Chapter 36:
Orzsebet the Agent Princess awoke with a start to the sound of keys clacking on a computer. It all came rushing back. The King... brutally torturing a gangster–wringing information out of him–before handing him over to his brethren, likely to be murdered. He'd taken her last night. He'd used her for two hours, maybe more. She'd blacked out somewhere in the middle of it. A glance down at her naked body showed that she hadn't dreamed that. "Good morning, Your Highness," Finn remarked. He never stopped what he was doing. He might have been talking to the wall.
"Give me the names of the men who suggested rape," Finn rumbled. Pulling the covers up, she stared at him, all her terror coming back as her mind conjured uglier ways last night could have ended. He could easily have crushed her or snapped her neck instead of toying with her. He glanced at her, and his expression suggested that she'd better give him the names. The spymaster shivered in memory of the awful fate meted out to the three men on zombie island. "Gordon Wells," she murmured, "and Damien Vega." "You can go," he told her. "We'll be leaving in an hour to head to the Bandit Kingdoms." She got up, snatched her panties off the floor, and hustled out of there. She'd been friends with Damien until they'd both landed on the Committee. Gordon had been her mentor and the first man to fuck her. Both had come to see her as a danger to them when she was elected to the Committee. Now she'd be nominating two replacements. One thing was certain, she would never be fool enough to cross this man.
An hour later, the Lady of Spies strode into the King's private car, dressed in a black suit, much like Finn had worn on special occasions in his all-but-forgotten former life. It was a jarring look for her, making her look like a boy. Skinny as she was, and with that short haircut, she might have been taken for a boy if not for the weird hitch to her walk. Orzsebet was walking funny. She knew she was walking funny. Truth be told, she honestly thought she might well be walking bow-legged. It had been a rough night, and she wasn't exactly young anymore.
More to the point, she was here alone. The others weren't allowed inside this space because Finn trusted neither her nor her organization. He was right, of course. Her mind kept wanting to conjure ways to slip listening devices into this chamber. At the same time... Finn was the surety that she wouldn't be put to death. Tongues had been wagging about that this very morning when she emerged from his quarters.
"Master," she greeted him. "We looked through Mr. Hansen's phone before handing it to your... associates. There's a suspicious number registered through InterFone near the place the wagon was going." Finn nodded. That's where they would be going. "How far from the tracks," he asked? "We'll have to ride a bit," Orzsebet replied. Finn nodded absently and asked, "horses or motor vehicles?" "The roads are rough, Your Majesty," Orzsebet replied. It wouldn't be his car. Fortunately, his bodyguard knew how to ride. "I'm satisfied," he said. "You can go." As the thin woman turned away, the big man told her, "lose the suit. It's ugly. I don't like it." The Agent Princess shivered. Nonetheless, with a nod, she went walking back down the aisle to the door.
The King was closeted in his private car all through the day, while the spies kept to themselves in a car on the far end of the train. Orzsebet mostly acted as go-between, and the repeated walks up and down through the train eased some of the soreness out of her muscles such that she was mostly walking normally as the sun began to set. As the day ended, the Lady of Spies found herself standing in front of the King's table, watching as his food-taster sampled the big man's dinner.
"Have a seat, Your Highness," the big man rumbled. "We should talk..." The skinny spy-girl stood there a moment, thinking about that. In for a penny, she thought, as she drew the chair before him. Moments later, the bodyguard came over and ladled out soup and salad for her. As she sampled the soup, the King rumbled, "the world is changing, Orzsebet." The spy grunted. The world had already changed. She was still suffering the aches and pains from all the change. "I had to change to meet the world," Finn insisted. Looking up into his pretty blue eyes, the spy found herself considering what he was trying to say. His expression was neutral but ernest, and she wondered. What did he mean? What did that mean for her?
"We have to pull together," Finn murmured. "We can't continue to be at each other's throats..." It took a moment. He was expounding on his new kingdom–a kingdom that encompassed all the kingdoms that were. It would have sounded arrogant coming from any other man. Finn wasn't the kind of man who wanted power. He could have had it in spades any time he'd desired it. Orzsebet had laughed at him for being a fool who turned away from his own greed.
"You ask for things I can't give you," she blurted. The King paused. "The old ways of doing things... of loyalty to a king and his desires... All of that died in the fires," Orzsebet insisted. "My kind... we're... loyal to ourselves." Resting his elbows on the table, the King said, "do you doubt my resolve, my Lady?" In bleak tones, Orzsebet murmured, "no." She'd seen his resolve in the basement last night. She'd felt his resolve firsthand in the Fire-Bleeder's tomb. Finn–New Finn as his wives called him–would smash her and anyone else he saw as a threat, and he now had more of power than she'd ever dreamed of in her life.
Reaching out, the big man took her chin in his hand–his left this time–and whispered, "I want to move past the ugliness of our past, Orzsebet. Meet me halfway. Let us come to an..." He frowned, his face twisting into a puzzled frown, and that's when she remembered. He didn't have the word. He was a simple man, thrust into something he had never wanted and damaged by some of the things he'd experienced. "Accommodation," she murmured. "The word you want is accommodation." Nodding, he admitted, "I have many flaws and failings like that... My people help me with things like that..." It was a bit of a shock to have a man with this kind of power make such an admission. "You can help me," he said. "You can be one of my hands... We can make the world better for all..." He didn't focus on the alternative. She already knew it.
"I have... factions that I have to deal with," she said. "I have ugly friends," Finn retorted. The threat was clear. Those factions might well get removed. She thought of the two walking dead–Gordon and Damien. They were dead, and they didn't even know it. She wondered when it would happen. How would it happen? He planned to simply have them murdered. Worse thought: he could just get rid of her too. She could spend her life watching her back, or...
"Information is expensive, Your Majesty," she said. "Royal Protection is worth something," Finn replied. They were down to the bargaining. Taking a breath, she said, "there are things outside the King's concern..." "You want to sell your services to others...," he said with a frown. She reminded him, "you sanction the Lady of the Underworld to dabble in certain... transactions..." "She has my back," Finn retorted. Leaning forward, Orzsebet said, "then perhaps I would back the King... Perhaps I would look after his other interests... Her network isn't as big as mine, and there's less... baggage."
It was as strange as any of the conversations he'd ever had with this woman. He'd spent a good chunk of his life variously rescuing her from her own folly or wanting to wring her neck. At the same time, he wanted to wean himself away from relying on Cherry's network of thieves and con-artists. He wanted to return to the days when the gangsters preyed on each other and left the normies alone. At the same time, he knew very little of what Orzsebet and her peeps actually did when they weren't selling their service to princesses. "No man or woman who punches a clock each day can be directly touched," he said. Orzsebet blinked. And then, there was a lot of room to maneuver in that edict. "All matters relevant to the world of Royals belong to the King," she replied. "Agreed," Finn said.
The train rolled on into the evening, finally rolling to a stop in the icy darkness on a siding in the wilderness. Men were waiting there with horses. Finn gathered on weapons and equipment and joined the Agent Princess on the platform at the back of his private car. The big man wasted little time on ceremony, climbing off the platform and straight onto a horse. When his companions were mounted up, the King drove his heels into his horse's flanks and galloped off.
The sun was rising when the little party crested a rise above the town of Ventimiglia, hard by the banks of the Roya river. The shadowport was bustling, with a dozen ships swinging at anchor, waiting on the morning tide. Glancing to his right, Finn stared out at the sea, a few miles down the river. His stomach churned on worry. Breezy could be on any of those ships. They could be planning to haul his beloved friend away this very morning. "Princess Orzsebet," the big man growled. The Lady of Spies rode up on his left. "Find our quarry," he rumbled. "I'm going to buy time..." With bodyguard in tow, the King of Ooo rode off down the river. One of the spies remarked, "how's he going to stop ships from leaving?" Orzsebet muttered, "we have our part to play. Let's get at it."
Finn the King set a ferocious pace as if he'd been born in the saddle. Thundering through the woods, churning snow and dodging low branches, the big man was in his element–a man of action instead of a jumped-up thug on a throne. His bodyguards did their best to keep up because the big man showed no interest or inclination in stopping just now. They were close. They were close to the King's quarry, and everyone could feel it.
As they rode through the woods, the land began to rise, giving way to a deep, steep-sided river gorge that sheltered the river from storms off the sea. Finn made straight for the highest point, riding up and up and up until he finally emerged from the naked, skeletal trees a hundred feet up from the water. Alighting there, the big man spent several minutes pacing back and forth, and that was where his ernest protectors found him. What he looked at or looked for, neither of his bodyguards could say.
Finally, the King of Ooo seemed to come to a decision. "Take the horses," he said. "Take them down the hill about a couple-hundred yards." "Yes, sire," said the food-taster. Gathering up the reins, the banana-guard turned and headed off, leaving the King alone with his bodyguard. The King was staring at his hand, as if working himself up for something. "Rope," he rumbled. The bodyguard rushed back down the hill, returning a few minute later at a dead run. He found his master standing atop the pinnacle of the cliff, examining the crumbling stone there.
Without a word, the bodyguard fashioned a makeshift harness out of the rope, tieing it off on a stout tree. Arguing would do him no good. The King was set on this. More to the point, the King of Ooo was likely the only man in creation who could carry off this one-man blockade that he was aiming at. Returning to his master, the soldier handed off the harness and watched as the big man climbed into it, cinching it up tight. And then Finn jumped over the side. The bodyguard immediately rushed to the cliffside. There he found his master chiseling away at seams and faults in the stone with main-force.
Hundreds of miles to the north, Star Mertens strode into the Council Chambers wearing a sexy, slinky hip-hugging dress in shimmery green cloth with Ragnhild and Noemi at her back. It was the same format as her father and brother–a member of the Mertens family on the throne with his or her coterie of Royal Advisors. There was neither sight nor scent of Nieve, and Odessa was fit to be tied. It was bad enough that the little bitch dodged her husband as if he came with a bad smell, making the hoped-for Royal Heir something of a longshot. Now she was ducking a prime opportunity to shine.
Settling herself on her father's throne, Star crossed her legs artfully, "you may start the meeting, mother." It was the polite and formal that the family had adopted. Lollipop stepped forward and called the meeting to order. "This meeting will be short," Star announced. "Rumor control. My brother is on the ground in Jungle Kingdom. The Minister for Science and the First Minister are investigating the disturbance in the bunker..."
It was much like the run of such meetings that Billy had conducted. The Ice Prince behaved as if he was only a steward–warming the seat while his father was away. A part of Odessa was a little disappointed that a fellow woman would do the same. You expected a little more out of a woman than a man. And, of course, she had other heirs she could have offered up to be the nymph-girl's husband–pliable men who would have done her bidding and worked to steer the little woman from behind the throne. Still, Billy was the heir apparent, and the old woman found herself cursing Nieve. Where was that silly bitch?
Crab Princess started the kvetching. "Where's Finn," she demanded? "The King's in the east," said Star. "He's dealing with the ongoing rebellion." "W-why can't he get back here," Djanira the Desert Princess demanded? The business went south fast, with the various princesses deciding that, since Star was somewhere near third or fourth in line for the throne, they could just bully her. It was every kind of ugly, and Star was a little shocked at just how cunty these women were. As she tried again and again to get the meeting back under control, the nasty bitches kept escalating things–making demands that she had no power to meet even if they weren't complete lunacy.
Half of them wanted the army brought back from the Wall because, in their mind, the threat was disrupted. They wanted to send the army to Jungle Kingdom to storm the bunker and remove all the dangerous material. It was madness on its face when they didn't even know what was in the bunker. The other half of them wanted Star to conjure some kind of miracle. In their mind, she should command the Ice Queen to deploy all the wizards in Wizard City to simply 'zap' the bunker away or something. Things got truly terrifying when the ambassador from the Elbow Kingdom suggested going to the Maze to acquire a wish from the Wishmaster. The only thing uniting them was their continued and strident demands that Finn drop whatever he was doing to rush back home to deal with the problems in Jungle Kingdom's bunker–as if the business with the Bandit Princess could just be ignored.
"My father would be the first to tell you that he's no brainiac," Star interrupted. "He would simply hand the problem to his most learned people. That's already been done by my brother. The Minister for Science is involved, and I've reached out to the Truth Kingdom to see if they can..." "We should force the Grid-Face People to build a Tesla Barrier around the bunker," howled the Desert Princess! Pounding her fist into the arm of the throne, Star snarled, "the next one to speak will see thirty days, dungeon!" Crab Princess opened her mouth, but Star shut it for her, growling, "interrupt me again, Crab Princess! Interrupt me and see what comes next!"
Back in the east, Finn dusted himself clean of dirt and rock-dust. The mechanical arm was a little the worse for the wear, but the river was blocked to ships entering or leaving. Anybody trying would see the bottom torn out of their boat. They might even be stuck here for weeks if they couldn't muster the resources to remove the rubble from the riverbed. Finn himself was exhausted. He'd had to use the curse a few times to dodge falling boulders. It was time to catch up to Orzsebet and see what she'd found out.
His strength slowly returned as he headed down the hill, and he was mostly walking normally by the time they reached the horses. Neither bodyguard said a word as their master climbed back into the saddle. They'd gotten through this without losing him. That was what counted. They weren't going to have to disappear. Both men were terrified of what would happen if they should ever return without him.
Orzsebet was waiting for them in a seedy bar hard by the side of the river when the King rolled into town. Nervous faces watched the big man as he and his ernest bodyguards rode in. There were advantages to the train. Lots of rich fucks like Kim Kil Wan owned and used private train cars to get around. It was as simple as hitching a ride on a train going your way. The only thing the railroads cared about was that the safety equipment on your car was up to scratch and your money was good. Nobody needed to know who was in the car, and mostly nobody cared. Right now, Finn was aware that most people on Ooo knew his appearance even if they'd never really met him.
They can't leave by boat, he thought, as he stepped down from his horse. The kidnapers would have to ride out of here, and their horses would be no faster than his. They had to get back to the roads in the north to make good time or have access to motor vehicles. These wild lands made a great place to do their dirt, but the bandits could only escape to sea when there was trouble. He had them trapped.
Striding into the bar, the King of Ooo scanned the scene, his eyes taking in the furtive stares. Yeah, they knew who he was. The fact that so many were interested in his face suggested that maybe the goings-on in the town were widely known. They knew there was something of interest to the King of Ooo in this place, with some likely willing to sell him information on the subject if he asked it.
Boots thumping on the floor, the big man took the stroll across the room at a measured pace, letting everybody get a very good look. Arriving in the corner where his spymaster sat, the big man announced, "Orzsebet..." "Master," she replied. The man next to her glanced at her and then back at Finn. Finn hoped he did report that to Orzsebet's committee. Let them believe that he was this wench's master. And let them be very afraid of him. He only needed to gesture, and the other spy hastened to get out of that chair in short order.
Slipping into the chair beside the Lady of Spies, the big man rumbled, "the channel's blocked. They can't leave." "I'd heard the... commotion," Orzsebet replied. "There's only one way back out of the town now," the second spy declared. "They'll likely be on the road tonight, bound for Bordighera." "The target's here," Orzsebet murmured. "My contacts with InterFone have told me that there's only three phones in the entire town, and one of them is the contact we got from Mr. Hansen." Finn's eyes asked the question. Where? Knowing the risk of spooking the target, Orzsebet merely replied with, "we'll be ready to move at sunset, Master. We'll have them then."
An hour after dinner, a worried Star Mertens strolled into the tiny lab Maja kept in the depths of Bonnie's dungeon. She'd been closeted there for weeks–basically since she'd come out of her coma and been cleared by Drew to be up and about. Nobody really knew what she was doing in the lab, though Drew often stopped by to look in on her. Star's father knew, but he wasn't here and likely wasn't interested in speaking on the subject if he was. Trouble was, Maja was one of the most powerful and ancient members of the family. She knew things that only Simone or Bonnie might know and much that they did not. Bonnie had been militating for every member of their extended clan to jump in to tackle the problem of the bunker, and that apparently included the Sky Witch.
The witch was working with a wand and weaving a stunningly complex spell when the wood-nymph wonder came into her space. Star stood there a moment staring at the construct with her wizard-eyes, and she found her breath catching. That was what got the witch's attention. When the little woman exhaled, Maja turned to face her, a frown on her eternally beautiful face. "Star," she greeted Finn's middle daughter, as she set the wand down. Shaking off her shock at what the older woman was building, Star announced, "you're wanted in Jungle Kingdom. Princess Bubblegum wanted me to send you there as soon as it could be arranged."
"Out of the question," Maja replied, as she turned back to her work. She was close. She was getting very close. The energy demands were no longer cataclysmic now. They were almost within the realm of the possible, and she didn't want to let up while she was making progress. She was looking forward to getting this thing done and getting back to her own business. Striding forward, Star announced, "it's not a negotiation. You're..." "I don't work for you, dearie," Maja growled, as she spun to face the younger woman. "I don't work for anybody, certainly not Bonnibel Bubblegum."
Star blinked in surprise, her mind starting to go down dangerous tracks. This wasn't the doddering madwoman they had taken in. This was the cunningly evil woman who'd fought them for the fate of Ooo, and she was acting without any kind of restraint at all. More on point, she was a better magician than Star, and the younger woman knew it. The two women stood there a moment, staring at each other, Star feeling all the terror of the moment. She'd come down here unprepared for a fight. She'd just assumed...
Breaking the impasse, the Sky Witch brushed Star's cheek with the back of her hand, declaring, "you have a lot of your father in you–rushing around like a maniac when you should wait and be quiet." Nodding as she turned to the table, the evil witch rumbled, "you'll learn patience, just as he did." Star stared at the older woman in shock, but the hits kept coming. "You under-estimate your brother, Star," Maja said, as she took up the wand once more. "William will be fine. Just you keep those bitches out of his hair." Shaking her head, Star turned and walked out. It appeared she was dismissed.
As Star left the dungeons under the palace in a state of shock and terror, her father stood in the shadows outside a ramshackle warehouse staring into space, his mind roiled by anticipation of imminent violence. The mystery phone–and its owner–were in the warehouse. That meant a high likelihood that Breezy was in there. She might be injured or otherwise incapacitated. She was certainly shackled. If Finn wanted to rescue his old friend, this was his chance. He was feeling all the manic urge to action that he'd always felt, in spite of the nano-machines and their insistent dampening of the surging stress chemicals in his brain. At the same time, his deeper nature–the man inside the machine–was counseling caution. They were close. This was his best chance. He couldn't afford to blow it.
"Ten minutes, sire," announced the spy at his elbow. They were all much more respectful now. He'd somehow proven himself to them. Maybe his actions–and the little conversation with Agent Princess–had opened some kind of door. They were working with him. That was key to making this work. He'd planned this out with them. Their quarry would likely get put on a wagon. Said wagon would have to come out through the broad double-doors in the fortified warehouse. That was their in. Kill the horses. They didn't need them. They had horses of their own to get out of here. Stall the wagon in the entry. Kill the men inside–except their mystery man.
A whisper came to Finn's ears. There was activity at the front door. The big man gathered himself, getting looser, his hands reaching for the famous sword that hung at his hip. In a world that had become well acquainted with firearms and other dangerous tools of death, he still did business in a rather personal way, getting up close before cramming three feet of blade into his adversary's guts. Few ever survived the meeting.
The doors came open a crack, and it was clear the men inside were struggling to move them. The doors were heavily overbuilt in thick planks hewn from stout trees banded in iron. They moved. Slowly. The doors hung on tracks that were rough and rusty. Slowly, and then with more speed, the doors ground open as the men put their backs into the job. "Now," Finn announced, as the pack of people in the woods rushed the warehouse.
The bandits in the warehouse were taken by surprise as the black-clad strangers came rushing in out of the darkness. Miniature crossbows fired with the soft twang of well-greased bow-strings. It was silent weapons for this business, lest the neighbors overhear and decide to involve themselves. That was always a risk in a place like this. If you had something worth your being raided over, there could be more than one interested group willing to crash the party.
The men at the doors fell dead in a barrage of arrows. The spies rushed in through the gap with Finn hot on their heels. That didn't feel right to him. His adrenalin surging, he wanted to be first in the door–same as he'd always been. A harsh reality had taken over his life. He was father to dozens of young children, and he was King. He had to balance his hunger with those basic realities. Now he took a back seat, directing his spies as they rolled right over the Bandit Princess's thugs, slaughtering the surprised men where they stood.
In short order, they had the wagon, its contents, and the entry. Now, Finn stepped back to wait, as his agents went to work. There was a phone here, and that phone belonged to the mystery holding his friend. It was time to let others do the real work. Hanging back with his bodyguards, the big man waited and listened as the agents fanned out, cutting their way through the ranks of the bandits with savage aplomb. When they were out of sight and the main entry secure, he turned his attention to the box, sending the food-taster out to scare up tools to open it.
The big man occupied his time thinking of witty things he would say to Breezy. She'd rescued him a couple of times now. He could now say he'd rescued her. When the annoying banana had returned, the King got down to business, driving wedges carefully into the seams in the box and prying at the lid. The contraption was ominously constructed as if the occupant was never intended to see the light of day ever again, and that had him a little worried. As the wood finally began to give, a noxious scent escaped that sent a chill of terror through him. Now the King and his bodyguards began to work like men possessed, chiseling and prying at the box until they finally broke the lid open.
Grabbing a torch from one of the spies, the King shined the light inside to reveal his once-and-former grand-niece, Bronwyn, laying within. She was filthy and stank as if she'd been in that box for weeks, and she was terrifyingly still. A machine built into the side of the box with leads going into her side seemed to be all that was feeding her, and she had clearly lost a great deal of weight. "Dead," announced the spy. "No," said Finn. "Drugged." He could see her chest moving. Barely. She was breathing, but so slow and shallow that you would have been forgiven for not noticing.
Now the questions began. How had Kim's daughter ended up here? And why? Kim had cut ties with him years ago, though Finn had never returned the favor. Would someone have decided that Kim's people were fair-game because of that relationship? He'd warned Jake to take the pups and go east, and now he feared that Jake's family had waited on that just too long. The important thing now was to get Bronwyn out of here.
Bronwyn is rescued. One more thread ended. We're in the home-stretch. Of course, Billy still has to figure out Whats in the Box...