Sasuke was eating his delicious tomato salad under a tree at training ground 7. No traps, no teammates, and no senseis. Just him and this tomato salad. Heavy on the tomatoes.
He set his bowl down on the small blanket he brought as he picked up his canteen for a long drink. It was a nice day out, albeit a bit hot. Though this made the experience all the more relaxing.
He finished with his water and made to pick up his tomato salad, until a certain orange clad genin popped out of nowhere, falling out of the tree the Uchiha was sitting underneath.
Wait.
No.
NO!
Not the salad! Not the tomato salad! This is a crime! A crime to all tomatoes and salads everywhere! But mostly the tomatoes!
Sasuke glared at Naruto, who seemed oblivious to the heinous act he had just committed. Until he was put off by what Naruto said next.
"Sasukeeee, how do you get all the girls to like you?! Let me in on the secret pleaseeee!"
Eye twitching, the raven haired genin pointed at his now deceased bowl of salad. "For starters, that's why. You don't just go on jumping on people's meals! Show some manners!"
"Teach me how!"
Sasuke reeled back. "Hell no! An idiot like you doesn't even know his right foot from his left! I'd bet you don't even know what proper manners even mean!"
"I do!" Naruto protested back. "It's being all nice and proper all the time like stupid rich dirtbags!"
…
…
"Yeah, no." Sasuke sighed. "Fine. I'll show you some stuff, then go away. Go torture Kakashi or something rather than pester me."
"ALRIGHT!"
"Ok Naruto. You see me right?"
"Yep!"
"Very first thing to note, I'm sitting calmly at the table. No fidgeting, no jumping, no moving. Got that?"
"Yep!"
Sasuke stared down at the other genin. "What is it I'm doing?"
"Sit calm, no moving."
"Alright." Sasuke huffed. "You see me picking up these utensils? See as I pick up the food, and eat it calmly, no rushing, no scarfing, no acting like it's the last meal I'd ever eat."
"I mean, it could be."
"Not the point, Naruto."
…"Ok."
"You try."
Naruto made his way to the food, and sat in front of it. Looking from the food to Sasuke, he reached for his fork and made to take some food from the salad bowl. He could feel Sasuke's eyes on him and tried not to fidget too much. 'Doesn't help that he seems to be staring into my soul.'
However, in his moment of distraction, he missed the salad and stabbed the rim of the bowl, sending it toppling on it's side. Naruto yelped and flailed his arms, knocking over the two candles on the low table. Right after, he accidentally let go of his fork, sending it into the wall and knocking over a painting. He panicked at the sight of the fire from the candles leaking out onto the table, and tried to use the napkins to put it out, setting them on fire in the process.
"Ohhh no! Oh no! No! No! What do we do? What do we do!?" Naruto panicked. Until he got drenched, along with the table. He looked up to see Sasuke behind him with a large pail of water. Face completely expressionless. "Hehe. Uhhh, Guess the fire's out now?"
"..."
"..."
Sasuke set the pail down and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Only you Naruto. Only you could cause such a mess from trying to eat with a fork. I can't man. Go ask Sakura or something. There's nothing I can do. You're hopeless."
Naruto got up and brushed any remaining ashes off, ignoring the fact he is still dripping wet. "Maybe I will! You're such a bad teacher!" With that, he stuck out his tongue at the Uchiha and jumped out of the broken window.
Sasuke did a double take. 'Since when was the window broken?'
Looking around a bit more, there was a lot more than just a broken window. There was a fork in the wall where the hangers for a painting was, said painting in pieces on the ground. The table and napkins are just charred and in ashes, water was absolutely everywhere, it was a nightmare. Sasuke looked to where Naruto sat and groaned. The orange clad boy sure thought he was a riot, leaving in such a huff.
Of course he would leave fish there, where'd he even get that raw fish?
...
He sighed, and proceeded to start cleaning the completely destroyed room.
Meanwhile, Naruto scoured the town for his next teacher, looking for the telltale signs of her pink hair. A girl must surely know some things about manners. Right?
*1/4*