Takes place during the last battle in Ignite me. James and Alice are on base. They bond some.
"Where you going?"
She halted and looked at him over her shoulder. Her gray eyes seeming to consider if it was worth telling him or not.
"To the gym", she said.
"We're supposed to wait here with everyone."
"I'm going to wait in the gym. You can come if you want."
Then she kept walking for the door.
He reluctantly got up. She was the only one he knew there.
The two children walked down the deserted halls of sector 45's base. Alice lead James by the hand. He had never been there, but for Adam's descriptions. Alice knew it inside and out. She was his guide.
"Won't Delalieu get worried?", he asked.
"He's busy", was all she said.
They took the duvet and the pillows from Warner's bed and built a fortress down in the furthest of corner of the gym with the mattresses, blankets and plinths. Alice was sure Aaron wouldn't like it too much that they used his blankets on the sweaty gym things, but she figured he could live with it.
"Do you remember anything from before?", James finally asked.
She was quiet for a moment, and James started thinking she wouldn't answer at all. But then:
"Why do you wanna know?"
"Well, you're from before it happened."
"It?"
"The world going to shit", he clarified.
"Are you allowed to say shit?", she asked him.
A pause.
"No…"
"Me neither…"
Then she smiled at him.
"Technically you are too, you know."
"Not allowed to say shit? I know that…"
"'Before it happened'", she quoted.
"Since you're ten."
"Nooo", he protested, dragging out the syllable.
"You know what it was like way before it happened. Before everything went bad. The weather and that stuff. I've already asked Adam and my teacher, but they can't talk about it without getting sad. You were never here with the sad stuff."
She thought over his proposal.
"Yeah…", she agreed with a nod.
His eyes shined up.
"So what was it like?"
She frowned.
"Like what? Be more specific."
"Is it true that you could travel to other countries just like that? And you had long breaks in the school term?"
She nodded.
"Yeah sure. We went during the vacations. We had a summer vacation, between the terms. Then one for Winter, Christmas and New year's happened during the winter break. Those two were the long ones. Then we had… three which were only one week long."
"When did you have those?"
"One around Halloween, one in February when we were supposed to do sports, and one for Easter."
"That's a lot!", he gawked.
"Yeah, but we have a lot of holidays in spring in Sweden. I remember school was kind of chopped up until graduation."
"Wasn't it during graduation that you disappeared?"
"Yeah, it was…", she said after a pause.
"What is it you don't remember?", he wondered. He wasn't being modest about it, but neither was he being unkind.
"It's… hard to explain", she said after another pause.
"When I first came here I only remembered rough shapes. My name. I was from Sweden. I didn't even think about certain things until someone asked me about it. Like when Aaron asked me about my parents. Before that I hadn't even thought about them! Or that I had a big sister. I don't remember her at all. And now they're…"
She stopped there. And James didn't push her.
"But I'd remember things on my own after a while. Just nothing concrete."
"What do you mean?", James asked.
Alice bit her lower lip and thought for about a minute.
"Have you ever turned your head and gotten the sun in your eyes? And you shut your eyes and look away 'cuz it hurts", she said.
James nodded.
"And it leaves a green mark on your eyes that moves around when you try looking at it. So you can't really look at it straight, but you can still sort of can see what shape it has."
"And after a while it fades", James flicked in.
"Yeah", Alice agreed.
"It's like that. I'd get these flashes, completely uncalled for. And it's so sudden and it hurts, I'm blinded; so I look away. But there's this mark... lingering in my mind. I can't look at it straight, cuz then it moves. But I can make out the shape and it usually comes with a feeling. So when it fades I can remember it, in a way… do you get it?"
James grabbed his chin and got a sophisticated thinking look on his face.
"I think so", he replied.
"Now, what was Halloween like!"
"Halloween isn't a big thing in Sweden", she answered almost immediately.
"Whaaat?!", James asked, dumbfounded.
He yawned. And then Alice yawned; which made them giggle. And then he yawned again and snuggled into the borrowed pillow and blinked to try and stay awake.
"You wanna sleep?", Alice asked, she was just as deeply snuggled into her own pillow. There was a watch in the gym, they could hear it ticking, but neither of them could be bothered to see what the time was. But they knew for certain that it was past their bedtime.
He didn't answer.
"James?", she asked.
His deep blue eyes looked away from her pale blue.
"I don't think I dare…", he whispered.
"I'll have nightmares…"
Alice seemed to evaluate this dilemma for a moment.
"Why do you say that?", Alice asked.
"I… I haven't been sleeping without Adam for really long now and… and... I'm really worried about everyone…", he confessed.
"They promised me they would come back, and I trust them, 'cuz they're the best…! But if I go to sleep I might… I might…"
"You might dream about them…", Alice finished; letting the unfinished sentence hang in the air for a few moments.
"Maybe I can tell you a story instead", she whispered.
"...so you'll only be dreaming about the story instead", she coaxed. Her gray eyes caught a sparkle from the dimmed light in the ceiling. She took a hold of her pillow and scooted closer to him so that their knees were pushing against each other through the duvets.
He didn't protest this idea. Instead he laid there, waiting.
"Imagine a meadow", she whispered.
"And it's going to be covered in grass greener than in the postcards. And there'll be all these water drops in the grass, dew drops, and they sparkle when the wind blows. And there's going to be flowers growing everywhere. All kinds of flowers. But only nice flowers. No poison ivy or thistles that prickles your feet. There'll be daisies and sunflowers… and buttercups and clover and dandelions. Do you know know dandelions?"
He shook his head no.
"At first they're yellow, but after a few days they turn white and have these tiny parasols that sail off with the wind to spread the seeds. You can blow on them yourself, then you get to make a wish! And the ground is going to be completely clean of glass and barbed wire, cuz you found the meadow and you're the first one ever to be there. So you can run around barefoot if you'd like."
His eyes widened.
"I've never done that…", he whispered.
"What's it like?"
She smiled, and had to take a moment to come up with a description.
"It's going to tickle, between your toes...", she said and her toes curled and uncurled underneath the cover as she tried remembering.
"And your feet will get wet from all the dew. But it's the softest thing you'll ever stand on. And you'll smell the dirt and grass a whole different way."
"Different how?"
"It's going to be… spicier", she decided.
He frowned. Clearly not appeased. She stuck her tongue in the corner of her mouth and gave it another shot.
"You know those chocolate bars from the food center?", she asked.
He nodded after some thought.
"I've had them twice", he said.
"It's like comparing those to the chocolate pudding you get here", Alice said.
It seems to give him some sort of perspective.
"You can run around on your meadow all night, and when you wake up…", she said,"...the fighting will be all finished and we'll go meet up with everyone."
"And I'll be here with you until then, so don't worry about nightmares", she said.
He was quiet for a bit.
"Can I hold your hand until I fall asleep?", he wondered.
"Sure", she said.
Then she shuffled around a little and she snuck her hand out from the duvet and took his hand in hers.
She noticed that his hand was a little smaller than hers. More delicate in a way.
And for the first time she realized she was the older one between them. It made her feel like she had responsibilities.
Was this what Delalieu felt when he held her hand?, she wondered. She missed him in that moment, but figured it wasn't a good idea to leave James to go look for him. And he probably wouldn't have time for her anyway.
"Alright?", she said and squeezed his hand.
He nodded and squeezed her back.
"Alright."
Then he buried himself further into the mattress. His eyes were enough to tell her what to do.
"They'll be butterflies living on your meadow. Yellow ones, orange, brown, white, purple. The whole rainbow! And they're so friendly to humans that they flutter up to you and can land on your hands. And on your nose..."