AN: Upon consideration, I have decided to make this flashback a chapter of its own. I hope this improves the clarity of the narrative.

"We met four years ago," Rhea had told Valka as they were walking up the hill to her friend's property. "Sig's wife was pregnant with their second child, and they needed some help around the household."

The former Hooligan was keeping a slow, steady gait, which fit the even and matter-of-fact tone of her voice. Valka followed, adjusting her pace to match Rhea's, and listened attentively.

"You should have seen him then," continue Rhea, marching on, "always checking on her, making sure she was comfortable, helping her with everything and all. Gerda said she found a true gem. He's so happy when I talk to him, she said. I may spurt out the dumbest nonsense, and he looks like I gave him a present. So hard-working, so dedicated, doing all that needs doing without being asked."

The sound that followed this utterance could be interpreted as a snort, or as a heavy sigh. Either way, it was accompanied by the shaking of Rhea's head. "They were so bloody happy. So, sure enough, all this bloody happiness just had to end in an even bloodier tragedy."

Valka gave a nod, even though Rhea couldn't see it. She never noticed a wife, nor a second child of Sig's. It wasn't hard to figure out something went wrong. "It was the labor, wasn't it?" she guessed.

"Yeah. Gerda bled to death, and her son didn't make it," Rhea sounded like it didn't concern her, but a kick aimed at a nearby snow pile suggested otherwise. "Sig took it very hard. For the longest time, he couldn't pull himself up and do anything. His family wasn't much of help – his father has a young second wife and young healthy children, so an adult son is the least of his concerns. Gerda's family tried to help, but they weren't feeling so great themselves. Her mother passed away within the following year – her heart just couldn't take it. The father, he still lives with one of his older daughters in the village, but he's pretty much lost contact with reality. This Winter just might be his last."

"Such tragedy," said Valka, though even these words seemed inadequate in the context of what she's heard.

Rhea, however, responded with a half-hearted shrug. "Tis life," she remarked, "So's the way t'has to be. Who'd strive for Valhalla, if this was anywhere as good?" she gestured their surroundings. Then, whether because of weariness or a sudden strike of melancholy, she came to a halt.

Valka was hesitant to catch up – not being able to see Rhea's face was making the conversation easier. The other woman seemed to be of similar opinion, if not looking back at her comrade was any indication.

When a moment passed without Rhea taking a step or uttering a word, Valka became anxious. This sudden halt might have been something way more than a simple break, she speculated. Her comrade could be giving her an indirect permission to steer the conversation towards a topic of her own choosing. Sure enough, there were things Valka wanted to know, there were questions burning in her head that she wanted answered. Yet, a part of her was afraid of what she may hear. Worse yet – of voicing her concerns the wrong way. She had only just met Rhea and didn't know what would be too direct, too pretentious or too disparaging. The risk of accidentally hurting the other woman was real.

Valka pondered what to do, fighting a sense of heaviness that settled in her limbs. This was no time to be multiplying bad scenarios. They won't be able to talk openly once they get inside. If she was to ask Rhea any questions, it had to be now. Upon consideration, she opted to continue the current topic. "So… you helped him cope…?"

"Aye," said Rhea absently. "Did everything that needed to be done. Seemed like the right thing to do. When Sig recovered enough to get by, I took my leave. I promised I'd be back for the next harvest. This is the arrangement we ended up with – the harvest and the Winter, I stay here. The Spring, I look for work elsewhere. Bog Burglars need domestics when they're out raiding, so I tend to stick with them."

Valka considered her wording carefully. Feeling a little bolder, she asked on. "Did you consider staying here? For good?"

Rhea shook her head. "I didn't want Raina to get too attached. It's better if she sees me as a friend of the family than a replacement for her mother."

Valka understood the underlying message of 'I don't want to hurt her like I did Hiccup'.

In a way, it was amazing. There was somebody who could understand almost perfectly the regrets that weighted her conscience. Somebody who had caused her son as much pain as she had. It may have been wrong to bond with anyone over such vile deeds, but Valka couldn't help the sense of togetherness that spread through her veins. Feeding on it, she took a step in Rhea's direction. Thereupon, she addressed her once more. "What about Sig? How do you feel about him?"

Rhea didn't answer right away. For a couple of seconds, she let her gaze wander the fields and buildings that made up Sig's property. As she did, Valka waited patiently, watching her companion's back, even if it gave no indication of what was going on in her head – or her heart, for that matter.

After a moment of careful consideration (or so Valka assumed), Rhea confessed thus: "He is my dear friend, I won't say 'just a friend', because I value my friends. Even though it might sound like a joke, given how I ditched the ones I had on Berk," she gave a self-depreciating snort and ran her hand across her face. Afterwards, she spoke in a more somber tone. "We did consider it. Marriage, I mean. For the sake of our children. I am a single mother of a son, he is a single father of a daughter, it makes sense for us to be together. But it just wouldn't work. I don't find him the tiniest bit attractive, and he's still hopelessly in love with his late wife. Playing at a family would ruin our friendship and that would be it."

All of a sudden, she turned and looked directly at Valka. "I won't make the same mistake again," she declared boldly. "I won't be with anyone because it's convenient or reasonable or whatever dumb reason I can find. If I am ever to be with a man again, I need to be his first choice, not the backup plan. I need to know he loves me, that I am exactly the woman he's wanted all along, me, and only me, the way I am," she paused, her mouth falling open. It seemed like she bared her soul a little more than she had meant to. Over a few shaky breaths, in which her single eye scanned Valka in dread, she called herself to order. "If," she uttered, "If I can't have that… I'd rather remain alone." Sense of defeat and embarrassment were evident in her voice. Still, she did her best to appear tough.

Valka's heart was disturbed. 'This is a woman who has given up on delusions, as well as dreams,' she thought of her comrade. It wasn't a comforting thought.

At the same time, the sympathy she felt for Rhea was tainted with terrifying suspicions. Did the former Berkian still harbor feelings for Stoick? Did she still long for him, despite all reason? If she hadn't settled down in, what, eight years? Sure, she gave explanation as to why, but she was still a threat.

Threat? What heck, woman! She is the victim here, and you the oppressor, remember?!

The Dragon Whisperer grimaced, her head throbbing with assumptions, arguments, and questions. She had to keep the conversation going, to keep herself anchored in reality. Many options crossed her mind – 'Do you still have feelings for Stoick?', 'Has there been nobody else then?', even 'I am sorry'.

Surprisingly, what she ended up saying was thus: "You are absolutely right. It is better to be alone than be in a relationship that doesn't suit your needs. Marrying for reason in not bad in itself, but if this isn't what you want, then you shouldn't go for it. I'm serious."

There was no telling which of the two women was more surprised by this declaration.

Valka fell silent, feeling her heartbeat in her throat. Rhea stared at her with a troubled expression. For a moment, they stayed like this, processing what was said.

Finally, Rhea seemed to have made up her mind. "You know," she spoke in a cautious tone, taking a moment to adjust her eye-patch, "I've been thinking… I know Gerda loved Sig just as much as he did her. I know, because I met her. I got to see them together. When it comes to your marriage, I only have Stoick's account," she attempted a more casual stance, but did not seem remotely comfortable. "He said he found you a nuisance at first – not surprising, with you being a great deal younger than him. Then, somehow, everything he once found annoying – the boldness with which you met his eyes, the dignity you carried yourself with, the way you stubbornly stuck to your beliefs when it bought you nothing but trouble – all that had become endearing, and he didn't know how. From his perspective, yours was a relationship that went from 'fuck you' to 'fuck me'."

She gave Valka a curious look. "When I try to remember your interactions with Stoick, I can't distinguish between what I actually saw and what I've heard from other people. Back then, I just didn't care. Now, I want to know – were you as invested in this marriage as he was? Did you marry him for love, or for some other reason?"

Valka was momentarily taken aback. This wasn't the kind of development she had considered. What should her reaction be? Ardent denial? Defensiveness? Indignation? The very foundations of her marriage were being questioned, for crying out loud!

"You can be honest," assured Rhea. "I have no intention of telling anyone, least of all your husband."

Valka bit her lower lip, averting her gaze. 'I don't have to explain myself to her,' the thought rang in her head. 'Gods only know I've made enough confessions the way it is. Why should I have to keep acknowledging my mistakes?'

'You know this isn't about pinning the guilt,' another, calmer thought, soothed her. 'Rhea is beginning to see you for who you really are. She may have some negative theories about you, but she is giving you a chance to prove her wrong. Do you think it's easy for her, given how she's most likely bore nothing but hatred for you for all these years?'

The Dragon Whisperer took the risk and probed her companion's face. She looked and looked, and saw nothing remotely resembling an accusation. There was not a trace of malice or conspiracy. Only the simple concern of one woman for another. If there was anything more to be read from the former Berkian's expression, it would be weariness. Also, in the absolute worst interpretation, acceptance of defeat.

'You two are alike. You could be allies. Don't let your insecurities sabotage what you've achieved until now.'

Valka closed her eyes and took a steadying breath. All things despicable or undesirable vented out to the atmosphere, enabling her to finally focus on replying to Rhea's question.

'Were you as invested in this marriage as he was? Did you marry him for love, or for some other reason?'

Here goes nothing.

"There was a time I hated him," she started, pronouncing each word carefully. "Then there was a time I hated myself, for thinking about him every waking moment and dreaming of him every night."

She shook her head at the absurdity of those two sentences. "It was crazy. I was a rebellious teenager, roaming the Peacable forests with my sketchbook. I held nothing but contempt for the Hooligan chief and his oaf of a son. Then, all of a sudden, the oaf comes and says he needs capable warriors to fill in the gaps in Berk's defenses. He says I should come along. And I do."

She let out a sigh, combining it with another head-shake. "I guess we saw each other as a challenge. To him, I was a talented youth who could be molded into a formidable asset to his Tribe. Meanwhile, I thought he could become a valuable ally. I told myself I wanted to impress him, influence him, make him a better chief than his father was."

She fell silent for a moment, remembering. "Then, somewhere along the way, something changed. The proud, uncompromising warrior was suddenly awkward, and cautious, and considerate. I still hurled insults at him, his father, and the way they ran the village, and he didn't seem to care. It was as if he wanted to put me back in my place, but for some bizarre reason couldn't."

Valka had almost forgotten she had an audience. In her mind, she was in the Great Hall, her eyes jumping from Stoick's extended hand to his reddening face. He had just asked her to dance and she trying to decide whether she should retreat, thus avoiding potential humiliation, or give in to the growing need for his closeness.

"I realized he was falling in love with me… and I with him," she whispered, blushing like the maid she had been back then. "I was excited as much as I was terrified. We were so wrong for each other. Everybody said that. And yet…," a sheepish smile pulled at her lips. "Gods have mercy upon me, I wanted him. I wanted him so badly. Even when I wanted to strangle him. We argued, sure, but then he apologized, pulled me into his arms, rubbed my back and gently whispered 'it's okay'. This warmth of his, this gentleness, it was addictive."

"It made me think… there was still hope to bring about the peace I so desired. For him, for the sake of our future, it was worth trying. It was worth being let down, berated, and ridiculed, over and over again, by damn near everyone in our Tribe and beyond. As long as Stoick as willing to hear me out, even though he didn't agree with what I said, my efforts weren't in vain."

"Then Cloudjumper abducted me… and I…"

She swallowed hard against the lump forming in her throat. This was no good sign. She really ought to wrap the story up. Seriously. But…

"I wanted to go back," she sobbed. "I swear by all gods, I wanted to go back, to be with my husband and son. I thought, if I could learn to work with dragons in the Sanctuary, if I could bring them to Berk, we could all be happy together. But I was afraid. I was so very afraid. What if it didn't work? What if I made things worse? What sign did I have that anyone or anything could change? I was tired, so fucking tired of fighting my own people. Fighting strangers was easier."

She hated herself for saying these words, for turning this into a rant, for pushing her issues into the spotlight. She shouldn't be doing this. There was no point. So why did the words keep spilling from her mouth, as did tears from her eyes?

"I missed them. I wrote them letters. Painted their portraits. Tried to imagine what they would look like at a given time… and yet," she paused, to wipe her face. "Yet… any other woman could bear Stoick's children. Any other woman could raise Hiccup. But saving dragons was something only I could do."

She exhaled a low, long sigh. "I loved him. This is why I married him. Also, why I left him. Make of it whatever you want."

With that, she let her head and eyelids drop. Fatigue settled into her body, closing down all the systems. There was no more anger, sadness or shame. She was beyond the point of caring.

The world seemed to have died for a moment. Seconds passed slowly, like snowflakes slowly descending from the sky. Air seemed thick like the murky waters of a swamp.

Amidst this ugly landscape, Valka's ears registered a human's voice. "Do you love him?"

Valka looked up, confused.

"Stoick," pronounced Rhea. "You said you loved him. Do you love him still?"

The Dragon Whisperer gave her companion a puzzled look. The question took her by surprise. Meanwhile Rhea was calmly awaiting an answer. Catching Valka's uncertainty, she tilted her head while raising her eyebrow, in what appeared to be a provocation. 'Well?'

Valka found herself nodding in affirmation. "Yes," she uttered. "I love him. Right now, I love him more than ever."

Rhea appeared skeptical. "Are the two of you happy now?"

"Yes," declared Valka, without a hint of hesitation. "We are."

Rhea studied her face for a moment. Valka met her eye with more confidence than she'd exhibited in the short time they've known each other. She was feeling better now, having voiced some of her internalized pain. She had been reluctant, but it turned out to be a healing experience. Rhea's reaction was moderate, providing Valka with further relief. It seemed as though they would be ending this conversation on a positive note.

Meanwhile Rhea shifted slightly, lifting one foot to rub the opposing calf. "Good," she muttered, giving a distracted nod. "That's good."

Valka wasn't sure what exactly Rhea was referring to, but it didn't concern her all that much. Struck by a sudden urge, she blurted: "And you? Do YOU love him?"

Rhea hesitated only briefly. "Neh… at least, not in the way you do. I mean, I will always admire him as my chief and as a person, and think of him fondly. When I hold our son… when I watch him grow…," a reminiscent smile spread on her face. "I don't regret a thing," she said sincerely. "I treasure the time I've had with Stoick. But I couldn't go back to that. Not after all that's happened. Right now, I just want him to be happy. If he's happy with you, then I'm happy for you. Both of you."

There was a moment of silence. Then Valka made a bold move. "Sorry is too weak of a word, considering how much pain I caused all of you," she said, coming towards her companion. "From now on, I am going to speak through actions. I am going to use all of the experience and knowledge I have accumulated in the time I spent in the wild to make this world a better place. For people and for dragons. For my son and for yours. For every single person I have ever hurt. Including you."

Rhea looked skeptical. Valka chose to ignore it and offered a hopeful smile. The former Berkian shook her head, as though in exasperation, but couldn't help grinning. "I will be looking forward to seeing you try," she said in amusement.

Valka was delighted, which showed on her face. She was feeling ridiculously happy and was practically beaming.

Rhea, being Rhea, shrugged. "I need to piss out some of that mead. You wanna come along?"