We're back! Thank you guys for being so patient with me and still showing so much interest in this story. We are nearing the end and I think I never want to get there. I hope you guys enjoy this chapter!

Making his way out of her apartment, he was reminded of one thing: the second he closed that door, he would be shutting it on them, on any chance of Harvey and Donna. How many times was he allowed to run away from his feelings before she would give up on him? He truly was pushing the limit with this time, but he prayed that maybe she didn't even realize what he was about to talk to her about or at least, was trying to talk about. To ease his mind, Harvey had convinced himself that she hadn't had a clue what he was attempting to explain to her. It was Donna though, of course she knew.

For some reason, he thought she heard him. That night when she was slowly fading away from him in his arms, the moment he confessed every feeling he had ever felt for her, he figured she had heard it all. But seeing her face tonight when he attempted to bring it up, he knew she didn't. Or maybe she did, and she just didn't feel the same way for him.

Harvey Specter loved Donna Paulsen, plain and simple. There were so many ways to tell her that, but he could never find one. Maybe for Harvey Specter, no word would ever be good enough. No words could even begin to describe the love he had for her. She was Donna and he was Harvey, and to him, that meant something. He understood how important that was. It wasn't every day that someone walked into your life and got you, especially for him. With all of his baggage and flaws, she still accepted him. Deep down he knew all the right things he could say, but they were never enough, and he couldn't risk it. He had already said the wrong things once and he lost her because of that. There was no way he would ever let that happen again.

So, he loved from afar, effortlessly and endlessly, hopelessly and devotedly, forever. However, forever would have to wait because the door was still closing, but maybe there was hope for them.

Frustration kicked in as he entered the elevator, wishing he had stayed or that he turned back, wondering why he left in the first place. He needed to blow off some steam and there was only one person he could do that with.

When he got in the car, he told Ray where to go and quickly made a call.

…

Rachel had made Donna's living room into the dining room by the time she was through. Knowing her friend needed to rest, she made sure nothing would strain her. "Your ass is not leaving this couch unless you are going to bed," Rachel barked.

"Um, Rach?" Donna questioned. "While I'm grateful you care so deeply about my well-being, if I have to go to the bathroom, I'm going."

Both girls broke out into hysterics. It was a nice break from the seriousness that had overwhelmed their lives over the past week. "Oh, my goodness! Of course, you can. I'm sorry, I've officially turned into my mother," she stopped to take a breath before continuing. "I've just been so worried about you and now my mind is all over the place." She buried her face into her hands, quickly in embarrassment. The stress from everything that had happened shook everyone to their core.

Donna watched the happiness they had both been feeling moments ago erase from her face. The seriousness of what her friend had just mentioned took over her whole being. While they had always been light and playful with one another, Donna soon realized that what had happened to her affected more than just her.

"And I love you for that, but I don't want you to worry," she explained as she gave her friend's arm a light squeeze. While Donna's gesture was meant to comfort her, the look on Rachel's face said that it didn't do that. Rachel was more worried than Donna's mother was on the opening night of her first play in elementary school. Life or death was definitely a lot more serious than whether or not she would remember her lines, but she just wished there was something she could do that would ease her mind. It was affecting them; they weren't the same because of what had happened to her.

She knew that her friend wouldn't be able to fully understand without some sort of explanation. As hard as it was for Donna to talk about, her friend was worth it. "He took something from me that night," she paused, her breath hitching as she thought about what she was going to say next. "And I'm never going to get it back. I will always have this memory now, tormenting me whenever it chooses. But he's already taken so much from me, and I don't want our fun-loving relationship to be part of that, too. I don't want him to affect us because I don't want him to take anything else from me. He's taken enough."

"I'm so-" she drifted off, noticing Donna's eyes practically burning a hole through her. It wasn't what she wanted to hear anymore, and she finally realized it. "It won't, I promise. But what do you mean that he's taken enough?"

Her eyes closed hearing her friend's words. Her mind wandered off again to that night, like it always did. This time she was able to fight back to the present. "There's a part of me that will never be the same. I think I've finally accepted that, but that night he ruined something for not only me," she whispered.

"For Harvey?" Rachel interjected.

Donna allowed her eyes to find the floor, searching for some way to explain something she hadn't even fully understood. "The night it all happened, Harvey was so emotional. I mean, who wouldn't be when a crazy man was pointing a gun at your coworker?"

Rachel tilted her head to the side. "You know you're a lot more than a coworker to him."

"I know. I especially know now."

A look of curiosity appeared on Rachel's face. "What do you mean by that?"

Donna had led them to this moment. While she wasn't sure she wanted to talk about it, she knew she needed to because Harvey still wasn't. There was no more waiting for him to decide when it was okay to finally discuss the one thing that had been on her mind more than the attack. "Once the police arrived, I was barely conscious, but I was still decently aware of what was happening around me," she paused to take a sip of water. "I heard him."

"You heard him what?"

"Say he loved me," she stated bluntly. "God, I've waited years to hear those words from him, to know that he was capable of feeling that way about another person. But, no matter how badly I wanted to hear those words come out of his mouth, I don't know if I wanted to hear it that way. He was practically forced to say it because he probably thought I was taking my last breath in his arms. Gallo took that moment from us and now it's tainted."

Her friend was still in shock from learning about all of this. "Wow, I can't believe you heard all of that."

"I kind of wish I hadn't. There's a part of me that is glad I did, but something about learning it the way I had to hurts. Maybe it wouldn't have bothered me if he talked to me about it after I woke up, but every time I think he's tried to, he just goes back to his old ways. The only way to make sense of all of it, is that it was just a heat of the moment thing," she confessed, defeated by the realization. Of course, she didn't want to believe any of what she had just said, but how could she not?

It was one thing for her to know that he wasn't ready for a relationship with her, but to know that he was capable of having all of those feelings for her and did, made it impossible to breathe anymore. Donna always thought she knew everything about everyone, and for years she convinced herself that he didn't feel that way about her, but now she was well-aware of his feelings and he still couldn't say it to her. He has said plenty of things in the heat of the moment to her before, but what made this time any different? The only reason he hadn't taken what he said back yet, was because he thought she didn't hear him.

"I know it might seem that way, but the Harvey Specter I saw in the waiting room was not the same one you're describing now. I don't want to speak for him or assume anything, but I think you should consider giving him a chance to explain. I know finding the right words hasn't been his strong suit but believe me when I say that he has found them. Maybe he just needs a little push to get there," Rachel explained, smiling to prove that she fully believed it.

While Donna's face didn't agree with Rachel, her heart did.

…

He watched as the bartender placed the burger down in front of him, taking a sip of his fourth McCallan before allowing himself to dig in. Harvey was in his own personal heaven and yet, he still felt like crap. After the week he had been having, the drinks were well needed. It was the only thing that helped him calm down, that and seeing her.

"Hey, that's no fair. Why do you get your burger first?" Mike whined, envious of the good-looking food next to him.

Harvey nearly choked on his drink as he laughed at his friend. It was the first real laugh he had since the attack. "People like me better, I guess. I'm also way better looking," he scoffed. The alcohol was definitely starting to hit Harvey now.

"Yeah, for a sixty-year old man, you look great!" Mike mumbled, forgetting their conversation as he noticed his food arrived. "Now this is pure happiness," he swiftly added before giving Harvey the chance to reply.

Harvey was envious of how carefree his friend was. Meanwhile, his mind was racing a thousand miles a minute. He hated how he left things with Donna, but for some reason he felt like it wasn't right for him to tell her then. Rachel interrupting them gave him time to think about what he wanted to say. He was always saying the wrong things, and this allowed him to find the perfect words to explain to her what he's been wanting to since the day he met her.

"You okay there? I figured when you called to get burgers there was more to the story," Mike inquired, while wiping his hands off with his napkin.

Harvey attempted to wrap his head around the question. Was he okay? How could he be when the woman he loved was nearly beaten to death? Not to mention the fact that she nearly died not knowing how he really felt about her. And the reason for all of those things happening, was because of him. The center of all the terrible things happening to the one person he wanted to protect from the world, was him. "Everything that has happened has just been a lot to process, I guess."

"I'm sure it has been. It's not easy to see someone you care about, hurting," Mike proclaimed.

"I wasted so much time over the years, you know," Harvey answered, not even noticing what Mike had said prior. "I've been so blind to my emotions; I couldn't access them. It's like I turned it all off for so long. All these years I've slept around and ignored everything that was happening around me. I even went to a therapist to attempt to figure them out and instead of running towards what was right in front of me, I went off and dated Paula. But, when I saw Donna lying there that night, it all hit me. I knew Paula wasn't the one."

"Because Donna is?" Mike interjected.

Harvey's eyes shot over to Mike. Not needing a second to think about his friend's question, he replied, "Yeah, she is. And she deserves to know it."

"So why haven't you told her yet?" he questioned.

A look of defeat appeared over his face. "I'm- I… I'm afraid," Harvey cracked, disappointment washed over him. "She's different. I can't risk saying the wrong thing to her. I can't lose her again. You saw what the thought of losing her almost did to me. You also witnessed first-hand what happened when she went to work for Louis. I'm worried I'm not enough."

Mike was baffled by the words coming out of his friend's mouth. He had never heard the great Harvey Specter ever doubt himself like this before. On the other hand, he also had never heard him share his feelings like this before. "Are you kidding me? You could say all the wrong things and that still wouldn't change the fact that she is in love with you."

Hearing those words nearly caused Harvey to choke on his burger. "She's what? Mike, you don't know what you're talking about."

"Yeah, I do. You both are crazy about each other. I saw it the first day I came to work for you. I think I may have even asked another associate why you guys never wore your wedding bands in the office," he chuckled.

"Mike-"

"I'm serious, Harvey. I saw you in that hospital room. If I didn't already know how you felt, that would've given it away in a second. The looks you both exchange with each other give it away. So, if you claim you love her as much as you do, don't let another second go by without telling her how you feel," Mike whispered, his tone almost begging.

"I did. Or at least I thought I did," Harvey let out defeatedly.

Now, his friend was even more confused than before. "What? When?"

"The night of the attack. I thought she could hear me. I still think she might have, which is why I'm even more afraid to tell her now. Maybe she just doesn't feel the same."

Mike wiped his face and threw the napkin onto his empty plate. "Look, if you let your fear take over, you'll never know how she really feels, and you might miss out on the greatest love of your life. Don't lose this one, Harvey," he encouraged, standing up to grab his wallet. "I have some business to take care of before I go home to see my fiancé."

And with that, Harvey watched his friend leave him alone with his thoughts at the bar.

…

"Are you sure you will be okay? I really don't want to leave you alone, but Mike said-"

Donna stopped her before she could continue. "Rachel, it's fine. I texted Harvey already and asked him to come back. I'm sure he will be here any minute. Plus, now that I'm in bed I am not going anywhere."

Rachel reluctantly listened to her friend. She quickly hugged her good-bye and gathered her belongings to leave. Donna watched the clock as it changed from nine o'clock to nine-ten to nine-fifteen.

For the first time since the attack, Donna was alone. While she thought she would be okay, an uneasy feeling washed over her. Squeezing her eyes shut, she attempted to slow her breathing. She didn't want to let the panic take over her once again. The fear of being alone however was so consuming.

The sudden bang on her front door caused her eyes to shoot open. All of the fears she had been trying to contain quickly took over. Her heart was beating out of her chest as she questioned whether or not that was Harvey at her door. Another bang and she let out a slight shriek, her mind no longer in control of her body.

She quietly tip-toed her way to the front door, the vase from her bedside table in hand. As she looked through the peephole on her door, relief flushed her body after seeing his face. Harvey. Why hadn't he just used the key?

As she swung the door open, Harvey tripped forward with it. "What the hell is wrong with you?"

He attempted to find his footing, but it became clear to her very quickly exactly what was wrong. He was drunk. "Don-Donna," he stumbled on every syllable. "Good, you're wake. There's a sumthin' I gotta tell ya." His eyelids were barely open as he tried to search for her eyes.

"You're drunk, Harvey."

"No, no, I'm noooot. Just wanted some liquid courage," he murmured.

Donna's emotions were a mix of pissed-off and concern, but mainly disappointment. She knew exactly what he needed the "courage" for. "I don't want to hear it. You can go sleep on my couch. There's blankets and pillows already out there."

As she turned to walk away, he reached out and grabbed her wrist to pull her back in. "Let go of me, Harvey. I just want to go to bed."

"But, Donna. I have words."

"Please, just let me go," she begged, freeing herself from his grip. "Goodnight, Harvey."

…

The sound of her door slamming shut finally brought Harvey back to their reality. He was losing her.

As he stumbled through her dark apartment, he managed to find his way to the couch. While he laid there on his back, he couldn't help but think about all the ways he has already fucked everything up. He also soon realized how uncomfortable her couch was. The rest of his night would be filled with tossing and turning.

The hours continued to pass and with every minute his disappointment only grew. Lifting his head off the pillow, he looked over at his watch, now sobered up and frustrated with himself. It's three in the morning and he still can't sleep. Knowing how badly he had messed up yet again was eating him alive. No matter what he did, he never could get it right with her. Somehow, he always managed to mess something up. Nothing he ever did was good enough.

As he stared up at her ceiling, losing his mind from all of his terrible thoughts, he heard something. The sound of a vase breaking caught his attention. He whispered, "Donna," checking to make sure everything was okay, but there was no reply. His whisper began to get louder and louder as he continued to call out her name, but there was still nothing.

Panic began to consume him as another shattering sound occurred. He attempted to get up off the couch, but something wasn't allowing him up. Then, he heard it. Donna's screams. She called out for him as he continued to try to get up, but someone was now holding him down. The darkness covered his face, but eventually he managed to make out the figure. It was him. Harvey was stopping himself from getting to her. Her screams continued to grow louder until finally… he woke up.

The dream wasn't real, but her screams were. "Donna," he called out, jolting up from his spot on the couch.

He ran toward her room, and when he entered, he realized that he wasn't the only one in that apartment having a nightmare. He rushed over to her side, grabbing onto her shoulders in an attempt to wake her up. "Donna, wake up. I'm right here. Wake up."

She jumped up to a seated position as she woke. Her whole body was shaking with fear. "Harvey," she whimpered, her breathing unsteady. "I can't-" she clenched her chest as she attempted to form words. Her breathing wasn't calming down, she was beginning to hyperventilate. A mix of sweat and tears dripped down her face, soaking the blanket under her. She squeezed her comforter in her hand, trying to center herself. Nothing was working.

"Donna, look at me," he begged as lifted her chin to find her eyes. "Just breathe and look at me. You are with me, you see." He reached out and took hold of her hand. His touch reminded her how to breathe again, letting the air fill her lungs.

Her eyes slowly shut as her breathing began to regain its rhythm. "Thank god." As the words left her mouth, her arms quickly embraced him.

"It's okay. It was just a dream, I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere." Harvey continued to brush through her hair as he pulled her into him. "I'm so sorry."

As they sat there, Donna's breathing slowly began to normalize again. Neither of them wanted to separate from the other but both knew it was bound to happen. Harvey was the first to pull away. As his arms untangled from her embrace, his hands found their way to her face, cupping her jaw. "Are you okay?"

She was still processing what that meant for her now, being okay. Would she ever be okay again? "I am now."

"I'm so sorry for the way I came back before," he whispered.

"Harvey, you don't-"

"No, Donna I do. It wasn't fair for me to do that," he explained. "I should leave you alone."

"No, you shouldn't," she reached out her hand, grabbing hold of his thigh. "Why? Why did you have to come back like that?"

A heavy sigh released from his body. "The truth is, ever since that night, I've been afraid. I thought I was going to lose you. I watched as you were bleeding out in my arms and there was nothing I could do about it," he swallowed, gathering his strength back after reliving those memories again. "I've always told you that I'd never let anything happen to you, but I did."

The tears began to swell in her eyes. "Harvey, you didn't. It was not your fault. You saved me. If you never came here, I wouldn't be sitting here talking to you right now."

His finger brushed along her cheek, wiping away her tears. "You are the person I care about most in this world. I can't believe it took this all happening for me to finally understand that... I love you. It took me so long to tell you because I didn't think anything I could say would be good enough to deserve you. You deserve way better than me. But the thing is, you make me want to be the best possible version of myself, for you. I want to be able to give you everything because you are my everything."

Donna stayed still, in awe of the man before her and disbelief of the words coming out of his mouth. "You are so deserving, Harvey. You just won't let yourself see that. You are a great man, and that's what made me fall in love with you."

Just like that, every fear that he once had was gone. Before he could respond, even in the dark, his lips still found hers. Every emotion that they both had been concealing for all of those years melted into their kiss. Everything finally fell into place.

As the passion between them grew, Harvey laid Donna back. He quickly found his way to her neck and her pulse point, giving every inch of her the attention she deserved. She was intoxicated by his touch, the need to feel every part of him overwhelmed her.

Suddenly she was brought back to reality as she pulled away from him. "Harvey, we can't," she paused. "Well, I can't. Not yet at least."

Disappointment consumed his body hearing her words. "Oh," he let out.

"Not because I don't want to. Because trust me I want to, but I'm not fully healed yet, and I want to be at one hundred percent when this happens," she teased, trying to make their situation better with a joke.

"Come here," he insisted as he wrapped his arms around her once more. "I waited twelve years for you, I can wait a few more weeks. Even though they will be the hardest weeks of my life, I will suffer for you."

I hope this chapter lived up to all your expectations. If not, let me know in the reviews!