And now, we return to our regularly scheduled fiction. Beli's first date with Yamal is today! I'm trying my best to upload here guys, so please bear with me. ;)
Beli's Perspective
The atmosphere was calm and serene… A singled out room with 20 or so students, as well as one special guest, doing Yoga poses and traditional asanas as well as some unconventional ones filled the energy of the air with a still peace. I could feel the relief of tension flow out of my body as I bent my butt up in the air and bended my body into an arch position. This was the "Downward Facing-Dog" position, or the Adho mukha śvānāsana. One of my favorite positions that focuses on lower muscles & back flexibility. We prepared for this strenuous pose by utilizing the Uttanasana, or the "Intense Bending Pose".
As you can see I'm quite flexible. These poses require you to bend and contort your body in multiple ways, for example the Adho mukha śvānāsana requires you to push your hips towards the ceiling while tucking your tummy in. The Uttanasana is a pose that bends completely at the knees and tucks your arms over your legs and calves, it really showcases your butt as well. The former is worse in terms of exposure, because if you're a woman, your breasts may end up hanging.
I hope the exposure doesn't make anyone uncomfortable? I mean I know it's a little suggestive, but please everyone, let's try and keep our minds out of the gutter ok? Hmhmhm.
After two or three more asana poses, the class ended around 4 o clock like I thought it would. Everyone prepared to pack up and go on about their evening…. all except for one. "Ms. Beli!" That was Yamal Rahjad, a character I'm sure you know of by now. We've exchanged pleasantries quite a bit. He seems like a nice man. I've only known him for…. an afternoon's worth! Hmhmhmhm. But he at least seems like a pleasant human being, if not a little eccentric. I see that he has on Indian clothing just like me. Could he be….?
"Oh, hi Yamal! Did you enjoy the class?" I asked him calmly while stretching my body after such strenuous exercise.
"Mmmmm yes I did indeed! I feel stretched out like a Laffy Taffy! Quite a sweet feeling." He clearly has the concept of puns down. Hmhmhm!
"I'm glad you enjoyed it! It's always nice to relieve tension from your body and feel a new. Say…. There's actually something on my mind now that I think about it." I know this seems out of nowhere for me to say, but I want to ask before it slips my mind.
"Hmm? And what is that ?" I like how he is formal with me. But it does feel a bit odd being called "Ms. Beli", like I'm some big-shot boss woman or something. Hmhmhmh! Oh my I'm chuckling A LOT in this chapter aren't I? I swear that's the last chuckle.
"I hope you don't mind me asking… but are you of Indian descent?" I asked him while putting my hands behind my back.
"Indonesian. I was born to a Hindu family from Indonesia, near India itself." OH, so he's… sort of Indian? In India, Indonesians are basically like our cousins. They wear the same fashion sense, watch the same Bollywood movies, we all worship Allah, the only difference is that Indonesia is an island country and a majority of Indonesians are not exactly Indian. They are actually Javanese.
"Oh wow, you must've experienced a great amount of culture there. What's it like?" I asked him, rather curious.
"Indonesia is a wonderful place, full of many vibrant cultures, ethnicities, languages, religions, and ways of life! It's like one big melting pot of ingredients for your favorite soup. All kinds of spices brewed into one big stew." That's…. rather vague and vivid at the same time. What a strange man…. I like him.
"Hmhmhm. Sounds like you're kind of hungry for soup. We just ate lunch an hour ago." I told him.
"Oh… well yes eheheh. I know that we just ate, but I do love soup. I could go for some Pasulj right now. Excuse my thirst Ms. Beli."
Your thirst is very much excused.
"No no, it's ok. Why don't you go home and get some soup then? You have my number, yes?"
"Of course! I will call you as soon as the soup has been digested. There will be no game playing with me Ms. Beli." I would hope not. I'm not too fond of men who fail to show interest in me…. It makes me thing I'm doing something wrong.
"Well I would hope not! Hmhmhmhmh. Well, I guess I will see you again another time Yamal?" I tell him with my hands in front of my stomach.
"Yes, of course ! I look forward to seeing you again. Good night, and have a pleasant tomorrow!" He said while bowing to me and taking off. I had better tell him before he leaves….
"Oh! Yamal, one more thing before you go." I said to him, causing him to turn his head back to me. "You don't have to call me Ms. Beli. You could just call me by my first name… Beli." I thought I might get used to the idea of him calling me Beli, but I guess not.
He smiled at me with a big, bright, white smile that radiated sunshine without actually showing any sun. I could feel his joyful energy from a distance as he smiled at me… "Alright Beli! I will see you again soon! Bye bye!" He waved at me and then walked out of the yoga room. He didn't seem to be in a rush to get out, but he did forget to pick up his Yoga mat. Awwww….
But his energy, his chakra, I've never felt such a joyous presence before. He seems rather happy-go lucky, which is not exactly a common trait I see in men. Usually, men are often seen as less emotionally vulnerable. They aren't exactly in touch with their eccentricities. I thought that men were usually considered masculine, tough and brute. But this man seems genuinely nice, not to mention quite witty and a little charming. I really do hope he calls me later, I would love to continue our conversations! Oh look at me…. Wait no! Don't look at me. I'm blushing like a 16-year old school girl over one man. How embarrassing….
Kyu's Perspective
Oh… my god! Did his dorkiness actually pay off in a way? I've been watching the entire convo from beyond the looking glass… or the window if you wanna get technical. Besides enjoying the sexy-flexxy from Beli, I watched their conversation after it was over, and I gotta say she seemed interesteeeeeed! I can't believe he actually pulled it off! Though at this point it really shouldn't come as a surprise, I mean… hehe…. I'm obviously one sexy wolverine of a love fairy. I'm the absolute best at what I do, so this shouldn't be a surprise to you guys right?
I see Yamal walk out of the Yoga room in the back of the fitness club and then outside once him and Beli are finished talking, so I run right up to greet him. "My man! I can't believe you actually went to WUUUUURK! Good job!" I gave him a solid high-five and we smiled in victory! I guess maybe being a complete dork has its advantages…. sometimes. I guess it depends on the TYPE of dork you're being, for example, remember Ginger Snap? He was a total dork when I met him, but he had like… no confidence in himself. Yamal on the other hand….. he's different. He's a new kind of dork….
"Yes indeed, Kyu! I told you I could charm the likes of such a beautiful woman! To think you almost lost your faith in me! How could you think such things?" I could establish a few reasons why.
"Well I'll admit you did sort of throw me off with your style, but you did manage to get her number, but now you're only halfway there Casadonesia. You need to reach home base first! So let's get on home and get dialing." I said to him while putting my arm on his shoulder, as if prepping him for game time!
"Alright! …. –sniff sniff- Hmmm… something smells odd. Kyu what is that smell?" OH SHIT… I should remember to not rub one out in public when people can actually see me. More specifically, my clients.
"Eheheheheh…. Don't mind that smell Yamal! C'mon we have to get home!" So he climbs onto my back, and holy shit is he heavier than he looks, but I'm a strong love fairy so I can hold him, and I take off into the sky heading straight Yamal's apartment building. I feel like I should take up Yoga classes after I'm done carrying him around so damn much, I'm always carrying the guys everywhere. But you gotta' go above and beyond PLUS ULTRA for your craft! So I take it on the chin. I'd prefer to take it somewhere else, but that's beside the point.
Later on, back at Yamal's fancy apartment… "That's IT? Nothing good, or juicy, or interesting? It sounds like you guys just made small talk. If I had known Beli was that easy I wouldn't think you'd need my help getting her to talk to you." Yamal told me the specifics of their conversation, he told me that they basically talked about where they were from, he told a couple of jokes with puns in them, and then Beli sent him on his way with her number.
"Well Kyu, that doesn't exactly mean she's easy! She is a very kind, but fragile woman." Fragile? What in the hell is he talking about?
"What do you mean?" I asked him, technically I already said that, but in narration. Why do I keep repeating myself in narration?! I don't know, it's weird.
"I mean she seems rather soft and vulnerable. Her demeanor was peaceful and calm, but she also seemed somewhat unbalanced. Her vulnerabilities were worn all over her face, in fact I noticed that she tried to hide a hamburger from me." Say whaaaaaat? Never would've thought the yoga instructor would be into chompin' on a big mac. Y'don't see that every day!
"Interesting….No wonder she seems somewhat easy to talk too. This might actually be more of a challenge than I thought now that I think about it." I say while putting my thumb & index finger on my chin. "If that's the case, then you definitely want to tone things down and ease into it, don't rush anything with her. Don't try too hard, and don't make your intentions known until she's 100% comfortable with you. She hardly knows you now, but with ONE call…. THAT can change." I say to him as I hold up a golden yellow version of the huniebee 4.0.
"So Yamal, ready to make the leap?" He looks at the huniebee, then looks at me, and then finally takes it out of my hands. "I still say this little machine is a stalking smartphone contraption of confusion. You know in the wrong hands this could be extremely fatal." Shit, you're speaking of the huniebee as if it's some kind of uber powerful weapon or some shit. Damn!
"What does that mean?! The Huniebee is the perfect device for finding girls AND keeping them. It tells you what she likes, what she doesn't like, and so on and so forth." I say to him while an anger vein pops up on my head.
"It also locates girls and tracks their every move. Think about 'dat Kyu." …..Oh god…. OH GOD HE'S RIGHT. What if it gets in the hands of rabid fans that are so obsessive they turn out to be murderous stalkers? I don't want to go out like poor Selena! I now have a new appreciation for my huniebee….
"Ok ok, you're right! But seriously, get to dialing. You've got a lot of work to do before you get to win Beli's heart!" I tell him as he finally starts dialing…. *phew* you guys don't know how much the thought shakes me right now…. I feel like I'm gonna shake myself out of my baby doll uniform… BBBBBRRRRGGHHH….. Have I mentioned that Yamal is really annoying? I guess for once I'm getting a taste of my own medicine. Ironic isn't it?
Two Way Call: 5:16 PM
Beli: Hello, this is Beli Lapran.
Yamal: Salaam, and good evening to you Beli!
Beli: Oh hello Yamal! You called me just like you said you would. –giggles over the phone-
Yamal: Like I said no games here shall be played! Unless you'd like to play a game? Maybe jenga, checkers, chess, huniepo-Kyu elbows him over the phone- OW!
Beli: ! Are you ok? Did something hurt you?
Yamal:-voice sounds strained- NO… I'm fine…. No worries…. It is all very good….. w
Beli: Uhm… ok….
Yamal: Ggehh… anyway, Ms. Beli I must ask you something a little personal. I hope you don't think less of me for asking 'dis, but earlier today I saw you eating a hamburger and trying to hide it behind your back.
Beli: ! Oh…. You….saw that? –she says with awkward giggles in her voice-
Yamal: Yes I did. Why would you hide a hamburger behind your back? Hamburgers are delicious!
Beli: Well…. It's just un-becoming of me to really be eating such fatty foods as a yoga teacher…. It's a personal crutch of mine I just can't shake for some reason.
Yamal: A personal crutch?
Beli: I've been eating junk food for as long as I can really remember. I often eat it more than I eat my daily recommended vegetable intake. I don't know…. It just kind of keeps me at a distance with my body.
Yamal: Well I don't quite understand that Beli…. I mean, for a woman of your size and stature, you have quite the "Belly" on you if I do say so myself! Hahahah!
Beli:-giggles- Stop! I'm being serious!
Yamal: Ok ok, so you've got a bad snack habit, I understand that. But why do you think that is?
Beli: its uhhhh….I can't exactly explain it. But I try to hide it because …
Yamal: You know you don't have to be so ashamed of it.
Beli: W-what do you mean?
Yamal: I mean, you don't have to be so ashamed of your flaws. So what, you eat badly? That's no reason to hide it. You are a very attractive woman regardless Beli, don't be so hard on yourself.
Beli: I wish I could stop…. But it's much deeper than that unfortunately.
Yamal: Then how about this? Forget about your troubles! We shall instead commemorate our new friendship by going out on the town tonight, yes? You could come and see my new set list at the comedy club. Then we could go and get a few drinks.
Beli:-tenses up over the phone- Uhhhhhh…. I'm not sure drinks are the best idea.
Yamal: Why is 'dat?
Beli: Because I become a completely different person when I drink…. –nervous smile and sweatdrop over the phone-
Yamal: Ahhhh I would like to meet this new person! Meeting your dark side sounds like fun!
Beli: Oh my goodness, Yamal you are too much. Hmhmhmh! Alright, I guess that sounds nice. Let's go out then!
Yamal: Sempurna! Meet me at the Dawnwood Country Club tonight at 8 PM. I will be live, On-stage! And then once you see me perform my great comedy, I'll buy you a nice drink that isn't TOO strong, and then we can talk more. And I promise we will not talk about your belly all night. Hahahah!
Beli: Hmhmhmhm, very funny Yamal. Well… alright! I look forward to meeting you tonight. It should be fun. See you later Yamal.
Yamal: Goodbye, and see you tonight Beli. –hangs up-
Beli: -hangs up-
Yamal's Perspective
This is perfect! A little preview of my skills on stage, as well as a first date to get Ms. Beli perfectly relaxed. She will be surprised by my comedic charms! I seriously cannot wait for tonight!... That is if I survive the elbow to the side that Kyu gave me. OUCH…
"Why did you elbow me like 'dat?!" I roared at her. "I was talking to Ms. Beli!"
"Remember what I said about TRYING TOO HARD?" Kyu said with her hands on her hips.
"Oh what do you know?! That joke was comedic gold! It made her laugh anyways, in fact I made her laugh several times!" I said while turning away from her with my arms folded. "Elbowing me in the middle of conversation was just rude!"
"*sigh* There is no convincing you is there?" She said while crying a fountain of silly tears. The face she made reminded me of the strange faces they would make in those Japanese cartoons. Those are quite strange, how many of you watch those things my friends? Are they not strange?
"Alright I'm sorry, but I had to do it. We don't want Beli thinking you're a try-hard do we?" Try-hard? Me!? "Hah! You are funny Kyu. I am not a try-hard!"
I will show her that this is all natural! My confidence! My style! My Attitude! My flamboyancy! My amazing shirts! Everything is grade-A+ NATURAL. To prove this point, I start to prepare for the evening by stylizing my hair using hair gel in the form of side-parted waves flowing towards the left, putting on a yellow shirt and black dress pants with a tie, black dress shoes, and trimming my beard a bit. My exuberant radiance shines with the brilliance of the sun, my friends!
"What do you think about 'dat Kyu?!" I said to her while establishing my swagger with a beautiful pose! "…I….like your hair?" …..Did anyone just hear the sound of a balloon deflating? ….. or is it just me?
That's your ego being put in check Casadonesia. You don't need to be that damn flamboyant.
*sigh*…. Anyways, after I finally got ready for my time at the Dawnwood Country Club, something peculiar happened. *RING RING*
"Oh shit! Hold on I gotta' take this! –answers the phone- Yo wat' up? It's ya' girl Kyu! …..-gasp- Eros?! Where are you, you sexy bastard?! … The Bar & Lounge huh? ….Right now? … Well I am kinda busy with my client…Ok fine I'll meet you at the bar and give you the lowdown. I have to give you something once I see you anyways. Bye! *hangs up*"
"You are going to meet with a friend?" I asked her while adjusting my lapels.
"Yeah, official love fairy business. But before I go, I feel as though I must help you "refine" your performance." Refine? What does she mean refine?
"Here. Take this!" Kyu suddenly uses her magic to make a stack of papers appear in front of me. It's not a large stack, but it's still a stack.
"What is this?!" I asked her.
"THAT is a revised stand-up routine I wrote for on the fly. You can use it tonight to wow the crowd. I promise it's fuckin' hilarious! Hmhhmhmh!" That giggle of hers, I do not like that giggle. It communicates mischief to me for some reason. Help me my friends….
I read over the script a bit and then look back at Kyu…. "Are you sure about 'dis, Kyu?" I ask her, looking back and forth between her and the papers in front of her with concern.
"Uhhhh….. YEAH. I am sure 100% sure. Practice that when you have time, and you will be successful tonight at not only making the crowd laugh, but making Beli laugh too." She said while raising her finger. My goodness this is really, really vulgar. Even for me, in fact…. I think my material is tamer than this crap!
But regardless, Kyu knows what she's doing. She IS the real love fairy after all. At this point, I go with what she says and read over the material extensively in order to get a feel for it, as well as how to deliver it. "Now while you're doing that, I'm gonna go meet my buddy Eros at the bar. I'll be back soon, ok?"
"Wait, you're going to the BAR?! Right now!? But what about MY CASE?!" I asked her with a very, very angry look on my face! One that had my teeth gritting with cartoonish anger! "Oh I'm still on it! I'm not gonna be gone forever. Just enough to last a night's worth. You're a big boy, and you're confident, you can handle it from here, RIGHT? Riiiiiiiiiiiight. BYE!" And with that she closed the door and left me in my apartment. What in the great name of Allah was that all about? Oh well, I didn't have time to really think about it too much. So instead of thinking about it, I got straight down to work! It is finally high time, my friends! My crusade of romance begins today!
Eros's Perspective
I'm back. I know, I know it took me quite a while to arrive on Earth. That rainbow bridge to Earth takes quite a long time to get over, and it's a bit of a long walk. Thank the gods we love fairies have wings; otherwise the trip would take several lightyears. This is why it was such a pain in the Fairly Oddparents…..
Anyways, I'm just chillin' like a villain at the bar side, I'm here simply sipping on a cup full of vodka that the blonde bartender poured for me. Anyone recognize a "Todd"?
"You here waiting for somebody bro?" He asks me while cleaning out a few beer glasses.
"Yeah you could say that. I'm waiting for a friend of mine." I responded back.
"I see…. That explains the 10 cups of vodka you've had already. How are you NOT wasted yet?" There's like, at least 10 different mugs placed in front of me. They were full of vodka originally, and they still didn't give me a buzz. Yes, I can hold my liquor extremely well. I'm waiting for my promiscuous pink partner to show up soon.
"I dunno man, how many parties can a guy hop too without claiming a one night stand?" IF you're a party animal like me, you'd get why that question makes sense.
"You're a party animal huh? That explains a lot- OH hey it's my favorite pink customer!" I look behind myself and…. It's Kyu… and she has her hands on her hips…. And she's like…. RIGHT in my face. She does NOT look happy to see me…. That's a first. Probably because I-
"GYAGH!" OOHHH….. ohhh dear venus…. She kicked me right where the sun doesn't shine…. OUCH.
"That's for throwing me off of the edge of the Sky Garden! Ya' Jerk!" She said… Ok I will admit I did deserve it, but I was trying to give her a head start! Besides she probably enjoyed it, knowing Kyu and how wild she is a fall through space at millions of lightyears shouldn't be that big of a problem.
"Ughhh…. Didja just come her to kick me in the nads and leave? A solid case of hit & run." I said as I picked myself up and dusted off my crotch region.
"No, YOU'RE the one who called me here handsome. So what's good?" Kyu said as she took a seat at the bar. "Oh… HEYYYYY Todd." She said while waving her fingers at him. Todd blushed and looked away nervously. "What's with that? Did you boink that guy?" I asked outright.
"Oh Eros, you know me so well." She said while putting her hands on her chin. "I really shouldn't expect any less of you I guess." I said while a beat of sweat dropped down my forehead.
"Anyways, I called you to let you know where I am, as well as to get the low down on the situation. What do we got?" I asked her, getting down to business now.
"Alright so peep this." She pulled out her pink huniebee phone and showed me a picture of our current client, Yamal. "That's the guy I'm workin' with. You know that already, but did you see the chick we're after?" She showed me a picture of a beautiful indian looking woman. What a belly on her I might add. She reminds me of those Bollywood belly dancers that can shake it like their hips don't lie. Would it be wrong to imagine Kyu doing something like that? Nah, I don't think so.
"Oooooh she's cute. What's the damage assessment?" I ask her, she knows what I mean. "She's a little insecure, is all peace-loving, kinda like a hippy, and she's a bit of a try-hard like Yamal. This dude wants to be fucking Gangnam Style SOOOOOO damn bad, but he's also kinda dorky so this could work in his favor. Think you can handle a girl like her?" She asks me, as if I don't know what I'm doing.
I crack my fingers and look at Kyu with a confident smile on my face. "Leave her to me. I'll have her eating out of the palm of Yamal's hand in no time. Who knows? I might be able to give her a snack or two, if y'know what I'm sayin'." I say while giving her a sly wink.
"Yeeeeeaaahhhh about that. I know this is gonna' sound like… really weird coming from me, and I mean really, REALLY weird considering I'd usually encourage this type of thing….. But don't try to fuck her." …..Who are you….? What have you done with my friend, Kyu?!
"WHAT?! YOU of all people are telling me NOT to try and bone her?" I tell her with a surprised look on my face.
"I know, I know it's really weird of me to say that, but she's fragile. These two are like sugar-coated crème puffs, their love story is gonna be slow, but satisfying since their such a…. sunny…. sugary pairing. UGH! I need jellybeans!" Jellybeans?
"Uhhhh…. why?" I ask her. "Because all this sugar-talk is making me hungry! Hey Todd! Get me some cherry vodka, on the rocks! And put some jellybeans into it! If you do you'll get something lateerrrrrr!" She said while waving to Todd.
Todd blushed while looking back at Kyu and stood there with his glasses on a tray, she looked back at him with this flirtatious look and then puckered her lips as if she was kissing the air. This made him scurry off to make the drink.
"Oh he's so cute, he reminds me of Kamadeva. Anyways, yeah she's fragile and shit. So I'd advise against trying to have sex with her as payment." Huh….. well it wouldn't be the first time I've had to live with no payment from a client…..Well actually I'll be honest, you'd be surprised at how much we male love fairies take up a job without payment…..
"Alright, I guess that makes sense. Then no touchy. Can I look at least?" Me & Kyu shared a laugh after that. "You sick perv! Good luck, jury's still out on that one." She said to me as we finally got our drinks.
"What are they doing right now? Goin' on a date?" I asked her while taking a sip of …..ah shit I lost count…. I think my 11th or 12th vodka- I don't know.
"Right now they are preparing to go on an actual date. Yamal's gonna slay the crowd with his stand-up routine, then they will go and get drinks afterwards I think, should be fun to see Beli get wasted like a valley girl from Miami." Oh goodness I hope she can hold her liquor.
"Knowing her she's probably gonna drink the pussiest drink out of all drinks in the history of drinks! ….. WINE. UGH!" Kyu said as she drunk her cherry vodka.
" Aw come on, wine isn't all that bad. It's classy." I said while raising my glass to take a drink of my own.
"Wine is for whimps! It doesn't even get you buzzed after 10 shots of it! Or at least it doesn't get me buzzed." She said to me while taking another drink.
"Oh yeeeeaaaah?" I say while raising my eyebrows…. mischievously. Heheheheh….. "I don't like that look on your face…. I LOVE IT. What do you have for me handsome?" She tells me, giving me the same look.
"You wanna get crazy wasted on wine while we wait for Beli & Yamal to finish their date?" I say to her, challenging her to drink enough wine to get her drunk.
"I already told YOU, I can't get drunk on wine. It's not strong enough!"
"That's what you think. YO Todd! Get me 30 glasses of wine, stat!" I say to him while snapping my fingers.
"Alright Eros, you're on! But YOU have to drink with me! I've out drank you before, I can do it again." She says while folding her arms.
"Is that so? Well then let's drink, pink princess!"
"You're on Blue balls!" She said as a rival spark formed between our eyes. Strap in people because this is gonna be one hell of a night….
Beli's Perspective
It was finally time for me to prepare for Yamal's stand-up show at the Dawnwood Country Club, I actually was a bit nervous. Not about the performance, but about what comes afterwards. He wants me to go out drinking with him, but…. Me and drinking don't exactly mix. Maybe if I stick to just wine I'll be safe? I don't know… but regardless, I do have an impression to make. And I intend to make the best one I can. So I put on one of my favorite dresses, an orange dress with white stitching in certain places, as well as blue shoes to match the dress, I think orange and blue match well, despite being hot n' cold. They do say opposites attract right? … Right?
I also curled up my hair and did my eyebrow makeup before heading off, I luckily had my own car so I didn't really need to take the transportation. Thank goodness, I'm not too fond of taking public transport. People on there are so rude, loud, and annoying. Dawnwood is usually a calm and peaceful place, but there are people who often get extremely ignorant. Plus the hustle & bustle of public transport disturbs my chakra with the loud whirring roars of the bus engines which excrete black smoke that is harmful for the environment….. OH! I-I'm terribly sorry! I didn't mean to put all of that on you, I'm just venting. I really have to remember that I'm currently narrating the story. My apologies… Anyway, I got in my black Prius and went off to the Dawnwood Country club.
A Prius? REALLY?... Well now that I think about it, Beli is kind of our stand in for the hippie crowd, so it makes sense. Eat your heart out Every single famous white woman EVER.
The crowd surrounding the place when I got there was quite large & expansive. It wasn't exactly enough to completely line up the streets like a big movie premiere, but people were waiting to get in. It seems like a lot of people were waiting for a formal event of some kind, but I was still able to get in nonetheless. I simply took a seat and gathered myself, I couldn't stop being nervous! What would happen if I were to end up alone with Yamal? What would happen if I got drunk with him? I'm not sure…. I really have to stop worrying myself. I need to focus. I came here to laugh! So did many others, because the tables were filling up extensively. This was mostly due to the buffet, which consisted of luxury dinner items that I wasn't really interested in, but they were filling up.
As soon as everyone was seated, the crowd silenced themselves as soon as some lights came down and the club lights dimmed within the small theatre. Yes, this club actually has a performance hall, I couldn't believe it either! As soon as the curtains opened a bit, a blonde young man with his hair styled in a backwards wave, he was quite handsome and had gorgeous blue eyes. He also wore a navy blue suit with red-orange lapels and red-orange buttons, a gold watch that looked very expensive, and two earrings in his ears. Wow…. I can't believe I'm in a place that is so… high society! It's very exciting… but a little harrowing at the same time, here's hoping I fit in…. and don't immediately regret going into this.
"*clears throat* Ladies & gentlemen I hope you are enjoying the buffet, my name is Nick Saltine and I'm the owner/proprietor of the Dawnwood Country Club. Yes I know what you're thinking…." He said while raising his hands up. "Who is this kid, and where's his dad?" The audience actually laughed at the little joke he made. He was quite young looking.
"Well, he's actually back-stage, but I assure you I am the owner of the club. We'd like to take this time to thank you for coming out and enjoying our entertainment tonight, as this is a place where you can do anything you want! If there's a high society dream you have, we have a place for it. Now everyone, please put your hands together for a good friend of mine who has performed here more than once. The comedy stylings of Yamal Rajhad!" Here he is! The curtains pulled back and revealed Yamal standing on-stage! He does look ravishing, but I just hope he can deliver on the jokes. I also hope they are as family friendly as he says they are, there are children watching in the audience you know!
"Hellooooo, my friends! Welcome once again! It's great to see you tonight!" He looked at me from the stage, causing me to blush. I don't really know why I blushed, I just did. I looked back up at him and he looked nervous himself up there….. It seems like my presence just added to the nervous feelings he's having….. I didn't mean to make it harder for him, but he shot me a wink of re-assurance that he could do this.
"Oh I'm glad so many people came out to see the show, y'know, not a lot of people come up here….. with their children." OH….. "Hmhmhmhmh…" That was kind of funny. He is correct.
"In fact why are their children here? What are you parents, crazy?" The audience laughed some more at his jokes, I guess they weren't expecting them to question their logic! Hahahaha. "What if I accidentally say a bad word?! *GASP* Cover your ears little jimmy!" Hahahahahaha! It's just as he said, he's a riot.
"No no no, we're not going there, but that reminds me of something. Y'know… kids are so impressionable these days. You could swear they copy EVERYTHING they see. They see something on a cartoon and they want to do it, for example, they see Tom & Jerry beating the crap out of each other with lead pipes & broomsticks…." Oh my… I remember that cartoon. It… was pretty violent now that I think about it. And YES we had cartoons back in India, but I re-located too America when I was 16 with my father who is of old age now. Please do not ask about him.
"Next thing you know "MOMMY! Jimmy's chasing me with a lead pipe and trying to put me in a mouse hole! You'd swear that if they saw something online, on TV, on ANYWHERE they'd do it. Monkey, see Monkey do right?" He does have a good point.
"That's why I ask you parents…. Why are you coming to see my dumbass?" The audience laughed at him again. Is this self-deprecating humor? I don't know it seemed a little mean to… himself? My goodness I'm full of weird feelings, most of them good, but still confusing. I might need a glass of wine after this! Hmhmhm!
"You know kids are gonna see this shit, and then when they spout ALL 'da dirty words I'm talking about I- OOPS….." He covered his mouth on stage, then held up his hands…. "Please….. do not sue me." The audience burst into laughter! I can't take it anymore, he's quite hilarious. I'm going to skip ahead for you and end it there. The performance was quite riveting and I had a great time, though it certainly wasn't "Family Friendly" at all. He didn't talk about anything too mature or graphic, but it was filled with pervasive language. I have to say I was taken by surprise…. But I had fun nonetheless! Though I might have a few choice words about his…. CHOICE of words. Ooh! Look at me, I made a pun. Maybe some of Yamal's comedic talent has rubbed off on me?
Yamal's Perspective
The comedy show was a success! I managed to crack up 'da crowd with my stellar comedic genius! I told you I could be funny my friends, haha! ….. Ok…. I must actually admit something to you all. Most of the material I worked with on stage was actually written by Kyu.
I'm obviously the funny, cute, sexy, adorable, and COOL one, YAY-YUH!
But it was surprisingly good material, I just can't believe I had to work with someone ELSE's material…. It is rather depressing. Is my material really that bad? Everyone else laughed at Kyu's jokes, but it was me saying them. I couldn't really take credit for it, but it's not like you can blurt out "Oh I didn't really write these jokes, a pink, winged angel from my imagination actually wrote them for me, HAHAHAHA!"
Goddammit I am not an angel! I'm a love fairy, GET IT RIGHT!
But anyways, the performance is over, and I now have a date with a lovely young woman! This should be a joyous time. Once the performance was over, and I switched out of my performance clothes to my yellow blazer, I met with Beli on the showroom floor of the country club.
"Yamal, that was impressive. You were great on stage! I'm a little taken back though by all the unnecessary cursing throughout your performance. There were kids in the audience." She says knowing that I actually joked about this in my performance.
"Yes, I know. And they loved it! Despite…. You know, me cursing several times." I said to her. "But I am not concerned with their opinion of the show, I am concerned with yours. How do you like it?" I asked her.
"I quite enjoyed myself…. Although I thought it was a little vulgar at times. Certainly not family-friendly like you said. What was up with that?" Ohhhh great….. here is where I feel even worse for reading Kyu's material! What do I do, my friends?! Do I tell her the truth? Or do I come with some flimsy excuse! AAAAAHHH Allah help me!
Huh? …. Something tapped my shoulder, I hear whispering in my ear…. "Don't move… If you move you'll freak her out, it's me, Kyu. Listen closely…..Repeat after me." She breathed in and then started feeding me lines to her…. I hope she's not providing me with the second choice I thought of.
"I did in fact say that, but I meant that I wouldn't talk about anything too mature, my performance topics were mostly about meaningless things, everyday occurrences. Like that one bit where I talked about taking a shower and how it's always a pain in the ass to reach your back every time you wash your body." I repeated that back to Beli, and she responds…..
"Well… you really should clear that up next time. Though there wasn't too much cursing, so I guess it was ok." She said while putting her hand behind her back and rubbing the back of her head nervously while closing her eyes. "So…. Shall we get going on our little "date"?" She said to me.
"Beli, are you alright? You look very nervous." I asked her. She ended up tensing up cutely and flailing her arms in the air as if I startled her or something.
"Oh of course! I'm fine, really. I'm just a little nervous about drinking at… the bar. I don't usually go to the bar, I'm always outside." Beli said back to me…. Hmmm…. Maybe the bar might not be the best place for her. Well I won't know until I try! So in order to ease her into it, I take her hand softly and kiss it. This is a bold move my friends, I know. But in order to make something happen, you must be bold! Be BOLD, my friends!
"Oh….Yamal what are you….Oh my…." She said blushingly. She is quite adorable when she blushes. "Beli, please. Relax my dear. You are fine in my hands. If you are worried about getting drunk, then we can only have one drink. How's that sound?" I told her, giving her an alternative.
"That….. Actually sounds nice! Thank you for giving me an alternative Yamal." She said while smiling at me. "Great! Then shall we?" I offered her my arm.
"Yes, we shall." She said to me, as she wrapped her arms around my arm and I courted her out of the building. We went to my car and I drove to the bar, the trip wasn't far, I just followed my vehicle GPS by ear…. Yes I know that in the end that did not rhyme, shut up. The important thing is, not only did I make a great impression on Beli, the night still is not over yet! There are more good times to be had my friends! But unfortunately I am going to have to stop right here for now. Please join me again, as the chronicles of my new relationship shall fill you with everlasting peace and jo-
Just end the goddamn CHAPTER ALREADY!
Tell me in the reviews if this series gets too meta sometimes. XD