"You should use your voice more often. I mean… You want it to get better, right?" Harada asked as he just finished another cup of sake.

The night was relatively relaxing and had indeed calmed the woman down after being pushed to such a degree of anger. Mei felt much better even when they got back and ran into the man who had angered her in the first place. Harada bid her goodnight and disappeared off into the compound towards his room.

The day had ended on such a good note…

So why couldn't the next day bring only good as well to compensate the horrid day before.

Mei was in the courtyard practicing with Murumasa when they had arrived back to the compound.

"Serizawa! Wait!" Kondou's voice boomed with disagreement and harshness. He was evidently upset, and that is what had crushed her hopes of another good day.

Why? What happened over there? Mei thought as she sheathed her katana and rushed over to the entrance. When she had arrived however, most of the returning men had drawn down expressions, Okita being the soul exception. He had something to do with what had happened, because if it was just Serizawa that made Kondou so upset, Okita wouldn't have stood for it with a smirk on his face. That's what she came to in conclusion. He was a part of it and didn't seem to think he did anything wrong. She stomped over to her master and crossed her arms over her chest, physically expressing her dismay. Her jaw set and her eyes were narrowed as her brows furrowed. Her lips tugged down into a grimace and she evidently wasn't in the mood for his antics, so it would have been in his best interest not to try and beat around the bush or dodge the question.

"Serizawa… and Okita… They…" Sanan spoke gently, though he was just as upset about the situation as Kondou, "They got into a scuffle with some of the sumo wrestlers there… and… and they struck down the unarmed men."

"They did what?!" Hijikata's eyes were wide as he stared at his friend with shock and horror. How could this have happened? All eyes now turned to Okita, who stared down at Mei.

The two were locked into one another eyes, though the emotions in them contrasted greatly against the others. Mei was now fully and utterly pissed with Okita.

HOW COULD HE?! THIS LITTLE BRAT! Mei thought as she found her eyes turning cold. She wasn't gonna back down but when a hand slowly set upon her shoulder, she tore away her gaze to look up at Hijikata.

"Everyone… Courtyard. Now. You too Mei." Hijikata said before already beginning to walk off. Mei glared at Okita once more before following behind the dark-haired man, the rest doing the same not long after. The tension though, didn't stay behind, and instead hung around the group like a compressing cloud that threatened to suffocate them.

When they finally reached the court yard, those who had gone with them recounted the events that led up to Okita and Serizawa cutting down unarmed men. By then, the sun had begun to set and many frowns were on their faces, of course Okita being the only exception.

"If only I had never taken my eyes off Serizawa…" Kondou murmured beneath his breath.

"Come on… Me and Serizawa were not in the wrong here. Those guys were totally itching for a fight." Okita defended.

"And none of us could openly defy Serizawa's orders…" Sanan mumbled as he pushed up his glasses.

"I don't give a shit about your excuses! So, what if they wanted to pick a fight? Why the hell did you draw your sword against unarmed men?" Hijikata's voice was sharp, cutting through the air like a blade. He was in no mood for excuses.

"Then it's settled. I'll spill my guts for straying from the path of the warrior." Okita said plainly.

That moment, something snapped inside Mei. Her eyes went wide, though her bangs kept anyone who wasn't really paying attention to her from seeing that, and she found that her grip on her katana had turned her knuckles white. Her body had yet to fully recover from all that she had been through, so this kind of strain wasn't the best for her, but how could she ignore those words. I should leave. Mei thought but her body refused to listen. Instead her eyes began to sting and she opened her mouth, words spilling past her lips of their own free will, "YOU BASTARD! YOU SELFISH, CHILDISH, BASTARD!" And as soon as those words slipped out with a roar of unmistakable anger, suddenly her fists had connected harshly to his cheek.

The men around her froze in shock, Okita more so than anyone. His face had turned to the side due to the force in her punch, causing him to also stumble backwards.

"FOR ONCE COULD YOU THINK ABOUT THE TROUBLE YOU HAVE, WOULD, AND WILL CAUSE EVERYONE?! ALL YOU DO IS THINK ABOUT YOURSELF AND NOT THE CONSEQUENCES OF YOUR FUCKING ACTIONS!" Mei rushed over, punching him once again square in the jaw. The force making him stumble backwards, "WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO GROW UP OKITA! JUST BECAUSE YOU THINK YOU'RE READY TO SPILL YOU GUTS AS PUNISHMENT DOESN'T MEAN A DAMN THING HERE! THIS MESS ISN'T GONNA BE RESOLVED WITH YOUR DEATH SO SHOVE IT! ONE OF THESE DAYS YOUR IMPULSIVE AND SELFISH ACTIONS ARE GONNA COST YOUR FRIENDS THEIR LIVES!" Her cheeks were red with anger, and the tears streaming down her face were unmistakable. For a moment, it was like her eyes glowed with fury.

The first few weeks of having Mei, none of them would've guessed the woman could show such anger. She was usually so composed and could easily hide her emotions, but something about what Okita had said or done must've struck home for her and made her completely lose it. That's what everyone felt.

"YOU'RE SO DAMN ANNOYING!" Mei growled as she aimed to hit him again, only for Saito to step between them and grab her wrists.

"I think that's quite enough… You must cool down." Saito stated, his grip on her like steel.

Mei only looked at him with a glare before roughly pulling her hands away, "Tch." She didn't spare another moment showing the men her tear streaked face, turning on her heels she put her head down and walked off quickly. She didn't hear any footsteps behind her and concluded no one was following her. I want to kill something… Was all she thought as she disappeared off into some part of the compound.

Mei knew more than anyone what her position was. She was Okita's page, not a soldier, yet in that moment when Okita said those words she couldn't stop her anger. The men she had come to know had all been more than lenient with her and her position and let her do things most pages wouldn't be allowed to. If anything, she was simply a glorified errand girl for Okita. That was the reality for her. She wasn't his friend. She wasn't dear to him. She was a page, a sparring partner.

With a deep sigh the woman stopped walking and found herself at that garden she loved. Her eyes widened a bit before softening at the small yet elegant garden and decided to sit down on the veranda. "I remember this feeling…" She whispered faintly to herself as she stared at the grass.

"Have faith in me okay? If I do die, then they would take the family swords… We don't want that, right?"

"I love you… Protect these with your life, Mei… You're the last of the family I can trust with these… now Run!"

Mei slowly wrapped her arms around herself, squeezing her arms as she felt more tears irritate her eyes. I hate this feeling… Those words back then… Made me feel the same… She couldn't comprehend that feeling then, as a small child, but she could at least know what it was now. It was the fear of being left behind… Of being alone. If Okita died now, there wouldn't be any reason to keep her here. She had no imperative purpose there, she was only kept with them on Okita's whim. At first the only appealing idea about that was that she could live. It never occurred to her that she'd enjoy it… Being with the Roshigumi allowed her to feel safe, and allowed her to open a bit. Years and years of solitude had caused her heart to grow cold, but now that she was with them she found the ice melting so gradually she hadn't noticed until now. She found that wall she had built around her to hide her emotions was now chipped away and nearly gone. She was strong, there was no doubt, but because of that it was easily forgettable in the heat of the moment that she was a woman. A woman a bit more sensitive to the carelessness of those she cared for, than others. She was new to caring again, having not cared for anyone since the death of her family and friends. "Cruel…" She whispered hoarsely before taking off her swords and hugging them to her person. "You both are the same... cruel…" The salt in her tears made her eyes burn but she couldn't bring herself to raise a hand to wipe them away. Standing to her feet, she walked over to the grass and laid down beneath the darkening sky. She tried to calm herself down, to regulate her breathing and to stop the silent sobs that shook her shoulders. It didn't take too long for her to fall asleep, tightly hugging her swords.

-Dream-

"Mama, why don't we use the same weapons as most other families do?" Lao asked as he sheathed Murumasa.

"You mean the Dao's and such?" Their mother relied with a small smile. She was dressed in an elegant pale pink Daxiushan, a formal wear for high status women. Mostly royal women. Her dark pink hair was long and she ran her fingers through it before brushing it with a black comb with gold designs. A very young Mei was in their mothers lap, watching her brother practice with the two swords.

"It's because your mother is from Japan. I thought she would appreciate that we let you learn swordplay with a katana and kodachi. They seem more efficient anyways, so I don't see an issue with it." Their father spoke now, a smile on his face. His clothing was a Shenyi, and the reason their mother didn't wear the equivalent was because she felt it wasn't as pretty.

Lao crossed his arms over his chest and nodded, "They're more efficient that's for sure. Is that why you taught us Japanese too?" He asked, to which his mother nodded. After a few moments of silence, he turned to his mother who now played with his sister's hair, "Mama, I didn't know you were Japanese."

"Truth be told, I didn't know at first either." Their father muttered as he gave his wife a glance.

Their mother only laughed before lifting Mei up into her arms and cradling her to her chest a bit, "Mhm, I was working as a Courtesan when your father came in for a drink. Before I could even notice he came in almost every day, just to see me." She mused as she gazed up at her husband. "It had been that way for a few months before he asked to marry him. That's when I told him he'd have to ask my parents, even if my answer was yes."

"They were a bit apprehensive at first, but after visiting them in Japan for a month they had grown to like me and they said yes."

"The fact my sister had wanted to get married to the man she loved too probably helped." Their mother chuckled.

Her husband nodded and sat beside her, beckoning his son to join them and relax for a bit from training.

Lao gladly set the swords down on the stands and walked over to his family. Sitting at his father's side he reached out and grabbed Mei's small hand, to which the small 6-year old smiled.

"Oh! How come we weren't invited!" Came two sudden female voices. Dressed in similar styles of clothing as their mother, were Mei and Lao's sisters. A pair of twins with their mother's dark pink hair.

"Kou, Ai, come here too. We're just sitting down." Their mother smiled a bit before looking back down at Mei, her youngest.

The two smiled and walked over, Ai sat down beside their mother while Kou sat down on the steps between her fathers and mother's legs. Laying her head on her mother's lap as her father began to gently stroke her hair.

"Mama, because your Japanese, is that also why you give all the girls Japanese names?" Lao asked suddenly as he realized his sisters had Japanese names.

"Mhm. Your father then gives all my sons boy names."

"Lao! Get Mei out of here! Both of you need to run!" Ai shouted as she took a fighting stance and locked swords with a man with white hair and glowing crimson eyes.

Kou did the same, raising her sword to strike down one of the men with white hair and red eyes. "Protect Mei, Lao! Make sure that man doesn't get his hands on either of the swords or Mei! We'll meet you at the safe place!"

"I can't just leave my little sisters-"

"GO LAO! MEI!"

Lao's jaw set before he grabbed Mei's hand, "You two better not die or I'll be pissed!" He growled as he then began to run away with Mei in tow. They didn't get far when they heard a shriek of horror of Ai's name from Kou. The iron smell of blood had filled their once beautiful home, and was slowly being engulfed in flames.

Everything went black and then there was a sharp and burning pain down Mei's back. A scream ripped past her lips.

-Reality-

Mei shot up with a short scream of pain. Sitting up she clutched her swords close to her chest. Tears flowed freely down her cheeks as the pain in her dream had followed her out into reality, though for only a few moments before slowly numbing away into nothing.

"Did you have a nightmare?"

Mei quickly turned around to see Harada and Okita. Confused, she quickly turned back away from them and wiped away her tears furiously. "NO."

"Mei… You're a horrible liar when you wake up." Okita stated as he watched his page fruitlessly try and hide the fact she was crying. Saito mentioned she had tears in her eyes the evening before when she snapped at him. OKita was the only not to have seen them since his hair was covering most of his vision.

Mei had pushed away most of her memories of her childhood deep into the depths of her mind. I guess my time here is making me remember them… She thought absently before she looked around again. It was morning, and the mornings breeze made her quite chilled.

"You'll get sick if you stay out like that any longer." Harada advised before walking over to her.

Okita only stood up back on the Veranda, thinking as his eyes gazed at his page's form. With a sigh, he turned to one end of the veranda and crossed his arms over his chest, "Sorry." Then quickly strode off to some part of the compound.

Harada and Mei looked in the direction OKita had left in, with pure surprise in their eyes. In all her time being with them, Okita never said sorry so seriously to anyone other than Kondou. He must have really meant it then… Mei thought as she slowly stood to her feet. The sound of Harada chuckling brought her out of her daze. Blinking in confusion, she turned to the spearman, "What?"

"He probably realized just how upset he made you." Harada chuckled before looking down at Mei, "We were looking for you because he wanted to see why you punched him. He wouldn't have believed us if we told him so I decided to help him look. Since you weren't in your room I figured you were here. Told him this is where you go when you're usually infuriated." He chuckled.

"Well I was! He doesn't realize the mess he leaves behind for everyone else to clean up! Dying doesn't help anyone." Mei growled as she crossed her arms over her chest.

Silence surrounded them for a few minutes before she felt his large hand gently set upon her head, "Your voice sounds prettier now that it's starting to lose its raspyness…" He smiled before it fell. "What was your nightmare about…?" Harada asked, a softness to his voice. The same softness she heard when they talked about her past before. He knew it was something that made her upset enough to cry, and for her to scream. He felt it was better to talk about it rather than hold it in, unless they wanted another incident with Mei punching somebody, and that somebody might be Serizawa.

Mei didn't speak at first, only putting her swords back at her sides as she gazed at the ground. When she did speak, her voice was small, "My family… I was dreaming about… When my mom told us she was Japanese, and that's why we learned some Japanese culture, used Japanese weapons, and why me and my sisters had Japanese names…" Suddenly her jaw set and her hand absently gripped at her Katana, "Then… I remembered the day Li had attacked… My home was engulfed in flames… Furies… Were running amuck in my house… Killed my sisters… My Brothers… And my brother's wife…" She stated with evident hatred dripping off her words.

"You don't have to get worked up over it Mei… The angrier you get by just the thought of it… He'll overpower you when you two cross swords again." Harada stated, "If you want to beat him and make him pay for his crimes, you have to keep a level head to outsmart him. Also, this time you have the rest of us with you to help." He chuckled.

Mei froze, eyes widening. His words struck something in her heart and suddenly she felt… Lighter.

"That man sounds like he'll come back to take your swords, but this time you'll have us to watch your back. Okita especially." A grin came to the spearman's face, "He won't admit it but he was more worried about you when you got sick more than anyone. He tried to say it was because he preferred you as a sparring partner and getting him tea when he was lazy, but he was pacing and snapping at the doctor who came in to help you. Even snapped at Serizawa more because that man kept trying to kick you out." Harada pulled away his hand and made his way back to the veranda, "Don't worry, we won't let Serizawa kick you out or anything." His smile was warm, promising his word.

Without having to think about it, "Thanks…" A blush was on her cheeks, embarrassment clear in her voice. How long had it been… Seen she last felt so warm…?

With her answer, Harada nodded and walked off to see If he could talk to Hijikata, he had something to ask of him.

Mei remembered she was still wearing the clothes from yesterday and felt a bit gross by it, so she went off to go change. Luckily it wasn't her turn to cook so she didn't have to worry about starving the others today. As she walked she allowed her mind to wander, a hand absently placing upon the fabric above her heart. It had been years since she had last felt warm. It had been years since she's allowed herself to move on impulse, to allow her anger to move her.

"You're Mei yes?"

The woman stopped in her tracks, turning to the voice. She was surprised at first, being that she'd never would've suspected the one to call her was recently new, Yamazaki. "… Yes?"

"I'd like to ask you a question."

That alone made her tense as the last time someone said that they pissed her off, but she'd get in trouble if she was rude to the man for no reason and she didn't have the energy to listen to Hijikata scold her. "Alright, what is it?"

Yamazaki's expression did not change, "You're obviously not a soldier here, so why are you here exactly? I know you're Okita's page but the stories I've heard about you, you've had more than one chance to escape. You were originally brought here against your will as a captive, right? So-"

"Because it's not like I have anywhere else to go." Mei cut him off.

"I may not be a soldier, but I can fight. This may not be a place where I belong but it's not like I have a home to go back to if I leave." Mei stated as she began to turn away, "This place isn't that bad either…" And with that, she walked off. It peeved her a little bit that someone, most likely Kondou, had told him her situation here, but what peeved her more was the fact the guy asked why she was there. Was it bad? If it was the guys could tell her themselves. She didn't need someone else who didn't know a thing about her to start questioning her presence. "I'm getting too upset easily…" She said exasperated, running a hand through her hair.

Hey, guys! Thanks for following, favoriting and reviewing! It means a lot~

Sorry if this chapter seemed a bit scattered, my computer has been being gross and making a mess of things I want to write, so if I missed some things when checking this please tell me. I'll try to get the next chapter up soon. Another reason why I didn't post this up for a while was because anime and games have got me bad. Touken Ranbou, Bungou Stray Dogs, Hakuouki's new game coming out-ugh my life is a mess.

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Love, Chess.