a/n: I was splendidly surprised by the reviews I got on the previous installment of this fic. It encouraged me to pick up my laptop and start on this chap.
Just to clarify; I noticed I spelled Sakura's son's name wrong. His name is in fact Mamoru, meaning defend and/or protect. There's a reason for why she named him that, but you guys will find out that reason as the story continues. I've also did some research on some girl names for Kakashi and Sakura's daughter. Her name will be Mitsuko, which translates to light and/or shining child.
Kind of random, but my daughter's name means light and I kinda felt like drawing from my own experiences to add to this fic.
Also, Kakashi will not be 14 years Sakura's senior, their age difference will, in fact, only be 5 years.
Sorry for this terribly lengthy a/n, but I hope you guys enjoy!
Xxx
It's been two months after Sakura's eighteenth birthday, and Kakashi made it a point to stay at her place every weekend when he was off from work. During the weekdays they would text each other to keep in touch when they couldn't be together. He was still living with a friend about an hour's drive from her home, making it impossible for the silver haired man to stay over for longer than the three days the weekends permitted.
When Friday's came around, Kakashi would be knocking on her door at around seven in the evening, giving Sakura enough time to bathe Mamoru and put the one year old boy to bed whilst Kakashi ate the dinner she made extra for him. He would then go and have a shower while she busied herself with cleaning the dishes, and when they were both done, Sakura would go take a shower herself. They fell effortlessly into this comfortable routine from the very first weekend he decided to spend over.
Today was a Saturday though, and it was the day before Valentine's day.
Sakura had invited him into her bed the previous night, and he wasn't sure what to expect. They haven't done much more than kissing up until that point and Kakashi didn't want to push the pink haired woman into something she wasn't entirely ready for yet. To say he was surprised at her request was an understatement, but he complied to her wishes nonetheless.
She had cuddled up into his side as they laid together in her bed, Mamoru sleeping soundly in his own room. They talked quietly about everything and nothing for most of the night, neither of them feeling compelled enough to sleep just yet, not wanting to ruin the peaceful atmosphere.
Sakura was the one to initiate their steamy make out session when they both fell into a comfortable silence, and he had let her take the lead on the happenings from thereon. She crawled up on top of him, not once separating from the kiss, to straddle his waist. And soon they were both naked and she sunk herself down on his shaft.
She had kept the pace torturously slow at first, but after a few minutes, Kakashi had rolled them over and took control. He had thrust into her sheath at a mercilessly fast and hard pace. She had mewled in response, encouraging him, and soon they were both shuddering in completion.
It was the first time they had slept together, and they had coupled two more times after that before falling asleep in each other's arms.
Kakashi smiled at the memory of their nightly adventures as he cloud gazed, laying on the grass with Sakura dozing off on his chest. Mamoru was busy chasing a butterfly on wobbly legs, giggling as he went. He heard the pink haired woman in his arms sigh out contently before she moved to circle his waist lazily with her arm.
"Hey, Sak…"
She sounded relaxed in every way as she breathed out, "yeah?"
He wasn't good with questions, so he just blurted out whatever words his mind jumbled together, "you're mine now."
He heard her giggle softly before turning her head to give his chest a light kiss, making his stomach flutter in anticipation with her answer.
"Okay."
Xxx
Kakashi sighed as he rolled over onto his back, scratching at his silver hair, "are we just going to ignore each other forever?"
Sakura opened her eyes and turned her head in his direction to study his face in the darkness of their room. It was almost midnight and it seemed that sleep had eluded both of them. They haven't talked to each other in three days.
"I don't know, Kakashi. What's there to talk about?"
Her voice sounded as tired as he felt. He hated living this way. Why couldn't they just talk their problems through like normal people did? Some would say that what they had was toxic, but he felt that they were wrong. Sakura just frustrated him to no end.
"Right, I guess there's nothing to talk about then."
Kakashi rolled to turn his back on her again, but Sakura's sniffling had him turn back to face her. He rolled his eyes, not sure why exactly she felt like crying. It was completely unnecessary. She was quick to shed tears and he just couldn't understand why she was such an emotional person. She was too sensitive, and he made sure to voice his thoughts to her on the matter.
He had told her the exact same thing a lot of times before, but it seemed to him that Sakura just didn't seem to care. He was startled when she suddenly got up from the bed to hastily walk out of the room and he felt like he should stand up and follow her retreating form, but decided to just leave her be instead.
"Where are you going?" he tried to keep his voice calm, but his frustration bled out of the words anyway.
"Just… just leave me to calm myself. I'll go cry somewhere else if my emotions are too much for you to tolerate."
Kakashi slammed his fist in the mattress before getting up out of the bed to follow her into the living room, "are you fucking serious right now?"
Sakura rounded him, "yes, Kakashi. I'm serious. God forbid I feel like crying because we're a mess!"
She was careful not to raise her voice above an angry whisper, not wanting to disturb the sleeping children down the hall.
"That's right, Sakura. We're a fucking mess. So please, I'm ready to hear some suggestions on how we're going to fix this shit, because I'm this close to being done."
He had kept his voice a low growl, unable to keep his anger in check anymore. If they were ever going to sort this out, now was as good a time as any.
"How about you start by saying sorry?"
Kakashi gave an incredulous laugh before moving to sit on the one seater sofa that was pushed up against one of the walls. He plucked a cigarette from his packet of smokes before lighting the rolled up stick of tabaco, taking a long drag.
Sakura had moved to sit on the matching two seater sofa next to him, pulling her legs under her. She watched him blow the smoke from between his lips, patiently waiting for his reply.
"Sorry." That single word dripped with sarcasm, and he lifted his shoulder in a half shrug as if to ask her if she was satisfied.
"Right. So, no need to apologize for telling our daughter not to grow up to be like her bitch mother. No need to apologize for screaming and cussing at me, for shoving me like some rag doll. Do you even remember what exactly happened? What you said and did?"
"What does it matter-"
"It matters because you want me to be your wife but I'll be damned if I marry a man that has no respect for me whatsoever."
Kakashi scoffed, "then take off that cheap ass ring if you're so adamant about marrying me and shove it up your cu-"
"My point exactly!" her chest was heaving by now, and a fresh wave of tears rolled down her cheeks. "Never, in all these four years, have I ever talked to you like that. No matter what you did, no matter how much you told me to go fuck myself. I have never!"
Kakashi scrubbed at his face with both his hands, sighing heavily. "You're right, I'm sorry. I just… I'm not as finely tuned to my emotions as you are and I keep forgetting that you take things to heart. You have got to stop with that, Sakura. You're too sensitive and you know that I don't think before I say something. Especially when we're fighting."
Sakura bit her bottom lip to keep herself from hiccupping as she cried, moving a hand to cover her eyes.
Kakashi took her silence as his cue to continue, "look, I know what I did and said was wrong. I have no excuses for that. But you should know by now that I fight with my fists. And I can't just go around punching you, so I lash at you with my tongue. I can't help it."
She looked up at him then, her brows furrowed as she shook her head, "no, you're wrong. Of course you can help it. You knew that vodka makes you aggressive, why the hell did you drink it?"
"What, was I just supposed to refuse Genma and leave him to drink on his own when he came over with the intention of drinking and catching up with an old friend?"
"Yes, Kakashi. Because you don't have to drink every fucking time you have friends over. Especially if you know that your drinking leads to this."
"Leads to what, you bitching about me trying to be my own person and do something that doesn't involve you?"
Sakura buried her face in her hands, shaking her head, "just… forget it." She wiped at her eyes with her sleeve before moving to get up from the couch.
Kakashi didn't say or do anything to stop her as he watched her go back to their room, he doubted that she would go back to sleep that easily. He quickly snuffed out his cigarette before getting up to go join her in bed, fully intending to turn his back on her. Unlike his pink haired partner, he had no trouble falling asleep. He always did have a clearer mind in the morning and decided they would continue this then.
Xxx
Sakura listened as Kakashi's breath started to even out, just like she did for the past three nights. The hollow feeling in the pit of her stomach only grew heavier with each breath he took. She hated thid so much. The feeling of emptiness overshadowed her anger and soon all she could think of how to describe her feelings accurately was immense sadness.
Maybe Kakashi was right, maybe she was too sensitive. Too quick to get angry of little things. Of course, the way he sometimes treated her was not acceptable, but he wasn't a bad partner at all.
He had taken to loving and raising her son as his own, they had a beautiful little girl together, and she would be damned if anything got between the two of them. Her mother had always warned her that love wasn't just a feeling. It was a commitment. You had to commit to it every single day. It wasn't always fifty-fifty. Sometimes it was eighty-twenty. And she only understood now exactly what it was that her mother meant.
Sakura was just so tired of it all. The fighting, the ignoring, the sleepless nights. She always imagined herself never going to sleep without resolving an issue, but her relationship with Kakashi had proven that nothing was like she expected it to be. And even though things were so wrong at the moment, she couldn't imagine herself being anywhere else, or rather, with anyone else.
She loved Kakashi so much, she wasn't sure whether it hurt or felt good. But she was so tired of feeling like this.
Sakura turned to watch Kakashi's shoulders rise and fall as he slept. She knew that if they didn't get past this, their relationship would be shattered. But if they did, it would be so much stronger. They've fought about worse things before, and if they could move past that, then she sure as hell wouldn't allow this to break them apart.
They were so selfish, both of them. They had no other choice but to make this relationship work, not just for them, but for their children. Even though both of them tried their damned best to act like nothing was wrong in front of the kids, Mamoru and Mitsuko was quick to pick up on the atmosphere hanging around the house like a dense cloud. It made them fussier, quicker to fight with each other and it made Mitsuko especially cry more easily.
The pink haired woman sighed heavily before she cautiously moved closer to the sleeping man in front her. She snaked an arm around his middle, cuddling up against his back, hiding her face between his shoulder blades.
She just wanted this to end. If they couldn't fight it out, then she might as well try to lessen the tension between them until they could both just stop acting like two children and apologize to each other.
Kakashi wasn't quite asleep like she though he was as she felt him twine his fingers with hers before bringing her hand up to his lips to place a lingering kiss against her knuckles. With that one simple action alone she felt like crying again, in relief. To know that their relationship might just be strong enough to make it through this.
"I'm sorry, baby."
His whispered apology was as much as she could take, making her cry for a second time that night. She sniffled noisily, nodding her head against his back, "I'm sorry, too."
He turned around in her embrace to face her, cupping her cheek in his palm, whipping the wetness from it with his thumb. Sakura's lower lip trembled as she moved to kiss him. They didn't part for a few slow seconds, and when they did Kakashi pulled her closer to him, kissing the top of her head as he rubbed his hand up and down her back in slow circles.
"I'll try harder, I promise. I know I've been treating you unfairly and if I were you, I would've kicked someone like me under the ass a long time ago. But you chose me, like a chose you. And I love you, Sak. I don't want to lose you."
"I know."
Her voice broke as she spoke and Kakashi sighed before kissing her forehead again, "just try to sleep."
It wasn't long after he said that, she felt the exhaustion settle in and sleep overcame her. Kakashi continued to rub her back in comforting circles, kissing her temple every other few minutes until he too fell asleep.
Xxx
TBC