It was a snowy day in tachanka valley, the tachankas in tachanka valley who were not tachankas but rather tachankas in tachanka valley which is different from tachankas in not tachanka valley were being buried under an avalanche as they fought in the harrowing glazalayas, shooting rook after rook as their hands began to freeze over. However one tachanka had a dream. This tachanka was very ambitious and was trying to infiltrate the rook fashion design chain to steal their fashionable t-shirts. As he watched the mountains, watching his comrades fight for the glaz army and themselves, he knew this was his opportunity. However he knew he had to be cautious. Just yesterday 3 tachankas had fallen to the snow storm ripping through the glazalayas! It was even suggested that the snow storm may come to ravage tachanka valley too! Tachanka knows what would happen if this were to occur. For this tachankas fought, and for this tachanka, it would change his life.
As the tachanka made his way through the glazalayas, he never looked back. It had been 3 months since the war started. It was now September 15, 1920. He had to end the war as soon as possible!
And so the tachanka ran. He ran until his legs broke under the harsh conditions of the glazalayas. But it was ok, because he had made it to the rook fashion design chain. Now all he had to do was wait...
1 day later
It was a snowy day in tachanka valley, the tachankas in tachanka valley who were not tachankas but rather tachankas in tachanka valley which is different from tachankas in not tachanka valley were still fighting their battle, as well as the one tachanka fighting a different one. Tachanka woke up, he checked his watch, it was time to attack. It is a little known fact that rooks sleep in very late, but one that tachanka knew. He had once had a friend who was a rook. After the war started tachanka hasn't seen him, but knows if he ever does, they will be fighting on different sides. Tachanka eats his pierogi as he rappels up the rook fashion design chain base. As he makes it up to the top and prepares himself to break the hatch, he hears a sound in the distance, it was an impact grenade! Tachanka using his epic reflexes quickly jumped out of the way as the impact grenade explodes, taking the hatch down with it unintentionally. Tachanka takes this escape route while thanking his lord the almighty Tachanka for this divine series of events. Inside he sees rooks all around him. They are not awake yet, tachanka thought. It was his time to take the armor! Without the armor the rook fashion design chain loses morale and slowly die out due to the combination of unfashionableness and pure despair. He runs into the storage room. This is where they keep their legendary t-shirts. Tachanka slowly walks towards the t-shirts. However as soon as he tries to take them, he hears the sound of another impact grenade! Knowing that the t-shirts would be destroyed, tachanka takes the impact grenade to the back and retreats with them, but he is shot at by our mysterious rook. Tachanka turns around to attempt to counter fire but freezes when he sees the face of his friend staring back at him. In this moment tachanka knew what he had to do. He takes his turret out while avoiding rooks bullets like a true gamer, and then shoots him in the head with one bullet. However, the rooks have woken up, and they don't seem too happy.
To be continued on the next episode of, TACHANKAS IN TACHANKA VALLEY!11!11!1