Chapter Eight

Waiting to find out whether people you love were going to live or not might have been the worst activity ever invented. It was definitely right up there with watching someone you love being tortured, or actually losing someone you love for good.

I couldn't dwell on the possibility that my dad, Mercy, and Aiden might not return. I was pretty sure that if I did, I'd go insane. So I had to focus on what was right in front of me. And at the moment, that meant Tad.

I still had my arms wrapped around him, my face pressed into his shoulder.

"We have to stop meeting like this," I said, my voice slightly muffled against his shirt.

Tad laughed softly, rubbing his hand up and down my back. "We haven't had great luck lately, it's true." I could feel the vibration of his voice rumbling through his chest. There was something so soothing about this that I just wanted to stay curled up against him for hours.

Only I couldn't, because I was already starting to get a crick in my neck. I sat up, shifting to a more comfortable position. I didn't pull away much, though, because I didn't really want there to be distance between us.

"I'm glad you're back," I said quietly. "It's bad enough thinking about my dad and Mercy being in mortal peril. If I were still worrying about you, too..."

A dark look flickered across Tad's face. "Trust me, Jesse, I wasn't the one in danger."

"Right. Because it's not like the fae responsible for torturing your dad are dangerous or anything," I said dryly.

"Were dangerous," Tad muttered, then looked like he regretted it. "Never mind. The less you know about all this, the better."

"I think it's a little late for that," I said. "I take it Zee didn't hold back when you found them?"

Tad didn't answer, which I took to mean yes. I didn't know much about Zee's days as the Dark Smith of Drontheim, but I knew he'd been a super badass villain type. And with the way everyone talked, I was pretty sure he was powerful enough to be one of the Gray Lords.

"That must have been something to see," I said quietly.

Tad just stared at me for a minute, his expression indecipherable. "Jesse, you are one of a kind. Do you know that?"

"One of a kind, as in...I'm the only daughter of an Alpha werewolf you know who also has a coyote shifter for a stepmom?"

He shook his head. "One of a kind, as in I can talk to you about anything. Even things you're not supposed to know about."

I'd been talking to Tad a lot lately, so this statement probably shouldn't have made my cheeks flush or my stomach tie into a bunch of happy knots. I just shrugged and tried to sound nonchalant as I said, "Well. Knowing too much is kind of an occupational hazard when you live with my dad and Mercy."

"True, but it's not just that. Most people would run the other direction if they knew the truth about who my dad really is. About...what we've had to do." Tad looked away, and I knew he was letting the guilt monster get to him again. Which bothered me a little.

Then again: "Yeah," I said. "I know that feeling."

Tad gave me a searching look. "Yeah, I guess you do."

I realized I was fiddling with my dad's dog tags. I still had Mercy's lamb pendant around my neck, too. "You know," I said conversationally, "my dad once literally ripped someone limb from limb on my behalf. I'm not trying to play the who's-got-a-scarier-dad game or anything, but by comparison, Zee has always seemed downright warm and fuzzy to me."

Tad stared at me for a second, then burst out laughing. "Oh, man. You'd better not let my dad hear you calling him warm and fuzzy."

"It's his own fault," I insisted, feeling weirdly pleased. Everything might be terrible, but at least I could still make Tad laugh. "Zee's never been anything but kind to me. He may have been the Dark Smith of Drontheim once, but that's not who he is anymore."

"Well. That's only mostly true," Tad said, his amusement fading.

"I think it's totally true," I argued. "Zee has been the way he is for so long that most fae have forgotten what he can do. That's only true because he spent a long time choosing not to do the things that made him fearsome in the first place. I have a theory about this, actually."

"Oh?"

"Yeah. I think everything changed when he met your mom. And then he had you, and he couldn't go back."

Tad glanced over at the closed bedroom door, then back at me. "You know, I've had similar thoughts. Dad started destroying his old artifacts right around the time he met my mom."

"See? And now he's just a big old soft-hearted pudding," I said, which got another snort of laughter. I glanced over at the bedroom door, too. "You don't think Zee can hear us, do you?"

"Probably not. But even if he could, he wouldn't eavesdrop."

That must be nice, I thought. Not that my dad didn't respect my privacy; he just couldn't help how much he overheard. Thinking of my dad made my stomach tie into unpleasant knots of worry, though, so I said, "Good. Because I want to ask you something."

Tad raised an eyebrow at me. "Is it something inappropriate?"

"No."

"Dangit."

I rolled my eyes. "How many times do I have to tell you to get your mind out of the gutter?"

"My mind's not in the gutter. It's just going the same place anyone's mind would go if a beautiful girl wanted to make sure you were alone before asking you a question."

I felt suddenly strange and fluttery at the word beautiful, but I was determined not to act like an idiot about it, so I just said, "Oh, really? I didn't know you were into Q-and-A," and wiggled my eyebrows suggestively.

Tad grinned. "What can I say? I'm a sucker for a good one-on-one."

"Ooh. Nice and intimate, eh?" I said, in what I hoped was a seductive voice.

To my immense satisfaction, I saw a flush creep up Tad's neck, and his gaze dropped to my lips before he looked away. I would have teased him about this, except the fluttery feeling had suddenly spread to my brain, and I couldn't stop thinking about what it would feel like to kiss him again.

Tad cleared his throat. "So. You had a question?"

"Right," I said, attempting to focus. "It's about your hair."

"My hair?"

"Yes. I mean...with your hair, do you, um - do you actually need haircuts?"

Tad let out a cough that sounded suspiciously like a disguised laugh. "Jesse, you gave me a haircut."

"I know," I said defensively. "But I also know that most of the fae wear glamours, so I thought maybe you did, too. And if you can change how you look at will...why wouldn't you be able to control the length of your hair, too?"

"Ah," Tad said. He scratched the back of his head self-consciously. "I guess that's a fair question."

"It's not, like, a super top-secret fae thing, is it?" I said. "Apparently I already know too many of those."

Tad shook his head. "No. The fact that fae wear glamours is pretty common knowledge. And you actually have firsthand experience seeing fae without their glamours on."

"I do?" I said, then realized what he meant. "Oh, right. I do." The fae who'd attacked our house hadn't had their glamours on. If they had, they would have been way less freaky-looking. I grimaced, thinking of the gigantic bug-looking fae we'd had to kill.

"What?" Tad said, seeing my expression.

"Nothing. It's just...please tell me you don't turn into a giant creepy caterpillar-looking thing without your glamour on."

Tad laughed again. "No. I do not turn into a giant freaky caterpillar without my glamour on."

"Thank goodness."

"But, Jesse..." he said, his amusement fading. "I don't exactly look like a normal human, either."

I knew this wasn't something Tad talked about with a lot of people. Or possibly anyone. So probably I should have done something like tell him that I didn't care what he looked like, or that no matter what he became without his glamour on, he was still Tad.

Instead I said, "Do you have fur?"

"What?"

"Without your glamour on. Do you have fur?"

"Um...no. I do not have fur," Tad said, bemused.

"Whew! That's a relief," I said. "We've got enough shedding around the house as it is."

Tad only looked befuddled for a moment before he dissolved into laughter again. Then he grabbed my face and started kissing me. First my forehead, then my temple. Then all the way down my cheek. "God - I - missed - you - Jesse," he said, punctuating each word with a kiss.

I missed you too, I meant to say. But the last few days of worrying combined with the last few minutes of wondering when I could kiss him again caught up with me, so I just turned my head to meet him, and then the whole world was just the two of us colliding as his mouth slowly opened against mine.

Tad's hands slipped into my hair, cradling the back of my head, and I felt all the worry chase out of me. Kissing might have been the best activity ever invented. It was definitely right up there with winning the lottery, or becoming the sole victor of a pack-wide battle in ISTDPBF.

Before I could get too lost in it, though, Tad pulled away. "I missed you, Jesse," he said again, resting his forehead against mine. "I know it's only been a few days, but..."

"I missed you, too." I was suddenly glad our faces were so close together. I didn't want him seeing the dopey expression I'd just gotten on mine.

But Tad didn't look at my expression; he just tipped my head back and kissed me again - hungrier this time, like he'd been thinking about this the entire time he was away, too.

Which made it really upsetting when he pulled away again.

"You're not gonna give me another speech about how you want to take me on a proper date, are you?" I said, my breathing slightly ragged.

Tad leaned away from me, like he was trying to get a grip on himself. "I do want to take you on a proper date," he said. "It's just that I can think of a lot of other things I'd like to do, too."

"Like...?"

"Things that would definitely make your dad want to tear me limb from limb."

This made me feel oddly flushed all over. But I just said, "Well, I'd hate to see you dismembered. I guess we'd better go on that date, then."

"We will, Jesse," Tad said, giving me a serious look. "I promise. Just as soon as I can figure out a way to -"

"No," I said. "I meant, why don't we go on a date right now?"

"Now? Like, now now?"

"Sure. Why not?" I said. "We've got basically the whole place to ourselves. I bet there's something to eat in the kitchen. Why don't we scrounge up whatever we can and…I don't know…make a night of it?"

Tad just stared at me again. But then a slow smile spread across his face. "Jesse, have I mentioned lately that you're one of a kind?"

Tad searched the cabinets while I rummaged through the fridge. I pulled out a jar of something that might have passed for blueberry jam, except that it was definitely, definitely glowing. "What is this?" I said, holding it up for Tad's inspection.

Tad took one look at the jar and snatched it out of my hands. "You didn't try to open this, did you?"

"No, of course not. What is it?"

"No idea. Nothing good," Tad said, setting the jar gingerly back in the fridge. He scanned the rest of its contents, then said, "On second thought, why don't you set the table while I look for food?"

"Deal," I said. I knew better than to argue when potentially dangerous magic was involved.

While Tad took over food duty, I assembled plates, napkins, and glasses. At first, there was no sign of silverware. Or plasticware. Not even a pair of rogue chopsticks. Eventually, I found a polished wooden box in one of the lower cabinets that reminded me of the velvet-lined box we kept our fancy silverware in at home. I turned back to Tad and held the box out for inspection. "Do you think this is safe to open?"

Tad took one look at the box and his face lit up. "Aha! That's where it was hiding."

"That's where what was hiding?"

"Metal. I could tell there was something in here, but I couldn't figure out what it was."

"You can tell when metal is nearby? Just like that?" I said, my eyebrows shooting up.

Tad shrugged. "Well, it usually doesn't stick out that much, because in most houses there's all kinds of random metal. But here it's easier to notice."

"Right. Speaking of which. Why would a fae have something metal in here?"

"Well, it's not iron or steel," Tad said, taking the box from me. "Precious metals are another story. This is definitely silver. I'm gonna check and make sure there are no enchantments on it." He muttered something under his breath, frowning in concentration, then declared, "All good," and opened the wooden box. Inside was an array of beautifully crafted silverware that was way too fancy for the plastic placemats we were going to be using.

"Cool," I said, taking the box back. "You know, I've never really seen you work your magic before." Except for that one time in my bedroom. And the javelin-making on Cable Bridge, but I thought it was probably best if I didn't bring that up.

"Hmm," Tad said. "I guess that's true. Well...would you like to?"

I almost lost my grip on the box. "Really?"

I hoped my expression wasn't too pathetic. Because after all, I'd grown up around magic. I was on a first-name basis with our local witch. But it wasn't like my dad ever let me hang around to see Elizaveta work her magic. And the only time I'd ever seen fae magic in action was when they were attacking our house.

And there was definitely a part of me - you know, the Harry Potter-loving part of me - that was as fascinated with the idea of seeing magic in action as any other Muggle.

"Sure," Tad said, grinning at my expression. "How about after dinner, I do a little demo for you?"

"Okay!" I said, and now I knew I looked like a dodo brain, because Tad's grin got even wider.

I decided to turn away and set the table before I made an even bigger fool of myself. Within a few minutes, Tad and I were sitting across from each other with two mismatched place settings and a random assortment of food between us. Tad had managed to scrounge up a jar of olives (gross), a jar of pickle spears (better), a roll of salami, pre-sliced swiss cheese, a bag of honey roasted peanuts, dried dates, and, of all things, a package of Girl Scout cookies.

"How did Girl Scout cookies get here?" I marveled, picking up the box. "And who is going to be pissed at us for eating them?"

Tad shrugged. "Nobody I care about," he said, taking the box from me and ripping it open. "Dig in."

"Dessert before dinner? How scandalous," I said, pulling out a cookie. It was shortbread, which I always think of as the most boring kind of cookie, at least until I bite into it and remember that I actually like it. We munched a couple of cookies in silence before I felt like I ought to say something. "So, Tad...tell me about you."

Tad quirked an eyebrow at me. "Tell you about me?"

"Sure I mean, we're on a date, right? Shouldn't we have...date talk?"

"Date talk? Okay. Well, I'm 6'2", I'm a Virgo Hufflepuff ENFJ-"

"Not that kind of date talk," I said, rolling my eyes. "And what do you mean you're in Hufflepuff?"

"Of course I'm in Hufflepuff. Why wouldn't I be in Hufflepuff?"

"I dunno," I said, cocking my head in thought. "I mean...I always think of you as quite brave, facing off against lava monsters and bridge trolls and things. But you're also quite cunning and sneaky, going off on your secret missions with Zee. And you have the brains to go to an Ivy League school, so..."

"Basically I'm Divergent," Tad said.

I laughed. "That must be it."

"What about you?"

"Me? I'm obviously a Hufflepuff."

"But your Gryffindor hair!" Tad said in mock protest.

"All a clever ruse," I said. "Mercy's the Gryffindor in the family. She's always running headlong into dangerous situations. Dad's the Ravenclaw, constantly strategizing and over-analyzing everything. My actual mom's definitely Slytherin, magically getting everyone to do her bidding all the time. And me..."

"You're a lot like your dad, you know. With your strategic mind."

"Yeah, but I'm also the one still making pancakes when everything around me's going crazy. Sometimes I feel like everything I do is just a put-my-head-down and work hard under the radar sort of thing."

"You know what?" Tad said. "I think that means we're both Divergents."

"That must be it," I agreed. I wrapped a piece of cheese around a chunk of salami and popping it into my mouth. "So...I do have an actual question for you. If you don't mind."

"Go for it," Tad said, opening the jar of pickles.

"When did you first realize you had metal magic?"

"Hmmm." Tad took a bite out of a pickle spear, considering. "I'm not sure there was ever a moment when I realized it. I could always do stuff with metal, even before I could walk. It really freaked my mom out at first. She'd heard stories about the other half-human fae who inherited powers, and how it drove them all mad eventually. But Dad always said he knew I'd be okay. Full-blooded fae can all use their powers from a really young age. But most of the half-fae didn't get their powers until way later, if they got them at all."

"You know, I've always wondered why there weren't more half-fae like you," I said. "It seems like your powers are such a part of you. I can't imagine you without them. How could someone's own magic turn against them?"

Tad's expression turned dark. "Well, that's exactly what the Gray Lords would like to know. Or at least...they're desperate to know why magic stuck with me and no one else."

I felt a pang in my chest. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to bring all that up."

Tad shook his head, his expression clearing. "It's fine, Jesse. Believe me, I've wondered a lot about it myself. Sometimes I think..."

"What?"

"I don't know. It's probably stupid."

"It's probably not," I said.

"All right. Well...the fae paired up with humans because the Gray Lords commanded it, right? But my dad's never exactly been known for following the Gray Lord's commands. I think with my mom, it was just...different. He actually loved her. I don't think that was true for most of the other fae who married humans. Maybe not any of them. I don't know if that's the sort of thing that would actually make a difference, but..."

"I think that makes sense," I said quietly. "After all, this isn't strictly science we're dealing with. It's also, you know, magic. I can see how your dad really loving your mom could have made a difference."

"Maybe," Tad said, with a shrug, but I thought he looked a little heartened by this.

"I wish I'd gotten a chance to meet your mom," I said quietly. "I think there must be a lot of her in you."

"Oh? What makes you say that?"

"Well, you didn't inherit Zee's grouchiness, for one thing."

Tad laughed. "I guess not. My mom was a good balance for my dad in that way. In a lot of ways."

I didn't really know how to navigate the topic of a dead parent, and I definitely didn't want to keeping bringing up anything would depress him, so I wasn't really sure how to steer the conversation from here.

Luckily, Tad went on. "She would've liked you."

"She would?" I said. I felt inordinately pleased.

"Yeah. She would've liked all of you. She might've disapproved of Mercy, though."

"Mercy?" My eyebrows shot up in surprise. "Why?"

"Well, Mercy tends to attract trouble. I can't imagine my mom would have approved of, say, me going into battle against a lava monster."

"Or a bridge troll," I said. "Although I'm pretty sure the lava monster was my mom's fault. And the bridge troll was the fae's fault."

"Yeah, but Mercy's the one who ended up in the middle of both of those messes. As usual."

"Fair point. I guess being the daughter of Coyote will do that to you. It's like she inherited trouble the way you inherited metal magic," I mused. "Don't tell her I said that."

"Never," Tad agreed. "So...tell me about you, Jesse. When did you know your dad was a werewolf?"

"Oh, man," I said. "I'm not sure I have a specific memory for this, either. But I can tell you that for a while I thought he was our pet."

"Your pet?"

"Yep. One day, when I was, oh, three or four, Auriele was babysitting while my mom went out for errands. My dad had gone out with some of the pack, just...running around in wolf form, I guess, and when he got back he could tell that my mom was gone, but he didn't realize I was still there. Or something? Anyway, the gist of it is that he came back to the house as a wolf, and the second I spotted him I just ran to him and started petting him. And then I ended up climbing on his back and he ran around for a while. Which I apparently I loved so much that he started doing it whenever my mom wasn't around.

"It didn't take long for me to bust us, though. Every time I was outside, I started pointing to the woods and asking where doggie was. Mom figured it out pretty quick, and she was not happy. But she and my dad must have worked something out, because I remember seeing him in wolf form, like, all the time as a kid. And I guess somehow I put two and two together in my little kid brain, because one day when my dad showed up in wolf form, my mom says I ran to him and said, 'Daddy!' and that was that."

"That is ridiculously adorable," Tad said.

I threw a piece of salami at him. "And if you ever tell my dad I told you that story, he will definitely tear you limb from limb."

"Duly noted," Tad said, popping the salami into his mouth.

"So," I said, deciding a change of subject was in order. "You never actually answered my question."

"Which question?"

"About your hair."

Tad got a devilish look on his face. "Oh, right. That question. I guess I got a little distracted."

"I guess you did," I said coolly, even though my heart had taken up the good old thwomp-thwomp-thwomp-ing in my chest again. "So?"

"So...I do need haircuts," Tad admitted. "Although technically I could also give myself a haircut. If I wanted." He shut his eyes, and I watched as his hair grew out past his hears, and then shrank back up again just as quickly.

Even though I'd suspected this was true, I couldn't keep myself from gasping as I watched. "So why did you let me - I mean, why didn't you stop me from -?"

"Well, you seemed so determined," Tad said. "I didn't want to disappoint you."

He was clearly trying and failing to keep a straight face. I gave him a Look.

"Also," he said, "maybe I wasn't opposed to spending a little more time with you."

He held my gaze long enough that my cheeks grew warm again.

"Well," I said, clearing my throat. I surveyed our mostly-consumed hodge-podge of food. Mostly consumed by Tad, I should point out. "That was tasty. Thanks for pulling all the food together."

"Thanks for suggesting we steal somebody's food to go on a date."

"We did not steal...okay, I guess we did totally steal all this food. Do you think we should leave money or something?"

Tad shrugged. "I'll tell Uncle Mike to put it on my tab."

After we finished cleaning up, we settled back on the couch in front of the fireplace. The wooden box sat open on the coffee table, its contents gleaming in the firelight.

"Are you ready for this?"

"If you are," I said.

"Why don't you put on some music?" Tad said.

"Oookay." I grabbed my phone. "What kind of music?"

"The musical kind."

"Helpful," I said, rolling my eyes. For some reason, a scene from the movie Hocus Pocus popped into my head - the one where the witches show up at a Halloween party and start enchanting a room full of people. I pulled up the song I Put A Spell On You and turned it on.

Tad laughed, which of course had been my goal. "All right. Here we go."

He took a deep breath, then started moving his hands. The fancy silverware began to move, too.

Nina Simone sang, "I put a spell on you, because you're mine..." and the silverware lifted out of the box, spiraling up toward the ceiling, where it formed into the shape of a chandelier.

"Whoa," I said. The look on my face must have been something else, because Tad looked pretty pleased with himself.

"What else do you want to see?" he said.

"Do a school of fish! No - a giraffe! Ooh - the Statue of Liberty!"

Tad did all three, then made the silverware fly all around the room. In the middle of all the zooming, he looked over at me. "Do you trust me?"

"Of course, Aladdin."

"What?"

"It's what he says to Jasmine right before they - never mind. Yes, I trust you."

"Okay. Stand over there. Make sure there's some space around you."

I hopped off the couch and went to stand in the middle of the room. Tad stood up, too, moving his hands around and around in circles. Next thing I knew, I had a cone of silverware flying around me. It was kind of like standing in the middle of a tornado, only way less scary and way more beautiful.

Tad walked over to me, parting the silverware for a moment so he could stand right in front of me, and then he closed the tornado around us again. The silverware caught glints of the firelight as it moved; I could see the bright reflections moving across Tad's skin as the silverware swirled round and round.

"It's like being inside a disco ball," I murmured. "But, like, a really stabby one."

Tad gave a quiet laugh. One of his hands kept moving in a slow circle, keeping the silverware swirling around us. His other hand went to my cheek, and I tilted my face up toward his.

"I put a spell on you...I put a spell on you..."

The words of the song and the flow of Tad's magic went around and around in my head as he kissed me. I gripped Tad's shirt tightly with both hands and lost myself in it completely.

By the time we came up for air, Tad's arms were tight around me, and all the silverware had scattered across the floor. I leaned into him, nestling my face against his chest and feeling the rapid thump-thump-thump of his heart, and knew that I was a complete and total goner.