A Shadow in the Fourth Wall

by Herooftime27

A boy wakes up with no memory of his life before, not knowing where he is. He clearly is enrolled in a school and has a best friend. Why is he being plagued by nightmares from these girls he's just met? Why does he feel connections to each of these girls...a stronger connection for one in particular?

4. Stormy Skies in the Mind

Chapter 4 – Stormy Skies in the Mind

I walk downstairs, fully dressed in my school uniform. I look up at a clock I have hanging on my wall and it reads, '6:15'.

"Great," I mutter to myself. "Still got a good hour or so to kill before I need to head out." I sigh and head into the kitchen to fix me something for breakfast, even though I was far from hungry. I decided on a bagel I found that I put some peanut butter on and retreated to my living room to take a seat.

I flip on the television and see that I still have it set to my Xbox. I look up to the clock and back at my screen. I lean forward and pick up my controller and think to myself, 'A few games wouldn't hurt.'

I decided to play the same game I played yesterday. It was some space game where I was a "Guardian" or something. It was pretty fun and I feel like it was something that I spent a lot of time doing before I lost my memory and was placed in this kawaii-hell.

I finish a 'Strike' and look at my phone. '6:43''

"Fuck!" I say out loud. School's going to start in forty minutes and it takes half that to walk there. I power off my electronics and grab my bag.

'That's weird, I figured I would've heard from Sayori by now..' I think to myself as I depart my house.

I walk out to the street and was immediately shocked by what I saw. It snows here? The streets and sidewalks were glistening with a white powder, with snowflakes falling ever so gently from the cloudy, grey sky. I put my hands in my pockets to preserve my skin from cracking off. I look around me and see no signs of the cinnamon bun, or any other people for that matter. Just me standing alone on a snow-covered street.

'Oooookay, this is starting to stress me out..' I think to myself.

I turn to approach her house which is right next to mine and walk to her doorway through her front yard. A feeling of dread fills my body as I look at the still house. The dream I had of her the day prior pops into my head. I stand in fear for a split second.

"No, she wouldn't do something like that. She was fine yesterday!...Right?" I quickly approach her door and start knocking. A few moments pass and no answer. 'Oooookay, I'm starting to freak out.'

I feel anxiety start to rush through my limbs and I knock again, this time louder. Still no response. "Sayori!" I yell as I pound on her door again, this time probably looking like I criminal.

I start fumbling around with my keys, my mind blanking. 'Fuck, fuck, fuck which key is it?' I start using trial and error with my key ring until I hear a scraping sound above me. I jerk my head up and see Sayori's head poking out her bedroom window.

"H-hey, Christian! Sorry I think I overslept! I'll be out in a second!" She closed the window and disappears.

I stand with my back against her door for a second to regain my composure and catch my breath. 'Jesus fuck,' I think to myself. 'Why did that scare the shit out of me? She just accidentally overslept…I did the same thing yesterday. Nothing to worry about..'

I step away from her door stumble over to take a seat on one of her front steps. I put my head in my hands and control my breathing. My eyes fall onto the snowflakes that are ever so gently raining from the sky until I hear some commotion from right behind to door. Sayori swings the door open and bounds outside, her physique all messed up.

Her red bowtie on her collar is loosely tied together, her brown-scale vest is wrinkly, the bow on her head is close to falling off. She blushes and looks sheepishly to the side as I eye her down.

"Hehe, er..sorry, Christian! I just didn't hear my alarm is all!" She throws a forced smile on her face as she says this, but her voice isn't convincing me otherwise.

"Well it's a good thing I woke you up then!" I say this while straightening out her blazer and tightening up her bow. "What would you do if I wasn't here to clean you up?"

She giggles to herself. "Well I don't know what'd I do! But I like it when you help straighten me out so I guess I'm gonna keep it up! Hehehe.."

I roll my eyes and sigh. "Well come on now cinnamon bun, we gotta get to school." I usher her my direction and start to walk.

The walk to the school was different today than it has been. Sayori has been significantly less talkative than usual. I was the one initiating all the conversations, which made it kind of difficult because I wasn't used to having pitch in so much. I don't know why but it was really putting me on edge. I tried to shake it off and act like it was nothing, but I just couldn't.

"Hey, Sayori," I start to say. She looks up at me like I snapped her out of a daze. "Uh…are you doing okay today?"

I saw her eyes widen for a fraction of a second and she returns with a smile. "Of course Christian! I just had a weird dream was all! There's no need to worry about me!" She tries to make a show of hopping in place like normal.

"Are you suuuuure?" I say while poking her head. "I'm kind of contractually obligated by the Friendship Committee to look after you, so I just want to make sure everything is good in Sayori town."

She giggles and skips ahead a few paces, brandishing a smile. "Of course I am Christian. Stop worrying about me! You have other things to worry about that deserve more of your energy. Now lets go!" She says this and bounds off without turning back.

"Right…." I mutter to myself and follow her.

We get to the school with some time to spare. Sayori says her goodbyes for the time being and departs to her first class. I watch her walk away and sigh. Something about how this morning played out really bothers me.

I must've been pretty phased out because I didn't even notice when Yuri walked up to me and tapped my shoulder.

"Ah, er-good morning, Yuri." I say to her while I try to cover up the fact that she startled me. It also didn't help that I'm not used to seeing her outside the clubroom. She carries around a traditional bookbag instead of a shoulder backpack and she had a purple scarf on today that really compliments her overall appearance. She had a warm smile on her and a soft blush, most likely from the weather outside.

"Good morning, Christian. How are you doing this morning?" She says to me. She shifts her weight from one foot to the other, almost like she was anxious….or excited.

"Eh, I've had better mornings." I tell her. Her facial expression shifts to a worried one and I almost wish I lied instead.

"Oh no, why is that? Are you okay?" She eyes me all over like to see if I have any physical wounds.

I put my hands up and chuckle lightly. "Yes, yes I'm fine Yuri but thank you for asking."

She blushes and smiles at me. She seems much more…..open today. She takes a breath and looks around. Her eyes scan the halls and passing students like she's thinking. She turns her attention back to me with a smile.

"Well, class should be starting soon. Would you like some company while you go to your first class?".

I shrug my shoulders to agree and we walk together to the same side of the school. It never occurred to me that she was in the same grade as me. She might even be in some classes, I just never pay attention to it.

We didn't really talk much, but she did seem excited to discuss books that she recently got into. She really does find her happy place in books. Her demeanor changes completely and she loses her stutter and seems less anxious. I try my best to smile and nod but honestly all the information goes in one ear and out the other. It wasn't a complete loss though, I rather enjoyed having the shy girl feel comfortable enough to actually hold a conversation.

Before long, we arrive at her class and she turns to me before entering. "I enjoyed our walk, Christian." She giggles to herself.

I try not to look at her like she's weird but um, all we did was walk. I then remind myself that I know she's kind of socially awkward so maybe she doesn't walk with people all that often. I return the smile and say "Anytime, Yuri! I guess I'll see you later at the club?"

She smiles and says. "Yes, I suppose so. I look forward to it."

I wave and turn around to walk. I can't help but feel her eyes on me as I walk down the hall to my class.

'What a weird ass girl.' I think to myself as I start my school day.

…..….

The final bell rings and I gather my belongings. I wasn't particularly in any kind of rush so I took my time, making me the last one to leave. As I stood up, I heard a voice call my name.

"Christian..?"

I look up and saw Monika's golden smile appear.

She leans herself on the doorway. "Hey you." She has some papers in her hand which I presume are for the club.

"Hey, Monika. What're you doing here?" I ask her while walking to meet up with her.

She smiles at me and shuffles her papers in her hands. "Well, I knew this was your class and I didn't see you come out so I figured I'd poke my head in is all."

"Ah, I see. Stalking me. Honestly that's a new one. Well as far as I can remember, which is like two days." I tease her while we exit the room.

"Hey now! I was not stalking! I just wanted to have company while I walked is all." She made a show to stick head up high like she was a princess before laughing at herself. I must say, she could really pass for a princess of some sort.

"Mmhmm, say what you want but it sounds like I'm going to have to carry 'Monika Repellent' everywhere I go now." I joke to her while acting like I'm spraying her down. She laughs her cute ass laugh and looks at me.

"We both know that It's going to take more than that to keep me away." She tells me matter-of-factly.

"Oh yeah?" I ponder to her. "And what would that be?"

She flashes me fake pout face. "Why? Do you want me away that badly?"

I roll my eyes and smile. "I mean no, obviously not. Just curious."

We go up the flight of stairs to the third floor before she responds.

"Well, I think that I honestly don't know what it would take, but I feel it doesn't matter because I don't see it happening."

"I see, I see." I tell her. I'm curious about what exactly that could be but I just keep it to myself. "Well truth be told, I don't know much about the situation but it does feel nice to be like….cared for in a way I guess."

"Oh really?" She says with a smirk. 'Oh shit, what am I saying?' "Are you developing a crush for me, Christian?"

I blush and look everywhere but her. "W-what? I didn't even say anything close to that! I just meant that, I don't know, it's nice to feel needed sometimes. Geez, don't make it weird…"

She busts out a laugh and jabs me with her elbow. " I love seeing you get worked up. You get defensive and its cute."

I just sigh and choose not to answer. I've given her too much ammunition to use against me.

"Besides, I don't have any parents and live alone…if you like the feeling of being cared for, I'd love to keep you more company."

For most instances, I'd feel like she was just flirting and being extra, but I could tell by the tone of her voice that she was being genuine. She looked at me with that caring expression again that sent warmth down my spine. I wish her smile wasn't so damn infectious! She really did just want to take care of me.

I coughed and tried not to look like she was getting to me. "Eh, maybe in a while when um…" I faltered because I didn't really know what to say to that. 'Why did my brain have to shut off when I need it most'

She laughs as we get to the classroom door. "My favorite part about messing with you about this stuff is….you never say no. I can see it in your eyes when you get flustered and feel embarrassed. That's why I have hope."

I hated that she was right. Why did she have to be right?

She opens up the classroom door and we both enter to start our meeting. The rest of the cast was already present. Natsuki was in her favorite spot aka the closet. Yuri was already nose deep in a novel and Sayori was…sitting alone at a desk.

I toss my bag down next to the nearest desk and gingerly approach the airhead.

"Hey, you. Whatchu up to? You know this is the Literature club, not the space out club.." I joke to her. She lightly giggles and looks at me.

"I know, I know, I was just thinking is all! It's all okay!" She tells me. I eye her suspiciously and she averts her gaze from me.

"You know Sayori.." I start while adjusting the bow on her head. "..if like, something is bothering you, you can like….tell me things. You know that, right?"

She looks at me and holds her gaze on my eyes. Her sky-blue eyes stare like she was trying to read my thoughts.

"I don't mind like chilling and talking. You can like come over and I can cook you food, or we can go out and do stuff.." I start to try to think about what we could do. 'I don't really know what is in this city,' I think to myself before she speaks up.

"Christian, it's really nothing I swear! Just a little cloudy today, hehehe!" She throws on a big smile and bounces in her seat.

"If you say so, little lady." I put my arm around her in a half hug and squeeze. She lightly lays her head on my shoulder.

"You know, Christian…" She says while puts her hand on my arm. "I'm really glad you joined the club. It's been fun seeing you so much lately."

I pat her coral hair and chuckles. "Well, you only have yourself to thank for that. You pretty much chained me up and dragged me here." I laugh and squeeze her a tad tighter.

"Hey now, meanie." She giggles.

I rub her shoulder before releasing my hug. "I'm serious though, talk to me if you need. It's not a bother in the slightest and if you even think that you are in fact a bother, I'm going to turn the tables around and bother the shit out of you until you hate me."

She laughs and looks at me. "Thank you, Christian. You really do worry too much though.."

I poke her head while I stand up. "Shush, what kind of best friend would I be if I just sat idle by and watched you get sad or have tough times without saying anything? Hm? Hm? Hm?"

I poke her gently with each 'Hm'. She laughs and moves slightly farther to dodge my pokes. "Okay, okay I see your point meanie. Hehehe~"

"I'll be around the club if you need me or want to attack me." I smirk at her before walking off. Figured I interrogated her enough and she can have her alone time if she wants.

I gaze around and see everyone still doing their own activities. I sigh and plop my ass down in my own desk. 'Well this is the Literature Club, might as well read I guess…'

I opened the book Yuri gave me and started to read the first few pages. It definitely seemed like a plot heavy novel from the summary but it wasn't anything I couldn't handle. I lay my head on my hand and start the book.

I read for like 5 minutes until my concentration is broken by someone clear their throat by me. I look up and see Yuri in front of me, holding a book.

"Oh, hey Yuri." I say to her. She offers a smile and sits down at the desk beside me.

"Hey, Christian. I couldn't help but notice you reading and it made me happy, heehee~." She giggles shyly at me.

'What is up with this girl? One day she's shy as hell and the next she actually approaches me to talk.'

"Yeah? Why's that?" I ask her while closing my book. She noticeably fidgets in her seat and shifts her weight around while thinking of a response.

"Well, I know you weren't extremely accustomed to literature, to it was nice seeing you take a step to start reading." She holds on to her lavender locks, awaiting a response from me.

"Well, I've never been against reading and you did give me this book so I might as well read it!"

She blushes and looks away for a second before turning back to me with a soft look in her eyes.

"You know, I was skeptical when Sayori told us about a new member arriving, but after meeting you, I'm very glad you showed up."

Something about her being sweet and nice makes me uneasy. Her whole demeanor was much different today than it has been. She seemed less fidgety, she stuttered way less, she was more forward and confident. It wasn't necessarily a bad thing, but it still put me on edge.

"Say, Yuri, you seem much more…open today than I've noticed the past few days."

She smiles to herself before locking her purple eyes with my own.

"Well, I've been reading about how expressing your emotions positively can lead to a healthier mind. I decided that I should try and work on it. And you noticed. It's very endearing hehehe~." She really wasn't kidding! I don't know if I can keep up!

I clear my throat. "Well, just don't strain yourself okay?"

She giggles as me and stares at me. Her face starts to redden as she looks me all over. And I mean all over. It sort of makes me…uncomfortable. It then reminds me of the dream I had last night.

The dream with Yuri, where she was crazy obsessed with me. Where she wanted nothing but me to love her forever. The way she was in the dream really scared me and I really hope that's not how she is in real life.

'Well of course it's not how she is, that was a dream!' I look up and lock eyes with her again. Her eyes glaze over and she clutches her hands to her chest. I get a feeling of unease. I need to distract her from whatever may be on her mind.

"Got something on your mind, Yuri?" 'Yeah sure, lets distract her by asking what she's literally thinking about' I scold myself.

Her eyes dart around the room for a second before settling on me. She shifts in her plastic seat and takes a deep breath.

"Nothing to serious, if I'm being entirely honest with you. I'm just thinking about how much healthier I've felt these past few days."

I nod as I listen. Thank Christ she didn't say anything weird about me.

"Well I'm glad to see a positive change! Keep it up, okay?" I tell her while placing the book into my bag and standing up.

I decided it'd be best to find myself I a different situation. I really like talking to Yuri but it's a little too much for me right now, especially with my mind wandering to what's been plaguing me from these past few nights.

"I'm going to go check on Monika and make sure she's doing okay." I tell the lavender girl. She has a noticeable look of disappointment.

"Well, we'll talk when we share poems in a little bit!" She says to me. I simply smile and turn to go to Monika.

I take a deep breath as I get to her desk, but apparently it was a little too noticeable.

"Everything okay with you?" She quizzically asks me. She stops flipping over the assortment of papers and pamphlets that were on her desk to face her attention towards me.

I cleared my throat and pull a chair up next to her. "Me? Yeah why wouldn't I be?"

She chuckles and looks clearly pleased with me coming over to her.

"Just wondering….no one usually audibly sighs for nothing." She says.

I just shrug my shoulders and lean back in my chair.

"What made you want to come over? Did you decide you wanted to spend some time with me, hmm?" She teases me while batting her eyes at me.

I roll my eyes and try to hide my slight embarrassment. "No! I mean not that I don't want to not spend time with you." She giggles at me and rests her head in her hand.

"Mhmm so you did want to? I don't mind. I like your company, cutie." She walks her hand over and lays it on my arm.

"Monika.." I groan and she laughs at me.

"Christian you're way too easy to tease. It makes it all that much more fun." She laughs and stares at me.

I look around the room at everything or anything other than her eyes cause I wasn't trying to look like a damn tomato.

"If you must know, I was having a conversation with Yuri but I just felt weird so I came over here. Nothing too serious."

Her expression turns to slight confusion. "Oh yeah? Weird how?" She kind of focused much more attention now. She shifted her weight and her demeanor was serious.

"Well…" It made me slightly uncomfortable how the air turned to its serious tone. "I'm not entirely sure, just how she was much more open and stuff." As it came out, it made me kind of sound like I was just complaining that she was talking to me. 'Wow I really am letting these dreams get to me.'

I toyed with my blazer's buttons. Monika exhaled and stared at me. "Sounds like maybe she just took a liking to you is all. I'd look at it as more of a blessing, given how she normally is."

I just sigh and look over at Yuri. She was once again set in her book, no doubt lost in her own world in her head.

"Yeah, maybe you're right. I dunno. I don't mean to sound ungrateful, I just have been having-" I stop myself from talking about my dreams. It's not really something that I feel like explaining to anyone, especially Monika. I don't want her worrying about me like that.

"…..Having what?" Monika asks. I shake my head but she doesn't look like she wants to drop it. "Christian, has something seriously been bothering you?" She grips my wrist and shows concern in her green eyes.

"It's been nothing Monika, just me adapting to all this-" I gesture to everyone and the classroom. "It's still weird having no recollection of my previous life and having to act like I've been here my whole life. But that's it. Nothing to seriously worry about."

She leans closer to me. "You know you can talk to me right? I know I come on too strong sometimes, especially given…. Our situation.." She sighs while her eyes glisten. "But I really do care about you. If something is seriously plaguing you, I want you to talk to me about it. I want to help you through anything and everything." She squeezes my hand with hers and stares like she's awaiting a response.

I place my hand on hers and hold her gaze. "Monika, I'm fine. I'm not going to lie to you, I have been dealing with some weird ass shit lately. But it's nothing too serious to worry about, or hell even something I even know I want to bring up."

She slides her chair over and wraps her arms around my arm, hugging it and laying her head on my shoulder. Her long, brunette hair draped itself over my shoulder on either side.

"It's okay if you can't tell me now, but I want to help you." Her voice bled with concern and affection.

I don't know why but having her like this felt amazing. It made me wonder if we actually were an item before I lost my memory. It just felt nice having a beautiful girl care for me.

I planted a kiss on her head and laid my head on hers. I felt her grip tighten on my arm. I could've sat like this for the rest of the club meeting but realized that we probably would draw attention from the other girls.

She took a deep breath and she buried her face in my arm. I felt heat rise to my face and I started to fidget. I had a weird instinct to hold her and stay in this position but this seriously wasn't the place for that.

"Er-Monika..we're still the clubroom you know…" I shyly say while looking around. She giggles and lifts her face up to mine.

"What's the matter? Getting embarrassed dear?" She leans up and kisses my cheek. I stare at her for a second before sitting up straight again and creating distance between us again. She just laughs at her little victory and watches me try to calm down.

"Monika.." I complain. She really was starting to get to me, and it was frustrating. I don't know why, I just didn't want to be in that kind of situation right now. But she makes it so damn hard not to.

I glance back at her staring at me and I blush. It's like she knows she's winning. 'wait winning? Why am I admitting to her winning?'

I'm broken out of my thoughts as Monika stands up to address the class. "Okay, everyone! Poem time!"

…..….

I shared my poem with Monika first, mostly because she was right next to me and I was kind of lazy from the situation prior.

She eyed it over, a smile enveloping her face. She must've re-read it several times and she said the words to her herself like she was taking every part of the poem in. She finally finishes and looks back at me while handing me the poem.

"You know, I really love reading about what's on your mind. Or rather, what's in your mind. Its very intriguing and I love getting to know the real you."

I laugh nervously to myself and rub the back of my head.

"Yeah well, you know, it's much easier that way. Besides, I honestly don't think too much about what I write, I just kind of go with the flow on whatever pours out and hope it's good enough for the club."

She chuckles and props herself on her desk. "Yeah? That's one way to do it. Besides, that really means that everything that's on that paper there is genuine. I can't wait to see what else you come up with." She flashes a sweet smile at me and slightly blushes.

"Well as long as you're enjoying them then that's good enough for me." I tell her.

She turns her head to the side slightly and smirks. "You trying to impress me, mister?"

I roll my eyes at her and smirk back. "I mean no, but you being the president and all, it's a damn good confidence booster if you like them." I raise an eyebrow at her. "Unless, that is, you just say those things cause you're trying to get some bonus points."

She chuckles and steps a tad closer. "Me? Brownie points? Oh, please." She gives me a smirk and cocks an eyebrow.

Does she think I have weaknesses? Or know them? Cause I sure as hell don't and something is working against me.

"Okay, okay I get it." I chuckle at her. "I think it's time to rotate, don't want to get jumped by other girls craving my attention." I flash a wink her direction.

"Well okay then Mr. Ladies-Man. We'll talk later."

With that, I turn to see who else is available. Natsuki and Sayori were chatting away with their poems and from the looks of it, Sayori was giving her a hard time. No doubt about her being cute or something. That left…Yuri.

She was in the back of the room at a desk staring in my direction, like she was patiently waiting. She held her lavender hair in her hands and rubbed her fingers through it. Her purple eyes were fixated on me like I was the only one in the clubroom.

If I'm being completely honest, Yuri was indeed a gorgeous girl. I mean all the club girls are beautiful and have their own quirks that go with who they are that make them special, but I did like Yuri's shy demeanor. It's just, I don't think that could ever happen between me and her... Especially because of….Monika.

I shake those thoughts out of my head and approach the tall lovely.

She blushes at me and shoots me a cute look.

"Thinking about me? I saw you standing still, lost in thought and staring my direction." Yuri says while sitting up straight.

I internally scream. 'Shit, she saw me staring." I decided to go with sort of a half lie.

"Well honestly, I was just thinking about everyone in the club room and how I'm surprised on how much of a good time this has turned out to be."

She nods her head like she was apprehending everything I was saying. "I see. Well like I stated before, it's a pleasure having you in the Literature Club, Christian."

I smile at her and lift up my poem. "Well if that's the case, care to read my poor literary piece of paper?"

She smiles and reaches for it. "Yes. Yes I would."

She looks it over for what I feel like is ages. She had to have read it like 5 times now. I awkwardly stand and look around, trying to look occupied. I cleared my throat and she jumps in place.

"Oh er-sorry I forgot to start speaking!" She tells me.

"It's okay, Yuri. What did you think of it?"

She smiles widely. "I think it's incredible! I love your use of metaphors, it really adds to the atmosphere of the poem."

I nod. "Well I'm glad you liked it. Truth be told, I kind of just wing it. I write what comes to my head and hope it's well enough for the club."

She chuckles to herself and places the poem on her desk. "Well I think that you do a very good job. It's clear you're a natural when it comes to poetry. Obviously, you're still learning and there's nothing wrong with that, but you're excelling admirably."

I sigh and pick up my poem. "Well, thank your for your insight Yuri. It's always a treat."

She giggles and blushes to herself. "I'm happy you think so Christian…"

She seems to drift off into her thoughts so I clear my throat again. "Er-Yuri, can I read your poem now?"

She holds her eyes on mine. "I would love to share it. If it's with you, anyways."

I chuckle nervously and take the poem from her. It's pretty metaphorical and hard to decipher what it's about. I try my best to understand but my brain can only work so hard.

I hand the poem back to her. "Wow Yuri, this is pretty damn good."

She smiles widely and takes hold of her paper. "I'm so happy to hear you liked it, Christian. After the fight with Natsuki yesterday, we decided it'd be best to write about a similar topic so we could have an easier discussion."

I nod. "Wow, that's neat! And I'm very glad to see you two working on being better when it comes to each other's differences. I don't know either of you two well at all but I knew I didn't like what I saw."

She sighs and sheepishly looks at the floor.

"I really didn't mean to put a bad image on us. Or the club for that matter.."

I lay my hand on her shoulder.

"Yuri, don't worry. It takes a lot more than that to scare me away." I flash a wide smile and laugh at myself.

She chuckles and sighs. "Well I'm glad you enjoy it so much.."

I was about to respond when I saw a coral blur out of my peripheral vision. I turn just in time to get a rib-cracking hug by none other than the air-head herself.

I grunt and lean myself onto the desk. "Jesus, Sayori. One of these days you're going to seriously injure me beyond repair."

She giggles to herself and I hear Natsuki speak up.

"Yeah well maybe she should do that then. Like geez, stop holding up the poem sharing! You and Yuri getting all lovey-dovey or something?" She puts her hands on her hips and smirks at us.

Yuri looks at the floor and buries her head in her hair. "Na-natuski! Why would you say such a thing…"

Natsuki busts up laughing. "Oh, come on! I couldn't help myself; I just love seeing your reactions. It's way too easy."

I roll my eyes and chuckle. "Well since you're here, mind if I read your poem, Cupcake?"

Natsuki shoots me a glare. "Hey watch it! Don't call me that!"

I laugh at her and take the poem out of her hand swiftly before she can react. "Oh what, I can't pick on you back? Come on now, who else am I supposed to pick on."

She huffs and looks at Sayori. "Well for starters, you can keep on messing with Sayori. That's always pretty funny."

Sayori, who was now sitting on a desk after giving Yuri her poem, fake pouted.

"Hey now, meanies! It's not nice to pick on someone!"

Me and Natsuki share a laugh. "Who said anything about being nice?" I stick my tongue out at her and turn my attention to Natsuki's poem.

It is clearly a very her poem. It uses a much simpler vernacular but that doesn't deter it from being a good poem. She also wrote with a similar topic that Yuri did, it being about a beach. Yuri's was more serious and metaphorical while Natsuki's was sweet and light-hearted.

I hand the pink-haired baker back her poem. "I think it's pretty good, 'lil lady!"

She grabs it from me. "Well duh, of course it is. I'm a pro after all." Me offers a huge smile with her hands on her hips.

"Yeah, yeah.." I say as I grab Sayori's poem from her. She practically bounces on the desk she's on in anticipation. It's a very nice sight to see after how down she has been earlier. Maybe that chat we had and some alone time was really all she needed.

I laugh to myself as I look over her poem.

Bottles

I pop off my scalp like the lid of a cookie jar.

It's the secret place where I keep all my dreams

Little balls of sunshine, all rubbing together like a bundle of kittens.

I reach inside with my thumb and forefinger and pluck one out

It's warm and tingly

But there's no time to waste! I put it in a bottle to keep it safe

And I put the bottle on the shelf with all of the other bottles

Happy thoughts, happy thoughts, happy thoughts in bottles, all in a row

My collection makes me lots of friends

Each bottle a starlight to make amends

Sometimes my friend feels a certain way

Down comes a bottle to save the day

Night after night, more dreams

Friend after friend, more bottles

Deeper and deeper my fingers go

Like exploring a dark cave, discovering the secrets hiding in the nooks and crannies

Digging and digging, scraping and scraping

I blow dust off my bottle caps

It doesn't feel like time elapsed

My empty shelf could use some more

My friends look through my locked front door

Finally, all done. I open up, and in come my friends

In they come, in such a hurry. Do they want my bottles that much?

I frantically put them from the shelf, one after the other

Holding them out to each and every friend

Each and every bottle

But everytime I let one go, it shatters against the tile between my feet

Happy thoughts, happy thoughts, happy thoughts in shard, all over the floor

They were supposed to be for my friends, my friends who aren't smiling

They're all shouting, pleading for something

But all I hear is echo, echo, echo, echo, echo

Inside my head

I look up at Sayori who was beaming my direction.

"Er, Sayori? This is good but definitely not what I expected from you."

She chuckles. "Meanie! I can write anything! I told you I was going to write the best poem ever today!"

"Yeah, but normally you just radiate happy and giddy so, it's a contrast is all."

She bounds over and pokes my head. "Well like I said yesterday, I love happy and sad."

"Yeah, I guess you're right." I nudge her with my elbow.

Monika comes over and gets everyone's attention.

"Okay, everyone! I think that about wraps it up for today! I can't wait to continue this onward for tomorrow! And remember, tomorrow's Friday so give it your best for the week!" She shoots a wink my direction.

The girls chit-chat amongst themselves as they gather their belongings to exit. Sayori bounds up to me. "Hey, Christian! Ready to go home?"

I nod and shoulder my bag. With that, we head out the door and head home.

…...….…...

The air outside was cold, biting into my skin as we walked. I'm going to definitely need to remember to wear a coat tomorrow. The snow has stop falling, but everything was layered in soft, powdery snow. It was a beautiful sight, despite how hunched up my body was to preserve heat.

Of course there was tons of almost-slips from the two of us (I mostly almost fell because the air-head would grab me and almost take me down with her) but other than that, the walk home was quiet except for the slight crunching of the snow beneath our feet.

As we approach our houses, Sayori speaks up.

"Christian, I'm sorry about today."

I glance at her. "Sorry for what?"

"Well, I got a little too weak and it showed. I don't like to worry people. Its bittersweet when people care about me."

I slide my hand on her arm. "You know you aren't a bother when you're upset, right? You're literally a human being. Everybody gets sad, Sayori."

"Yes, but that's not exactly what I meant though." She sighs at me. Her giddy behavior that surfaced itself during the poem reading once again was suppressed by the lower-energy demeanor she showed all day.

"Well, what do you mean then? How could I help? At this point we were standing in front of her house. She refused to look at me. Her face wore a pained expression and looked like she was holding back tears.

"You don't understand at all, Christian. It hurts when people care about me. It feels bittersweet when people try to cheer me up. It's like thorns worming its way around my heart. Why should I get out of bed in the morning? Why should I wake up? Why should I eat? Why do anything when I know how truly worthless I am? Sometimes I wish I could just….I could just….disappear."

I just stand there stunned at what I just heard. Before I could even react, she turns and walks to her house without a word.

My mind immediately rushes to the dreams I've been dealing with. My stress and anxiety, all eating away at me even though I've been trying so hard to get past it. She says I don't understand, but that couldn't be farther from the truth, for I've never felt so out of place and empty in my entire life.

"Sayori, wait!" I jog up to her and grab her arm. She still doesn't turn to me and I can see her body shaking while she lightly sobs. I pull her into a hug and lay my chin on her head. She doesn't hug me back, just keeps her arms at her side.

"Just because you have darkness in your head, doesn't mean you're alone. Clouds will come and they will stay. You can keep a smile on your face and hide how you truly feel all day long, but you will never be alone. I have been having the worst week of my life mentally and it's terrible. I have been avoiding talking to you and Monika about it because it scares me. I'm scared of what's happening to me, I don't understand what it all means and I just feel worthless. I've never felt so out of place in my life and my mind has been dangerously straying from me. So, before you go thinking that you are the only one in thousands and thousands of people who deal with darkness, just know I still haven't found my own light."

After several moments, Sayori wordlessly lifted her arms up to reciprocate my hug.

It was quiet around us, except for a small breeze that manifested and boosted the bite in the cold air. I just held onto my friend, who just came to light to having an infected mind.

I don't know why I gave her that little bit of information but watching and hearing her beat herself up really ate at me. I needed to relate to her, and that was the only reason I knew how.

"Christian….." Sayori starts, her voice low. "Is that true? About….you?"

I run my fingers through her soft hair. "Yeah. It is. I almost told Monika today but I just couldn't bring myself to talk about it. I haven't woken up once this week without a pathetic cry session following it or me being drenched in sweat. Or both if I'm super lucky."

She was quiet once again. I sighed and broke the embrace. "But making others happy has been the one thing that has numbed the bullshit. That's why after seeing you today, I kind of subconsciously decided that I wanted to help you. There's a reason why you're my bestest friend and I'm the only one allowed to be upset." I gently poke her head and she giggles.

"Yeah, but you don't deserve to be upset either!"

I chuckle and look up to the sky. "Yeah well, If there is any way for me to keep your spirits up, and everyone else in the club for that matter, then I feel like I can rest easy."

More silence falls between us as we both get lost in thought. I see Sayori shake and it occurs to me that I've kept us out in the cold for far too long.

"Er, we should get out of this cold, I'm sorry for keeping you cold little lady." I take her keys and open the door for her (Shut up, I know I had to check different keys before I found the right one, keep your comments to yourself). She walks inside and turns to me as I hand her the keys.

"Don't forget I'm right next door, just a door knock or a call away, okay air-head?"

She giggles weakly. "I won't, meanie."

I give her a small smile and turn to head to my own house. She watches me walk down her walkway, and when I get to sidewalk I hear her front door close. I sigh and make my way to my own place, getting inside.