"Demons do not cry... You became a demon, because you couldn't cry anymore, right? Humans cry, and when their tears finally run dry, there is nothing left, but a demon, nor a monster, and one finally prayer for death..."

—Alexander Anderson

"… Mama… Pa… pa… La… o…"

"They're long gone, kiddo." Li whispered happily as he crouched in front of the twelve-year old he had chained up to the wall. "Don't you think it's time for you to join them? To see them again?" He asked as he reached out and grabbed her chin, making her look at him.

Mei's once frosted and brilliant blue eyes were nearly lifeless now, dulled, and a year had passed so painfully slow, the light was dimmed to nearly inexistence now. Her bangs fell forward and covered one of her eyes as she was forced to look at the man she once called 'uncle'. Her face was dirtied with dry blood, dirt, and dried stains from tears and sweat.

"Don't you want to see them?" Li asked, a small smile on his face. For a moment, his expression made her believe it was all a dream. That her family was fine, that he was still her loving and fun uncle. That she would wake up in her brothers arms crying, and h would be there to comfort her.

Mei's fingers twitched, "… See… them…?" She whispered hoarsely.

Li nodded slowly as he leaned in, "… All you have to do… Is tell me where those swords are, Mei…" He whispered against her ear.

Mei's heart was beating faster and faster at the thought of seeing her family again. Her wonderful and odd siblings, her loving parents… What she wouldn't give to see them again… The thought of seeing them, made her shed tears.

"Protect these with your life, Mei… You're the last of the family I can trust with these… Now run!"

Biting her lip, Mei suddenly swung her head to the side with great force and into Li's. The force causing him to let out a short cry of pain before he fell to the ground, blood coming out from the side of both of their heads. That light in her eyes slowly came back, "… Rot… In hell… Li…" She groaned. "… I'd rather burn… Than give up those swords… Only members of the Shi main family… can touch Kusanagi and Muramasa…. You're just a lowly fool who leeched off my parents… Filthy blood has no right of any kind to touch metal so sacred…" She hissed.

"You little brat!"

"Name calling again…?" Mei whispered before she looked at the man as he got up from the ground. "Who's the brat now?" She let out a small cry as they took her off the chains and threw her onto her stomach, holding her down by her wrists and ankles, ripping off her shirt.

"… I'll show you, how to treat the man who's been gracious enough to keep you alive." Li growled as he waked over to the corner of the room, taking off his shirt at first.

Mei felt a twinge of fear crawl up her spine as she saw him remove his top shirt. The fear gave her enough adrenaline to start struggling just a bit against the men that held her down. "Let me go!"

"No."

Mei bit down on her lip harshly. She needed to stay strong, if she died he'd get nothing. She'd simply have to endure whatever he had in store for her. As she tried to mentally prepare for what was to come, she was suddenly interrupted by something cold on her back. Before it became very hot.

A scream tore past her lips as she remembered that heat that now burned her skin. She managed to look behind her enough to see the flames that were ignited on her back. That cold substance must've been what helped light the fire. She knew she was screaming. The pain was excruciating. She felt it burning away her skin.

-Reality-

Mei woke up with a scream, her hands going to her back as she felt the tears falling down her cheeks. She had forgotten where she was for a moment before she remembered, "… Right… I'm… I'm with the Roshigumi… I'm… I'm fine…" She whispered before someone was suddenly at her door, probably because they heard her scream. But it was very early in the morning, the sun wasn't even close to rising yet. Peculiar.

"Mei…!?"

Sanan? Mei thought a bit confused before she watched the door slowly open.

"Are you alright?" The man asked as he opened the door just a bit but not entering.

"… Yes… Just… A nightmare…" Mei stated before she narrowed her eyes on his silhouette. "What are you doing up, Sanan?" She asked, slowly getting up from her futon.

Sanan seemed to hesitate before answering, "… Nimi and Serizawa..." That's all he had to say.

Mei knew what that meant.

"… Everyone else is out looking for the escaped Fury… I was about to go out as well until I heard your scream, I thought maybe he managed to stay in the compound and had attacked you while you slept." He stated before he looked to the ground, "I would've woken you to help but Okita and the others asked me to let you rest as you seemed to be a bit tired lately. Please, go back to bed…" He advised.

The woman sat there in silence for a moment before she frowned. As much as she wanted to help kill a fury, she wasn't sure if she was mentally prepared for it. Silently she thanked the men for her pardon, and sighed, "Alright…" She was also only a page… She couldn't really fight them about what she could and would do. She had to remember that.

"Thank you." Sanan said before he left to go help the others in any way he could.

Mei sat there, alone in the darkness of her room for who knew how long without saying a word or moving an inch. After what seemed like an eternity, the page moved to lay back down but she did not close her eyes. Her bright eyes stared up at the ceiling as if searching for some sort of answer. Her nightmares were becoming frequent once again and soon enough she would refuse to sleep if she'd only be unconscious for an hour or so before being forced to wake up by dreadful memories. Why were those memories coming back? Were they reminding her how weak she was? How easy it is to believe in one's kindness before they betray you?

Soon she wouldn't be able to sleep. She wouldn't want to. Would she have to tell the boys? She didn't want them to know. In fact, it was something she terribly wanted to forget.

-Later that morning-

Mei had just finished putting out the laundry before she went off to go grab the ingredients she needed for breakfast. That was, until she heard Hijikata's voice.

"Fellow corps member Sasaki was killed at Suzaku no Senbon way with a woman…"

Followed by the nine gasps of the familiar men to her. Her back pressed up against one of the pillars near the veranda before she opted to sitting down, making sure the men wouldn't see her shadow or anything.

"We believe the culprit was Saiki, who has become a fury." Hijikata concluded.

The mention of the creatures caused her to become agitated immediately. She hated them, despised them with every fiber of her being.

"Got any proof?" Heisuke asked, seemingly not wanting to believe his comrade-in-arms was that far gone.

"The locals are talking about how they've been hearing animal like growls all night. Furthermore, there was hardly any blood left in the corpses." Sanan stated lightly. She could already hear the troubled feelings he had about the whole thing. He probably felt partially responsible. Not that he wasn't.

"He drank their blood? That's mess up." Shinpachi whispered, sounding very disturbed by the prospect.

You have no idea… Mei couldn't help but think.

"Supposedly, Sasaki died trying to defend the young lady." Saito interjected.

"He protected his woman, didn't he? Right up until the very end." Harada stated.

Mei frowned before she silently got up to her feet then walked to the door, "Breakfast will be ready in an hour or so." She stated quietly, enough for them to hear, before she walked off. Once she said what she needed to say she walked off to gather the ingredients.

However, she didn't get far. Someone grabbed her wrist which caused her to stop in her tracks. She turned back to see that it was Okita, and a few of the others. She turned bac around to see Kondou, Sanan, Hijikata and Saito in front of her.

"Did you hear what we said?" Hijikata asked sternly, his eyes glaring down into her own.

It was like her position with them was plainly and firmly being pressed into her like a brand. She was no soldier, nor was she an actual member. She was a page. A glorified page. But in another circumstance, she happened to be a prisoner of unfortunate circumstances.

Mei felt herself growing colder again. Her heart beginning to freeze and become heavy. With a growl she glared at him back, "Whatever you do with your- Mistakes is not up to me to judge. As you are plainly showing me, I'm still not trusted." She harshly pulled her wrist away from her master's grip. "But if you continue with that medicine, the only thing that will be brought to you and your friends, is misfortune." She hissed.

"You know too many secrets of the Roshigumi, know that the more you come to be aware of, you will never be able to leave." Sanan stated softly, almost apologetically. As if trying to calm her down. But it wasn't working. She felt those walls they had managed to chip away beginning to return much faster than before.

"It's not like you planned on letting me leave anyways… it's not like you could stop me." Mei said ominously before she turned on her heels and pushed past Okita and Heisuke. "Make your own damn breakfast, ungrateful fuckers." She spat out harshly before she made her way towards her room. Just as everything was going back to normal, to the warmth they all shared with one another, it was like they were back to square one. To those first few weeks.

Why? Why were they treating her this way? That's what she really wanted to say. Her body begged her to. That's what her heart screamed out as it cracked. But her mind said, Push them away. As if being more defensive, more closed off would protect her. That's what she was comfortable with. It was what she knew. She wasn't used to dealing with feelings anymore. So… Becoming cold was all she could do to protect whatever was left of her fragile heart. Pushing people away and being cold to others made her more comfortable, because that way she wouldn't have to be scared anymore. Scared what she would do if she lost them.

Was this how it was going to be? That they would take two steps forward then four steps back.

-later that night-

Mei sat in the darkness of her room as she did that morning. Her eyes were on the floor. She held the swords she treasured most against her chest as she had tears fall down her cheeks despite the passive expression on her face.

Why did it hurt so much? When did she grow so attached to them? Why did it have to be them?

So many thoughts ran through her mind that it felt like she would explode. She got up, thinking maybe some fresh air would help and since all the men were out and about, she didn't feel the need to hide away in her room.

She walked silently down the Veranda.

"Sanan… You wanted me to kill that fury, didn't you?"

That voice… Okita… are they back already? Mei thought as she stopped at the corner, around it and out of sight of where she heard his voice.

"What would make you think that?" Sanan asked, as if curious about how Okita deduced his motives.

"You send me to the dangerous location and deliberately push that I was to kill him, remember?" Okita explained. Mei could hear the water he gently spilled onto his sword, cleaning it of whatever was left of the man he had killed not too long ago. Of the fury he had cut down.

"It's because you have a great aptitude."

"Aptitude?" Okita asked, chuckling.

"Indeed. Aptitude to be our sword. Okita, it is vital that you become the sword for the Roshigumi." Sanan stated lightly but even Mei could feel the heaviness behind his words.

"The Roshigumi's sword…" Okita seemed to mull over the idea.

"The ronin, fear the sword of Souji Okita and are awestruck by the Roshigumi. Henceforth I imagine your sword will get drenched in far more blood. Even if it goes against the desires of our commander Kondou, show no mercy as you cut them down." The emotion in Sanan's voice made a chill run down Mei's spine. She made sure to keep her voice hidden away in her chest, her breath's inaudible, and her movements still. But she feared that Okita's perceptiveness had caught her already as her fingers had twitched gently against the wood of the door.

Her eyes were wide as she heard the conversation. Her body felt cold as she held in the urge to run. Why? She felt so—afraid. No of something… But for someone. For a particular group. For the Roshigumi. Some part of her knew this would end in tragedy, and she knew she should take her chance and leave. To run away and simply walk away from those memories she has made with these men. But her body refused to move, even when Sanan had long since left the yard.

Run… Run damnit…! These emotions she was beginning to experience was as if it were the first time. And it might as well have been since no one was there to teach her emotions, since she had shut them away for nearly 12 years. I'm… I'm scared… She moved away from the corner before silently turning on her heel and began to walk away.

That night… She had fled to her room and locked herself away. Mei did not go back to sleep that night.

-A few weeks later-

"Maybe we were too… Cold with Mei last time, someone should've gone after her." Heisuke whispered as he sat in his usual spot for breakfast. He had barely touched the food Saito prepared. "Mei still hasn't come out of her room."

"Leave her be. If she wants to be a child, let her throw her tantrum. She'll come out when she's ready to behave like a grown up." Okita stated as he ate his breakfast without even batting an eye.

"… But no matter what anyone does, she won't even respond anymore." Shinpachi stated softly, picking at his food as he gazed at it.

Harada had been silent, but obviously his frown was caused by his concern for their- friend? Comrade?... His brows furrowed, what exactly was Mei to them? Before they had said she was their friend or comrade so casually before, whenever it was brought up, but now if they would all really think about it, what was Mei to them?

"The only one who had probably seen her was Ryunosuke, I think. He mentioned that Mei helped him with Serizawa and Saito when they and Hijikata were sick the other day." Heisuke mentioned before he looked up towards the mentioned teen.

"O-Oh… Well yeah… I caught her in the kitchen setting some ginger near the sake I was preparing. She was the one who told me that Ginger helps colds…" Ryunosuke admitted as he looked at the other men in the room.

Some of the men seemed to relax. She was at least leaving her room, right?

Okita sighed deeply as the men seemed to be annoying him with the talk of his page. He looked at all of them and saw them staring between him and Harada. "What now?" He groaned with obvious irritation.

"… One of you have to talk to her." Heisuke stated with a firm nod.

"We all know Hijikata won't do it, neither would Sanan, and the ones she's always been closest to are you and Harada. Saito could do it too, but I think he's to inept with emotion to really talk to her." Shinpachi stated without a bit of remorse for subtly insulting his friend.

Saito didn't seem to find the will to deny it either.

Ryunosuke frowned a bit before he sighed. Contemplating something very hard in his mind. He should tell them, but Serizawa would probably get real pissy with him if he opened his big mouth.

Okita took notice of this, as did Harada and Saito.

They saw the contemplation. And they themselves contemplated on grilling him about whatever it was he was so undetermined about.

"Why don't you all just talk to her… I'm pretty sure she'd like that more than just one on one…" Ryunosuke offered as he rubbed the back of his head again. He felt their stares and immediately became uncomfortable. "Or don't it's not like it matters to me…!" He shouted a bit before leaving the room.

-Later that night-

The men all had built up enough courage to go see Mei, being that their commanding officers refused to speak a word of what was going on. They were going to talk to Mei, especially since they dragged Okita and Saito along with them, even if the latter didn't do anything to the woman. Well none of them really did anything, but the guilt they felt was real enough.

"Mei… Can we talk? We're all here…" Heisuke murmured.

No response.

"Please?... We're not here to alienate you…" Harada swore.

Still, no response.

"… I brought some sake too!" Shinpachi chided in.

Again, no response from the other side of the door.

And that fact seemed to irritate the woman's master. Okita walked to the door and immediately slid it wide open, without a worry that he'd catch in indecently or anything, "Mei you little-… Mei?"

All the men peeked inside, and all of their eye's widened unmistakably. "What the…"

Inside, there was no one to be found.

Mei was gone.

-Somewhere else-

The lights were bright yet had a gentle glow in the night. A warm tone to the dark and bleak world around her. Her pink hair was let down as a woman brushed her hair. Her swords in her line of sight just beside the mirror. The music filling the air as it echoed through the halls and reaching her ears almost melodically. She had forgotten how oddly calming the place was for her. It was nice being back.

"Mei! Your hair is absolutely lovely as always!~ I see you've still kept maintaining your hair even with those rough men of the Roshigumi." The woman giggled as she gently, practically, played with the pink locks of the Shi female.

Mei forced a gentle smile before nodding, "I suppose so..." She whispered before looking at her swords.

"When I first saw you, it looked like you were crying the other day... What happened?" The woman asked, "Were the guys mean to you?" She asked with a frown.

Mei let out a dry laugh, "... I'm fine, I've exhausted all my tears... There's not much left in me anymore." She stated, hiding the bitterness behind a jovial expression, and it seemingly did well as the woman only laughed a bit with her.

"How long will you be staying this time?" The woman asked softly as she looked at Mei through the mirror. Her smile was brilliant and gentle, making Mei feel even more bitter.

"I'm not quite sure." Mei admitted with a soft and yet bitter smile, a light flippant tone in her voice.

I won't cry anymore... I can't... All my tears have run dry... I am empty.

DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNNN!

Hello my dear story's followers and favoriter's. I uploaded this fairly quickly considering the last time I uploaded. The reviews gave me a lot of motivation (despite like two or three people reviewing). It was nice seeing that people liked my chapter and thought it was worth the wait. I'm also very eager to finish this part of the fanfiction since I want to start getting into the real intense shit with the SHINSENGUMI. There I can use more outfits a kind person named Fanfic Enjoyer had recommend.

If you agree, please review! I want to see more reviews! I love hearing from you guys, it gives me motivation and confidence that my fanfiction isn't absolute crap. Also, you all should tell me in the reviews what song reminds you of Mei (or Mei and Okita with their weird little frienemy relationship).

Tell me what you think of this chapter, I know it's shorter than the last but I felt that this was a good place to stop and leave y'all in suspense at what's happened. Tell me if you loved it, hated it, think it was 'ight'-leave all your opinions in the reviews please! Show the fanfiction more love it always gives me motivation to write. Thank you all again for taking the time to read my fanfiction I really appreciate the support and love you all show for my baby.

Yours truly,

Chess.