I'm not gonna lie, initially I wasn't going to post the alternate ending but I had some encouragement and a little extra time. Plus everyone has been so supportive of this fic that I though I'd give everyone a more optimistic ending. I mean IRL we've already got a real pandemic so...let's lighten the mood a bit. That said, I'd love some feedback; I've tend to do alt. endings on a lot of my major chapter fics. I don't see many others doing this so I wanted to ask if this is something people like or if generally people prefer an author picking one ending and sticking with it?
HammerTide: Yeah, I figured that this ending might receive mixed reactions. I kind of felt as though this fic just never really had an optimistic, it'll work out vibe, so I went through with it. But At the same time I understand why that would upset or disappoint readers hence the alternate ending. And you're welcome. Though Ursa doesn't make an appearance, I hope that this ending will hold more appeal. :)
CeCeHigganbotham: Thanks so much! As said above, everyone has been so awesome that I wanted to treat everyone to a happier ending. "I love that Li was with Azula to the last, Azula had a glimpse and knowledge of someone who loved her unconditionally." That's something she really needed and really valued. It kep her going. "I wonder if Zuko realized he showed her a great mercy in killing her though his reasons were for protecting those inside." It might not have been very clear but he ordered her death both to protect the inside and as a mercy killing.
Kaktus Kaktus: I did have one planned but I'm not a big fan of deus ex machinas; if the heroes can't reasonably solve a problem I don't like forcing a solution. That's where this alt. chapter comes in; to deliver that satisfying lighter ending while not sacrificing my original plan, if that makes sense. This one was supposed to be grim through and through lol. But I'm really indecisive and I tend to take the 'why not both, both is good' approach lmao. Thanks for supporting this fic!
C0rrupt3dSpy: Thanks, realism is what I was going for with this one. So I felt like them not surviving was just more possible.
gemsofformenos: "In a world like you've created here isn't much space for compassion." Yeah the world of this one was a cold one. I just really couldn't reasonably see it having a happy outcome. Well...I guess I could because this chapter exists lol. But I wanted to stick to my guns in posting the first ending. "And it was still perfect in such a tragic way. A closure, an end from her torture, the mercy of a quick death instead of a slow and painful one." At that point, that was almost what was best for her in some way. Instead of having to suffer through the sickness. "Somehow she has finally reached a save place in the end and she was finally able to save someone. Her plan has worked in the end." It worked, just not as well as she had hoped. But she was able to help Zirin. "But the questuon is for how long since your last lines shows that the parasite might survive at the North now." Glad that you caught that lol. "But it also shows how this nightmare has changed Zuko. He has adapt as well, he was much colder and harder than he was before." It hardened and toughened him up for sure. "You've created a great story, so dark, so hopeless, a dying world and a horrible ride for Azula." Thank you, thank you! Dark and dreary was the goal. You're welcome and I hope you like this last little bonus.
Aurelia le: And since your review is very long I'll reply via PM when I get a chance lol. But thanks for such a lengthy review! And thanks for being one of the main people who motivated me to type a little extra something. I don't have time for a full-blown epilogue, but I hope that this alleviates some of the sad vibes lol.
The gates loom frigid before her. She is so close to sanctuary and yet she can't imagine ever truly making it there. Can't imagine them allowing someone so considerably decayed into their sanctum. She scans the faces of the guards atop the icy wall. They peer down at her coldly, skeptically, ready to cut down anything that could do harm to those beyond the wall of ice.
"We're survivors seeking sanctuary and warmth!" Zirin calls up to them. "Warmth would be great too."
Azula's heart aches with yearning and desperation at the mention of a kind hearth to sit before. The men look between themselves and Azula exchanges a glance with Li who squeezes her hand. Li, she imagines, looks just as dismal as she. Azula is already resigned to her fate...to their fate.
"Search them for infection!" The head guard declares, his voice booms over the howling wind. Li squeezes Azula's hand with more force. The guards have, without a doubt, noticed the distance Zirin and Ozai keep, "which of you are the healthy ones?"
Azula wishes that he would have at least hesitated, but Ozai unflinchingly points at her and Li. The self-serving bastard; and after all she had gone through to get to him too. She practically traded off her entire group for the louse.
"Inspect them." Says one guard as another demands that Ozai and Zirin strip.
Ozai bunches his face in disgust. Almost as much revulsion as he had displayed at the sight of her marred face. "A Fire Lord doesn't strip before peasants."
"But a refugee does." The second guard replies, giving Azula some sense of satisfaction. "Strip or get back on your boat."
She still has the decency to turn as her father drops his robes. She waits a few minutes after the man calls, "clear" to turn back around. "Put them in the quarantine quarters until we are certain that they won't develop symptoms."
The gates open and Ozai and Zirin are beckoned inside.
"Father…" it is all Azula can manage, one final desperate test to see if she is worth anything at all. He has the generous sense to look back, but no more than that.
A normal person might cry, she feels as though she might, but the tears don't come, replaced insead by a feeling of numbness and nothing but a solemn acceptance. She still has the dignity to hold her head high. The only warmth in her body and soul radiates from the infection.
She watches her father disappear into the safe-haven. She wonders how long he will last; how long they will tolerate his intolerance and malicious intent.
Flurries throw themselves violently at her as she stares at the wall. At the glorious sanctuary that she can't enter. Even if they let her in, she likes to think that she has too much honor to bring a plague to the last cluster of humanity.
"We're alone…" she trails off.
Li nods. "I told you that I would accompany you until my last breath, princess."
Just before she pulls her eyes away from the wall, she sees him. Her heart falters. He looks at her with pity and...regret? For a moment, she thinks that he is going to plead with them to let her in. To give her a chance. But he doesn't know that she isn't contagious-she has a thought; a bitter acknowledgement that the cold might be enough to kill the parasites. That with time, the patches of rot might heal.
She opens her mouth to try to convince him of this.
He is not paying attention to her, other than a nod in her direction.
She holds her breath and waits.
His attention is fully on her again, his face grim.
"I'm sorry that I left you there." Zuko calls down.
Once again she opens her mouth to speak. She doesn't have the chance before one of the guards lifts his arms, dragging with them a large spike of ice. Azula's vision goes hazy, she hears Li's body thud next to her and she cringes to herself. They have taken Li from her too, not that she is far behind.
She looks up at Zuko in shock more than anything else. He winces and mouths something akin to, "she's not dead yet." And to her directly he says, "I'm sorry."
The first guard readies his bow. "Wait!" Zuko says suddenly. Azula's breath hitches, her abdomen screams out in searing pain. "She's not like the rest of them. She's...lucid. She's not possessed."
"She's rotting." The guard counters.
"The parasites don't do well in the cold.: Azula speaks for herself. "They can't spread and reproduce, the conditions won't allow for it." She isn't exactly faithful in her declaration, but she can feel it in her core...in her soul that the parasites are anxious. She can't imagine that they would be if they were safe.
"We're not risking humanity's last chance for one girl. A Fire Nation wench at that." The first guard says. "The princess herself, no less." Says the other.
"I ...I can fix this." She vows through pain-gritted teeth. It is a stretch even as far as her lies go. She sucks in a deep breath before revealing the truth. She supposes that she has nothing left to lose now. "I can...I can communicate with them." That isn't strictly true in a literal sense. "They couldn't take me over but I might be able to take them over. Infiltrate the hive just like I took Ba Sing Se."S\ She sighs, her strength is waning quickly.
The guards glance between themselves. "I'm an anomaly and your best chance." She reiterates as her body succumbs to fatigue.
.oOo.
She wakes to extraordinary cold. Her body shakes and trembles, her skin red and numb. She sniffles and wraps her arms around herself, unable to work up enough body heat to firebend. Her breath comes out in visible vapors.
So they are trying to freeze the infection out.
But she needs the parasites alive.
She needs herself alive and without frostbite.
Li shivers next to her, apparently tended to by a team of expert healers. "We made it." She whispers more to herself than Azula. They aren't in the clear yet.
Azula holds her hand to her throbbing abdomen and hunches over in pain. The door opening has her bolting erect once more. "Lion seal." Zuko says before setting a tray in front of her.
Azula sneers, "careful Zuzu, you might get infected."
"You've been traveling with father, we just let him out of quarantine. If he and Zirin can be on a boat with you two for weeks and come out healthy…" He lets her fill in the rest. "You're in the cooler to keep the decay from spreading."
Slowing the rot is reasonable enough. But she resents him for trapping her again. She picks at her food; at least this time she will have company and her basic needs met. "You need to get me...us…" she gestures to Li, "out of here. If I'm going to use these parasites against the hive, I need them alive. It just needs to be cold enough to keep me from…" she motions to her chest and cheek.
"I'll see what I can do…"
"You left me chained up to die, you owe me this." Another stretch considering all she has put him through.
Zuko cringes, "they made me leave."
Azula scoffs, "you are...were the Firelord, You were in charge, not them."
"I'm not going to last much longer in here." Li interrupts.
Her glare must be rather potent for Zuko beckons her out. She helps Li to her feet. "If you can't do the talking, let me." She says. Zuko nods in agreement. "And watch father, he's more of an opportunist than I am." She cautions. "I can't have him getting in my way. I shouldn't have wasted my time on him."
"I'll let the council know." Zuko replies. He leads them down a series of gloittering whitehalls; faintly she wishes that she had time to take it all in and appreciate the beauty of such foreign architecture. Azula bites her lip. Since she got to the Tribes, the infection hasn't spread. She looks at her chest-she thinks that it looks a little less raw and angry. It certainly isn't oozing. Maybe with some waterbending it will heal and scar over.
She doesn't want to get her hopes up, that hasn't gone well in the paste.
"I'll introduce you to the rest of the survivors." Zuko makes small talk. "You already know Aang and his friends. And Mai. We aren't sure if Suki and Toph made it. We have no contact with the Earth Kingdom." Azula drinks in the information. Mai. Perhaps in light of things, they can make amends.
That is if Azula survives.
Zuko opens a door and with it comes sunlight and a light flurry.
" A parka would be wonderful." Azula comments.
"I'll have them get one for both of you." Zuko promises.
They cross over a bridge, suspended over a frozen lake. Really it is a marvel, a clean and crystalline surface with a glittering dust like powdered diamond. The arcs and curves of the bridge are impressive in structure and make. It is of a culture entirely new to her.
Again, Azula is teeming with longing. The desire to be able to appreciate it in full. She turns to Li who gives her a toothless and reassuring smile. Azula bites her lip again and touches her fingers to her bandaged cheek; it doesn't burn quite as ferociously.
The parasites within are still and subdued.
She thinks-dares to hope-that she will be able to finally take in the sights one day.
Probably not soon.
But one day.
One day when the world is right again.