Author's Note at the end.
Oh we've made quite a mess, babe.
It's probably better off this way.
And I confess babe,
In my dreams you're touching my face,
And asking me if I want to try again with you.
And I almost do.
Usagi was laying in bed when her communicator went off. She wasn't sleeping as she should've been. Instead, she laid there with dry tears in her eyes. It had been a few weeks since Mamoru broke up with her. Several long, excruciating weeks, yet every night felt like the first. Usagi spent every night since the break up crying herself to sleep. She didn't think she had anymore tears left in her body to cry out, and yet every night she proved to herself that she had more than her fair share of tears left. She still didn't understand what was going on through Mamoru's head. One minute, he wanted nothing to do with her, the next he was saving her life like he always did. It made no sense whatsoever. It also didn't help that Chibi-usa was around, always talking about him, and the things they got to do together. It was beyond annoying, and Usagi was sure that Chibi-usa was doing it on purpose just to mess with her. Unfortunately, it was working, and it hurt Usagi a lot more than she was willing to admit.
Still, Usagi had to put her feelings aside, and put on a brave face in order to save the world from the Black Moon Clan, which is what she did when Ami called to let her know there was trouble in one of the buildings downtown. Usagi got up, and transformed into Sailor Moon, and went to see what kind of trouble the Black Moon was causing tonight.
Sailor Moon arrived to the scene to an empty building. It was unusually quiet in this part of the city. Sailor Mercury, Sailor Mars, Sailor Jupiter, and Sailor Venus were all already there, waiting on Sailor Moon. "Sorry I'm late!" said Sailor Moon as she arrived. "Thanks for waiting on me!"
"It's alright. We need to get in there now though," said Sailor Jupiter.
"Okay, said Sailor Moon as the girls entered the building.
"Stay quiet you guys," whispered Sailor Mars. "The enemy is nearby. I can feel them." They walked around the first floor of the building until they heard a scream come from far away about them.
"Chibi-usa!" cried Sailor Moon. The girls immediately ran up several flights of stairs until they were close to the sounds of the screams. Sailor Moon busted through the door to find Chibi-usa hiding behind Luna-P in a big open room on the top floor. Rubeus was standing in the middle of the room.
"Give it up Rabbit!" screamed Rubeus. "I know you have the Silver Crystal! Now hand it over!"
"Stop right there!" cried Sailor Moon "Trying to bully a child in the middle of the night is not only annoying, and cruel, but it's unforgivable! I, Sailor Moon, will punish you in the name of the moon!"
"Ugh! Of course you show up! Just when I thought I had the little rabbit!" cried Rubeus, annoyed. "Very well. I'll just have to get rid of you."
"Oh no you won't! Venus Love Me Chain!" cried out Sailor Venus.
"Mercury Bubble Blast!" cried Sailor Mercury.
The two senshi blasted their powers towards Rubeus, and he managed to dodge both attacks. "You can't defeat me with your weak powers!" laughed Rubeus. He then snapped his fingers and a youma appeared. "I'm done for the night. Finish them!" The youma laughed in response.
"Sailor Moon! Grab Chibi-usa!" cried Sailor Mars. "Burning Mandala!" Sailor Mars threw her attack towards the youma as Sailor Moon ran to Chibi-usa. The youma took the hit, and then threw one towards Sailor Mars.
Sailor Mars fell in response. "Sailor Mars!" Sailor Moon shouted, running over to help her up. "Sailor Mercury! Sailor Venus! Get Chibi-usa out of here! I'll finish it from here!" The two girls followed Sailor Moon's instructions. Just as the three girls got out of sight, the youma threw an attack towards Sailor Moon. She braced herself, preparing herself for the hit that she had no time to run from when all of the sudden, the attack meant for her stopped.
"What was that?" asked the youma, confused.
Sailor Moon looked up to see a red rose in the middle of the room. "Tuxedo Mask!"
"Attacking girls in the middle of the night is something only creeps do! I, Tuxedo Mask will not allow it!" cried Tuxedo Mask. The youma laughed a billowing laugh in response and threw a blast towards Tuxedo Mask, that he dodged, and the blast hit the wall behind him instead, making the walls begin to fall. "Sailor Moon! Hurry! Finish him!"
Sailor Moon nodded. "Moon Healing Escalation!" The youma disintegrated into dust. The wall that was hit previously began to crumble at a fast pace at this point, the building beginning to fall apart. "Girls, get out of here!" Sailor Moon cried as the walls were falling around them.
"What about you?" called Sailor Jupiter from the other side of the room.
"I'll be fine! Just make sure Chibi-usa is okay!" screamed Sailor Moon. Just then, part of the ceiling began to fall towards Sailor Moon.
"Sailor Moon! Watch out!" screamed Tuxedo Mask, running towards her.
Sailor Moon gasped in response, before she rolled on the ground, with Tuxedo Mask lying next to her. "Mamo-chan!"
"Get up! We need to get to the elevator!" cried Tuxedo Mask as he grabbed her hand, and led her towards the elevator. He immediately pressed the button for the first floor, but it wouldn't move at first. "Come on!"
"Mamo-chan! We need to get out of here! We should've run towards the stairs!" urged Sailor Moon.
"They're blocked off!" cried Tuxedo Mask. The doors then closed, and the elevator began to go down. "Thank goodness," Tuxedo Mask said relieved. Just then, the elevator abruptly stopped, making the pair fly to the ground with Sailor Moon landing on Tuxedo Mask's chest.
"What was that?" asked Sailor Moon, panicked. She instinctively grabbed Tuxedo Mask's jacket.
Tuxedo Mask adjusted himself so that they were kneeling, wrapping his cape around Sailor Moon, not thinking. "We must've stopped. There may be some blockage below."
"How do we get out of here?" asked Sailor Moon.
"I'm not sure yet. I'll see if I can find some kind of emergency exit. Just stay put for now," said Tuxedo Mask as he stood up and began to look for an exit.
Sailor Moon couldn't believe it. Not only was she trapped in an elevator, but she was trapped with her ex, who also just saved her life. She was so confused. If you no longer loved someone, why risk your life to try to save them? Chibi-usa was safe, and wasn't even there anymore by the time he arrived. He should've never shown up in the first place, and let her die, or figure out how to escape herself. She would've been fine without him. A part of her wanted to ask him why he was there, while the other part told her to keep her mouth shut. She went back and forth with herself for a minute, before deciding she had nothing to lose at this point, so she asked, "Why did you come here tonight?"
Tuxedo Mask stopped looking. "What do you mean?"
"Or anytime I'm in trouble?" Sailor Moon continued as if Tuxedo Mask didn't say anything. "Why do you keep saving me time and time again?"
Tuxedo Mask breathed in deeply, and let out, "Because I don't want you to get hurt."
"I don't buy that. You care if someone gets hurt when you love them," said Sailor Moon. "And you told me you don't love me anymore. So why do you still come?"
"Some things aren't meant for you to understand," Tuxedo Mask said through gritted teeth. "And you don't have to love someone to care about their safety."
Sailor Moon looked down. "So you really don't love me?"
No. "I didn't say that," sighed Tuxedo Mask.
Sailor Moon looked back up at him, hopeful. "So you do love me?"
Tuxedo Mask sighed again, looking down. Yes. More than anything. "I didn't say that either."
Sailor Moon's eyes began to water. She wanted to scream at him. Tell him how he was the biggest jerk in the entire world, and tell him that he was literally killing her. That she couldn't keep going through this anymore. That her heart couldn't keep breaking over and over every time she saw him. She wanted him to either tell her that he had a good reason for this, or stay away from her forever so that she could have a chance at moving on. There was so much she wanted to say right now. There was so much she almost said to him. Just almost. Instead, she said through her tears, "So just tell me why? Why do you keep coming to save me?"
"Usagi," said Tuxedo Mask. He paused, clenching his fists, then taking a deep breath, trying to relax and choose his words carefully before he spoke. He couldn't tell her the truth. He had to keep her safe. This was the only way. "I will always care about you deeply. We have had a beautiful past that I will forever cherish, but in our lives, today, and right now, I am not in love with you. I will always be here to protect you, as someone who cares about you, and never wants to lose you. The world need you, Sailor Moon, and it is part of my duty as Tuxedo Mask to keep you in this world so that no one ever destroys it. For that reason alone, I will always protect you."
"I see," said Sailor Moon, tears still rolling down her face. "I'll always love you Mamo-chan. I hate this so much."
"I know." Tuxedo Mask began to look for an exit again. "I wish I could make this hurt less for you, but it has to be this way. I'm sorry." He then felt an opening in the top of the elevator. He opened it up, and climbed through it. Once at the top, he reached his arm through the hole. "Come on. Let's get out of here."
Sailor Moon reluctantly took his hand, and let him help her up. Even though she understood, she still didn't like what he had to say, and she got the feeling he was hiding something from her. She could tell he was more careful than usual. Still, he did say that he cared about her, and would always be there to protect her. "Thank you."
"Climb on my back. There's an opening a few feet up. I think I can get us there," said Tuxedo Mask. Sailor Moon climbed on his back, and wrapped her arms around his neck. "Ready?" She nodded. "Hold on." He then leapt up, grabbing the edge of the opening. "Sailor Moon, go ahead and crawl up, and then help me up."
"Okay," said Sailor Moon. She then began to crawl up his back, but she slipped, and began to fall.
"Usako!" cried Tuxedo Mask. He caught her with his hand before she could completely fall down the elevator shaft. "Hang on!"
"I'm trying!" cried Sailor Moon.
"Whatever you do, don't let go!" Tuxedo Mask cried. He was holding on to her as tight as he could. He couldn't lose her. He would make sure of it.
Sailor Moon began to slip. "Mamo-chan!"
Tuxedo Mask began to grip her tighter. "I've got you! Just keep hanging on!"
Just then, two voices were heard. "Sailor Moon! Tuxedo Mask!" called the voices.
"Over here! Hurry!" cried Tuxedo Mask.
Sailor Mars and Sailor Mercury appeared in the opening that Tuxedo Mask was holding on to. The two girls immediately pulled Tuxedo Mask and Sailor Moon up.
"Are you guys okay?" Sailor Mercury asked.
"Yes," said Sailor Moon, standing up. "Is Chibi-usa okay?"
"Yeah, she's with Sailor Jupiter and Sailor Venus," said Sailor Mars.
"They're all safe," smiled Sailor Moon. She then turned to Tuxedo Mask. "Thank you for saving me."
"Anytime," said Tuxedo Mask, tipping his hat. "The world needs you Sailor Moon. Don't you ever forget that. You girls get home safe." He then left without another word.
Sailor Mercury, and Sailor Mars then turned to leave, while Sailor Moon lingered for a minute, looking at the last spot she saw Tuxedo Mask in before he left, taking in everything he said to her. She still didn't feel at peace with his explanation. It was too…generic. Calculated. There was no way that was it.
Not wanting to waste any more time, Sailor Moon met the girls downstairs, and went home. Once there, she de-transformed, and immediately went to bed.
Usagi slept for a solid hour before waking up in a fright. "Mamo-chan!" she cried. She woke up with tears in her eyes. She was gasping for air, and sweating a lot. Something wasn't right. That dream felt so real, and it was so scary. She immediately grabbed her phone, ready to call Mamoru to see if he was okay, and tell him about the dream, but she stopped. It was late. He was probably sleeping. It was just a dream. It was just a dream. Unbeknownst to her, that very dream would be what her life would be plagued with for the next few weeks.
Mamoru's Apartment
Mamoru immediately woke up in a panic. "Damn it! Not again!:" he cried. It was the same nightmare that plagued him for the past several weeks. The one that made him break things off with Usagi. The one that was keeping him from being with the woman he loved. He slammed his fists on his bed, and then put his hands over his face. A single tear fell from his eye. He hated what he was putting Usagi through. He hated it more than anything. Tonight was so hard for him. He tried his best to keep it together while he was alone with Usagi in the elevator. He tried his best not to lie to her-even though he did. How he wanted to scream at the top of his lungs, and tell her just how much he loved her! How he wanted to scream at the top of his lungs that he would do anything to keep her safe-including break her heart. If her heart was broken it meant that she was alive, and he could never live with himself if he lost her.
It was so hard. Mamoru's pull to Usagi was magnetic. He could never just up and disappear from her life. It's why he vowed to protect her even though she didn't want him to. If he was there, doing everything in his power to keep her safe, then he could be okay with his decision. It was the only thing keeping him going at this point.
Mamoru reached for his phone, and pulled up a photo he'd saved of them. Minako took the photo. It was just a few days into their relationship. They were at the park, having a picnic. They were both sitting under a tree, smiling. It was a wonderful day. His eyes lingered on the photo, remembering how happy he felt that day. He would give anything to go back. Anything, to tell her the truth. He closed the photo, and scrolled through his contacts, landing on her name. Usako. He almost hit the call button. Almost.
He groaned, and put his phone down. He couldn't call her. He couldn't tell her the truth. Usagi had to be protected at all times. His happiness damned.
And I just want to tell you,
It takes everything in me not to call you.
And I wish I could run to you
And I hope you know that every time I don't
I almost do.
I almost do.
Here's another one shot that I had in my head. I've been binge watching so much Sailor Moon lately, and I watched the episode where Sailor Moon and Tuxedo Mask were stuck in the elevator in season one, and thought about how different it would be had it been done during the break up. I've also been listening to a lot of Taylor Swift lately, particularly, her Red album and the song "I Almost Do" really stood out to me as an inspiration to this story. Particularly with the dreams in the end of the story. I hope you guys enjoy my POV on how I think it would've gone done. I'm sorry I didn't give them a happy ending, but honestly, it wasn't a happy time for Usagi and Mamoru. It was painful, and heartbreaking, and I really wanted to play on that. Feel free to let me know what you guys thought. And I will be writing a lot more now that I've quit a toxic job, and will be starting a new one with better hours! Yay! Hopefully I will be able to start working on my multi chapter story with this new job so fingers crossed!
Thank you to anyone who took the time to read this, and let me know what you think!