The Fourth Doctor
"Bo, Sko, Fo, Do, Kro, Mo, Sho, Bo, No, To!"
"Bless you!" the Doctor beamed, allowing the leather-clad figures to attach strong cuffs to his wrists.
One of these figures, whom was distinguished by a red bead upon his breast plate, held a small red device up to the Doctor's mouth.
"Hmm..." the Doctor frowned, heartily confused. "Well, I'd offer you a jelly baby, but...ha..." he lifted up his bound hands.
The creature ignored him and the Doctor heard his words repeated by the little red device, in high-pitched monotone.
"Language assimilated," the creature growled, "designation Earth English."
"Really?" the Doctor chuckled, "yes, well I suppose High Gallifreyan a little beyond your gizmo's memory banks."
"Silence!" the leader growled, "you are hereby under arrest for multiple intergalactic violations of"-
-"Yes, thank you. I'll exercise my right not to be cautioned, I do so hate a long list. Romana!"
"Doctor?" Romana replied sullenly, the Doctor's arrest presenting little to no surprise to her.
"These charming fellows seem reluctant to introduce themselves to me." It was true - they'd beamed onto the pier, scared the locals off, and placed him in handcuffs without so much as a hello. That was simply bad manners! "Would you happen to know who they are?"
She nodded. "I think...Judoon."
"Correct." The leader lifted his heavy, jutting helmet off and revealed the hideous grey-brown head of a rhino, with two large horns viciously poking from the snout.
"I'm charmed!" the Doctor beamed, giving the alien his best, scariest grin. "Well. Goodbye, Romana! I'll try not to be gone for long, but..."
The Judoon growled and seized his bound wrists.
"I'll wait for you," she told him, though she didn't sound at all happy about it. "I'll wait for you here, and look after the Tardis."
"Good girl," he said, allowing the Judoon to drag him into teleport position. "I will return!"
The Ninth Doctor
They were exactly as he remembered them, not that this was anything like a good thing. It was, in fact, a spectacularly bad thing.
They were camped clumsily around the wreckage of their ship, a vast red cylinder of metal which had dug itself deep into the ground, almost entirely buried beneath the forest. Only the top was visible, and the glade was now a deadened crater.
"Now, let's be reasonable about this," the Doctor said to the Judoon captain sternly, "you've been attacking the peasants around and about, and we can't be 'aving that. I understand that your violation of this planet's sovereignty was purely accidental, but the Shadow Proclamation aren't likely to forgive you murdering the people of a Level Four planet, right? What say we call a truce?"
"Judoon are permitted to take all measures necessary to the defence of the squadron and it's officers!" was the reply.
"Self defence?" the Doctor laughed. "Lady Znya here tells me you've just been letting rip at the poor beggars whenever they come into the woods. That ain't the right way of doing things, lads."
He frowned.
"Hold on..." he turned to Znya, who was shuffling her feet awkwardly.
"Well..." she said sheepishly, "it's true that one of my citizens did attack a Judoon first. But he was just scared, damn it! He was bladdered on ale, and it was the middle of the night! What would your reaction be, if one of these chaps came at you out of the dark?"
The Doctor turned back to the Judoon. "What's your counter to that?"
The Judoon looked at him blankly.
"Your..." the Doctor searched impatiently for the right words, which would help the simple-minded brute understand his meaning, "your...reply? What do you say in response to what she said?"
No reply.
"Ach," he waved his hands helplessly, "all right, never mind. You'll all be pleased to know that I've got the perfect solution!" he turned to Znya. "You'll release the officer you have hostage in the ice house, with your apologies. And you," he turned back to the captain, "will come into the village with me, and formally apologize for killing the citizens. In return, I'll effect the repairs on ya spaceship. You can go home! How's that for a good deal?"
"Ship irreparable," the captain said immediately, "Judoon will remain here, and wait for central command to send rescue craft."
"And what if they don't?"
"Central command will come to our aid!"
"But what if they don't? You've been here for weeks, chaps! Your radios are down, your completely cut off! For all you know, they might think your dead. An' I'll hazard a guess that a superb brain like mine can fix this "irreparable" damage that's 'appened to your ship."
The Judoon growled, and looked to Znya.
"We got a deal, right?" the Doctor pressed.
"Making a Judoon say sorry," the Doctor laughed, "that's summink you don't see every day."
"Not very sincere though, is he?" Rose laughed, as the captain of the Judoon stomped into the snowy, ramshackle town at the foot of High Keep, glaring at the nonplussed, raggedy peasants who'd emerged from their rough wooden warrens to gape at it. The bogeyman come to town! The night demon, out in the open in broad daylight! A rarer spectacle, never there was.
"Judoon here to make an official statement!" the captain barked harshly, baring it's teeth at the terrified townsfolk, "formal apology for the inappropriately harsh justice administered to your people." he nodded to his subordinate, who handed out several laminate slips, upon which large, alien writing was scrawled. "Compensation." he grunted, as the officer shoved the slips into the hands of the twenty-something peasants who'd gathered around the town square to witness the sight of the monstrous rhinos.
He turned on his heel. "Statement of apology tendered!" he told the Doctor, stomping off back towards the woods without another word, his underling following at his heels.
"Well," the Doctor said bracingly, grinning at the townsfolk, "weren't that nice of him!"
"Very moving." Jack said sarcastically, whilst Rose fought down an obvious urge to laugh.
"Yeah, well, it's a Judoon. What were you expecting, tears an' a box of choccies? Now come on, I'm freezing me fingers off out here."
They traipsed out of the quaint little town and parted ways at a fork in the road. The Doctor was accompanying the Judoon back into the woods, to fix their ship for them as promised. It would probably take him the entire night, and then some. Znya had gone to release the Judoon in the ice house, and Jack and Rose would be dining with her once she returned.
Rose
Was looking forward to her dinner.
It was far past time that she and Zyna had a proper chat, girl to girl.