Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, the series, or anything affiliated with it. All belongs to Stephanie Meyer.
"You know everyone's talking about your spiel last week." Alice pointed out sassily, her beady little eyes concentrated on a piece of cloth she was working at. I put a finger at the word I left off at and looked up at her with nonchalance- so what? Since when did she care what anybody thought? "But I still don't know how Mom took it since her silence is so convincing; either she hates your guts for embarrassing her name or loves you for saying something so true." She didn't carelessly shrug or send me one of those weird smiles, she just let the silence in-between us grow more awkward by the minute. So, she didn't feel weird telling me something like that? What was wrong with her?
"Oh." Was my only reply, but really- what else could I say to defend myself? I slipped in my satin bookmark and closed Wuthering Heights before setting it down on the oak coffee table beside me. I tried not to read it in front of Edward, mostly because he had too much contempt for the piece of rebelling literature. I didn't see the harm in the book- what was wrong with self-expression, if not in a menacing society of dirty political bosses and gossiping women? But still, whenever he saw me re-reading it, he would unleash a wrath of sarcastic jibes and nasty remarks about it. "I really didn't mean to offend Mrs. Cullenciano-" I still didn't have the nerve to call her "Esme", for if we ever had the chance of being friends before she took me to get fitted, we had absolutely none now. That was plainly obvious!
"Yes, well, perhaps you should take more thought the next time you say something so risqué!" Alice exploded suddenly, tossing aside her crocheting for an onslaught of words. "This is not your family's Riviera country club, Isabella! You no longer have your precious daddy's intimidating face to send away all of the nay-sayers you run into!"
I jumped to my feet and pointed a mean finger at her. "How dare you, Alice! You know that I never needed my dad's help to save myself. This is who I am, whether or not that fits in this world!" And that was just it- I didn't belong in this world, it wasn't for me. I belonged in a white picket fence, with a law-abiding man and our four kids. My name and soul didn't need to be here, with a man with crazy hair and a moody persona. "You're right- maybe I should leave Edward and go find myself a boy like Fredrick." I sent her a twisted glare, putting all of my frustration and guilt into the nasty look.
"And what is that supposed to mean?" Alice crossed her arms, obviously put-off that I was insinuating only what she thought of her fiancé. He was a nasty, nasty vermin!
"Your fiancé is swine, Alice, and all he does is control your every move! You don't even have your own voice anymore, don't you know that? He's taken it, further along the nasty, winding path your marriage will surely take!" It felt lonely to know that by revealing the truth we both knew, I would have no more real friends to depend on. Rosalie was so worked over her own life, and everyone from my past no longer knew nor wanted to remember my name anymore. "And everybody just pretends like your happy, just like Reynaldo is gone now. Like he never happened, and like you two never promised one another forever." My eyes watered uncontrollably. What would happen if it lost Edward right now, and I never truly got to see him again? I was sure that he would come home that night, perhaps stumbling from the devil's water or red-faced from a day full of confrontations. But hadn't Alice been sure that her lover would return… in the same case that mine would?
She looked ready to pounce from across the room, seeing as her chest heaved up and down in a maniacal pattern, but then her lower lip trembled and her bony fingers dangled uselessly beside her platinum colored day dress, no longer crunched into fists of anger. "I still love him so much." Her small shoulders shook with all of the pain she still held within her, but her eyes still held mine in a grasp too strong to walk away from. "Reynaldo is the only man I have ever loved, and ever will." My heart sank right in my chest. God, I was an awful person! How could I bring up something so delicate and breakable to a woman that I knew couldn't handle it? I was a monster, simple.
"I'm sorry, Alice, I really didn't mean… I don't know why I brought him up. It was idiotic." I whispered softly, trying my hardest to blink away the traitorous tears that fell down my cheeks. Her eyes finally shut and her face screwed up into an expression of despair; I pushed aside the constricting coffee table and gathered her into my arms. I tried my hardest to hush her loud sobs, but they carried off the walls of my empty countryside home. Nothing mattered, because we were in pain. Our differences to the world and radical logics about love and the matters of what made the universe hate us thoroughly, and that bitch was really pissing me off lately. Where my good gal Karma at when I needed her? I always did so much good in my life, why was I paying for sins I hadn't ever committed?
Two weeks later-
She sat next to Fredrick, her liquid dynamite smile faking the entire meal before her. I looked down at my plate of untouched lobster and idly fidgeted with my own fingers beneath the table until Edward placed his own hand over mine. A sense of calamity and coolness bathed over me and I felt illuminated in his light- why did he have that much power over me and my feelings? It wasn't right that he was capable of making that sort of impact. "To us!" Fredrick toasted his third glass of imported champagne, sending a suggestive smile her way for the thrice turn. I rolled my eyes and guided my angry eyes away from his despicable self! "There is an announcement we must make." He straightened his bowtie and stood up, his half-full flute shimmering in the dimly lit restaurant Alice chose for tonight's event. "To our friends and family, Alice and I would like to announce our engagement formally." At everyone's forced applause, he smiled like the nomad jerk he was. "Our love is incomparable, and may I say even inevitable." Alice avoided my gaze as she smiled up at her fiancé.
Inescapable, too, I wanted to add but didn't have the guts to embarrass him in front of everyone. Since the other day when Alice poured her heart out on my sofa, we hadn't spoken much in order to restore the nonchalance we had been content with earlier. I let her think she was making the right move by pretending with Fredrick, and she quit trying to explain why it was wrong for me to use my relationship ties as foundation to preach about what this government needed to do. She and I were two very similar figures, but weren't ever meant to really be friends. We were too smart, too in-touch with both our feminine and masculine sides, and lastly- we loved our own far too much. I knew we were ahead of our time, but no one else did. Everyone else just assumed we were rebelling against tradition and customs, and were only trying to burn our bras above circular pits in a riot. But then, I cared not for the collective way.
It wasn't until dinner was over and we were making our way back to our hotel room that I began to lose the hold that I had on my tears. With my high-heels in hand and clutch wedged between my inner arm and waist, I held onto his hand tighter. He was my rock, now- he forced himself into my life and made his face the center of my world. I lifted my arm and wiped at the stray perspiration upon my cheeks, but not before he stopped us in the middle of the hall and whipped me around. "What's wrong, Isabella?" When I failed to answer, he took my face in both of his hands and touched the center of my eyes with his- it was as if he could read right through me and realize just what was wrong without me saying a word. "Was it something that I said at dinner?"
I shook my head and placed my hands over his, trying to keep his warmth close to me. My purse and shoes fell to the floor, but I failed to care. They were material possessions after all, and when I passed from this world to the next, I couldn't take them with me anyway. "This is nothing to do with you." For once, I wasn't lying. "It's about… it's just- Alice!" I spluttered and doubted he understood anything I had to say. "Alice and… that evil man." I murmured the last part softly, regretting my use of words almost immediately.
"Fredrick is a monster, yes, Bella- but what has that got to do with you? Has he touched you, Isabella? Did he say anything to you when I left to the lavatories tonight-" I shook my head again, dispelling his anger. A confused look crossed his face before his brows knitted and his lips pursed. "He has done something to Alice, then."
My lower lip sucked in. "No, Edward. Its nothing like that, I promise. I just…" I sniffled and tried my best to clear my throat for the words I needed to say to him.
"Hey there, Edward! Some of my college pals are in the lobby, we're about to head out on the town." And by that, Fredrick meant to Rosemount's Ranch- a filthy whorehouse stacked to the ceilings with cheap whores and flesh-eating diseases! It was a last minute decision of Alice's to invite her family to a small vacation here in Atlantic City, and personally I had never heard of her odd wanton to come to a city to Eastern. Why not all the way to New York city? Why Atlantic City? Fredrick spared me one brief glance, but he made sure not to put any emotion into it. Edward would snap his neck at the first chance he got, I was sure of it.
"I must decline your offer, Fredrick. My prior engagements are pressing; where exactly is my sister, though? I was under the impression that this was a familial holiday?" Even though he let go of me and stood closer to Freddy, as if to shield me from their conversation, I still felt the heat of his words. Tell him, baby!
"Alice is…" he gulped nervously. "She's in the hotel room downstairs. She, uh, she's the one that gave me the idea to bring some of my old pals over for a few drinks." I rolled my eyes. Even if that were true, I knew why she really wanted to be alone. It meant a few minutes without his nagging mouth at her ear! Our decision to dine and pick this hotel was nothing short of a whimsical trail of fate. Alice planned nothing, and we were just following her. "Guess I'll see you tomorrow morning, then. Night." He called awkwardly before turning around and disappearing behind a bend in the hallway. If only he would get lost and never, ever return to us! Edward came back to me and helped me with my things as we traveled to our hotel suite on the tenth floor. I cried some more on his shoulder before sleep finally stole me, but not before I fought it in vain.
Decades later, I looked back on this moment and realize that my emotional reactions were quite dramatic and for the effect, I shouldn't have been so severe with my methodical thinking. But I was granted one wish that night- Fredrick did receive just what he deserved. And oh, so much more.