A/N: Hi all - just wanted to say thanks for reading! Your reviews & faves make my day. :) It felt like it took forever to get this chapter right, so I hope you enjoy!

Chapter Four

We walked across the lawn toward the woods, waving at the pack member who was currently on lookout duty. Dad wasn't going to be able to keep up this level of security much longer. Everyone had lives to get back to, and so far there hadn't been any sign of fae around the house except for Zee, Tad, and Uncle Mike.

I wasn't sure if I found the lack of enemies at our doorstep more reassuring or nerve-wracking. Whoever we were up against, I was pretty sure they were old enough and smart enough to wait until Dad relaxed his guard to make their move. And there was nothing any of us could really do about that. We just had to sit and wait.

I hated this kind of waiting. But I was familiar enough with it that I knew the best thing to do was just stay busy. Like right now, for instance. I was going on a walk with Tad. Which...was not a thing we had ever done before.

It was good that were moving and had a whole landscape to look at, because I think if we'd still been standing and facing each other I would've started feeling jittery. I had all these confusing feelings now when I looked at Tad, which had not been the goal of the whole haircut experience. I was particularly annoyed by the lingering urge to run my hands through his hair. I mean, there was just no way to pull that off as a casual gesture. Especially not while we were both standing. I'd have to deliberately reach up, probably on my tip-toes, and-

OMFG. Jesse. Get a grip.

Tad cleared his throat. "So how's school?"

"Um," I said, trying to get my head back in order. "You mean besides the general pain and angst of America's shared adolescent experience?"

"Besides that," he agreed.

"It's a little weird, actually. Everyone's suddenly a big fan of me now."

"Really?" Tad sounded surprised. Not in an insulting way, but in a way that pretty much mirrored how I felt.

Tad knew about all the drama that had gone down at my school after the werewolves had come out. Moreover, Tad himself had been forced to reveal he was half-fae while he was in high school. So he knew exactly how unpleasant things could be when all your classmates knew you were connected to the supernatural.

"Yeah," I said. "Apparently, all the pack needed was an action-movie style takedown, because they're total heroes now. And I'm their fan club secretary."

Tad cracked a smile at that one. "Oh, really? Do you take notes at the meetings?" he teased.

"You bet. Every day at my lunch table."

We stepped into the woods then, leaving the nicely manicured lawn behind. It was pleasantly cool and shady, and after only a few steps, I could no longer feel the eyes of the wolf on guard duty watching us. Thanks, trees!

Somehow, the privacy of the woods made me feel more at ease, and I ended up telling Tad about all the ridiculous things my classmates had been saying over the last few days. He was amused, especially when I got to the "can the fire-wolf be our mascot?" comment. If it was anyone but Tad, I would have been annoyed that he was laughing. But I knew he was only laughing because of how absurd it was.

"Wow," he said when I was finished. "Even with the fae and the wolves out in the open, it still feels like most people are living in a completely different reality."

"They are," I agreed. "I was trying to explain this to Izzy earlier. How even though they know, it's still not real for them. Not the way is for us."

"Yeah. No kidding," Tad muttered.

My heart gave a weird little thump-thump as I realized I'd used the word us and Tad had agreed. I folded my arms across my chest, as though this would somehow help me pull myself together.

"So. How are you doing?" I asked.

Tad shrugged. "Oh, you know. Hunted by my enemies. Nearly set on fire by my friends. It's an exciting life of intrigue all around."

"Kid Grop - I mean, Aiden tried to set you on fire?"

"Well, not on purpose. I've been sleeping outside his door."

"Oh." For some reason, the image of Tad sleeping protectively in front of Aiden's door made my heart do the weird thump-thump again. And I didn't even like Aiden.

Aughhh. GTFO, hormones!

I was saved from further hormonal stupidity by a gigantic fallen log blocking our path. The log was long enough that it would've been a pain in the ass to walk around, and tall enough that we couldn't just step over it. Tad climbed on top of the log first and held out his hand to me.

I probably should've just taken Tad's hand like a normal person. Instead, I impulsively took a running start, put two hands on the log, and swung myself over it like I was hopping a super wide, woody fence. I stumbled a little bit on the landing and totally scratched my hands up in the process, but it was worth it to be able to turn around and look back up at Tad in triumph. "Ta-da!" I said, posing with both my hands in the air.

Tad shook his head. "Show-off," he said, jumping down.

"Hey, three whole years of gymnastics have to count for something." Never mind that that definitely hadn't been a gymnastics move.

"I didn't know you did gymnastics."

"Oh, yeah. I was a real pro from the time I was six until I was nine."

"I can imagine," Tad said, as we resumed walking.

"You cannot," I informed him. "My prowess at falling off the uneven bars was too great to be believed."

Tad laughed, which of course had been my goal. "I can't imagine why you quit."

"Well, Dad almost had a heart attack the first time he saw me fall during a competition. I decided to take it easy on him after that."

"Uh-huh," Tad said, clearly comprehending my general lack of talent at gymnastics.

"Also, that was -" I started to say, and then cut myself off, shrugging. "Well. That was a weird time."

Tad looked over at me. "How so?" he said. It wasn't like him to ask. Or at least - it wasn't like him to ask me.

I folded my arms across my chest again. I was prepared to dismiss the whole thing, but instead I found myself saying, "It was around the time my parents were splitting up. Things got...complicated."

"Oh. That's right," he said quietly. "I guess I'd have lost interest in falling off gymnastics equipment with all that going on, too."

"Har," I said, rolling my eyes. Tad had a good idea of what had gone on with my parents' divorce. He also knew I didn't really like to talk about it, so he'd given me an easy out. Which I was glad to take.

Because seriously - we had way more important things to discuss.

"So," I said, clearing my throat. "What went down yesterday?"

"Right." Tad went silent for a minute, sorting out his thoughts. His voice was all somber again when he said, "My dad ran into the daughter of one of his old enemies. The Dragon Under the Hill is dead."

"Wait. Are we talking, like, an actual dragon?"

"No."

"Okay. But the Dragon was definitely an enemy?"

"Yeah."

"You don't exactly sound happy about that."

"I'm not." Tad pushed an overgrown branch aside and motioned for me to go past. I turned sideways to scoot between him and the tree trunk, managing not to brush against him as I went. Somehow, this only made me more aware of his proximity.

"The enmities of the old fae are complicated," he said, letting the branch swing back into place. "My dad wasn't the Dragon's enemy because they wanted to smite each other off the face of the earth. Well - most of the time."

A whole tale spilled out then: The Dragon Under the Hill vs. the Dark Smith of Drontheim - a contest of wills and magic that had gone on for centuries, creating a whole worthy-foe complex between them. This was helped along by an old-school code of honor they both seemed to follow, even as they tried to thwart one another. It sounded a bit like a Holmes and Moriarty relationship to me, with a slight flavor of Magneto and Professor X.

Zee was definitely more of a Magneto character, given his affinity for metal and all the villainy he'd perpetrated back in the day. Which meant the Dragon Under the Hill was more of a Professor X.

I could understand why Tad was upset about a Professor X character dying. And that was before Tad even got to the part about how the Dragon's demise had gone down.

"They forgot what the Dragon Under the Hill was," Tad said, a current of anger in his voice. "They trapped him and his daughter underground for decades. No food, no water, no light. Somehow Margaret - his daughter – made it out. But the Dragon didn't."

"Why would they do that?" I said. "Why would anyone do that? I mean, if they wanted him dead, why wouldn't they just—you know-"

"I don't know," Tad said darkly. "I think the Dragon was too powerful to fight head-on. He started to go cruel, toward the end, the way a lot of the very old fae do. He needed to be contained. But there was no reason to do what they did. And to do that to his daughter, too-" Tad cut himself off, with a violent shake of his head. "Dad's furious. Not just because it was a terrible thing to do, but because of the dishonor of it. The Dragon deserved better than that."

"Better than fish eggs," I murmured. It came out before I could stop myself. But Tad just let out a bark of laughter without much humor in it.

"Yeah," he agreed. "I mean - anyone would have deserved better than that. But the thing Dad won't say is that they would've done the same thing to him if they'd gotten the chance. They almost did get the chance."

I looked over at Tad and recognized the expression on his face. It was the same look my dad got when he couldn't protect someone. Tad wasn't just mad at the Gray Lords, I realized. He was mad at himself.

"What happened?" I asked quietly. I half expected him not to answer.

But after a moment, he burst out: "They wanted me, you know? They wanted to see what I could do. But Dad convinced them I was a fragile human - that if they pushed me too far, I'd break. So they tried breaking Dad instead. And Dad made me promise not to show them anything, no matter what they did. He said he had a plan. So I just sat there and watched them torture him. For weeks."

"Tad," I said quietly, because I didn't know what else to say.

"I shouldn't have done it," he said flatly. "Dad was getting weaker every day, I could see it. But he convinced me he'd be fine. Like an idiot, I believed him. If I had known about the Dragon Under the Hill, I would've -"

He stopped walking abruptly and turned to me. His face looked young for once - frantic and full of guilt. "What if he'd died, Jesse? What if the old man didn't make it because I was too stupid to put a stop to it? He didn't have a plan – he just had a vague promise from someone who could've screwed us over if he'd changed his mind. What the hell kind of idiotic son lets his dad-"

"Tad," I said again. I was about to reach for his hand, but before I could he turned away again, veering off the path.

We were near the overlook now - a rock-studded outcropping that gave a distant view of the river. Tad walked toward the cliff edge and then sat down heavily on a boulder, letting his head fall into his hands. I followed, and sat down next to him. "You trusted your dad," I said quietly. "That's it. There's nothing idiotic about it."

Tad dragged his fingers through his hair. "What if he'd ended up like Dragon Under the Hill?"

"He didn't."

"But he could have."

"But he didn't."

Tad looked up at me. One thing I've learned as an Alpha's daughter is that if you confront someone with enough conviction, you can usually get them to listen to you. So I looked Tad straight in the eye and said, "You couldn't have known about the Dragon. You couldn't have known your dad didn't have a real plan. All you did was keep a promise. It was the best you could do."

Tad shook his head, looking away from me again, so I grabbed his sleeve. "Hey," I said. "You did the best you could do."

Tad looked like he wanted to believe me, but also like he didn't think he could.

Boy, did I know that feeling. I called it the guilt monster.

After I was kidnapped (and rescued, obviously), the guilt monster reared its head on a regular basis. It kept me awake at night, replaying the whole being-abducted-by-a-stranger moment over and over again. I kept trying to figure out what I could've done differently - where I could've hidden or what I could've done so the kidnappers wouldn't have gotten to me.

But eventually I convinced myself that even if there was something I could've done, it was pointless to keep rehashing it. Because no matter how many alternate scenarios I came up with, I couldn't act on any of them. The guilt monster was just making me fixate on phantom lives - alternate realities that didn't and couldn't exist. Unless somebody invented time travel or something.

Tad was beating himself up over nothing. And I couldn't just sit there and let him.

I let go of his sleeve and put my hand on his back. "Listen," I said quietly. "What you did was a lot harder than giving in. I don't think I could've watched someone I love being tortured for that long. Not if I knew there was something I could do about it. Not even if I'd made a promise to my dad." I reached up to tug on one of his shortened locks of hair. "I think maybe you're the one who should have the Gryffindor spirit hair."

That got to him, finally; he let out a short burst of laughter. "Maybe you're right," he said, looking out over the landscape.

"Of course I am." I dropped my head onto his shoulder and put my arm around him, giving him a friendly squeeze. Tad rested his head on mine in kind, letting out a deep breath. I hoped that meant he was letting out all the guilt, too. I rubbed my hand up and down his back gently a couple of times. Then it was time for me to sit up and pull away.

Only I didn't.

We just sat like that for a minute, me with my hand on his back and Tad with his head resting on mine. I gazed out over the cliff's edge, watching the silvery glint of the river as it wound through the lush green landscape. I kept waiting for Tad to move - to lift his head and draw away, re-establishing the normal bounds of friendship.

But he didn't.

Instead, he leaned into me. I could feel the tension draining out of him as I traced my hand up and down his back. After a minute, his arm went around my waist and I turned into him, my cheek pressing against his chest. My awareness of the woods and the winding river fell away, and then it was just me and Tad: his arm tight around me, my head tucked underneath his chin, his hand burying itself in my hair.

"Jesse..." he said, and there was something raw in his voice that made tingles erupt all over my skin.

He pulled away, but he didn't let go. He still had his hand against the side of my face, his thumb gently stroking my cheek. It's just Tad, I tried to tell myself, but my body wasn't listening. I felt like I was vibrating from head to toe. Like if he didn't kiss me soon, I might combust.

Only he didn't kiss me. He just looked at me like he was trying to memorize me. And then I realized - maybe he was. "You're going after them, aren't you?" I said quietly. It wasn't really a question.

"Yes."

"When?"

Something shuttered closed in Tad's eyes, and now he did pull away. "I'm sorry," he said. "I didn't mean to dump all this on you. I shouldn't have..."

"Don't," I said. "Don't you dare."

Tad drew his hands away from me, and shook his head like he was trying to clear it.

It was funny how quickly all my fluttery feelings turned to anger. "You don't need to protect me, Tad. I'm not a kid."

Tad rubbed his hands over his face, letting out a quiet groan. "Believe me, Jesse. I do not think of you as a kid."

"Good," I said, ignoring my stupid heart going all thwomp-thwomp-thwomp. "Then you can tell me the truth. I don't need to know where you're going, or what you're going to do. I just want you to tell me when. Can you at least do that? Come say good-bye before you leave? It's bad enough with my dad and Mercy running off at all hours, but if you and Zee are going too-"

"All right," he said quietly. "I promise."

"Good," I said again. And then, because I couldn't take it anymore, I stood up and marched back through the woods.

Tad followed. But he didn't reach for me, or try to stop me from going on ahead - which was as good a sign as any that whatever was going on between us wasn't something he was willing to pursue.

This time when I reached the fallen log, I didn't do anything stupid or show-offy. I climbed up without so much as a glance at Tad, and jumped down without any help at all, thank you very much. But my frustration got the better of me, because I let out an angry growl as I landed. It's funny how living with wolves turns all your angry noises into growls.

"Jesse," Tad said, as he jumped down from the log. He had to jog to catch up to me, and grabbed my arm.

"I'm fine," I lied, pulling my arm away.

"Jesse-"

"This is not about you, all right?" I said, wheeling on him. "Everyone has something to do except for me. Everyone has someone to go off and fight. And I just have to sit around waiting, hoping somebody will actually tell me what's going on. And then even if I do know what's going on, there never seems to be anything I can actually do that makes any difference -"

"That's not true," Tad said.

"Yeah, right."

"I mean it. Jesse, you have no idea what it's meant to me the last few days, just being able to hang out with you. My dad's hurt, Aiden's a mess, your dad and Mercy have a whole host of fae breathing down their necks because of us, but you... All this is going on, and you still got up and cooked breakfast for everyone. You gave me a haircut. You-"

"Are only capable of accomplishing stupid domestic tasks while everyone else does things that matter?"

"No," Tad said, grabbing me by the shoulders. "Jesse, listen to me. The fact that you are capable of functioning normally while all of this is going on around you...it's like you're the anchor. You're the only steady thing in the middle of all the chaos. And it's not just me - I think it's true for your dad and Mercy, too. None of us want any of this shit to happen. I don't want to have to go off and seek vengeance with my dad. Your dad doesn't want a fight with the fae. What we really want is just..."

"Waffles?" I suggested.

Tad laughed helplessly, and his hands moved up to take hold of my face. "See, that's what I mean. You...you're just..."

"Me," I said quietly. I thought I finally understood what he'd been getting at yesterday. But I couldn't look at him with my cheeks burning like that, so I started at the ground instead.

Tad moved closer to me. "Jesse..." he said quietly, and his forehead gently came to rest against mine.

Something really interesting might have happened then, but there was a sudden loud hammering sound, and we both jumped, jerking apart.

It took us about two seconds to realize it was just a woodpecker. But the spell was broken. I turned and started off along the path again. Tad fell into step beside me, and neither of us said anything until we were almost out of the woods.

"It's meant a lot to me to see you, too," I said quietly, and then I hurried out of the trees and across the lawn, where Tad knew better than to say anything because one of the wolves would certainly overhear.

"What. What. What," Izzy said. "How did it take you this long to tell me? How did you not immediately call me? Also: What did I tell you? I totally told you! He's totally into you. He totally needed someone to confide in. And-"

"You're totally annoying when you gloat. You know that, right?"

"Blah, blah," Izzy said, unaffected. "You - - uh-uh. Nope. Not today. Sorry!" Izzy held up a hand to ward off a random Junior who'd approached our table. "We only take messages for the pack on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Come back tomorrow."

I raised an eyebrow as the bewildered Junior wandered off. "Since when do we have a system for werewolf messages?"

"Since we're in the middle of an extremely important discussion and I am tired of being interrupted."

"I would hardly call this an extremely important-"

"I still can't believe you gave him a haircut," Izzy said, looking at me with a mixture of admiration and disbelief.

"I can't, either," I admitted, biting off the end of a French fry.

I hadn't really meant to tell Izzy any of this. Not yet. But I'd been so distracted in class all morning, replaying yesterday over and over in my head, and of course Izzy picked up on it. Then once I started talking, I couldn't stop.

I didn't tell her everything. Some of it was just between me and Tad. But I told her the gist of it: the haircut, the flirting, the walk in the woods, the interrupted-by-a-woodpecker moment. It felt good to get it all out.

We hashed and re-hashed until I was sure I wasn't imagining things or reading too much into it. Then Izzy said, "Question. Does Tad wear a glamour?"

"I don't know. No? Why would he need a glamour?"

"All the rest of the fae wear glamours, don't they?"

"Well...yeah. But Tad's not exactly fae. He's still half-human."

"True," Izzy agreed. "But I was just thinking: if the half that isn't human can create giant metal spears out of practically nothing, does that mean he has other fae powers, too?"

"I don't know. I guess it's never come up," I said.

"Hmm," Izzy said. "Well, let's suppose Tad does have a glamour. What does that mean in terms of him actually needing a haircut?"

I opened my mouth to respond, and then closed it again. This had not occurred to me before. "I don't know," I said finally. "I guess he wouldn't, if his appearance is an illusion. But I'm not sure that's all glamours are. I mean...Zee wears a glamour, for sure. And as far as I can tell, it's less of an illusion and more of a shape-shifting kind of thing. It might not be his original appearance, but that doesn't mean it's not how he really is now."

"Okay, so...a little bit less like a hologram and a little bit more like Tonks and her Metamorphmagus-ing?" Izzy said, referencing one of our mutual favorite Harry Potter characters, who could change her appearance at will.

"Something like that," I agreed.

Izzy popped a tater tot into her mouth and chewed on it thoughtfully. "Well, either way - you are the only person in the world who could make something as mundane as a haircut seem sexy."

I rolled my eyes.

For once, nothing major went on at the house that afternoon. Security was much lighter when Ben dropped me off after school, which was no surprise. Since there weren't many pack members hanging around and Zee was gone, Tad spent pretty much the whole evening hanging out in the basement with Aiden. As I helped throw dinner together, I overheard Tad walking Aiden through the various uses of a smart phone, and couldn't help feeling a certain vindictive pleasure at Aiden's obvious frustration over it.

Kid Groper wisely elected to stay in the basement during dinner, which meant Tad stayed with him. So me, my dad, and Mercy got to sit down for a family meal together for the first time in days. It was kind of nice, just having the three of us together, although admittedly I was a little distracted by my desire to keep eavesdropping on Tad. But I managed to keep a good conversation up, anyway. Distraction via rambling is one of my special talents.

Izzy texted me while I was doing my homework, wanting to know how Tad was and whether I'd managed to engage in any more scandalous grooming sessions today.

Nope, I told her. KG taking all his attention.

Rude, Izzy wrote back.

Don't worry. There's always time for sexy toenail clipping later.

Izzy sent back a grossed-out emoji.

Me: Or maybe I could trim his nose hairs.

Izzy: OMG stop being a weirdo and just jump him already

Me: Too noisy. The wolves would overhear

Izzy: Tad's magic. Make him soundproof ur room

Me: idk if it works like that

Izzy: sure it does. MAGIC!

Me: I have to study now

Izzy: Anatomy?

Me: Govt

Izzy: Maybe Tad can help. you can show him all your checks and balances

Me: he's not ready for all the gold i've got in my treasury

Izzy: LOLOL

I was really glad I lived in the age of texting. I could only imagine the look on my dad's face if he'd overheard me and Izzy having that kind of conversation.

I turned my phone on silent and stuck it in a drawer so it wouldn't distract me. My government homework unfortunately involved some questions on checks and balances, which did not help me focus. But by the time I made my way through all my other work, it was pretty much time for bed, and I'd pretty much stopped thinking about how I hadn't seen or spoken to Tad all day.

It seemed silly not to at least say hi to him. I mean - he was right there in the basement. Along with Kid Groper.

I didn't want to let Aiden's presence dictate my actions when it came to Tad. But Aiden wasn't the only obstacle. I didn't want to just say hi to Tad. I wanted to figure out exactly what was going on between us. And I didn't think I could do that with both Mercy and my dad around.

It was too late at night for us to go for a walk in the woods - and if Tad was tutoring Aiden in the ways of smartphones, there was no point trying to send him a private message via text.

Blah.

Oh, well. Might as well just go to bed. There was always tomorrow, right?

I woke up in the middle of the night to the smell of smoke and the sound of alarms going off. Again.

My dad had just finished getting the smoke alarms rewired, so they made a dull buzzing noise now instead of a shrieking beep. At first, I thought the buzzing was what had woken me up. Then I realized someone was touching my shoulder, gently shaking me awake.

"Jesse."

It was Tad. I knew it by his voice but also by the way my skin felt when he touched me - like I suddenly had more nerve endings there than in any other part of my body.

"Hey. Jesse," he whispered.

"Mmph?" I said. I'd definitely meant to say something more elegant.

"Wake up."

"I'm 'wake," I mumbled, rubbing my eyes. "What's up?"

"I have to go," he said quietly.

That got my attention. "What - now?" I pushed myself up, and Tad sat back on his heels.

"Yeah. I thought now would be the best time to...you know, while everyone's distracted with Aiden."

"Right," I said. For no apparent reason, I suddenly became aware of the possibility of morning breath.

Tad cleared his throat. "Dad's going to stick around a few more days. But I'm not sure when I'll be back. So I...well. Here. I made you this thing."

I held out my hand, and he dropped something small and unexpectedly heavy into it. It was metal - cool and smooth. I held it up against the moonlight and saw that it was a little statuette of a lobster. With a miniature bow on its head. I clamped my hand over my mouth to hold in my laughter.

"Do you like it?" Tad said, though clearly he could see that I was trying not to lose it. There was enough moonlight in the room for me to catch the impish grin on his face.

"Wow," I said, once I managed to pull myself together. "You know, I've never seen anyone render a statue of their foe so lovingly."

"Dread Pirate Blutig is a complicated man."

I looked down at the little statue, and something warm pooled in my stomach - just before it began to tie itself in knots. "I love it," I said quietly.

"Good."

I curled my hand around the statue and looked up at him again. "Please be careful."

Tad nodded, swallowing visibly. "I'll be back, Jesse. If for no other reason than to face off against Dread Lobster Bessie."

My shoulders shook in another silent laugh, but a part of me suddenly wanted to cry. Everyone was always going off to fight. And the only thing I could ever do was worry about them.

Some of this must have shown on my face, because suddenly Tad rose onto his knees, took my face in his hands, and planted a hard kiss on my forehead. "I'll come back to you, Jesse," he said, and I nodded dumbly, feeling suddenly warm and shaky in all my limbs. My brain was still trying to work out what had just happened when Tad kissed me on the forehead again, got up, and left.

I just sat there for a minute after he'd gone, clutching Dread Lobster Bessie in my hand and playing it over in my head again, wondering what I would have done if I hadn't been afraid of morning breath.