" Everybody happy now?"

Mike just wanted to crawl in a corner and disappear for a few thousand years. The girl looked embarrassed and extremely upset. She got up to leave as soon as he said that.

That went well.

Her dad followed her out of the room.

"Tell me what happened Michael."

Mike explained how he lost two lunches, his bagged lunch and yesterday's lunch. "I barfed it out on his shoes."

"Another boy dislocated your shoulder?" The doctor said. "That should be reported."

"I'm going to report that little shit." His mom said, and got up to go see Chief Hopper.

The girl came back into the room.

Mike told her. "Mom knows everything now. I'm so screwed. I lost my lunch, no biggie, but I don't know where my backpack is, I have all my new books in it. That asshole Troy probably destroyed it and my bike."

Mike was surprised when she said, "I grabbed your backpack, and gave it to Dustin to put in his locker. And I have your bike. My dad put it in the back of his truck."

That's why he's here. "You're El Hopper. Max was going to be introducing us today. I didn't know he was your dad. Thanks, now if I can only convince my mom not to talk to the principal, I may live through the school year."

"I think my dad is talking to her about that." She had a neutral look on her face.

What is it about her? She's pretty, I think I already like her, but she seemed really upset when I told everyone in the room she was pretty.

"I'm sorry you had to get involved with that. I don't know why he doesn't bother Dustin or Lucas anymore. Wherever the hell they are right now." Mike was stumped. They hadn't been picked on all summer, and so far not even in school.

El changed the subject by saying, "They are getting measured for suits. You don't need to be sorry Mike."

"Suits? What the hell for… oh. Yeah. Snowball." Mike laughed.

"You're not going?"

"That would be a no."

"I think I know why Troy doesn't pick on them. Suzie and Max are usually always around. I think he's scared of Max. But it's not that, I don't think he picks on boys with girlfriends." Mike smiled to himself, she brought the topic back to what concerned him the most.

"That's a back asswards way to impress a girl. Doesn't do me any good though."

"You don't have a girlfriend?"

Mike was startled, he didn't move, but the realization that he would go through another school year without one hit him right in the heart.

"No." Cat's out of the bag now.

Mike kept silent. Now she just knows how much of a loser I really am.

"Mike? I could be like, your pretend girlfriend? That way Troy might leave you alone?"

Pretend girlfriend? Great, she's being nice, her dad probably talked her into so she could be a witness next time I got the shit kicked out of me. I guess she's not interested in me. Well, that's not a surprise. Pretty girls haven't been. Prettiest girl in the school definitely not going to be. Still, if it would save him from getting punched again.

Mike nodded slowly, "That could actually work." He hated to say the next part, "I mean, you wouldn't have to kiss me or anything, I wouldn't ask you to do that, but if we are seen together, and maybe hold hands so the right people see us… yeah. Yeah, that could work."

Holding hands with her, Mike thought. That would be nice. But pretend? No chance of going with her to the Snowball. For a few seconds I thought she was flattered that I called her pretty and I might actually get to ask her. No. It's only going to be pretend. Shit. No lips will be harmed during the pretending.

Uh, wait a sec. What if she already has a boyfriend? I better let her know she can back out, she doesn't have to do this.

"I mean, um, if that's ok with you? I wouldn't want your boyfriend to punch me, or anything. That's Troy's job."

"I don't have a boyfriend Mike." She looked sad again. Sad and pretty.

Oh my God. She's beautiful.

"Oh, ok then. Um. Ok!" Mike tried to sound enthusiastic, maybe help cheer her up.

And then a nagging problem hit him.

"Uh, um, have you heard of the party rules?"

"You are worried about the Friends Don't Lie rule. We don't have to tell them."

"We can't tell them. We, well, me really… I can't take the chance someone will blab it out accidentally. So… it's going to have to look like we are going out. Sorry El."

"Don't say sorry Mike, this is for your safety, I don't mind doing it. It might even be fun." But she didn't smile when she said that. She just looked kind of sad.

She just said that. She's not going to find it fun. She's just saying that. She doesn't look happy about it at all. I don't blame her. Not sure I'd want to go with me either. Not even pretending to. Well, I'll try to make it not suck too much.

"Shit. I just thought of something."

El raised her eyebrows at him waiting for him to continue.

"I'm right handed."

She looked at the protective sling on his shoulder. "I've already thought of the logistics."

"Did you just say logistics?" Mike's eyes opened wide.

"Yes. Do you know what it means?"

"Well, yes, I'm just surprised you know what it means… uh… you know… um… uh… for being a girl."

"Mike." She said her voice slightly condescending. "Girls are smart too you know."

"Sorry, I mean, it's not a word you hear girls saying… like… ever."

"I have a good vocabulary. I've read at least three dictionaries."

Mike smiled at her. "You are a fascinating girl, El Hopper. It's going to be more interesting being your pretend boyfriend than I thought."

He looked down, "I'm sorry for all this El. I just don't want to be hurt again like that."

"Mike, I understand."

Maybe, he thought. But I think my heart's going to be hurt a lot more than my shoulder is right now.

"Ok, so logistics?"

"Your mom and I already talked to our teachers, they are ok with me copying notes for you. You are excused from gym class. My dad will pick us up every morning and take us to school. Your mom knows how embarrassed you'd be being spoon fed. So you get to take your meals in the basement, and I will feed you." Her face turned crimson, matching his own.

"I didn't think of any of that. I'm never going to be able to thank you or your dad."

"You don't need to thank us Mike."

I do. I don't know how, but I will. I promise you El. He didn't tell her that out loud though. He would make it to her and her dad.

She looked so sad. Mike wanted to hug her and tell her it was ok. He decided to give her a change to not do anything.

"Don't get mad at me El. I mean, I appreciate everything you are doing for me. But if you really don't want to it's ok. It really is."

"Mike, you are a Party member in need of assistance. I can provide that." She smiled at him. A genuine warm smile that made Mike dizzy, made his heart race, made him want to jump up and down, made him want to laugh, to cry, and shout out.

And then something totally unexpected happened to Mike Wheeler.

He fell in love with El Hopper.