It was a thundery day in tachanka valley, the tachankas in tachanka valley who were not tachankas but rather tachankas in tachanka valley which is different than tachankas in not tachanka valley were being thundered upon. This was not natural thunder as the clashes had raided a finka sasg distribution center and pumped themselves full of adrenal surge, which had enhanced their clash shield powers enough to create thunderbolts that they were currently using to attack the tachankas in tachanka valley who were not tachankas but rather tachankas in tachanka valley which is different than tachankas in not tachanka valley. How outrageous of the clashes to attack tachanka valley during their outdoor barbecue! ! 1! Inhumane. The tachankas in tachanka valley who were not tachankas but rather tachankas in tachanka valley which is different than tachankas in not valley felt this was utterly sacrilegious. They were so angry they decided to massacre the clashes while fucking their turrets in utter rage. The clashes stood no chance. They were decimated in an instant. Such is the power of tachankas in tachanka valley who were not tachankas but rather tachankas in tachanka valley which is different than tachankas in not tachanka valley.
This raised a minor issue however. The blitz federation of turret rights states they will prosecute anyone who destroys their turret via rape. The tachankas are typically very careful about avoiding such things as they previously were not powerful enough to go toe to toe with the blitz federation of turret rights due to their numerous alliances necessary for them to enforce turret rights upon other countries such as tachanka valley, or the maestro horse stable. This is the first time such a thing has happened, only because of the sheer rage the clashes caused the tachankas by disturbing their barbecue. The tachankas realized once the blitz federation was informed of this, it would mean war. They knew they were scared but they had to saddle up anyway. They immediately prepared a counter attack. The reason they couldn't attack while the blitz federation didn't know is not only because then it would seem that we were the instigators, but also because every tachanka worth his turret knows that they should lure in the blitz federation off the mountains they called home in order to bring them into the open plains of tachanka valley where the tachankas could use positions of cover to attack the blitzes with nowhere to hide. And so the tachankas waited. It took longer than they expected but every tachanka understood why when they saw the army approaching.
I understand cliffhangers arent a good strategy when not a single human reading this will actually wait for the next chapter to arrive but i got tired of writing so if anyone actually reads this you will probably be waiting another couple months for part 2 of this saga but thats fine because thats the spirit of tachankas in tachanka valley anyway isnt it so great i love my wife dont you agree i dont have one actually but i can always hope please help i need a job and a wife so badly