Hi guys. I'm sorry this chapter took as long as it did. Lots of unexpected things came up, but what's important is that the new chapter is here now. I hope you guys all enjoy!
The words had struck his heart. Who are you? The woman lying before him, the person who he loved didn't know who he was. Above all else, he wanted her to be okay and she was. But how was he supposed to be okay when the person he cared about most in this world didn't know him? Those three words set in his panic. It was almost like he was losing her all over again. Yes, she was still alive, but she wasn't herself. The person he had come to love and cherish was seemingly gone. All of their memories wiped from her mind. All of their moments that they have shared over the years were long gone. They would have to start all over, if she would even let him. He couldn't go through all of that pain again. "Donna, it's me," he whispered, practically begging for her to remember with his words.
Even more confusion flashed over her face. She shook her head and began to speak once more. "No, it can't be." There was a hesitation in her voice when she spoke. Looking side to side, she continued on. "See, the Harvey Specter I know doesn't cry. What happened to 'caring makes you weak'?"
It took him a moment to understand her words. She said his name. The relief finally settled in as he realized that she had remembered him. Their memories were revived with her, their moments gaining back their importance. Gallo hadn't taken anything from them. He was still Harvey, and she was still Donna.
"What did you just say to me?" he questioned, still unsure that this was real, that he wasn't dreaming.
She lifted her hand to her head, feeling the bandage securing her. "I probably should've just said hi, huh?"
The laughs from inside couldn't be contained as he let out a soft chuckle, shaking his head at the woman before him. There was a mixture of tears and laughter coming from the man before her. They were good tears, however. Harvey Specter was exuding happiness. He allowed himself to sit down on the side of her bed, allowing his hand to find its place on her leg. "It wasn't the best time for a joke," he explained. "I wouldn't expect anything else from you, Paulsen. It's been a long couple of hours without your witty banter."
The smile that had grown on her face was out of her control now. He always knew exactly what to say to her. It was just what she wanted to hear after everything that had happened. She could sense that he missed her, whether he would admit it or not. That was all the comfort she needed at that moment. "I didn't think I would see you again," she confessed, tears welling in her eyes. "How did we get here?"
It was the only question he wished he didn't have to answer. While he knew he had to tell her, he wasn't sure if he was ready to handle that pain again. All the events from that night had flashed before his eyes once more.
When he looked at Donna laying there in her hospital bed, he was brought back to when she was curled in his arms, barely hanging on for dear life, the same moment when he wasn't sure if it was his tears or her blood that was soaking through his shirt. He had convinced himself that that was the last time he would ever hold the woman he loved in his arms. Along with the memory of her heartbeat getting fainter and fainter as he could do nothing but watch his soulmate leave him forever. If she died, so did he.
"Harvey, where did you go?" She asked, interrupting his deep thoughts and bringing him back to their reality. His eyes were telling her that wherever he just drifted off to, was not a good place.
"I'm sorry, I… uh," Harvey mumbled as he was clearly too overwhelmed with the emotions of the memories. "How much do you remember?"
Taking a large gulp, she began to speak. "It all happened so fast. I was waiting on my food when I saw the news about Gallo's escape. I didn't think much of it, let alone that he would be at my door within the next few minutes." She was clearly getting upset thinking about whatever she was about to say next. Harvey brushed his hand up her leg and found her hand once more. The action causing more tears to take over her eyes.
"I heard the knock at the door, and I assumed it was the delivery guy, so I went to grab the cash off my dresser. By the time I was near the door, he had already kicked it open. I think a piece of the door frame might've hit me in the face. And then he… charged at me," she choked on her own words. Harvey clenched his jaw in an attempt to fight back his own tears.
"Donna, you don't have to-"
"I fought back, Harvey. I used whatever I could to fight him off. My heels, the picture hanging, but he was stronger than me. The last thing I remember before him knocking me out was being thrown against the wall." She could barely get those last few words out. The pain behind her eyes was so evident when she spoke of what happened, but Harvey couldn't help but admire how strong she had been throughout it all.
"If he wasn't dead already, I'd go and kill him myself right now," Harvey explained, passing the sad stage and heading straight to rage.
"I'm glad you are here, Harvey." Using as much energy as she could get, she reached out and rested her hand on his.
Her touch was all he needed to calm his nerves. His entire body was able to cool down from the sudden rage he had just felt. "When I walked into your apartment, it was a horror scene, but I was reminded by the setting that you were a fighter. You can get through anything and that was what kept me going," he trailed off. What he was about to say next, was clearly making him nervous. He started to stumble, "Uh, soooo do you remember…"
"Remember what?" She asked, intrigued by the difficulty he was having with forming his question. Before he was able to continue, the doctor walked in.
Doctor Barns was shocked at the sight before him. "Miss Paulsen! I'm Doctor Barns, your surgeon. I'm so glad to see you are awake. How are you feeling?"
Donna attempted to sit up to speak to the man but winced from the pain as she settled back down. "I've been better. I do have a raging headache and some soreness throughout my body."
The doctor flipped through her chart while he listened. "I'll have one of the nurses give you something for the pain, but what you're feeling is totally normal considering you just had brain surgery so there's nothing to worry about."
Harvey looked at Donna in relief. She was finally okay, whatever that meant now. "When can I take her home?" Harvey inquired, sending a soft smile back to her as he gave her hand a light squeeze. Donna looked puzzled at the way he had asked his question. He wanted to take her home.
She wasn't entirely sure what it was, but she knew something had changed. His whole demeanor was completely altered. They had a flirty, playful banter going for years, but the way he had just looked at her was so tender and loving. Maybe he was finally ready for her and to admit everything that almost everyone on this Earth had realized except for him; Donna Paulsen was the most important person in Harvey's life and he finally knew it.
"Well, we will have to monitor her for the next couple of days to know when. Some patients are good to go home after a week, but each case is different," the doctor explained, looking back at Donna as he finished.
Harvey reached over her bed, extending his hand to the doctor. "Thank you… for everything." Donna's heart skipped a beat watching the exchange. The sincerity in his voice nearly melted her. Relief had now washed over him and quickly turned to happiness.
Trying to process all of his emotions, she got lost somewhere deep in thought. If she didn't know any better, she would've thought that maybe he did love her. Their lines had always been blurry, but she didn't want to kid herself. Him and Paula were together. There was no Donna and Harvey, but then she is brought back to her apartment. Gallo's words echoed in her head. The thing that matters most. Frank had thought that she was the most important person in his life. How could she be when they didn't even have everything?
"Donna," Harvey questioned. "Everything okay?"
She was brought back to reality at the sound of his voice. "Yeah sorry. What were you saying?"
Confusion appeared on his face after hearing her question. "I didn't say anything the doctor just said goodbye."
"You're an idiot," she giggled. "I meant before we were interrupted by him, silly."
Once again, the man she thought she knew became a completely different person. She could tell that he was hoping she had forgotten. It was just like the old Harvey. His nervousness overcame him as she watched the confident Harvey Specter disappear. What was it that was eating him alive? They could always talk about anything and now he couldn't even mumble a word to her.
His mouth fell open, but the sound that was supposed to be coming out of it was lacking. Words were not forming for Harvey Specter. He was so incredibly frustrated. Everything he wanted to say to her was all there, but for some reason when he looked into her deep brown eyes something stopped him. He finally knew how he loved her and yet he couldn't tell her. It wasn't that he didn't want to, but his body wouldn't let him. Why was everything so complicated when it came to them?
"Oh, my goodness! You really are awake!" Rachel screeched as she ran into the room, with Mike and Louis following right behind her. Donna reluctantly broke eye contact with Harvey and looked over at her friends. They all ran over to her bedside to give her hugs. "I'm so happy-" her friend choked. Rachel's emotions had started to take over as the tears left her eyes.
Donna was surprised and moved by her friend's outburst. "Aw Rach, I'm okay. Don't cry please."
Louis quickly jumped in front of them all and smothered her with love. "You're alive."
The laughs echoed through the room. "Yes, Louis I am. I'm really okay guys."
The bruises on her face told them otherwise, but they went along with it anyways. She didn't look like herself anymore. While her energy still made her Donna, she was unrecognizable. She was paler than ever, if that was even possible. All of her warmth had left her body. None of them had ever seen someone with so many cuts on their arms before that moment. It was incredibly painful for them to see all of those terrible reminders of what had happened to her and how none of them were there to stop it.
"What do you need from us?" Mike finally spoke. She could tell by his tone that he was barely keeping all of his emotions in check.
"This is all I could ever need. You guys being here is everything," she smiled, still trying to convince everyone of her "I'm okay" motto. Her eyes glazed over the room, noticing she was convincing no one. It frustrated her that her superpowers were of no help in that moment.
The silence in the room was deafening. No one knew what to say next. What were they supposed to say? There was nothing that would make anything that had happened okay. No words could ever comfort her or change what happened. Donna becoming irritated by the silence finally broke it. "Did you guys make all your final decisions for the wedding?"
Mike shook his head in disbelief that their wedding was still her priority when she was lying in a hospital bed. "We ended up going with the band."
"That's exactly what I would've picked," she explained, a smile gracing her face at the thought of dancing to the band's music in the future. Or better yet, dancing with Harvey to the band's melodies.
She always told everyone that he was the best dancer she knew, everyone except him, of course. There was no need to make his head any bigger than it already was. Even if she never told him, he always knew. She would follow his lead anytime he offered his hand. They made quite the duo on the dance floor. It was always natural with them.
The nurse abruptly interrupted the group's reunion. "I'm sorry, everyone. Miss Paulsen needs her rest now and I'm going to be giving her a steroid that will most likely knock her out for the next couple of hours."
Donna swallowed at the nurse's word choice. The woman was unaware of what she had just said, but she couldn't have realized. And then it happened. The memories flashed over her as she tightened her eyes shut. All of a sudden, she was back in that room again with Gallo. It was like it was happening all over again. The frustration she felt trying to release herself from her restraints, the throbbing pain coming from the back of her head, and even the smell of her blood that had stained her dress. It was all so real. She could see Gallo charging towards her again. The tears were streaming down her face as she called out for help and then her eyes opened at his touch.
"Donna, it's me. I'm right here, it's Harvey." He was sitting at her bedside with his hands on her shoulders. She had just been imagining it all. Mike, Rachel and Louis watched from outside the room, her friend crying into her fiancé's chest. Harvey looked back at the nurse. "I'm not leaving her like this. You can give her the damn drugs, but I'm staying."
The nurse accepted defeat and administered the drugs to her. Donna watched Harvey while he stroked her hair, his eyes locked with hers. "Everything is alright. I promise I'm not going anywhere," he continued to whisper as her eyes slowly began to melt closed. "I'll be right here when you wake."
As she tried to hang onto his every word, the pain drifted off along with her.
…
The week was going by quickly for her. She was constantly in and out of consciousness the entirety of the week. He had kept his promise to her, he hadn't moved once. She managed to witness a few encounters Harvey had, had with Mike and Rachel, but each time he refused to listen to them. They both wanted him to go home and change or sleep or shower, but he wouldn't move. His face was starting to get scruffy and the bags were starting to show under his eyes from lack of sleep. She was worried about him, but she hardly had the energy to tell him.
…
The last day of the week had arrived and she was finally starting to feel energized again. Harvey had succumbed to his exhaustion and was asleep on her leg when she woke, his hand intertwined in hers. The feeling she got when his skin touched hers was like no other. She continued to watch his chest rise and fall, admiring how peaceful he looked. It was the first time he had looked so at ease in a week. She lifted her free hand and gently grazed the top of his head, allowing her fingers to brush through his hair. It wasn't her touch that had disturbed his slumber, but the doctor who had entered the room.
His head quickly shot up at the sound of Doctor Barns' voice, his hand losing contact with hers. She missed his warmth the second it had disappeared.
"Good afternoon. I'm sorry to disturb you both, but we have some good news. The tests we ran this morning all came back clear," the doctor explained, smiling as he finished.
"So, what does that mean?" She questioned.
The doctor looked over at Harvey as he prepared to answer her question. "It means as soon as we get the paperwork signed, you can take her home."
He quickly shot up from the chair, clearly still disoriented from only just waking up moments ago. He ran over to the doctor and quickly shook his hand once again. Once he was finished thanking the man who had saved her life, he leaned over the bed and excitedly placed a kiss on her forehead. His hand carefully slid down her face, cupping her cheek as he stared into her beautiful eyes. "Let's get you home, Paulsen."
"Not so fast. There are conditions to your release. We would prefer someone to be with Miss Paulsen at all hours of the day, at least for the next two weeks."
He still hadn't broken eye contact with her, still rubbing his finger on her cheek. "She can stay with me."
She had barely even realized what he had just said. Once she had, she began to panic. There was no way she could stay with him. What would happen when she tried to bring up what he had said at her apartment again and he can't tell her? She would have nowhere to run. She would be stuck and forced to watch as he continued to break her heart again and again. "I don't know if that's a good idea," she mumbled. "I think I should stay at my apartment."
His face quickly went from happy to confused in an instant. "Why? There's an extra bedroom at my place and I can-"
Donna interrupted, "I think it's better this way. I can ask my mom to come stay with me. I haven't even called my parents to tell them what happened yet."
"I'm sorry, I should have done that. I just wanted to wait until we had good news to tell them," he sighed. "How about we all take turns watching you at your place? I'm sure Rachel, Mike, and Louis wouldn't mind that. Don't make your parents come all the way down here to watch you when we all already have it covered. Please, let me do this for you," Harvey begged.
Harvey Specter knew exactly what he was doing. She could never say no to him when he got like this. While her body was telling her to decline his offer, the words that came out of her mouth next did not follow that directive. "Okay, I'll let you all babysit me," she proclaimed, accepting defeat.
"I'll call Rachel to let her know what's going on and I'll also give Ray a heads up. He should be able to get the car here soon. Thank you again Doctor Barns." Harvey swiftly made his way out of the room to complete his calls.
…
Harvey was right about Ray's speed. He was there to pick them both up within ten minutes of her signing the release papers. Another condition for her being let out of the hospital was that she had to allow someone to wheel her outside. Harvey was more than happy to take on the role. When she finally reached the door, the second the air hit her face she felt alive again. Harvey swiftly guided her wheelchair to the car, where he was careful in getting her safely situated in the vehicle. He ran around to the other side, taking a seat next to her.
"It is so great to see you, Miss Paulsen," Ray cheered.
Donna reached her hand out, placing it on his shoulder. "Thank you, Ray. Not just for saying that, but for what you did. Harvey told me if it weren't for you making a call to the police that night, I wouldn't be here talking to you right now. I can't say thank you enough."
Ray looked back at Donna in his rearview mirror and gave her a nod. After that, they were off.
…
The drive to her apartment felt so strange. She had only been in the hospital for a week, yet she felt as though she didn't recognize anything. These were the same streets she always drove down, but to her, they weren't. She felt like she was in a foreign country. Nothing was familiar to her anymore. She hadn't even realized they were at her apartment when they came to a stop.
Harvey was quick to get to her side of the car and opened her door promptly. He carefully reached down to help her out of her seat, allowing his arm to reach around her hip while placing her arm over his shoulder gently. "Is this okay?" he asked nervously.
She nodded, giving him the okay to proceed. They cautiously made their way into her apartment building. The elevator ride up was filled with silence, neither of them knowing what to say in that moment. She could feel his eyes on her as they waited to reach her floor. She could feel his breath giving warmth to her neck as his hand pulled her closer to him. The feeling of his touch sent her to another realm.
She was brought back to reality when the elevator doors opened, arriving at her floor. They made their way to her door and he carefully leaned her against the wall while he unlocked her door. As the door swung open, the sight before her was not what she was expecting.
Everything was almost back to normal. Her pictures were hanging on the wall again. The carpet didn't have a stain in sight. It was almost as if what happened to her, never happened. She wished that was the case, but even though it didn't look like a reminder, her apartment still was. It triggered all of the memories from that night again, nearly taking all the breath out of her lungs. Her breathing became unsteady as flashes of that night entered her mind. She hadn't even noticed her body had started shaking as she slid down the hallway wall into a sitting position. Her knees inched closer to her chest, allowing her body to curl into a ball.
Harvey instantly bent down next to her as he noticed her state. "Are you okay? What's wrong?"
She was snapped back to the present when she heard his voice. "I'm fine. I just wasn't expecting it to look like that," she mumbled, allowing her eyes to look back at her apartment.
"Louis sent someone over to… I'm sorry I should've told you," he shook his head as the words left his mouth, letting his gaze fall to the ground.
Donna placed her hand on his chin and lifted his face until his eyes met hers. They stayed there for a moment, letting their eyes do the talking, saying everything their mouths couldn't. He got lost in her eyes, searching them for something. He wasn't sure what.
"Could you help me up?" she asked, ending their moment.
He let out a breathless 'yes' as he grabbed one hand and scooped his other around her back. As she reached her feet, the two were mere inches away from each other's face, her eyes staring straight ahead at his lips. This time it was him who broke the interaction, turning to face her apartment. She brushed it off and continued to follow him inside.
They made their way over to the couch where he carefully placed her down. He took a seat next to her, placing his arm on the couch behind her. "Do you want to talk about what you saw back there?"
She let out a loud sigh before answering. "I don't, but I feel like I should. It's just… I don't want to keep reliving it, but it keeps happening. The memories come flooding into my head, and I can't stop it. It's like I'm drowning in them. No matter how hard I try to keep them out, they just keep coming back." She closed her eyes, trying to hold the tears inside. "I'm sorry."
"Hey," he interjected, placing his hand on her back. "You have nothing to apologize for. You didn't do this. What happened to you was my fault, not yours."
"What?" she rebuffed. "Harvey, this is not your fault. You didn't do this to me, Gallo did. He would've killed me if it wasn't for you. I don't ever want to hear you say that again," she clarified, still in shock from his words.
His eyes had fallen to the ground once again. Harvey was clearly frustrated with himself for everything that happened, noticing him tense up before replying. "But, if I didn't provoke him, none of this would've happened."
"You did the right thing, Harvey. Just because Frank did something terrible, doesn't mean what you did was any less honorable. You put a bad man away. If what happened to us doesn't convince you of that, I don't know what will," Donna confessed.
Harvey finally was able to make eye contact with her again. He was visibly struggling with accepting the fact that this wasn't his doing. It was his job to protect her, he had convinced himself of that a long time ago. He never wanted to let anything bad happen to her, and yet it did.
Gallo was absolutely right when he said that Donna was his everything. She was the person he couldn't live without. The only person he would put above himself. He would take a bullet for her. For the first time in thirteen years, he finally understood why.
"Donna, about that night. There's something I want to talk to you about. I started to mention it at the hospital, but I couldn't find the right words to say it," he drifted off.
"To say what?" she inquired.
"Knock, knock! Guess who stopped at that shitty Thai place you love?" Rachel's voice echoed throughout the hallway. Donna jumped at the sound of her voice. "I'm sorry, did I scare you? I texted you I was coming over, but no one answered their phones."
Harvey quickly stood up from his seat and nervously looked over at Rachel. "Well, I guess you got it from here."
"Harvey, what about-"
"I'll come back later," he interrupted. "Enjoy the food."
Donna watched as the man she loved, once again, ran away from his feelings.
I hope you guys liked this chapter. It was a lot longer than all the others, which is also why it took so long. I'll try to have the next chapter out a lot quicker this time. If you enjoyed, please don't forget to leave your reviews! Xx