Hello my darlings. I would like to thank the only daughter of Pluto, Vi-Violence, Guardian of the Inheritance, darkpegasuzz, Gingeraffealene, Guest, emrysmorgan, Merille Marc (Guest), Guest, OechsnerC, gaylelbf, NCVII and AndreKl for the amazing comments. I would also like to thank those of you who have followed and favoured since my last update.
So here is the next chapter, I did not expect it to be this long, as I planned on putting this into two or three chapters, but it got away with me and now I can't work out how to spilt it up. So I will leave it as it is.
I hope you like it.
Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin.
Merlin and Arthur were close to their final destination as the sky began to brighten over the forest they walked through, bringing its dabbled dawn light to dance between the leaves, lighting their way back to the ones they cared for. The ones that were standing beside them to protect their home, and help build the Albion that would bring peace to all.
In fact they were so close and the joy they felt at retrieving the sword relaxed them so much, that they did not hear the soldiers on patrol around them. Or at least, they did not until the last possible moment where Arthur turned, sword in hand some sixth sense warning him of the danger at his back.
"Get back to the others, Merlin. I'll hold them off." Arthur shouted to his friend, even if he knew his order would be disobeyed. Not to mention the fact that if he had stopped and thought for a moment he would have realised that sending away his best ally was a stupid thing to do. It was instinctual for him to protect those he cared for, risk only his life rather than theirs as well.
"Idiot." Merlin muttered to himself as he rolled his eyes, trying to find a way to help Arthur in the fight. Like he would ever leave his side.
As another two soldiers moved in from the right Merlin saw his opening, and with a completely graceless move, one that even the lowest members of Arthurs army knew would never work, he slashed at the solider fighting Arthur as the king turned to face the new threat. As the sword in his hand made contact with the immortal man, he burst into a shower of sparks, disappearing from sight and the earth. The explosion caused all there to pause for a fraction of a second before Arthur was moving once more, his mind already reevaluating his plan to accommodate Merlin's weapon as his feet obeyed him unconsciously, making it so that one of the soldiers could slip past him while he kept the other at bay.
Merlin saw what Arthur was doing and as such turned to the new threat. His footwork was abysmal, and his sword craft even worse, but luckily he didn't need either to fight the immortal solider. He just needed to get close enough to cut him through with the sword in his hand to do away with yet another enemy.
Once the third was done away with as the other two had been, Arthur turned to run towards a path that led away from the castle ruins they were heading for. Because he knew that more would come. They needed a strategic point, one that was narrow enough that they could fight the immortals one on one. He knew Merlin's skill with a blade, or lack of skill, and he wanted to make sure his partner had the best possible opportunity to win against those that confronted them.
Merlin didn't hesitate to follow Arthur, even if he was confused about why he was leading them away from where they were trying to get to. Surely returning to castle and having the help of those there would be a much better plan, but he trusted Arthur knew what he was doing, and in fights like this Arthur had vastly more experience than him.
Finally they reached the gully Arthur was aiming for and he stopped running towards the end, positioning himself so he was in front of Merlin and the slope they would need to ascend to get out.
"Arthur, we're trapped." Merlin puffed, even as he pulled the sword up and stood at the ready.
"We can take them better here. They cannot rush us at more than two at a time." Arthur replied his eyes scanning the banks around them, hoping that the immortal soldiers wouldn't try and climb down them. They were treacherous to normal people, but he would not put it past those who believed they could not die to try it.
"Right." Merlin responded. Okay, yeah he guessed that made sense. But he really didn't like the idea of him and Arthur alone taking on a whole army. Hopefully those that had found them hadn't gotten time to call for friends. Oh he really hoped they didn't. And that was the last thought Merlin had as his eyes locked onto the rush of soldiers coming towards them. Watching them, waiting for a chance to strike while also keeping an eye on Arthur were the only things in his head from then on.
Arthur had no idea how long they fought, nor how many of the enemy they took down, but he would not give up. No matter how tired he was getting, he still moved in the graceful movements that had been drilled into him since birth, though he adapted them slightly so that rather than trying to kill, he defended. His role was to make sure Merlin had no more than one solider at a time to deal with. He was the distraction while his friend dispatched the enemy. It felt strange not going for the glory that all knights were taught to get, but there was something comforting, something so very easy in fighting with Merlin. That even though the younger man was the worst person he had ever seen with a sword, he trusted him to protect him. No it was more than that, he knew he would protect him. He knew Merlin had his back, and vice versa.
And not only that, it seemed they were perfectly in sync with each other. He knew when Merlin was ready to take over fighting the soldier he was defending against, and the move where they swapped, Arthur going to the new threat and leaving Merlin the old was seamless. It was like they had been doing it all their lives, and yet this was the first real fight they had been in together. The first time they had fought with swords side by side.
But still they were only two men, and there did not seem to be an end in those coming towards them. They could not keep this up forever. Then it happened. Arthur miss-stepped in the dance he was performing with the enemy, read wrongly the swing of the sword, and it was only someone pulling him backwards by his collar as another sword flashed forwards that he was not gravely injured. But in saving him, Merlin left them open to the others, and Arthur could see on the faces of the enemy soldiers that they knew it to. He could see them sense blood and destruction. Could see they sensed the win. Arthur was already trying to think of a way out when suddenly the boulders that had been on the cliff of the gully fell down in front of them, cutting off the encroaching army in a single wave.
Arthur could think of only one cause for that to happen. "Thank you, Merlin." He panted, standing to give his friend a pat on the shoulder in comradery and gratefulness.
"That wasn't me." Merlin replied breathing deeply as he rested his hands on his knees, enjoying the respite, no matter what had caused it. He was glad it had happened, because he knew he couldn't have carried on for much longer. He definitely wasn't a sword fighter, that was for sure.
"What? Then who-" Arthur started to ask, his eyes going up to the cliff top only to get his answer. Because standing there, grinning at them both was Lancelot.
Merlin followed Arthur's eyes and a wide smile split across his lips as he saw his friend. "You got my message then." he called out to him, before turning to climb out of the gully so he could go and greet him properly.
"I did indeed, Merlin. Sire, it is good to see you again." Lancelot returned as they both reached the surface.
"You too, Lancelot. And perfect timing. Thank you for saving us." Arthur replied moving to grasp Lancelot's arm in the way he did all his knights. Because while Lancelot may not have been a knight in his father's kingdom, he was going to be one in Arthurs own.
"That was not me, but Percival." Lancelot responded gesturing to the massive man next to him. You could see the strength in him even as he stood calmly at Lancelot's side. He was one person Arthur was sure no one wanted to get on the wrong side of, and he was so very glad he was on their side.
"Then thank you, Percival." Arthur replied turning to hold out his hand to the man who had saved both him and Merlin.
"You are welcome, your highness." Percival answered taking the hand held out him with surprise. Lancelot had told him of this man, of the king he would become, but it wasn't until now, when the royal was greeting him as a friend did he truly understand the other man's words.
"Just Arthur." Arthur responded before turning to Merlin who was at his side. "How did you get a message to Lancelot so quickly?" He asked, and out of the corner of his eye he could see the other man tense at his words. Well that was rather revealing now wasn't it?
At his question Merlin just shrugged as he answered. "Magic." as if it was nothing big to inform the king of a country where magic was banned that he used it. And well to him, then it wasn't, but he still caught Lancelot's widening eyes and as such sent him a reassuring smile, as well as a look that said he would explain everything later.
"Of course. Magic." Arthur muttered with a good natured roll of his eyes before turning back to what they needed to do now. "Come, we need to return to the others. We need to plan on how to take back Camelot."
"Can't we sleep first? Fighting is hard." Merlin whined even as he fell into step with his king.
"No, Merlin. Stop being a girl. And maybe if you paid attention in your lessons you would learn how to minimise you energy usage in a battle." Arthur replied sternly, though there was a twinkle in his eyes as he did so.
"Lessons? Is that what you call it? Because I'm sure it is just an excuse for you to bash me round the head with sharp pieces of metal." Merlin spluttered in fake outrage at his words.
"No, that is just an added bonus." Arthur replied with his superior I am the royal you are a servant tone that he knew annoyed Merlin no end.
"One day I am going to use my magic on you in those lessons, then we'll see how you like it." Merlin retorted without missing a beat.
"No you won't, Merlin. My sister would never let you." Arthur replied smugly making Merlin roll his eyes.
"Really? I pretty sure that Morgana will be standing at my side encouraging me because you are such a prat." Merlin responded cheekily.
And so it went, with the two of them bantering back and forth as they made their way to the castle. Once Lancelot got over his shock at how causally they both took conversations about Merlin's magic, he was glad to see how open his friend was discussing it. There was no shame or upset between the two. It was almost as if Merlin having magic made no difference to the two men he was following. As if the idea it would cause a rift between them was the most stupid of notions. He did not know how this change had come about, or what had caused Arthur's seemingly unquestioning acceptance of Merlin's talents, but he was glad to see the obvious acceptance Arthur had of Merlin's abilities. It was past time someone else saw Merlin for who he truly was in Lancelot's mind, and he was so very happy that Arthur obviously did.
Upon their return Merlin got his chance at some sleep as the only one awake was Elyan, who it seemed was on guard duty. He nodded at the four who entered, happily taking Percival to find a place to sleep while Lancelot followed Merlin. He needed to talk to his friend.
"So, Merlin. It seems a lot has changed since we last saw each other." Lancelot said quietly under the cover of laying out his bedding.
"More that you could possibly imagine, my friend." Merlin replied as he slid the blade under his blanket, wanting to keep it hidden from those who had no reason to touch it. He remembered how Uther had looked at the blade he had created for Arthur, and he wanted to make sure that this time, it got to the person who was supposed to weld it.
"Does everyone here know of your… talents?" Lancelot asked wanting to make sure he knew what he could and could not say in the company of the others when they awoke.
"Yes." Merlin responded with a smile, so glad he could finally be who he really was, to all those here. Because those in this room were the ones that would be defending Camelot at his side. They would see the things he could do when he fought Morgause, and he knew he did not need to worry about their acceptance, because they had already given it to him. Or at least he hoped Leon did, he had yet to talk to the man since Gaius had told him all he had done to protect his home and those he cared for. Oh he really hoped the knight didn't try and run him through or anything like that. It really would put a dampener on his good mood at having Lancelot join them and the weapon that could destroy the enemy in his hands.
"And you trust them all?" Lancelot asked, not because he thought Merlin wouldn't, but he needed to know if there was someone he would need to protect his friend from. Though considering Arthurs acceptance he could not see him allowing anyone here that would not stand beside the man with him, if it ever came to that.
At that Merlin's eyes drifted to Morgana who was sleeping close to them. Drifted to the only person in the room who he wasn't sure he did trust completely. But he knew he had to give her a chance, just as she was giving him one. They could never be anything more if they did not trust each other. And he needed them to be together. Because he remembered Kilgharrah's words, remembered how he said her future was still clouded, and he needed to make sure she was on their side. He needed her with them, not against them. He had given her his heart, and he wasn't ready to fight the one he loved. He didn't think he would ever be ready to do that. So he needed to trust her. Trust she would stand by Arthur no matter what came. Therefore taking a deep breath he replied with a seriousness that Lancelot did not understand. "I do. I trust them all with Arthur's life."
And the lady who had been pretending to sleep as she waited for Merlin and Arthur to return couldn't help the silent gasp she gave at those words. Because she knew Merlin, and she knew there was no greater trust he could give than that of Arthur's life. He trusted her, he had said he loved her, and now he said he trusted her. She didn't know what to do with that. Didn't know how that made her feel, where it left her belief in what she and Merlin were, or what they could one day be. Because this was something she had never expected to hear. She knew Merlin trusted her to side with them, or at least he gave a good impression of it since they came to this castle, but hearing he trusted her completely, it threw her mind into a whirlwind, and caused all the feelings she had been denying she felt to rise up inside of her.
But there was something else as well. Something she couldn't define that was hovering just out of reach of her conscious mind. There was something she was almost feeling. Something that she knew one more push would make it reveal itself to her. But what that feeling was, or what would push it into the light escaped her. And as she finally fell asleep, lulled by the sounds of the settled people around her she tried to concentrate on that feeling. Tried to work out what it was with her unconscious mind. But all she saw when she slept were the horrors that were to come. The battle to regain Camelot… and the death of her sister at her brothers hand.
She shot awake at that, breathing heavily as she tried to pull herself together. It was just a dream, it didn't mean anything. It was not a vision. She could not let it be a vision. Because she could not believe Arthur would kill her sister, no matter what she had done. Morgause could not die, not by Arthur's hand. She wouldn't let it happen. She couldn't let it happen. For all of Morgause's faults she was her sister and she loved her. Not to mention she sided with Arthur. It couldn't be true. It could not happen. Arthur could not kill Morgause. She had to find a way to stop it. There must be a way.
With that she stood silently, before moving towards one of the windows, far away from the others she needed to think. She needed a plan. She needed something that would stop Arthur from breaking her heart, from breaking her completely and her fragile belief in the world he would create. Because she knew if he killed Morgause she would never be able to forgive him. She would never be able to live in his world, not when all she would see, all she would remember was her sister dead at his feet. She needed something to stop him… or someone. With that she turned her eyes back to the sleeping people, only to find her green ones meeting those of blue. Meeting the eyes of the only person she could think that would be able to change Arthur's mind. She met the eyes of Merlin.
Merlin had woken as soon as Morgana had sat up. He hadn't moved, instead choosing to watch her, to see what it was that had caused her to wake. But when she stood he couldn't stop himself from wanting to rise also. He wanted to go to her, but he was sure she would not like his company. He was just considering waking Gwen when Morgana turned and stared at him. He stared back, not moving or saying a word, just staring. Looking into the eyes of the woman he loved. The eyes of the woman he had only now realised he trusted completely.
And then the spell that was over them was broken when she waved her hand towards an alcove. Moving towards it without waiting for him to respond, as if she knew he would join her there. But of course he would. He would go anywhere for her.
Therefore he stood, and as he moved towards where Morgana was waiting he didn't noticed that he knocked Arthur, waking the king from his slumber as he did so.
"Morgana?" Merlin asked quietly when he reached her side, not wanting their words to travel to the others in the room.
"I heard you earlier, Merlin. You said you trusted me… with Arthur's life." Morgana murmured back, wondering if he would deny his words to her now. Wondering if he would tell her he lied to his friends.
But Merlin did not. Instead he replied with completely sincerity, "I do."
"You also said you love me." Morgana continued, though that feeling that had been hovering just out of her gasp seemed to slip a little bit closer at his words.
"I love you with all my heart, Morgana." Merlin responded without hesitation. Because he did. He wanted so much to be with her for the rest of his life. Wanted them both to embrace who they really were, to live the life they were meant to have in the future Arthur would create. It was so close he could almost touch it. The peace Arthur would bring once Camelot was theirs once more.
"And yet my brother still comes first, does he not?" Morgana asked, trying to keep any resentment she felt at those words from her voice. Trying to project a calm she did not truly feel. Not after her dream.
"What is it you want?" Merlin asked his eyes narrowing at her words. He knew there was something. I mean she hadn't really spoken to him since their fight in her room and now she wanted a private conversation? He knew she wanted something from him, and he needed to know what it was.
"For you to put me first. Just once." Morgana replied simply, and while she said the words as a way of manipulating Merlin to do as she wished, she couldn't help but feel them resonate deepliy in her soul. Couldn't help but accept the truth of them as she spoke. Because that was truly what she wanted from Merlin, for him to put her first, just once. To put them first, or at least the possibility of them.
"How?" Merlin asked suspiciously. He could see the manipulation she was working, and he would not fall for it. He would not endanger Arthur, not even for the woman he loved, surely she knew that. And even as he thought that and pulled his resolution around him to say no to whatever it was she was going to ask, something inside of him was screaming at him to stop. Screaming at him to listen to her, to actually hear what she had to say. Something that was trying to tell him that the very future he fought for hinged on the decision he made now. Not that he was listening.
"Save my sister, Merlin. Please." Morgana begged, and for the first time in the conversation she let all her masks fall as she stared into the blue eyes of the man in front of her. As she stared at the only person she knew who had a chance at doing what she was asking.
"She has attacked Camelot and killed Uther, there is nothing I can do that will save her from her fate." Merlin replied instantly shaking his head. And even as he said the words he couldn't help but wonder if he would if he could. Would he really save the woman who had caused so much pain and destruction? He didn't think so. Whatever Arthur chose to do with her, she would no doubt deserve in his mind.
"You're wrong. You have more power than you know." Morgana snapped back, her voice rising as she forgot the sleeping people around them.
"And what if I believe she deserves to die?" Merlin asked simply his voice matching hers in volume, seeing only the woman in front of him. He could not let Morgause live if she still had a hold on Morgana and from what she was saying it seemed she did.
"You have forgiven me, why not her?" Morgana demanded outraged that he thought Morgause deserved to die. She did not. As soon as she had told her sister of the vision of Arthur as king Morgause had been behind them. Had sided with them. How could he possibly think she deserved to die?
"She has done so much worse than you." Merlin responded as if that explained his reason for not forgiving her. And to him it did. Morgause had taken the woman he had known and loved and turned her against all her friends and family all in the name of revenge. Yes Morgause most certainly did not deserve to live.
"No. She thought Arthur was dead, Merlin. Dead. She believed that our only chance at a peaceful resolution was gone. She did what she had to do, to protect our people." Morgana defended hotly. She could not believe what he was saying. He was wrong.
"That doesn't excuse the fact she sent an immortal army to take Camelot. Do you know how many have died because of her?" Merlin snapped back his own voice rising as his temper flared to match hers. How could she possibly think that he could forgive Morgause after doing that?
At his obvious show of temper Morgana took a breath. They would get nowhere if they argued. She needed to give him a reason to see things from her point of view. Therefore in a calmer tone she responded. "And how many more will die if we don't break the cycle of murder? Do you really think our people will accept a king who kills a High Priestess? Do you really think people will accept Arthurs new world if he starts it with blood on his hands?"
"It is not my decision to make." Merlin replied resolutely his tone hard. He would not try and sway Arthur on his decision with Morgause. He would not break the trust his king had in him that would be caused if he did so.
"But it is. You are Emrys. You are the most powerful magic user to ever walk the earth. You are the one our people will look to, to protect them. They may respect Arthur as their king, but only because you are at his side. Save my sister Merlin, or this will never end." Morgana responded passionately. She could see it all as if it was playing out in front of her. Could see how the magical community would respond to Arthur killing Morgause and then proclaiming magic free. No one would trust him, no one would trust the world he wanted to create if he started with revenge for Uther's death, especially as most believed he deserved to die long ago for all he had done to them. No, if Morgause died it would never end.
"Do not threaten me, Morgana." Merlin growled back at her his eyes narrowing. He read more into her words than she meant, but he had spent so long fighting the idea that she would be his enemy. He would not stand here and listen to her holding that over his head. He would not bow to her wishes just to keep the peace. The only way it would ever truly work was if they were equals, and if he caved at her words they never would be. He knew that.
"It is not a threat, it is a promise. You want peace, prove it." Morgana hissed back. She did not understand what he meant by his words. Did not understand the role she could play in the darkness she saw closing in around them all. all she saw was that he was the only one that could save them all, could bring about the peace they both longed to see in Arthur kingdom.
"Morgana, I can't-" Merlin replied, his voice breaking as he tried to find the words to convince her that she needed to trust Arthur. Trying to find the words to help her accept that her sister was not going to survive what was to come. Words that would help her heal when the time came.
"Yes you can. If you love me you can. Please, I can't… I can't accept that my sister will die at my brother's hand." Morgana responded, her own voice breaking as the words conjured the dream image to her mind once more.
"Then tell Arthur that. Talk to him. Ask him to save her." Merlin replied gently. He wanted nothing more than to take her in his arms right then and tell her everything was going to be okay. But he knew it was not. But he couldn't change it. Maybe if she asked Arthur to save Morgause, maybe for her he would. But he would not do it for Merlin.
At that Morgana's spine straightened and words she didn't mean to say flowed from her lips, as if another was guiding her. As if another was using her voice to get a message to the man in front of her.
"He is not the one who has to prove himself to me, Merlin. You are. For once, put me first."
And with that Morgana swept away, back to her blankets leaving Merlin feeling wretched behind her. Because there was no chance he could ever do as she was asking. He could never ask Arthur to forgive Morgause. Because she had killed his father, and nothing would ever make that okay. And as he stood there thinking that he realised he had lost. He had gambled everything he had to bring her to their side, but that one conversation showed him that he had failed. Because Arthur would kill Morgause, and Morgana would turn against them. She would stop at nothing to get revenge for the death of her sister, because he knew with a clarity he didn't understand that right now Morgana was standing on a knifes edge, and one more push and she would fall over into madness and hate. Nothing would ever bring her back from that, and he knew Morgause's death would be that push. It would be the catalyst that would destroy everything he had hoped to save. Would destroy all he had been working towards.
But even with that knowledge he knew there was nothing he could do to stop Arthur. The world was going to end in fire and pain and he was helpless to prevent it. He was defeated, and not only had he lost the chance of the future of peace, he had also lost his heart. He didn't know what to do, because there was nothing he could do but try and minimise the damage. Try and save as many as he could from the hell that was to come.
Arthur had lain awake long after both Morgana and Merlin had returned to slumber. His mind was going round in circles. When he had first seen them together in the alcove he had been happy that it seemed they were finally sorting things out between them. He wanted them to be happy together, just as he hoped to be with Gwen when Camelot was once more his. But then he heard their words. Heard how Morgana was asking Merlin to save Morgause. His first reaction to that was a definite no. There was no way he was letting that sorceress live, not after the destruction she had caused. Not to mention the fact she had killed his father. So no, there was nothing either of them could say that would get him to change his mind about executing her the minute Camelot was his.
But even that conviction couldn't stop him hearing the words Morgana said. Couldn't stop him from hearing her plea. It broke his heart. And for the first time he realised just what Morgause meant to Morgana. She was her sister just as much as he was her brother. He couldn't imagine the pain it was causing her having them on opposite sides. But it wasn't until he heard her return to her bedding and he turned to look at Merlin that he suddenly understood it all. Because his friend looked like he had just lost everything. He looked like every dream he had, everyone he loved, had died in front of him with the ending of that conversation, and that broke something inside of Arthur that he didn't know could break. It wasn't his conviction, or his will. It was… it was his hope. Merlin never gave up, he never lost. To see him do it now sacred Arthur in a way nothing else ever could.
he had no idea how he would be able to save Merlin from his despair, but the one thought that Arthur knew with certainty was that he would do everything he could to do so. Merlin had saved his life and kingdom more times than he could count, it was time for him to return the favour. Arthur had no idea how he was going to do that, especially as he was still firmly in the belief that Morgause deserved to die, but he would find a way. Because he could not let Merlin lose. Because if Merlin lost, then they all did, and he wasn't ready for that, not now, not ever.
With that thought firmly embedded in his brain he turned his mind to the battle that was to come, and to the plan he would need to devise. After all it really was all rather moot if they didn't take back Camelot, now wasn't it?