Inconsequential Idiosyncratical Incongruities

Chapter 0, Otherwise known as "Prologue"

It was raining.

That day, innumerous droplets of murky water gushed from the sky like blood from an open wound; Arcs of lightning struck the ground, viciously, exacerbating terror in the eyes of onlookers; A cacophony of villainous thunders resounding seemingly from every direction.

It was a day that I'd rather forget, but I can't.

As it was the day…

I died.

Or maybe it was a lovely, sunny day. I'm not too sure, I tend to exaggerate emotional events.

Cut me some slack, rarely do dead men tell tales, no? Even if it may be incorrect, it's still a stupendous event, right?

Speaking of remembering things, I don't remember when I died. Or, if I died. All I have are these meta imitations of memories.

Wait, who am I?

[Naught but an impermanent speck of quantum!]

Nani?

[Discombobulation detected. Initiating {TUTORIAL}]

Tutorial..?

I believe I'll have to repeat myself;

Nani?

[CRITICAL FAILURE. REVERTING CHANGES.]

[REBOOTING…]

Ah, I see.

[INITIALIZING SEQUENCE: {METEMPSYCHOSIS}]

Metempsychosis, you say? I vaguely remember the term, let me google it.. Oh, wait.

Damn it.

Metempsychosis means.. transmigration of the soul, yes?

Wait.

It hurts.

What hurts?...

But it hurts. It really does hurt.

But what hurts?

It hurts. My mind-

Hurts, hurts hurts hurts hurts hurtshurtshurtshurtehurtshurtshurtshurts

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

Stop! Make it stop!

…

Oh, it has stopped.

[Quest complete.]

[Be Reborn]

Nani?

After a few moments of recalibrating senses, I felt the warm ground under me, and the overly irradiating, gigantic ball of orange over me.

I believe the locals called it "Sun".

"A-are you okay?"

Speaking of locals, I heard a voice close to me.

Turning a few millimetres, I saw a shape vaguely representing a humanoid.

"Can you speak?" It said, in a somehow-deeply-familiar-but-not-really language.

"Of course I have the ability to-" I tried to say, and I would've accomplished the feat, if not for the coughing fit I descended into.

"He needs help!... Anyone? W-where are you all going?! DON'T LEAVE ME WITH HIM!?" It screeched, irritating my auditory nerves.

Quite a few people had gathered, judging by the amount of departing footsteps.

"Aw geez, why do I have to do these things all the time?" It spoke to no-one in particular.

After a few seconds of seeming trepidation and stomping all over the place with its hominid feet, the bearer of the feminine voice let out an 'eep' and turned towards me. My portrayal of a dying, coughing existence had a dismaying effect on it, judging by the fact that it struck my upper part of the back with terrific strength.

After a few thousand soul-taking coughs my convulsion subsided, and I finally had the ability to analyze the hominid that had, in its mind, saved me from impending doom.

It was a sight to behold.

Not.

Imagine the most basic, normal, standard, ordinary, regular, undistinctive adolescent female you have ever seen and multiply it by pedestrianism.

Exactly six times.

"H-Hey, where are you going?" She asked, unexpectedly.

Wasn't she supposed to be exultant at seeing me depart?

"Nowhere and everywhere. Or someplace you don't know of. Or you do."

That will surely kill her enthusiasm.

"I-...What? Did you hit your head? You kind of almost died a few seconds ago, you ought to, y'know, lie down for a few minutes?" She pleadingly said, gazing at my departing presence.

The possibly-female has a knack for unessential chatter. I suppose I'll entertain the attention of this hussy.

"What purpose would me lying down hold? Are you perhaps trying to rob me?"

She obviously cracked under my questioning gaze.

"Huh? What? No, obviously not!"

What? I, wrong?! No, it is evident that she is trying to deceive me. As expected from a robber such as her.

Although, up until now, I had not taken note of the clothes she was wearing. It was a uniform of sorts, the upper half, the shirt being coloured white, with stripes decorating the arms, and with two distinctive ornaments emblazoned on the chest. The pants, resembling the Japanese hakama, were coloured red. A red belt tied the two together.

Also, I noticed the village that I had found myself in.

"Where are we?" I asked her.

Seemingly, my disregard for her attempt at robbing all of the nothing I had was an opportunity given by God to her, which she most enthusiastically grasped.

"We are in Junrinan, District 1 of the west side of Rukongai." She replied, a well-fabricated smile adorning her face, "Although, how don't you know that? Are you not from around here?"

"Uh, yes, one could say that. You see, I think I died recently." What's the point in lying? The worst that could happen is my death.

Snort

"Recently died? Um, I could help you out, if you want." She replied to my statement, visibly not-distraught. What? Had she seen a dead human before, or..?

"What is this 'Rukongai', exactly?" I questioned her further.

After a few seconds of contemplation, she answered, "Well, how should I say this, umm… It's where people go after they die."

.

.

.

Nani?

So I had died!

"Oh, that explains a lot. Thanks." I expressed my gratitude.

Blinking a few times in succession, she tilted her head in confusion, looking into the distance.

A few milliseconds later, her pupils dilated, as if she saw something of immediate interest.

"I'm so sorry, but I really have to go now! Um, you could ask a shinigami guard about stuff, I'm sure they'll help out!"

She prepared to run away, but her form promptly staggered and turned towards me, "My name's Hinamori, by the way." and then she continued on her path.

Hinamori, you say?

I vaguely remember the nam-

[Welcome to your new life, USER0000001!]

An incongruous, semi-translucent panel of ominousness and portentiosity appeared in my direct vision.

And then I instantly blacked out.

AN: Hmph, a canon character being the first person one meets after getting transported to the soul society? What are the odds of that?!

Close to zero. Buut the plot demands it, so..