Chapter Eight "To Err is Cumin; To Forgive, Endive" Burger:

On Thanksgiving weekend, Louise posted up Bob's Burgers 2.0 in the OMG Mall parking lot. She did this for three days, until enough loitering complaints were called in by food court employees that Officer Cliffany was sent down from the precinct to shoo her away.

Louise shrugged, drove home, and counted the healthy stack of cash she'd made. If she didn't have to hang around the mall, so much the better. She didn't have to run the risk of seeing people like Logan Bush out in the wild.

It was a rare sighting that certainly didn't bring Louise's guilt back to a boiling fester. There was nothing for her to feel guilty about anyway, so when she saw Logan walking into the mall and her throat tightened, it must have just been allergies.

November rolled into late December. A few days before Christmas, Louise was basking in the success of another semester closer to a business degree. She was not basking in the knowledge that Tina was dragging her to do last minute Christmas shopping.

Linda and Bob always insisted they wanted nothing, Gene always insisted he needed something.

If not for Tina, Louise would have put Christmas shopping off until the following year.

Last year, Louise had told everyone their gift was in the mail. The Belchers were still waiting for those gifts to be delivered.

The sisters were at Flash in the Pan looking for a gift for Bob, the final stop of the arduous shopping journey. Tina knew if Louise was going to put effort into anyone's gift, it was going to be Bob's. She wouldn't rush her sister.

The bell over the door rang as two tall, well dressed blondes walked in. Louise looked up from the spatula display. Her eyes landed on Logan and Cynthia. The dam holding back the festering reservoir of guilt was beginning to crack. Louise walked to the opposite end of the store, not looking behind her at Logan's sad, pathetic face. Trying to ensure the dam would stay in place.

But of course Cynthia would feel the need to stop Tina and ask her how her mother was doing.

"I haven't seen her since the Turkey Tail Mixer!" Cynthia exclaimed.

More cracks formed in the dam.

Louise found herself wondering if Cynthia and Linda had truly buried the hatchet or if faux friendship was a tenuous phase some women went through with age. The ages between new moms criticizing each other's parenting and the age when your kids finally tossed you in a nursing home to rot.

Logan did his best to not look directly at her either, keeping his back to her as he walked up to the counter, asked for a package, and waited impatiently for Cynthia by the door with his grandmother's gift tucked under his arm as his mother chatted up the older Belcher daughter.

Logan stood with shoulders slouched and an uneasy look on his face. Once he'd seen Louise, it was like he was a scared child and she was the monster under the bed.

Logan standing there like a pathetic golem was unnerving for Louise. He hadn't called her "Smellcher" once since he'd walked in. He hadn't glared. He hadn't approached her under the pretense that he was the changed and mature version of his former bully self.

He never did any of these things. Not when she picked up a nice and heavily discounted Fukinawa knife from the display. A knife she could already see Bob chopping onions with. Not when she checked out at the register. Not when she stood behind Tina, who was still being talked at by Cynthia.

Louise stayed with her back to the front door. She didn't look at Logan directly, but caught him out of the corner of her eye. He was looking down at his shiny loafers.

This was not Logan Bush she knew.

She'd thought she'd felt bad before.

She really was the monster under the bed.

Tina drove Louise home and did wise to keep her mouth shut about Cynthia and Logan Bush.

Louise staged all the gifts in the food truck, along with the portable space heater she'd splurged on for herself. She prepped in the restaurant kitchen, where it was warm, then she loaded her inventory into the food truck after grabbing some festive wrapping paper from the basement.

Louise sold a few burgers, but spent most of her night reading A Night to Zomb-member by T. R. Belcher.

Between burgers and zombies, Louise had wrapped most of the gifts. When she got to the beautiful, discounted Fukinawa knife, she should have savored wrapping it. It was the perfect gift.

But her mind was in other places.

Louise set the knife box down and shot a quick text message. She got into the driver's seat before she could change her mind.

Stupid Christmas.

Louise parked the truck a few inches from the sidewalk. Trying not to get stuck on the curb in the cold weather. Unlike a certain ice cream truck the Belcher siblings had once taken a joyride in with their slow, but well meaning baby sitter.

Louise started up the grill and made a to-go box. She locked up her truck and marched into the Lucky Lizard, trying to convince herself it wasn't too late to just turn around and leave as she walked toward the bar.

"You're not supposed to bring outside food in here."

"Well they let you in, didn't they? And you're basically soggy leftovers."

Logan grimaced at her. Louise took a seat on a barstool next to him and slid the to-go box in front of him.

"What's wrong with it? Did you drop it on the ground or something? Spit in it?" he asked, shoulders hunched up close to his ears.

"No. It's just for your troubles," Louise mumbled.

Logan appraised the container, "It's in an actual box. Not foil. You're really trying, aren't you?"

"I've restructured my business model. Are you gonna eat the fucking food or not?"

"You're trying to buy my forgiveness with food?"

"You can't forgive someone who doesn't apologize. And I don't remember apologizing for anything."

"Funny, because that's kind of what this looks like."

"Well get your eyes checked, Fuckface."

"Fuckface? I love it when you call me cute names," he said acidly.

"Suck my taint."

Logan rolled his eyes, "Why did you ask me to meet you here if you're just gonna be a dick the whole time? Not that I really should have expected anything else. Like, maybe a real apology?"

"I'm not here to apologize."

Logan opened up the to-go box and took a big bite of the "Yule Get Logged Burger." The Bob's Burgers 2.0 Christmas special.

He moaned dramatically into the burger. Drawing attention from the few other patrons. "Oh, this burger, it's just so, so good," he said in a breathy voice.

"Marry the stupid thing then," Louise grumbled.

"Why buy the cow if you can get the beef for free," Logan snorted as he continued to make a show of devouring the burger. "Plus with your four ears, I'm sure you can hear me even better."

"I can't believe I tried to do something nice. I tried to apologize, but you're the most annoying person that was ever born."

"Apologize? Are you, now?" Logan asked, feigning incredulity.

"It was hypothetical."

"I still haven't heard you say the words 'I'm sorry.' And I'm not sure I forgive you. The burger is a start, though."

"Well what do you want? I need to get this off my damn conscience. I don't do the feeling guilty thing."

"Okay," he said, swiveling on his barstool to face her. "I want a truce."

"Wow, you're funny."

"I'm being serious."

"Sure," Louise rolled her eyes and traced her finger along the wooden countertop of the bar. She felt in her back pocket for her Ears, overcome by the sudden urge to make sure they were still there. Especially in close proximity to sneaky Logan.

"What do you want? A blood pact to prove I'm not lying?"

"I'm saving my blood and spit for my Honeymoon."

"Look, I tried to come up with a revenge plan. I'll admit it. But honestly the best I got was TPing your food truck or stealing all the hubcaps. I'm just not that creative."

"You can't play in the big leagues. We already knew that."

"You're enjoying the teasing, aren't you? Making people feel bad about themselves, it's your thing, right?" his tone went from level to acerbic.

"I've accepted who I am," Louise shrugged. Logan began to dig into the gravy soaked poutine.

"Well, I don't feel like playing games, Smellcher," he said.

"Duh. You looked like a wounded bird when I saw you earlier today and now you're all cocky. What's up with that?"

"You texted me. Which means you feel guilty. I'm not being cocky, I'm pissed. So, if you're going to apologize, do it already."

"I don't feel guilty."

"That's a huge fucking lie. You just admitted to having a guilty conscience that you 'can't live with.' Can't take it back now," Logan popped another fry into his mouth. "So, truce?"

"Stop toying with me. What's the catch?"

"There is no 'catch.' I really don't have an evil plan." Louise grimaced at him as he ate another gravy soaked fry. "The fact that you don't believe me and it's driving you crazy is kinda doing it for me, though." Logan gave her an impish smile.

"I was two taps away from ruining your whole life and you're just going to let all this blow over?"

"You make it sound a little dramatic, but essentially, yeah."

"So that's it? You try to ruin my business. I pretend to almost ruin your life. Hatchet buried. We go our separate ways? End of story?"

"I love how hard it is for you to accept this," the smile that stretched across Logan's face was evidence enough that he was able to find some humor in the situation.

"I'm going to go outside and my truck is going to have a flaming bag of shit through the windshield, isn't it?" Louise stood up and reached into her pocket to put her Ears on.

"You don't have to go yet. Last call is still thirty minutes away." Louise flashed Logan a suspicious look. "Relax, I'm not trying to get you drunk."

"Why stay?" she asked.

"It's not really a truce if we don't try for a clean slate, is it? Especially if you haven't really apologized." he said. Louise, after another moment of hesitation, took her seat.

"Coffee. Just sugar. Lots of sugar."

"Gross."

"Says the guy who's drinking his life away everytime I see him."

"You're the one who texted me. Asked me to meet you here at fucking midnight. Plus, I needed a fucking drink to calm my nerves before you showed up."

"Yeah, I was really hoping you wouldn't answer your phone," Louise confessed.

"I was working on a big presentation for New Year's Eve. Huge corporate party. Hot shot client. I would have been up anyway," Logan said.

"Working on a Saturday? Poor, little Big Bush," The bartender set a cup of coffee in front of Louise.

"You really need to stop calling me that."

"This isn't me taking a hand out from you," she glanced down at her coffee. "But you are paying for it. You owe me for the time I am wasting here right now."

"Just to put this in perspective, you're the one who owes me the apology, you fucking sociopath," Logan said, trying to keep his voice even.

"We're going to gloss over this whole 'apology' thing, by the way. This never actually happened."

"If this is so taxing for you, consider your 'not apology' not accepted."

"I just got my coffee. Stop ruining it with all of this talk about apologies," Louise lifted her mug to her mouth.

"Or we could just forget this fucking truce and you can leave," Logan said, anger seeping back into his voice. "Because your word is worth so much more than mine, right?"

He was still sitting to the side, turned toward her.

"That's a low blow," she swiveled around to face him. Their knees touched, but she didn't scoot back in her seat. Logan felt that tingle in his spine again and the warmth in his stomach. He should have backed away, but he didn't.

"It is? You don't want to apologize and you don't seem to think I'm serious about a truce. Maybe you're just not that good of a person, either," he baited.

Louise looked down. The bar was loud, but she didn't hear the music or the commotion.

"I really am sorry," she was still looking down.

Logan sneered, "That might be the fakest thing I've heard all night. You can suck my taint, Smellcher."

Louise took a deep breath and looked up at Logan, "Look, I know what it's like when someone violates your personal space and makes you feel disgusting. I never should have done that to you. It wasn't fair. No one deserves that and I don't want to be that kind of person."

Maybe it was her voice or the look on her face. Maybe Logan was having a good night or was he drunk enough to soften, but something in his eyes changed. The anger was seeping out. "So you are capable of an apology?" he sighed. "You went way too fucking far. Way too far."

"I know. I'm sorry."

"Like I said, the burger was a start."

"Okay," Louise said, she kept her coffee in front of her for a long time, like it was a shield. She turned herself away from Logan and back toward the bar.

They both went quiet.

"What's this crap about you changing your business model?" he asked, clearing his throat and breaking the silence.

"It's a box. Don't get all hot and bothered over it. Now shut it, hearing you talk is making my coffee taste bad."

"Don't think I can do that," Logan smirked.

"Man, your voice is just so grating," Louise said, looking over at him.

"Thanks, I lost the tuning key a while back. Left in some place called Puberty."

Louise took another sip of her coffee. She would have laughed at his joke if she still hadn't felt so hollow and unsure of herself. She seemed to be feeling that way a lot more lately.

"So, this truce?" she asked eventually. "What's it about?"

"I showed up.I gave you a chance to prove you weren't a horrible person. Maybe you could return the favor? That's really what I want out of this."

"Give you a second chance? I don't think I can agree to that."

"You're still here, so I think you already did," Logan said.

Louise sighed and drank the dregs of her coffee. I guess I did.

Louise and Logan held down the bar until last call, making small talk.

When they both walked out of the Lucky Lizard, Louise almost shouted to Logan that she'd had a horrible time, a bold lie she knew would make him crack a grin. Instead she climbed into her truck and drove home.

Logan had almost forgiven Louise. He felt he owed her that much, at least. Owed her forgiveness for all of the shit-awful things he'd done to her when they were kids. Owed her the forgiveness she'd mildly pleaded for.

She'd gone overboard with her retaliation and fifteen-year-old Logan would have hunted her down and tortured her viciously. Adult Logan was willing to give a pass, even if it was fucked up and he knew he shouldn't forgive something like what Louise had done.

Tonight was the most civil they'd ever genuinely been while in the same room as one another. For once he hadn't felt like a freak who'd done her wrong. He was able to look at her without being the guilty one. Would it have been such a bad thing to keep things that way?

He was about to turn around and say something to her. Let her know he was sorry about the past and was willing to forgive her because of history or feelings or poor judgement. Something stupid like that.

Instead of turning around, he kept looking at the sidewalk out ahead of him as he walked home.

Louise felt a little lighter as she drove away. It had nothing to do with making nice with Logan. It was just the weightlessness of being able to do the right thing.

Just that and nothing more.