Still, there was no helping it. It was quite obvious Stoick had meant to express how proud he was of his family, and didn't realize said family could be hurt by his words. He'd probably be bewildered if she told him he'd just implied that giving birth to Hiccup was her biggest achievement. Now, the idea was funny indeed.
Meanwhile Spitelout and Snotlout were exchanging meaningful gazes and regarding Hiccup with smirks of superiority. "'One of a kind' describes Hiccup perfectly," said Spitelout, and his tone left no doubt that he interpreted 'one of a kind' as 'weird' and 'not a proper Viking'. Hiccup and Valka responded in bitter grimaces, but Stoick remained perfectly oblivious to the tension. Maybe because his attention drifted to the ship, which was coming to a halt just outside the harbor.
Now that the Sparrowhawk was practically at the threshold of Berk, it was time for contact to be made. From the ship a figure emerged, standing confidently on the edge of the board. A short, pleasingly plump woman with noticeable breasts and wide hips. Her hair was jet black, ragged on the sides, with longer streaks on the top. She wore a protector on her right arm, ending in three steel claws on top of her right hand. With her left hand she saluted Stoick, smiling slyly.
"Chief of Berk!" she exclaimed. "Captain Bloodybee the Steelsting of the Sparrowhawk requests permission to dock!"
"How many in your crew, Captain?" Stoick called to her loudly.
"25, including myself!"
"How long do you intend on staying?"
"Until Snoggletog, Sir!"
"Purpose of visit?"
"To have some fun, Sir! Oh, and to verify the rumors concerning your dragons and all, but that would be our side-quest," the captain added almost like an afterthought, waving her hand dismissively. "Big-Boobied Bertha sees no need for drastic measures"
"Observe all you want, Captain," said Stoick encouragingly. "Here, on Berk, we've got nothing to hide. Your chief may come and see it for herself, if she cannot wait till the next Thing."
"I'll be sure to tell her that, Sir."
"Splendid!" the chief clapped his hands. "You may dock your ship now! And greet your family."
"Right away!" Bloodybee turned to her crew. "Girls, let's dock this baby!"
A couple of burly women positioned themselves at the side of the ship, facing its inside. Another group of women – captain included – took a take-off run and soared into the air, bouncing from the supporting palms of their comrades. They landed gracefully on the dock and immediately begun to pull the lines they had been holding – thus pulling the ship closer. The Sparrowhawk was safely docked mere moments later.
As her crew secured the footbridge, the captain headed towards the Berkian authorities. Spitelout stepped forwards to meet her, holding out his left hand and removing his helmet with his right. The two of them beamed as they exchanged a handshake. It quickly evolved from the one in which you embrace your partner's whole hand to the one in which you embrace the partner's thumb. Then they bumped their fists and rose them to their mouth, as if pretending to drink from imaginary cups. Finally they embraced each other tightly.
"Nice to see you, saucy wench," Spitelout whispered affectionately.
"Likewise, sweet scamp," replied the woman, just as affectionately.
The other Bog Burglars snickered at the scene.
"Could it be?" teased one of the women. "The bloodthirsty Bloodybee…"
"…melting like bee wax in the arms of her hot stud," finished another woman, leaning against her predecessor. The comment earned quite a laughter from the crew. It seemed they had no qualms about making fun of their superior. Judging from said superior's confident smirk, she didn't mind at all.
"Oh, 'hot stud' doesn't even begin to describe him," Bloodybee grinned at her crew. "He's the second most important man on this island!" she exclaimed proudly. "You want to beat that, you'd have to milk the chief himself!"
"I beg your pardon!" revolted Stoick.
"What?" the woman shrugged her shoulders. "I'm acknowledging your status. That's a complement!"
Stoick might have expressed some more annoyance, but he was disturbed by his brother's joyful cry.
"Avalanche!"
A girl, almost as wide as she was tall, bounced down the footboard. She had a wild mess of jet black hair, a nose pretty much like that of a pig, and small, narrow eyes, that sparkled with evil intentions. She rushed towards her father, who knelt to embrace her. However, before his arms could close around her, she leapt, bounced from his shoulders, and landed behind him. "Hah!" she cried, showing off Spitelout's helmet in one hand and a sack in the other. The Bog Burglars cheered and the girl bowed, ravishing the attention. Spitelout got back to his feet, regarding his daughter with a mixture of pride and cunningness.
"Nice nicking, Avalanche. You've just become the first Bog Burglar to have stolen dragon dung ever," he told her with mock praise. The smile on the girl's face vanished as she untied the sack.
"Yuck!" she cried, immediately throwing the sack into the sea. The crowd laughed. Avalanche was confused for a moment, before growing red with shame and anger. She considered her father with a particularly strong grudge, but before she could voice it, her mother pat her strongly on the back, throwing her off balance.
"Hah! He's got you there, snowflake!" exclaimed Bloodybee, seemingly amused with her daughter's misfortune, using the chance to retrieve Spitelout's helmet and toss it back to him. Avalanche grimaced in indignation, but the captain was already moving over to her other child – who was puffing out his chest in anticipation of her praise. He wasn't disappointed.
"Now, Snotlout, is this a new medal I see on you, son?" remarked Bloodybee, much to the boy's delight.
"So you've noticed? It's from the latest Thawfest!" Snotlout beamed. "You should have been there, Mom! I totally crushed the competition! As always!"
"Actually," remarked Hiccup, "Astrid beat you in axe throwing."
Snotlout glared at him in indignation. "How would you know that, Hiccup? You fell flat on your face while trying to throw yours!"
The crowd snorted at the remark. Avalanche exploded with particularly obnoxious laughter, as if her brother had cracked the best joke ever. Spitelout and Bloodybee were patting their son's shoulders and swelling with pride, which he hungrily absorbed. It seemed that the whole black haired and blue eyed family considered insolence a desirable trait.
Valka had mixed feelings. Competiveness and a crude sense of humor were a part of their culture, but her motherly instincts told her she should defend her child somehow. She looked at Stoick. He mouthed 'Don't'. She looked at Hiccup. The boy did frown at Spitelout's family, but quickly cleared the hurt from his face, displaying a mock-grin.
"Laugh while you still can, Snotlout. The next Thawfest Games are going to include dragons, and dragons are MY specialty," he pointed himself, puffing out his chest. "So, auntie," he turned to Bloodybee, "by all means, do come along. Once Toothless and I are through with him, Snotlout's going to need a shoulder to cry on."
Stoick smiled widely, proud to see his son stand up for himself. Spitelout and Snotlout frowned. Bloodybee giggled in amusement.
"Well, well, well. Somebody's finally grown a pair," she regarded her 'nephew' with fondness "Good. If you want to lead a tribe, kiddo, you better grow big, hairy balls," she clenched her fist and swung it down with each word for emphasis, finishing with a harsh punch to Hiccup's chest. The boy would have tripped if his mother hadn't caught him.
Avalanche snickered at this. "One thing that's big about him is his mouth, if you ask me."
"I beg your pardon!" revolted Hiccup, breaking out of Valka's embrace. His reaction seemed to have pleased the girl.
"Why?" she teased. "You just said you expect your dragon to win your battles for you. That's cowardice. And stupidity. Even I know it's warriors who win battles, not their swords."
Valka felt she should correct the beliefs displayed by this child. If she compared dragons to weapons, she obviously was in need of education. Surprisingly, the girl's mother seemed to be of the same opinion.
"I wouldn't quite agree with you, Avalanche," she told her daughter. "Seems to me dragons are more like ships than swords."
That got Valka curious. Perhaps she has written Bloodybee's emotional intelligence off too soon?
Avalanche raised her brows. "Like ships?"
"Yeah," nodded Bloodybee. "Think about it. A ship can carry you across the sea, but it can also take you under the sea. You need to know how to steer it, how to maintain it, you need to be able to navigate and constantly monitor the weather. Once you leave the mainland you risk facing storms, currents, icebergs, all sorts of dangers. It takes knowledge, strength, and humility to survive at the sea."
With this explanation, Valka's faith in Bloodybee's parenting skills was restored. The Bog Burglar had as much tact and sensitivity as an average Viking warrior, but good will and reason were also there. Which augured well for the future.
While Valka was relieved, Avalanche was confused. "But Mom, how can you be strong and humble at the same time?" she asked.
Bloodybee smiled fondly at her daughter. "That's precisely the point, Ava. It's not that easy. That's why you need to serve on someone else's ship before you can get one of your own," she ruffled the girl's hair playfully. "Anyway, I think dragons are like ships. You can ride them, but you need to be careful not to fall. They can fight for you, but they can also hurt you. Thus, dragon riding is a serious business and not a child's play," the woman moved her sight onto her nephew. "Right, Hiccup?"
"Well, not exactly," said the boy, obviously pleased to be recognized as an expert on dragons. "Dragons are not like swords, or ships. They are intelligent, gentle creatures, with their own, unique personality. It may be hard to earn a dragon's trust, but once you do, you will have gained a friend for life. This is what Toothless is to me – my best friend."
It was Valka's turn to swell with pride. Her boy advocated their case with such passion, with such an enthusiasm. His eyes lit up and his voice became animated when dragons were involved. Even if his addressees couldn't quite grasp the ideas he was trying to implement in their heads, his every word and gesture was loaded with confidence and faith. It was a real pleasure to see him like this.
Perhaps giving birth to him was her greatest achievement after all.
Noticing that Bloodybee and Avalanche are not quite sure what to make of this, Valka decided it may be a good moment to take on her role as the hostess.
"We could show you how much our village benefited since we've made peace with dragons. If the chief would allow it," she added, remembering Stoick's warnings. However, the chief didn't seem to mind her plan.
"You are the Berk's Dragon Master, Valka. You have my authorization to act as you see fit in all matters relating to dragons," he told her.
Valka smiled. It felt good to have her husband's trust. "Thank you, Stoick."
When her attention moved back on the guests, she could see that they were intrigued.
"Oh," said Bloodybee, her curiosity evolving into amusement. "So YOU are that infamous dragon whisperer?"
Valka didn't like this kind of reaction. She felt as if the Bog Burglar has had a clear idea of what a dragon whisperer should be like, and the real thing turned out to be completely different than the expectation. The chief's wife supposed she should feel offended, but decided to give the captain a credit of doubt. Until now they've only known each other through other people's testimony. Misconceptions were unavoidable. It was for the best if they tried to get along. Perhaps they could become friends.
With this hope in heart, Valka introduced herself, offering Bloodybee her hand to shake. Only then did it occur to her that she might have made a slip already. She had automatically offered her right hand, and the other woman has so far only used her left. The thing with metal spikes she wore must have been a prosthetic.
Valka considered retracting her hand, but Bloodybee was already removing the claws – with no indication of discomfort whatsoever. Beneath the clawed attachment was a leather protector – which covered most of her forearm – with a metal housing at the base of her hand. A hand that had one whole finger – the thumb. The others were reduced to stumps, ending more or less at the level of the first joint. This very hand she vigorously shoved into Valka's and clenched as much as the disability allowed her. And smiled broadly as she did.
Relieved that to see she hadn't hurt her guest after all, Valka thanked the Bog Burglar for nursing Hiccup.
"Oh, don't mention that," Bloodybee waved her crippled hand dismissively. "The wee thing hardly ate anything. Not like my greedy piglet here. He never knew when to stop," she snickered. "Takes after me."
"He does," confirmed Spitelout, smiling in a meaningful way.
"So you really are the dragon whisperer?" squeaked Avalanche excitedly, shoving herself between her mother and Valka. "And you really did ditch your husband to live with dragons?"
"Watch your tongue!" bellowed Stoick. "It's my wife you're talking to!"
"It's okay, Stoick," Valka hurried to calm her husband down. "She's not that far away from truth," her attention went back to the girl. "I did NOT ditch my family. Not really," she explained. She had meant it as an introduction to a longer story, the one she's already told her family and community, but she suddenly lost the drive. She didn't have to explain herself to a little girl. "It's complicated," she said finally, deeming it an explanation enough.
"That's great!" exclaimed Bloodybee. "You've still got enough time before the feast to get it all organized in your head! We'd love to hear it all over some good meat and mead!"
Valka's eyes widened. This didn't sound good.
"Until then, sister,," the captain poked the chief's wife on the shoulder, staring at her intensively, "you're gonna be a good hostess and lead us to the sauna!"
Valka's eyes widened even more. "Sauna?" she muttered, bewildered.
"Sure!" exclaimed Bloodybee. "We've been in the sea for so long, we gotta wash the stench away!" she moved closer and put her arm around the shocked Valka, turning to an equally shocked Stoick. "Rest assured, chief, we've brought wares to trade for your hospitality. You may examine them while we get to know your wife," she pulled Valka even closer, smiling widely, much to the horror of both the dragon whisperer and her husband.
"That's enough!" ordered Stoick, removing the captain's hand from his wife, who wasted no time to put safe distance between herself and the Bog Burglar. "You and your girls better behave yourselves. Valka hasn't had much to do with humans in the last couple of years, and I won't let you harass her."
Bloodybee seemed amused. "Oh, nobody here means her any harm, chief," she assured. "On the contrary, we would be happy to help her…" she made a meaningful pause, "…fill in the gaps in her experience."
"This is precisely what I'm worried about," said Stoick sternly.
The captain's eyes sparkled with malice. Valka couldn't help but flinch. Her intuition told her that going into the sauna with a whole crew of Bog Burglars was a very, very bad idea. But then, she also acknowledged that Bloodybee made a valid point. As the chief's wife, she was supposed to take care of the guests. And prove to her own community that she could manage. That she wasn't entirely reverted to wilderness, like some of the Berkians claimed. She had to show she cared enough to try and fit in.
So, although she was likely to regret it quite soon, Valka touched her husband's shoulder reassuringly. "It's okay, Stoick. I can handle this."
He didn't seem entirely convinced. "You sure?"
"Yes," she nodded. "I will be fine. Trust me."
She could see he would have preferred to keep her out of harm's way, and she was glad she could trust him to protect her. Still, what she needed now was encouragements, not protection. Stoick acknowledged that.
"Fine," he said. Then lowered his head and added in a whisper: "Though you might want to ask Decay to watch over your clothes while you're in there. The Bogs just might decide you don't need all these spikes in your protectors."
Valka did her best to crack a smile. Perhaps it wasn't too late to have Cloudjumper snatch her from the ground and go someplace far away, where she knew what to expect. Humans could be terrifying.