And so begins a new chapter within Huniepop – A Romantic Comedy Anime. Thanks once again for sticking it out with me as I continue to write this thing. Before the chapter begins, I'm going to announce that I will try to stick to a schedule of 3 chapters over the weekends, Fridays, Saturdays, and Sundays. So you'll know what to expect from now on.
Anyways, time for a new perspective in the series, one we haven't truly seen yet.
Eros' Perspective
Stop me if you've heard this one before, two love fairies walk into a bar, one's a sex-crazed, promiscuous pink princess, the other's a blue haired stud with angel wings. Where do the sparks fly? Well you're gonna find out sooner or later, because this girl I've been hanging with, named Kyu, is now my partner. We've been working on this case between these two asians, absolute success!
Kyu has quite the record on her, she's rarely ever truly failed a client, and as of recently she's been at the top of her game. I'm pretty sure you know the spiel by now, how love fairies are the protectors and purveyors of love, talent, romance, flirtation, sexuality, passion, sensitivity, joy, sentiment and all that Jazz? Well, my ideal view of being a Love Fairy isn't about just preserving those qualities in human interactions, because as you know, WE love fairies interact Just as much with each other as the humans do. Humans are just crazy.
I mean no offense to the readers but you guys are WILD, in a good way, not a bad way. I mean, who else could create something like "Tentacle Hentai"? We love fairies certainly didn't create it. But I'm getting on a tangent here, let's get back on track.
So me & Kyu are back at the bar, sippin' on some Bacardi & Vodka, because those are my personal favorite drinks and… I'm paying of course. We're setting up a really good rapport, just talking about how the case went. And NO this time I didn't sneak up on her at the bar.
Kyu takes a sip of her cup o' vodka and starts talking about the case herself… "I swear to you bro, It was LIT AS FUCK , she was a total freak. She even takes it up the pooper." Damn, not a lot of girls would be willing to do that! She must've been really horny. "Oh word? Damn I can't believe it."
"Yeah dude, the things those two would get into… PSSST OOH sometimes you just wish you have a camera with you to record the magic." Uhhh… Kyu we are magic.
"Why didn't you just….. Magic up a camera or something?" The sound of glass breaking went off in Kyu's head as I said that.
"…..Oh fuck you I was too busy watching." Hahah. Yeah right.
"Sure you were." I raise my drink and say to her, taking a nice sip of Vodka.
"I'm sure a classy woman of your caliber wouldn't be up for something like that though would you?" I asked her teasingly.
"What recording them doing it, or anal? Because I'd be down for both. PLENTY of my clients have fucked me in the ass before." MY VENUS. This fairy is really open.
"For real?! My god Kyu you're crazy. I guess that's why you drive your clients up the wall." I said to her in a joking manner.
"Oh shut up, my clients LOVE me! Just like at Gangnam Style." I raise an eyebrow to her.
"Gangnam Style? Seriously? You don't think that's rac-"
"FINISH THAT SENTENCE AND I WILL MURDER YOU." Point taken!
"OK…..So anyways. What's our next move? Or rather, who's our next victim?" I ask after taking another shot of Bacardi.
"Well before we get into our "Next Victim", Hmhmhm! I need to know something…. or rather A LOT of things." Huh? What in the world of the sky garden is she talking about?
"Whaddya mean Kyu?" I ask her.
"I MEAN….*sigh* This is kinda hard for me considering… I don't normally do this. Buuuuuuut….. since we're gonna be partners now we might as well get acquainted." She said with a sort of wishy-washy tone of voice.
"Wait are you saying you want to get to know ME? Awwww Kyu. You don't have to do that." I say with a chuckle and a smirk on my face.
"Hey don't patronize me jackass!" Kyu said while wagging her finger all over the place. "This is my first time really doing this outside of just sex ok. I don't normally talk to guys this wa-" She said something that she probably shouldn't have said. She covered her mouth as if she just let out a big secret.
"Whoa whoa, what was that my pretty pink pusscake?" I said while holding my hand up to my ear.
"Nothing! You heard nothing!" Kyu tensed up, she looked so cute as she gripped her fists and blushed profusely.
"Oh no I heard something. And you're gonna tell me what it is." I started to poke her sides in order to tickle the truth out of her. I want the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth!
"Aha! AHAHAHA! STOP IT YOU DICK MONGER! AHAHAHAH! CUT IT OUT! I SWEAR TO GOD I'LL KICK YOU IN THE NUTS IF YOU DON'T STOP IT! AHAHAHAHAH!" I had Kyu laughing as I poked at her sides, seems she was very ticklish.
"Then tell me what you said!" I retorted back to her.
"NEVER! AAAHAAHHAHA!" Kyu gave me a mischievous look and then snapped her fingers, causing my pants to go down. Dirty move pink princess!
"Hey! That was a low blow! No fair!" I quickly pulled my pants back up in embarrassment.
"Hey all is fair in love & war pal." I WONDER what she means by that.
"Yeah, well I'm still wondering what you meant. You can't tell me? I thought we were friends Kyu?" I ask her straight up.
"Don't get it twisted big guy, we are! It's just…. I don't normally talk to guys this way alright!" She pouted and made another cute face, I haven't ever really seen this side of her. She's usually so cool, fun and wild, but now she's all…. Tsundere-ish.
"You don't? But Kyu you get guys in bed all the time." I tell her.
"Yeah, but that's just it. I'm such a promiscuous little love fairy that I really don't have time to "Get to know" another person so I ….never really learned how to talk to guys personally. I mean OF COURSE I can talk to guys socially, DUH. But getting to know them is…. A different story." Wow, she seems so vulnerable right now. This is a change of pace indeed, so I guess I'll just run with it for now.
"Ok, well I'm an open book myself. So ask me anything you want. I promise I won't bite." Maybe I will, but in a different way. That depends on where we both will end up once we leave the bar.
"Gimme a sec…." She then poured an entire cup of Bacardi into her glass and drunk it all down easily! Damn! This love fairy knows how to pound! I like this chick.
"Mmmmmhhmmm that's the good shit. Gotta get my mojo flowin' for this one! Anyways, since we're gonna be partners I thought we should get to know each other. Like personally. And don't worry, I'm not gonna ask you a bunch of questions from the game itself. That was stupid in the game, and it would be stupid here." Wait….what is she talking about? Is she breaking the fourth wall AGAIN?
Don't focus on those walls, I want you to eventually break MY walls! Shut up and look at me.
"Well what do you wanna know?" I said to her. Then we got to chatting about everything we could think of… She asked me my last name, I asked hers.
"Magnum? Like… the condom brand?!" She said while raising her eyebrows.
"Yep, my mom had a favorite condom brand that she loved to get pounded on by other guys. Magnum would be that Condom brand, so she gave me a last name based off of that Condom brand, even though her last name was Pudica." I tell her.
"WOW your mom has to be some kinda' super sexy babe to name you after a really big condom. Who was she?" Kyu asked, remaining curious.
"Well I mean she was no one special…just y'know the goddess of love and sexuality named Aphrodite!" Kyu gasped in surprise after I said that.
"*gasp* Get the fuck out of here! NO WAY! One of THE 3 sexiest goddesses in the WORLD? The greek goddess of Love? Whose like, opposite to our lady Venus of course, but DUUUUUDE. BROOOO. You do not know how many pornos I have of Lady Aphrodite! I'd KILL to get in her pants!" Why do I kind of fear going into Kyu's browsing history now?
"I'd imagine, she seduced and married Ares, the god of war. She would be my mother, and he'd be my father. I want to follow in their footsteps and become a god myself. But I gotta do it through normal means, which means being a fucking amazing love fairy. So what's your last name Kyu?" Kyu tensed up and looked over to the left, she looked a bit embarrassed about her last name.
"Promise you won't laugh?" She asked me.
"I promise."
"OK….you asked for it…..It's…Sugardust." She said with a sort of scowling tone. Oh my goodness….that's just adorable! I couldn't help but chuckle.
"-snickering-" I'm sorry I know I promised but… SUGARDUST? Hah! That's priceless.
"HEY! You said you wouldn't laugh asshole!" She screamed at me with an angry anime look on her face and a vein mark popping out of her head.
"I'm sorry…. It's just that "Sugardust"? Hahahah! I'm sorry but that's adorable." I calmed down after a bit and we continued talking. The entire time we were talking, we pounded the Bacardi pretty hard…. I mean we were taking shot after shot after shot. Pretty soon we drank well into the night, and were insanely drunk.
"Soooo hey dude, did you notice that… *hiccup* Oh shit I think drank too much I had…. A.. a story to tell you but I think I lost it at sea."
"We're not on water Kyu…" Ahhh shit I'm too drunk as well.
"Then how come I'm swimmin' in all these juices! EEYYYYYY." She's too drunk as well.
"You've had too much Ba-Bacardi Kyu….."
"Oh yeah you're one to talk stud muffin, your eyes are doing the loop de loop…"
My eyes were literally spiraling up and down. Shit they were going all over the room! I gripped my head to stop myself. "Oh yeah well you're so drunk your wings are changing colors…."
"D'AH fuck you no they're not!" Her wings were literally glowing like neon signs, alcohol has really weird effects on our magic if we get too drunk, that's the only reason why this is all happening.
"Well you're so drunk your starting to molt from your wings!"
Oh god I was molting, feathers were dropping from my angel wings! "Shit…. Well you're so drunk you look like Marilyn Monroe." I had the image of her in a white dress with long sexy legs curled together standing over an air duct with her dress blowing upwards and her trying to hold it down. She also had Marilyn Monroe's hairstyle.
"WHAT? Dude I dunno who that is you're too drunk….."
"No, you're too drunk!"
"NO FUCK YOU YOUR TOO DRUNK!"
"YOU'RE DRUNK!"
"YOU'RE DRUNK!...Wanna make out?" Say WHAT? ….. Oh yeah she's drunk. Aw well…. Time for an experiment. And kids, don't ever do this. We here at Huniepop do not approve of intoxicated sex with another woman while sober. But intoxicated sex while… intoxicated….. Uhhhhhhhhhhh…
_
Next thing that comes up? Time for a bit of a drunken good time, we decided to use a good majority of our magical power to just teleport back home to the sky garden and head back to Kyu's castle apartment. The door bursts open, and we're both on the wall making out like two drunken kids after a wild night of partying.
We waited until we got up to Kyu's place to officially start making out, so we made the most of the night by adding in a little tongue to the kissing. Thankfully Kyu wasn't wearing that baby doll lingerie uniform that would take forever to get off, so I quickly took off all of her clothes and removed the top half of her clothing. She had surprisingly small breasts, but I didn't really mind. Hey flat chests need love too y'know.
"Don't just stand there staring at me…." She said out loud as I examined her breasts. "Oh Kyu, don't think so lowly of me. Let me show you how the god of love and sex gets down in the sack!" I kissed her neck straight down to her chest and gave those small puppies a nice tongue tickle.
"Ahhhh…. Your more like a king right now, or maybe even a prince…. But you're getting there…. Ohhhh man it feels even better when your drunk…. WHOA!" I picked her up and set her on the bed, taking off my pants as if I was about to go to town on her.
"Whooooaaaaa… am I about to be molested?" She asked me.
"Depends on how you look at it princess! RRAGH!" I jumped on her and we began to make out again, bringing her panties down low. I began to kiss her body all down from her neck to her bare pussy, licking that thing a few times just to get her juices flowing.
"Oooohhh… Man I forgot how much I love sex….. this is a better way to get to know each other! OOOHHHHH….." Kyu enjoyed what I was doing so much, that her back slightly bent over. I never realized how flexible and slim she was until now. Man she's hot. I'm diggin' it entirely, so I insert just two little fingers insider her….and…..
"AAAAH! OHHH MY GOD!" There it is. Now I'm fingering her pussy deeply with two fingers instead of just one. With how promiscuous Kyu is, even if she's drunk, I gotta go above and beyond to please her.
"OHHH GOD THAT FEELS SO GOOD…..OHHH YEAH…. AHHHH… FUCK! OHHHH…. OHHHH….." She's getting into it… that's a good girl.
"You want it now or…?" I whispered into her ear.
"Yes… Now! Let's do this…." Her hair came down after that. She let loose her pig tails just so I could have free reign to fuck her brains out. And boy, trust me, I was definitely going to FUCK her brains out.
"Ok my pink princess…. Here it comes!" I then took off my pants and showed her what kind of heat I was packing. "OH MY GOD….. How big ARE YOU?!"
"12 Inches." Kyu looked like she was staring down a giant, paralyzed with both fear and excitement. "…GIVE IT TOO ME! RIGHT NOW!" Oh shit, now it's just excitement. This might be one of the longest nights of my life. And I've lived a LONG life, so that's saying something.
"Ok Kyu…. Here goes! GGGGHHHH…. OH…." I groaned a bit in pleasure as my 12-inch cock slipped inside her like a glove. She was so wet, it was a cakewalk.
"OOOHHH SHIT! I've never had such a huge dick inside me before…. OHHHH… OOOOHHH FUCK! AHHHH! FUCK YEAH….. OHHH RIGHT THERE….. FUCK…. OHHHH…. OHHHH… OHHH YES…. OHHH EROS…. OHHH SHIT…. AHHH FUCK! AHHHHH! OHHHH MY GOD! AHHHHHH!" It was like this practically all night, she was completely unstoppable when it came to sex. Sometimes she would last for hours without climaxing. I'd have to use my magic just to keep up with her stamina! Damn. If I had to make a sexual estimate of the time elapsed during our passionate night, I'd say we were fucking for a good…. 6-7 Hours. Years of practice kiddos, YEARS of practice. Kyu was right, this WAS a fun way to get to know her!
Kyu's Perspective
Whew….. what a night last night was. After getting the shit fucked out of me by Eros, I awaken in a serious daze and look up at my ceiling to several things. One is a massive headache, two is my hair messed up, and three, Eros is literally right next to me! And he's naked of course. Damn, what a night we had last night… BEST NIGHT EVER!
I mean I knew I wanted to fuck the guy, but holy sweet Venus's succulent cinnamon buns could this guy dish it out! I've never met a man that could literally ROCK my entire world and keep my satisfied for so long. Oh yeah, he's definitely a keeper. I look at him laying down in my bed to the side of me, and he…. Honestly looks kinda cute. I know I don't really say that about guys a lot, but his boner's not hittin' the bed sheets and sticking out into the air, so I think he looks really cute just sleeping peacefully, especially after such a long ass night. I must've put him through a sexual gauntlet! He's out like a light.
*RING RING RING* Huh? What's that? MY trusty, lusty Huniebee is ringing? Well then let's see whose calling. I pick up the phone and answer it. "Hello, It's ya' girl Kyu? Oh hi Lady Venus! Yes the client definitely was a success… OH stop Lady Venus! Hahahah!" She's praising me on my work. I bet your probably wondering what she might be saying… well it sort of goes along the lines of something like this…. *clears throat*
"Kyu, how come your so cute, and smart, and perfect, and amazing in EVERY WAY?"
Hahahahahaha! Oh STAHP, you flatter me! … No but seriously, I am pretty awesome. Anyways…
"But seriously, what's up? …. Another one? Right now?! Jeez there's certainly no shortage of work is there Lady Venus? …. Alright, Me & Eros are on the way!" I hang up and then shake my friend so he can wake up and get out of snoozeville. "WAKE UP BLUE BALLS!" I yell in order to get him up.
"AH! No I swear mom I didn't use one of my feathers to tickle the dog!" …. WHAT?
"Uhmmmmm… you ok Eros? Last night didn't rock your world too did it?" I asked him while giving him this weird look. Who said anything about dogs?
"Oh…. Shit Kyu I'm sorry. I was having an uh… weird dream." Oooooook…..
"Well whatever. Grab your shit Eros, we've got another assignment!" I told him while getting up out of bed naked.
"Wait, NOW?" He asked me.
"Yep! Come on dude we don't have all day! Let's not dilly-dally!" I told him while walking towards my closet. While walking I start shaking my hips back and forth, showing off my naked rump. That guy knows he looooves dis phat ass. MWAH!
Anyone else see him blushing as the blood runs down his nose? Oh NOOOOO Kyu I can't see it at all. Hah! Me either. Hmhmhmhmhmmhm. But Eros quickly gathered himself and wiped the blood from his nose so he could get up and get his clothes on.
"Right…. I wonder what kind of assignment she'll be giving us this time?" Eros said to me.
"Oh I'm sure it'll relate to the lesson she's trying to teach us or something like that. Though admittedly I'm starting to understand what she's trying to teach me. Somewhat…."
"Oh yeah? How so?" Eros asked me as he pulled up his pants.
"I'm starting to see the benefits of … "Love". Love really isn't half bad. I gotta say I'm at least a little curious to see what it can do for "Love Fairies". Isn't that the most ironic shit you've ever heard of in your life?"
"Hah! Ain't that the truth." We shared a laugh and then proceeded to get dressed so we could head off to Lady Venus's castle. And NOW comes my personal favorite running gag of the series! Time for me to mess with the guards again!
But this time I got my buddy Eros with me, so this'll be much more fun than last time. We're flying all the way to Venus's castle and then we see the two guards, guarding the door to the castle. We're a little ways away from the castle's entrance, but still flying in the air, so I stop him just before we make it there.
"WAIT! YO bro…. this shit NEVER gets old. Wanna mess with the guards? –snickers- Shit is fun as all hell!" I tell him while snickering.
"How do we do that? Doesn't that seem like something that could get us in trouble?" Eros whispered to me.
"Dude, no one gives a shit! Trust me I got an idea. It's fun as hell to mess with 'em, considering they're such hardasses. Just watch." I then fly down to the guards and land, walking up towards the doors with my basic baby doll love fairy lingerie uniform on.
"Afternoon boys! Just gonna slip right past ya'- WHOA!" Oh shit, they actually put their spears up at me, looks like they were ready this time.
"HALT! Do not try anything funny Kyu Sugardust. What business do you have here?" Oh yeah they were ready this time.
"I was called here by the head boss bitch Venus man, chillax. I'm good!" I say all cool raising my hand. The guards look at each other and then back at me, and FINALLY they let me in. "Alright, but there had better not be any shenanigans this time." I raise my hands again in alarm.
"Alright, Alright boys no shenanigans this time I promise." With that being said…. I walk in-between them…..and then past them…. And then their fucking pants fall down! Like, all the armor falls off of them!
"AHHHH! DAMNIT I SAID NO SHENANIGANS!" Ahahahahha I'm such a naughty love fairy! ….Ok actually I'm not the one who did that.
"Afternoon fellas." Oh wait a minuuuuuute, whaaaaat? Mah boi Eros is walkin' past 'em. "Did you do that?" I asked him while we kept walking.
"Eh, yesterday at the bar gave me the idea. You're lucky they trust me." Eros said with his hands in his pockets.
"My man!" We bumped elbows like a couple of bros and kept on walking, making our way to Lady Venus's throne room! Y'know, this looks to be the start of a beautiful….. whatever this is. Hey, y'know what it's also time for? MY 2nd favorite running gag in the show! Over to you Lady Venus!
Venus's Perspective
I swear more and more, day by day, it's the same old same old. Nothing changes with my day to day operations, sitting ever so non-chalantly on this throne of mine. But at the same time, there's one thing that never gets boring, my lovely assistant.
"Kamadeva!" I call upon her, and she enters and bows to me. Whenever she bows her enormous breasts constantly hang, I'm beginning to think she's doing that on purpose. "Yes my lady Venus?" She asks me while coming back up.
"I must ask you where are my strawberries? I ordered them an hour ago whilst waiting for my two favorite love fairies." I order a delectable plate of strawberries to keep me satisfied while I was waiting. I was quite famished and admittedly I didn't like waiting, so now I'm ordering them outright. I am a goddess, and a goddess certainly does not deserve to wait.
"Y-Yes Lady Venus! I'm sorry for the wait." There they are. She comes up to me with a plate of strawberries for me, so naturally the most sensible thing to would be to take the strawberries and eat them… you should know how this works by now.
"Uhhhh… Kamadeva. Before you leave I must tell you something." She turned back to me with a rather nervous look on her face. "Y-Yes…. My lady?" My goodness she's sweating bullets. She's acting as if I was going to do something I cannot mention without causing a stir. I'm not like that if you're wondering, I might sexually tease her, but I would never stoop so low. Something of suc ha low caliber is unbecoming of a goddess.
"I am quite famished and completely out of energy to truly feed myself…. Would you please come and feed me the strawberries? Please?" I ask of her while leaning over the arm chairs of my throne. Just to titillate her more I show lots of skin via my legs and cleavage. This made her as red as the strawberries themselves, so red that steam even came out of her ears.
"Y-Yes Lady Venus! O-Of course!" Mhmhmhmhm! She's so adorable.
She made her way too me after I leaned up and crossed my legs. After crossing my legs Kamadeva picked up one of the strawberries and told me to open my mouth…. "Open wide…. Lady Venus." She said to me. So I did as I was asked…. But not without a little fun on the side.
"Hold it Kamadeva….. like this…..Mmmmmmmm…." I circled the strawberry all around my lips and made moaning sounds while slowly shoving it inside my mouth, biting all the way down on it and sucking on Kamadeva's fingers a little. There was even a trickle of spit left on her fingers, but only a very small amount.
"Mmmmm… thank you Kami, that was… delicious." I then deviously licked my lips. And this made her so flustered, so nervous, and left her so incredibly hot and bothered that she…. Fell over? My goodness. I didn't mean to make her faint. I was just playing with her.
"MMMMMMGGHGHGHMMMM….." She's quivering with nervousness on the floor. I don't know if this is a good thing of a bad thing? Maybe I should stop it before she loses her mind.
"Hey Lady Venus! We're here!" OH right on time! There are my two favorite love fairies. "Did we miss anything?" Eros said while entering my throne room with Kyu in his company.
"Nope! Nothing at all! I'll be leaving now, BYE LADY VENUS!" Kamadeva made a mad dash out of there so quickly she nearly knocked Eros over. Even Kyu was quite surprised by the speed in which she left the room.
"…..She's totally got the hots for ya' Lady Venus, I'm tellin' ya'." Kyu assumes. Oh pshaw. I'm sure she's just nervous around my presence. Naturally I would expect such things, I am a goddess after all. But… I truly didn't know if she really liked the sexual games I played with her or not. Hmmm…. Maybe those questions will be answered later on? Or…..more than like this'll just remain a running gag.
Kyu's Perspective
Don't give the shippers more ammo Lady Venus, you know if this series becomes the bees knees people are gonna abuse that to hell and start shipping like crack addicts. Anyways, me & Eros had finally arrived at Lady Venus's domain.
"Well Kyu, I'll look into that later. But for now I'm glad the two of you are here. I assume you've gotten along for the most part?" She asked us, my lady, you have NO idea.
"Oh we "Got Along" alright. Huh? Huh?" Eros elbowed me softly and gave me the classic "Wink Wink Nudge Nudge" sign. "Hell yeah!" We then High-Fived each other and looked at Lady Venus. "Well that's great news Kyu & Eros, it seems you two make an excellent team, which is why I called the both of you here for this next assignment." Venus then reached up and pulled on a string that was… perched above us on the roof? When did that get there?
"WHOA!" OW! Shit! Next thing I heard was the ringing of a giant ass bell! That shit hurts my fucking ears lady venus, goddamn! Eros was covering his ears as well. "Sorry about that Kyu, but this is important! It conceals the details for your next assignment!" She pulled the string again and the bell rang even louder, when did that fucking bell even get there?! It must've always been on top of Lady Venus's castle, I guess I just never noticed it.
But from that bell tower, down through the crystal mural on Lady Venus's ceiling came a yellow bell token that was created via magic. Lady Venus held it in her hands and showed it to both of us. "Kyu…. Eros…. What do you think your clients feel when they fall in love?" She asked me & Eros.
"I dunno….. Hot & Heavy? Lovestruck & Lucky? Young & Sexy? What?" I asked her.
"No Kyu…. Though those do seem plausible, I was referring to what they feel about their partner. When you are with someone you truly enjoy being around…. You cannot feel anything else except…. Joy. Joy is the sunny feeing we get whenever we are truly happy, in whatever circumstance we're in." OH! That makes sense.
"Oh, kinda like how Gangnam Style was when he officially got in a relationship with Aiko!"
"That's right. Today you'll learn how it feels to feel…. Joy. Look inside and peer into your next assignment." We both take a look deep inside the bell-shaped orb, and we see this… weird Indonesian looking guy. He's got glasses on, a Persian haircut, a green shirt with indian designs on it, kinda looks like one of those bad comedians you see at the comedy club that try too hard? Yeah that guy.
"Who is that?" Eros asks Lady Venus.
"His name is Yamal Rajhad, and…. He's not exactly the most suave don jon out there. But his joy is overflowing, and his determination to succeed rivals that of your own Eros." Ahhh, so he's ambitious huh? I personally don't think there could be anyone more ambitious than Eros, but that's just me.
"Oh really? Well what do you want us to do Lady Venus?" Eros asked our goddess.
"I want both of you to pair him up with a potential suitor, just like last time, but make sure you learn something from him. You might find that the reason why I'm doing this isn't what you expected. Kyu, YOU find Yamal, and Eros, find Yamal a girl that he can vibe with on the same level. If the sparks fly, then you two wil have completed your mission." So much for turning men in to stud-muffins for the ladies. Now it's literally all about love? Ugh…. Well at least Love isnt' as bad as I thought it was.
"Yes Lady Venus! We're on the case!" Eros said while saluting our goddess. Come on dude, she's not a drill sergeant. God you're such a dork. But still….really fucking hot. Not gonna lie. I gotta say it's been a roller coaster ride these past few assignments! Every one is different from the last, and they've been teaching me different aspects about relationships I never even knew were there. I guess experience really is the best teacher. Have I mentioned that Dawnwood is like…. The SEXIEST TOWN EVER? Because it really fucking is. GOD I love this city!
Yamal's Persepctive
Hello again my friends! It is I, Yamal Rajhad. Taking the reins of this story, and bringing you more comedic gold! And not silver, because silver is for 2nd raters. I prefer golden yellow, nothing but pure gold. Anyways, let me weave to you a tale of what I have been doing for the past few days my friends!
It was a beautiful night, the stars were aligned in the sky, and the setting was the Dawnwood Country Club. It was a place where the richest of 'de rich gathered to have a good time in the so-called "Fat Cat" district of Dawnwood. And before you even ask, NO there are no obese stray cats running around here! That is disgusting and ratchet.
You could hear the sound of laughter coming from the inside of the club, as an audience had formed inside the club's main showfloor and lounge. I was of course taking center stage! You wish to find out why my friends? Well just look and see for yourselves!
"Well, I mean look at all the people in this club, right? They call this the fat cat district, but where are all the fat dogs? I love me some fat dogs, I just can't get enough of them!" I said as I held 'de microphone in my hands. The audience laughed only a little at my joke about…. You know what female dogs are right?
"I mean there's a difference between fat cats, and fat dogs. Cats are much nicer than dogs, but dogs WOOF! They are mean, but totally way more attractive 'den cats! You could almost call them bitches! I mean dogs are a man's best friend, because *psssh* we obviously don't like cats am I right? What kind of self-respecting straight man likes cats?"
"Your jokes are weird!" Who said that?!
"What are you into? Bestiality or normal human beings?!" The audience burst into laughter after that, HEY! I'm the only one telling the jokes here!
"In fact, I know actual dogs who could tell better jokes than you!" The audience continued to erupt in laughter at his jokes…. *sigh* My friends this is just a day in the life for old Yamal Rajhad. You think you are telling a good joke, but it seems the audience was just being nice to you.
Oh I left the country club feeling rather dour, but I perked myself back up. I could not stay down for very long! "Well…. That is another comedy routine down the toilet. I guess I should try to keep writing. Comedy is quite hard, but at least I got that kind of slot in the first place. So there's that!" You must admit my friends, it's not every day you get to perform for a crowd of…. 200 people.
But even though the crowd did not laugh that much at MY jokes, I cannot guarantee that I won't stop perfecting my technique! I just need to keep writing…. Hmmmm…. Or maybe I need some kind of new inspiration! I don't know, but maybe one of these days a new form of inspiration will come from out of nowhere. I mean it's not like inspiration is going to come out of the sky and just hit you on the head! Hahahahah! Come on now my friends, what are the odds?
*LOOOOOOOK OOOOOOOOUT!* Oh my dear Allah…..
"BBBLLAAGAGAGAHHHRRGGPPHHH!" OW! Something literally came from the sky and hit me on the head! What in the hell?!
"OOOOOF! What in the world was that?!" I ask while getting up and rubbing my head! Whatever hit me ruined my haircut! You know how much I had to pay for that?! $220!
"Sorry bro, I kinda came in on short notice, you ok?" A girly sounding voice said to me as she helped me up.
"Hey, what is the big idea missy?! Who gave you permission to come from the sky and- *le gasp*" Pink lighting all around me, flashes of beautiful circles of all colors, a glimmering shine radiating off of the woman in front of me….. MY ALLAH! I think I've made a discovery my friends!
"…..Are you an angel?"
"REALLY?" What? She looks like one.
That's it for now "My Friends". Get used to that because he says it A LOT. Tune in next week for the next chapter! Bye! ;3