Review Responses:

JustVildaPotter: I'm desperately waiting to write the triplet drama! And I'll have to write 'Calamari' in there somewhere. Thanks for reviewing!

Raven (Guest): Thank you! I loved writing that scene between the Quagmires. It was sweet, with just the right amount of hidden tension. *winks* ALL OF THE ABOVE? I knew everyone would answer that. See below.

In answer to the question at the end of the last chapter, I'm bad at making quizzes, so you will find all of those in this chapter. Enjoy the chapter!

Chapter Twelve

"One of our agents lost it in the Stricken Stream. I need someone who can read tidal charts to find out where the Sugar Bowl is headed. The Queequeg needs to find it and deliver it to the last safe place in time for the V.F.D. gathering on Thursday."

As I hope you remember, Fiona was explaining the mission of her submarine, the Queequeg to the Quagmire and Baudelaire orphans. Violet was getting increasingly annoyed every time the teenager spoke.

"Thursday is less than a week away," said Violet. "What's so important about a sugar bowl, anyway?"

"Both sides of the schism are after it. It has been changing hands between V.F.D. members for years. It's critical that we locate it before Esmé Squalor can get her hands on it."

"Esmé?" This came from Sunny. She meant something like: "What the heck is a schism?" But nobody bothered to translate or explain. Sunny sighed and followed Phil into the kitchen- or galley, as people on ships called it.

Fiona continued her explanation. "My sources tell me that Esmé and Count Olaf are currently combing the sea in a submarine they were given by a man with a beard but no hair and woman with hair but no beard." Fiona pushed open a set of doors in one side of the room, which led down the hall into the Queequeg's library.

"What's in the Sugar Bowl?" Violet inquired.

"That's top secret."

"You want us to help you search for something we know nothing about when we could be headed for a V.F.D. gathering?"

"Without the Sugar Bowl there is no gathering." Fiona glared at Violet. "And I don't want you to, I order you to."

"I don't take orders from people from people I barely know."

"As long as you are on board my sub you obey your captain and your captain orders you to look for the Sugar Bowl!"

"Violet, why don't you and I help Quigley with those tidal charts?" Duncan pulled Violet away before the argument could escalate any more.

"I'm sorry about my sister," Klaus told Fiona as they pulled various books off the library shelves. "She isn't usually like that."

"It's my fault," Fiona said. "I shouldn't have shouted. I've been under so much pressure lately, with my father being gone and all."

Klaus smiled. "And you're on a submarine."

Fiona giggled. "Aye, that too." Noticing Isadora for the first time, she turned toward the door. "I'll leave you two to the research. I should have Quigley explain the tidal charts to me."

The moment Fiona was gone, Isadora turned on Klaus. "So, what do you think of Fiona?"

"She's very nice." Klaus set a pile of books on the reading table.

"Nice, charming, pretty. Captain of a submarine. That girl's just the dream, isn't she?"

Klaus finally understood what the post was trying to get at. "Isadora-"

"I've seen the way you look at her. I'm not stupid, you know."

If this had been any other girl, Klaus would have responded by saying, 'Well, you're doing a really good impression of it.' But this was Isadora Quagmire. "I don't-"

"She looks at you. And Quigley looks at her. Better watch out Klaus, my brother is tough competition." Isadora slammed her pile of books into the table. "But that's not a problem for you, is it?"

"Isadora, I don't feel that way about Fiona."

"What if I wasn't here?"

Klaus was taken aback. "What?"

"You know what I mean. If I had floated away on that hot air mobile home, how would you feel about her then?"

"Izzy," Klaus said gently, stepping closer to her, "I love you. And I don't care how many girls come along. Nothing can change that."

"Really?"

"Really." He leaned in and kissed her.

"Curse Fiona and her mechanical-mindedness. The Queequeg is in excellent shape."

Violet and Duncan were wandering aimlessly around the undersea craft. Violet was trying to find something to fix, and Duncan was trying to take her mind off Fiona. Neither orphan was having any success.

"Maybe Sunny needs help with the cooking."

"I can barely make toast, Duncan."

"Noted." Duncan pushed open a door leading into a small room filled with diving equipment. "Explain how an air lock works."

"We put on the diving helmets and close the door. The room fills with water, and a hatch opens to let the divers explore the outside world."

"Something allows you to breathe, right?"

"The helmets connect to an oxygen tank," said Violet, her tone implying that everyone should be aware of that fact.

"See, you can educate me about mechanical devices. That's much more exciting than ranting about Fiona, isn't it?" Duncan cursed at having uttered the young submarine captain's name.

Violet went on with her rant. "I don't trust her. She's hiding something."

"You don't know that."

"I can tell."

Duncan sighed. "Tell me something about yourself. You know I'm claustrophobic. What are you afraid of?"

"Count Olaf. What 'sources' are telling her everything? How does she know so much about us?"

"Yeah, I'm claustrophobic and, um, fire-phobic? I don't know the word for being afraid of fire. Come on Violet, tell me something about yourself."

"You can interview me later, Duncan. Go interrogate Fiona and find out what she's up to."

In response, Duncan pulled Violet close to him and pressed his lips to hers.

"Find anything interesting?" Fiona entered the engine room.

"Besides these maps?" Quigley asked.

"You're a map guy."

"Cartographer, aye."

"Are you mocking your captain?"

"Maybe a little bit." Quigley put down his notebook. "So tell me, what's in the Sugar Bowl? One volunteer to another. Come on, don't be shy."

Fiona sighed. "I don't know. My father never told me. He said there were secrets in this world too terrible for young people to know."

"Parents keep a lot of secrets," Quigley said knowingly. "My father came home with a broken leg the night he died. He said he broke it breaking out of prison in Peru, but he wouldn't give me a straight answer when I asked what he meant." Quigley paused. "I know that's not exactly the same thing, but..."

Fiona gave him a kind smile. "I get it. Sometimes V.F.D. agents seem more wicked than noble. My father raised me on this submarine. He kept me here as his navigator when all I wanted to do was look for my bro-I mean, research mushrooms and see the world."

Quigley raised his eyebrows. "Traveling mycologist?"

"Now you sound like that baby."

Quigley laughed. "Are you calling me a baby?"

Fiona crossed her arms. "Hey, you mocked me first."

"Touché." Quigley studied the tidal charts for a moment and scribbled something in his notebook. "So what brings you in here? Besides my charming appeal, that is."

"Someone's full of himself," Fiona said with a shake of her head. She stared at Quigley's work, not knowing what any of it meant. "Your sister was glaring at me while I tried to have a conversation with Klaus. Looked like she wanted to murder me."

"Izzy's just protecting her boyfriend. Don't worry, she's harmless."

"She did seem like a lovely girl."

"Very lovely indeed." Quigley was staring at Fiona intently.

Fiona gave him a concerned look in return. "Are you trying to hit on me or your sister?"

"Dammit. That came out wrong."

"Very wrong indeed."

"Shut up."

"Excuse me? That's insubordination." Now Fiona was staring intently at Quigley, a smile tugging at the corners of her mouth.

Quigley grinned back at her. "Oh is it?"

"Very much." Fiona leaned across the table. Quigley met her in the middle, and their lips met as well.

"Cod chowder!" Phil announced, coming into the room with a large tray of food and Sunny at his heels. Fiona and Quigley burst apart. Fiona cried out as she hit her head against a pipe jutting out from the ceiling.

"Everything all right in here?" Isadora asked, entering the engine room at the same time as Klaus.

"Yes everything's fine." Quigley said very quickly.

"What have you guys been up to?" asked Fiona, rubbing her head.

"Up to?" Klaus asked in alarm. "Nothing. No, not nothing. We've been doing research, of nothing besides that. Absolutely nothing."

"Duncan, Violet, what have you been doing?" Isadora laughed nervously as the two people in question joined the group.

"Not much," Duncan said quickly.

"Just wandering around," Violet added.

"Fishy," said Sunny.

"Very fishy," Quigley agreed, his mouth full of chowder.

"Indeed," Fiona said, before catching herself. "I mean, 'aye.'"

"You children are all acting very odd," Phil said.

"No we're not!" Violet, Fiona, Duncan, Klaus, Isadora, and Quigley yelled together.

"Fishy," Sunny said again.

And that's that chapter done. I apologize for any mistakes due to autocorrect, but I need to get some sleep now. I hope you enjoyed this, good night!