Sorry I haven't been uploading guys, I've been pretty busy as of late trying to find another Job, and the week I've had didn't go so well. =( Luckily I'm back! Oh and you might also see an honest trailer from me very soon depending on the ideas I get. Time for Audrey & James's third Date! Also I MAY jump the shark a little with a surprise at the end of this one. ;) Enjoy!
James's Perspective
So it's been a pretty dope day. We've done everything, from water slides, too hitting the tubes, too cotton candy chowing, too pool hopping. Though we didn't visit the wave pool. Why? Fuck the wave pool, that's why.
Whenever I'm in the wave pool it's always filled with fat, smelly, Italian or Mexican dudes that wear shirts in the pool! Or WORSE… They're shirtless! And due to the massive fluctuation of the waves, you always end up bumping into them! It's fucking disgusting.
Plus there's always some little kid using the pool as a toilet, and there's the perverted Japanese people who act like they're on the subway trains back in their home country, you know what I'm talking about…..Uhhhhhh. Never mind.
Anyways, we still had fun, her and I, the girl with the Black hair & blue highlights, red eyes and tiny frame. She might be short as hell, and was more slap-happy than two high school girls in a fight, but she was actually kinda fun to be around. Overtime she stopped resisting my advances and just gave in. I was basically being a flirt the entire day, and only got smacked ONCE. Thank god, anymore slaps and I think my skin would turn green instead of red. Then we'd REALLY have a problem.
It's now 5:00 PM and everything's chill. We're taking a seat, and getting a couple bites too eat….. Hey that rhymed! Has some of Trey's magic rubbed off on me? … Oh and in case you don't remember…. The girl I'm with is the little mega bitch over there sitting on the opposite side of me with her hand on her cheek. Her name is Audrey Belrose.
It's pretty late in the day, the sun is beginning to set into a beautiful orange-red glow in the sky, and the evening is beginning to come in. I'm sitting there sipping my pepsi, because fuck Coke. Real men don't do Coke, they do Pepsi! And then I look over at Audrey, who's sitting there surprisingly chill, but refusing to look at me.
"Yo Audrey?... you okay?" I ask her, generally concerned about her attitude. Don't tell me I fucked up again? I KNOW she loves the flirting. So don't even give me that fuckin' bullshit. She looks up at me and then looks away like a Sudere; TSUNDERE YOU IDIOT! TSUNDERE!
And says… "I'm fine! What?" I smile a bit and say, with general concern.
"Well you've been quiet ever since we've been here. You're not even eating the funnel cake I bought for you." On a date, I heard it's customary for the guy to pay for the girl…..I always thought that was stupid. A bitch better pay for herself! Why the hell do I have to pay for her? She accepted the date! I don't owe her a damn thing. But…..seeing as though I don't wanna strike out with Audrey, I bought her a funnel cake. Something I thought she might like.
"Because I'm full. Is that so bad? Here you can have it." She pushed the basket of funnel cake towards me, I then look at it, look back at her…And scarf that sucker down! There's no way this bitch was gonna waste a good fucking funnel cake! She had this weird look in her eyes. Her eyes were like two large white circles while someone drew….black scribbles on the side. WTF?
You and I need to have a talk about anime stereotypes once we go home.
She then blinks and says "Whatever….can we please go home now? I've been up and down this park all day, and I'm tired." I raise an eyebrow, and then tickle under her chin. "Bitch please. You know you had fun today." I tell her teasingly.
"Yeah…..So what?! I had a good time! Don't make such a big deal out of it." She then smacks my hand away and gets up. "Can we just fucking go?! Please? …I'm not used to this." Used to what? Hmmm…..maybe I can figure it out once I take her home. "Alright then. Fair enough."
Kyu's Perspective
My little Douchebag is growing up….. Mommy's so proud! He's totally gonna pork that bitch like a fresh out of the oven holiday ham! All he needs is one more date.
So I check the huniebee, and the chances of him sleeping with her ARE…..….wait a minute….. I pull out the huniebee, and open the chart. And the chances of her sleeping with him are at… 20%?! How?!
That means it went DOWN….how is this possible?! What the hell is he doing? He did exactly as I told him, and yet it's working out like THIS? What the hell?! The sex graph should be going up! Why is it going down?!
Did I do something wrong?! Did I tell him too flirt when I should've told her she likes talent?! Does he consider me his only sperm dumpster?! That's never happened before. So what could it be?... *gasp* ….Wait. I glance over at the two of them leaving. I was in the lazy river the entire time, right near them, and I'm beginning to pass right by him. I see him get up with his date the bitchy red head, who…for some reason is now black & blue. Wow Ramona Flowers complex much?
And soon as he gets up….he goes in too straightforward and holds her hand. Suddenly, I hear the most terrifying orchestra play in my HEAD!
DUN! DUN! DUUUNNNNNNNN!
OH. MY GOD. WHAT in the holy mother of venus's Tig Ol' Bitties is that douchebag doing?! He's romancing her, making moves suggesting he's interested in her! When he should be going in for the Jason Voorhees kill! …. Well not that kind of kill. Anyways, seriously! He's romancing her, what is he in love or something-….. Oh my god it's worse than I thought isn't it?
I am NOT having that shit. My reputation is on the line! I don't give a fuck about "True Love".
So I call James, and I immediately tell him to come to the Lazy River. And this time, people can see me, so this sexy fairy can rock this sexy ass leaf bikini and look better than all of the bitches up in this joint, thank you very much!
Once I get him on the line, I tell him… "James! Come to the lazy river, now!" And then hang up. He gets a puzzled look on his face after looking at the Huniebee he owns. Too which Little Ms. Blue Bomber over there says …
"Uh…James? What's wrong with you? Why do you have that retarded look on your face?" This got him a BIT annoyed. She basically just said he looked retarded. I'd be pretty pissed too, god what a bitch!...She looks like fun! I'd love to party with her.
"I'll be right back Audrey, wait here for me." With that he stormed off, and Audrey just blinked twice. She's probably confused as fuck, don't worry sweetie, all will become clear…As soon as I remind this love struck looney of the mission at hand!
So James comes waltzing on over to the lazy river. And I float right next to him in a tube. "James!" I call out too him. He runs right over too me and says.
"Wha- AGH!" I cut that son of a bitch off by pulling his ear and whispering. "Can you tell me what the fuckshit you think you're doing?!"
"What the hell are you talking about?!" He says to me, whispering back. "I mean what are you doing with Audrey?!" Then I show him the Huniebee. Look at this! "LOOK at this!" Hey I already said that.
"The Huniebee's Sex calculator percentage has gone down! You've gone down a lot since your date with Audrey started. It was at 25%! Now it's at 20%!" I tell him. He just quacks like a duck for some….odd reason. Ok? And then gives me a look.
"…Kyu that's only 5%." It's more than five percent! "It's YOUR SEX LIFE!" Hey that's what I was about to say. Well I mean I did….but Uh…Yeah.
"And the more it goes down, the lesser chance you have of porking that bitch, can you please focus on the mission at hand?!" I remind him. A little forcefully? Maybe. But I have a track record too keep up, and I'm NOT gonna let go of it anytime soon. So….tough love Jamesy, tough love.
He just takes his ear back and says "Yeah yeah, I got it! I'm still workin' on it. So chill the fuck out. I got in handled." He says to me. He'd better! Or else he's not getting' any from me tonight. But in all honesty….. What if he actually ends up in Love with this girl? UGH. I thought guys liked too fuck hot girls. In all my years of helping boys turn into men, the fun way, I've never encountered friends with benefits relationships that end in romance or love or….whatever you wanna call it. And this….This doesn't feel the same way. It feels like…..LIKE LOVE!
James's Perspective
Sheesh…. What the fuck was up with Kyu? I get close to one girl and she acts like I stabbed a damn puppy. Fuck. Forget Wanda McWhorewinkle over there, it's all about me and Audrey.
So once I come back up, Kyu finally lets go of my damn ear, and we finally get too leave the park, we head back home too Audrey's place. Man even her house is tiny! I shudder at the thought of seeing her parents for some reason. I imagine her dad is at least 5'7, while her mom is probably 5'4. I know I'm making delusional generalizations, but HOLY SHIT. I might have to start calling her mouse if we hook up for real.
Anyways… time to make my move. Since Kyu won't shut the fuck up about me sleeping with her, I just decided to say "Fuck it" And go in for the kill.
"So here we are now, but the night's still pretty young. Your parents' home?" I ask while looking at her. She still won't look at me, looking down the entire time looking nervously cute as she does it too. At this point I can't tell if she's nervous or is denying her feelings, but one thing's certain….. She fucking digs me.
"I personally don't care if they're home. I'm my own damn person, so I come and go as I please…..Most likely not though. My dad is….." Then she stops speaking for a second, as I look at her, wondering what she's gonna say next.
"…..None of your business ok? They're both not here. So what of it?" She tells me. "Well Then! I think I'll do you a favor and keep this party goin'. Let's see what your little hot shop abode looks like from the inside?" I tell her while smiling at her, telling it like I'm the boss. She glares like she ain't havin' it, but…. She stays silent…..and we have a stare down that is both intense, and kinda romantic at the same time. I give her a nice devilish smile, she gives me a petty ass glare. After at least ten seconds of looking at each other to the point where it was almost like we were into each other's eyes…
"…..Alright. Your welcome to come in. Go ahead! See if I fucking care." TOUCHDOWN! Damn I'm good! I don't even need Kyu anymore. I got this thing locked up now! …. Though….. Part of me wondered why she hesitated? Was she still working out whether or not she liked me? Or did part of her still resent me? I don't even know anymore. But….I bet I'll find out later on.
So I enter Audrey's house, and it's pretty nice. Her house has a nice living room, chock full of portraits. DAMN so many fucking portraits, it's crazy. Most of them are of her and her "Dad". They must be pretty close.
"Go ahead and sit down somewhere, I got some shit too do upstairs so….I guess maybe once I come back we can share a beer or something. Just don't fucking touch anything!" I put my hands up. DAAAAAYUM girl chill the fuck out.
"Alright alright. Y'know, you should have some ice cubes shoved down there." She looked at me like I was crazy. "What? WHY?" She asked me.
"Because I don't think you know the meaning of the words… "Chill out"?"
SMACK! Audrey had her hand up, and my cheek was pretty red… Ok I'll admit I deserved that one.
"Just shut the fuck up and sit down here until I get back!" She yells at me, and then she storms upstairs. Well that didn't go so well. Note too self, no more jokes for the night.
I take a seat on Audrey's leather couch, which is also red, like her original hairstyle, and I look around at all the pictures. It's honestly kind of creepy how she has so many pictures on her wall. Like damn, did she worship her fucking parents or something? And where's her mom?
I look away from them, but….one picture actually catches my eye. It's a picture with her and her mom and dad…..and she's young. She's smiling in the picture, her father's hands are on her shoulders, and her mom is too the left of her. Everyone is smiling into the camera, and Audrey looks too be at least about 8 or 9, 10 at the oldest.
Is this really Audrey? She looks so different…..so happy. What happened? Ugh….I don't even care. I was honestly too busy thinking about how I was gonna recover from that joke I made earlier about her inability to Chill the fuck out. As well as how my cheek is able to take all of this abuse…..
But this picture…..It still leaves me puzzled. Cause there's a lot like this, ones that contain portraits of her, and her father. The picture I saw…..Well Curiosity might just kill this cool cat.
Because I just take it off the wall, look at it further for about ten seconds… And then I hear a familiar voice.
"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOUR DOING?!" FUCK. MY. LIFE. I'm dead. I quickly turn around and there's Audrey, she changed back into the dress she was wearing too school from earlier, and she…..had a weird white mark on her lip. Like right under her nose. It looked like white powder, plus that….and her fucking nose was bleeding!
"Why the fuck are you touching my shit! I told you not to touch anything!" She then snatched the picture from me and took it back. But I was more concerned about the bleeding nose.
"Hold up a sec Audrey, why is your nose bleeding?!" I ask her. "That's none of your fucking business! I told you specifically not too touch anything! What are you fucking braindead?! Blind?! Deaf!?"
She can talk like a bitch all she wants. But I'm more concerned about why she's bleeding out her nose. It isn't running or anything like that, but I can see blood slowly drip down from her nose for a bit, and plus there are red marks on her nose clearly indicating that it was bleeding before! So I don't answer her for a second…..Wait…..i'm not stupid…..She's been doing drugs again. HARD drugs. And I think she's been snorting some of that Candy….I know she likes sweets. But this has gone too far.
"Why the fuck aren't you answering me YOU FUCKING RETARD! WAKE UP! I'M YELLING AT YOU! PAY ATTENTION!" She reaches too slap me, but I block it once again. I've had enough slaps for one day.
"Audrey…..Why the hell is your nose bleeding?" She just glares and grimaces at me…. "Why the fuck should I answer your question when you won't answer mine?! WHY did you touch my shi-" I cut her off. I've had enough of her bullshit for one day.
"BECAUSE YOUR NOSE IS FUCKING BLEEDING THAT'S WHY!" I get in her face, and give her a serious look. I'm not playing anymore….and once that happens…..she actually folds. She…..gets this look on her face like her life is at stake. Like she's scared. I feel bad for scaring her like this… but….I gotta know what she's doing too herself.
"What did you do Audrey?...I don't wanna yell at you like this, but it's only because I actually give a shit about you! I'm sorry I touched your portrait, I was curious alright! You looked so happy in the picture! I was gonna ask you when you came downstairs! But now here I see you've been snortin' rocks?! It's causing your nose too drench, and I'm not gonna have it. Is that why your nose is bleeding?!" She just shakes…like I have her hand in my own…..so I can feel it shaking. She's scared…..and she doesn't even answer me. It's like she's seeing me as a whole 'nother person.
I see this and back off a bit…letting go of her hand. If she slaps me….then so be it.
"I'm….I'm sorry. It's just that I got concerned seeing you like that Big Red…If something's wrong…..you don't have to play the Tsundere act. You can tell me. I'm here for you if you need me. What's the matter?...why are you so…..bitter? So bitter that you'd need to do drugs in order to keep yourself happy?" I tell her…Audrey looks down…..there are shadows over her eyes…..and an awkward silence fills the room.
"It's…." She just utters. "It's nothing…. I didn't really do….I didn't do any drugs. I was in the bathroom powdering my nose when I slipped and fell and my face hit the sink. That's what happened." Liar.
I knew she was lying….. But….for her sake… I'll let it go. For now. With that being said…..We talked for a little bit, I just asked if she was ok….and she said yeah. I decided to leave it at that…..and give her a nice comforting hug.
I gotta admit…..no girl would ever make me do this. This is completely out of my element, but…..Now I just feel bad for her. Something's wrong, and I want to help her. Maybe there's a reason why she's such a bitch after all…
So with that being said…..I just returned home afterwards… I was pretty weirded out by the bizarre events that just took place. I've never experienced anything like it. It was unsettling too me too say the least. And….not unsettling in the way you read Creepypastas on the internet. I mean unsettling in a way that just….rubs you the wrong way.
At the same time….. I really felt as though I was closer too Audrey. She was hiding something from me still…..I don't know why. But on the next date….I promised myself I'd show her that she can trust me. I've never really felt this way about a girl before….Hell before they'd always fucking smack me in the face if I even asked 'em out! …
But Audrey…..she's different for some reason…..She's not like the other girls….Even though she's smacked me more times than I can count…but with her….I don't know. I feel as though….I'm in love.
As soon as I get home, back to my dorm room, I expect that Kyu is there ready to annoy my head off. But she's sitting at the helm of my bed, simply reading one of my hent- I MEAN porn magazines. She looks at me and says
"Oh your back!" She jumps off the bed, and then flies over me. "Sooooooo, how'd it go tiger? You turn that pussy into a bobcat with your man-meat or what?" She then nudges me and winks, but I just walk right past her.
She looks at me with confusion on her face. "What's wrong pal?" Raising her eyebrow.
"Kyu…..some shit popped off. I don't really wanna talk about it." She kept looking at me weirded out.
"What's the matter?... *gasp* did you fail the mission!? Oh my god! No way?! You struck out with her?! I better look at the Huniebee!" She then looked on the little cellphone thing, and what she saw nearly took her breath away. "10 FUCKING PERCENT?!" What's happened to you?! This is a disaster! What did you do?!" She tells me, freaking the fuck out.
I simply look at my poster of Pamela Anderson, and half-close my eyes, then facepalm myself. I might've fucked up somewhere along the lines… I realize that now. But….when you screw something up… you screw it back down. So I lean up on the end of my bed, and I open my cell phone…
Audrey's Perspective
What the hell just happened?...I don't even…Tch….Fucking bastard. First he touches my dad's portrait, then he makes me feel bad about doin' coke!
Yeah I fuckin' lied! SO WHAT?! He doesn't need to be in my business! He says he cares about me….Well… I don't need him too! I don't need a man to affirm me! I'm my own fucking girl. Ok? I don't need him all up in my business.
If he really cared about me…..he'd…..give me some space…..That's why…When he fucking grabbed me….That son of a bitch!...Sorry….but I just couldn't deal. He's gone too far. I know there's a double standard here, but I don't care! He is NOT allowed to touch me that way. I knew he should've just fucked me and got it over with, unfortunately for him I ain't no slut. So he had to work for it, but….I was kinda scared…..The look he had on his face was just….it reminded me of…..Tch!
Whatever. I don't have to tell you people anything! I'm the Mega-Bitch, remember? GOD I need a rush right now… I was about to go ahead and calm myself down by just smoking a joint…..but OF COURSE. My cell phone rings. GREAT. You know what? I think I'm just going to end it with this asshole! I'm tired of his shit! So I open the phone…
Two Way Call: 8:22 PM
Audrey: Alright listen here you stupid asshole! I'm tired of your-
James: Hold on! Please Audrey, hear me out for a second okay?
Audrey: NO! Fuck you! I'm tired of your bullshit. You scared the fucking life out of me, I thought you were gonna-
James: Hit you?...I'd never do that. Audrey I wanted to say I'm sorry for getting a bit rough with you. I know I over-stepped my boundaries, and almost crossed into physical abuse territory. And for that I apologize.
Audrey: ….. Well…..Good. At least you know what you fucking did.
James: Yeah. Anyways, you maybe wanna give me one more chance and go out on a third date?
Audrey: Hmmm…Alright. Fine. But no more fucking tricks! Got it?!
James: Yeah I got it. And Audrey?
Audrey: What?!
James: …..I'd never hit someone with bewitching red eyes like yours. You're way too beautiful for someone like me too ruin your face. You're not Rihanna, so quit acting like a victim. I know I over-stepped my boundaries…..but it was only because I was generally damn near paranoid about your bloody nose.
Audrey: What bloody nose?...
James: You didn't notice? Your nose was starting to run.
Audrey: I already told you I hit my face on th-
James: YEAH calling bullshit. You did not hit your face on the sink.
Audrey:…
James: Be honest with me Audrey….for once in your life…..Were you up there snorting coke before you came back down?
Audrey: …-lip quivers over the phone- ….Yes.
James: *sigh* We'll talk about this another time. I don't wanna make you feel bad about it but…..promise me you'll lay off that stuff for a while huh?
Audrey: Fine…..whatever.
James: You have to promise me Audrey!
Audrey: Alright!...I promise.
James: Ok. That's all I need for now…..I guess I'll see you next week?
Audrey:….Sure. Whatever.
James: Alright then.
Audrey: And…James?
James: Yeah?
Audrey:…Thanks….I guess…..
James: …You're welcome Big Red. Heheh.
Audrey: That nickname is stupid you know.
James: Huh?
Audrey: You call me "Big Red" When I'm clearly a fucking midget. I don't get that. It's fucking ironic as all hell.
James: Yeah…but you've got a big attitude. Your bark is way worse than your bite. Plus I thought it might help lift your spirits a little. It's refreshing too know you're big in someone else's eyes. You'll always be big too me.
Audrey: ….. –smiles over the phone- Thanks. Goodnight.
James: Goodnight Big Red. –hangs up-
Audrey's Perspective
Ok…..Even I have to admit that was…a little sweet.
But whatever…..it doesn't matter…..it's not like I'm beginning to like him. But ultimately…at least he cares. That's more than I can say for…..HIM…Ugh.
Whatever, I'm not even in the fuckin' mood to do drugs anymore.
All of a sudden though…..I can feel a straight pounding in my chest. Like it's pounding more than usual….. My heart is beating fast. I hold my hand on my chest and….it is. It's beating faster than ever. I've….never really felt this way. How is it even possible? Am I actually starting too like this turd faced jerk?!...He makes my heart beat so fast…I DEFINETLY have got to give him a good fuck later.
James's Perspective
After that whole fucking fiasco that was our "Second Date", a week had passed by, and it was time for our third date. I figured why not just skip the bullshit and jump right into It? I was getting ready for it too. I had my deluxe suit on with a nice red tie. Because we both know Red is the best fucking color on the planet. I also styled my hair back with some gel. Lookin' slick there James! I'll be "bonding" with Audrey ALL NIGHT!...Y-you see what I did there?... Heh…Shouldn't there be an explosion going off behind me- Anyways!
Kyu was still determined to get us in the same bed together. So she kept reminding me and reminding me and reminding me of the damn mission. She came up right behind me and started massaging my shoulders, as if I was preparing for some kind of boxing match. WTF?
"Alright champ. This is the date that'll put you back on the map with Audrey! The Sex Percentage calculator's low right now, but you can get it back up if you stay focused! Make your intentions known, charm her all night, and keep up the flirtation, because her preferred trait hasn't changed…." I take a glance at the Huniebee, yep it hasn't changed. It still says that she loves flirtation and hates romance.
But that's kind of interesting….because I think she's starting too warm up too it. "And if you're lucky…..you might get too bed her tonight! Make it snappy, and don't let me down out there kid! Ok?!" Kyu was in her normal outfit, the one I saw her in with the pigtails? Yeah that, and who is she calling Kid?!
"I'm not a kid Kyu! And I know what to do. Tonight's gonna be the best night of Audrey's life. I'll make sure of it."
"That's what I like to hear Champ! Go get 'em!" AND she slaps me on the ass again….I forgot she's such a nympho that it pains me too be her roommate. Dear god help me…..
Anyways, it's time for that date! I roll straight up to Audrey's place in my Scarlett Red Bentley, YES I have a Bentley, and walk too her door. Wondering if she's ready for me or even if she's gonna be here. Considering she's so damn fragile around me she could break like glass.
But I knock on the door, and after a couple of knocks…. "STOP IT! I'M COMING YOU MORON!" There she is. There's the Bbitch I know and love.
She opens the door….And just…WOW…..SHE. LOOKS. STUNNING. I'm serious; I know I'm rubbing it in at this point. But she is one hell of a P.Y.T. That stands for Pretty Young Thing if Michael Jackson taught me anything.
She had her hair styled in a small ponytail and she died it red once again without her white highlights at the bottom. She also was wearing a pure black dress that fit her nearly perfectly. In fact if fit her so well It….actually made her breasts look big! I'm serious!
She had on lipstick, velvet red nail polish, and….is that eye-liner?! Is this even Audrey?! I blink twice before opening my mouth….
"Wow….you clean up damn good." I then relax my face, and she just glares at me slightly. "Yeah thanks. Let's just do this already." With that being said, I take her too my car, and even open the door for her.
"I could've gotten it myself!...But thank you." This is so not Audrey, she's saying Thank you? Getting all dressed & dolled up? OH this is going to be one hell of a date. I know that much.
With that being said, I started driving off too our destination, Vinnie's Restaurant. I didn't tell her because I wanted to surprise her. I saved up a lot of money working part-time at the coffee shop for 8 bucks an hour. Working a total of 35 fucking hours just too get enough money to come here. So….She better appreciate it.
"So…do you even know where we're going?" And she's actually looking at me while talking to me this time? WOW this is a change of pace for Audrey.
"Yeah….But I'm gonna keep it a surprise for you. It ruins the mystery and fun if I tell you." I tell her while keeping my eyes on the road.
"I though girls liked straightforward men? I guess that was a bunch of bullshit." Remember that Jamesy?
After a few minutes of driving, we finally arrive at Vinnie's. Audrey is pretty damn ecstatic about it too, her eyes widened and she got out of the car in a hurry.
"Vinnie's Restaurant?! Are you serious?!" She actually had a happy look on her face. Everything's so damn different on this date. It might actually go extremely well.
"Yep. I worked extra hours to go here. I figured "Eh might as well go big this time or go home." She was so happy, that she actually ran over and hugged me. Like….ACTUALLY hugged me.
I'm beginning to think I should ask WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH AUDREY?!
But I'm not gonna do that…At least not right now. "This is amazing! All of the rich folk in Dawnwood go here! Thank you!" She sounded so excited, but after looking up at me, widening her eyes, and regaining her composure…She cleared her throat and said
"I mean…..Yeah whatever. This is cool. Let's hurry up and get this over with." My god she's cute.
We head to the stairs that lead inside Vinnie's Restaurant and end up going into an Escalator. Audrey folds her arms when we get in, but when we come out…She is fucking amazed. It's like she's a caveman who just discovered fire for the first time. She looks around like a child at a Toys R Us, as the place was honestly…..Pretty damn fancy!
I mean, shit they have nice, well-kept tables with white cloth over them next to a beautiful viewing window, where you could look out into the midnight sky over Dawnwood….That's perfect. And we were right next to the Fancy Schmancy bar too.
So I asked for our reservation, and we were seated immediately. Right next to the window seat.
The moon's ominous glow shined down on both of us and our table. "Ok, may I take your order?" The waiter asks me & my hot date. In fact… I think I'll use that line.
As I open my menu I begin to get the first word. "You may of course…for me and my hot date."
I wink at her, she just scowls and looks away. She STILL keeps up that damn Tsundere act. Ugh.
"Alright what can I get for you?" I look through the menu, and since I was a meaty type of guy…. "I think I'll have the Seared tenderloin with Butter poached Lobster Tails." Yep. That seemed appropriate.
"Audrey, what are you gonna order?" I look at her, but then I see that she's looking through the menu at a hilarious quick pace…..And why does she have it upside down? "Grrrrr! Dammit there's nothing good on here! Where's all the sweets and shi-"
She then looks at me from over her menu, and then a trickle of sweat drops down the side of her head. "Eheheheh…I mean….I'll have what he's having." She said nervously.
"Alright….I'll be right back with your orders. In the meantime would you like any appetizers?" We both yelled at the guy to get out of here. "NO!" And then he scurried away.
We waited quite a long while for our food to arrive, and during this time I simply looked Audrey in the eyes, flirting silently.
"Why the hell are you looking at me like that?" I just gave her a flirtatious look, like I was lost in her eyes….Which I'll admit…I kinda am.
"I told you….Your red eyes are just bewitching." She blushes and looks away, folding her arms.
"You can stop with the romantic talk. I've told you a million times that I don't like you that way." She's saying that. Sure.
"Oh yeah? Then why'd you even accept my dating proposal?" I say to her, getting a little closer while also moving my hand to the table.
"Because!...Because… Because I don't know! ….everyone needs a good smoke buddy…And… I dunno…I guess I just have a lot of fun when you're around." This'll probably be the only time I'll ever do this tonight since I know she doesn't like it….. but…. I grasp her chin with two fingers, and turn her head towards me, meeting her face to face.
"C'mon Big Red…..don't give me that Tsundere act. Why don't you just tell me? There's nothing you can hide from me, we're way too knee deep into this. So just tell me….what are you feeling?" She then smiles at me with the same flirtatious look I have on my face. Looks like she's finally folded.
"Alright…..Only if you'll let go of my chin." She says too me softly. So I oblige with her request.
"So talk to me. What's the deal?" I say to her.
"FIRST….you have to tell me something." She says while putting her left hand on her cheek and laying her head on her palm.
I also noticed….is she?...Is she actually into this? Because her hand is awfully close to mine. Like….our hands are almost brushing up on each other.
"Ok?...What's that?" I ask. Keeping my cool.
"Why do you care so much? Why do you….care about me? What's YOUR deal?" Her tone of voice is much softer than it was before. There wasn't a hint of bitchiness in it and it sounded like she was genuinely asking me a question. She's definitely folded.
"Well… I dunno. I guess I just thought you were cute. You were a total bitch when I met you before, now you're a little less of a bitch." I tell her.
"Well contrary too popular belief…..I'm not a total cunt. There's more to me than meets the eye y'know." She's now glaring at me while keeping up that flirtatious smile. We couldn't keep our eyes off of each other. We just kept looking at each other the entire time, getting closer with every sentence.
"Oh trust me…I know. That's what I've been trying to find out. Does that mean you'll let me in?" I ask her.
"Maybe…..If you're lucky I might let you into just more than panties." WHOA NELLY! She thinks I mean her panties. Wow, that's pretty bold. I really like the way this girl rolls.
"Heh….that's funny. You think I mean your panties." At this point…..I honestly don't care about getting in her pants…..I was way too into Audrey too even care. I started to have my hand creep up on hers, to the point where mine was over top of hers. She blushes and widens her eyes, but then regains her composure and looks back at me, returning the favor by grasping her hand with mine.
"Then what exactly do you mean?..." She says while looking straight into my eyes.
"Why don't I show you?" I tell her…..and then we inch close to each other…..and closer…..until…..
"Excuse me! Your dinner has arrived."
DAMMIT! Motherfucker! I was just about to hit the bullseye! I had to contain my anger, for the date's sake. But Audrey…..she couldn't do it so easily.
"HEY! WE'RE HAVING A MOMENT HERE! PISS OFF!" Her head was bloated over the other guy, and man was she steamed. She roared at him like a lion, forcing him to drop the baskets of our food, some baccardi & sparkling water, and buckets of ice at our table and run off.
"Oh shit….he dropped some Bacardi! Hold up a sec, I'm gonna pound this." She opens the bottle, pours a couple glasses for me and her, and we get too drinking.
Kyu's Perspective
Time for a little undercover work! I'm at the restaurant by myself, not that hard considering I'm not the "Relationship" type.
I get my table, I open the menus and OH MY GOD There's nothing to eat here! Seriously, this place has some whack-ass food. I'd rather be eating at a dairy queen. LITTERALLY! Even though I know that sounds Ratchet as FUCK, but they have way better options than this.
But the food here isn't my objective, I glance over at James & Audrey on their "Date" too see if James is doing what I told him to do. And…..too my surprise….He's doing exactly what I told him too!-
WHAAAAAAAT?! I glance over and look at the two of them! And they're doing things like holding hands, giving each other lovey-dovey looks, and feeding each other lobster tails!
What in the serious fuck?! He's lost it. He's under her spell! My mission is in jeopardy! I needed to do something quick in order to make him realize what he's doing wrong! And I've got to do it now!...Ooh! A sexy waitress just walked out of the kitchen. BINGO.
I get a nice grinchy smile on my face….and she just happened to be walking by my table. So… I trip her! And she spills butter milk all over Audrey's dress! HAHAH! Now we can get back on track!
James's Perspective
"AAAAAAAGGH! WHAT THE HELL!?" Audrey screams, damn she's pissed!
"Audrey chill out! It was an accident!" I tell her. She….actually calms down? She's seething mad, but she goes into calm down mode, and breathes in and out.
"I-I- I'm so sorry! Really I am, I don't know how that happened! I think someone must've tripped me or something-" The waitress babbles on and on.
"JUST FORGET IT!" Audrey screams. And then she storms into the bathroom in order to clean herself up, which had me waiting for a while. After the waitress cleans up the mess in like, 10 minutes, I get a call on my phone, which is once again linked to the Huniebee. Who could be calling me? Why KYU of course…..Fuck me.
I'm afraid too even open the phone, wondering what she could possibly have too say that would piss me off this time. So…I open the phone….answer the call…..and say…. "Hello?"
"WHAT IN PAPA SMURF'S TINY BLUE NUTSACK ARE YOU DOING?! YOUR MISSION IS TOO MAKE HER CLIMAX NOT COURT HER! GET YOUR HEAD BACK IN THE GAME DUDE, OTHERWISE YOU'LL NEVER GET HER IN BED! SHE'S NOT THE TYPE TOO GO FOR THIS LOVEY-DOVEY STUFF SO JUST GET YOUR MIND OUT OF THE GUTTER AND-"
AAAAAAND I'm done with her shit. She nearly took my head off with all of that screaming. I hang up the call, and wait for Audrey too return. Fuck. That. Noise.
OH NOOOOO HE DID NOT JUST HANG UP ON ME!
After a good half an hour, I was busy looking out onto the city. Damn it takes her that long to freshen up? Jesus. But miraculously…she finally came back. And she was all clean.
"Sorry it took me so long…." I look at her.
"It's cool….what took ya?" I ask her.
"…..I …..Wanted to make sure I looked perfect for you." This made me blush like a motherfucker. That actually made me feel special….Wow…..
"Wow…thanks. That's really nice of you Audrey."
"I don't fucking do nice. So just say thank you." Tch. Still a bitter bitch too the end huh?
"Alright…..fair enough." And with that….we resume our holding of the hands….and finish our dinner.
Later on, I took Audrey home, declaring the date as a complete success. And I walk her up too her door...
"So….did you have a good time tonight?" I look at her while she looks up at me. "Yeah…I guess I did. You know how to show a girl a good time I guess. We should…." She then looked away from me as soon as she said "We should", also while giving me a slight blush.
"Do this more often?..." I ask her. She just looks up at me slightly surprised, and then bobs her head down. I've never seen her so flustered in all my life. She is completely out of it right now…..and it's honestly the most adorable thing I've ever seen.
I pat her head and then bring my hand towards her cheek, grasping it….
"Yeah. I think so too. We should do this more often….."
And with that…I slowly lean in….very….Very….VERY slowly. And I close my eyes…..And then she just fucking GOES FOR IT! SHE. SMOOCHES ME! Can someone tell me what the flying, airborne fuck is GOING ON?!