A Shadow in the Fourth Wall

by Herooftime27

A boy wakes up with no memory of his life before, not knowing where he is. He clearly is enrolled in a school and has a best friend. Why is he being plagued by nightmares from these girls he's just met? Why does he feel connections to each of these girls...a stronger connection for one in particular?

1. A New World

A/N: First story I've written! Hope you enjoy. Was heavily inspired by HarrowedWriter's DDLC stories (Might show in the first few chapters). Have a bunch of chapters that I've already written the story that I've kept to myself so if this chapter is liked enough, I'll put the others up! Please enjoy 😊

"You're going to fail..."

"You can't save them all..."

"Accept it...their blood is on your hands..."

I bolted straight up. My hand griped my chest, my heart was beating a thousand times a minute it seemed.

My hands were clammy and I was sweating. My mind was stuck on the dream I had. I couldn't see anything. Nothing but darkness but I so clearly heard a voice. It taunted me….about my decisions. But why? Who was it?

After a few moments pass, I'm able to regain my composure. 'It was just a nightmare', I tell myself. Yeah, no shit, but of what?

Most importantly, not only what, but where? Where the hell am I?

I look over myself like I'm carefully examining a test subject. Why don't I recognize anything? And come to think of it, why don't i remember anything?

My mind immediately starts to sprint to a thousand different places and instances it seems to find a logical conclusion. I can feel my breathing start to pick up again as anxiety starts to claim hold of my chest.

I force myself to calm down. 'Jesus get a fucking grip...' My mind falters as I try to recall my name. 'What the hell? Why don't I know my own damn name?'

I vault out of my bed and try to understand where I'm standing. Moonlight was shining through a window near my bed, illuminating my room.

It's a decently sized room, complete with a closet, plenty of shelves generously filled with books and what I assume are video game cases. My door is in the left-most corner from where I am. A desktop computer is in the corner to my right.

"This must be my room.." I muttered to myself.

I make my way to the bedroom door, but apparently either my body was still waking up or whoever the hell I was doesn't know how to walk properly because I stumbled walking towards the exit.

I grip the handle and open it. The hall in front of me was dimly lit, most likely to a light that looked like was appearing from downstairs.

'So I live in a multi-storied house…classy', I thought to myself. I carefully walk down this short hall that lead directly to the stairs that the light was coming from. Holding onto the guild rail on my left, I make my way down the stairs.

My bare feet collide with the cold tile that greet me at the bottom of the stairs. To my right, a good-sized kitchen complete with an island in the middle. There were plenty of cabinets and drawers, and a door I assumed was a pantry. To my left, a big living room, with a big flat screen television on the far wall with two parallel couches on either side of the screen with a big recliner on the far side of the TV, creating a square-shaped set up.

I notice that the light that I saw from upstairs was coming from the kitchen. I step to the island in the middle and notice a cell phone. I pick up the phone and see some notifications.

Several were pointless game notifications, 'Come get your daily reward' and stuff like that. Then I saw one that caught my eye. It seemed like a text message from someone named….Sayori.

I immediately felt a pain in my head that cause me to grasp the counter to prevent me from collapsing.

"Jesus fuck!" I yell out loud. I grip my head, which feels like its splitting in half. A vivid image of rope appears in my mind. I force my eyes closed and focus on anything else. After a few moments it passes.

I stand there for a moment to regain my composure. My eyes, which became fuzzy, were beginning to focus again. I once again picked up the phone that I let drop onto the counter and look at the screen.

'We start school again tom-" The text ends there, showing me as much as it can on the lock screen. 'Hold the Home button to unlock', a prompt reads on the top of the screen. Almost instinctively I place my thumb on a circle-shaped button at the base of the phone.

It brought me to the home screen. I see a badge icon that indicates that I have a message. I open the message to see what it was.

"We start school again tomorrow Christian! Aren't you excited? We need to walk there together so we can get our schedules! I really hope we have classes together this year! I can't sleep! I also can't wait for you to join a club! Maybe finally you'll get a girlfriend!"

I read the text quietly to myself but my mind flooded with questions. Clubs? Girlfriends? Who was Sayori? My name is Christian? Why the fuck can't I remember anything?

I put the phone down and feel a wash of fatigue take over my body.

I stumble to the big recliner in the living room and fall into it. Before I knew it, my eyelids became heavy and I fell into sleep once more.

Crashing to the surface, My convictions lay bare before the tempest-

I am abruptly taken out of my slumber. I jump out of the chair to find out the noise was coming from my phone in the kitchen. I jog over to it to turn it off.

It was only an alarm. I glance at the time on the screen.

"6:00" It read. 'Why do I have an alarm set for six?" I think to myself, until remembering the previous time I awoke.

I stood there for a few moments until my phone started buzzing in my hand as the screen read 'Sayori'. Reluctantly, I answer it.

"H-Hello..?" My voice my low and hoarse. 'Cool, way to sound rad to some random caller dude'

"Christian!" Yelled an excited and rather high-pitched voice at me. "Are you up? You better be! You promised me that we could walk to school"

I stood there is silence and stupefied. "Um….I just kind of got up.", was all I could manage out of my clearly uncertain voice.

"Well good! Now hurry up and get ready! You have thirty minutes!", and at that the voice hung up the phone.

I stood there stunned at the encounter. 'Who was that?' I asked myself. I looked at the clock and saw I didn't have the most time in the world. Judging at the voice, she was serious about me meeting her soon. That drove me to go to my room.

I don't know why I cared or why I even gave in some effort, but I showered in a bathroom near my room that had everything I needed in it to clean myself, from washing to brushing my teeth.

Returning to my room, I opened a closet on the far side of the room that revealed some clothes. The left side of the closet looked more casual, assorting from (apparently my only style?) a bunch of different colored t-shirts. On the right, the same outfit all lined up in a row. I felt like it was more appropriate for me to use the uniform, though how I knew was not known by me.

I look in the full-sized mirror in my room to examine myself. My outfit consisted of a white-collared shirt with a light brown (were those dragon scales? Or maybe fish scales…are my thoughts always this stupid?) overshirt with some strange patterns on it, complete with a gray blazer on top. For bottoms, just some blue colored slacks.

'Not bad looking….' I tell myself. I really didn't look too bad, at least I thought so. Average height I guess for a male but lighter brown hair, hazel eyes, decently athletic body frame… 'At least I have some sort of self-confidence'

I exit my room and head downstairs.

I walk into the kitchen and notice a clock on the wall. '06:23', it read. 'Shit, didn't that girl want to meet soon?'. I pull out my phone and find the messages. I shoot a message to this 'Sayori' person. If I'm to find out anything about whats going on with me, maybe I should start with this girl.

'Hey where do you want to meet up?'. I notice a response in mere seconds. 'Outside my house dummy! Or yours, it doesn't really matter! See you soon!'

'So apparently we live close?', I mutter to myself. I see a pair of keys and wallet sitting nearby on in bowl in the opposite side of the room. I instinctively put them in my pocket, feeling like I need them. I saw a bag sitting by the door and shoulder it.

'Well, here goes nothing..' I mutter to myself and turn off all remaining lights and exit my house.

I lock my door with the keys I had (Geez, why is there a thousand keys on this thing?) and follow a walkway that leads out of my yard, outside of a fence and onto a sideway along the street.

The air was brisk. Not too cold where it sank deep into your bones but just enough for you to want to keep moving to warm yourself up.

I looked around and saw I apparently was in a neighborhood, with many individuals heading into the same direction. 'They all must be students going to school' I thought to myself. I was ripped from my thoughts as I heard yelling coming from my right.

"Christian! Chriiistiannn!" I turn to see a coral-haired girl literally sprinting my direction wearing the same uniform as me. Just you know, with a skirt.

She slows down just enough for her to crash into me in a hug and it to not bring me down and cause permanent brain damage. Startled, I use my right foot to step back and keep myself up.

"Oh, h-hey." I stammer to the girl, who clearly was to set on squeezing the air out of my body.

She looked up at me with sparkling blue eyes that for some reason were mesmerizing.

"Christian! Are you ready? We need to hurry or were going to be late!" She grabs hold of my wrist and yanks me the same direction all the other people were going. I had to jog to keep up with her.

We walk (this could honestly be compared to a sprint at this point) for about five minutes. I see a large building, presumably the school, after we turn a corner and she slows down to a walk. She breaks the silence, clearly excited about the day.

"So.." She starts, fidgeting with her blazer, "Have you thought about the clubs that you want to join this year? You promised me you would join one this year!" She turns her head to mine. I look back at her and try to muster up some sort of tone to match hers so I didn't completely make a fool of myself.

"Well um….not really." I said. 'Really dude?' I chastise myself in my head. I had no idea what to say to this girl.

"Christiannnn" Was that disappointment in her voice? "You promised me you would try this year! I really don't want you being a NEET you know!"

'What the hell is a NEET?' I think to myself. On top of that, I don't even know what I like? What kind of clubs are there? Most of all and more importantly, where the fuck am I and why don't I remember anything?

I cleared my throat and attempted an answer. I don't know why but I really didn't want to disappoint or upset this girl. She seemed so carefree and cheerful, and clearly knew who I was. Maybe she could help me understand everything? "Um..well I think I need to look around to maybe see what is offered….for clubs I mean"

"Okay but don't think you can slack off on looking! You promised me you were going to join one and you wouldn't want to make me sad would you?" She makes a pout face and stared at me.

"Okay, okay I will look around." Why the hell do I care? After the words exit my mouth, she hugs me tightly again and loudly pronounced "I knew it, I knew it!"

I feel my cheeks heat up with embarrassment as people turn to see us. "eh…Sayori." It was weird saying her name out loud. "People are looking.." I manage out my mouth.

"Teehee….sorry I'm just excited as all! Anyways lets go get our schedules!" With that, she once again grabs my wrist and drags me into the building.

After navigating some halls and running into some dead ends (shouldn't you know this building?), we find a big open room that I assume Is the cafeteria. Hundreds of students roamed around, conversations filling the room with noise. There were several lines to some desks.

"Look Christian, there's your line!" She pointed to one of the shorter ones. "Go ahead Mr. Nordenstrom, meet me back here when you're done!" With that, she shoves me the direction of the line and I oblige.

I fall in behind some taller guy I don't know and wait my turn. After a few minutes, I reach to table that had a middle-aged looking lady at it. "Name?" Her voice said at me.

"Uh..Ch-Christian." I get out. Did I have to sound like I was scared? She stares at me and raises an eyebrow. "Last name please." I think for a moment until I remember what Sayori said right before the line. "Nordenstrom?"

She flips through a bunch of forms until pulling out a piece of paper. "Here you are, Mr. Nordenstrom. First period begins at 7:30."

I thank her and grab my paper, returning to the spot that Sayori told me to meet her at. I glance over the paper and notice that, based on what it said, I was a…..third year? Apparently this wasn't my first rodeo.

As I stood there looking at my paper, I felt eyes on me. I took a look around and saw no one. 'What the hell..' I thought to myself. Not soon after, a ever-so happy Sayori bounds up to me.

"Gimme, gimme!" She says as she yanks my schedule out of my hand. She immediately pouts and hands it back to me. "We don't have any classes together."

I take note of my first class and promptly fold my schedule and place it in my book bag. "It's okay, I mean I'm sure I'll see you around…right?" I mostly say that because honestly I've never been unsure of what the hell is going on. Here I am, no memory, in a school I don't remember with a friend that I know nothing about.

"You sure are right!" She does a twirl and hops in place. "I'm going to head to my first class because it's clear on the other side of the building, but I will see you later!" She finishes the statement with her signature rib-crushing hug (I feel like I will learn to get used to this) and she skips off down a hall in the opposite direction.

I heavily sigh and stand there for a minute. I feel the staring once again and turn around. Nothing. 'Is someone seriously watching me..' I think to myself. I guess I'm the perfect candidate. No memory, average sized, dorky. Yup, might as well head into the kidnapping van now.

I notice the lot of the crowd start dispersing in all sorts of directions. I took this as a sign to find my own class.

I don't know where I am or why I am here, but if I am to learn anything about my predicament I should probably carry out my day like I normally went to school here. With that, I aimlessly (and stressfully, mind you) followed the crowd.

The school day was strange. It sped up and slowed down at odd times. I spent most of my time in classes feeling self-conscious and racking my brain to figure out why I couldn't remember anything. Most of my thoughts went to me hitting my head too hard. It maybe makes sense, right? Clearly I've been here before, I have a best friend, It's my third year from which I've gathered bits and pieces from what the teachers have been saying and what my schedule said. Still didn't solve any of my problems.

Lunch was weird, it broke up half the day but I realized I didn't make myself anything to eat. I found that I carried money in the wallet I took with me but I didn't feel all that hungry. Due to some better judgement, I grab a protein bar from a nearby vending machine and found a secluded spot down the hall to sit.

As I sat and nibbled at my snack, I felt eyes on me again. This time it felt…gentler (that's a way to put it, right?), not at all as intense like this morning. I looked around until I locked eyes with a lavender haired girl across the hall. She immediately dipped behind a book she had open like she was scared or was trying to hide. 'oookay..' I mutter to myself. I finished my bar and decided to head to my next class.

A few hours pass and the final bell rings. A bunch of people rush to the doors like they were waiting all day for this moment, most conversing about clubs or just hanging out. I gather my belongings and head out the door with the last remaining people.

As I walk out into the courtyard outside the front of the school a thought suddenly popped in my head.

'How the hell do I get home?' I racked my brain, trying to remember the direction that me and Sayori came from. 'Sayori´ I think. I promised her I'd look for a club. Well, I guess I did, I sure as hell didn't remember.

"I'll just tell her I got sick or something," I mumble to myself as I walk again. That was until I heard that familiar voice calling my name.

"Christian! Where are you going?" I turn around to see Sayori coming up to me. 'Fuck, so much for being sick and going home'

"I went to your classroom and didn't see you! Glad I caught you before you could sneak off you meanie!" She moves pass me and stands in front as if to block me. "I don't think our school has a 'Hang-Out-Outside' Club!" She wiggles a finger in my face.

"Are you sure? I think I signed up for it inside.." I sarcastically mutter to myself as she snickers and pokes my face.

"Nice try, but you're gonna have to try harder than that!" She steps closer and bridges her fingers together. "Say, Christian….." Her voice falters and her eyes look away from me.

"Yeah, what is it?" I ask, completely unsure of whats on this girls mind and frankly, do I want to know?

"It seems you haven't found a club yet or anything and I was wondering, well…..er would you come see my club?" She once again looks up to me to see my response.

"Well….what is it exactly?" 'Please don't be a cheerleader or anything, I don't know if I could do flips. Wait how do I know they do flips? How do I know about cheerleaders?!'

My internal stupid monologue was interrupted by Sayori saying "Well, I'm the Vice President of the Literature Club!"

I stare at her and process what she said. 'Literature? Do I even know how to read? Well no shit I know how to read but why a Literature club of all things?' I grip my straps of my bookbag and try to sound as nice as possible. "a Literature club? Er….I don't know if that's my thing.."

"Oh come on! It would be fun? Please, please, please.." As each 'please' leaves her lips she holds my arm and hops.

"Why do you care so much?" I say as I try to hold her in place.

"Well um…" She once again looks off sheepishly in a separate direction. "..I kind of told everyone that I would be bringing a new member today!"

I look around to make sure she was talking to me. "Why would you say that?"

"I just thought it would be so much fun with you there! And clearly you weren't gonna join a club on your own!"

'Well I guess she got me there' I thought to myself.

"Christian, please, please, PLEASEEEE stop by! At the very least come for a cupcake! Natsuki said she'd make her delicious cupcakes for a new member!"

'Natsuki?' I didn't know who that was but at this point Sayori was literally jumping up and down and fake pouting for me. The way her sky-blue eyes widened with her facial expression made it hard to say no.

"Fineee" I finally said after thinking it over. "But it's literally because of the cupcakes that um..er…Natupial made"

She squealed in delight. "Its Natsuki! And YES I knew you would! Come on, lets go!" And with that she grabbed me and once again dragged me across the school.

She navigated us down a long hall and up some stairs, practically making me trip and break my body in the process. After going up to the third floor we reached a classroom. As we stood in front of the classroom door, I felt a wash of anxiety cover my body. Why am I dreading this?

Sayori flings the door open and bounds inside. I halt for a moment to gather my thoughts. "It's just a Literature club, Christian. Nothing too crazy. Just books. Right? That's literature? Why am I talking to myself like a crazy person.." I take a deep breath and shake my head and enter.

I take a quick glance around as I gather my surroundings before Sayori hollers from across the room.

"Here's our new club member guys!" She says this why placing her bag down near a desk in the front of the class and comes to grab me.

"Sayori come on I said I was just visiting.." I start to mutter before another voice speaks up.

"Hello, Christian. Welcome to the Literature club. Sayori has told us so much about you." It was the lavender haired girl from my lunch period! She was my height with hair that went clear down to her lower back. She seemed older because, well from first sight she clearly was…developed.

'Seriously, dude? Gonna go there on first impressions? Classy' I think to myself.

"Oh really Sayori, you brought a boy? Way to kill the atmosphere." A voice comes from the back, most likely the closet. A girl with pink hair comes out and walks over to stand next to Sayori. She was smaller than me, and from the looks younger.

"Hey um…nice to meet you both," I stammer out. I make eye contact with the lavender haired girl and immediately felt that sharp pain in my head again. I close my eyes and place my hand to my forehead. A vivid image of a knife appeared, before disappearing and making me feel woozy. I gather my composure and open my eyes. The girls just stare at me.

'Great, step one of look-like-a-complete-lunatic check!' I offer a forced smile and try to pretend like nothing happened.

The pink-haired girl stares at me skeptically. "Are you just gonna stand there staring or are you gonna say something? Geez." She folds her arms waiting for a respond.

"Just ignore her when she gets moody like this." Sayori leans over and whispers that to me.

"Christian! What a nice surprise!" I hear a voice across the room that causes all of us to look. 'Cool, someone else who knows who I am before I even know who I am.'

A brunette girl slightly shorter than me with green eyes beamed at me and trotted over. "Welcome to the literature club! I see you've already met Yuri and Natsuki!"

I nod and just listen. Better than opening my mouth and saying something stupid. After all, a thought just hit me like a freight train…this club is full of incredibly cute girls! I shake the thought out of my head and focus on the brunette.

"Oh you already know Christian, Monika?" Sayori asks.

"Of course! We had the say homeroom last year! We didn't talk much but how could I forget you?" She adds a little sweetness to her tone and stares at me with those emerald eyes. I noticed myself blushing and glanced away.

"I didn't know you knew Monika, Christian!" Sayori says. 'Yeah well that makes two of us.' I thought to myself. Sayori grabs me and starts to drag me across the room. I glance at Monika and she watches us walk over. Her face changed for a split second to…was that concern? Discomfort? Then back to her smile. She sat back at the teachers desk to resume what she was doing.

Sayori brings us to some desks that were arranged to make a table. She forces me in a seat right next to her before abruptly shooting up again and shouting "Oh I forgot the cupcakes!"

"Hey I made them, I will go get them!" Said the pink haired girl in a sneer and turned towards the closet.

"S-sorry Natsuki, I got excited," Sayori says why looking embarrassed. She sits next to me immediately giddy again.

"I'll go make tea for everyone as well." Says the taller girl, then turned and walked to back of the classroom.

'Okay, the small one is Natsuki and the taller one is Yuri…and Monika is the brunette..glad to clear that up before I embarrass myself' I space out before Sayori nudges my shoulder.

"Christian what are you thinking about hm? You've been kind of off today to be honest.." She lowers her voice as she says this.

I feel panicked for a moment as I think for a response. Here is not really a place to discuss the dilemma I am in, especially with these people I don't know. Wait….I kind of feel like I don't know any of them. At any rate, I dish out the first response that my brain thinks of.

"Sorry Sayori, it's been a long day, you know?"

She eyes me suspiciously but shrugs it off, apparently content with my answer. Just as that's over, Natsuki appears with a big tray of foiled cupcakes. She places them in the center of desk (if that's what you can call it) and takes off the foil.

"Ta-da!" She says as a bunch of cupcakes are revealed. They are made to look like cats, with different colored icing for details on the faces and extra frosting for the ears. She brandishes a big smile while Sayori squeals in delight and takes one. I reluctantly take one as well.

I turn to Sayori who already has icing all over her face as she scarfs it down. "Natsuki, these are soooo good!" She says within bites. I turn my own cupcake over in my hand looking for the best angle and look up to see Natsuki side eyeing me. 'Was she waiting for me to try it?'

I took a bite into the cupcake and was immediately hit with tasty flavor, icing and the cake all perfectly balanced. "Holy shit….this is fantastic" I mutter to myself. "Thank you, Natsuki."

"Why are you thanking me? It's not like I made it for you or anything.." She says this while crossing her arms and looking away.

"Well technically you did, Sayori said you made them for the ne-" I started to say but she butts in and cuts me off.

"Well yeah but I didn't make them for, y-you know, YOU dummy!" She barely gets that last part out.

"Okay, okay I get it.." I mutter before Yuri returns with a tea set. She places a tray in front of us with a kettle and several cups lined up on it.

"They let you guys keep a tea set in here?" I say to Yuri.

"Don't worry Christian, we have permission. Besides, doesn't tea help you relax and enjoy a good book?" She smiles shyly at me and stares with her purple eyes, waiting for a response.

I rack my brain to remember literally anything literature related. "Eh well um….maybe?" I uncertainly say. Man I did not want to lie but I also don't want to look like an idiot in front of these girls!

"Ah, not much of a reader I suppose…?" She states, her demeanor slightly saddens.

"Yeah well, that can change." 'What the hell was I saying? The way she looks sad made me want to make her feel better' She smiles shyly once again.

Monika swiftly comes to my rescue "Don't feel intimidated by her Christian! She's just trying to impress you!" She giggles at her own comment.

Yuri stammers and blushes instantly. "E-Eh? That's n-not.." She trails off, clearly flustered and looks the opposite direction to not make eye contact. "I just meant.." She loses her words again.

'Maybe this girl has more problems with new people or people in general than I thought' I think to myself. "Don't worry, I get what you mean." She takes a deep breath and sighs in relief before taking a seat and grabbing her own cupcake.

"Say Christian, what made want to join the Literature club anyways?" Monika says to me. I was dreading this question. I look at Monika as she stares at me. I don't know why but the way she looked at me…it was like she was searching for something.

"Er..Well…I uh.." I stumble across my words as I try to formulate a sentence. "Well, Sayori seemed really into this club and I uh….I've read a book before." 'Bro! You are KILLING me! 'I've read a book before', dude really!? Yeah lets not impress ANY girls today and go home a fucking loser!'

Monika tilts her head for a second like she was comprehending what I said and before I could think too much on it she beamed at me, "Well as President of the Literature Club, I am committed to making this a wonderful experience for you!" She smiles sweetly at me and places her hands behind her. Her smile sends a shock down my body and my heart skips in my chest. I felt that wash of dread just like the hallway.

I got control of myself. Why do I have a strange feeling with Monika? It's like I know her already. The way she smiles, her eyes….I don't know what it is but It feels all too familiar to what I've been used to all day.

I stop spacing just to tune in to Monika asking Yuri what books she likes to read.

"Well.." She thinks to herself. "..my favorites are novels that build deep and complex fantasy worlds. The level of detail and craftsmanship is amazing." Yuri closes her eyes as she begins to talk like she was getting lost in one of the worlds she was speaking of. She then opened her eyes and continued, "But you know, I like a lot of things. Stories with deep psychological elements immerse me as well." Sighing dreamily, she glances outside the classroom window. "Isn't it amazing how a writer can take advantage of your own lack of imagination to throw you for a loop? Or take you to a place far away?" At this point, she was looking in my direction.

'Damn,' I thought to myself. If it wasn't for her shy demeanor, it almost feels like she would be the one to create a club like this instead of Monika.

"Anyways…I've been into horror lately." Yuri says, ending her statement.

"Really? I can't really see you reading too much horror!" says Monika"

Yuri quietly giggles to herself (um….was that funny? You're about to be on my radar Yuri) and responds. "I love books that take you to different worlds. Surreal horror is one of my favorites, even if it just immerses you for a brief moment."

Natsuki chimes in from a desk over, "Ew I HATE horror."

"Really Natsuki? Why is that?" Sayori says while stuffing her mouth with another cat cupcake that clearly deserved a better fate that it received.

"Well, be-because.." She starts to say before her eyes to dart to me then back to Sayori. "Nevermind! I just don't"

Monika laughs to herself. "That's right! You like to write about cute things, don't you?"

Natsuki, clearly defensive, responds, "No I don't! And anyways what gives you that weird idea?" She crosses her arms and looks at Monika.

"Well you see, you left a poem behind last club meeting and-" Monika pulls out the poem before Natsuki snatches it out of her hands.

"Don't say it out loud!" She stuffs it into her pockets and looks flustered. I, being the nice hero I am, decide to try make the little pink-haired tsundere feel better.

"You write your own poems, Natsuki? That's pretty impressive! You should share them sometime!" I try to sound nice so she doesn't explode on me.

"N-no" She turns away. "Why do you care anyways? You wouldn't like them anyways so…" She falters.

Yuri chimes in. "I get what its like to not feel confident in your writing. It takes time to establish a writing style that suites your capabilities and even longer to feel comfortable enough to share it with someone."

Monika turns to her with a smile on her face. "You write to Yuri? Where's your poems?"

Yuri blushes and hides her face in her hair. "M-me? I don't erm…I don't know"

Monika's eyes like up. "Hey this gives me an idea! Why don't we all write our own poems tonight and during the club meeting tomorrow we can share them to each other! Besides it's really help us get to know our new club member!" Monika turns to me. "That is….you are a new member of the club right?"

One by one, each of the girls turn their eyes to me. "er…uh…" I start to stammer as they stare at me. How am I supposed to make a clear-headed decision with all these girls staring at me and making me feel defenseless? "Well um…I don't really have any other clubs at the moment and Sayori seems content here…" I don't know why I clung to Sayori as an excuse but she seems to be the closest thing to a best friend right now, "..so I don't see why not."

Each of the girls look content. Well, content for Natsuki is her huffing and not scolding me. Yuri faintly smiles to herself without making eye contact. Sayori literally pounces on me while saying things that I can't really comprehend because she was too excited. As for Monika….she looked happy but still….the same look on her face. Like she was…uncertain.

"Well everyone, looks like we can end the club on a good note! Make sure to write yourself a good poem for tomorrow!" She says and like that the meeting was over.

Sayori grabs her bag and comes up to me. "Christian, what do you say we walk home together? It's been so long!" 'Has it? This is the first day of my current memory soo' I think to myself before telling her yes. She squeals in delight and grabs me. As we head out, Monika calls after us.

"Hey Christian…do you have a chance to…" She falters like she thought otherwise on what she wanted to say. "…you know, nevermind. Welcome to the club!" She puts on her smile again and waves us goodbye. I wonder what she was going to say…. Without further ado, Sayori yanks us down the hall and out the building.

The walk home wasn't too bad. Turns out we only live like 10 minutes down the road. The entire walk Sayori just talked her heart out, mostly about how happy she was that I was hanging out with her more again and how she was hungry and things like that. I'd like to say I listened but honestly my mind wandered everywhere else.

I still barely know who I am. I guess I made friends but now im in a club. People know me so apparently I've been around for awhile but I don't feel comfortable enough to tell anyone I don't remember them. Sayori I feel could help me but strange enough….Monika too. Something about her gives me a weird feeling..

I was rushed out of my thoughts by Sayori when I bumped into her because she stopped walking.

"Hey now meanie! Careful!" She says as she giggles and pokes me. We were in between both our houses. "Well, I'm gonna head inside! My mom is making dinner and I am sooooo hungry!" She sings her word 'hungry' likes it's a song.

"Er.. Sayori didn't you eat like a hundred cupcakes in there?" I ask her, wondering about her appetite.

"Shut up meanie! You know I get hungry.." She giggles to herself. "Anyways, don't forget to write your poem!" She gives me one last crushing hug before jollily trotting inside.

I can't help but admire how carefree she is. I can definitely see how we have gotten so close. I turn and walk up my own walkway to unlock my door. I enter, throw my bag on the floor and crash into the recliner. I look at the clock on the wall as it reads '4:47'.

"Hello..?" I call out. No answer. I guess I live alone. I REALLY need to see if I can figure out what is wrong with me..why don't I know anything? I just kind of…woke up here.

As my mind wanders, it dawns on me how tired I am. I wonder if it was from those weird head pains I had…

I make my way upstairs into my room before taking my shoes off and lay into my bed. I place my phone on a nightstand nearby and exhale deeply. Maybe some rest with do me good. Before long, I felt sleep tugging at my eyes and I slowly drifted off.

…

…

…..

"How does it feel? So Helpless? So lost"

I try to see who is talking to me. It's dark again. Pure darkness. My voice doesn't seem to work.

"You care too much for something you can't control. It will break you. THEY will break you.

I try to pinpoint the voice but still nothing. It's a low tone, almost gravely. It almost feels like its in my head….taunting me. I feel its voice resonate off my bones, shaking me to my core.

"You can't stop it. It will happen. She will start to withdraw no matter how hard you try.."

As if on cue, a small light shone. As I focused my eyes on it, I could barely make out what I saw. A shape? A person? It lit up just enough for me to get a picture that froze me to the core. In the darkness, I just saw a lone figure, levitating off the ground. Except levitating wasn't the right word. It was hanging above the floor.

I couldn't see who it was but I knew it was horrific. I tried to think of anything else, to call out for ANYONE else, until I heard a familiar voice that sent a shiver down my spine.

"You.."

I slowly look up to the body. Its head now turned and angled down to look at me. Its eyes were open, and fixed right on me. The eyes were hollow, giving me a cold, dead stare. It made me want to hide, not knowing how to react to the primal fear that was taking over my body.

"You…you did this…..Christian….why didn't you save me?...do I mean nothing to you?"

I look up, horrified as the realization dawned on me. "..Sayori?" I stammered.

Her voice now rose, getting increasingly louder.

"Christian….you killed me…you were too late….I burn because of you…my blood is on your hands"

My mind couldn't wrap around what I was hearing. As I stood there in fear, her voice grew louder and louder, accusing me of something I didn't understand.

"No…no…..NO!"

I yelled this as I sit up straight in bed, drenched in sweat. I look down at my hands as they shake uncontrollably. I carefully twist to put my feet on the carpet. My heart was pounding in my chest and my mind was racing.

'Sayori? What the hell? What did I do? What COULD I DO? What does all that mean?

All of a sudden, the shrill sound of a doorbell brings me out of my thoughts and makes me jump. I sat there dumbfounded at who that could be. I look at my clock near my bed. '1:17'. 'Who is here at one in the morning?' I say to myself. I hear the doorbell ring again and I get up and make my way out of my room, walking like a newborn deer.

As I reach the first floor I trip over myself and stumble down the steps, clearly making a fool of myself to any ghosts watching. I stand up, straighten out my hair and wipe the sweat off my head or any other trace of me having night terrors and open my door.

I didn't see anyone at first because of the dark until I saw a certain brunette-haired, emerald-eyed girl at my door.

"Monika? What are you doing here?"