Not mine, but a girl can dream.

Warning: language and and smut.

Thanks so much to Rach for her work as a beta and a partner in crime.

Chapter 23

I answered questions about my brief abduction and the whereabouts of Petiak. Thankfully someone had managed to shut down the crusher, but I didn't they would find much of him. What had been left in big enough pieces was probably barbecued when the propane tank from his flame thrower exploded. Sometimes I love karma. I listed the offenses of Tall-Fat and Short-Fat as they were led away. The guys just shook their heads at my nicknames.

Finally Ranger was able to convince them that anything else they needed to know we would be happy to answer tomorrow down at the station. As we were leaving Joe asked, "Neither of you know anything about the Pino's Gift Certificate or case of beer that was delivered with a blank thank you note to my house today do you?" I looked at Ranger, the shock on my face evident. His was of course blank.

Ranger scooped me up and headed towards his car as he threw over his should to Joe, "I always pay my debts Morelli."

Better Man 24

Storyline borrowed from Lean Mean 13

Yum…nothing like the smell and feel of Ranger in the morning. As Lula would say, I am one lucky bitch. Just his touch sets me on fire and soothes me at the same time. If I could put it in pill form I'd be a billionaire. Of course the glow of being thoroughly sexually satisfied helped too. They already make a pill for that, not that Ranger needed it. But the two of them together, oh wow. Wow, wow, wow. My head was on Ranger's chest and my leg nestled between his as I lay halfway on top of him and the other half curled into his side. Lifting my head to glance at his gorgeous face I found his eyes were still closed but his lips were curled into a content smile. I moved up his chest, kissing all of the beautiful skin I found along the way.

"Mmm…" I felt his chest rumble in response to my version of a wake-up call. He pulled me close to him and held on tight. If I didn't know better I'd think he was reassuring himself I was still here after the events of the last 24 hours. But he was Batman. Batman didn't do worry. Yet again, he'd rescued me, he'd saved me, and he'd been there to catch me.

The words popped out of my mouth as soon as I thought it, "You caught me." It was almost like a question, like I was in awe of how he'd yet again saved the day.

"I'll always catch you." His voice was still thick with sleep and extremely sexy. He put two fingers under my chin and tipped my head up so he could kiss me. "Always," he whispered against my lips before claiming them again. Just as things started to heat up, we heard the door to the apartment open. Ella. Food. Yum. My stomach let out a growl voicing its very adamant desire. The other object of my desire laughed as he lifted me out of the bed with him. He gave me a gentle push in the direction of the bathroom while he pulled on some lounge pants and went out to greet Ella.

After taking care of the most pressing needs I grabbed my bathrobe and padded out to find Ranger setting up breakfast in bed. I moaned when the fantastic aromas of bacon and waffles reached me. Looking up, my man shot me a 200 watt smile. My man, that had a nice ring to it.

I walked towards him, wrapping my arms around his waist from behind. I gave him a squeeze, "You know if I wasn't already in love with you this might have pushed me right over the top." I placed kisses across his broad muscular shoulders before he moved to the bed and pulled me down with him. We settled in side by side to enjoy our breakfasts. My waffles I'm sure had healthy stuff in them I couldn't see because Ranger was eating them too. Of course his were topped with fresh fruit and mine with butter and real maple syrup.

After we'd polished off our meals we carried our dishes to the kitchen. Ranger rinsed the dishes and placed them in the dishwasher while I refilled our coffee cups and made sure the leftovers made it into the fridge. I took a seat at the island and sipped my coffee enjoying the moment. Normally something so domestic and intimate would send me running for the hills, but not this time. This time it was different.

Ranger cut into my musings when he took the seat next to mine and asked, "Babe, why was there a crushed Porsche hanging from the crane last night?" We hadn't had a chance to talk about what had happened except for the Q & A session with the detectives. It was late when we finally finished with the police and I promptly fell asleep on the ride home. I guess I'd had one too many near death experiences in one day, even for me. I remember waking briefly as Ranger undressed me for bed, but even my hormones were too tired to do anything about it. What? It had been a long week!

"Didn't you recognize it?" I thought for sure Mr. Need to Be More Aware of Your Surroundings would have recognized his own car hanging in midair.

He smiled, "Of course I recognized it. I haven't seen many cars that have been crushed by a garbage truck and then explode. I was just wondering why it was hanging from the crane."

"I was destroying the museum." I mumbled under my breath, busying myself with checking my cuticles. The whole display had been embarrassing.

One eyebrow shot up, "Museum?"

I let out a big sigh. "When we were at the junkyard yesterday and you were on the phone I walked around a bit. I came across a special section of cars. They weren't crushed or stacked on top of each other. They were all set up like a museum. They were my cars. The ones I've destroyed. They made a goddamn museum out of them." My hands clenched into fists and my shoulders tensed up.

Ranger was rubbing my back, trying to help me keep my anger in check and offer comfort. He always knew just what I needed. I continued, "So when I couldn't find a phone to call you I thought if I made enough noise that the neighbors would call the cops. I thought crushing cars would get the job done. First I crushed the yellow Escape." I shuddered. The death of that car had been the start of my involvement with the Slayers. "Then I crunched up the Saturn that Stiva exploded with Mama Macaroni in it. Then I grabbed the Porsche, but I wasn't sure I wanted it destroyed. Anyway, that's when Petiak fell in and went boom." You would think that I would be a little upset about witnessing a man's gruesome death but considering what his plans for me were, I couldn't bring myself to give a crap. I looked up at Ranger, "Besides, that was the first car you ever loaned me. It was special."

Ranger chuckled, "Do you want me to have it bronzed?" I moved my hand to hit him on the chest for teasing me, but he caught my hand easily and brought it to his lips, placing a kiss on my palm. "How about you let me give you a new one?"

Now my eyebrow shot up, of course it took the other one with it. I opened my mouth to say, no, it's too much, 'll just destroy it, when his words from our first date filled my head. I'd protested the diamond earrings telling him I didn't expect him to buy me expensive things. He'd said, "I know, that's what makes it so much fun to give you things. Get used to it. I don't want you to put up a fight every time I want to give you something." When he'd added a please to the end of it, I'd caved.

I answered, "We'll see." He grinned, knowing he'd won.

We discussed Petiak and his buddies, Short-Fat and Tall-Fat and what would happen to them. He also told me that both Dickie and stapled nuts Dave were currently being readied to hand over to the Trenton PD. It felt good knowing there were no crazies currently trying to bbq me or do anything else equally horrible. I could get back to my normal life. I could go back to my apartment. Oh goodie. The thought of moving back there had no appeal anymore. This was my home. The thought thrilled me and scared me at the same time.

Ranger's voice woke me from my musings, "What's on your agenda for today?"

I shrugged, "I need to pick up Diggery. His bond runs out at midnight." Vinnie would shit a brick if I didn't bring him in. Plus I wanted my sweatshirt back. I still had no idea how he'd gotten it. I'd taken him in before and he was never one of the crazies. He'd never broken into my apartment.

"You're taking Lester?" It sounded like a question, but it really wasn't. I nodded. I hadn't seen Lester since the handcuff incident. I'd finally worked out my revenge. I was nervous about pulling it off, but if I could it would be worth it. "I don't like the look of that grin Babe." I gave him my best innocent who me? face. He wasn't buying it. "Well don't do anything that will leave him too scarred emotionally or physically." I just shrugged noncommittally.

We shared a not so quick shower before he headed off to be CEO Ranger and I was dressed like Rangeman Barbie. I was wearing my regular uniform, but an industrial strength push up bra and I went heavier than normal on the makeup. Ranger gave me a questioning glance, but I just smiled.

We made our way down to the 5th floor. As usual all noise stopped when Ranger entered the control room. Lester looked over at us from his cubical. I registered a look of shock and a little bit of fear before his Rangeman issue blank one fell into place. He's scared of little old me? Heh, heh, heh. This was going to be fun.

Ranger turned towards the conference room when I stopped him. I pressed my body up to his and whispered huskily in his ear, "Kiss me. Like you mean it." All too happy to oblige me he fused his mouth to mine, staking his claim. While he was in macho caveman mode I kicked it up a notch by reaching around him and grabbing his very fine ass and pulling him towards me. He made a noise that sounded like a startled gasp but quickly turned into a growl. When he finally pulled back we were both breathing heavy and the room was completely silent.

Bending slightly he whispered in my ear, "Behave." I gave him my innocent look again and a pat on the ass as he headed to his office shaking his head. I turned to find every man in the room staring bug eyed at me. Lester looked like he'd swallowed his tongue. Excellent.

"Bye guys," I gave them all a finger wave as I turned and sashayed my ass over to the elevator door, turning to call out seductively, "Les, are you coming?" He snapped back to reality and gulped before following me into the waiting elevator car. He took a spot on the opposite wall and tried to ignore the straining zipper on his cargos. I don't know how guys walk around with those things.

I'd chosen the Cayenne for the day. As I handed Lester the keys, I made sure to brush up against him. He sucked in a breath and climbed in the car without a word. We headed towards the burg. We needed to find Diggery today, but first I needed a doughnut. Lester seemed to relax as he drove. He wasn't quiet in a zone, but he didn't look ready to bolt either.

"So what happened to the truck beautiful? I noticed it wasn't in the garage. You didn't blow it up did you? I would have heard about that," he chuckled. Yeah, you and everybody else, I thought darkly.

Alright Steph, game on, you can do this. "Nope. Ranger's having it cleaned and detailed. It smelled like sex." I kept my voice casual and nonchalant. The car swerved as Lester gaped at me. "Les – the road!" I pointed and he returned his eyes to the windshield, but his mouth was still hanging open. I suppressed a satisfied grin and continued, "Don't look at me like that Lester. It's your fault!"

He tried twice but on the third try Les was able to make his voice work, "Wh..what do you mean my fault? I didn't have sex in Ranger's truck." He looked alarmed, like he was going to get in trouble.

I smacked him on the arm, "No silly. You're responsible for the inspiration." I giggled. I never giggled, but it seemed to fit the part I was playing. "I really should thank you." I gave him a sexy smile and ran my hand over his bulging bicep. "Ranger really liked seeing me in handcuffs." Another giggle. I sounded like an idiot. But I needed to up my game. My goal was to freak Lester out, not turn him on. I knew Lester thought of me as a sister, well not exactly a sister, but like family. And no one likes to hear about anyone in their family having sex. Even if Lester did initially enjoy it, he'll be freaked out that the sex fiend I want him to believe I've become might attack him. He knew Ranger would not like that at all. In fact, if Ranger got a hold of him he may never be able to enjoy thoughts like that again, not with properly functioning equipment anyway.

We pulled into the Tasty Pastry and Lester bolted from the car. I followed him into the bakery. I invaded his personal space as he stared at the pastry case, avoiding looking at me. The bakery was pretty full. We waited silently in line and I made sure to brush my breasts against his arm repeatedly. Right before it was our turn to order I caught Lester's eye and I nodded to the space behind the cannoli case, "Can you believe I had sex back there?" His whole body went rigid. So I babbled on, in a voice kind of breathy and low enough to ensure he would be the only one to hear me. "I mean it wasn't like it was great or anything. You know the first time and all. I do have to say though Joe's technique improved over the years."

Lester's knees buckled a bit. I ordered and paid for my doughnuts. He was still a little dazed as I lead him out of the bakery and back to the SUV. I didn't let up, continuing my evaluation, "I mean it isn't like most teenage boys even know what a clitoris is. Did you?" All I got was an indistinguishable grunt from him. He slowly put the keys in the ignition and I directed him to the Diggery's trailer house. I couldn't believe my plan was working so well. My plans usually blow up in my face, literally. This time, I'd judged rightly. Lester was horrified by my over sharing.

"I bet Ranger did," I mused. But I didn't want to think about Ranger being with other women so I changed the course of my thoughts. "I mean sex with Joe was good, pretty vanilla, but good. And size wise, well, I had no complaints there, but his ass was kind of hairy and that is so not a turn on." Lester made sort of a gagging sound and I took a big bite of doughnut, "But he's no Ranger. I swear that man's body was carved out of granite by an artist with an excellent imagination and an eye for detail. And if sex with Joe was vanilla, that makes Ranger Baskin Robins, all 31 flavors."

My phone chirped, interrupting me. It was a text message from Ranger.

Why did Lester have a hard on in the bakery?

I grinned and sent him one back. Payback's a bitch.

Seconds later my phone beeped again. That's not very nice Babe.

I quickly replied. I thought you weren't into nice.

His return message read Make sure Bad Stephanie makes an appearance tonight. Fantasy #4. I moaned aloud with the thought of Ranger in handcuffs and Bad Stephanie in control.

"Stop! Stop! Stop!" I looked up to see Lester throwing a fit in the driver's seat. He banged his head on the steering wheel and pulled over to the side of the road. Throwing the vehicle in park he wrenched his door open and shot out of the car. He paced back and forth in front of the car muttering in Spanish. He looked eerily like Ricky Ricardo in the episodes of I Love Lucy I always watched at Grandma Mazur's house as a girl. Looked like Lucy had some 'splainin to do. I forced myself to squelch the laughter that threatened to erupt. It was almost time to put Lester out of his misery. Almost, but not quite.

When he slumped against the hood of the car with his head in his hands I made my next move. I rearranged the girls to make the most of what God gave me and eased out of the car, making my way to Lester. I stood in front of him and rubbed his shoulders and upper arms. When he raised his head he found his face even with my Body by Victoria. "Less, what's wrong?" I cooed. "I hope I didn't offend you. It's just that since the other night, ever since you handcuffed me it's like a switch has been flipped. The sex was mind blowing, amazing, atomic. And now it's all I can think about. Poor Ranger, I can't keep my hands off him. And it's gotten so bad that he's looking for re-enforcements. He can't handle me. I thought I'd ask you for your help. I mean you're always up for this sort of thing, right? Ranger will be there of course; did I tell you he likes to watch? I'm sure he'd be fine with it. So what do you think?"

His eyes were wide, unseeing. He opened his mouth and then shut it again repeatedly, just small gurgling sounds coming out. Suddenly he had me crushed in a big bear hug, rocking me side to side like you would a small child. "Oh God Steph, I'm so sorry, I had no idea. I mean, I knew you were a little white girl from the burg, but this, I didn't expect…I mean Morelli, wow, I gave that guy way too much credit." He was talking, but I wasn't sure that it was to me. He just kept going, "It's okay, I can fix this. It's my fault, I shouldn't have handcuffed you. I've turned you into a sex maniac. You're groping Ranger in public, telling me about Joe's and Ranger's equipment, sexting and now you just invited me to a ménage a trios with my cousin." My body was shaking with silent laughter, but buried in his arms Lester thought I was sobbing. He patted my hair, "Steph, it's okay, you don't need to be embarrassed. We can get you help. I'm sure we can find some clinic for sex addiction, maybe where they sent Tiger Woods, or Halle Berry's husband or that guy from the X Files. We can keep it a secret. I'm sorry Steph. I never should have cuffed you."

Unable to take it any longer I wiggled out of his grasp and wiped the tears from my eyes, giving him a big shit eating grin. "You're right Lester, you shouldn't have. Payback's a bitch." His mouth that was hanging open in shock then slowly curved into a smile as understanding dawned on him. "Thanks Les, apology accepted."