When the grown women were barely beginning to relax, Avalanche was leaving the sauna in search of cooler air. It was with great relief that she poured a bucket of cold water over her steaming body and emptied the cup offered to her by the servant. How do the adults endure all that heat, how they find pleasure in this torture chamber, she had no idea.

Seeing the girl get dressed, the servant offered to keep her company until the rest of the crew were done. Avalanche bluntly told her that she had no intention of waiting for her mother – who would probably need a couple sessions of cooling and heating to get satisfied – and very much preferred to go out and have some fun. That got the servant seriously worried.

"Child, will you be alright?" she asked, full of concern. Avalanche rolled her eyes.

"I'm not a child, I'm almost eleven," she said, impatiently. "I can gut sheep, skin boars, pick locks, catch fish with a spear, and when I throw a stone, it always lands right where I want it to. And you dare suggest I could get lost on the way to my father's house, in a village I've been to a dozen times before?"

That successfully shot the woman's trap. And rightfully so. You can't keep a Bog Burglar in a closed space when so many interesting things are waiting for her on the outside.

Dragons. The unpredictable, ferocious, fire-breathing monsters from the stories she's heard so many times. Dragons are powerful, so the warriors said, you lose your focus and you may lose your head. Even now, a good two months since the supposed integration of dragons into the Hairy Hooligan tribe, the old convictions were strong in the Bog Burglars. Avalanche herself was reluctant to believe something so big and strong could be controlled by humans. And by what humans – Hiccup – the most pathetic excuse of a Viking ever – despite what Camicazi says – and Snotlout – Avalanche's brother, who thinks the sun raises and sets on his ass, but is in fact dumber even than an average boy. These two fools are supposedly riding a Night Fury and a Monstrous Nightmare respectively. Seriously, this is madness.

Still, if said madness is reality, then Avalanche was determined to witness it with her own eyes. This was sure to provide her some entertainment, if nothing else.

Once out of the Mead Hall, the girl took a moment to examine the surroundings. She did notice some new constructs – perches for dragons, if she was to judge by the occupants. A couple of them were resting on rooftops, a few more circling in the sky. The people carried on with their daily tasks, showing no signs of stress of the presence of the giant reptiles. Some children even seemed to be playing with a Gronckle. Unbelievable. But how cool.

Suddenly Avalanche's eyes spotted the real extraordinary thing – her brother Snotlout and cousin Hiccup – riding their dragons in what appeared to be a race above the village. Seemingly heading towards the old dragon killing arena.

Avalanche hopped down the stairs vigorously. If she hurries, she just might catch up with the two idiots. With a little bit of luck she could be riding a dragon before her mother leaves the sauna.

(…)

After a series of barrel rolls and somersaults in the air, accompanied by mad screams, Snotlout directed Hookfang towards the Dragon Academy. Hiccup and Toothless were already heading that way, in a boring, straight fashion. The chief's son rolled his eyes at the bulkier boy, all to Snotlout's pride and joy. Hiccup might have had a Night Fury, but he didn't have the guts to use its full potential. At this rate, the dragon games designed for the upcoming Thawfest will go down in history as Hiccup's most epic fail. Yeah, their mothers have to see this. Totally.

Happy beyond reason, Snotlout landed. His and Hiccup's fathers have been watching them, which added to his joy. Nothing like a little quality crowd to witness the sheer wonder he is.

"Woohooo! Way to go, Hookfang!" the boy pat his dragon excitedly. "Keep it up! We're gonna give those Bogs a show they'll never forget!"

Snotlout's father was immediately by his side, beaming with pride. "Right on, son! Soon all of Bog Isles will hear of Snotlout Jorgenson, master of Monstrous Nightmares! And when they do, they'll tremble!"

"Yeah!" yelled Snotlout, thrilled at the idea. It meant the world to him to know his father was proud of him, but to revoke a similar kind of reaction from his mother was absolutely priceless. The opportunity was just too good to waste.

The two Jorgensons' daydreaming was brutally interrupted by Hiccup.

"Guys, you get it all wrong!" protested the chief's son. "We don't want them to tremble, we want them to be on our side!"

Snotlout sneered at the thinner boy. "Speak for yourself, Hiccup. I want them to hear my name and tremble, ugh ugh!"

Hiccup rolled his eyes. "I hate to break it to you, Snotlout, but it's not about you. It's about all of us. As dragon trainers, it is our responsibility to improve the reputation and life quality of all dragons, not just here on Berk, but wherever we only can. The last thing we want is to have our allies get the impression we're making a dragon army."

Spitelout coughed and covered his mouth to stifle a laugh. "But we ARE making a dragon army," Spitelout told Hiccup mildly. "Or have you forgotten about Drago Bludvist?"

"No, of course not," replied Hiccup, glaring daggers at Snotlout, who was sneering behind his father's back. "But our priority for now is to get Vikings and dragons to trust each other. We need integration, a change of habits and beliefs, before we even begin training for battle. Otherwise we would be baking a cake with eggs still in shells."

The two Jorgensons exchanged meaningful glances, smiling widely. Whole Hiccup, hiding behind those big words of his. Just like a strutting rooster. How truly pathetic.

Meanwhile Hiccup repressed the urge to yell at the both of them on top of his lungs. How he hated this. Being regarded with pity, as if he were crippled or mentally retarded. After all the hard work he put into educating this society, they still wouldn't take him seriously. Not even his relatives. This was beyond hopeless.

Worst of all, even his father seemed awkward around him.

"We all appreciate your enthusiasm, son," started the chief gently, "but you are getting ahead of yourself. Integrating dragons into our tribe has not been easy, and I doubt we will be done anytime soon. And before we've gotten our own turf under complete control, we cannot let the other tribes learn too much. I've told you before."

He did. They were definitely making progress in the conversations department, for which Hiccup was grateful, but talking to his father still felt like talking to the open sea at times. It seemed like this time would be one of those times.

"Dad, if we are to stand a chance against Drago, we need ALL the tribes to work together," insisted Hiccup, doing his best to appear big and serious. It didn't work.

"What we need, Hiccup, is to stay ahead of everybody else," replied Stoick. "To establish our position as dragon experts and let everybody know we are not to be messed up with. Otherwise we may not live long enough to face Drago Bludvist."

"So you want them to turn our allies into our slaves?" asked Hiccup in horror. "To have them jump when we tell them and we want to see jumping?"

"That does have a nice ring to it…" admitted Spitelout, scratching his chin.

Meanwhile Stoick sighed heavily.

"Look, Hiccup. We're Vikings. If we don't fight dragons, we fight each other. The first and obvious purpose of training dragons is to use them in battle. If you teach anybody from the outside how to get on a dragon's good side, you can be sure they'll teach their entire tribe and soon we'll have to deal with an Archipelago-scale war on the backs of dragons. Is that what you want, son?"

Hiccup stared at him in disbelief. "But… Bog Burglars are our allies…"

"Allies or not, they ARE a different tribe," insisted the chief. "We have to make sure we're one step ahead of them. We must protect our own."

His son hesitated before asking on. "But what about all these dragons…?"

"WILL. BE. FINE," Mouthed Stoick, glaring at his offspring dangerously. "They're dragons, for Thor's sake. They can hold their own."

Hiccup felt his blood boil. "If mom heard you now…"

"Your mother KNOWS what I think!" exploded Stoick. "And she understands. She realizes very well that the knowledge she gathered on dragons is priceless. That knowledge is power, and the greater the power, the greater the responsibility. The fate of our very world depends on how we deal with this. So, for the good of all Vikings, and all dragons, you will protect our secrets as you would your sister's purity. Is that clear?"

Hiccup could do nothing but clench his teeth and look down. There he was again, belittled and shoved aside, as if nothing had changed. But then, he shouldn't be surprised. It was foolish to assume a few dragons could change Berk into the utopia he wanted it be. Or that riding a Night Fury could change him into what was considered a true Viking. Vikings were Vikings and he was himself. Sad, but true.

Hiccup was finally beginning to understand all the concerns his mother has had before coming to Berk. People cannot change, she told him, you can't make them into something they're not, better let go of those foolish dreams and save yourself the pain. By gods, she had been right. So right it hurt.

The chief's son mentally scolded himself. So achieving his goals will be harder than he had assumed. He could handle that. He would work hard and make this island, archipelago and world into one where people and dragons will no longer have to fear each other. He will end their savage ways and bring peace. For his mother. For Toothless. For everyone.

He will. But for now he has to swallow his pride and strategically retreat.

"Yes, Sir," he whispered respectfully, avoiding his father's eyes.

"Good," grumped Stoick. He has had enough of this conversation and wasn't going to hide it.

Seeing Hiccup so subdued, Snotlout almost felt pity for him. Almost. In all honesty, the runt had everything he needed to impress his father. To amaze his father. He was just too dumb to take advantage of it. Unlike Snotlout, who was a man of action and squeezed all the benefits he could from the discovery his cousin had made. Yes, Snotlout knew that training dragons offered him possibilities he'd never dream he'd have. All his life he had wanted to be exactly like his father. Now he could very well become more than Spitelout ever was. Perhaps even more than any Jorgenson ever was. So he forged the iron while it was hot, he trained and trained and trained some more, all in the same of securing himself the status he deserved. Status was everything. How come Hiccup, son of a chief, didn't understand it?

But then, what can you expect from somebody who always let other children steal his toys and push him around? One who prefers to hide in the forest and hunt imaginary creatures than to confront his problems like a Viking should? Hiccup was a hopeless case, always had been. He might have started to show some backbone recently, but he still needed to be controlled by the true Vikings – for his own good and the good of the village. And Snotlout was eager to be the one to keep an eye on the runty future chief. Hiccup will thank him one day, for sure.

Meanwhile Spitelout couldn't help but tease his stepbrother. "You haven't been teaching your boy enough, have you, Stoick?"

The chief glared daggers at him and grunted in indignation, but Spitelout knew no real reaction would follow. The chief knew very well he could not defend his son, nor himself. Not without making himself look like an idiot. Spitelout pitied him, in a way. The chief has had been quite popular among the Bog Burglars back in the day. Even Bloodybee had tried to seduce him. Alas, Stoick always refused, saying the only woman he'll ever sire heirs upon would be his rightfully wedded wife – once he meets her, that is. His resolve had earned him an insane wife and a runty son. In the meantime, Spitelout had a strapping son to carry on his name, a badge of honor in the form of his Bog daughter, and occasional mind-numbing trysts with the most amazing woman he had ever laid his eyes on. What more could a man want?

'You are a fool, Spitelout' Stoick had told him once. 'She's probably got a different lover on every island she's ever visited, and each and every one of them thinks he's the one she fancies the most'

'Probably' replied Spitelout easily. 'But the way I see it, it's more beneficial to share a good ship with a large crew than to have a wreck all to yourself. Wouldn't you agree, Stoick?'

The chief had grunted at him in indignation back then. But it was obvious to anybody that Stoick envied his stepbrother and regretted having turned Bloodybee down all these years ago. All to Spitelout's pride and joy.

"Oh, there you are."

The men turned. Another example of Spitelout's pride and joy was approaching them vividly.

"Avalanche?" said Spitelout, surprised to see his daughter. "Weren't you with your mother and the others?"

"Yeah, for two or so minutes," said the girl, grinning. "They can sit and sweat if they want, I'd rather go and sweat on the move."

Her father chuckled. "Right. You never liked sauna, did you?"

Avalanche shook her head. "Not a bit. I'm a Viking. My habitat is coldness. My blood is like the underground stream, and my muscles are like frozen rocks. I could run around naked and still be fighting fit!" she declared proudly, placing her hands on her hips.

"Please don't," whispered Hiccup.

"Hah!" exclaimed Spitelout. "My blood, my blood!" he whooped and hollered and clapped his daughter on the back. Avalanche grinned, basking in the praise. The way she saw it she was indeed her father's greatest achievement, something he should be bragging about the most. Nevermind her mother did all the hard work. A praise was a praise, and it pleased her.

Then Hiccup approached her. "But, Ava, did you at least wipe yourself dry?" he asked, concerned. "Too much cold is not good for you either."

Avalanche rolled her eyes. "Hiccup, it's your smart cousin you're talking to, the stupid one is right there," she said, pointing at her brother.

"Ey!" revolted Snotlout. "Who do you call stupid, stupid?!"

"Take a guess, stupid!"

"I'll show you who's the stupid one, stupid! Hookfang, eat her!" he demanded of his dragon. The Monstrous Nightmare replied by seizing the young Viking into his jaws and pulling him up.

Avalanche's eyes instantly widened. "Snotlout!" she screamed, rushing to Hookfang. "Stupid dragon, let go of him!" she demanded angrily, grabbing her brother's legs and pulling hard. The Monstrous Nightmare did as she told him and relaxed his jaws, which resulted in the two siblings falling to the ground. The dragon sneered, finding it amusing.

Snotlout jumped to his feet, eying his dragon dangerously. "I swear, Hookfang! You get in line or I'm roasting you rats no more!"

Hookfang's eyes widened. All to his rider's satisfaction. "Yeah, you heard me right, you useless reptile!"

The Monstrous Nightmare snorted in indignation, turned around and hurriedly flew away. Snotlout stared after him in disbelief, before panic consumed him and he called out in terror:

"Hey! I was going to show you to my mother!" then, realizing it's for naught, he kicked dirt and exploded: "Stupid dragon!"

Meanwhile Spitelout face-palmed, Stoick sighed, Hiccup shook his head disapprovingly, and Avalanche grinned widely.

"Heh. I knew all these achievements you wrote us about were way exaggerated," she snickered. Her brother's anger immediately turned to her.

"Oh yeah? I didn't see you riding a dragon recently, either!"

"Oh yeah? I can get myself one, don't think I can't!"

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah!"

"Umh, Ava?" said Hiccup, daring disturb his cousins. "I really don't think you should be getting a dragon anytime soon."

Avalanche glared at him coldly. "Why? You think a born warrior like me couldn't handle something a walking fishbone like you did? Or a hopeless idiot like him?" she asked, pointing Snotlout. His reaction was instantaneous:

"Hey! Watch your tongue!"

"When I feel like it, you hopeless idiot!"

"Guys!" cried Hiccup. "Can't you behave, for once?"

Both turned to him with furry. "Shut up, Hiccup!"

The chief's son sighed. At least he got them to work together. Sort of.

"Okay, fine," he said in a tone that implied accepting defeat. "I was just going to offer you a dragon riding lesson on Toothless, but nevermind."

Avalanche's anger vanished as she darted towards him. "Hey, wait! You'd let me fly on your Night Fury?! For real?!" she asked, bewildered. Hiccup smiled, congratulating himself on getting her attention.

"Well," he said innocently, "if you so want to ride dragons, who better to teach you than Hiccup the Useful?" he asked in a tone heavy with fake generosity, that made Toothless roll his eyes. And seemed to have disturbed Stoick.

"Hiccup," said the chief warningly.

"Relax, Dad," pleaded his son calmly, "I won't be showing her any tricks. Just show her how very dangerous dragon riding can be," with that he winked at his father, hoping the message was clear enough. If Stoick wants him to carefully portion the knowledge about dragons to other tribes, he will do just that. And make dragon riding seem much harder and more dangerous than it actually is. And possibly convince Avalanche that she doesn't yet have enough guts to enter a relationship with a dragon. Chances are slim, but it's worth a try.

"Sounds great!" exclaimed the girl, all hyped up about the idea. "When do we start?"

Surprisingly, her brother came between her and Hiccup, glaring suspiciously at the other boy. "Whoa, not so fast! You! What do you think you're doing?!" he demanded strictly.

Such a strong reaction confused Hiccup. "Umh… helping your sister…?"

"Exactly!" snapped Snotlout. "She's MY sister! MY!" he growled, putting his arm around Avalanche, as if she were his prized possession. "You want one, then get yourself one!"

The girl vigorously broke away from his hold. "You're so stupid, Snotlout," she scolded. "He can't just 'get' himself a sister. He has to say a prayer to Freya."

Snotlout snorted. "A prayer to Freya? And you're calling ME stupid?"

"Guys, please," begged Hiccup, losing last bits of hope, "can't you really TRY to get along for a change?"

"Oh, sure!" assured Snotlout, highly amused. "Right after Avalanche tells us where babies come from."

"Oh, I'll tell ya, don't think I won't!" declared the girl, outraged. "You stupid boys shut up and pay attention!"

Hiccup was devastated. "This really isn't…"

"SO," started Avalanche firmly, "when a woman wants to have a baby, she says to Freya: 'Please, let me have a baby'. Then Freya says: 'Okay, I give you some of my super divine power. Find a man and have fun'. Then the woman goes and finds a man and kisses him very, very hard, so she could suck in a piece of his soul. The piece of man's soul gets mixed with a piece of woman's soul in the woman's stomach, and nine months later a baby is born. This is how it goes."

The girl put her hands on her hips and eyed the crowd, basking in their attention. There she stood, a superior being, generously sharing her amazing knowledge with those poor, uneducated boys. That sure made her feel good about herself.

It took the men a few seconds to get out of shock. It turned out the story had been so innocent it was almost funny.

Hiccup was particularly relieved. "That's… a nice way to put it, actually," he admitted. He had expected something way more drastic.

Spitelout chuckled. "A piece of soul, heh? Hah. If I let my guard down around Bibi, she'd suck in the whole of my soul. Or at least whole of air from my lungs," he snickered.

Hiccup rolled his eyes. "Geez, we were SO dying to know that."

"Speak for yourself!" scolded Avalanche, outraged. "I get sick hearing about this! I'm never gonna kiss a boy! It's gross!" she shivered in disgust.

The men exchanged meaningful glances. If only she knew.

Meanwhile Snotlout grinned at his sister teasingly. "Not like any boy would like to kiss you, sissy. Not even a frog would like to kiss YOU."

"Oh yeah?!" revolted the girl. "Well you wouldn't kiss a girl if you snuck up to her in her sleep! You know why?! Cause your breath could wake up Grimbeard the Ghastly! And kill him again!"

"Oh yeah?! Well your skin is so fat mosquitoes die from fat overloud before they reach your blood!"

"Oh yeah?! Well your nostrils are so big I could fit my fists in them!"

"Try it, bitch!"

"ARGH!" screamed the girl and threw herself at her brother. The two siblings fell to the ground, turning into a heap of dust, fists and bloodlust.

Hiccup watched them in disbelief. "Do ALL siblings act like this?" he asked, devastated.

"Yes," replied his father and uncle in chorus. The boy sighed. He was suddenly glad to be an only child.

"Chief! Chief Stoick!"

The sudden scream caught everybody's attention. A plump woman with two thick braids of red hair falling to her chest was approaching in a hurry, with panic painted on her face.

"Decay?" asked Stoick, alarmed. "What happened?"

The woman stopped, resting her hands on her knees, struggling to catch her breath. Finally she spoke up, terrified: "Chief, Lady Valka left."

"What?!" cried the chief, his eyes widening in terror.

"She just did!" cried Decay fearfully. "Came out of the sauna, got dressed in a hurry, summoned her dragon and left! I couldn't stop her! She looked so shaken! Sir, what should we do?"

Stoick stood absolutely silent and still, glaring at the servant with absent eyes, his heart pounding and mind racing. Valka left. Just like this. How absurd. How terrifying.

"Dad…?" asked Hiccup shyly. He too was worried about his mother, but even more so about his father. He wasn't used to seeing Stoick this troubled. It made him feel very uncomfortable.

"Where," muttered the chief, "did she go?"

Decay swallowed hard. "I-I-'m not sure. I'd say the Dragon Island. But I can be wrong."

Stoick's fists clenched and brows drew together, his determination pushing the servant back. He was in action mode now. Cursed be whatever stands in his path.

"Decay, return to your post," he ordered firmly. "Spitelout, you keep your eye on the Bogs. Hiccup, you keep your eye on your cousins. I'm going after her. Toothless!" he rushed towards the Night Fury. His son darted to him in panic as he mounted the confused dragon.

"But Dad, I…!"

"GO!" roared Stoick, nudging Toothless' sides harshly with his boots. The dragon whined and spread his wings, jumping into the air. And then they were gone, leaving Spitelout, Decay and the children in shock.

After a few second of awkward silence, the newly appointed acting chief pat his son and daughter on the shoulders. "Well kids, since we're out of dragons, we might as well go find your mom."

Meanwhile Hiccup sighed, staring into the sky in hopelessness. He wondered how normal families spend their reunions.

AN: Stoick already has Thornado at this point, but he was in too much hurry to go and fetch him ^_^