Chapter Five

Attraction's a funny thing.

It's like...one day I was going along and everything was fine, and the next day I woke up and realized I couldn't even look at a pair of scissors without thinking about a Certain Person. Which was a problem, because thinking about a Certain Person kind of made me feel like I was riding the spinning teacups at Disneyland even when I was standing completely still. And that was ridiculous, because come on - why should someone who was not even present be allowed to have that much of an effect on my innards?

I wasn't in denial or anything. But I was a little bewildered by how quickly all of this had come on. I mean - I'd known Tad for nine years. And now I suddenly didn't want to go anywhere without a mutant lobster figurine in my pocket.

"He made you this?" Izzy said, when I showed it to her at lunch.

"Mm-hmm," I said, taking a bite of my sandwich.

"Whoa." Izzy turned Dread Lobster Bessie over in her hands, marveling at the detail. "What is Tad studying at school again?"

"Um...science? Econ? Something useful."

"Well, it should be art. Or alchemy, or...something."

"I'm pretty sure Tad can't turn things into gold."

"You know what I mean. If I could make something like this just by wiggling my fingers at a piece of metal, I wouldn't waste my time doing Calculus."

"I'm pretty sure the whole point of college is so Tad can get something he can't conjure up with magic."

"Blah," Izzy said. "All he gets out of that is a fancy piece of paper. I say it's a waste if he doesn't share this with the world."

She handed back Dread Lobster Bessie. I tucked the figurine inside my hoodie pocket, zipping it up tight. I had already decided I wasn't going to tell Tad I was carrying it around with me everywhere. I'd feel way too silly admitting that having Bessie close made me feel connected to him somehow - and also inexplicably convinced that he would be okay.

"One thing at a time," I said. "First we have to survive whatever it is we're up against."

"Those dastardly villains better get a move on," Izzy said. "The suspense is killing me."

"No kidding," I muttered.

I'd finally managed to fill Izzy in on my dad and Mercy's clandestine meeting with the fae, as well as everything Tad had shared about the Dragon Under the Hill. Based on available facts, we'd determined that there were definitely multiple factions within the fae working against one another. For instance, at least one of the Gray Lords had helped torture Zee - but another Gray Lord had helped him and Tad escape. So even the people who were supposedly in charge weren't on the same page here. Which made it difficult to determine who we should be on the lookout for.

Especially considering I didn't know who most of the fae were or what they looked like.

"Okay. So what are the odds that the fae who sent your mom a threatening note are the same fae Tad is chasing after?" Izzy said.

"Reasonably high," I decided. "If they're not exactly the same people, then they're at least allies."

"What are the odds Tad will find them and vanquish them before they go after your dad again?"

"Um, I don't think Tad's going to vanquish anybody. I mean - they're not demons."

"What do demons have to do with anything?"

"Don't you vanquish demons?"

"I think you mostly exorcise them," Izzy said.

"Well that, too. But vanquish isn't like a normal verb. It sounds extreme. Like you're making them vanish off the face of the earth or something."

"Well, Tad's an extreme man. Didn't you see him on that bridge? Those big long javelins?" Izzy said, wiggling her eyebrows at me. I rolled my eyes, trying not to think about his - um - javelin. Izzy whipped out her phone. "According to Google, vanquish means to defeat thoroughly. Conquer, defeat, trounce, rout -"

"Okay," I said. "So maybe Tad is out to vanquish his enemies."

"I'll be sure to tell him how confident you are in his abilities."

"I didn't say -" I began, but I didn't get a chance to finish, because just then the random Junior guy from yesterday appeared at the end of our table.

"Uh - hey, Jesse," he said.

"Hi," I said back.

"Not now!" Izzy said, holding up her hand to ward him off.

"It's Thursday," he pointed out. "You said I could come back on Thursday."

"Augh," Izzy said, looking pained. "Fine. But make it quick."

The guy shifted his attention to me and cleared his throat, looking nervous. "I'm Carter. I, uh, don't actually have a message for the werewolves."

Izzy threw up her hands, and I gave her a Look. Izzy made a face, but she stayed quiet.

"What can I do for you, Carter?" I said, feeling weirdly like my own secretary. Since apparently I wasn't currently acting as my dad's secretary.

"I was wondering if you wanna goo - I mean, if you'd want to go - uh - if you'd wanna-go-out-sometime," Carter said. He shoved his hands into his pockets, looking even more nervous.

I blinked. This was so far from what I'd been expecting that I was struggling to come up with a response other than, "Oh."

I didn't remember ever talking to Carter before. I mean - I was really only sure he was a Junior because he had a yellow lanyard around his neck. We all wore different colors based on our grades; Izzy and I both had green lanyards somewhere, if we ever bothered to wear them.

So I was approximately 30% confused, 10% flattered, and 60% annoyed that Carter was asking me out, given that we'd never even had a real conversation.

"Um...thanks," I said. I'd never really been in a position to turn someone down before, so I wasn't exactly sure how to go about this. I didn't want to be rude to Carter, since I thought it was pretty gutsy of him to come by our table and ask me out when he didn't even know me. But I wasn't going to say yes, either, because...come on, who asks somebody out they've never spoken to before?

So I said, "That's, um, really nice of you, Carter. But...uh...there is just a lot going on with the pack right now. It's a really busy time for me, and I'm not sure I really have time to-"

"She's seeing someone," Izzy interjected. I gave Izzy an outraged look, which she completely ignored.

"Oh!" Carter said. "Wow. I mean - not wow like I'm surprised, just wow that - um - it's not someone at school, is it? Because I feel like if it was someone at school, I would've heard, and then I wouldn't have come over and asked you..."

"No," I said. "It's not someone at school. Actually, it's not any-"

"It's kind of a secret," Izzy said, dropping her voice to a whisper. "He's in college."

Carter did not do a great job of disguising his surprise. "Oh! That's, uh, cool. Is it, um..." Carter trailed off. His ears turned bright red, which I didn't understand until he blurted out, "Is it one of the wolves?"

"No," I said, trying and failing to prevent my own cheeks from turning red. "I am not dating a werewolf."

"Oh. Okay. Well, that was all I wanted to...I'll just go now," Carter said. He gave an awkward little wave and walked away.

"Bye," I said. My cheeks felt like they were on fire. Izzy looked like she was barely containing laughter. I threw a tater tot at her. "Izzy, what is the matter with you? That was not funny! And also - not true!"

"I'm sorry! I just - oh come on, that was a little funny."

"No, it wasn't! And you shouldn't have said that. I am not dating...you-know-who."

"Voldemort?"

I threw another tater tot at her. "You know what I mean."

"Fine," Izzy said, sobering up a little. "But are you trying to tell me that clandestine midnight gift-giving sessions fall within the bounds of normal friendship? Because if so, I call shenanigans."

"That is beside the point."

"That is exactly the point. Ever since the bridge incident, you've had - you know - admirers. But Tad is the only one of your admirers who isn't full of it. I mean - where have all these other guys been for the last three years? And after the way this school has treated you, I don't think you shouldn't be letting anybody down easy. You should be telling them, I am hot and you missed out, bitches!"

I glanced around, even though I was pretty sure nobody was listening to us. "Okay, first of all, I don't know what's going on with Tad. Second, even if anything actually was going on, I wouldn't be spreading it around school. Because what if it gets back to the pack that I am 'sort of seeing someone'? My dad will find out, and then Mercy will find out, and then they'll ask me point-blank what's going on, and I won't be able to lie to them because they're both super-human lie detectors - and what am I supposed to tell them, exactly? That Tad gave me a lobster?"

Izzy had the decency to look a bit guilty.

"On top of that," I went on, "Tad is kind of, you know, living in my house. So what am I supposed to say if it gets back to him that I've been telling everyone at school I'm dating a guy in college?"

Izzy's own cheeks went a bit red, which gave me a certain vindictive satisfaction. Izzy might not have much of a temper, but I do. "I'm sorrrrryyyy," she said. "I didn't think that far ahead. Although...if it makes you feel any better, I don't think this will start a major rumor. It's not like Carter's going to spread it around school that you turned him down. Seems unlikely this would get back to your bodyguards."

I raised an eyebrow and quoted Hamilton at her. "'Alexander, rumors only grow.'"

Izzy grimaced, and then the bell rang.

"Okay, I do have one small query for you," Izzy said, as we gathered up our stuff.

"'What comes next?'" I said, quoting again.

"Well - that, too. But I was thinking more about the fae. Why are they so obsessed with Tad's magic? Or Aiden's, for that matter?"

I was about to say that I had no idea when it occurred to me that Tad and Aiden had something in common. "Tad's part human," I said slowly, as I dumped my lunch tray. "And Aiden started out as human. But they both have really powerful magic. Which makes them different from any of the rest of the fae."

"What about all the other part-humans? Don't they have magic?" Izzy said.

I shook my head. "Not like Tad. Most of the half-fae don't inherit much magic, and the ones that do usually end up...well, let's just say cray-cray would be a polite term for how they turn out."

"Yikes," Izzy said, as we joined the crush of students exiting the cafeteria. I waited until we were out of the bottleneck before I went on.

"And Kid Groper...okay. The fae came into our world in the first place because Underhill kicked them out, right?" I said.

"Right," Izzy said, even though she only knew this because I'd told her so.

"Except Underhill didn't kick Aiden out. It kept him for a couple thousand years and gave him fire powers instead."

"So...you think the fae are jealous of him?" Izzy said.

"Maybe. The fae seem pretty jealous in general. I mean - we know that Tad's the only half-fae with any kind of decent magic, and KG's the only human to survive Underhill, and the fae want both of them. I think...I think maybe the fae want to know what makes Tad and Kid Groper so special. And they're willing to do a lot to find out."

We reached our lockers. Izzy's was broken; all she had to do was kick the bottom corner twice and it popped open. "So this is kind of a weird question," she said. "But what do you think makes Kid Groper so special?"

I made a face. I still got a grossed-out sort of feeling when I thought of Kid Groper. But it probably wasn't productive to say that the only 'special' thing I'd noticed about him was his willingness to sexually harass people.

So I spun the lock and pulled my locker open before saying, "I honestly have no idea. Underhill gave Aiden powers and let him live there even when all the true fae had been kicked out. I guess that alone would be enough to make the fae jealous. But as for what Underhill saw in him that made it - or her, or whatever - want to keep Aiden alive...beats me."

Izzy finished gathering up her books and slammed her locker shut. If she didn't slam it extra-hard, it bounced right back open again. "Well...just keep me posted and let me know if you think of anything. Also, if any rumors make it back to your dad, I'll call and say I made the whole thing up."

"You did make the whole thing up."

Izzy just raised a skeptical eyebrow at me and headed off to Physics.

The evening that followed was, to put it mildly, not my favorite evening ever.

The house was emptier than usual. My dad and Mercy were both off dealing with business (pack or otherwise), Zee was MIA, Tad was off on a secret mission, and Joel and his wife were having a quiet evening to themselves. Which left me alone with Ben and Paul, our resident guard-wolves for the evening, and the one and only Kid Groper.

Stupendous.

My first thought was to lock myself in my room on the pretense of homework. Except that I'd stupidly told Paul on the ride home from school that I didn't really have homework to speak of. Which is how I ended up at the world's most awkward dinner table, involving spaghetti, meatballs, supernatural creatures, and...me.

Ben did most of the talking. Partly this was because he's good at talking (especially if it involves swear words), but mostly it was because the rest of us didn't have much to say to each other. I, for one, was doing my best to ignore Aiden's presence. Paul (for completely different but equally valid reasons) didn't like Aiden, either, so he was avoiding direct conversation with Aiden also.

Which might have worked out okay, except that Aiden did not appreciate being ignored. I wasn't sure if it was because he wasn't used to being ignored, or the opposite. Based on what I knew of his backstory, I suspected it was the latter. This might have stirred up sympathy in me if I didn't still get pissed off every time I looked at him and his little gropey hands.

As it was, Ben was left with an agitated werewolf, an irritated pyromaniac, and a moody teenager all through dinner, which he attempted to deal with by telling a series of increasingly gory but somehow quite humorous Jack the Ripper stories. This was maybe a poor choice of subject matter, but it was good enough to distract Aiden, who had no idea who Jack the Ripper was and also no idea what London had looked like in the late 1800's.

I mostly listened to Ben's tales, but my thoughts kept wandering to other things. Such as wishing Aiden wasn't so afraid of being alone so he could've stayed in the basement all evening. Or that Joel hadn't decided to have alone time with his wife so he could've kept Aiden company. As Ben tried to explain the concept of a mechanical umbrella and how it might be used to fend off a murderous assailant, I couldn't help wondering about Izzy's question.

What did make Kid Groper so special to Underhill? He hadn't just survived Underhill; Underhill wanted him back. But what for? It occurred to me that maybe Underhill was lonely, but that seemed like a strange reason to want Aiden back. Setting my personal feelings about him aside - why pursue Kid Groper specifically, when he clearly didn't want to go back? Why not just let all the rest of the fae back in, since they clearly did want to go back?

The most obvious reason was that Underhill was sick of their BS. I didn't know a ton about the fae, but what I did know led me to believe that none of them valued Underhill as an entity. The fae were more powerful in Underhill, so they wanted to go back. I guess there was also a factor of considering Underhill their rightful home. But if Underhill was a thinking entity, then that was pretty arrogant. Underhill was more like an ex-lover they needed to woo back.

So they were trying to woo her back by capturing and returning Aiden.

The big picture was becoming clearer to me, but I was frustratingly still no closer to understanding the why behind the importance of Kid Groper. And it wasn't just Underhill - Tad, Zee, my dad, and Mercy all thought he was worth protecting, too. And not just because the pack had to save face after what Mercy declared on the bridge. My dad had seen something in Aiden that made him want to protect him like Aiden was one of our own.

I was done with my spaghetti, so I leaned back in my chair and casually stuck my hands in my pocket, curling my fingers around Dread Lobster Bessie. Maybe I'd ask Tad to explain more to me when he got back. I hadn't been super receptive to his initial description of Kid Groper's backstory, but there had to be something else there I was missing.

Either that, or Underhill was cuckoo bananas and Aiden had some sort of mind-mesmerizing magic he'd cast on everyone, but which only worked if he hadn't previously groped you.

Ha.

"Right," Ben said, pushing away his bowl. "I think this has been sufficiently awkward. Shall we go out star-gazing then?"

"Star-gazing?" Aiden and I echoed in unison. I glared at him, but he returned my glare with an expression that looked obnoxiously like satisfaction.

"Yeah. Star-gazing," Ben repeated, like we were morons. "It's an exceptionally clear night, and I think we'd all get on a lot better if we'd pull our heads out of our asses and focus on something a bit greater than ourselves."

Paul and I exchanged a glance. Sometimes, leaving Ben in charge of of soothing hot tempers was akin to throwing gasoline on a grease fire.

"All right," I said. "Let me just remove my head from my sphincter while I put on bug spray then."

Paul snorted in laughter. Aiden looked slightly alarmed, and as I went off to the hall closet for some insect repellent, I heard him ask, "What does she mean, spraying bugs?"

Ben was right. It was a very clear night. Nice and cool, too, so I felt very cozy in my hoodie and didn't look weird sticking my hands in my pockets and clutching Dread Lobster Bessie as we stretched out on the star-gazing rock.

The rock is at the far end of the back yard, not far from the river. It's so big you could probably fit seven or eight people across, and it's far enough from the edge of the woods that it provides and unobstructed view of the sky.

It's hard to stay mad when you're looking at the stars. I didn't even realize how much anger I'd been harboring until I was stretched out, staring at the depths of the universe, and felt it draining out of me. The sky was so vast it always made me feel small, but not in a bad way. It was more like the stars reminded me how small and fleeting my problems were when held up against infinity.

The stars got clearer and sharper and the house lights seemed dimmer the longer I looked, until it seemed as though the lights of the house weren't there anymore at all.

The night got quiet. Ben sat up. I knew better than to ask What? when a wolf was listening for something, so I sat up, too, and looked around. I realized that I hadn't just been imagining the lights of the house getting dimmer. The power had gone out.

And now Ben and Paul were both staring at the river.

You know how sometimes you're in a room and you think you see something move, so you glance over and realize it's just a shadow? And then a minute later you get the same sensation, and even though you know now it's just a shadow you have to look over again anyway? Only this time it's not a shadow. It's a GIANT SPIDER.

That's what happened by the river. I squinted into the dark and saw only the trees along the bank and what looked like an oddly shaped piece of driftwood in the current.

The next time I looked, there were four inhuman creatures rising up out of the water.

The worst part wasn't before, or during. It was after.

Mercy came in with the cavalry (aka Zee, followed by my dad), and as soon as the fae were vanquished, they looked at us and asked us to explain what happened.

Here's what I remember:

The dripping-wet fae, moving through the dark.

Ben, shouting at us to run and hide in the safe room.

The shock of the ground beneath my feet as I ran barefoot back to the house.

Aiden, locking the door behind us. Me, shouting at him not to be stupid, then running up the stairs instead of going to the basement.

Mercy's gun in my hands. The flood of relief when I got the ammunition loaded. The violent kickback in my hands as the sitting room window shattered and the bullets flew out into the night.

We were lucky it was so clear out. Lucky that Ben had suggested stargazing. Otherwise we never would have seen them coming. And without the full light of the stars and the moon, I never would have been able to see well enough to shoot at the creatures Ben and Paul were fighting.

I didn't shoot without thinking. I shot thinking, Don't hit Ben. Don't hit Paul. Don't let them in, over and over again in my head.

Don't hit Ben. Don't hit Paul. Don't let them in. DON'T HIT PAUL. DON'T HIT PAUL. DON'T HIT PAUL.

I didn't hit Paul. I hit the fae-girl who had been magically flinging boulders all over the yard.

I don't know why my mom decided to decorate the yard with giant rocks, but it was really backfiring on us now. The house shook as one of the boulders hit the house. Paul let out a sound that was part-yell, part-howl as another boulder slammed into his shoulder.

I shot, and Boulder Bitch went down.

Then there was another fae, climbing up the side of the house toward my window.

Don't let them in. DON'T LET THEM IN.

There were no good angles. But when the fae-dude's head appeared in the window, I shot him point-blank. He just snarled at me.

"Jesse, MOVE!"

I didn't move. Aiden made me. The window shattered completely as the fae dude burst into the room. I reeled back as Aiden put his hand out, and the fae-dude burst into blue flames. We didn't wait to see whether he perished. We ran out of the room and barricaded his smoldering ass in.

Then there was just chaos.

I could tell more of the pack had arrived, but I couldn't tell where they all were. I crouched down in the hallway, motioning for Aiden to follow my lead. Now that Ben and Paul had backup, the best thing for us to do was probably head to the safe room. Except that I had a gun, and Aiden had blue fire, and the last time somebody attacked our house, I got kidnapped. And there was NO FREAKING WAY I was letting these assholes get what they wanted.

I reloaded the gun.

The next thing I remembered was a giant blue insect-looking fae in our living room.

And then me, standing on the stairs and screaming at it that it couldn't have what it wanted.

And then Mercy, rushing in to impale Blue Bug Lady with her walking stick. Followed by Joel, in tibicena form, rushing in to finish the bug lady off.

I felt like I had seen this scene before. Only this wasn't on a bridge.

Then my dad was there, wrapping his arms around Mercy, and I was standing on the stairs, still staring down at Blue Bug Lady when they turned to us and asked what had happened.

As the need for adrenaline faded, my arms started to shake. I clutched the gun so it wouldn't show so much, and as I spoke I remembered that I'd killed someone.

Ben was proud of me, they said. I'd shot her right between the eyes.

I went out into the yard later to see for myself, and for once no one tried to stop me.

Despite my dad's best efforts to protect me, I'd seen dead bodies before. I even recognized the horrible smell.

But I'd never seen one that was my fault.

I turned and walked back into the house, slamming the door behind me. A windowpane shattered, and glass went skittering all over the floor.

My bedroom looked exactly the same as it had that morning. None of the windowpanes weren't broken. No angry fae had busted the walls in. But it still felt wrong.

It felt wrong in the same way it had felt wrong the first time I walked back into my bedroom after being kidnapped three years ago. The room was the same, but I was different.

I stared at my phone and thought about texting Izzy. After a dozen failed attempts, I turned my flashlight on, grabbed the baseball bat I kept hidden behind my bed, and went out to the shed, where I found a can of the largest nails we had. Along with the most intimidating-looking hammer.

It took me three tries to get the bat situated just right in the clamp, and another few tries to figure out how I was supposed to drive nails into the bat without breaking all of the fingers on my left hand. It was slow work. One of the wolves could have done it in minutes. But I didn't care. It felt good to pound and pound and pound. Like I was working the rest of the adrenaline out of my muscles (even though I knew it didn't really work that way).

My dad would never let me keep a gun in my room, but after tonight I needed something besides an ordinary baseball bat close at hand while I slept. This would do.

Aiden came and found me when I was halfway finished. I glanced at him and went right back to work. Aiden of all people would understand why I was doing what I was doing.

He just stood there and watched while I worked, and for once it didn't creep me out to have him there. He waited until I was done before saying, "Salt neutralizes magic. You should add a layer of salt to it, too."

"Thanks, pipsqueak," I said, and meant it.

He'd saved my life when that creepy wall-climber had burst into the house.

I couldn't hate him anymore.

I hid the salt-covered nail bat behind my bed before I let my dad into my room to say good night. I wasn't sure if he'd freak out or approve if he saw it. Mercy would probably understand, but I was pretty sure my dad would still freak out. I was supposed to have the pack to protect me, after all, not dangerously modified sports equipment.

I wondered if that would change after tonight. I was, after all, Jesse Hauptman: fae killer.

I shuddered involuntarily, and decided that if I couldn't joke about it yet in my own head, I probably wasn't prepared to have a discussion about homemade weapons with my dad. So I did my best to act like everything was okay when he came to tuck me in.

Although it's pretty hard to act like everything is normal when you're eighteen years old and your dad is coming to tuck you into bed.

"How are you doing?" he asked, sitting down on the edge of my mattress.

"Oh, you know. I'm basically a sniper assassin now. So that's cool." I tried to pass it off as a genuine joke, but my voice broke on the last couple words, and then there were tears streaming down my cheeks. My dad pulled me into a hug, and I cried into his shoulder.

I would never admit this to him, but I think the most magical thing about my dad is his ability to make anybody feel better. And I mean anybody. There aren't many Alphas like my dad. In fact, there's only one Alpha more powerful in the entire world. And he could even make his enemies feel like everything was going to be all right in the middle of a tsunami, if they'd let him.

As for me, his only daughter - it took about five seconds before my dad's magic took effect. I went from feeling amped up and terrified to completely drowsy and safe. After a few more tears, I was ready to crash.

My dad sat next to me, rubbing his hand in slow circles on my back until I feel asleep.

When I woke up, the lights were back on. At first, I thought the sudden glare of my bedside lamp was the reason I'd woken up in the middle of the night, but then I heard my door creak open.

I grabbed for my nail bat and sat up, brandishing it high over my shoulder, prepared to swing it in the direction of a very alarmed-looking Tad.

"Whoa!"

"Tad?" I lowered the bat, feeling more confused than anything. "What are you doing here?"

He gently shut the door behind him, and put a finger to his lips. I stayed quiet as he muttered something under his breath, making a few funny motions with his hands. As far as I could tell, nothing happened, but after a minute he said, "Okay. We're good."

"What was that?"

"That was me making sure nobody overhears us."

I very nearly laughed. Izzy was right again. "What are you doing here?" I repeated, leaning the nail bat against the wall. "I thought you were off on a secret mission."

"I was," he said. "Dad wanted to stay behind in case there was an attack on the house. Now that there's been one, he figures they won't try again anytime soon, so we're both going to off to...well. You know."

I nodded. He was still standing awkwardly by the door. "How long will you be gone?"

A familiar dark look clouded Tad's features. "Until it's done."

I nodded again, my gaze dropping to my lap. It seemed ridiculous that I should still be nervous around Tad after everything that had happened. Though maybe I wasn't really nervous. Maybe I just felt different.

"I just wanted to make sure you were okay," he said. "Not that I didn't believe my dad when he told me, I just...I wanted to see for myself. I mean, I wanted to...I wanted to see you."

I looked back up at him, realizing I wasn't the only nervous one here. And that seeing Tad in person gave me a much warmer, more pleasant sensation than the spinning-teacups feeling I'd had for most of the day.

"So are you?" he asked. "Okay?"

There was genuine concern in his expression, but there was also something that suggested he didn't want to keep standing there by the door. I didn't want him to, either.

But before I could formulate a response, his question sank into some deep part of me that knew everything was not okay and wouldn't be for a while. So when I opened my mouth to speak, I - without warning, and to my complete horror - burst into sudden and hysterical tears.