A/N: I'm so glad you guys are enjoying this story. Thanks again to Elle for her help with this one.
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"Mike," she warned. "I think I'm gonna be sick."
Mike's face blanched and he immediately rose from his seat, making his way over to Donna and gently placing his hands on her shoulders.
"Do you think you can make it to the restroom?" he asked.
She nodded slightly, her nausea forcing her to keep as still as possible. On shaky legs, she allowed Mike to guide her up and help her out of Harvey's office. When they arrived at the restroom, Donna barely made it to the cubicle before collapsing, and Mike hovered awkwardly behind her, uncomfortable at the thought of holding her hair back, but wanting to shield her from the humiliation of being seen by any colleagues who happen to wander by. Donna couldn't help but wish it was Harvey with her instead, despite him being the reason for her upset stomach. She thinks that after the night before, he would probably hold her hair, rub her back and whisper soft reassurances, and she could really be doing with that right about now.
After a few moments of retching, Donna found the strength to move back from the toilet seat, but remained on the floor, breathing heavily while she attempted to regain some semblance of composure.
"You good?" Mike asked her.
"Mhmm, just gonna…" she trailed off as she waved her hand in the general direction of the sinks.
Despite her vagueness, Mike seemed to understand, lending her a hand to help her stand. She rinsed out her mouth and took a few seconds to properly catch her breath before turning to her friend.
"I'm sorry you had to witness that, Mike. I think I might be in shock," she told him.
Mike shook his head, assuring her that there was no reason to apologise.
"I think I would have the same reaction if it was somehow Rach facing… uhmm… what Harvey's facing," he admitted.
Donna tilted her head, wondering if he somehow knew about the recent development in her and Harvey's relationship, but his eyes held no glimmer, and she almost laughed to herself at the fact he could draw that comparison anyway. They really have always been as close as the almost married couple.
"Where is Harvey, anyway? Is he coming here?" she asked quietly, unsure of what she wanted the answer to be.
"Yeah, he's on his way." Mike told her. "Should be here any minute, I think. Are you ready to head back out?"
She steeled herself against the information and shrugged, not wanting to face everyone, but knowing she couldn't hide in here forever.
"Yeah, I'm good, I think."
….
Waiting in Harvey's office for his arrival was torturous, but it gave Donna time to digest what was happening and gather herself together enough to be able to carry out what she hoped would be a coherent conversation with him. When he entered, Donna was pacing the room, fidgeting with her fingers and breathing erratically. She didn't notice him enter, only looking toward him when he cleared his throat. Her bloodshot eyes stole his breath in the worst way, and his shoulders slumped as he let down his wall, letting out a soft, "Donna-".
She held his gaze, waiting for him to apologise, or say it was all a big misunderstanding or do something to make it all better, but as usual, he was silent, and she huffed, rolling her eyes at him.
"You're an asshole, you know that?"
The words felt like a slap to the face, so much so that he physically recoiled.
"Donna, please, can you just let me explain?" he pleaded, but she was worked up now, the questions that had been rolling around in her mind since she heard the news tumbling out.
"What happened to having faith in yourself? I thought we agreed you would wait on the jury."
"We did, I was going to, I promise. But, I got there and I overheard Rachel trying to talk Mike out of making a deal, and I knew he'd do it if I didn't beat him to it, and I couldn't stand there and watch him throw away two years of his life for something we all know was my fault. What kind of man would that make me? I couldn't do it to him."
"But you could do it to me."
"What? No, that's not what I-"
"Did you even think about me?" she cut him off. "When you were out there playing the hero? Did I even cross your mind? I've been worried sick, Harvey. Literally sick. What am I supposed to do? If you're not here how am I supposed to—?"
She was ranting at this stage, and he didn't know how else to stop her except by pulling her into his arms, rubbing soothing circles on her back and whispering into her hair.
"I'm sorry, Donna. Of course I thought of you. You don't ever leave my goddamn mind. But I don't know how to make this better."
She was crying now, and she reached a hand up to wipe a tear, pulling back as her brain processed what he had told her moments before.
"Wait… did you say two years? Is that how long you'll be gone?"
The enormity of what he had done hit him upon hearing those words leave her lips. Two years. He was going to prison for two years. That's sevens hundred and thirty nights he would have to spend without her, and he knew he'd survived more than that before, but now that he'd had a taste of what their life could be like, he wasn't sure he'd survive even one more night alone.
She could see the answer in his glassy eyes and that was all it took for her to disintegrate into his arms once more.
"What am I gonna do without you for two whole years, Harvey?" she asked.
"Hey." He put two fingers under her chin and moved her head so she was looking at him. "You are the strongest woman I know. You'll be just fine, I know it. Now, what do you say we get out of here, because I don't want to spend my last few days of freedom in this firm."
She stiffened at his suggestion, moving out of his embrace and avoiding his gaze.
"Donna, what is it?" he asked, taken aback at her sudden coldness.
"Harvey, I think… I really need to be alone right now. I think it's best if I go back to my apartment by myself."
Harvey swallowed down the lump in his throat, reluctantly agreeing to her suggestion. He understood that he had hurt her, went against his word after giving his everything to her, but she was the one person he wanted by his side, all the time, really, but especially now, when he knew their time was so limited.
"Okay, well, um… you know where to find me if you change your mind. I really am so sorry Donna, you have to know that."
"I do," she assured him, closing her eyes against a fresh wave of tears. She walked out of his office without looking at him and Harvey swore he could physically feel his heart shattering.
…
Donna was two glasses of red and too many tissues to count in when she heard a knock on her door that evening. She knew it wasn't him, but still, her heart was pounding in hopeful anticipation. She had meant what she said earlier, she didn't want to be with him tonight, but she did crave his arms around her, his soothing tone convincing her that everything was going to be okay, his brown eyes telling her he believed that, and she cursed herself for wanting it to be Harvey on the other side of her door. Swinging the door open, her gaze met Rachel's as she did her best to hide her disappointment.
"Hey, Donna," her best friend began. "I thought you might need a friend tonight. Or you can tell me to go away, if you want, I won't be offended. But umm, I brought ice cream, if that helps my case?"
Donna relaxed her shoulders, unable to stop the smile on her lips at the mention of her favorite comfort food. With one hand still on the door frame, she reached out to pull Rachel in with the other.
"Any chance you brought tissues, too?" she asked. "Because I can't seem to stop crying, and I think I might just run out."
…
They were perched on either side of the couch in Donna's living area, each nursing a glass of red, wen Rachel let out an excited squeal.
"Wait, so let me get this straight. You and Harvey?"
Donna let out an exasperated sigh. "Yes."
"Harvey Specter," the brunette confirmed.
"Yes."
"Last night, you and Harvey slept together."
"Yes, but Rachel, can we-"
"And yet you're here with me instead of spending as much time as possible with him while you still can."
Rachel regretted the words as soon as they left her mouth, noticing the shift in Donna's demeanor, and she quickly set down her glass, moving closer to her friend, and reaching out to pull her into a sideways hug. Donna hadn't spoken yet but her eyes were welling up and Rachel instinctively knew what the red head was going to say before a single word left her mouth.
"I think I hate him a little bit right now," she spoke anyway, and Rachel let her, rubbing soothing patterns in her back as Donna continued. "I know it's selfish of me, and I hate that I feel like this because if it wasn't him it would be Mike, and I'm so glad it isn't Mike, really, I am." She paused to catch her breath, sitting up a little straighter and wiping a tear from her cheek. "I just don't know what I'm going to do now, Rach. I don't even have a job anymore." She laughed at that, realising she hadn't even considered her job before this moment, and that really just proved how ridiculous this entire situation was.
Rachel sighed. She knew how much Harvey meant to Donna. She has seen them together, witnessed them interact in a way that only those whose very souls were intertwined could. Despite her strength, her intelligence and her unwavering confidence, Donna Paulsen's entire world revolved around Harvey Specter, so Rachel understood why Donna was devastated. She cleared her throat, waiting for Donna to look at her before she spoke.
"I know that you're upset with him. I get that. I'd probably feel the same way if it were Mike. But, Donna, don't you think you might regret this a month or two down the line? Don't you think there might be nights when you'll lie in bed alone, wishing you had soaked up every second you could with him when you had the chance?"
The words cut right through Donna and her breath hitched in realisation. Rachel was right, of course. Her anger at Harvey was real, but it was fleeting. Missing him wouldn't be. Missing him would be a constant, gnawing ache in her gut that wouldn't leave until he returned to her side. She knew this because she had lived the last decade with a duller version as her constant companion, and the thought propelled her off her seat in search of a pair of shoes and a jacket.
"Rach, I need to—"
"I know, Donna. Go. I'll tidy up, see myself out."
In all the years they knew each other, she had never been more grateful for Rachel's selflessness, and she squeezed her shoulder in thanks before turning toward the door.
"Hey, Donna?" Rachel called after her.
She turned only her head back, her impatience evident in the way her body was still angled toward the exit.
"I know this sounds strange, given the circumstances, but I'm really happy for you."
She gave her a genuine smile at that, shrugging her shoulders before replying, "Thanks, Rachel. You know what? I'm happy for me too."
…
A/N: Please let me know what you think!