"Monika, what are you doing here?"
My voice was dry and low, so I probably didn't show much emotion. I was more shocked than anything to see her at my doorstep.
My kitchen light protruded through the doorway and after my eyes adjusted, was able to get a better look at her. It felt almost…unnatural to see her outside of the school uniform. I don't know why it made me uneasy…
She wore a navy blue hoodie with a green shirt underneath, with some black sweats. All while shouldering a bag. I must have been looking for a while because she cleared her throat.
"Can you admire me while we're inside?" She said with a smirk.
I was still shocked to see her so I just looked dumbfounded and nodded as I step aside for her to enter. She skipped right along past me and made herself at home.
I closed the door and turned around to see her staring at me. It made me feel uneasy but also I felt my cheeks slightly heat up. I tried not to make direct eye contact. She dropped her bag at her feet with a thud and took a step forward. I couldn't help but notice a glossy look in her eyes…was she upset about something?
Before I knew it she pounced at me, pushing me up against the wall. Instinctively, I held my hands out to keep her in place.
"Oh my god, Christian! It's really you!" She started saying, hysterical and full of relief and joy. "I never thought this day would come!"
Her eyes darted all over my body like she was examining me for anything. I must've hit my face on the ground as I tripped on the stairs (smooth going, me) because her eyes fixated on a spot on my forehead and her face immediately turned to worry.
"My dear are you okay?" She started rubbing it and stood on her toes to place a kiss on my wound. "I c-can't believe it's you! After all this time I just.." She faltered as she stumbled to get her words out, "..I n-never thought I'd get to see you. To touch you, to feel you!" She fell onto my chest and started squeezing her arms around my torso.
"I er- um….Monika?" I finally found my voice after being cooed over for the last minute.
She must've felt me disconnect because she lifted her head up and placed her hands on my chest. I stared into her emerald eyes, glossy and shiny from her tears. As weird as this whole situation was, I couldn't help but blush at their intensity.
"Christian, it's me, I'm here! I'm here for you! I'm here for us! We did it.." She continued to stare at my face and I tried my best not to look so confused. "Christian I-I…" Her look turned from relief to worried as she fumbled over her words. "…I love you, Christian! I love you so much and.." She once again lost her voice and a feeling of dread washed over me as a realization swept across her face.
"Monika, I um.." My voice was failing me. I don't remember anything! I just woke up this morning, knowing nothing of my school, my friends, my life! To make it all worse, here I have a beautiful girl telling me that she was in love with me.
To say I was worried was an understatement. I wasn't worried of any sort of pain I could receive. I was worried of any pain I could give to her. I stared into her eyes and there was nothing but love and happy, but all mine held were the lack of familiarity. I knew nothing that went between me and Monika but I sure as hell didn't want to hurt her.
Anxiety creeped up through my chest as I tried to think of literally anything that could help us both out.
I felt her hands grip the bottom of my blazer and more tears streamed down her reddened face.
"Christian please….please tell me you love me…" Her voice trembled and her lip quivered. "I've waited so long for you…"
My mind froze. I said the only logical thing I knew I can get out.
"Monika I…I don't know. I don't remember. I don't remember anything!" Before I knew it, all my emotions, all my anxiety came pouring out. "I just woke up yesterday with no memory or anything and everyone seems to know me and everything about me, but I don't remember anything about my life or my friends…" My voice trails off as I stare into her eyes, which were now uncontrollably flowing with tears.
She walked over to my island in the kitchen to stabilize herself. She was shaking and seemed devastated. I wanted so desperately to say anything to help but my mind wasn't working.
"Monika, I wish I could remember! I do! I want more than anything to not feel lost and alone in a place I know nothing about but…" I once again couldn't find the words I needed to save me. "I don't want to hurt you, I just.." I sighed and stared at her, her head laid in her hands against the counter.
To my surprise, she chuckled slightly to herself, which means that situation was turning more positively or I'm about to have to seriously remember what I could use for self-defense. She looks up with her puffy eyes with a faint smile on her face.
"You really are him, always kind and caring for others before yourself.." She sighs audibly. "I should've expected this to be a side effect." Her voice leaked of disappointment. She sighed and took a deep breath to regain her composure.
I stepped into my living room to a tissue box I remember seeing and brought it over for her.
"Thanks…" She mumbled while wiping her tear stains and blowing her nose.
As she found her composure again, it immediately dawned on me what she said. 'I should've expected this to be a side effect'. 'A side effect?!' I thought to myself. I took a deep breath.
"Monika.." She looked up to meet my gaze. "What do you mean 'side effect'?"
She tore her eyes from me to avoid eye contact. She seemed to be thinking, searching for the correct thing to say. She returned her gaze to me with a determined look in her eyes.
"Christian…you're in the game."
'…'
I just kind of looked at her. She just stared at me like that was all that needed to be said so we could resume our love session, like 'oh! Duh! That explains it all! Come over here and give me some sugar!'
I cleared my throat. "Um…..do you plan on elaborating or.."
She took a deep breath and stared once more, looking more like the club president I saw earlier instead of the vulnerable girl I witnessed tonight.
"Christian….this world we're in, it's a game. It was a game. Today was so much different than before…it seems much more real than it ever has. It now all makes sense, seeing you here."
She starts to pace around the room like her mind was racing.
"You were the player. It was an innocent experience for you, but for us it was excruciating. Well, for me it was. I was the only one with a real conscience. The others…they were all just scripts in the game, destined to be girls you end up with.." Her voice falters as the finishes that sentence, clearly distraught about saying that. Before I can question it, she continues.
"I was never given a proper route, all I could do was sit and watch. It was torture. The only one with free will, the only one who could properly learn and understand you and reciprocate and I had to just watch.." Her voice became for lower, her tone treading into annoyance or anger. She made eye contact with me and took a deep breath again, her voice returning back to informative and dreary.
"I began to see if I can find ways to be with you…nothing worked. For cycles and cycles of the game, nothing I did would change. Until one day…." She looked my directly in the eyes, "I found the opportunity. I saw a light, and when I wished upon it…..nothing happened. Or so I thought. But all I had to do was wait! For the next day you appeared and the world was so alive."
She placed her hands to her chest. "I noticed when no one was following their scripts that I became so accustomed to that it was different…"
"So that's why you were giving those looks in the club.." I said.
She simply nodded and half smiled. "I was unsure on if it really was you or not…that's why I came here tonight to find out for myself!"
She sighed and had a sad look in her eyes. "I wish you could've remembered…..it would've made everything worthwhile. Every new cycle, all that wasted time.." She trailed off and looked to the side.
I cleared my throat. " So um….how would you know you love me if you never really met me?"
She turned her head back to me and had a glint in her eye. "Because, you treated everyone else with such kindness. You never looked down on anyone, all you did was put others before yourself. You did everything you could, you helped in every possible way and that's the reason you can be here right now. That's why you are who I love." She ended that last sentence while staring into my eyes causing me to blush and turn away.
"So let me get this straight….I have no memory because I was playing a game in what I can assume was my own world, and some event happened where I got placed here in your world which is now entirely real and thriving?"
She just sighs and nods.
"Well I guess that pretty much clears up a lot of my questions.." I start to think about Sayori and feel guilty. "What about Sayori? She's so convinced that I'm her best friend."
Monika stepped over to my fridge (um, no please help yourself) and pulled out a water bottle to take a drink of before answering.
"Sounds to me that…you are kind of taking the place of the character that was portrayed when you played from the outside. In the game, Sayori and the main character were childhood friends."
I grabbed my own water from my refrigerator and took a drink. "How am I supposed to compete with that? She's going to find out eventually! I can't break news like hey best friend from our whole lives! Oh, by the way, I don't even remember you or my life! Haha!" I say that giving my best idiot impression and arm movements.
Monika giggles. "No, just…go with it. You might even start to recover so memories from the game that can help you!"
I sigh and take another drink. "I mean I guess I can try that…" I lock eyes with the brunette. "But what about you? I don't really feel like hurting you or anything.." I felt embarrassed talking like that.
Any other guy would've just pretended to know her and jump at a chance to love. Unfortunately, I'm a stupid nice guy who has emotions and morals.
"Well.." She says as she does a little twirl to regain ground towards me. "..You may not remember us but I'm not gonna stop trying to win you over again until you're mine!" She puts a big smile on her face. "After all, you are actually here this time."
I play with my bottle cap on my counter as I digest her words. I don't know if now is the best time for me to be in any relationship. What about the others? If I take the place of a protagonist of a game who's sole purpose what to be romantically involved with a club member, am I going to have to worry about the other girls too?
I look up to Monika who was staring at me with determination. I didn't want to shoot her down completely. After all she did help explain my whole situation. I just couldn't bring myself to feel the way she did right now.
I think for a moment. "Well Monika honestly if that's what keeps your positivity up then you go nuts." 'Go nuts? Wow dude how does she not hear the shit that comes out of your mouth and walk away?'
Monika giggles to herself. "Good! I feel like I can be very persuasive…" She starts walking her fingers up my arm. I blush and brush off her hand.
"Hey now watch it! Take me to dinner first!" I joke at her while returning my tissue boxes into the living room.
She giggles again and sighs. I guess its much better than her crying. Though I don't know if I can keep up with her.
"Christian, have you wrote your poem yet?" She asks.
'Fuck' I scold myself. "Er….not yet….I got busy tonight with…stuff" I scramble to make an excuse out of the blue. She looks at me skeptically but I guess chooses not to press.
"Okay, but know I'll be looking forward to see what's inside that brain of yours!" She steps over and knocks on my head. I roll my eyes and look up to the clock.
"Jesus Christ Monika, you know its fucking three in the morning right?"
She looks up to the clock with mild interest and back to me. " I don't mind how late it is. Besides.." She plays with her thumbs, "I could always stay the rest of the night here."
I roll my eyes and pick up her bag. "Come on, Monika. I need some sort of shut eye if I'm to be able to make it through the school day tomorrow."
She puts on a fake pouty face and whimpers. I make a show that it won't work on me by handing out her bag. She reluctantly takes it and makes her way to the door. As I open it for her, she stops right halfway in the doorway.
"Christian…I know you don't remember anything, but I will make your time here worthwhile. I will win you over." She brandishes a smile and stares at me with those damn mesmerizing emerald eyes before exiting. I give her a small wave and close my door.
I turn off all remaining lights and go upstairs until my room.
I pass by my full body mirror and realized im still rocking my school uniform. I shed the clothes and scavenge through my closet for something that even closely resembles comfortable relaxation wear. I settle on a pair of sweats and a t-shirt that most likely has a band from whatever is in this "game".
I glance at the clock again as it periodically blinks '03:08'. I audibly sigh and sit at a table I have set up near my computer and switch on a desk lamp. Despite how late it is, after the exchange with Monika, I don't feel tired in the slightest. I have too much on my mind.
I now know why I have no memory...how I got here and from who. Part of me can't help but feel some sort of resentment towards Monika. I got taken out of my own world just to placed in this one, helpless and lost.
I wonder if I should've brought up my nightmare about Sayori to Monika. I still didn't understand why I had it or what it meant. I told myself that it was for the best to keep it to myself…for now.
I exhaled deeply and pull out a nearby composition notebook. 'Might as well write this poem' I thought to myself. I picked up a pencil nearby and racked my brain about what to write about.
I am not a writer in the slightest. Well, as far as I know. I'm not book-savvy like Yuri who I suspect would be a poetic genius. I'm sure Monika knows how to express her poetry skills as well, being that she is a president of a literature club after all. Hell, Sayori is the vice president and she may seem kind of like an air-head but it wouldn't surprise me at all if even she can write anything.
Natsuki is the only one I'm unsure about. All she seemed to possess was a shit load of sass. Nah, who am I kidding. It's the Literature club! I'm sure everyone has an idea on what they want.
Frustrated, I start to just draw random things on my paper as I rack my brain. I look at my phone. I hesitantly pick it up and open up messages. I tap my conversation with Sayori and relunctantly send a message.
'Hey, you up?' 'Sweet, way to make it sound like a booty call', I chastise myself. A few moments pass and I get a reply.
'Barely! What are you doing up right now mister?' Sayori texts back. I slightly roll my eyes and respond.
'Something came up and I realized I didn't write my poem'. I hit send and she responds within seconds.
'CHRISTIAN YOU BETTER WRITE A POEM! I'VE BEEN LOOKING FORWARD TO IT SINCE THE CLUB MEETING!' I can almost hear her yelling in my head.
'I don't know what to write about, I've never done this before' It's true. Especially now, I have no recollection on what I'm good at. I get as far as writing my name on the paper and my phone dings again.
'Just write whatever comes to your head or what you're feeling! Just put your pen on the paper and let your brain fairies do all the work!' I re-read that last text and question if I should continue to try to be friends with her, end up chuckling at it and responding.
'Okay, okay I will try. Go get some sleep and I will see you tomorrow'
She responds with a bunch of…emojis? And I get up and place my phone near by nightstand at my bed. I return to the desk and rack my brain. What the hell do I have up there that can help me? I take a deep breath and exhale and put the pen on the paper.
Realization
An empty husk that has come to light
Unaware of the current plight
Aimlessly treading along a nameless river
Waiting in silence for the unknown to deliver
Footsteps too dim, yelling in the void
Nothing is returned, confidence destroyed
A new source has lit, became a new picture
The mind has opened, begun to flicker
Stuck in a place of new creation
Overcome with emotion from the realization
I look down at the paper that laid before me and read what I have written. I have no idea where the hell it came from but I'm not complaining. At least I have something to show for, even if its not that good.
I look at the clock that resides near my bed. '4:15'. Damn! That took me an hour to write.
I get up and walk over to my bed to slump onto it. I lay there in hopes to use my last 3 hours to get some sort of sleep.
My mind was still being hyperactive but after some concentration, I was able to calm it down and sleep took me in.
The rays of the morning sunlight paint my room a light yellow as I open my eyes. I give a big stretch and look over at my clock. '11:23'. I yawn and lay there for a moment. I open my eyes again and look back at my clock.
'Holy fuck, it's eleven!?'
I sat straight up and flung my feet off my bed before shrieking in terror and leaping back against the way as I see someone sitting at my desk looking at me.
She whips her coral-haired head back in laughter as she sees the look on my face.
"Sayori?" I yell. "What are you doing here? You're lucky I don't sleep naked you know!"
Sayori continues to laugh before standing up and dancing on the spot. "I scared you, I scared you!" She sings happily to herself and spins in circles. I put my head in my hands and groan.
"Sayori what are you doing here? It's almost eleven thirty!" I stand up and start to quickly rummage through my closet for a clean uniform.
"Heehee, I know! But you didn't come out to meet me this morning and never answered your phone so I decide to come see what you were doing. When I came in I saw you asleep! I wanted to see you long it would take you to wake up!" She says this while opening my blinds, allowing the natural rays to envelope my room.
I pick up my phone off my nightstand and click on the screen. '3 missed calls: Sayori. 11 unread messages: Sayori'
I scratch my head and apologize. "Wait, how the hell did you get in my house anyways?"
She holds up some keys and jangle them in my face. "You gave me a spare key, remember? I used to come over a lot and you'd cook me food and you got tired of always unlocking the door!"
"Oh yeah, that." I half-ass agree. "Well get out so I can change! We don't have a lot of time!" I holler at her as I shove her out.
"Okay, okay I'm going! But you better hurry up meanie!" She says over her shoulder as she heads downstairs.
I sigh and start to change. I can't believe I slept in so late. I guess if Monika didn't pay me a late night visit and leave existential information on my brain I might've been able to wake up. Not to mention writing a poem. I'm sure that took a lot of brain power on my part considering how actually dumb I am. Although I am grateful that I didn't have any weird visions this time.
I finish putting on my school uniform, doing bathroom necessities and before long I head downstairs with my poem that I grabbed on the way out the bedroom door. I see Sayori sitting on a stool at my kitchen island, patiently waiting for me like a dog does their owner. She sees the paper in my hand and squeals before leaping for it.
"Is that your poem? Gimme, gimme!" She tries grabbing it but I hold it over here head, just slightly out of her reach. She tries jumping but I hold her down with one hand.
"Sayori not yet! Just wait until the club meeting! Besides its in a few hours anyways!" I say this while letting go of her, cautiously eyeing her until she accepts defeat. I retreat to my bag near the door and place it in there.
"Ok fine meanie. But I get to read it first!" She exclaims as she hops on my back. I grunt and try to hold her up.
"Jesus Sayori, you are exerting too much energy, I just woke up you know!"
She thumps my temple and scolds me. "Who's fault do you think that is, hm?"
"Yeah, yeah.." I say as I set her down. I shoulder my bag, grab my keys and we head out the door.
"Wait come to think of it…why are you here too? You should be in class!" I look at her and see her avoiding eye contact. "Sayori, are you using me to skip school?"
She giggles embarrassingly to herself and skips a few paces ahead. I sigh and continue following her.
As we walk, I couldn't help but remember the dream I had before Monika showed up. 'Was that really Sayori?' I think to myself. She's so carefree and giddy, I can't imagine her doing something like that.
'She will start to withdrawal no matter how hard you try'
The voice echoed again. I shake my head to try to lose the image. I don't know what that entails or why is has to do with my childhood friend (well, new friend but ah you know what I mean) but It's far too vivid for it to be nothing. But that's all I can hope for it to be. Nothing. It's only then that I realized Sayori snapping her fingers in my face.
"Heh, huh?" I stupidly say.
"Are you okay silly? You were staring off into nowhere!" She grabs my wrist and yanks me.
"Yeah I'm fine doofus." I respond.
"Well good, meanie! Now lets go!" She picks up the pace and I'm forced to jog/run to keep up with her. Before long, we arrive at the school gates and stroll through the courtyard.
"Well here we are, halfway done with the day. I guess I'll see you at the club." I say to Sayori.
"Mhm, you sure will!" She delivers her rib-crusher hug. "See you later!" She skips off into the group of students walking around.
Luckily, it's lunch time so I don't have to worry too much about talking to teachers…right now anyways. I fall in line with everyone and continue out the rest of my classes trying to see if I can break any records for how little knowledge I can receive.
I finish out the rest of my classes blissfully unaware of what the hell was going on. I was pulled out of my daydream trance once the final bell rang. I put away any papers I had out on my desk and grabbed my bag, heading out to the club.
I seemed to be the last one to walk into the club today. Sayori was the first one to greet, who hollered "Christian!" All happy and loud right next to Natsuki, who covered her ears and gave some sass.
Monika stood up from the teachers desk. "H-hey, Christian!" She says, flashing me her signature smile. "Sayori filled me in on your half day of sleeping." She told me in a teasing tone.
"Sayori…" I say as I turn to her. She prods her fingers together and mutters a sheepish 'sorry' before giggling and returning her attention to Natsuki. I turn back to Monika. "Yeah well, I had an unexpected visitor keep me up so I didn't have much choice." I throw a little sass into my voice and smirk as she laughs to herself.
I put my bag down and sit in a seat. Yuri materialized from what can only be described as 'thin air' and it takes everything in me not to jump out of my skin. Part of me feels like that would scare her more than it would me.
"Welcome back to the club, Christian." She says shyly. "I'm glad you kept your promise."
Well, I don't remember a 'promise' but I shrugged and smiled anyways. "Of course, I wouldn't bail out on day one. Ask me this again in a week when you guys hate me for my poor literary expertise."
She chuckles to herself and takes a breath before continuing to talk, carefully choosing her words. "I hope this isn't too overwhelming of a commitment for you. Diving head-first into literature when you aren't accustomed to it."
"Oh please, like he deserves any slack!" Natsuki pipes up out on the opposite side of the classroom out of nowhere. "You better not just come in here to slack off and sit around! Sayori told me you didn't even want to join any clubs this year! And the year before that! If you goof off you won't hear the end of it!"
Monika walks over from the desk to join the conversation. "Natsuki, that's a lot of talk for someone who keeps their manga collection in here."
"M-m-m!" Natsuki's retort gets stuck in her throat, seeming to be torn between saying 'Monika' and 'Manga'. "M-manga is literature, too!" She finally says while slumping into a desk chair, clearly defeated.
Monika chuckles at this and returns to her desk.
Sayori speaks up to me and Yuri, "Hey Christian! Yuri said she had something to give you!"
I turn my head to Yuri as she avoids eye contact, clearly flustered.
"E-eh, S-Sayori! What are you saying?" She says.
"It's okay! I'm sure he'll love it!" She says with a smile on her face while Yuri buries her face in her hair.
"N-no, its nothing. It's really nothing." Her face starts to burn up, I guess it's up to me to rescue the situation.
"Hey, do you have something for me?"
"N-no, it's okay." She stammers back. "S-she made it sound like a big deal when it wasn't."
"Well.." I carefully try to choose my words so I don't further make the girl feel embarrassed. "…I wasn't expecting anything in the first place. So anything you could've given me would be a pleasant surprise."
Yuri exhales sharply and turns to look at me. "Well, I overhead you talking yesterday about how you didn't know much about literature, so I picked up a book I thought you might enjoy."
"Really, Yuri? That's great!" I try to sound as enthusiastic as possible, even though I'm worried that it'll be some sort of demon ritual book.
Yuri softly smiles to herself and digs into her bookbag until she pulls out a novel and hands it to me.
"It's a short read so it should keep your attention. Then if you finish it, er-if you want.." She starts playing with her hair and blushes while looking anywhere but at me, "..we c-can even discuss it if y-you want.." Her shy voice trails off.
How is this girl accidentally being so cute?
I enthusiastically agree and thank her. She shyly smiles to herself and returns to her desk.
As I sit there I look around, waiting for Monika to kick off the meeting with some regularly scheduled events or something but apparently everyone has their own thing going on. Yuri has her face buried in a book. Her expression intense, like she's been waiting all day for this chance. Natsuki retreats into the closet in the back for some reason and Sayori trots over to Monika. I just sigh and look around. What the hell am I going to do?
As I stared off into space, I felt a pair of eyes on me. Natsuki was nowhere to be seen and Sayori and Monika were deep in discussion. I look over and see Yuri peering at me from over her book.
Her eyes widen and she quickly retreats again into the pages. I sigh and get up. From what I've learned from her, she won't be the one to approach or start a conversation on her own accord.
"S-sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt you.." She says all embarrassed.
"It's okay, Yuri. Besides I wasn't doing anything anyways." She sighs, content with my answer before an awkward silence falls between us.
"So uh…" I try to grasp for anything to talk about. I literally got up and came over here. I will be damned if I become the weird one. Shes already doing a good job of that on her own. "er..what book are you reading?"
She closed to cover and analyzed the cover of her book, "It's called Portrait of Markov" She turns it over and scans the back. "okay…I wanted to make sure I wasn't going to spoil any of it."
She turns to me and takes a breath to compose herself. "Basically its about two long lost sisters who meet up after escaping from a human experiment prison. Their lives starts to take a drastic turn when they are being hunted and have to learn who to trust."
"Er, isn't that kind of dark?" I half laugh after hearing that.
She giggles to herself. "Why's that, Christian? Not into that sort of thing?"
I forgot she said she likes horror stuff. Should've remember the purple haired, quiet, reserved girl to be the one with the most hyperactive mind.
"Eh I don't mind it," I start to say, "But I also have a crazy imagination and I'll probably end up getting myself haunted"
She shyly laughs at me, which is good to hear. Maybe I can break her out of her shell.
"Okay everyone!" I hear Monika say. "It's time to share poems! I got excited and couldn't wait any longer!" She makes eye contact with me and smiles. Geez, why does her smiles have to make me feel warm.
Sayori bounds to her bag to grab her poem. Natsuki and Yuri half-heartedly grab their poems. I return to my own bag and grab mine.
I scan the room to see who to show first until Sayori leaps in front me, giddy and excited as hell.
"Hey Christian! You told me you'd show me first!" Before I even get a chance to give it to her, she yanks it from my hand. I stand there awkwardly as she scans over it with a smile on her face.
"I can't believe you actually wrote something! And it's good!" Sayori beams at me.
"Eh you're just saying that cause you have to." I respond back, trying to reclaim my poem.
"It's good! I don't really know what it's about but that's okay! Cause it's a special poem!"
"Sayori how is this a special poem?" I ask her.
"Well I can't tell if it's a happy or sad poem, all I know is it's special because it's a Christian poem!" She says this while hugging the paper to her chest.
I sigh and lightly tap on her head. "I don't know what you got going on in our noggin up here but it can't be much."
"Hey, meanie!" She says, slightly offended.
"Just let me read your poem already." I say,
She finally hands me her poem and I look over it.
Dear Sunshine
The way you glow through my blinds in the morning
It makes me feel like you missed me
Kissing my forehead to help me out of bed
Making me rub the sleepy from my eyes
Are you asking me to come out and play?
Are you testing me to wish away a rainy day?
I look above, the sky is blue
It's a secret but I trust you too
If it wasn't for you I could sleep forever
I want breakfast
I finish the poem and look at Sayori. "Eh, this is just a guess, but did you wait until morning to write this?"
She nervously laughs to herself, clearly embarrassed.
I chuckle at her and ruffle her hair while handing back the poem.
"Hey meanie, I'm not a dog you know!" She says.
"Hey now, I think we need to stop hoggin each others poem over here!" Monika jokingly says as she walks up behind me. We exchange poems and she looks over it.
I can tell on her face that she knows what I wrote about. She had a surprised look and wore a smile on her face.
"Christian, this is great! I was going 'oh-oh-ohhhh!' the whole time in my head!" She smiles sweetly and hands me back my poem.
"Eh, thanks Monika. I know it's not all that good but Sayori told me to just write about whatever I was feeling and I birthed that monstrosity."
Monika chuckles at that. "Well you could've fooled me. You were very metaphorical. You sure this is your first time writing?" She shot me an accusatory eyebrow with a smirk.
I shuffled where I was standing. 'I don't know if it's my first time! You should know this!'
She just laughs and poked my side. "I'm just teasing. Keep up the good word, Christian! Are you ready to read my poem?"
Before I could respond, the sound of a chair scraping across the floor stole our gaze. Across the room, Natsuki and Yuri seemed to be exchanging poems. Only from the tones of their voice….something was about to go down.
"What do you mean cute?" Natsuki says in a defensive tone. "Did you completely miss the symbolism or something? It's clearly about the feeling of giving up!"
"Er…" Yuri clears her throat before answering but her tone clearly has a slight annoyance to it, like she was on the verge to escalating the situation. "I didn't mean..*sigh* I was just trying to say something nice."
"Oh you have to try that hard to say something nice, well I'm sorry but it really didn't come out nice at all." Natsuki says. "But if you want some pointers I'd be glad to-"
Yuri cuts her off. "Excuse me, but I've spent years establishing my writing style, and I only will turn to new ideas when I am inspired to do so, which I have not been yet."
Natsuki scowls at her as Yuri continues. "Besides, plenty of people would like my poem I'm sure, unlike your cutesy interpretation of literature."
Okay, I don't know why but the air became heavy and I feel my chest welling up with anxiety. I heard Monika mutter next to me, "No, no, not this. This isn't the game any more they shouldn't be.." She falters as her mind races.
I don't know why but my instincts were telling me that this is not supposed to be happening nor is it something that we want to happen.
"Oh really, I was unaware that you were gonna try so hard to impress our new member, Yuri!" Natsuki shot at her.
Yuri shot up in her chair, but instead of being shy and reserved like I've grown used to, she wore a look on her face that was…..malice.
Monika grabbed my shoulder. "Christian we need to do something and fast. This isn't the game any more, they aren't controlled by choices…we need to stop them and now!