Hey Guys! It's been awhile I know, I'm REALLY sorry I haven't updated this fanfiction in awhile! But recently I've been doing some thinking about my entire life, and digging deep about who I am as a person. I've discovered that I can't be lazy and expect anything to get better for me, so I've abandoned laziness and have decided to get serious about updating Huniepop, and my other fanfictions as well as my personal fictions.
So I have a schedule now, I'll be updating Awesome Bringers Okami Adventures Once a week, And Huniepop: A Romantic Comedy Anime TWICE a week, EVERY. SINGLE. WEEK. This I SWEAR to you my loyal watchers!
And guys…..I REALLY have to thank you! Over 5,000 VIEWS?! I don't even update this fiction and it's a massive hit! That shows me what you guys want from me; even though I don't have a huge fanbase, you people really seem to like this fiction. So here's a little Christmas gift from Kyanna & Trey! Happy Holidays!
Disclaimer: All of the songs used in this fiction are for the purpose of parody and are respectively owned by the original songwriters. Reader Discretion is advised, it gets kind of dirty.
It's Christmas time, and as the air was thick with a plate of snow in the midst of a local cul-de-sac in the projects, awash with Christmas decorations, blinking light shows, sleigh bells, Santa floats, festive garland and boughs a'holly.
The neighborhood was washed with intense joy as the spirit of Christmas was alive, where was this local town so jolly? Why none other than Dawnwood of course. And no one was happier about the Christmas season than that of Kyanna Del Rio. Her local apartment building felt the Christmas spirit all around, as we head back to her place for a little Christmas magic! For it was the night before Christmas….and ALLLLLLL through the house. Not a creature was stirring… not even a-record scratch-
Ok my turn! Hey everyone, bet you missed this sexy fairy didn't ya?! Well I' m required to speak in rhyme for the next few sentences, so I'll say this. I missed you! It's good to be back! And I promise no more leaving you high & dry and not calling back. WHOOO sexual innuendos all day! C'mon you know I had to make one eventually. Anyways…. *clears Throat*
Twas the night before Christmas
And all through the house
One sexy ass chica
Walked around in a red blouse
She tied it up with a bowtie
Around her lovely waist
And even put red lipstick on her gorgeous face
She tried to get everything ready
Being ever so meticulous
For her boyfriend was coming over
To say something completely ridiculous….
So she put on her reindeer ears
And a golden bell on her neck
And cleaned the entire place
So everything would be in check
She swept up the hallways and vacuumed the floors
She spruced up her kitchen
And dusted her drawers
She was super excited! Her first Christmas together
With the person she knew she'd be with forever
Also three little elves that came out of her man's dick
She made the place come alive with the spirit of ol'
Just for the kids! What could go wrong?
There was a knock at the door. "Hey! Yo it's Me Kiki!" It was Trey Davidson! Kyanna's loving boyfriend! And you know what that means?
"Oh he's here! Daequan go upstairs and get daddy's present!" Kyanna instructed her 4 year old son." I'm taking over as narrator thank you very much Kyu. Anyways….
Fuck you and your boring commentary! This is my time
I didn't even get to finish my goddamn rhy-
Yeah no one cares. Anyways, Kyanna Delrio celebrated the spirit of Christmas with her new family in a formidable togetherness by wearing a red Christmas blouse with a black bow tying it together around her waist. She also had black stockings and red Christmas shoes on with a red & gold hair bow in her hair.
She was incredibly happy to be able to celebrate such a holiday with her family, as she went to the door and opened it, Trey was standing right there, but it stormed inside her place! "Aah! Trey come on in! Hahah! Don't let the blizzard in here!" Kyanna said, as the storm outside blew hard inside of her apartment.
Trey rushed inside very quickly and shut the door closed as fast as he could, not wanting to deal with the terrors of a blizzard outside. He shivered and sunk on the wall, as his glasses contracted frost, as well as his green coat and red & green scarf. Shivering he said "Yo….niggaz don't l-l-like…t-t-the…..c-c-cold….That's the only part I hate about Christmas…..THE FUCKIN' COLD DAWG!" He said while whining slightly.
Kyanna loomed over him with her breasts hanging slightly down. "Hey now mister. That's no way to talk on Christmas eve! C'mon and get up. I know how to make you warmer." She said back to him with a bright smile following afterwards.
Trey stood up on his feet and dusted the snow and frost off of him with his Jet Black Leather gloves and said "Oh really? How?" Kyanna then responded by kissing his cheek sweetly. This made him light up just like a Christmas tree!
Trey rubbed his cheek and blushed, "Ok Ok girl. That's one way." Trey then took off his coat and hung it up, putting on his trademark Fedora hat and wiping the frost off his glasses. "Hey Sweetheart. Merry Christmas!" Kyanna ran into Trey's arms and the two shared a sweet hug. As Trey held Kyanna in his arms, she pointed up.
Trey looked up above, and then saw a mistletoe was there. "Awwwww you sneaky shawty. I see you. Shoulda known you'd do some sneaky shit like that." Trey said in a playful way. Kyanna then giggled and wrapped her arms around Trey's neck, giving him a passionate kiss underneath the mistletoe.
"Daddy!" Daequan had come downstairs with a green present in hand for his father. "Eyyyy! Dae Dae! What's good? Has Santa's little helper been a good boy this year?" Trey asked his son, playfully.
As if he actually believes in Santa.
Kyu shut up. Anyways, Daequan held up a present for Trey, and then Trey took it from him gently, pleasantly surprised at the fact that Daequan would give him a present this year. "Santa's got yo' presents, but you won't see them until the morning. So why don't you leave mommy & daddy alone for a bit and go in the kitchen? I'll call you back once we're done talking alright?" Trey says to his son.
"Ok Daddy! Merry Christmas!" Daequan says with youthful innocence. He then hugs his father tightly, and then goes upstairs.
Kyanna just giggles and says "You've been such an ideal father to him, I think this Christmas just might be a celebration of just you being around him so much. He's constantly asking me what you got him for Christmas." She says while looking at Trey.
"I got him something very special this Christmas. In reality, I just wanted to be together with my new fam." Trey then wrapped his arm around Kyanna's waist. "I love all of you guys, and if I ain't spendin' Christmas with my girl, I'm not celebratin' Christmas at all." Kyanna then put her hand on his chest and giggled. "But babe, you come around like all the time. Daequan also lives with you, but he wanted to see Mommy this year. That's why he's constantly asking me what daddy got him for Christmas. I'm just happy we're all together." She says, sounding ever so blissful.
"Well….Christmas time is a time of joy and togetherness. More so than any other time in our lives. So let's celebrate that togetherness with-" Trey's conversation was interrupted by Daequan, who came back out from the kitchen with Christmas cookies on his plat- AHHHH! MMMPPHMMHMHMHMMMMHHHMMMM!
Ha! Fairy magic for the win. Oh don't worry folks. I just covered him in a vat of snow. Maybe if I put a hat, a carrot nose, a scarf and a few grapes on him, he could become the new frosty. Imagine that? *insert devious Grinch smile here* Anyways! Let's get back to the rhyming.
With a plate of Christmas cookies
From the kitchen Daequan came
With his adorable childish laugh
And a name that puts Rudolph to shame
He said "Daddy, look! Christmas cookies! We made them today."
"You better leave those cookies out for santa on Christmas day."
He must be joking right? That has to be some kind of Joke
"Hey I got an idea. How about this? Where's my extra piano? Is it still broke?"
Oh god…..
"Actually it's right there, right behind the Christmas tree."
The big-breasted chica said, while giggling with glee.
So the hipster made his way to the piano,
Donned with gay apparel
It looked like he was set to sing a Christmas carol
"C'mon little man. Sit on santa's lap."
Oh so that's what he meant when he said that…..
People that are reading this, don't look at me.
You're the ones thinking what you're thinking, I plead not guilty.
Daequan climbed on his father's lap
With his Heart all aglow
And Kyanna sat right next to him,
Looks like he's about to put on a show
And remember what I said before? About "What could go wrong?"
"Christmas time is family time, so let's give them a lil' somethin' to get them through the holidays." Trey said while looking at Kyanna.
"Liiiiiiike a Christmas card?" She said while looking back at him.
"Somethin' like that…..it goes like this." Trey began playing the piano in the key of This Christmas by Donny Hathaway….. "Sing Kyanna baby, Sing!"
OH god he's gonna do a Parody of a Christmas song.
Kyanna cleared her throat and then began to sing a slower version of the song with a jazzy kind of tone similar to that of an R & B singer…. "Hang all the mistletoe…..I'm gonna get to know you better…. THIS Christmas. And as we trim the tree…..How much fun it's gonna be together…..THIS Christmas….."
Daequan hopped onto his stepmother's lap and cuddled into her arms, as Kyanna smiled down on him. "The fire side is blazing briiiiight….. We're Caroling! Through the NIIII-IIIGHT! And This Christmaaaaass…We'll beeeee…a VERY special….Christmas….. For me…Pick it up Trey!" Trey picked up his piano playing and the song started over in a newer tone that was severly- OWCH! KYU!
Drenched him in presents. I thought he'd love it! Let's get this Yuletide Carol started!
Trey: Sleigh bells are ringing, There's an angel singing, these blisters on my skin in the cold air are stinging. The snow? It's a no go, I wouldn't fuck with it though, can't go out there when the blizzards roaring so bad it makes your clothes go, flying off faster than misty's Panties.
Misty(Jessie): I heard that handsome.
Trey: Sorry I got a girlfriend with a much bigger fanny, fruitcake on point, Mixmaster in this joint, let's take for a ride in this Christmas rap yuletide!
Kyanna: Presents and cards are here!
Kyu: You should be filled with fear, once he coooooomes, THIS Christmas. Santa comes in your house, with intentions to stalk.
Trey: OH BE QUIET! YOU'RE ONE TO TALK!
Kyanna: Babe who are you talking to? THIS Christmas. The fireside so blazing briiiiight….
Kyu: He'll be getting egg nog, from his future Wiiiii-iiife. –snickers-
Trey: KYU!
Kyanna: And this Christmas! Will beeee, a very special Christmas! For meeee. YAY!
Kyu:-shaking bells while dressed as an elf- How'd I go from a fairy to an elf?! I hate these big ass pointy ears! They could totally poke someone's eye out. I want to be a reindeer for Christmas! I mean they are just the cutest! –she turns into a sexy Rudolph- There we go!
Trey: Hey wait, don't do us like that Kyu!
Kyanna: Babe who are you talking too?
Kyu: WAIT! I have an even better idea for a Christmas parody! –snaps fingers, and the magic begins to happen as the song changes to "It's the most wonderful time of the year", Kyu puts on a lovely but scantily-clad Christmas dress complete with a hat- It's the MOST wonderful tiiiiiiime of the year!
*DING DONG! DING DONG!*
Kyu: With all breasts in-bouncing, ugly sweaters denouncing the cold from their REARS! It's the most…wonderful time! Of the YEAR!
Trey: Wait what? HEY I was playing the piano wait a second-
Kyu:-is playing the piano somehow- It's the HAP-HAPPIEST seaaaaa-son of ALL! Mega-Bitches wearing red, shopping sprees causing dread on black Friday at the MAAAAAALL!
Audrey: I will smack a bitch to get to that sale just fucking try me!
Kyu: It's the Hap-Happiest season of ALL! Horny teachers masturbating and nerds still degrading her by looking at photos on their wall!
Aiko:-shivers- Don't remind me…..
Kyu: And children breastfeeding, and vaginas bleeding-
Kyanna: Wait who said that?!
Kyu: It doesn't just happen in the FAAAAAAALL! It's the most wonderful tiiiiime of the yeaaaaarrr!
*DING DONG! DING DONG DONG!*
Kyu: Frat boys will get stoned, Party hard then go home and say "How did I get here?", it's the MOST, Wonderful time OF THE YEAR!
Chorus: They'll be girls all a-plenty, all different, so many, some sweet just like chocolate you know?
Lola: Oh they know.
Kyu: They'll be dicks telling stories, of how in the glories, they slammed that hot chick from back Home! Even though they're totally lying out of their hairy ass. –winks- It's the MOST! WONDERFUL TIME OF THE YEAR! They'll be hearts all a glowing, and dicks up for blowing once your lover's NEEAAAARR!
Trey: KYU STOP! That's way too inappropriate.
Kyanna: Seriously babe who are you talking too?
Trey: No one never mind. We need one more sendoff…..Just to finish this Christmas card off.
Kyanna: …..How about this? –clears throat- I don't want a lot for Christmas…..there is just one thing I need…
Kyu: That ultra-sweaty pair of panties that your girl had used last week? OW! –Trey had thrown a snowball at her head-
Kyanna: I just want you for my own. MORE than you could ever know…..Make my wish come TRUUUE….All I want for Christmas….. Is YOOOOOOUUUUUU….
*Jingle Bells start ringing*
Trey: Alright girls one more time! WITH that Christmas Spirit!
Kyanna: I don't want a lot for Christmas, There is just one thing I need!
Audrey: Someone to buy me tons of free shit, and then put it right under my tree!
Tiffany: I've been a good girl, so listen baby, I want a present for my good grades!
Aiko: Someone to dominate me or you, you call me master and I'll call you slave.
All 4 of them: I just want you for my own! More than you could ever know, make my wish come true! All I want for Christmas is YOOOOOOOOUUU! YOOOOOO-HOOOO BABY!
Beli: I would like a peaceful Christmas, There's not much that I require…. AAHAHA!
Jessie:-grabs her breasts from behind- Just a little bit of your skin on my skin, think we can cuddle up by the fire?
Lola: I just made a list and sent it, Up to the North Pole for St. Nick!
Nikki: I'll need someone to stay here with me, so I can troll online COD-tards just to see them act like pricks.
All Girls: Cause I just want you here tonight! Lovin' me down it feels so right. What more can I do? BABY All I want for Christmaaaaas is YOU!
Kyu: I'll take it from here girls…. Oh my! All these lovely ladies! Bringing Joy to men everywhere! And all this bump and grind! MAN it's so unfair….While I'm just sitting here ducking….everyone else is FUCKING! Come on little drummer boy, get it up for me!
Trey: Girl you better realize that dis dick ain't FREE!
Kyu: Oh I don't want a lot for christmas! This is all I'm askin' for! I just wanna get down to business! Now shut and get over here you sexy little who-
Trey:-slaps a piece of tape on her mouth-
All Girls: OH! I just want you for my own, MORE than you could ever know! Make my wish come truuuuueee! BABY All I want for Christmaaaaaaas….IIIIS!...
Trey: Bring it home girls!
All Girls: YOOOOOOOOOOOOU! YOOOOOU BABY!
Trey:-plays them out,then stops- *Phew*
"Well that was fun right Kyanna?" Kyanna just stared at the camera, then looked at Trey like she had seen a ghost. "What the hell just happened?" She asked him, genuinely freaked out.
This caused a beat of sweat to drop down Trey's forehead. "Nuthin' Kiki, let's just have the camera fade out and cut to us making gingerbread houses." And so they end up in the kitchen making gingerbread houses! Just….like they said they would.
Well I hope you've enjoyed this holiday hunie
We hope you felt joy, and thought it was funny
And before I fly away, just hear my christmas plight
Merry Christmas to all! And to all dudes, go out and get some tonight!
I promise I'll update this as much as I can from now on. I hope you guys enjoyed that, It was a lot of improvisation in a short amount of time. And once again thank you SO much for the views!