Chapter Ten- Kawaki
As the summer progressed, I managed to forget about all the drama in my life, at least for a while. I knew Boruto didn't like that I was going out to sea with Naruto so much, but I'd given away all my savings and I needed to make money and it was also a nice distraction. I wanted to be with Boruto too much and sometimes I had thoughts that I shouldn't have been having. Or at least that's how I felt. I wanted things that I wasn't sure Boruto was ready for, so I had to do what I had to do to maintain control.
I was out on the deck checking on everything when Naruto came and found me, getting me to sit with him. I never expected him to tell me things were about to be changing in his work. He'd been offered a bigger contract that would last two years, but he'd be going longer distances. Sometimes he would be away for weeks or even months at a time. And there would be less fishing and more cargo runs.
When I confided in him about my thoughts on quitting school to work more, he turned thoughtful but didn't seem upset about it. I'd been training with him for a long time. I knew a lot. Naruto then told me that he would take me on full time if that's what I wanted, but I would have no choice but to be out on the sea for those long periods of time.
Boruto wouldn't like it. I knew he wouldn't… because I didn't really like it myself. A job was a job, and this was a job I truly loved, but that didn't make the thought of leaving home for so long any easier. Naruto tried to assure me that we'd still come home and would even take longer breaks in between shipments, and it was only for two years… but leaving Boruto for months at a time? I didn't know… he'd probably hate me just for considering it.
After telling Naruto I would do some thinking on it, while really meaning I'd consult with Boruto, he left me and I sat out on the deck wondering how that conversation would go. Either way I thought it out, he was going to be pissed. Me quitting school to work, not good. Me leaving for weeks-months even, definitely not good. I really didn't like the idea of being gone for so long and not being able to contact Boruto… but the money would be good and I needed to build my savings back up.
There was a lot to take into consideration, but I wouldn't be able to come to a decision until I knew how Boruto felt. Because if he really didn't want me to do it… I didn't think I'd be able to. He was waiting for us excitedly when we made it back home but I couldn't match that excitement, because there was still so much on my mind. I didn't want him to be mad at me. I didn't want to make him sad.
"Welcome back." He greeted. "So, how was it?"
"Good." I managed but made it no further than that as I strolled past him, eager to get inside the house. I thought I was ready… but I wasn't. I needed to avoid him so I didn't just blurt everything right out. But he wasn't going to let me.
"Hey, what's the rush?" He chuckled as he walked behind me. "Are you that hungry?"
"Starving. Need a shower. Gotta call Iwabe. Need to sleep." I just started rambling things I needed to do like an idiot and grimaced at how ridiculous I sounded, making it to the house in record time. I only made it halfway up the stairs before Boruto grabbed my wrist to stop me and I sighed, turning around to face him. "Dirty. Gotta go. What?"
"Aren't you forgetting something?" He asked and pointed to his lips.
"Ah, that." I hummed and dipped down, kissing him quicker than I ever had. "Okay, bye." I said and then ran the rest of the way to my room.
I was worried… about crushing him. I couldn't help feeling so horrible about the whole situation, but I was only more and more convinced that I needed to take the job. This was going to be difficult, and I couldn't get it out of my head during my shower, while I dressed or even on my way downstairs for dinner.
Boruto's eyes locked on me the instant I walked into the kitchen and followed every move I made. Shit, he was already suspicious. Great. I fixed my plate and joined everyone at the table in my usual seat beside Boruto. Feeling as if everyone's eyes were on me, I didn't look away from my plate and I finished it quickly, thanking Hinata for the food before cleaning my area and hurrying up to my room.
When I got into my room, I got my phone and sent a text to Iwabe. While I waited for his response I sat on the edge of my bed, leg bouncing in my anxiousness. I didn't know why I was stressing so much, I needed to just let it go. I was quickly reminded why I was feeling such a way when Boruto slammed my door open, scowling at me. He was totally going to kick my ass.
"Why the hostility?" I asked, clearing my throat and avoiding his gaze. Before he could respond my phone went off and I opened the text from Iwabe, thankful for the distraction.
"Why are you acting like this?" He asked and then added, "Himawari was trying to talk to you and you didn't even notice."
My hands fumbled with my phone until I dropped it and then I got up, cursing myself for everything I could think of. I walked towards the door but Boruto was blocking my way and I didn't, or rather, couldn't bring myself to look at him.
"Let me go apologize to her." I muttered, feeling like shit for not paying her any attention just because I was so caught up in my head. But then again, I was a little annoyed that Boruto didn't tell me she had said something while we were eating.
"I handled it, she's fine." He sighed. "But still . . . what's up with you?" He asked, brow furrowing.
"I didn't ask you to handle anything." I mumbled and was thankful my phone started ringing at that exact moment. I turned my back to him and went to grab it off the floor. It was Iwabe. I answered right before the call was missed and Iwabe was loud as hell on the other end.
"Damn it, thought you wouldn't answer you shithead. I'm on the way."
He sounded drunk but it wasn't any business of mine. "Okay. Meet me at the hideout?"
Iwabe hiccuped before responding. "Ya. Fifteen minutes. I got some beer and shit."
I wanted weed not beer and shit. "Long as you got what I need… I'll be there. Fifteen."
"Hurry up." He said and then the call ended.
Standing, I dropped my phone on the bed and went to my dresser to get some clothes, ignoring the fact that Boruto was standing in the doorway, watching me.
"Since when does Iwabe know about your hideout?" He huffed and I didn't have to look to know he was pouting.
"What does that have to do with anything?" I scoffed, unable to believe he was asking me that after all these years. I found a pair of shorts and pushed down my pajama bottoms, ready to get dressed and run away.
Boruto gasped. "Hey! Don't do that in front of me!" He scolded. "And it matters to me, I thought I was the only one who knew . . . . what's with the attitude? You're hiding something, aren't you?"
Lifting my feet out of the pajamas, I finally looked at him curiously. "Don't do what in front of you?" I asked, ignoring the rest of what he said.
"You know what. Don't play innocent." He said, pointedly keeping his gaze above my waist. "Stop dancing around my question, tell me what's up."
I rolled my eyes and stepped into my shorts to save his precious eyes. "Okay, I'm going to meet Iwabe at the hideout and he's always known about it. But he has never gone inside because he's a bitch, unlike some people. I'm in a hurry though." I didn't bother finding a shirt before I went back to grab my phone and then walked over to him. "Are you gonna let me by?"
"Hell no." He said stubbornly. "Alright, so you're going to see Iwabe . . . shirtless. But that doesn't explain why you were all spaced out and jumpy."
"You want me to put on a shirt? Fine." I moved back to my dresser and grabbed the first t-shirt I found, quickly shrugging it on. "Now move… please."
He studied my face for a moment, obviously frustrated that I was avoiding the issue here. "No."
"Damn it, asshole." I groaned, not having time to deal with him right now. "Seriously. Move your ass or else."
"Answer my question or else." He sassed, crossing his arms.
"It's not like you to get in the way of my weed." I scoffed and leaned down, hoisting him over my shoulder before he could react. "I really have to go, it's a thirty minute walk to the hideout and I have to be there in ten minutes now." I carried him all the way downstairs before setting him back to his feet.
He blinked up at me. "I can't believe you just did that."
"Well… did it." I smiled and ruffled his hair before hurrying out of the house.
Iwabe had definitely been drinking and if I wasn't there when he arrived there was a good chance that he wouldn't hang around, so I ran all the way there and luckily he was just stumbling up to the cove when I made it.
"Damn man, take a chill pill." He laughed at finding me winded and then wiggled his brows. "I got one if you want."
"No." I huffed. "You know what I want."
"Alright, alright. Party pooper." He rolled his eyes and pulled out my sack, handing it over and then holding his hand out for his payment. "Wanna come with me? Drinking."
That wasn't a good idea… and yet I found myself considering it. Boruto would be mad… but I'd already dug myself into a hole with him anyway and if I went drinking with Iwabe then I wouldn't have to face him tonight. But if I did that, the consequences could be pretty bad… worse than they would already be. While I was thinking over what to do, Iwabe groaned.
"Whatever man, I don't have time for this. You're coming, let's go."
Now Iwabe was making decisions for me? "I don't think I should." I finally sighed and he shook his head.
"You've turned into a bitch. When's the last time you even hung out with me?"
"Who the hell are you calling a bitch?" I ground out, not believing he would dare speak to me in such a way.
"You dude. What's happened to you?" He glared drunkenly at me and I sighed.
"Fine. I'll go." I muttered, deciding not much harm could come in going to have a few drinks. "But I can't stay late."
"Ohh, of course not." He laughed loudly and I started following him off the beach.
His place was only a fifteen minute walk from the beach and I couldn't believe how many people were at his place. It was crowded and so smoky inside even I couldn't breathe. The music was so loud I was surprised the law hadn't showed up. I didn't mind any of it as Iwabe got me a beer and I drained it in less than a minute. I would drink… but I didn't plan to waste time.
Not until my third beer when Taisuke suddenly popped up and I had an itch for new ink. He was down as always, even being the one to suggest it. I drank while he drew something up and even while the session went on. It took him two hours but the piece started on my bare arm and went back over my shoulder. I'd been wanting to get something on that side for a long time and just hadn't gotten around to it, so in the end I was glad I came.
It had been a while since I'd drank though, and I had too much. I wasn't even sure how long I'd been gone but I wanted to go home and knew I couldn't walk there in this condition so I made my way outside and pulled out my phone and saw that Boruto had called me five times… but I hadn't heard my phone ring. Oh shit, he was going to have my ass.
With a long drawn out sigh, I dialed Naruto's number knowing good and well I didn't want to deal with a pissed off Boruto in this state. It was already considered early morning now but after a few rings, he picked up.
"Daaaaaad." I whined. "I drank a lot."
"Oh, the days of youth." Naruto chuckled. "Where are you?"
"'Mat Wabe's. Can you… come get me?" I asked, hoping he wouldn't be mad at me too. "Too far walking."
"Alright, son. I'll be there as soon as I can." He told me. "Don't go anywhere."
"Okay. I'll stay… beside." I nodded. "Thanks you."
Naruto chuckled again. "Anytime. Love you, see you soon."
"Love you soon." I agreed before ending the call and staring at the road, waiting for him to come get me.
It felt like days of waiting though, and I couldn't take it. I laid on the wide cement banister and stared at the spinning stars for a while, on the verge of falling asleep until I heard a door shut and I sat up. I managed to not fall off the banister even though everything was wobbly. My eyes finally landed on Naruto and I breathed a sigh of relief.
"Daaaaaad." I groaned and jumped off the banister but my feet didn't catch me and I landed flat on my face. "Ow." That would have hurt a lot more if I hadn't been so drunk, I was sure.
"Easy there!" He exclaimed and helped me to my feet. "Up you go. Man, you went crazy tonight, didn't you? Try to take a break in between drinks next time, you know?"
"Ya got excited new tat and shit drunk way lot." I laughed, trying to walk as straight as possible with his help, but I had gotten bigger than him and was near dragging him down.
"I can see that." He grunted, getting me to the car. "I'll take a look at that tattoo later. After you get some sleep and then some food in your belly."
"Foods good not tired." I told him as I got in the car and he shut the door. I watched him walk around impatiently and then stared at him as he got in. "You mad?"
He put on his seatbelt then reached over to help me with mine. "No, I'm not mad at you. You're a good kid even if you're a rascal sometimes."
"Nooo." I whined. "I'm s'bad. Boruto hates me."
Naruto started the car and then pulled away from Iwabe's house. "No, he could never. He might get mad sometimes, but he would never hate you."
That's what he thought. "We see he kick m'ass." I groaned, knowing I'd fucked up. "He sleep?"
"Eh, I think so? It was pretty quiet upstairs so he probably is." He told me and then added, "You're right about him though, he's gotten feisty over these last few years."
I nodded repeatedly. "F'sure." Way too feisty. "It's late though…. He sleepin'."
"Probably." Dad agreed.
We made it home pretty quick and Naruto helped me inside but I brushed him off once we made it into the living room, assuring him I could make it up the stairs and to my room myself. He didn't look convinced but I waved him off and clung onto the railing, taking it step by step and only stumbling a few times. For the first time, I was annoyed that my room was so far away but after a slight struggle I made it. I opened my door and moved to step in, but tripped over my own feet and fell flat on my face.
"Ow, shit." I rolled onto my back and clutched my nose, groaning. "Fucking stupid floors and shit."
I sat up as soon as I was able and not feeling like getting to my feet, decided to crawl to my bed. I muttered profanities at having to get up to get into bed and when I stood up, frowned at finding Boruto in bed. I scratched my head in confusion and looked around.
"Wrong room?" I questioned myself but it couldn't be… all my stuff was here. "No…"
Boruto moved and the next thing I knew I was on my back with him leaning over me. "You're drunk off your ass."
"Drunk ass?" I asked, still spinning from the sudden movement. "What happened…"
"Why are you shirtless?" He asked and his hand came into contact with my bandage. "Is this-you got another tattoo? Whoa, I wanna see." He said, getting distracted.
"See what now?" I closed my eyes and sighed, not sure what he was going on about. "Where're we?"
Boruto cleared his throat, getting back on track. "We're in your room. I don't care that you went to party without me, but you ignored my calls . . ."
"Damn pants." I grumbled, moving my hands to the button of my shorts and fumbling with it. "Damn it."
"You're a mess." He sighed and helped me with them. "This would be easier with some light . . . and where did you throw your pajama bottoms?"
"Don't need em. Too hot." I huffed and accidentally pushed his hand across my dick trying to help get my pants off. "Whoa." I grunted and quickly shoved my shorts off, hoping he didn't notice.
Boruto was quick to throw the blanket over me. "Now that that's done . . . are you finally going to tell me what's bothering you?"
Well at least he didn't notice but now I was kind of wishing he had. "Hold me." I said, reaching over and pulling him to me.
"H-hey!" He weakly protested as he landed on top of me. "You're not cute." He said, but held me anyway. "There. All better now?"
"You… don't think I'm cute?" I pouted, feelings hurt that he would say it so seriously. "But… I thought you like me…"
"Kawaki, I do like you." He said and nuzzled my chest. "Maybe you are cute, but I want you to tell me what's wrong."
"You think I'm ugly." I muttered. That was the only issue here.
Boruto cupped my face with his hands. "What the hell are you saying? You're not ugly at all. I think you're extremely good looking."
"Really? Then why did you touch my dick and pretend like it didn't happen?" I frowned.
"T-that was an accident!" He insisted. "I didn't mean to . . . sorry."
My frown deepened and I sighed. "You didn't mean it… you're not good at meaning it."
"Will you stop that?" He said and lightly hit my chest. "I do too mean it. Your drunk mind just doesn't think so."
"You said you didn't mean it and now you did mean it but you didn't mean it and don't wanna mean it. Whatever. I don't care."
Boruto groaned and moved off of me to lay next to me instead. "There's no point in arguing with you when you're like this. I meant it. Believe it."
"Hm." I huffed and rolled onto my side to face away from him. "You don't need to mean anything. Don't need you touching my dick. Somebody else will." I mumbled to myself, annoyed but trying to ease my mind by closing my eyes. I just needed to sleep.
"I fucking dare you to find someone else. See what happens."
Was he… threatening me? I did not like his tone but I kept my mouth shut and willed myself to fall asleep. It didn't take long and I slept hard and long, not waking up until later afternoon. I was alone in bed and had a hangover from hell so I didn't get up. I just laid in bed, groaning and hiding my face under the covers to escape the light from my windows.
It was dinner time before I was disturbed by Naruto bringing me a plate of food, water and some pills for the headache I had. He didn't hang around and I was kind of glad because I didn't really want to see anyone. Especially Boruto. Last night had went to shit several times. It didn't surprise me. I was good at fucking things up.
After I ate I felt a little better and decided to go take a shower. I couldn't just go back to sleep so I started sketching little off things to pass some time and hopefully tire myself out. It wasn't working and I had too much on my mind, so I decided I needed someone to distract me. It wasn't too late so I left my room and found Himawari in the living room with mom. She was more than willing to play with me and she was able to make me forget about my worries for the time being. She couldn't stay up forever though and soon had to go to sleep.
I sighed at being left alone and thought it would be a good idea to go to my hideout and smoke. Be alone. Back in my thoughts. Well, it probably wasn't my best idea but I was going with it. I rolled a joint in my bedroom before leaving the house. I was set on going to my hideout but instead spotted someone surfing and glared at them when I noticed it was Boruto.
Who the hell did he think he was surfing alone at this time of night? Probably just because he was pissed at me and I supposed I didn't really have the right to stop him. That didn't matter though, I wasn't going to let him be alone when something could happen to him. I walked towards the water until my feet were just being covered by the waves that washed onto shore.
"Boruto." I called to him, loud enough that I knew he'd hear me and he was just laying on his board at the moment so there was no way he missed me.
He looked over at me, but had no intention of moving. "What?"
"What are you doing... out there alone… it's dark." He knew how much I worried about him… but I guess it didn't matter as long as he was angry. And I couldn't say I blamed him. It was just… usually I was the angry one.
"I'm being careful." He said in understanding, but he still wasn't going to come to shore.
I walked back out of the water and sat down in the sand, deciding to just smoke here so I could watch him. It was a nice night, perfect weather. Completely cloudless, endless stars and a full moon looming overhead but it did nothing to make me feel better. I lit the joint and started smoking, keeping a watchful eye on Boruto as he started surfing. I knew it… he was going to hate me and a part of me felt like it was for the best.
While I was smoking and mulling over all my thoughts I heard giggling not far from where I was and turned my head in the direction to see three girls walking down the beach. The way they moved made it clear that they had been drinking and it wasn't long before they spotted me. I cursed at having to outten my joint halfway and made sure to keep my eyes clear of them, not wanting to draw any unnecessary attention to myself.
"Smells like weed." One of them laughed as they got closer and I rolled my eyes.
"Maybe that hottie there was smoking." Another one teased her friend and I lowered my head, willing them to walk on by.
"Let's ask him. Maybe he will share with us." One said in the loudest and most annoying whisper I'd ever heard. I almost laughed but then I thought, please don't ask me.
As they walked closer they argued between themselves about what to do but eventually decided to ask me. I didn't mind smoking with people who wanted to smoke, but I didn't know them so when one of them asked, I brushed it off and said I didn't have anything. I only had a piece of joint on me anyway.
"Aw come on…" One of them cooed and sat down beside me on the sand. "You smell like you have something good. Don't be stingy."
"Yeah, we like to smoke too." Another one spoke up and sat on my other side.
"Maybe we should do a strip search." The one still standing said and leaned over me, her hands running over my shoulders and down my chest.
"Hey, don't touch me." I chided her without trying to be an ass about it. They were drunk but they still needed to know some boundaries. "I really don't have anything."
The one on my left suddenly pounced on me, knocking me back onto the ground while straddling my hips. I gasped in surprise at the way she grinded down on me. What the fucking shit?
"You're really sexy. Let's play on the beach." She murmured and I shook my head.
"No, no. Get off."
I heard someone clear their throat and looked over to see it was Boruto, smiling sweetly. "Mind getting off my boyfriend, ladies?" He asked, tone bright and full of lies. He was reminding me of Hinata.
"Boyfriend?" The one sitting on top of me scoffed as she studied my face in disbelief. "You're gay?"
I nodded quickly while my life flashed before my eyes. "Gay as fuck and I don't have anything, so please… get off of me now."
She scrambled to her feet as if I'd scalded her and all three of them ran off, talking shit. I sighed in relief once they were gone and then stared at the sand knowing Boruto now had a whole new reason to be mad at me. It might as well be all over… there was no sense in all this suffering for both of us.
"Kawaki." He said evenly. "Just because they're girls doesn't mean you have to be nice. If they bother you then tell them to stop, even if you have to get nasty. Because I will definitely get nasty."
I nodded thoughtfully as I played with the sand. "Next time I'll be nasty then."
"Thank you." He sighed and then stuck his board in the sand before he joined me. "Why are we fighting? I'm not sure I even know."
"Because I'm being an asshole and you don't want to touch my dick." I grumbled.
He flushed and shoved my arm. "Kawaki!"
I fought the urge to smile and glanced over at him. "Am I wrong?"
"Yes. No. Yes to the second part, no to the first." He said, trying to gather his thoughts. "You're being an ass . . . but . . . I do want to . . . t-to touch it."
"You do?" I blinked at him in surprise. "It's not a big deal… I don't know why I was acting like that. But I guess I have to tell you what's been on my mind."
"Please do." He said, looking at me meaningfully. "We're supposed to be able to tell each other anything, right? I'll do my best to understand."
I knew he would… but that didn't mean he'd be able to. "Dad's getting a new contract. It means farther distances, longer trips. Weeks. Months sometimes. I'm thinking about dropping out of school and just focusing on working with him. But… I wasn't sure how you'd feel about me and him both being gone for so long."
Boruto frowned, slowly turning his head to look at the ocean. It was quiet for a while, nothing but the crash of the waves echoing in my ears. "Is it what you really want to do?" He asked finally.
"Honestly… I'm not sure what I want." I sighed and shook my head at myself. "When I think about quitting school and working more, it seems like a good idea. But when I think about being gone for such long periods of time without being able to see or talk to you… I doubt myself. And then I wonder how you would handle that and figure you'll hate me for even considering it. So… I just couldn't bring myself to tell you. I didn't want you to be upset with me. Funny huh, considering I'm constantly giving you a reason to be upset with me."
Boruto shook his head. "I was the one being difficult not too long ago, remember? Now I guess it's your turn." He said with a small smile. "We're getting older and have to start thinking about the future . . . that's something we can't avoid, but it's just another thing I put off and didn't think about. I don't like being apart from you, but I want to see you happy too. The way you look after coming home from a storm . . . I don't want you to lose that. If going out to sea is your future and that's what you want to do then I'd rather get used to it sooner than later. I'm not that worried. Mom and dad do it, right? I think we can too."
I nodded thoughtfully and reached over to take his hand in mine. "I don't want to hurt you, Boruto. I want you to be happy. So if you won't be happy if l go… then I won't."
He leaned over, resting his head on my shoulder. "I'll miss you . . . and it'll be hard at first . . . but I want you to go." He told me. "Just . . . promise me one thing."
His resolve surprised me, but it made me happy. "Okay, what is it?"
"Draw me pictures. I want to see everything."
I smiled at that and placed a soft kiss to his forehead. "You didn't even need to ask. I'll always do that for you."
He looked up at me and grinned. "Good . . . . . now show me that tattoo." He demanded.
Laughing, I tugged my shirt off and leaned down a bit so he could get a good look at it from my shoulder to my arm. "It looks good to have only been done last night, right?"
"Yeah, you're lucky Taisuke doesn't charge you more." He said as he examined it. "I really like it, it's very you. But your first one will always be my favorite."
"Really?" I chuckled, glancing at the old skull tattoo that was now blended in with my sleeve. "It was my first one… so I get it."
"It's special." He nodded in agreement and then leaned back to take in the whole picture. "You've got a lot of them now. Can't say I don't like it." He said cheekily.
I always knew he liked them and sometimes remembered his younger face. The surprise at my first tattoo, how excited he was, how cool he thought it was. He was always so cute. "I'm glad you like them as much as me. For me anyway… not you." I laughed.
He laughed as well, shaking his head. "No tattoos for me. But piercings are okay."
"Who told you that?" I huffed. "Don't ever try that shit again."
"What? So you don't like it?" He asked. "I thought you were over that."
Realizing he hadn't caught onto the fact that I liked it, a lot, I looked away from him. My ears burned as I thought about it, wondering if I should admit to it or not. Then finally I decided to be honest. "I actually like it. A lot."
"Yeah?" He beamed and threw his arms around me, mindful of my new tattoo. "Cool."
"Well… still don't do it again. No more." I grumbled.
"Alright, alright." He said before sighing in content.
Glad that everything was settled between us, I got to my feet and pulled him up along with me. "Let's get inside. You need a shower."
"Okay."
I felt a lot better after talking things through with Boruto. I was happy that he wasn't upset with me anymore and that he wasn't against me dropping out of school and being on the sea more. I'd miss him and I knew he'd miss me, but I would make a lot of money and learn a lot more too. Boruto would also have time to concentrate on his studies and what he wanted to do after school instead of worrying about me all the time. When I was home though, I wasn't going to be willing to share him.
It wouldn't be long before the summer was over and he'd be going back to school. The new contract would be in effect by then and I wasn't sure how long we'd be gone on that first voyage. I was excited though, even if I was a little nervous about it. Missing Boruto was inevitable, but we would survive and it would make all the time we had together more precious. In the last few weeks we had left of summer, I was determined for everything to be perfect between us.