It started with a pickup line.
Gilbert had been talking to this girl at a party late at night with some of their mutual friends. Things were going really well. Gilbert had made the girl laugh at a joke of his. At one point, the girl, Elizaveta, said a cheesy pickup line to him which someone talked over her so no one really caught what she said, but Gilbert did. He heard the pickup line clear as day. He thought Elizaveta wouldn't be the type for pickup lines, but anyone can be different than first glance, right?
When the group quieted down post-interruption, Gilbert caught Elizaveta's attention and said, "You know the classic pickup line of, 'If I rearranged the alphabet, I'd put U and I together?'"
Elizaveta nodded.
Gilbert continued. "I don't have to rearrange the alphabet because you and I are already together."
His pickup line was met with gasps and cheers from the friends surrounding them. Gilbert thought he was being smooth, so he took it one step further. "Elizaveta, would you like to be," and he pulled out a ring, "my soulmate?"
Some of the members around him were shocked at his boldness. As was Elizaveta. She took one good look at him, his choppy grey hair and striking red eyes. She'd never seen a man be as bold as his looks. Against all judgment, she said yes.
Gilbert was surprised that it worked. He was just hoping to break the crowd's attention for a moment. He wasn't expecting himself to propose to a girl he'd just met, or even more, for her to say yes. One would think that bad decisions only happen when they're young, but Gilbert's youth of bad decision-making seemed to have never left him.
The crowd they had pulled in started asking when the two would have a wedding. Gilbert pulled Elizaveta aside and they began talking about each other and if they were to have a wedding. He suggested they wed on the following week, to which Elizaveta agreed. They went back and announced it to their following of fans waiting for them back at the couches the couple had recently left. "We're getting married!" said Gilbert.
A barrage of questions came in asking when the wedding was and what was going on. Gilbert handled all of them with ease, and every time Elizaveta made a comment, he would specially thank her and call her a pet name. Elizaveta didn't know how to feel yet.
The next morning, Gilbert went to his own friends and asked around to see who could help with the wedding. He was able to get an officiant for the ceremony, but they weren't sure if they would be around in time for the event.
Gilbert went around running errands for the wedding. Since it was only a few days away, neither one could have any proper materials, like a cake or a planner, so Gilbert did all the work. He made sure to run all of his decisions through Elizaveta and that she was comfortable with everything, to which she always said yes.
The night before the wedding, he was found listening to music all evening, picking out the right songs for the mood of the event. Just when he thought he had the right playlist, he brought one to Elizaveta and they listened to it together. He asked one more time if she was okay with getting married so soon but she assured him again that she was fine. It wasn't supposed to be taken seriously anyway. Just as long as they were with friends, they would act married. Alone, they would still live their separate lives as single people. Everyone knew this.
The day came and Gilbert dressed in a nicer outfit than usual, but not too much since it was a fake wedding. When he got to the venue-a club room-he set up his playlist to begin filling the room with sounds of life instead of just floating dust. Slowly, the friends he had invited came in and filled up the standing space within the room. A few commented that the music he had picked was too calming and a little sad. Gilbert chatted among them until it was time to go get Elizaveta.
Elizaveta was waiting for him in a room outside where everyone was gathered. He asked her one last time if she was ready for a fake relationship and when she said yes, he left the room to head back to the main room. But Elizaveta did not show up.
Everyone began whispering among themselves about Elizaveta, some calling her phone and shouting her name. Gilbert went looking for her only to find her mixed in the crowd among everyone else. The officiant called her to the front with Gilbert and began talking.
"Friends, family, and those who ship this: we are gathered today to celebrate the simulated relationship between the two standing before you, Gilbert and Elizaveta. One you know very well, the other, quite new to our family, but we welcome him nonetheless. As we do, we welcome you too.
I'd like to start off by saying that even though this marriage is by all means imaginary, it does not gloss over the friendly love that these two have for each other. I'll spare you the details of what a true marriage is like, for I need to keep this brief.
When it comes to respecting each other for beliefs, practices, and speech, do you, Gilbert, plan to always stand by Elizaveta or politely disagree when you feel is right, until you leave the city?"
Feeling confident, Gilbert proudly said "I do."
"And do you, Elizaveta, promise to respect Gilbert's beliefs, practices, and speech and politely disagree when you feel is right, until you leave the city?"
At this, Elizaveta froze. She was freaking out so bad that the words couldn't come out. She wanted to tell him yes, but she was stuck in fear.
"Liz?" She heard Gilbert say next to her.
She couldn't take everyone staring at her. All attention was on her. Some, Gilbert included, were telling her to just nod. That everything was okay. But all Elizaveta could do was run away. She didn't want to get married, jokingly or not, to a stranger.
People around her started panicking when Elizaveta darted out of the meeting room, but she didn't care. All she wanted was to distance herself as much as possible from that group of people and from Gilbert. She turned off her phone so no one could call her or text her or ask what was up.
Back at the ceremony, Gilbert heard someone yell, "There is no wedding today." His heart sank. He had to find Elizaveta and figure out what happened. After searching through countless rooms and closets and texting her a few times, once apologizing, he went back to the ceremony room.
He caught the one that said the wedding is cancelled and asked them if they knew what was going on with Elizaveta. All they said was that the wedding was too crowded and hinting at that Elizaveta wanted a small wedding, and not one with dozens of people.
Gilbert left the club center and went home, thinking through the events of the day and trying to think of what went wrong. Perhaps that one person was right. There shouldn't have been that many people. He should have taken Elizaveta's feelings more into consideration. He felt angry at himself and surprisingly sad at the events that unfolded. He understood that he had only known Elizaveta for a few days, but it didn't leave him any less heartbroken.
He tried occupying his time with other activities, like spending time outside and reading. Eventually, he got over his sadness for the failed attempt at a wedding, but he never forgot Elizaveta. Maybe one day, after getting to know her better, they could get married for real.