A/N: This idea came to me this morning out of nowhere, and it refused to leave me alone. Some Jibbs sadness, but it ultimately has a happy end. There's also a little Cynthia/Jenny friendship sprinkled in. Enjoy!

Leroy Jethro Gibbs was not a man who was dumb enough to suggest to his wife that she was acting strange, but she was. She'd been unusually quiet the entire day, and while he had originally thought that she was merely stressed at work, now he wasn't so sure. He couldn't take his eyes off her as she finished her drink, and frowned. It was with great misgivings that he didn't mention that her drinking made him uneasy, but he had managed to convince himself that he would be able to tell if her alcoholism threatened to get out of control again. Nevermind the fact that he hadn't even noticed it the first time.

She tapped a perfectly manicured nail against the mason jar in her hand, and he busied himself with pretending that he was browsing through his tool box. Four minutes later, when he could finally stand it no longer, he sighed, and ran his hand through his hair.

"Jen, what's wrong?"

She jumped at the sound of his voice and turned.

"What?"

"You've been quiet all day, and now you're tapping that glass like you're putting out a cigarette."

He frowned, a sudden idea occurring to him.

"You didn't start smoking, did you?"

Jenny rolled her eyes, shaking her head.

"No. The last cigarette I had was when we almost lost Tony and Ziva on that op and you took it out of my hand."

"Good."

"Nothing's wrong...I just...I have a bad feeling. I can't explain it, but I just fee like something bad is going to happen."

Though he knew better than to question her, and even though he wasn't sure what it could be, he trusted her. Her instincts were usually correct, and he nodded.

"Maybe you'll be wrong this time."

"It happens occasionally," she said with a small smile.

Abandoning his false pursuit of tools, he crossed the room and placed his hands on her shoulders. He met her eyes seriously, and leaned down to kiss her, smiling when he felt her relax into him.

"It's late, Jen. Why don't you call it a night and get some sleep?"

"Will you come with me? You don't have to sleep, but...I don't want to be alone right now."

He nodded, allowing her to walk up the basement steps first, his hand protectively at the small of her back. He had no intentions of falling asleep, but if it made Jenny feel better, he would stay wherever she wanted.

Shaking her head against the slight headache she could feel building behind her eyes, Jenny sighed and picked up her glasses slowly. Getting older was a bitch, and while she was far from old by any means, her vision had definitely been getting worse. As she signed her name to the bottom of a report, she frowned at the soft buzz of her intercom.

"Excuse me, Director, may I come in?"

"Of course, Cynthia."

The door opened slowly, and the young woman stepped inside her office with a smile.

"I'm going for lunch, would you like anything?"

Jenny shook her head, giving Cynthia a small appreciative smile.

"No, thank you."

The younger woman nodded and shut the door again, leaving Jenny to place her head down on her desk wearily. She'd been sleeping even less than normal for the past few nights, preoccupied by the feeling of dread in the back of her mind, and it was beginning to catch up to her. She was so exhausted that she didn't even move when her door opened forty-five minutes later, and as Gibbs backed silently out of the room, he smiled sadly at the redhead sleeping behind the desk.

Pulling her clothing tiredly from her body, Jenny sighed as she tested the temperature of the shower spray. It had been a long day, filled with budget meetings and no shortage of ass-kissing, and she ran her fingers through her hair slowly. She stepped into the shower, fully immersing herself in the hot water and she frowned as she felt a thick liquid trail down her leg.

Glancing down, Jenny rolled her eyes at the sight of blood and picked up her shampoo. Figures that her period would choose now to arrive. As if she wasn't exhausted enough. Just as she finished rinsing the conditioner from her hair five minutes later, Jenny was slightly surprised to find that the blood flow had increased. Significantly.

Mildly alarmed now, Jenny climbed out of the shower, pulling on a bathrobe and drying her hair slowly with a towel. Surely it was nothing. Certainly nothing to freak out over.

Gibbs smiled as he laid down on the bed, crossing his arms behind his head slowly. He'd decided that he was going to wait for Jenny to decide what to order for dinner, and though he certainly didn't want to rush her, he really wished she would hurry. The door to the bathroom was slightly ajar, light filtering into the room, and he closed his eyes, hoping he didn't accidentally fall asleep.

"Jethro?"

All she said was his name, but there was something in her voice that made him sit up immediately. He walked over to the door, pushing it open carefully, not wanting to hit her if she were standing too close and he frowned.

"Yeah?"

"I'm bleeding."

"Thought women did that all the time. Something about Eve and an apple..."

He stepped into the small room, really looking at her for the first time, and his eyes widened. She hadn't been kidding when she'd said she was bleeding, but damn...that was a lot of blood. It had soaked through the pale green bathrobe she wore, and her hands were stained crimson as they sat immobile in her lap.

"Jen?"

"I think I need to go to a hospital. Now."

There was no fear in her voice, but the urgency that lurked just underneath was enough to snap his mind into action. Added to the fact that Jenny had never before voluntarily requested medical attention, and he became extremely concerned. He nodded, grabbing his keys and wallet as she pulled on a loose pair of sweatpants and a shirt, and as soon as she was dressed, he lifted her into his arms.

"I'm perfectly capable of walking," she snapped.

"Not taking any chances."

"Jethro."

He turned at the quiet voice, slightly annoyed that he hadn't noticed that Ducky was standing next to him and nodded.

"Hey, Duck."

"Is there any update?"

Gibbs shook his head.

"No. I was going to go with her, but she told me to wait here. You know Jenny. Never wants anyone to see her as anything less than invincible."

Ducky laughed knowingly.

"Indeed. Jennifer isn't one to let her guard down easily."

"Agent Gibbs?"

His head turned immediately at the voice, and Ducky nodded, letting him know that he should have the conversation in private.

"Give my love to Jennifer," he said quietly as he left.

Nodding absentmindedly, Gibbs stood and made his way closer to the young woman who had spoken.

"Agent Gibbs, my name is Doctor Warren. Your wife is going to be fine, we've stopped the bleeding, but...I'm sorry. We weren't able to save the baby."

He heard the words, but they didn't make any sense. He merely nodded, looking at her with a quiet determination.

"Can I see her?"

"Absolutely. Go right back. Room 226."

Thanking her, Gibbs walked past her, his pace much slower than he was accustomed to. Dr. Warren's words finally clicked in his mind and he froze, realising what she had said. A baby? Jenny was pregnant? Or, had been? Why hadn't she told him? How could she have kept something like this from him? They didn't keep secrets. At least he thought they didn't.

When he opened the door to the hospital room, the first thing he thought was of how small Jenny looked sitting on the edge of the bed. She didn't look up as he entered, and even when he walked to her side, she stared straight ahead.

"Jen?"

Slowly, so slowly that it was almost painful, Jenny turned to look at him, and he frowned at the blank look in her eyes.

"Are you okay? Physically?"

He knew there was no way she was emotionally stable right now, but he needed to know that she was going to be able to walk out of here. She nodded, and he sat down next to her, placing a hand on her knee.

"Why didn't you tell me you were pregnant?"

Her head shook and she looked away.

"I didn't know," she whispered.

Damn. He hadn't even considered that she didn't know. Now he felt like a jerk for being put out that she hadn't told him.

"They removed the...everything, so I'll be okay as far as sex goes," she told him dully, "It was only six weeks, but..."

"I don't care about that, Jen. I just want you to be safe."

She laid her head on his shoulder, and he wrapped his arm around her, kissing the top of her head softly.

"Can we go home now?" she whispered.

"Yeah, Jen. Let's go home."

She didn't say a word as they drove back to the house, instead leaning her head against the window and Gibbs couldn't help himself as he glanced over at her worriedly as he drove. As soon as he parked, she opened the door, sweeping into the house and he sighed as he looked after her in concern. By the time he made it upstairs, she had closed the bedroom door, and when he knocked on it softly, he wondered if she would even answer.

It opened slowly, and she raised tired eyes to his.

"Jen?"

"I need to be alone right now, Jethro," she said softly, "Please."

He nodded, kissing her gently and he ran his fingers through her hair.

"You know where to find me."

Jenny nodded, and his quiet voice stopped her just before she closed the door again.

"I love you."

"I love you too, Jethro."

He tried to pretend that he wasn't worried as he heard the lock click into place, and as he headed down to the basement, he suddenly wished that he had even the slightest idea of what to say to the redhead upstairs.

Jenny ran a shaking hand through her hair as she laid curled on her side and tried to sort out the myriad of thoughts spinning around in her mind. She had no idea why she was reacting this way to her miscarriage, hell, she didn't even want children, but she couldn't make any sense of it. It wasn't even as though she'd known she was pregnant. She had no concept of what she'd lost, not really, because she'd never known she had it to begin with.

Except...except, she did, in a way. She'd been there when Lana was born, had held her minutes after Heather had given birth, and she'd watched the baby and Tori countless times over the past year. Not that this in any way compared to having a child of her own, but she knew how precious the life of a child was. More than that, she knew that Gibbs knew exactly what they'd lost. What he had lost, now in more ways than one.

He had told her before they even married that he didn't want children, and she knew that she herself was never going to want them, but now...now she was faced with the possibility of never being able to have them if she ever changed her mind. Not that she would, but it was merely the unfairness of possibly having the choice ripped away from her. She supposed that, more than anything, was one reason she was so upset.

In a way, she felt as though a part of herself had been torn away from her, though she had never even known it had been there. She sat up slowly, wiping away her tears, and pulled out her phone, holding it with shaking hands.

"Hello?"

"Cynthia, I hate to bother you at home, especially so late, but I wanted to tell you that I'm taking a few days off from work."

"Of course, Director. Is everything okay?"

Jenny frowned, unsure of how to answer.

"No," she said finally, "it isn't. And please, call me Jenny."

She knew Cynthia could be trusted, the younger woman had stood by her side through everything the past year had put her through, and honesty really was best in this situation.

"May I ask what happened, or would you rather I didn't?"

"I...I had a miscarriage tonight."

It was the first time she had said the word out loud, and it felt strange and foreign on her tongue.

"I didn't even know you were pregnant."

"Neither did I," Jenny said quietly.

"Oh, Jenny...I'm so sorry. Is there anything you need? How can I help?"

In spite of the pain she felt, Jenny laughed.

"You're not on the clock, Cynthia."

"I know. I meant as a friend."

Jenny frowned. She hadn't realised that Cynthia valued her that much and she sighed as she shook her head.

"No. Thank you. Please just cancel my meetings for the next week, and we'll discuss more when I come back."

"Of course. If you do need anything, don't hesitate to ask."

"Give my husband hell at work."

"He isn't staying home with you?"

Jenny could almost see the younger woman's confusion and she shook her head.

"Not if I have anything to say about it. Thank you, Cynthia."

"You're welcome, Jenny."

Frowning in concentration as he carried a plate of food and a cup of tea up the stairs, Gibbs struggled to figure out how he was going to manage to open the bedroom door with both hands full. When he reached said door, he found that it didn't matter, because it was still locked, and he carefully balanced the plate on top of the mug, knocking softly.

"Jenny? I brought you something to eat and a cup of hot tea."

There was no answer, and he knocked again, louder this time.

"Jen?"

"Just leave it outside the door."

He frowned, staring at the wooden frame.

"You have to eat something."

"I'm not hungry, Jethro."

"At least drink the tea."

"I will later."

Though he knew that nothing he said would change her mind, he leaned against the locked door, hoping she was still near enough to hear him.

"Jenny?"

A pause.

"Yes?"

"I love you."

"I love you, too."

When Gibbs walked into autopsy, Ducky turned, frowning in confusion.

"Jethro. We don't have a case. To what do I owe the pleasure of your company?"

"Need to talk to you."

"I'm assuming this is about Jennifer?"

He nodded, and Ducky leaned back against one of the long metal tables, waiting for him to continue.

"What happened at the hospital?"

Gibbs sighed.

"Jenny had a miscarriage."

Ducky's eyes widened and he frowned.

"I didn't realise that she was expecting."

"She didn't, either."

"Oh, dear," Ducky sighed, "how is she taking it?"

"I don't know. She's locked herself in the bedroom. I haven't seen her since we came home from the emergency room."

Counting in his head, Ducky shook his head in disbelief.

"Jethro, that was four days ago."

Gibbs nodded.

"I know."

"How have you been getting dressed for work?"

Surely Ducky would have noticed if he'd been wearing the same clothing four days in a row. He was old, not senile.

"She's been sitting my clothes in the hall," Gibbs admitted, "I'm starting to get really worried. I've brought her food every day, but she hasn't touched it. How do I help her?"

Ducky was silent as he thought, frowning in concentration, and he sighed sadly.

"Jennifer is likely experiencing a sense of mourning, not unlike when you lose a loved one, and she is trying to deal with it in her own way."

"She didn't even want children. We talked about it before we even got engaged."

"That may be, but logic doesn't always prevail in these matters. Especially when you consider everything else that Jennifer has gone through in the past year."

Gibbs was silent, considering the doctor's words carefully.

"Jethro, go home. Your wife needs you."

Finally, Gibbs nodded, and placed his hand on the older man's shoulder lightly.

"Thanks, Duck."

"Of course. Give my love to Jennifer."

Gibbs knocked on the door of the bedroom, hoping that his wife wasn't sleeping, and he frowned when there was no answer.

"Jenny? Will you open the door?"

Silence.

He sighed, knocking again, and he leaned against the frame with his head in his hand, pretending that he didn't see the pile of dishes still filled with food from the breakfast he'd brought for her.

"Give me somethin', Jen. A breath, a noise, anything."

It occurred to him, as he stared at the smooth wood of their bedroom door, that he had absolutely no fucking clue as to what in the hell he was going to do. Finally, he heard a slight shuffling behind the door, and the lock slid quietly out of place. The door opened slowly, revealing a Jenny that looked so broken that it rivaled the night he had discovered her bleeding on his front porch over a year ago. She looked drained, exhausted beyond belief, paler than fresh snow, her hair tangled, and her eyes smudged with the remnants of her days-old makeup.

She was holding on tightly to the door frame, and he was almost certain that it was the only thing keeping her upright. Her eyes met his slowly, and her face crumpled seconds before she fell into his arms. It wasn't like her to shut him out for so long, and he held her tightly, pretending he didn't notice how badly she was shaking. He swept her into his arms, carrying her back into the bedroom and as he sat down on the bed, he cradled her against his chest, kissing her hair gently.

"Talk to me, Jen."

She shook her head slowly, burying her face in his shirt.

"I don't know how to explain it."

"I really wish you would try. You're scaring the hell out of me, Shepard."

Not even bothering to call him out for using her maiden name, Jenny sighed.

"I feel like I've lost a part of me that I didn't even know existed. I never wanted children, it never even crossed my mind, but to know that I was going to have one and then to have it ripped away before I even knew...I just...I feel cheated, somehow."

He nodded.

"And you...you know what we've lost. You've already lost it once before. I feel like I let you down."

He stared down at her as though she'd lost her mind, and shook his head firmly.

"Oh, Jen...you've never let me down. Not now, not ever."

"Jethro—"

"You listen to me: I don't care how many children we have, none or twenty. All I care about is you being safe. If it really mattered that much, don't you think I would have told you? That being said, if it's something you're wanting to consider, we can always try."

She shook her head, still not looking at him.

"I don't even know how this happened. I've been on birth control since I was seventeen and I've only had one scare in my life, and that was last year. And even then, I was just late. How is this possible?"

"It doesn't happen often, but it does happen. Maybe you should think about trying a different form of birth control. Unless you don't want to take it anymore."

"No, Jethro. I don't want children. I'll talk it over with my doctor on Monday. I made an appointment already."

He kissed her hair again, and finally, she raised bloodshot green eyes to piercing blue.

"I'm sorry, Jethro. I've acted like such an idiot about this."

Brushing his lips over hers, he shook his head and smiled at her.

"Nah. You just nearly made me break down the bedroom door. I was worried sick about you."

She touched his cheek gently, and gave him a weak smile.

"What do you want for dinner? You haven't eaten in nearly a week."

"Anything," she said slowly, "I'm still not very hungry, though."

"You will be. Chinese?"

Kissing him softly, she nodded as she pulled away.

"Beef lo mein, no vegetables?"

"You know me so well," she laughed.

He nodded, lifting her from his lap, and he took her hand as he led her to the door.

"I think it's time for you to see the rest of the house."

"Has it changed much?"

"Yeah. We have a panic room now."

Jenny laughed lightly, and while it wasn't the same bright laughter that he was used to, it had been so long since he'd heard anything even remotely close to it that he smiled. He wrapped his arm around her and as they walked down the steps, Jenny leaned into him heavily. Though it was going to take some time, she finally felt like she was strong enough that she could manage to come out of her lockdown. With him, she could make it through anything.

A/N: Love it? Hate it? Let me know!