This kiss had been different. Even she knew it. She could not quite be certain, but the sound that had come from his throat was like something between a whimper and a growl. Elizabeth felt rather than understood that for a small eternity she had been in complete possession of this man who had always towered over her. The sensation was power and intoxication and thrill and delight all competing within her for predominance. He had had his tongue in her mouth for heaven's sake and she had only experienced dizzying rapture. With no prior information with which to proceed she had copied him, only to have his eyes open in shock before closing again, pulling her bonnet off her, discarding it on the forest floor. He broke the kiss only to move his lips to her jaw and throat and her collar bone.
Having lost the battle with reason some time ago, Elizabeth had given herself quite over to sensation and every beat of her heart seemed to be coming from her own breast. She grabbed his hand from her waist and forcefully secured it squarely there. Far from relief, the action only offered further effusive sensation.
She didn't readily notice him freeze as she was quite lost in her own arching sensation. When she did, what she felt was his hand's shaking removal from her person. Squeezing his eyes shut as he wrenced himself away, he turned his back to her. She could see his shoulders rising and falling quickly as she grabbed for the tree behind her to still her own dizziness, gulping in air.
In two steps he had nearly exited the forest clearing they had lately occupied, when Elizabeth had a horrifying realization of what she had done, of what it must have looked like. She had only barely been on speaking terms with the man for just under six months, and now here she was acting just as bawdy as Lydia! Her mind raged 'oh what must he think of me!?' as tears threatened. She reached out toward him "Mr. Darcy!" she exclaimed in a panicked and shaky voice, not knowing how else to follow up the appellation. She needed him to look at her. To see the remorse in her eyes, to know what he was thinking!
He stopped but did not look at her, instead scanning the ground. "Oh" was his only reply. Then after collecting his hat and her bonnet, he quietly whispered "Are we to retreat to formalities now then Miss Elizabeth?" He still would not look her in the eye, but he did do her the service of facing her again.
"NO!" She exclaimed, and her mind reeled with what to say "Yes? If that is what you wish. You should know, I am so sorry! I know how that must have seemed and you must understand that I've never… I can scarce believe that I am capable of that...that.." She was crying now openly, something she never did in front of anyone if she could help it. "I am not like my sister, I...I...do not know what to say, I do not understand myself". Her eyes were closed as she sniffed and pushed the tears away violently. She didn't see him come closer to her.
His hands replaced hers, this time gently wiping the continuous stream from her eyes. He kissed her forehead, and each now swollen eye, so softly eventually resting his forehead on hers. "Lizzy" he said in such a tender whisper. He had maybe called her that two or three times before. "Hush my beautiful wonderful Lizzy" His had made small circles on her back as she began to collect herself against his chest. She could hear his heartbeat under her ear now, and she used the sound to steady her own.
"I would beg you to never believe I think anything but the world of you. If my countenance darkens, nine times out of ten I'm angry at myself. Surely you can see that by now." HIs smile drew up her eyes. "Or maybe not yet, but I swear you will. Give it twenty or so years and I'd wager you will know me better than I know myself". He was learning her language now after so many fraught months. Teasing brought neutrality, levity to the volatility in the atmosphere, that was how she coped. He was rewarded by a shaky chuckle.
When he had stepped back he cupped her cheek to force her to look at him. She had been so afraid to see disgust in his eyes, but they only looked tenderly into her own. Somehow this was more intimate than what she had experienced up against that tree. The blush began in her face but she was fairly sure had reached her toes by the time he smiled at her.
He chuckled again "Anybody seeing that blush could never believe that this has been a common experience for you. Look," he sighed, his brow furrowed and unsure. "I think...I think this is a subject that requires more honesty than propriety. I never want, could never want anything but this...this joy I feel with you." He kissed her fingers at this. Absently she considered never wearing gloves again. "And between my reserve, and your...tendency to assume what I'm thinking," He winked at her to soften this truth, "Well I think we could, against our own desires, break something very precious between us. The settlement papers are signed, the bans have been read two weeks together now. While you are not my wife in the eyes of God yet, the law has us as good as wed. Come let us be honest with each other now. Let us speak of things we are not supposed to speak of, if only to prevent misunderstandings, which is our true besetting sin."
Her tears had dried and her shaking had stopped and the logic of his speech was as convincing as anything, but how did one begin such a conversation? "Sir, I must own that you hold a power of persuasion over me like none I've ever met. I do not wish to be insecure around you, but I have a frank tongue, are you quite sure you want this? It seems highly unusual, though to be fair I do not know many happy marriages, and I do wish ours to be the exception."
"Hang usual, and I know all about your tongue" The innuendo was clear, and had the desired effect of seeing her straightened her shoulders and raise an eyebrow in determination to not be intimidated. This was his glorious Lizzy and he would say anything, do anything to see her with the confidence of Beatrice to his Benedict.
After a long while, she garnered up the nerve to speak. "What were you thinking?"
"What when I started this conversation?" he asked, sounding honestly confused.
"No you obstinate man, when I…. when I…" She glared at him, "forced your hand so to speak".
He opened his mouth, only to shut it again. He looked at the ground, the tree, he followed a birds path in the heavens, opened his mouth again.
"Why Mr. Darcy this was your idea" She had him on the defensive again and she felt more herself then she had since they had set out to enjoy the afternoon sunshine.
"I was…" He stuttered "Here, lets walk, it is easier to walk and talk, that way I don't have to meet your eye." He huffed, held out his arm and she took it as he led her toward a much more open field that ran the barrier between the Longbourne and Netherfield estates.
"Well we are walking now, so?" she prompted. Would her life feel like this forever? This beautiful mix of anticipation and contentment?
"I was...I had nearly convinced myself … Oh! This is harder than I thought it would be. Heaven help me. I was a hair's breadth from grabbing the hem of your dress and pulling it as high as it would go" The words came out in a hurried jumble in a single breath.
To her credit Elizabeth did not trip or stumble at the confession. She too then had to examine the birds arching through the sky, and fence that had a crack here or there, the toe of her boot.
"See! Now what you must think of me! For a very long time I have held myself to a certain standard of behavior, one that I'm afraid looks rather antiquated to many of the upper set, and I'd always thought myself superior; of course this pride surprises you not at all. And here it turns out I'm not more noble or self controlled than any other man, I just had never run into a real temptation! It is quite a blow to my opinion of myself. I should of course get used to the feeling, as you have challenged it since the moment I laid eyes on you."
A laugh bubbled out of her at this. "What I think of you sir is quite fixed, you are the best man I have ever known, and in the spirit of this honesty I will offer you this; I do not believe I would have stopped you. Now who has shocked whom?"
He laughed deeply at that. "Well I guess that was not so hard was it. I'm honestly not shocked, but rather relieved. Can you imagine going into a marriage where one of the exclusive rights is something rather dreaded by one or other party?"
"Unfortunately I can and very briefly did" This brought him up short, a wariness now in his eyes.
"Never after accepting you! No! You may not be privy to this information, but your noble Aunt had sent her parson here bride hunting. And it seemed that I was the poor doe in his sights. He asked me to marry him, and my mother tried to force me to accept. I could not obviously, and although I will own it was a selfish action on my part the idea of being wife to that man made my skin crawl. And then not two days later we have news Charlotte had accepted him. So in the vaguest of terms, and for as little time as I could possibly help it, I did indeed imagine it."
Mr. Darcy was speechless again. She saw the look on his face. He was reviewing the events of the previous November, he was coming to the same conclusion she had all those months ago. If Bingly had stayed and proposed to Jane, Elizabeth would never have had cause to consider such a pugnacious spouse. He had his look of self recrimination blooming on his face.
"Oh no, none of that now. It is past... and Charlotte's problem, and everything is forgiven. You've met Mrs. Collins. The most practical woman in all of England. She knew what she wanted, and found a way to get it. And now I even have news that she is finally to be rewarded by her dearest wish, a child to call her own. I will confess this to you, because of our vow to honesty that such a child has made me believe in the stork again, or the fairy folk, because well it is easier that way."
There he was laughing again, and she loved the sound. It made her braver than any intimidation. "Of course I don't actually believe that storks bring babies into the world, I do live in the country after all and tried breeding all orange kittens once after I read about aristotle's thoughts on heredity, and found it so similar to how horse breeders choose pairings."
He laughed again, not dismissively as so many men had at her in the past, but with delight. "I may love your mind more than anything else about you."
"It is just as well sir, as any beauty I possess will eventually wither and you will still be bound to me. But right now, I think you may be underestimating your appreciation for other features."
"Oh you caught that did you?"
"Its strange, I don't mind being sized up by you as breeding stock" Her hand flew to her mouth. Her eyes wide in total surprise, all the blood leaving her cheeks. His laughter bellowed now.
"Surely I'm not that obvious! And you may be right, maybe it is that mouth of your's" He pulled her in for a playful kiss. What a delight it was to be loved by this man. She could not have predicted his response, his exuberance in a million years, yet here she was about to be married to this curious mix of stern and playful. The playful all the more precious because she was sure it was hers alone.
"I cannot imagine what comes over me when I'm alone with you. You bring out my most outrageous self. How can it be born?" She teased with her best Lady Catherine voice.
"Quite pleasantly I assure you" He smiled indulgently at her.
"Sir" she began again, this time without hint of playfulness. "Did you mean what you said about divesting ourselves of conversational propriety this afternoon?"
"Yes, I believe I was in earnest, and to hear your change of voice now, only confirms that it was the right decision. Tell me, what is that you are thinking of, that made your countenance change so?"
She blew out a long breath, busied herself with her bonnet ribbons, tried valiantly to find that bird again. The sky revealed only barren blue.
"Before, when you answered my question so honestly...I...I meant what I said, it is only that I'm not exactly sure I knew what I meant …. does that make any sense? Oh! Of course not. It is of course completely inappropriate for a woman such as myself to wonder anything about such behaviors, except until it is expected from her. And I cannot see any fairness in that. There are crude jokes, older than any found in Shakespear of course, but I've also read ovid, and it seems disingenuous at best to explain away an entire book of the Bible. But I can't help but wonder if I'm supposed to feel ... I do not know how to say it! Is it wrong for me to… to… need you so? I know that I do dream of our future together of how handsome our children will be, and I know that the idea of you going somewhere else for satisfaction fills me with, there is no word for that. Jealousy is too weak. But I have been kept in cotton wool as befits my station and I do not actually know what is expected, or how I am supposed to feel about it." She was speaking nearly frantically now gesticulating and walking back and forth and in circles with determination. " I know how I felt about THAT" She gestured vaguely in the direction of the clearing where she had lost most of her better judgement. "But will it be that wonderful?... It cannot be as bad as some of the jokes I have heard, somewhere in between? And what about you? You must know how much I want you to have every good thing, to not regret me…."
"Elizabeth! Slow down! You are making yourself over wrought" He reached out for her hand. "I must stop any such nonsense about me regretting anything about you. My devotion to you is not some wild fancy derived out a couple of charged conversations in a ballroom." They both laughed at that. "You said many things just there, that can be addressed, but the first and foremost is that I will never seek anything out that we cannot find together. Do you understand what I am telling you? Never. And it is not just loving you as well as I do now. To break a vow to you would make me not who I am. Oh goodness why are you crying?" He sat down next to her on the fence she had wilted on.
"Only that this was perhaps the most perfect thing to say on such an occasion and I am overcome with how lucky I am. Exhibiting terribly, I know." He handed her a handkerchief. "I hardly ever cry in front of people and here you have borne witness to it on what now? Three ocasions? You poor man." She laughed at herself then.
"I hardly think it will be the last. I may be an honest man, and I am decidedly loyal, but I am far from perfect. Occasionally I will be cause for your sadness, I only hope that the time between offense and apology and restitution grows shorter with each instance. Maybe when we are in our dotage, they will be simultaneous." he squeezed her hand at that.
"Now as to the rest of it. You cannot disappoint me because I refuse to have any expectations. You will be exactly who you are, when we are alone together, and my job will be primarily to bear witness to that. Not the witty Elizabeth of the drawing room, not the determined Elizabeth with her petticoats six inches in mud to nurse an ailing sister, not the impertinent Elizabeth who refuses to be intimidated by the ridiculous. You will be all those things and everything else with nothing to hide or be afraid of. Be as nervous as you like, as passive as you like, as aggressive as you like and I will be delighted just to behold you"
"To think sir I thought you incapable of pretty speech just a few months ago."
"What I am incapable of is insipid flattery, I endeavor to only speak the truth."
"I will always know to trust you when you compliment me. Only do not forget to do it, regularly. I have had a small problem with vanity all my life and I need the praise at regular intervals."
"I undertake this labor of Hercules gladly" She playfully slapped his arm. They were silent for some time after that.
When her heart settled that she truly was to be the luckiest woman in England she felt ready to ask the question that had provoked curiosity for some time. She searched her heart to make sure she could bear any words he would say. Whether she would be pleased or not. With the goodness that he had shown to her, she hesitated asking, for she expected that this would make him more vulnerable then either of them had been yet. The calm in her mind and heart assured her that she was ready to know, and would rather know more than less about him so she held his hand and took a breath and asked him what she had been really wanting to know.
"You have been with a woman before." She had meant it as a question, but it came out as a statement. She felt him stiffen beside her.
"Please, I mean no judgement, I feel no jealousy, your life before you met me was your own, but I believe you possess knowledge that I do not, and I only want to know what to expect. Never mind, If you do not wish to share that I had no right to ask."
The pause was long, when she looked at his face he looked so unsure.
"Please do not make yourself uneasy. You know I am too frank, forgive me."
"No, it is not that. If the reverse were true it would have been disclosed to me by your father, in some cases, not in my love for you of course, it would be a cause to call off the whole relationship. While I acknowledge the difference between men and women, you deserve the truth, I will give it, and trust you with the story. I imagine I will only be able to tell you the once though."
"Before you begin. You should know that I love the man standing here in front of me. And I genuinely believe that the future we choose is more important than any past that we do not share. Or some of the past we do share come to think on it." Her smile and poor attempt at a joke served to soften his shoulders. She chose not to look at him, but at the dying grass and mud of the path instead.
After some minutes he took a deep breath and began. "When I was a much younger man, at Cambridge, I had grown disgusted with Wikham's flagrant disregard for the honor of young women, of his wasteful spending on those in specific 'professions' and his taste for humor and general expectation that women existed solely for his pleasure. If they could be convinced into intimacies then he was owed them in his mind. So for me, any behavior that may bring a similarity between the two of us became unthinkable. I had tailored myself to be his opposite in every way. Also it honestly seems a bit of a waste to spend so much time and money in the corridors of Cambridge where walked some of the greatest thinkers in history and not endeavor to improve your mind. That was what my father had told me when I had set out."
"When my time there had ended, I was all set to go on a grand tour with Richard across the continent as many of my peers were doing, but my father encouraged me to come home for the spring planting and stay through harvesting, and then to instead spend the season in London. I think he had been informed that he may have a fatal malady already by this point; although he hid this information from me for over a year. I could never stand to disappoint the man so I supervised and ploughed, sheared sheep and grew to know the tenets of Pemberley and how integral their livelihood was to mine and mine to them. It was one of the best summers of my life."
"At the end of it, my father called me to his side and told me that it was time to enter into society on my own. To bear the burden of the family name amongst those who were of a similar station. He encouraged me to not be so serious and to try and enjoy myself with dancing and, well flirting with the ladies on the dance floor. So on the one hand you know my temperament, what you do not know is how serious I took my father's advice in all matters. I of course thought he meant that it was time to find a new mistress for our estate - only I could interpret, 'try and enjoy yourself son', as 'It is time to do yet another task for the good of Pemeberley', but I set out to do just that."
"I would have been unrecognizable to you that season. Think about Mr. Bingley, and then remove all the natural ease in company and replace it with earnest determination to be affable. I'm sure it was as ridiculous as it sounds. One night I happened by a conversation in an alcove at Almacks where several young debutantes were chatting. You have probably learned by now not to pay attention to other people's conversations at assembly halls, but I had yet to do so. The four of them were placing wagers on who would be able to 'land' Pemberly's heir by the end of the season. They all agreed that the estate and the money alone would more than make up for the ridiculousness of the husband, and that they had heard that I cared more for the land than any woman anyway so they would probably not have to see much of me."
"As you may imagine, the shock and embarrassment, and earnest disgust with the ladies had me rather deflated before the supper set. And then out of nowhere, a widow by the name of Mrs. Lucy Townsend, happened to pull me aside and openly converse with me about something or other to make it clear to the ladies leaving the corridor that their bet would be harder to win than expected. I was one and twenty at the time and Mrs. Townsend was ten years my senior. Her husband had been much older than her and had still managed to stay alive for a nearly decade, and she was newly out of mourning. She was a woman who's attentions were highly sought after being very rich and … conventionally beautiful. I confess that the flattery of her conversation salved some of the sting from the words I should never have overheard. Over the coming weeks she sought me out at every event we attended together."
"Maybe a month or so of flirting in a ball room, she asked me to escort her home early, and I without any thought in my head agreed. With the reflection that comes with time I can say that I had convinced myself in love with her mostly out of gratitude for restoring my respectability. To this day I can recall no conversation of import, no common interests, no shared opinion between us. Our conversation was simply her saying something I was supposed to enjoy, so I did, and me complimenting her for her pleasure, so she was pleased."
"Anyway that night I escorted her home and she invited me inside. I wish I could tell you that I knew her intentions at the time, but I genuinely did not. It did become clear when after a matter of minutes she just had to show me some painting in a gallery upstairs, and before ever reaching a painting she… well." He frowned not really knowing how to continue.
"The whole affair lasted maybe six weeks. No one ever suspected anything. I properly begged her to marry me, because the whole business was so outside my normal behavior I felt duty bound. At first she just laughed it off saying she was rich as croesus and we wouldn't suit. And then one night I had come to plead my case once more and I saw her with another man about my age on her doorstep. It was all so crystal clear at that moment. She had taken all she had wanted from me and had moved on. Until that moment I had genuinely thought that people who acted like Whikham were reserved to my own gender, before my very eyes I saw that indeed men and women are equally capable of selfishness at its extremes."
"I did not have too much time to mourn her betrayal. Two weeks later I was called home as my father had begun to fail, and a month after that I was standing by his graveside with the livelihood of over one thousand people either directly or indirectly affected by me, and a grieving 8 year old sister. And so you found me, truthfully uncomfortable in ballrooms, suspicious of those I do not know well, and far too serious. Pride left to run amok, and only considering my own council. I might add a humble thank you for setting me to rights. Although, I suspect the difficulty in crowds is about as natural to me as breathing and unlikely a result from any youthful misadventure."
"Expanding holdings, modernizing Pemberly's farming practices, worrying over Georgiana, learning everything I could about financial and agricultural management, yearly management of Rosings, really takes a lot of time. Then there were the social obligations thrust on me by my other Aunt -The Countess- who was growing desperate that I would ever marry. I have never taken the time or considered it worth my while to place myself in that sort of relationship again, so I confess it has been a rather long while since."
Elizabeth had been watching his face for most of this story. She felt terribly protective of him and did not know if she could trust herself not to do something gastly to the woman should she ever meet her. Not out of jealousy, but more from a sense of righteous justice. She smiled at him though as he concluded. It was as she suspected, she only had another angle to admire him from. She had had nothing to fear from the story.
"You are not angry? About this miserable story?"
"No, why should I be? No, I find that I am mostly deeply honored by your trust and am resolving to be worthy of it. In some ways it makes it easier."
"Makes what easier?" He asked, again confused.
"Well it makes much more sense that one of us should know what one is about, do you not agree?" This was said with a playful lilt, but his face remained serious.
"You need to know that I would never intentionally frighten or hurt you. To do so would be to injure myself. I feel rather uncomfortable with leading you to believe I have any great level of expertise in the area. But in the spirit of this very inappropriate conversation I will do my best to answer any more specific questions...even if it kills me."
"Oh dear! That is a very broad offer, I will give you three seconds to rescind it."
He met her eyes and said nothing for a full count to five.
"My first question then."She inhaled, this one had to be completely ridiculous to lighten the mood, warm him up to the real questions to follow. "Shall I be expected to wear a night cap?"
"I should think not, I mean that I will just take it off."
"Good. I hate them, I've always refused to wear them, but my mother assured me that it was all that was good and proper, and very likely expected of me. I allowed her to make them for me because it was one less thing to argue about and it gave her something to do."
"By all means let the woman sew one hundred of them. It gives me great peace to know that propriety is being maintained in her mind." At this Elizabeth could not control the hearty laugh.
"Well that settles the worst of my anxiety,"
"That was the worst of it? Well you have done extensive reading" He was not above teasing her back if she couldn't yet take this seriously.
"Well, it has been intimated that a lady of quality ought not to express herself too much. You know, quiet laughs, never giving anyone too much attention or too little. As you know about me I laugh as I please and try my best to not engage with people I do not wish to speak to. So I am not at all a proper lady. The trouble is, that I rather enjoyed our last little interlude and was neither shy nor quiet about it. I am concerned that I enjoy myself too much. Will you check me if I behave wantonly? You see I just will not know if I have crossed a line, and I dread you being embarrassed of me."
"I absolutely categorically refuse to check wonton behavior in the privacy of our own home, next question."
"Well that answer was brief and to the point. I will take you at your word then."
"I hope you make me prove it." He didn't look at her while he said this, surprised that even he could be so blunt.
Her eyebrows could not raise higher, nor her blush be controlled. "I will take that under advisement. Next question, and please be honest. How much clothing is typically involved?"
He didn't answer right away. She held her breath worrying that she had sounded like a complete idiot.
"You asked for honestly, so you shall have it. As much or as little as you would like."
That seemed to take some effort for him to say so she pushed him on it "I'm asking how much would you like?"
"Elizabeth...I...One day I hope we will be comfortable with each other where there need not be any clothing involved, but I want you to understand that in the beginning I only want what would make you most comfortable."
"I shall consider the matter a great deal in the next week. Maybe we can start with 'some' and see where we end up."
He seemed at a loss for how to respond to that, but he did not appear troubled. On the contrary, he seemed to like the idea. She could not tell if it was the idea that she would be thinking on the subject for the coming week or if she was open to persuasion when the time came. At any rate she was fairly sure that she could not deny him anything he wanted when he smiled at her, so it was probably wasted effort to try.
"Next question, and I am probably going to hell for asking it, so if you choose not to answer for your souls sake I quite understand. Are there multiple ways two people can...can…come together?" She was scarlet now, but she had to know, she quite liked kissing him and if marital intimacies were analogous to animal breeding that seemed geometrically a little difficult.
His chin dropped to his chest and his forefinger and thumb pressed firmly into his eyes and he remained silent.
"I don't want you to go to hell, your soul is very important to me, so I will let that one go."
"No." He groaned. "I promised, God help me."
They made an innocent looking pair side by side backs resting on fence posts a full two feet of distance between them both staring at the ground.
"Yes, there are alternatives. I have no expectations of any of these ludicrous prints smuggled in from France, but there are choices...it is not like you have to commit to one either. Honestly this is one of those things that I am just going to have to trust you on."
"Trust me? I don't know anything!"
"I trust you to know what will make you feel the most enjoyment. You have to tell me if something hurts or is uncomfortable physically as well as emotionally."
"But I don't know what my options are!"
"Can we leave it to 'whatever feels best at the time'? I don't think there is anything off limits if you want to try, but it is probably best to keep things simple to start."
"If simple involves being able to kiss you, then that is fine…" She trailed off.
At this point he realized that her more visceral exposure to procreation had been on a farm. And he couldn't contain his chuckle, although he didn't uncross his arms or take his chin from his chest.
"Sir are you laughing at me?" She asked with mild annoyance.
"No, love, no! I just only now understood your question, and to answer frankly for people the simplest is facing each other."
"Oh, that is quite a relief." She had meant that as a joke, but it came across with all the seriousness that her concern had built up.
"Does it always hurt?"
He sat up straighter this time eyes wide with surprise. "Not in my experience." He replied warily.
"Have you been led to expect it will?" He asked then concerned that maybe he had missed something terribly important.
"Well yes, at least that was mama. Honestly it was the kindest thing she said to me in a long while, because she concluded that the resulting children are worth every moment and hugged me. I was a little shocked. She has not hugged me in years"
"Well my experience was that it was enjoyable for a woman, after she had given sufficient direction, but as I said my experience was limited and only with someone who had been in that position before. Maybe the first time is different for women. I take this rather seriously, would you be at all embarrassed if I brought this up with someone I trust?"
She was shocked that he would even consider talking to someone else but she tried to hide it. "Of course I trust you with discretion, only do not tell me who it is, because I will likely have to see them over a dinner table at some point, and I value my equanimity."
"That is a reasonable request." he replied. After which the silence continued for some minutes. "Was that the exhaustive list of questions?" he finally looked up at her only to see her staring at him in an appreciative if predatory way.
"Are you able to tie your own cravats?" Her voice sounded the same as it had with her other questions, but something was different in her posture. She had climbed up next to him and sat on the fence very close to his arm. He turned to face her.
"Yes...not in a fancy way mind you? Where does this question tend?" He sounded adorably bewildered.
He did not have long to ponder though, as Elizabeth reached up with her hand and gave a slight tug at one end of the elaborate knot his valet had made. She worked it off and then very deliberately traced her fingers on his newly exposed skin. She had wanted to do this since she had felt his lips on her neck back in the clearing. So pulling him close she kissed his jaw and moved down the side of his neck. The thrill of his shaky breathing was reward enough but his smell made her dizzy. Vaguely she felt that everything would be just fine next week when they wed, but the thought was drowned out by the sensation of him drawing her close and kissing her in a way that was far from strange now. Now she knew with certainty that this was indeed exactly where she should be, in his arms lost to all sensibility.