Day 6: Part 1

Tanya's Demise

The next morning, Tanya was in a shit mood.

Yes, okay, the ride back from the dungeon last night had been awkward, but it was Tanya's fucking fault. She had insisted on squeezing herself into the front seat, even after Jasper had shot her more than one derisive look. But after all that fuss, and when she was finally up there next to the king, she had curled herself away from his body and pressed herself against the car door. The further we went towards the house, the quieter she got, until Jasper kept stealing confused glances at her. I found the whole thing fascinating and since I lacked any apparent tact, I had asked her about it the second she and I were alone. She had burst into tears and ran towards her bedroom.

I spent the whole night thinking Jasper might kill me in my sleep.

Currently, Tanya was in the kitchen clanging around pots and pans, opening drawers and shutting them much too intensely, and just over-all being loud and obnoxious. I spent a few minutes standing in the threshold between the kitchen and the living room, watching the different parts of her body jiggle and shake as she made jerky movements around the kitchen. Every few moments, she'd stop what she was doing and give a little discontented sigh before starting up again.

What I had meant to say to her was something along the lines of, "Hey, sorry you're in a weird mood, but I'm mighty hungry and would you mind so much as to make me a little food?"

Instead, what I said was, "I'm hungry."

She slammed a utensils drawer and, without turning to me, said, "There's leftovers in the fridge. I'm sure you know where the microwave is."

I paused. "Is this like, a test or something?"

"What?"

"A test? Like, Bella knows the House Rules but let's see if we can trick her in to breaking them. Because, you know, that wouldn't be very nice."

Tanya sighed and turned to me.

"No, Bella, it's not a test."

"Right. So what's the problem?"

She sneered. "There's no problem."

"Clearly, there is."

"There's no fucking problem, Bella!" Tanya cried. "Jesus, if you want some fucking food, I'll make you some fucking food!"

But she didn't move. Instead, she crossed her arms in front of her chest and stared at me. I stared back.

"Tanya," I said. "What's wrong?"

I wasn't sure what I was expecting her to say. Probably something I had done last night that pissed her off. Perhaps Jasper had let it slip that I'd pressed my ass into his groin in a feeble attempt to get him to feel me up last night. Perhaps one of the snide remarks I'd made about Tanya over the past few days had wormed their way from Jasper's brain to this mouth and he had ratted me out to the blonde bimbo. Maybe my devil-may-care sickly sweet sarcasm had finally grated on her until she found it necessary to stomp around and pout like a two-year-old about it.

She pressed her lips together and kept staring at me.

"Is it about the food?" I asked. "Because, you know, it's your house and if you want me to reheat something. . . ."

She shook her head.

"Is it about me starting the shower for myself this morning? I'm sorry, but I forgot to get you."

She shook her head again.

"Did you misplace dinner?" Shake. "Are you dying of some incurable disease?" Shake. "Are you really part of a Cobra Strike Team and your next assignment is to take out Jasper?" Shake.

Then she frowned. The frown, that delicate gesture that just barely turned the edges of her lips downward, reminded me of last night. In my mind's eye, I could see Tanya curled up on Jasper's lap after he had whipped her. He had been petting her hair and she had been smiling stupidly, but then he'd said something – something I hadn't heard – and she had looked at me with that same delicate frown.

I raised my chin. "It's about last night. At the club. Jasper said something to you."

She closed her eyes slowly and lowered her head. A half-nod.

I contemplated this for a moment. And it was then that I'd made the decision that would further impact the rest of my life as a sub, though I couldn't have possibly known it then. I had been confused by Jasper's sudden, more physical attention last night; the close contact both in the stairwell of the club and the way he'd casually pressed the entire length of his torso against my back while cautioning me about the creepy dude at the bar. The way I'd sworn I could smell his scent the entire night, despite the heavy cigarette smoke and the smell that comes with dozens of bodies crammed into a space not suitable to hold them all.

"It's about me, isn't it?" I asked.

Tanya nodded her head but before I could further ask her anything, she began to shake it viciously.

"Don't Bella, I can't. I can't say anymore."

And then she burst into tears and the sound made me want to scratch my eyeballs out.

"Jesus, Tanya, don't cry."

I had cased the house as stealthily as I could this morning (and, by a non-coincidence, had stumbled in the east wing corridor and broken a vase, the remnants of which were now in a tidy pile behind the pedestal it had rested on), trying to figure out whether Jasper was home. I hadn't found him, but the sound of Tanya bawling, her wide eyes mashed up into two mismatched slits, still made me nervous.

"Is Jasper home?"

She wailed harder.

"Fuck, Tanya, stop it. Jasper's going to kick my ass if he found out I made his sub cry."

That stopped her. She puffed out her chest and frowned again, but this time the expression was ugly. There was nothing delicate or soft about the narrowing of her eyes or the tightened line of her lips. She looked like the perfect caricature of herself

"It's your fucking fault!" she spat. She took a step towards me and I took one back. She raised her hand, her fingered cramped together around her palm in a way that made her entire hand white, and shook it at me. "Who the fuckare you? Where did you come from? How dare you take a step inside the house that belongs to me – " She slammed both of her palms against her chest, the gesture sending a cascade of jiggling flesh down to her thighs. "- and take my Dom away from me?"

My lips parted and I heard the wet suctioning of my mouth as it separated. "What?" I asked. "Tanya, what the fuck are you talking about? I don't want to be Jasper's sub. I don't want to be anybody's sub right now, I just want to get over these fucking panic attacks! Have I given you any indication that I want to steal Jasper from you?"

She shook her head, not as an answer to my question, but out of a frustration. "That doesn't matter."

"What? What do you mean that doesn't matter? Of course it matters, you idiot. If I don't want to be Jasper's sub, then Jasper doesn't get me as a sub." I clicked my tongue. "And, just so you know, I find Jasper really creepy. And, since we're both being assholes, I am embarrassed for you."

She snapped her eyes to me without moving her head. "Embarrassed?"

I smiled. "You know that time when I was over and disappeared during the night, only to return yesterday?" She nodded hesitantly. "Do you know why I left?"

I didn't know where the viciousness and spitefulness was coming from. A part of me, albeit an impossibly small part, felt nauseated by the very idea of how absolutely and inexplicably cruel I was being. And worse, that this was only the beginning of what would ultimately destroy Tanya. But the steady pounding of my heart in my chest and this awful, wicked grin I couldn't manage to shake let me know it was right. This was good. This, this burning need to break Tanya, was going to better my stay here. But the reason eluded me.

"I left," I said, drawing the sentence out, "because I caught you two fucking."

Her lips tightened further.

"And when I saw you, Jasper saw me." I lowered my voice. "And he let me watch until he came."

I watched her face. First, it went blank and the muscles in her clenched jaw loosened and then went slack. Then her eyes darted to the left of my face and then the ground and then back to me. I felt my ears pull back as I smiled further. I felt disgusting, deplorable, like an abhorrent replica of myself.

Then Tanya shrieked. She griped her hair at its base and pulled tightly on the strands. The movement reminded me of Edward and before my body was able to register the nausea, I bent over and vomited on the floor.

"You stupid bitch," Tanya snapped. To my surprise, however, she didn't rush at me and punch me in my fucking face like any other self-respecting person would have. Instead, she hovered over my bent form until the shadow of her head perfectly encased the bile on the floor. "Master will be thrilled to hear this, I'm sure."

And then, with the rage of a thousand women behind her, tens of thousands, hundreds of thousand, of scorned past lovers and past lives. The rage of the inexcusable missteps perpetrated against these women and the unyielding realization that only comes when the inevitable finally occurs, Tanya spoke the words that would end her.

"And to think, Jasper wanted to make you his sub."