A/N: Hey guys. This will be the official first chapter. The previous one was sort of like an intro. I really hope this story will receive well… Just to get a few things out of the way; English is not my first language but I'm thankfully not extremely bad at it either. So please forgive spelling and grammar mistakes.
I will also try to do updates every two weeks. So, without further ado, let's continue on to the story.
I'm really excited to get this out there.
Xxx
Sakura pulled the blanket closer to her chin, listening to the faint snoring coming from behind her. She sniffled lightly, not wanting to disturb the man her back was turned on. She never really understood how he could fall asleep so quickly. Especially after a fight. She scrubbed her cheeks dry from the tears on the sleeve of her night shirt before silently crawling out of bed to go the bathroom. She could hear him mutter something in his sleep but didn't bother looking over her shoulder to see if she woke him up. Their room was overwhelmed with the smell of strong booze.
Closing the bathroom door behind her, Sakura splashed some cold water onto her face, rubbing furiously at her eyes. She was so exhausted, from the fight and crying, but sleep would not claim her. Glancing at herself in the mirror above the sink, she scowled at the image staring back at her. Swollen blood shot eyes, a red stuffy nose and puffed up tear streaked cheeks.
You look absolutely wonderful.
She turned away from the mirror in anger to grab a tissue from the tissue box that was placed on the bathroom's windowsill. She felt pathetic as a fresh wave of tears forced their way out and she hiccupped in the effort to keep her sobs as silent as she could. Her tears were angry tears. Angry tears because she was angry at herself for being so emotional. Maybe he was right, maybe she was too sensitive. Quick to cry over nothing. But they just wouldn't stop.
Sakura plopped herself down on the cold tiled floor in front of the bath tub, hiding her face in her hands as she quietly sobbed. She just wished she could crawl into bed and sleep the night away. Maybe she would feel better in the morning, try to talk to Kakashi again. But previous attempts in the past four years showed her that it never turned out that way.
They would ignore each other for a day or two, until one of them got tired of it. One of them would make an offhanded comment about something which would only piss the other off and the fight would continue where it stopped.
She was so sick of this pattern, so tired of it all. She would lie if she said she never thought about just putting an end to this relationship to just stop this never ending cycle. Thing would go great between them for a few weeks before they start fighting over stuff that never seemed to be resolved no matter how many times they try to talk it out, try to move past it.
Sakura blew her nose in the tissue before whipping the tears on the sleeve of her shirt again. Her anger was quickly turning into a hollow feeling in the pit of her stomach, making her feel more exhausted than she did a few minutes ago.
Pushing herself up from the cold floor, she made her way back to bed just as silently as before to sleep away the night. She only hoped that the sweet dark abyss of slumber would claim her quickly and take that feeling of emptiness with it.
Even with Kakashi next to her sleeping the buzz of booze off next to her, Sakura couldn't help but think that she never felt more alone in her life.
And that feeling was nothing new.
Xxx
It was her eighteenth birthday.
Kakashi had showed up just as she was finishing up cleaning the house, packing away the mountain of toys her one year old son had strewn about on her living room floor. The day she found out that she was pregnant, it didn't even cross her mind that such a small human could create such a big mess.
The silver haired man had bought her a bottle of wine as a birthday gift, telling her that it would be a waste to finally come of legal drinking age without getting at least a little drunk. Especially since her parents had offered to have Mamora stay the night at their place so she could unwind a bit and have some fun.
She didn't expect anyone other than Kakashi to show up, so she prepared a simple dinner for them to enjoy while he sat with her in the kitchen, making small talk. He poured her a glass of wine before opening a can of beer for himself, claiming the sweet alcohol he bought for her always gave him a headache when he had more than three glasses.
After eating, he helped her with the dishes as they bantered back and forth with each other. She went as far as to splash him with the soapy water when he teased her a little too much about being a light weight after she started feeling a buzz with only having two glasses of wine.
Kakashi suggested they make a fire in her barbeque to enjoy the fresh summer air outside, and she quickly agreed when the house became a little too hot and stuffy for her when she started to drink her fourth glass of wine. The atmosphere was relaxing and she just wanted to spend the rest of the night listening to him play his acoustic guitar he thoughtfully brought with him.
She couldn't remember having a birthday as fun as this one, having had to spend her seventeenth birthday with her parents since Mamora was born only a few days prior.
Sakura had laid out a blanket on the grass in her back yard for them to sit on as Kakashi started the fire. He quickly went to his car to grab his guitar before settling himself in front of her to pluck the strings in a slow tune. She watched the orange glow of the flames dance across his face as he closed his eyes, losing himself in the notes he played. She couldn't help but openly stare at him, her lips tilting into a small smile. She knew he loved his music, and she wished she could learn how to strum a guitar herself, but she never seemed to have enough time for herself to actually learn how to play the instrument.
So lost in thought, she was startled when Kakashi chuckled at her, placing his guitar next to him. "What?" she asked rather confused.
"Nothing. You just seem like you were on another planet. Penny for your thoughts?"
Sakura smiled shyly, looking down at her index finger drawing a slow circle around the rim of her wine glass, "I was just thinking about why I never bothered to learn how to play the guitar myself. I've always wanted to, but these days I don't really seem to have much time for something like that."
Kakashi nodded, "yeah, you got your hands full." He stared at her for a while before adding, "I can teach you something, if you want?"
She seemed to think about it for a while, a smile dancing on her lips, "I am a quick learner."
Kakashi took that as a yes and picked up his guitar again before moving to sit next to her. He showed her how to correctly hold the guitar and placed her fingers on different strings and frets, explaining to her what chords they were and how she could play them in different patterns to get different tunes.
They continued on like that for a long while, Sakura giving a few giggles as he corrected her fingers every now and then. The fire was starting to die down to a small flame and it got too dark for her to properly see what she was doing, making Kakashi's task of teaching her a little difficult. They both laughed when even he failed to see exactly what her fingers was doing and he couldn't correct it, making the chord she was attempting to play sound like a dying animal.
"Enough of that already, I think you got the basics. We can practice some more when we're sober again."
Sakura snorted softly, "Yeah, and when we can actually see what it is we're doing."
Kakashi chuckled lightly as he took the guitar from her hands to place it beside him on the blanked. Sakura was leaning more into him as the seconds ticked by, and he doubted she even noticed. He didn't mind one bit, welcoming the warmth of her body. She sat with her back slightly pressed against his chest and he decided to boldly move his legs on either side of her to allow her to sit more snuggle between his legs.
She didn't hesitate to completely lean back against him, closing her eyes as she rested her head back against his shoulder. Kakashi wrapped his arms around her, comfortable enough to know he could her without either of them feeling too awkward at their familiar touches with each other.
"This is great," she sighed out, "thanks for spending the day with me."
Kakashi smiled down at her when she tilted her head a little more back to look up at him. His eyes traveled to her lips and his head leaned down a little bit more in that direction, but he hesitated, not sure if he should continue.
Sakura moved to meet him halfway and attempted to kiss him on the lips, but both being rather tipsy, they missed their target and instead their first attempt at kissing ended up with Sakura kissing his chin and Kakashi's lips on the tip of her nose.
Sakura broke out in a fit of giggles and Kakashi couldn't help but chuckle with her. She sat up away from him whilst still giggling before turning around to face him, "that was terrible!"
"I promise I'll do better next time."
Sakura calmed herself enough to softly gaze at him, tilting her head slightly to the side. He moved one of his hands to cup her cheek, gently pulling her closer. She inhaled sharply when their lips finally met in a slow kiss, both testing the waters. Changing the angle slightly, Kakashi deepened the kiss, sliding the tip of his tongue against her bottom lip to encourage her to let him explore her mouth, and she allowed him access.
That was the first time they kissed. And she couldn't remember being kissed like this ever before.
Xxx
Kakashi woke up with a splitting headache. He definitely regretted drinking as much as he did last night. He wasn't as young as he used to be and he certainly couldn't drink as much as he did when he was twenty. At the age of twenty-seven, he ought to have started slowing down a bit when it came to alcohol.
Rubbing a hand down his face, he sat up in bed before turning to look at the sleeping woman next him. Sakura laid curled up in a ball facing him, her lips slightly parted. He studied her features for a while, noticing her swollen eyes. And the previous night's events came back to him in bits and pieces.
They had fought again. That much he could remember. He wasn't exactly sure about what, but he was sure she would remind him soon enough when she awoke as well. The kids were still asleep, and he silently thanked whatever deity for giving him a few minutes of peace and quiet before the day began as usual.
The silver haired man moved to stand up to make his way to the kitchen, he seriously needed a strong cup of coffee if he wanted to be able to function properly, and maybe drink an asprin for the hangover he was currently experiencing.
Filling up the kettle with water, he placed it on the stove before preparing a cup. As the water started to heat up, Kakashi leaned with his hip against the counter, folding his arms across his chest. His mind replayed the events of the previous night and he sighed heavily as he recalled himself cursing at Sakura. He had a friend that came to visit and the man had brought a bottle of booze and a bottle of vodka for shots.
Kakashi knew he never did well with drinking vodka. The transparent alcoholic liquid usually made him aggressive, and even though he did tell his friend no a few times, the dark haired man, Genma, ignored his refusal and practically shoved the shot down Kakashi's mouth.
After that Kakashi stopped refusing shots and both men steadily grew more buzzed as the night passed on. Sakura was somewhere around the time busy bathing the kids to get them ready for bed, and he had no idea what time exactly she came to force both men to drink a cup of coffee and told Genma in as many word to get the hell out of her house before he became too drunk to drive. She made it perfectly clear to both that she was not offering up her couch as a place for the dark haired man to crash on and that they were loud enough to disturb the sleeping kids and the neighbors.
When Genma finally left without having Sakura threaten bodily harm, Kakashi rounded on her to tell her off for being so rude to their guest.
"It's three in the fucking morning, Kakashi. The kids are having a hard time sleeping with the two of you idiots acting like teenagers!"
"First time I hear that as an excuse. The kids usually sleep just fine whenever we have guests over that stay way later than three in the morning. But that's not my point!"
Sakura scoffed, "then what, exactly, is your point?"
"You basically threw the guy out! God, am I not allowed to have any fun at all? It's not like a drink myself stupid with friends every single day."
"No, maybe not every day, but basically every fucking weekend. I'm sick of this. Instead of having friends over and drink yourself stupid, like you put it, help out with the kids a little more. You don't see me acting like I have no responsibilities at all. Who the hell's going to have to clean up the house tomorrow? You're going to have too big of a fucking hangover to do jack shit, again."
Kakashi growled in frustration, "I don't see you working and bring money into this household. So if I want to have a drink every weekend I sure as hell will have a drink. I do my share, I make sure you have food on the fucking table every night. That's all me. Don't you dare lecture me about not doing enough."
"Oh, so we're back to that again. Real smooth, Hatake. Last time I checked, you told me you'd rather have me stay home with the kids. Now you're playing that card again? Need I remind you that you're the one that throws a hissy fit if I just so happen to have a boss that's male and my job requires me to actually interact with him?"
"Just shut the fuck up and get over it, that's not the problem at all. What I'm trying to tell you is that it's your job to clean the house like it's my job to provide!"
Sakura's jaw dropped open in disbelief at his words. Was he seriously insinuating that she was his maid? At that instant there could be crying heard from their daughter's room and Sakura moved to go and settle the toddler down to sleep again, but Kakashi grabbed her by the shoulder and shoved her behind him, "you said I should help out more with the kids. So fine, watch me do it."
Sakura rolled her eyes and angrily moved to go prepare a bottle of water for the two year old. She could hear Kakashi in their daughter's room talk in a comforting voice, telling the little girl to go back to sleep. His next words made Sakura go cold, almost dropping the bottle she was carrying to the two year old's room to give her.
"Don't grow up to be such a stuck up twit like your bitch mother, sweetie."
Kakashi sighed, rubbing his eyes with the balls of his hands. What he said was really uncalled for and he knew it. What he didn't know was why he had said it. And to his two year old daughter no less. His chest felt heavy with regret and shame, he felt like a bad partner and father. He made the mistake of fighting with Sakura in front of the kids before, and she had thoroughly chastised him about it. He promised her and himself that he would never do that again, but that was just another broken promised piled on top of the other broken promises.
He really should stop drinking as much as he did. It was becoming a problem, and he was starting to see that.
The kettle started to boil and Kakashi turned off the stove to pout the water into his cup. He added two spoons of ground coffee beans, leaving the strong dark drink without sugar and cream. He grabbed his packet of cigarettes lying on the counter to go sit outside and smoke whilst drinking the dark liquid, popping an asprin in his mouth to rid himself of this headache.
He was not looking forward to this day.
Xxx
Sakura was woken up by her two children crawling into the bed with her. She greeted them with a smile as they snuggled up to her on either side. She felt like she had been hit by a train and her mouth felt like she had been chewing on cotton the whole night.
Checking the digital clock on her bedside table, the red numbers read 11:37 am. She was surprised at the time, with the kids usually waking up at 6:30 every morning. A fleeting thought told her that it must be because they had a restless night, and she felt bad for not getting up sooner to at least prepare breakfast for them. I her grumbling stomach was any indication, the kids must be starving by now.
She took a few minutes to tickle both of them, smiling as their laughter filled the room, before getting up to go make them each a sandwich. The patter of two pairs of little feet could be heard running in the direction of the backyard and she heard her daughter exclaim, "Papa!"
She was instantly reminded of the previous night and a heavy feeling settled in her chest again. She was just thankful that the events didn't upset the children too much and their high spirits encouraged her to push her own negative feelings for the silver haired man to the back of her mind for time being.
She didn't want the kids to pick up on the atmosphere between their parents and she was determined to act like nothing happened. They could talk it out later when they were alone, but until then, she would go about her day as normal as possible and clean up the mess that was left for her.
Bringing the children their sandwiches, she gave Kakashi a nod in greeting before walking back to the kitchen to start throwing away beer cans and broken glass. It wouldn't be the first time Kakashi had broken stuff around the house in a fit of drunken anger whenever they had a falling out.
She tried to clear her head and not think about what had happened and what was said the previous night. Busying herself with the dishes, she placed the kettle on the stove to make herself a cup of tea. Crying as much as she did last night was proving to be quite horrible the next morning. Her eyes burned and her throat felt like she gargled sand.
She would continue her day like that, occupying her mind with cleaning. She managed to clean the kitchen in record time, taking a five minute tea break before starting with the laundry and then set off to vacuum the rest of the house and cleaning the children's rooms.
By the time she finished with all her chores, it was three in the afternoon and the kids had both fallen asleep for an afternoon nap on the sofa in front of the television. Sakura went to hang the laundry outside for it to dry before moving to the kitchen to get herself a glass of juice. It was a hot day, and she didn't feel like doing much after. She planned on taking a book and read for a while on her bed to relax, but as she took her first sip of her juice, Kakashi walked into the kitchen.
They made eye contact for a brief second and Sakura was sure he would want to continue where they left off the previous night, but he moved past her to grab an apple from the fridge and walked out of the kitched without a word.
Sakura sighed. She had done so well to not think too much over the fight, and just one look from Kakashi had her wishing they could just sit down like the two adults they were and talk everything out in a civilized way. He made it quite clear that he had no intention of giving her the time of his day.
Her mother used to tell her that she was a stubborn young lady that stood firm in her beliefs and fought for what she thought was right. Sakura usually was the one to initiate the talking with Kakashi after they fought, but she decided against it this time. She wanted him to come to her this time.
Even if it meant they were going to pretend that the other didn't exist for a few days, but she was too tired to give much of a damn right now. She didn't feel like fighting so soon again. She just wanted to have a peaceful afternoon.
With that decision she went to their bedroom, picked up her book from her bedside table and flipped it open to the page she read last. Making herself comfortable, she read the hours away until the kids woke up from their nap and she had to start dinner.
Xxx
TBC