Chapter 31:
"I heard it didn't go so well," announced Chelsea. The Wax-Hustler's tone was insolent. Peihong wanted to beat her face in. She might have, if Chelsea had been across the table instead of on the other side of the world. "I had a setback," the ogress allowed. "That's it. No more. I have the package from our agent in Jungle Kingdom. My tame sages are looking at how to make use of it." She didn't add the contentious problem of Mr. Starchman's assertions that they needed to at least conduct a small-scale test. After the disaster with the death-rocket, she'd come to realize that maybe he wasn't lieing to save his own skin. He'd been honest, and he'd echoed many of the things slime-cunt had said.
Trouble was, Peihong didn't have spare material to test with.
She wasn't sure it was worth the risk to try for more. The folk of Jungle Kingdom were greedy fuckers, eager to profiteer off the death-metal they'd lucked upon. They'd gladly sell you a small quantity of the stuff–for an exorbitant fee. They'd gleefully sell you more in piece-meal fashion until you were bankrupt. If you were a Royal, you got a little better deal. They wanted their fellow kingdoms in their debt. They had the peeps in Frozen Yogurt Kingdom indebted to them. They had some power over the folk in Truth Kingdom. They even held a little power over the King of Ooo himself. Unfortunately Peihong wasn't a recognized power–at least not yet. They wouldn't be selling death-metal to her.
Flatly, Chelsea declared, "you're not going to make this work... We need a plan that doesn't involve fantasy weapons." "Your fantasy involves a pack of fools throwing themselves at an army," Peihong retorted. "I've fought in wars, Chelsea. I've seen real generals and real soldiers. A pack of highwaymen has no prayer of standing up to men who faced down flesh-melting undead." There was a pause. The ogress knew she'd burned a bridge. They'd been teetering on the brink for months. Indeed, the wax-hustler rumbled an icy, 'goodbye', just before hanging up on her. "Well that's done," the ogress muttered. Now, more than ever, she saw herself as alone against the wrath of the most powerful man in creation.
As the Bandit Princess faced an uncertain future stemming from the fallout of her ugly interview with her ex-partner, another ugly meeting was taking place. The Royal Consort of the Bee Kingdom wore a sinister smile as he tossed his phone down on the table before his eldest daughter. Aerwin had been a little surprised to have her father call her away from the reception where she was supposed to be making nice with her future husband and his family. Not that Roger was in anyway interested in making nice. Roger Hammond had been far more interested in the refreshments, the liquor, his friends, and Aerwin's sisters, not necessarily in that order. Aerwin had been spending the evening with her own friends, commiserating on the suck that was arranged marriage in Bee Kingdom.
She'd been dreaming of running away, honestly. Really, she would have thrown her own hat in the ring to be wed to her mom's old boyfriend if she could have gotten away with it. It was one of those unhappy times to be the eldest sister. She was secure from being exiled to another kingdom, unlike Ariadne, but it was an ugly form of security more like that in a jail than a home. And then this summons had come, and Aerwin had been terrified that her soon-to-be in-laws were pissed off and complaining because she wasn't playing ball.
"I... don't understand," Aerwin burbled. Barton motioned for the stupid sow to pick the phone up. When she made no move to do that, he did it himself, flicking it on to the picture that was now his screen background. Breezy. Bound hand and foot, blindfolded, and looking bedraggled in a filthy robe, as she lay in the Bandit-Princess's dungeon. The evil man shoved it into his daughter's face. Aerwin's jaw came open, as she stared at the sight before her. "W-what," she stammered?
"Your whore of a mother's in good hands," said Barton. "For now." Aerwin gulped. "W-where...," she started to say? "You're to go back to the reception," Barton interrupted. "Finn the Human is there." Which Aerwin already knew. What did that matter? Her father had kidnaped her mom! He'd been lieing about it! "Listen, you stupid little bitch," Barton snarled! "You're to take that man back to your room and offer yourself to him..." Aerwin howled protests. Grabbing her by the hair, the fallen Royal shook the phone in his daughter's terrified face, snarling, "you will do it, you ungrateful little bitch, or your precious mama will suffer!"
As Aerwin listened in growing horror, her evil father whispered to her of his plan. Of how she would lure the King to her chamber. Men would be posted to listen. She'd undress and let the King have his way. All she had to do was scream. All she had to do was scream and sting him in the middle of the act. The soldiers would handle the rest. The alternative? She wasn't going to like the alternative. It wasn't as though she had much for choice, though. Her father was in complete control of the kingdom right now.
The terrified youth left the room, her mind in a state of turmoil. What was she going to do? Her father wanted her to commit murder! Worse, he was holding her mom hostage. With her mother out of the picture, Barton would be her regent! Aerwin wasn't old enough to rule. She was only sixteen! Her father and his friends could shut her up by simply locking her away. She was fucked. She could fight her dad and be locked up or commit murder and be put to death. She'd even be giving up her virginity to a stranger she hardly knew!
The walk back to the reception was the longest of her life, and yet she still had no answer when she walked through that door. Finn was alone when Aerwin returned to the room. The Vampire King, who'd been bending his ear across much of the day, was absent. It was as good a chance as she was going to get. Swallowing hard, the slim young lady glided across the room.
Finn, who was at the bar looking at a vintage bottle of fine honey-liquor, glanced up immediately. It was a bad omen and a hopeful sign both. He was more alert than anybody she'd ever seen. At the same time, if he was eyeing the honey, she had a hope of him being high enough to murder. "Hey," he greeted Breezy's eldest. He'd seen Aerwin a couple times when she was young–back when Breezy still visited. Almost-adult Aerwin was the image of her mom. Finn's heart went out to her as he remembered Breezy getting married off against her will. "Would Your Majesty care to dance," Aerwin murmured?
Hundreds of miles away, Blargetha returned to the lab to find Sarah there working her way through the inspection of the airframe. "I thought you were baby-watching," the slime-princess announced. "I am," muttered the android-girl. "I'm patched into the video-feed from the nursery..." As she approached, Blargetha opined, "what's wrong? Bonnie not provide you a program for being a mom?" Eyes alive with rage, Sarah glared at her. Calmly, Blargetha remarked, "unless androids can suffer from the Quicksilver Curse, you'd never reach those kids in time. Be a shame for you to get scrapped..."
The android-woman showed just how fast she could move as she crossed the room and got in Blargetha's face. Side-stepping the raging woman, Blargetha said, "you should probably dump that application, Sarah. It's making you irrational. We still need to finish the prototype and finalize manufacturing instructions. If you're staying, we can run the stress analysis again." There was no answer. When the evil princess turned around, the android was gone. Rolling her eyes, Blargetha returned to her work-bench.
Back in Bee Kingdom, Finn the King followed his friend's oldest child into a small chamber not far from the reception. Her father had wanted her to take the King to her room, but Aerwin had seen that his idea was clearly not going to work. Far from being a man controlled by his pecker, the King of Ooo was a thoughtful, even suspicious man. "How is your mom," Finn asked? Aerwin flushed. She'd not seen her. Of course now she knew why, and she feared that question would lead to dangerous places.
"Why don't you have some honey," Aerwin replied? She'd brought the bottle from the refreshment table. "No thanks," Finn replied. "I can't have any... Not good for me..." At something of a loss she said, "you don't sound like you're in the best of moods..." At Finn's frown, the young woman reminded him, "we're supposed to be celebrating my wedding..." His eyes asked the question. Were they really celebrating her forced wedding?
That look gave her an opening. Stepping towards him, Aerwin said, "I don't want to be married. I feel like... like he's going to rape me..." The big man's look of horror told her she'd maybe overplayed her hand. She'd wanted him sympathetic, not disgusted. She needed this to work, but she was no seductress. She didn't know how. "You're welcome to leave with my family," Finn said. "I will not let my friend's kid be hurt. I'm King. I'll work this out..." Slipping her arms around his neck, Aerwin replied, "the council would have a fit. I... There's another way you could help me..." A puzzled Finn frowned at her until she tried to kiss him.
The King of Ooo pushed her away. When she tried to pursue him, the big man shut her down with a stern command. "Sit," he growled in the manner of an irritated adult to a kid who'd gotten out of pocket. Aerwin sat down on the couch instinctively. "Why did you do that," the King demanded? His tone wasn't the tone of voice of a man who saw her as a woman.
"I-I thought...," the young woman burbled. "You're sixteen," the King retorted. He might as well have called her a kid. "I'm old enough to be married," she muttered. "Not a fan of that either," Finn retorted. "My kids grew up fast, but it's not what I wanted for them. I wanted them to finish school and learn what it means to be grown-ups not end up with grown-up problems in their teens."
There were some things here that weren't adding up. "Why did you ask me to come here," he asked? "Really?" She didn't need some dirty old man to lose her virginity to when there were legions of young men who would have been happy to have a pretty girl. Mouth hanging, Aerwin stared at him. She tried to refute that, but even to her ears, the lie sounded lame. "So," he said. "Somebody put you up to this." Her face flushed, and she looked away. "Who, Aerwin," he murmured, "and why?"
As he spoke, he noticed something. Her eyes kept going back to her hands. Kneeling before her, the King of Ooo took her hand and asked, "you were supposed to sting me, weren't you?" The floodgates opened, and it all came tumbling out. "Yes," she whined. "M-my father wanted me t-to kill you. There's a woman... I heard him talking to her on the phone. This was a chance to g-get you... because you're a..." "...pussy-hound," he rumbled. Her blush deepened. "And why is he doing this," Finn asked? "Is this about your mom? I know he's jealous..."
Shaking her head, the young woman replied, "he hates momma. He's always hated momma. He hates her. He hates us kids. He just said those things to hurt her. He... It's like he taunts her with the one thing she can't have." Finn found himself blushing, and, at the same time, he wanted to hurt Barton. It was an ugly, evil reaction. He didn't know the guy, but he wanted to hurt him. That wasn't right because he didn't know the whole story. "He sold momma, sir," Aerwin sobbed. "I know he sold momma. They... He... He told them he doesn't care if they kill her after I'm made Queen." Finn shot to his feet, his face a mask of utterest rage. The lovely young woman shrank back from him. Voice dry and hard, the King of Ooo told her, "go to your room, Princess Aerwin. Wait for me there."
Leaving the young heir there in that room, the King of Ooo stormed out. He was seeing red. A cloud of utter rage clouded his mind. It was just as he'd feared! Barton had done away with Breezy. That motherfucker had thrown in with Bandit Princess to spite his own people! He'd tried to sell Aerwin's ass! Brushing past people in the reception, the King of Ooo stormed up to the Royal Consort, his face a mask of hatred.
Barton had returned to the reception by way of creating an alibi for himself. He wanted the filthy wingless to be caught out molesting and maybe even murdering his daughter. His loyal guards were waiting for her screams. He was unprepared for the speed with which the whole scheme unraveled. His friend's look of utter terror was his only warning. Then a powerful hand spun him around.
And the King's mechanical hand crashed into his face, shattering the eye-socket.
As the former consort screamed, the King of Ooo kept punching him and punching him and punching him. That iron-hard fist kept crashing down against Barton's face over and over again well past the point where the consort's skull was a bloody piece of mush. It was only the shouts that stopped him.
On the far side of the palace, an irritated Cherry watched as their annoying host went over their disgusting offer one more time. It was clear as the nose on the bitch's face that she didn't get Finn's family. Honestly, Cherry understood that, for an outsider, it was likely impossible for them to understand. Their family wasn't built on alliances and one man's lust for power. The family had formed organically around a man who was more devoted patriarch than would-be despot. Finn had risen to be King because he loved the world, and he'd attracted the love of the women who were allied with him. Unfortunately, she feared they were going to find themselves dealing with more of the same, and she feared there would someday be some jackass trying to buy her daughter, Honeydrop, at some point.
The two would-be wives had sat passively through much of the conversation, though that was as creepy as the rest of the business for Cherry. The older of the pair was just fifteen years old. The younger was only fourteen. Being a mom of a baby girl, Cherry had started to catch some–a lot–of Finn's angst. A kid should be a kid. Not running around fighting wars and certainly not getting sold off to be an old man's fuck-toy. There was a karmic debt she'd be paying for her part in some of the ugly that had gone on during her reign as Boss of Bosses in the Candy Kingdom. She knew that some of that ugly probably involved kids somewhere. She was going to pay for the evil she'd brought into her life in her quest for power. At the same time, she now saw the life Finn had led himself as evil, and a part of her wanted to be angry at Bonnie for not only turning a blind eye to it but profiting from it.
Simone was working the councilor like a fish on a hook. She was playing artfully dumb, letting their prize idiot tire herself out going over the same stupid ground over and over again. Mrs. Mogg had been bleating on about alliances for much of the afternoon, talking about wars that were now forbidden and an enemy that had been thoroughly vanquished. If she had a lick of sense, she would have seen that there was no reason to put these kids through this level of bullshit when her Kingdom was making bank, and all they had to do was pay Finn's taxes in order to keep on keepin' on.
As the clock on the wall chimed to mark the fact that dinner was about to start, the younger of the two girls finally spoke up, announcing, "I think there is a misunderstanding here..." Cherry and Simone focused on Penelle's young face with laser precision. Rising, the young girl stepped forward past her erstwhile chaperon and negotiator, declaring, "I believe the Queen of Ice is laboring under a delusion..." Simone's face went red. Cherry's hand on hers calmed the tall wizard.
Stopping before the pair, the young girl said, "this is a question of choices as much as it's a question of duty. I am bound by duty to marry to the advantage of this kingdom. I'm not naive in that. As a member of the Bee Kingdom Royal Clan, I wouldn't have it any other way. I will be useful to my people. At the same time, I am the rare individual that is given a choice in how she executes that duty. My choices are... stark. I can be married over the seas to the Bee Kingdom of the northwest, or I could be sent to the far east. I'd never see my home and family again..." The youth let those words hang there, playing to the sympathies of the two women on the couch.
"You are correct that my Kingdom has peace in its hands," Penelle said. "You're correct that we're becoming wealthy, Your Highness." She was attacking everything that Cherry had just been thinking. Finn was right. This little wench was very dangerous. "Peace is a fragile thing," Penelle remarked, "and just one war can transform a kingdom from wealthy to economically crippled in a single year..." Staring Simone in the eyes, the younger woman said, "I can serve my Kingdoms' needs–tying us more firmly into the fabric of the Empire of Ooo. As the King's wife, I can advise him and help him understand the peculiar needs of my people. At the same time, well, I would have the hope at least of seeing my sisters and brother from time to time. I would have the hope of attending my mother's funeral at her passing or looking after her in her dotage."
Dropping to one knee before her would-be sister-wives, the young lady said, "my choice, Your Highness. I choose this fate. With both eyes open. I choose to be married. I'm young. I'm fertile. I'm intelligent. My children will not be dullards. They'll be useful members of your bureaucracy instead of worthless hangers-on..." Before Simone could begin to articulate a response, the sound of running feet announced a much more serious issue was now on the table.
Looks like BP and the Queen of Ooo are no longer besties. Meanwhile, Finn to Filthy Child-Molester: Buh-Bye...