It was a windy day in tachanka valley, the tachankas in tachanka valley who were not tachankas but rather tachankas in tachanka valley which is different from tachankas in not tachanka valley were wading through the kapkan swamp as they finished conquering the kapkan swamp monsters. They had taken a lot of damage but luckily they had the docs stim pistols to back them up. But suddenly, as they were slowly drowning, the mobile kaid retirement home had attacked! They threw electroclaws into the swamp, but it didn't matter because the swamp was so lacking in liquid of any sort that nothing happened! With their surprise attack failed, the kaids hobbled back as fast as they could, throwing dentures at the enemy as they ran. But luckily the glaz army had arrived with their thermal scopes on their sasgs! They attempted to get up close to the frighteningly quick retirees but the world punished them for attempting to become a close range fighter and nerfed them so hard they were teleported into the swamp and drowned. This would later be known as the famous glaz eradication of september 19th, 1920. Not a single glaz has ever been created again since this fateful day. Modern tachanka scholars theorized that He was not very fond of the glaz, and such they have been punished by not existing.
Soon enough after escaping the swamp, the tachankas in tachanka valley who were not tachankas but rather tachankas in tachanka valley which is different from tachankas in not tachanka valley had reached nomad territory. They wondered why the kaids were allowed to run into nomad territory, but then they soon realized that when you kill every single member of a civilization it ceases to exist. It turns out while the tachankas in tachanka valley who were not tachankas but rather tachankas in tachanka valley which is different from tachankas in not tachanka valley were conquering most of their neighbors, the kaids had taken their chances and barely managed to become victorious against the desolate lands of the nomad territory. The kaids had retreated into the houses and acquired their canes. They were prepared for battle. Unfortunately for the kaids they had not yet realized it wasn't 1200 BC anymore and canes were not going to do much against the mighty turrets of the tachankas. As a last resort the kaids jumped towards the tachanka turrets and nearly managed to cough blood out onto the tachanka turrets before succumbing to heart disease.
The tachankas in tachanka valley who were not tachankas but rather tachankas in tachanka valley which is different from tachankas in not tachanka valley had conquered the kapkan swamp monsters, the kaids, and what was left of the nomad territory. Truly a fruitful day for our chosen soldiers.