It was a cool evening in wherever the fuck this story takes place in. The fourteen unfortunate contestants were on a boat heading to Pahkitew Island. Courtney was sitting down on her computer, writing to her K-pop libtard followers about why Chris Mclean should be fucking cancelled. Ezekiel was walking passed her when all of a sudden, he ripped out the biggest fart ever. Courtney inhaled it and let out a moan of pleasure. "Is it hot in here, or is it just Ezekiels farts?" Courtney asked, letting her nostrils fill up with the smell of Ezekiels tasty yet disgusting flatulence. "Sorry, beans really go right through ya, eh?" Is what Ezekiel would've said if he wasn't still a fucking feral beast that somehow got back on the show.
Chris and Chef walked up towards the teens, inhaling a whiff of that Zeke fart. "Welcome back to Total Drama! This season, fourteen campers from whoever the hell knows where will be competing to win 1 million dollars! Like literally every other time." Chris said to the audience. A young blonde surfer looked at Chris for two seconds, when all of a sudden her vagina starting dripping. "Those farts, and that face. I am wet." Bridgette said, falling to the ground, leaking the entire Pacific Ocean in the process. "This is really weird. I'm.. just.. gonna go over here now." DJ said, scooting away from all the weirdos. Harold (The epic gamer, don't frick with him libtards) was meditating in the air, learning new racial slurs from the gamer Gods above. Tyler was doing the same, but failing. "How do you do that so well Jabroski?" The gamer jock asked, rubbing his splinter covered ass. "Three hundred and seventy four hours of Fortnite." Harold explained, rubbing his temples in the process.
"The gamer aura is so strong!" Bridgette yelled, covering her eyes from Harolds godliness. "I can confirm! The gamer aura is way too strong!" Dawn yelled as she was drowning in Bridgettes ocean vagina. Courtney turned off her laptop and yelled at everyone with her stupid libtard teeth. "I WAS A C.I.T!" She raised her fist in anger. "Ni" B was about to say before being interuppted by the walking water cooler herself. "STOP YOU CAN'T SAY THAT!" Bridgette yelled. "gger." LeShawna finished. "Not on this sacred Christian show!" Bridgette yelled. Harold let out a sonic boom and started chanting. "Niggwardo squidwardo ligma stigma." DJ was covering his eyes. "Harold is spitting straight facts." Trent was there, for some reason. "He is speaking the language of the Gods." His eyes then started to melt into disgusting goo. "Ew, where's Cameron? He's so cute, not like you. You obsess over people!" Gwen said to Trent. Suddenly, meat beating noises were heard from the corner. Cameron was jerking himself off to yiff of Loona from Helluva Boss. "OH THERE YOU ARE!" Gwen yelled, hugging Cameron tightly. "Yeah, okay goth boomer." Trent said, not knowing where the fuck he is. "REEEE! LOONA! MY WAIFU! GWEN YOU RUINED MY JACK OFF SESSION YOU EEEE" Cameron yelled as he went sicko mode.
Out of the corner was Dave (the fucking incel), who was watching everything happen. "This is despicable!" He yelled. Scott then sneezed onto his Simp face. "Bitch." He said while chuckling. "WAS THAT SNOT?!" Dave yelled. Scott smirked. "Let's see how your 'girlfriend' Sky will love you now that you're all gross and icky!" Dave looked angry, more angry then usual. "Sky will love me, and I won't be told otherwise by you!" Dave yelled, still thinking that Sky is into him. "Let's see how much she'll love you when she's dead!" Scott yelled, pulling a bazooka out of his penis and shooting it at Sky. Dave let out an incel screech as Sky was blown to bits. Suddenly, Staci and Owen appeared and started to munch on her corpse. "ÇĤĘWĬ!" Owen yelled, blood dripping down his fat chin. Chef grabbed his broom and started hitting the tubs of lard. "GET OFF! THERE'S ONLY 14 CONTESTANTS ON THIS SHOW!" He yelled. Staci hissed and died of dysentary. Owen jumped off the boat and fucking drowned.
"Hi guys! I'm here to win!" Dakota yelled, raising her fist in the air. Harold bashed her skull in with a fucking aluminum bat. "Bros before hoes." He yelled, staring at the VSCO girls corpse. All of the contestants eventually make it to shore and Chris announced the teams. "Ezekiel, Bridgette, DJ, Harold, Scott, Dave and LeShawna. You are now the Black n-words." Chris pulled out a flag of Bill Cosby. "Does that mean we can say the n-word?" Ezekiel asked in a language only understood by cannibals in Papau New Guinea. "Racial slurs get me so... oooh yes." Bridgette moaned, as the entirety of Lake Urie dripped from her vajinjo. "Everyone else, Gwen, Cameron, Courtney, Dawn, B, and Trent. You guys are now the White Crackers. "NANI!" B yelled. "He speaks!" Courtney screeched, gritting her libtard teeth. "AAAAAAAAAAAAA"! Cameron screamed, the sound B's voice made his bodily organs go wild. "Shut up Beverley! We need you to stop talking or we lose ratings!" Chris yelled. Cameron then flinched and jizzed acid all over B's face. "Everybody settle the hell down!" Chris yelled, having enough of this bullshit. While all this chaos was going on, out of the river popped Anne Maria. "Hey there! I can join in if you want." She winked at the camera and put her hand on her hip. Chef grabbed his gun and shot at Anne Maria, who dodged and deflected the bullet and commited a JFK with Trent. "Ow that hurt!" Trent screamed as he fell into the lake, never to be seen again. "Fine you can join!" Chris said, crossing his arms. "Sweet!" Anne Maria yelped, standing next to Gwen. "Oh, thank God that guy is dead. He sucked." Gwen said, holding Camerons head in her elbow. "Yeah, he sucked your dick. OOOOOO" Courtney yelled. "Shut the fuck up, stupid monkey." Dave yelled in Incelnese. "No u." Courtney said, sounding like a Mike Bloomberg ad.
"Back on topic! For todays challenge, you will have to play a game of... ROCK PAPER SCISSORS! Teams, choose your tributes." Chris said, putting his arms behind his back. "I'm going for the black n-words. No buts. I'll DOMINATE the competition!" Dave screamed. "libtard." Harold whispered. "Oooh! Nice one!" Tyler yelled, high fiving Harold. "Hell yeah! Give it to him sugar babe!" LeShawna yelled. "So, the little bitch comes out to play." Dave said, rubbing his hands. Harold positioned his glasses like an anime character and cracked his knuckles. "Best of 9." Dave said, smirking. The two then started the game. Dave released scissors, and Harold released a World of Light blast, obliterating Dave into oblivion. "I think it's safe to say that the Bl- wait. Dave and Harold were on the same team..." Chris said. Dave fell to the ground breaking all his fucking limbs, but still somehow alive. "TECHNICALLY YOU WIN! THE WHITE CRACKERS LOSE! See you at the campfire ceremony tonight." The White Crackers all frowned, and it flashes to the ceremony.
"Welcome. If you do not receive a shiny pink dildo, you are out! Cast your votes in the confessional booths, and let's go!" Chris yelled. The contestants vote for one unlucky person, and Chef grabs the box of votes. "Alright, the first one to receive a dildo is... Gwen! Tyler! Dawn! Anne Maria! Courtney!" Chris yelled. The final two without pink cocks were B and Cameron. "And the final dildo goes to..." Chris said, the music building up suspense. Cameron was shaking in his moldy cum socks, while B was crossing his fingers. "Cameron." Chris said, tossing the cock to Cameron. "FUCK! YO THIS SHIT WHACK DAWG!" B yelled, shocking everyone. "Into the pit, B." Chris explained, kicking him into a huge empty dark pit. "Oh, that's my fetish!" Cameron said, showing his small 4 inch dick on live television. Chris grabs Cameron by the hood and threatens him. "I will drop you off if you don't stop masturbating in front of millions of people across the world, and in Yugoslavia." Gwen ran on all fours towards Chris. "NO! CHRIS PLEASE!" Cameron gave up. "Loona is waiting for me in hell. THROW ME CHRIS!" He yelled, hoping for his big tiddy furry gf in hell to give him a boobjob. Gwen tackled Chris, saving Cameron in the process. Chris fell down the pit into nowhere, and screamed for help. "My boner has peaked." Cameron said, staring at Gwen. "Do you want some uwu owo furry sex?" She asked. "GIMME GIMME GIMME!" Cameron screeched like a baby. Chef turned over to the remaining contestants with a awkward look on his face. "Well, looks like I'm the host now. Uuuh, you all go to sleep! I'll see you maggots tomorrow on Total Total Total Total Total Total!" Chef said, raising his hands in the air.