Not mine, but a girl can dream.

Warning: language and and smut.

Thanks so much to Rach for her work as a beta and a partner in crime.

Chapter 21

I tried to maintain my balance as I watched my FTA haul ass up and over the fence and disappear into the street. Unfortunately his jump started a chain reaction as I heard the worst racket of my life. The pile of cars were quaking and screeching as metal scraped against metal. It made fingernails on a chalkboard sound as soothing as Cannon in D. I moved my hands from the car I had a death grip on to cover my ears. Not the smartest move. I could hear myself think now, but was about to fall nearly three stories. So I grabbed onto the remains of the number seven car and screamed like hell.

"Ranger!"

Better Man 22

Storyline borrowed from Lean Mean 13

As much as I wanted to be Wonder Woman, I was not looking forward to this jump. Where the hell was my invisible plane anyway? Shit. Fine mess you've gotten yourself into this time, Plum. I was wasting time atop a screeching pile of metal having a dialogue with myself when any sane person would be in the throes of getting themselves off of this tower. I managed to break away from my mental debate and work on getting my ass out of this mess in one piece. I thought about yelling for Ranger again, but I doubted he could hear me over this racket. I was positive he would hear the commotion, however, and know in a heartbeat that I was mixed up in it somehow.

I managed to shimmy down a few levels of cars so now I was only two stories off the ground instead of three. Maybe I was looking at a broken leg instead of a broken neck. That's good, right? The pile of cars was shifting rapidly, like they were all pulling away from each other. I looked up to see some of the cars on top were teetering, threatening to start rolling like an automobile avalanche. It was difficult to say if I was in more danger of the whole pile collapsing under me or getting crushed by a runaway pace car. Neither sounded like something I wanted to experience.

I felt the car below me give a big jerk, causing the one I was leaning against to pitch me forward and down yet another level. I was able to grab onto the door handle before gravity had the chance to put an end to my problem of how to get down. When I looked down from my new vantage point a little closer to the ground I figured I could make a decent jump and not break anything important. I was going to have to do it in a hurry because the #24 car was teetering big time and about to squash me like a bug. Stupid #24, I never was a big Jeff Gordon fan.

Okay Steph, you can do this. Deep breaths. Not like you don't regularly make stupid jumps. In fact, this one looked less stupid than some I'd made with little or no thought to the consequences. Alright. Eyes closed. Deep breath. Come on Steph, this is just like the garage. Yeah, and I broke my friggin arm. I willed my legs to move, but to no avail. It wasn't until I heard the huge crash of the #24 car roll down towards me that my survival instincts kicked in and I was airborne.

I would like to think I looked graceful as I descended my perch, gliding through the air. In reality I'm sure it was much more like a crate being dropped carelessly from a cargo plane. It was so ugly I couldn't even look. It seemed like I plummeted forever, but it was just a matter of seconds. I braced myself for the hard earth I knew was rushing up to meet me. I heard a loud crash as the creaking of the cars ceased and I assumed the rainbow colored car beat me to the ground. I was just glad I wasn't under it.

I landed with an audible "Oomph!" as all of the air rushed out of my lungs as I hit something hard. But it wasn't the ground. It was warm and smelled like Bulgari. I'd landed against Ranger's chest. I felt his arms surround me as he took a step back to absorb the impact of my fall. The words My Hero don't even begin to cover it. I willed myself to start breathing again and I looked into his warm brown eyes.

"Looking a little crazy there Babe." He smiled softly at me, but I could see the worry in his eyes. I swallowed hard, the emotions in his eyes and the rush of adrenaline had me on the verge of tears. I was in a state. I needed comfort and I needed it now. As much as I would like to have Ranger kiss it all better, the intensity of what I was feeling would have us both naked in this very public place in a matter of minutes. I decided to go a different route.

"Put me down," I wiggled so he released me before I turned to a blubbering idiot. I found my purse where I'd dropped it before I climbed the tower of metal and dropped to my knees as I began digging for my stash. While falling through the air I experienced the increasingly familiar experience of my life flashing before my eyes and I wondered how the hell I got myself into another one of these messes. I needed a fix and I needed it now. Yes! I found it. I ripped open the wrapper on my king size Hershey bar and bit into it with an audible moan. There is nothing like chocolate to calm your nerves or stall your tears.

Ranger took a seat next to me and smirked, "You carry chocolate in your purse?" He nodded to my candy bar.

"Un huh," I said around a mouthful of milk chocolaty goodness. "It's my emergency chocolate."

He raised an eyebrow at that, "Emergency chocolate?" I nodded. "You keep your gun in a cookie jar, unloaded, but you make sure you have chocolate with you when leaving the house?" He sounded a little bit appalled. Men don't understand anything. Men needed a spare tire and jumper cables. Women need emergency chocolate. Well, chocolate, a nail file, lipstick and hairspray. "Doesn't it melt?" he questioned.

I took another big bite and shook my head. Swallowing, I answered, "It's never in there long enough to melt."

He chuckled, "Do you have a lot of emergencies?"

I rolled my eyes at him. "Have you met me?" I asked. He nodded in defeat.

After I calmed down with the help of my sweet treat, Ranger scooped me up and we headed back to Rangeman. It was late afternoon and we had just enough time to get ready for dinner at my parents' house. I would have liked to have Ranger help me relax a bit before dinner, but there wasn't enough time. Plus maybe since it had been a few hours the afterglow wouldn't be so obvious. Yeah right, I was dreaming. I'd had enough sex in the last week to keep me lit up like the Christmas tree at Rockefeller Center until next Christmas.

I was nervous about dinner. Things had gone well the other night at Rossini's, but tonight could still be a disaster. For one, the alien who had taken over my mother's body could have decided the life of a burg wife was too much and high tailed it to dimensions unknown. I know I would have. And even if my mother was on her best behavior, there were still a million other things that could go wrong. I was pretty sure Grandma Mazur was going to be there. That's half a million disasters waiting to happen right there. Then Val's family would make up the other half. Oh Lord, help me.

I fought with my hair, poked myself in the eye with the wand of my mascara and I'd cut myself shaving. Finally I gave up in the bathroom and went to find something to wear. I could feel the beginnings of a major emotional meltdown and there just wasn't time. Luckily, before I could start to wallow, Carlos found me sitting on the bench in the dressing room with my head in my hands. He kneeled in front of me and took my face in his hands.

"What are you so worried about?" His voice was soft. I could tell there was underlying amusement, but he didn't dare laugh at me. "I've survived months in countries that could only aspire to be third world, pretty sure I can handle another Sunday dinner at the Plums." He probably could, but could our relationship? This was all so new. Tonight he was going to be reminded of the true craziness that is the Plum family and he was going to run screaming for the hills or at least call up the government and ask them to send him to a land far far away.

"Steph, I love you. Nothing your family says or does will change that. Besides, just wait until you meet my family. Italians haven't cornered the market on crazy. Cubans take it to a whole new level." He was grinning at me. I was skeptical. He was so normal; well not normal, outstanding, amazing, fantastic, fabulous maybe, but definitely not normal. How could he come from a crazy family? Wait, did he say he was going to take me to meet his family?

"Yeah Babe, I want you to meet them. If you didn't it would make the wedding a little awkward." Now he had the full 200 watt smile.

"Www…wedding, what wedding? Whose wedding?" I think I was in shock.

His face was soft, but serious "Our wedding, someday. I hope someday soon, but that's up to you. This isn't a proper proposal, that will come later, but this is a promise. I want you, us, our forever, in whatever way, shape or form we see fit. And nothing your family or mine can do or say will change that." He grinned again, "Not even your grandma."

Wow, wow, wow, wow. Forever, with Batman. I didn't have any more time to worry or over-think our conversation. I only had enough time to throw on some clothes and Ranger whisked me out the door and to the burg.

Dinner at my parents' house went pretty smoothly. Grandma only tried to grope Ranger twice. Albert seemed to have developed a man-crush on him as well; I think he was a little jealous as my dad took them to the garage for a little bonding over the Cuban cigars Carlos had brought. No one asked about my sex life and my mother didn't even mention Joe. I also noticed she only had one glass of wine and was very cordial to Ranger, or Carlos as she now called him. I still called him Ranger mostly, except when things got um, intimate.

It didn't get by me that the menu for Sunday dinner was by far the healthiest I'd ever seen it. There was roast chicken and vegetables. The gravy was even on the side! I'm sure it was in Ranger's honor. Guess the alien decided to stay a while. I was lulled into a false sense of security so I offered to help with the dishes. Before I knew it my mom and I were alone in the kitchen.

She asked me seemingly innocent questions about Ranger's business and then his family. "Have you met his family Stephanie?" Code for when is the wedding? She wasn't pushing; nudging I guess would be more like it. But it felt different. For the first time it felt like she was more interested in what I wanted than what she wanted for me. I was still trying to come to terms with Ranger's declarations of his plans for our future and wasn't ready to share that with my mother.

I sighed a little, "Mom, you've met Lester, his cousin. And do you remember his daughter Julie? You met her at the hospital." After Scrog, I thought to myself.

Mom was busy whipping the cream to top the cake and absentmindedly answered. "Yes, beautiful girl, and so strong willed. She reminded me of you at her age." I smiled, but as my mother continued, my smile faded. "Such a sad day, I remember the way the two of you clung to each other as you waited for news…" She finally realized what she was prattling on about and took in the look on my face and she stopped. Putting down her bowl and whisk she wiped her hands on her apron and took quick steps to where I stood at the table and wrapped her arms around me. "I'm sorry sweetheart. That must be a horrible memory for you. I should have seen it then, the love you had for him." I shuddered and blinked hard to try to keep the tears at bay. She pulled back and saw the pain in my eyes and allowed me to excuse myself to the back step to gain some composure.

My parent's back yard was a great place to escape too. The yard was small, but held a single large oak tree that concealed most of the narrow alley behind it. There was just enough space for a small garden and narrow path from the back steps to the garage. In the summer it was a great place to catch lightening bugs and look at the stars. Tonight I just needed an escape. The cool air hit my overheated skin and I shuddered at the memories. Scrog. Ranger walking into my apartment, unarmed and ready to die for us. The look on his face. He loved me too. Before that day there was a small part of me that knew I loved Ranger, but that small part had successfully kept itself hidden. After that night, the rest of me couldn't deny it anymore.

So if I knew I loved him and that he loved me too, what had taken us so long? What had kept us apart? Fear. My fear. I may have known that he loved me, but he had told me his life didn't lend itself to relationships. So even knowing how he felt about me, I wasn't sure that he'd ever allow himself to act on his feelings. Plus, if I acted on my feelings and I drove him away I'd lose him forever.

I didn't want to think about what my life would be like without him. I thought back to earlier today and my most recent brush with death, the feel of Ranger's arms around me as he caught me. He caught me. He'd always been there to catch me. So why had I been such a coward? Why had I wasted so much time?

If the new and improved professional Stephanie was going to be prepared and have back-up and be kick ass at her job, why couldn't I do the same on the personal front? Carlos had offered me everything I wanted, forever, with him and I had just sat there dumbly. I wanted that life. I wanted him. I only wanted that life, a marriage, a family if it was with him. It was time to stop being afraid and go after what I wanted. My life, my love, my future was waiting for me in the dining room. So what the hell was I doing out in the backyard freezing my ass off?

I stood up off the back stoop and dusted myself off after my little pep talk. As I reached for the door handle I heard a noise and there was movement in the bushes that caught my eye. It was the timid meow that clued me in to who my visitor might be. Nookie, Mrs. Markowitz's kitten, must have gotten out again. I took a few steps towards my mother's hydrangeas that lined the walkway to the garage when I caught a glimpse of her orange fur as she raced toward the alley. I followed her, calling her with the ever so effective, "Here kitty, kitty." This is why I have a hamster, I thought, as her tail disappeared under Mrs. Gritch's fence. Forget it. I love animals, but I was not scaling a fence for a cat too dumb to come in out of the cold. I turned to head back to my parents house and ran into a familiar chest. I stumbled and a hand reached out to grab me while another hand covered my mouth. I swallowed the desire to scream as I looked up into the dark eyes of Joe Morelli.

I narrowed my eyes at him, but his hand stayed clamped over my mouth. His voice was hushed, but not quite a whisper. "Please, I just need a minute." I heard a noise behind him and saw Bob sniffing at the fence where Nookie had disappeared. I raised my eyebrow, well eyebrows at Joe in question. Was he stalking me now or what?

He looked a little sheepish, "I was out walking Bob when I heard your voice; I wanted to see you, apologize." I was doubtful of his sincerity and worried this would just be a replay of our last few confrontations and I was not up for the fight. But there was something about the look in his eyes, regret or sorrow maybe. I nodded and he removed his hand.

He looked over his shoulder; probably worried Ranger would come out guns blazing. It was a definite possibility. While the whole handcuff fantasy thing had softened Ranger's attitude towards Joe, I was sure he wouldn't be pleased to see me standing in a dark alley with him again. When Joe saw the coast was clear he continued. "I know I don't deserve the chance to explain myself, but I couldn't leave it like we did the other night." His tone begged me to hear him out so I nodded for him to continue. I did take a step back though and crossed my arms over my chest. Partly as a defensive mechanism and also because I was freezing my ass off.

Joe shoved his hands into his pockets and spoke to the tops of his shoes. "I'm embarrassed by my behavior. I let pressure from my family and my ego get in the way of what I knew was right." He glanced up at me and looked like he wanted me to say, Don't worry about it or it's not your fault. I did neither, just waited for him to continue. He blew out a breath, "It hurt, it hurts to see you with him. I knew, I've always known…the way he looks at you, but more the way you look at him." It looked like the words themselves were causing him physical pain. Part of me felt sorry for him. I knew for a proud Italian male, confession was not easy.

His voice dropped even lower, just above a whisper, "I knew I was your second choice. I knew you were with me, but only because you couldn't be with him." Shocked doesn't even begin to cover my reaction. He shrugged, "But I thought you'd get over it. Maybe you would never be as happy with me as you could have been with him, but that didn't mean we couldn't be happy, have a good life, a family. When you left I was embarrassed that I had been willing to settle."

He blew out a breath and ran his hand through his shaggy hair, "I know the burg has been hard on you, but it hasn't exactly been easy on me either." I couldn't bring myself to feel sorry for him; he'd been a big part of why it had been so hard on me. "I'm a Morelli boy. There have been whispers about my family, my father, for as long as I can remember. The way he was, it affected me in a lot of ways and none of them good." He paused again, working up the nerve to continue, "I acted out at an early age. I'm sorry." I'm guessing that was as close to an apology as I was going to get to the choo-choo incident. Too bad it was twenty five years too late.

He picked up a little steam as he continued, "But you aren't the only one who's spent your whole life living up to other people's expectations. I thought when I left for the Navy I could get away from it, but as soon as I came home and joined the police force I got sucked right back in." Now his arms were waving a little bit, "This time I went from being the bad boy to being the golden boy overnight. Now suddenly I was supposed to be the example of what boys should want to be, not who mothers warn their daughters against." He scratched his head like he was still trying to figure it all out.

Finally I spoke. "Why are you telling me all of this?" I felt for him, really I did. But this was all water under the bridge.

He sighed, "I guess this is a long winded apology. I didn't like the way we left things the other night. I was awful to you. I'm sorry." No shit, I wanted to say, but didn't.

He opened his mouth to continue, but then swallowed hard and began again. "I know I didn't treat you like I should have, like he does. I don't like him. But when it comes to you, I don't know, he's good for you. And you, you make him almost human. He would do anything for you. Hell, it kills me to say it Steph, but when it comes to you, he's the better man." I was dumbfounded. I agreed wholeheartedly. Never in a million years did I expect to hear those words come out of his mouth, not without a gun to his head anyway.

Now he was back to talking to his shoes. "I'm leaving. There's an assignment that came up and I took it. I need to get out of town for a while. I leave tomorrow for DC." He grabbed Bob's leash and turned to walk away, his hands shoved deep in his pockets, shoulders slumped forward.

"Joe," I called after him. He turned back for a moment. "Be careful." He gave me a sad smile.

His voice was rough, "You too Cup…Steph, you too." With that he turned back and disappeared around the corner.

I took a deep breath and tried to keep the tears from falling. I stared at the spot he had disappeared to. His words echoed in my head. He hadn't always treated me well. No he hadn't. But what about how I'd treated him? I'd used him as a substitute for the man I really wanted so I wouldn't be alone. I hoped we could get past this; maybe someday we could go back to being friends. I let out the breath I didn't realized I'd been holding and turned back to the house. I couldn't wait to get back to Ranger, to my life and to my future. I planned to give him a big hug and kiss when I reached him. But I never made it.